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INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.
Bpkjial Notices— Auction on Monday, Bth,
of Cloaks, Jersaya, Etc., by C. H. Dorsett, Auc
tioneer; As to Craw of Norwegian Mark Otua.
RnunsHir Scheddlb— Ocean Steamship Com
pany.
Amusements— J. C. Stewart in the “Eat Men's
Club” at Theater, Not. 10; Bazar for Benefit of
St. Mary's Orphans' Home, Monday Evening,
Nov. 9.
Legal Notices—Citations from the Clerk of
the Court of Ordinary of Chatham County;
Notices as to Claims For and Against Estates,
I Spy—B. H. Levy A Bro.
Bovs' Clothing— Falk Clothing Company.
Handkerchiefs at ISO —At Altmayer's.
Oreat Proposition or thk Moknino News—
The Americanised Encyclopedia Britanmea.
Cheap Column Advertisements Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted: For Kant; For
Sale; Lost; Found; Personal; Miscellaneous.
So Jones he seems to think it was a catas
trophe. If it really is “a catastrophe” as it
may now look from certain standpoints
then Jones hs is "strictly in it.”
Over in Pennsylvania the republicans
claim to have got in the state at least
110,(100 votes more than the democratic
ticket received. So the ohancee are that
the republican ticket is elected.
Pemnylvania lias very emphatically
decided not to take that proposed constitu
tional. That is to say that the proposition
to hold a constitutional convention was de
feated with impetuous enthusiasm.
Pennsylvania say that the
bulk and extent and vast scope of the ma
jority corraled on the recent ' 'result” was
unexpected. Yet from this distance it
seems a perfectly reasonable surmise that
such an outcome—in fact such an outpour
ing was not half as unexpected to them as
St was to the afflicted opposition.
Apparently the hearty applause with
which the defense of Hr. Briggs was
greeted completely discouraged the prose
cution. Nevertheless a great deal more of
vehement excitement was maifested than is
altogether compatible with the judicial
calm of the typical deliberative body uud the
tranquil repoee usually associated with the
clerical profession.
When the Burlington Hawke ye so jubi
lantly shouted just before tho election “that
there will beabig political funeral in Iowa”
the writer thereof probably did not antici
pate riding m the first carriage in the cause
ity of chief mourner. But he has probably
consumed a big wad of miscellaneous
fabrics in mopping up his tern’s before this
time.
Temperance people may reasonably claim
• very solidly sizeable sized chunk of conso
lation from the recent New York "result.”
Instead of seizing the proffered Fassett with
the customary Tammany relish the voters
seem to have selected a comfortably rotund
Flower bar'!. And they do say to the disad
vantage of these individual sflveroigus tha;
they pretty thoroughly cleaned out the con
tents of the said bar’l.
One of the strongest bonds of sympathy
that binds together in fond harmony the
great Kussian Czar aud the Shah of Persia
is their confirmed antipathy to the Jews.
That seems to be about the extent of their
recent picturesque imperial compact.
Between the two of them the hustling Ori
ental Hebrew stands a protty fair chance
to pats an uncomfortably hard winter.
UDSeemly rare prejudice has raised an ex
citing ruction aiming the Pennsylvania re
publicans at Harrisburg. They are charged
with deleating a very estimable candidate of
African desceut simply because of his color.
Aud be didn't ask anything more than to
be made coroner either. But the blunt
spokeu and inconsiderate republican elec
tors gruffly declared that they wouldn’t
•“allow no darned coon to set on their re
mains,” or words to that effect,
Tbe anti-lottery people in Louisiana are
eorrying on a vigorous fight against the
lottery. They have just scattered over the
country an appeal for help. The appeal is
a strongly written document and recites tbe
history of the Ixiuisiana Lottery Company.
About the strongest point made is that with
the consent of the lottery company a pro
vision was put into the Btate constitution of
1879 by which all lotteries were to be pro
hibited iu the state after 1895. Disregard
ing that agreement the lottery company is
now seeking to have the constitution so
amended os to extend Its charter for twenty
five years.
Not a Tammany Triumph.
The election of Mr. Flower in Now York
was not a triumph for Tammany. Some of
the New York newspapers that are hostile
to Tammany are trying to make it appear
that it vras. Their object is to strengthen
the opposition to that organization with
the view of giving New York to the repub
licans in the presidential year. Their argu
ment is that Tammany, having a firm hold
on the Empire state, will now seek to control
the government at Washington.
An in*Du.".:oa of Tuea lav's vote In New
York, however, shows that Tammany did
not give Mr. Flower any where near ns large
a majority as, it was expected it would.
Had the dem orats of Kings county and
of the counties of the interior of the state,
done no better ttaa Tammany in propor
tion to their numbers, Mr. Flower would
have been defeated.
When the vote of New York city was
known there was great alarm at the demo
cratic headquarters. For a short tima the
belief was entertained that the republicans
had carried the state. The returns from
Kings county, however, created a better
feeling, and when the returns from the in
terior counties began to come in, and it was
found that Mr. Flower had received an
unexpectedly large vote outside of New
York city, the alarm changed to rejoicing.
The truth is, the democrats o* the interior
saved the day.
The large vote which Mr. Flower received
in the country districts may lead him to
think tha- he Is a very popular man, and
may inspire him with an ambition to be the
democratic nominee for President. If he
aims at the presidency he may discover
that his popularity among the rural popu-
lation is not greater than that of many
other democratic leaders of the state, not
withstanding the large vote he got in the
country.
The main reason probably that the demo
cratic vote outside of New York city was so
large was the active pait which Mr. Cleve
land took in the campaign. The number of
democrats in the interior counties who voted
was unusually large because of Mr. Cleve
land’s appeals in Mr. Flower’s behalf. There
are those, of course, who deny that Mr.
Cleveland's influence extended beyond New
York city and Brooklyn, but they do not
pretend to explain why it was that In so
many counties Mr. Flower’s vote was so
much larger than it was expected to be
while Mr. Fassett’s wa< much smal er.
No doubt the question of tariff reform
bad some Influence in bringing country
democrats to the polls, but it was not pushed
vigorously to the front. The campaign was
made almost wholly on iooal issues.
Tammany was u doubtodly loyal to Mr.
Flower, but its failure to give him as big a
majority as it had promised shows that his
election cannot be regarded as a great tri
umph fur the Tammany organization.
, Costly Reciprocity.
A reciprocity treaty has been nego
tiated between this country and Germany.
In consideration of the admission into this
country of the beet sugar of Germany free of
duty that country agrees to admit our wheat,
wheat (lour, rye, corn and pork. The beet
sugar of Germany has been admitted free
of duty ever since the McKinley tariff went
Into effect, but the German government is
afraid that the free sugar clause may lie
repealed by the present congress, and it,
therefore, hastens to secure a market for
beet sugar in this oouatry by means of a
treaty. •
The free sugar clause of the McKinley
tariff costs this country a good deal of
money. A bounty of 2 cents a pound is
paid on all sugar produced in any of the
states, and the amount that will bare to
be paid in bounties this year is more than
$15,000,000. The value of all the beet sugar
imported from Germany in a year is not
much greater than this sura.
It is pretty cartniu that dissatisfaction
with the bounty feature of the MeKiuloy
tariff will crop out in tho present oongress.
The producers of wheat aud cotton feel
that they are as much entitled to a bounty as
the sugar growers. The cotton growers
cannot produce cotton profitably at present
prices, and if the paying of bounties to those
who cannot make farming pay is to be the
policy of the country they w ill likely de
mand a share of the benefits of it.
Reciprocity lias some good features, but
this country is nay mg pretty dearly for
that part of it which relates to sugar. One
of the reasons why the Louisiana sugar
planters object’d to the bounty system was
their belief that public sentiment would de
mand the repeal of that system after a
year’s trial of it, or the extension of it to
other agricultural products.
It is true that tho people are now getting
cheap sugar, but they are paying dearly for
other necessary articles. The money to
carry on the government must come from
somewhere, and the amount needed for
government expenses is greater now than
ever before. When the duty was takeu off
sugar about $55,000,000 of revenue was cut
off, and the sugar bounties add about
$15,000,000 to the annual expenses. The
total of these two sums is $70,000,000. This
vast amount cannot be spared from the
revenues. It is needed for expenses. It
must necessarily come out of the pockets of
the people. Before assuming, therefore,
that the kind of reciprocity this administra
tion Is giving the country is beneficial to the
people it might be well to count tho cost
of it.
Elite detective society in Chicago wss re
cently agitated to the point of actual sensa
tion by the nuptials of Head Detective
Pinkerton's pretty daughter with the man
of her choice—whoever he may be. All the
most eminent tliief-catchers on the conti
nent were there and then joyously congre
gated and laoking as cunning aud un
fathomable as they knew how. It was a
very notable event. Had a venturesome
and ill-advised sneak thief stumbled iato
the festivities thero aggregated it would
have probably been the greatest misfortune
of his life.
When a man in New York committed
suicide the other day he was charged with
having previously committed the folly of
betting on Candidate Fassett. In his de
funct and somewhat inanimate condi
tion he could not defend himself against the
aspersion. Btill it wasn't fair to Bay that
about a man who iz not in good condition to
talk back. Yet when you come to think
the matter over a mau who would be fool
ish enough to stake his dollars on Fassett’s
popularity would not be likely to have any
more sense left than to com mit suicide.
Kansas voters seem tc- have lost interest
in the farmers’ alliance. Consequently the
republicans carried the state. Owing to
apparent indifference many of those alii—
a: oemeu who did vote ignored the allianoe
candidates and voted for either republicads
or democrats. Evidently the firm of ioimp
son & Peffer have lost their grip in the state.
THE MORNING NEWS: SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 1891.
A New Cotton Picking Machine.
The new cotton picking machine which is
being exhibited at Atlanta and tested in the
vicinity of that city seems to justify the
opinion that tne day is not distant when cot
ton will not be picked from the bolls by
hand. The machine, from the accounts of
the experiments made with it, will not yet
do the work expected of it, but great im
provements have been made in it recently,
and the work it does now is much better
than that which it did when it was first
tested. It will have to be considerably im
proved yet, however, before it will be
adopted by cotton growers.
Its inventors feel certain that they have
solved the problem of picking ootton by
machinery, and teat having made a few
improvements in their machine they will be
able to offer something to ootton growers
that will effect a great saving in the har
vesting of their crops. It is only natural,
however, 'that they- should have a most
favorable opinion of their invention.
It is asserted that the machine will be
placed upon the market next year. It
can be safely stated that it will find a
ready sale if it will do the work expected
of it. It is equally certain, however, that
it will not find purchasers if it is not what
it is alleged to be. Cotton growers will
not be in haste to invest in ootton pickers
until it has been demonstrated to their sat
isfaction that the problem of picking cotton
by machinery has been solved.
This new cotton picker is not the first
machine of the kind. The attention of the
public has been called to quite a number of
them within a very few years, but every
one of them has proved to be a failure.
They were all defective in some respects,
aud, hence, never came into use. A
great deal was said about the Mason cotton
picker a year or two ago, and it was claimed
that a small improvement that oould be
made easily would make It an entirely satis
factory machine. But that lmpiovement
was never made. At least it was never an
nounced that the machine was perfected
and would do the work required of it.
A groat fortune awaits tbs man who in
vents a machine that will pick cotton with
out wasting cotton or injuring the green
bolls, and that will, at the same time,
effect a great saving in harvesting the cot
ton crop. Cotton growers are eagerly
waiting for such a machine.
A year or two ago there was much talk
about cultivating jute In the south. It was
well understood that it would pay to culti
vate jute provided a machine should be in
vented by which the fiber could be removed
from the stalk cheaply. A number of
machines were invented, and several of
them ware placed upon the market. No
oue of them, hvwsver, would answer the
purpose for which it was intended. The
consequence is that little is heard nowadays
about jute culture In the south.
Just as soon as a snooeseful ootton picker
is invented there will be a demand for it,
but there will be no demand for a machine
that will not enable a ootton grower to har
vest his crop at lest cost and to bettsr ad
vantage than by pioking from the bolls by
band.
Brazil's Unsettled Condtlon.
The situation in Braxil is rather alarm
ing. The republio has not had a fair trial
yet, and it may not have. The revolution
that has broken out may result la re-estab
lishing the monarchy. There is still a
strong sentiment in favor of the monarchy,
and it is likely to become very muoh
stronger if the revolution is not quickly
checked. All kinds of business interests
will suffer and the people will begin to
question the ability of the republic to main
tain order. What the people want is a
strong government. Disorders, disturb
ances and revolutions check prosperity.
The existing trouble grows out of differ
ences between President <l% Fonsoca and
congress. The president is a military man
and congress entertains the fear that he in
tends to declare himself dictator before the
election of a now president. He was not
chosen by the people. Congress made him
president a’mott immediately after the pres
ent constitution was adopted.
In accordance with its belief that Presi
dent da Fonseca did not intend to quietly
submit to tbe inauguration of bis successor,
congress passed a bill a few days ago outlin
ing the process of impeaching a president.
The president vetoed it. It was pnsied over
the veto- and the president dissolved con
gress, and almost immediately declared mar
tial law in Rio Janeiro aud several of the
neighboring states.
This appears to be the situation at present.
The president, it is said, has tbe solid sup
port of tho army and navy. If the senti
ment is strong against him, however, the
army and navy will not be sufficient to
keep him at the head of the government.
The fate of Balmacerfa in Chile should be a
warning to him.
Tbe governments of Central and South
American republics are not very stable.
Revolutions follow one another in pretty
quick succession in most of them. Brazil
was the last of them U> become a republic,
and it looks as if ebe would have her share
of revolutions.
•Finally the faot has dawned upon Dictator
Barillas that the newspaper is a desirable as
well as powerful institution. So he has
gracefully capitulated to the inevitable by
granting a measurable liberty to the press
and turning a number of very able journal
ists out of jail. It is rather tardy recogni
tion of sterling worth. At tbe same time it
must be very comforting to those directly
concerned. Ready it seems to make them
feel so good that they are slugging the
Gautomalan government with great en
ergy.
Reporters who questioned the aged Rev.
Dr. Scott as he passed through Chicago the
other day say that he refused to talk
further than to say that he was going
back to live with his son-in-law In the
white house aud expected to occupy what
is called “Father Dent’s room.” Ail of this
tends to indicate that the Hon. Ben is
hustling around and getting his house iu
presentable shape to make a strong scuffle
for the next presidential nomination.
At last accounts the lion. Cbauooey was
smiling the same old systematio and satis
factory smile and ominously prophesying
the political death of Gov. Hill. Every
body knows who the Hon. Cbauncay is and
everybody also knows that the Hon.
Cbaunoey’s predictions always hi{ some
thing som-wbere at some time even though
they have to wait fifty years to do it.
Since the eminent and lonely Oryptog
araist Ignatius Donnelly had his little
tournament with the St. Paul Pioneer-Ptms
in that trilling matter about a SIOO,OOO
damages be now has two ciphers. They
came to him on the rear end of that (1 00
verdict that the jury awarded him.
PERSONAL.
Emma Tstrsby has brought suit against the
trustees oTthe Western Wasnirgton Industrial
Exposition Company to recover $5,090 dam
ages for alleged breach of contract.
Timothy Horaivs has shaken the dust of
Boston off his feet and U cow arranging for his
departure for Nan Francisco. Mrs. Hopkins
and his lawyer wo. accompany him.
J. Fekrxr Lee. secretary of the American
legation at Rio Janeiro. Brazil, has arrived in
Baltitnore on a sixty-day b-ava. He is accomp
anied by his wife, son and two daughters.
Samuxl H. Ixesn-ou. of Minnesota met bis
twin brother, John 8.. at Nutley, Dak., the
other day. They are 75 years old. and had not
seen each other for thirty Wires years.
Mna. Ameue Rives Ghardlee Is painting
landscape* in the beautiful country around her
father s estate of i astle HiU. Va.
Had it not been for the friendship of M.
Dalton, probably the artist,Gustave Dore.would
never have been included on the list of the
Knights of the Legion of Honor.
Little (Ji xcr VTii belmiha of Holland has an
income of 600.000 guilders, or about 3250,000.
Her reign will begin Aug. 13. 1898, when she
will have attained the age of 18.
Arthur Balto 1 h. the new leader of the
British parliament, is a thorough tory, cool,
reticent, self possessed, plucky, full of facts,
ready in debate, c mpiete master of himself
and the situation. Besides, he can play golf
like fury and is a bachelor.
Nathah Harris of Rich Valley, Va.. has a
daughter 18 years dd. who is only two feet ten
inches in hight and weighs just forty and one
half pounds. She is well proportioned and in
telligent. and her heir sw-eps the floor whensue
stands erect. She is tho eldest of four children.
Has Rudyard Kipling a double? He is an
not;need to have arrived in New York last Mon
day on the same steamer with J. G. Bennett,
and yet the Engiis i newspapers are all filled
with accounts of his arrival in South America on
his way to visit Stevenson among the South Sea
island*.
The most curious character on the Island of
Borneo is the white Sultan or Rajah of
Sarawah. He is an Englishman, Sir Charles
Brooke, and tbe United Stales is the only nation
that recognized hi* sovereignty. He rule* over
a part of Borneo as large as Ireland, and his
subjects pay tribute to him in rice.
The story of Louise do Beaulieu is creating
quite a sensation in Paris just now. Owing to
the loss of one arm and being considered quite
an indigent, she was the other day granted a
license to .sell matches upon the streets.
Further inquiries i uto her history divulged the
fact that she had been a lady of rank and stand
ing, of great beauty and wealth.
Ox* day- in the Senate ex Senator Spoqner
was making a speech on the sugar bounty ques
tion, and all at once ever) thing grew dim before
hirn and he failed to recognize ex Senator In
ga! s. who sat very near him. He managed to
finish his speech and hurried off to consult a
doctor. Tobacco was given as the cause of his
attack, and the t w ntv cigars daily he had been
in the habit of smoking were cut off. Instantly
he began to feel batter, and to-day he is not a
smoker.
BRIGHT BITS.
Beactt— This is a nice, simple, little bonnet:
don’t you think so. .John’:
Jhe Beast—l l fc. mure than simple, my dear
It is idiotic.-&*. 7
Lincoln may not hare been a spiritualist, but
no one will dispute the assertion that he at
tended many cabinet Meetings.— Rochester
Pest-Hero ess.
Paovaasoß or History— What do you know
about Louis XlV.'s time?
Jack Athletieus—Nothing, sir; I never knew
he was a sprinter.— tjermantonm Telegraph,
Little Bobby— Your new brother is awful
little.
Little Harry doftliy)—O, he’ll be bigger yet!
We are getting him on the installment plan.
Pack.
Some of tbe admirers of Mary Anderson-
Navarro are complaining because she will not
return to the prof-ssion she adorned. These
people evidently look upon Mr. Navarro as a
stage robber.— Boston Fort.
Jimmy—Pa. I wish 1 could be a pirate and sail
the Bp&nisti main aud scuttle ships.
Mr. Boeimp—Weil, you just take this seuttle
and sail down cellar and pirate some coal from
Smith's bin
First Passemumb-WTio is that man three
seats forward, who coughs so much?
Seconfl Passenger —Judging by the way he
clings to his grip, he is a traveler for a whole
sale diamond house.—Jeweller's Weekly
McJcnkin (in the barber's cnalr)—lxiok here,
you butcher, you've cut a piece out of my left
ear!
Barber -Yes, sir, I see; but I'll cut a piece
just like it out of your right ear, sir. and thus
make them uniform.— Harper's Bazar.
"Good-nicht!” she said; and laid her head
Upon his manly breast;
And he. accepted, homeward turned,
His soul w ith joy possessed.
He fancied still above his heait
lie felt that cheek so fair:
On hanging up his coat he fouud
its ghostly imprint tfidroi— Puck.
Wetthedcst (a few years heuce)—Good
morning, Mr. Tiller. Any tiling in my line to
day? 1 have brought my balloons and ex
plosives along.
Mr. Tiller i American farmer)—Well, I dunno.
What’s the price of rain, now?— hew York
Weekly.
Lawter—Now, Sir Witness, I want you to tell
the truth without any evaiion. Had you, or
had you not had any altercation with the pris
oner before this event you speak of?
Witness- Well, to own up, we did go into
the bar and take something. but I don't think
that was the name of it.— Boston Courier-Jour
nal.
51 rs. 11.-1 called to see the new w ater hack to
your range f want one, and George told me to
took at your's.
51rs. J.—We have no water-back in our
range.
Mrs. 1! -Whv. your husband told George that
you kept him In hot water all the time now.—
Boston Buil ret.
"Is there a resident of Paterson in this
oar? ” shouted an excited passenger, poking hts
head in the smoking-car door.”
"I am one," said Barkitis. rising from his
seal “What is wanted?”
“1 have here the full and complete history of
Paterson, New Jersey. Seven volumes. For
sale only by subscription But his words were
unavailing Barkms had leai>ed from the
train.— Harper's Bazar.
CURRSSNJT COMMBNT.
“Fixln’ to Get Full."
From the Bangor Commercial (Rep.).
According to the old almanacs tbe new moon
thal was burn Sunday wi;l be caiied the "Hunt
ers’ moon” when it gets full grown.
Ticks Like a Country Tailor.
From Ijondtn Tid Bits (Hum.).
An ordinary watch gives 116,144.000 ticks
during a year providing, of course, that it is
kept going all the time. The inf. rmatlon is
furnished so that the curious may not bothsr to
count the ticks.
Death Made Delicious.
From the Chicago Post ( Dem.).
The doctors are always making people feel
uncomfortable. It is now reported that al or
lin physician has discovered that twenty-two
different species of bacteria find a lodgment in
the human mouth. Two to one ho is a dried-up
old bachelor who does not know the luxury of a
kiss.
Father Preston.
From the .Veto York Recorder l Rev.).
The death of Thomas 8 Preston lias deprived
the metropolis of a cltisen notable for ability
and devotion to the interests of his country no
less than to those of the religious communion
in the service of which the years of his maturity
were spent. Positive in all things, but subor
dinating individuality to duty, he was a type of
the zealot on the behalf of any- cause he
espoused.
Brokers Broke the Bank.
From the Boston Transcript (Ind).
The lesson of the disaster is so obvious that
at first glance comment might seeui unneces
sary. But the sad financial experience of re
cent years has shown that, obvious as the lesson
is, it is only learned, when it is learned at ail,
bv constant Iteration. The reputation of bank
ing as one of the safest businesses is to bo
earned only by living up to the traditions of its
most conservative times. When that tradition
was formed it was not expected that a ba-k
would be a broker’s shop or the cover of a
partnership in the speculative stock market;
and the exceptions, like that which now excites
Boston, oely prove the rule that banking, to be
safe, must be bunking first and last and ail tbe
time, and not banking incidental to specula
tion.
Spckale is a Slugger.
The social an* living headquarters of the
al. statesmen is a fine old mansion.
It stands high on Thirteenth and K
streets, Washington, I>. C. The fine
old mansion has become a boarding
house, but has some very good neighbors.
Warm nights the alliance statesmen, when they
are in town, gather on the lawn In front of their
big boarding house*, and the voices of
Peffer, Jerry Simpson and Polk, as they
wax warm over questions of "fee
nance," are wafted right into the open win
dows of Senator Sherman's library. Some
time* case* of state are thrown aside and tLe
alliance leaders tell stories The other night a
newcomer from Kansas entertained the crowd
with a story of Jerry Simpson's capabilities
with his duke*. Said be:
‘ ‘Jerry wae a candidate for the legislature be
fore alliance days and wa* beat**. The day
after election ne came into Medicine Lodge.
The fellows who had earned the oounty put
their heads together and set up a job to run it
in on Jerry. They hired an old fellow to toll
the market bell, which was heisted on a pole
about forty feet in tbe air. Every time the
bell tolled the ringer wauid shout at tha top
of his voice. 'Jerry Simpson is dead.'
Everybody but Jerry and his friends
thought this was a good joke and
laughed loud and long. Jerry stood around and
didn't say much. After awhile the tolling be
gan to grow monotonous. The victors put for
ward a big blacksmith to start an argument
w. Jerry and see if he coulda tbe 'riled.' The
blacksmith made a numberof ride remarks, but
Jerry was silent. At length the bul.y. address
ing himself directly to Jsrrv.aaid: 'You and
your lazy crowd had better atop talking
about high taxes and hard times and go to
work.’
“That was enough. Jerry looked the black
smith square in the eyes and retorted: 'You
are the laat man who ought to say anything
about other people going to work. I knew you
when a decent dog wou! In't louk at you. I
gave you 32 once to keep you out of the poor
house.' It was true that Jerry hid loaned
the blacksmith the money Tne black
smith was shut up. He rushed off. got
a couple of dollars from somebody, and un
mediately tendered it. ‘No.’ said Jerry. 'I
gave you the money for charity, and 1 never
take that back.* This made the blacksmith
blazing mad. He doubled his flat and made a
rush for Jerry, who parried the blow, stuck out
bis foot, and tripped tho fighter. Before the
blacksmith could recover Jerry was on him
pounding and Kicking without scien *e but with
paralyzing effectiveness Ihe blacksmith did
not try to get up; he just scrambled awa.
on his hands and feet through the crowd
until some of his friends pulled off
Jerry. Then he started down the street
on the run. As the hlacksm'th passed the mar
ket house he heard the old fellow shout: 'Jerry
Simpson is dead?’ ‘Not hy a sight ." ihe
blacksmith shouted back, and kept on. Mean
time Jer y was hitting aud kicking right and
left Ho had as many as four men on the side
walk at once. Tbe caowd scattered, and as
some of the fugitives went by the market house
thsy told the bellringer what had happened,
and he too joined n the stampede. Jerry didn't
stop fighting as long as there was a man to
st ud up against him There isn’t much sci
ence in Jerry's fighting, but for a rough and
tumble he's the best man in Medicine Lodge."
He Knew His Business.
“Churn-dog” stories are always in order. A
city man who used to live on a farm, as so
many city men did when they were boys, sends
this, says forest and Stream: At home on the
farm we had a number of cows, so many that
churning was too heavy a task for even the
men lolks, so Mr. L. rigged up a dog-churn, an
inclined wheel, a sort of a canine tread-mill.
It became the duty of Ponto, a large white
mastiff, to tread that monotonous cvcle. and
notwithstanding the toothsome bit'of meat
that was fastened on a lath within four inches
of his nose, he was not at ail proud of his posi
tion and responsibility.
Ho made several attempts to shirk his task,
and twice succeeded. He got to know w hen
churning day came around as well as any one
in the house.
On the morning of that day he would loiter
about the kitchen door until be was fed. aud as
soon as he heard the note of preparation* the
bringing of tbe cream jugs, preparing churn,
etc. -he would put for the woods and would not
be seen again until night
The day of churning was changed, and next
morning a more crest-fallen and astonished dog
was never seen w.ien he was collared aud har
nessed to the beam which set the dash in motion;
he looked positively foolish.
He did his work, but with lowered head and in
cogitation evidently. On another occasion he
tried another dodge. When they were about io
put him on the wheel he ran up to his mistress,
holding up one paw*affecting to be iarae.
She thought much of the dog and was in
clined to let him off that day. The next in
stant he was seen charging over a high fence
after a neighbor’s cats. “Well,’’ said the old
lady, “if he can go after a eat like that he is
able to ohurn,” And he did, and never tried to
shirk bis work again
What He Was Talking About.
An observing old gentleman |was once travel
ing on a steamboat up the Hudson river.
Presently he happened to see a queerly shaped
boat near the opposite bank.
“Hello, Gap”’ he called out. “That looks
like a Nile boat, doesn’t it?”
"it is an lie boat, sir,” replied tbe captain.
“Nonsense!” said the old gentleman, testily.
“What would a Nile boat be doing ou the North
river? But it looks exactly like one
“I tell you it is an ile boat,’’ said the cap
taiu again.
‘And 1 tell you you don't know what you are
talking about,” replied the old gentlemen, de
cidedly. “How could a Nile boat get here?
And what do you knew about Nile boats, any
how?” a writer in Harper's Young People re
marks.
These insinuations were too much for tbs
captain He got angry.
"I guess I know as much about river boats as
any man ou the Hudson!” he cried, indignantly.
■‘Them i e boats has been goiu’ around and up
down for six years, ever since the ile factories
was built about here! Not know an ile boat—
Hugh!”
And alter that the old gentleman said no
more.
Tha Return of Jim.
From the Kansas City .Journal (Rep.).
Have you noticed that there’s something circu
lating in the air
That is bracing, and displacing all the microbes
Of despair?
Have yen noticed in the trade reports so lately
very slow
That the figure now is bigger than It was a
month ago?
Have you noticed that the Stars aud Stripes the
autumn breezes crack
Somewhat louder and much prouder
Now that Jim’s got back?
Have you noticed out in Kansas how the boys
are falling in'
How the growlers’ and the howlers’ ranks are
growing very thin?
Have you noticed how the Kansas porkers
proudly curls their tails,
As though to try to give the lie to demagogic
wails?
Have you noticed how the wheat and corn and
fodder in the stack
Are what you terra extremely firm
Since Jim's got back?
Have you nr.tic id down in Chile that they’re
lying very low;
That bis skluny mbs Kudini plays in pianis
simo?
Have you seen tbe brown plush muffle on the
British lion's roar?
Though soft as seal, it is not real, and hides an
ugly sore.
But you'll notice that your Uncle Sam’s not tak
ing any slack
From any one-horse power throne
Since Jim's got back.
Republicans and democrats rejoice to see old
Jim;
He has a way. you can’t gainsay; we are all
proud of him.
The Massachusetts yankee and the planter
“down Mobile”
In old Jim Blaine are joined again and royal
glory feel
In living in a nation that can give the world a
whack;
For Uncle Sam won’t care a cent
Since Jim’s got back.
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ITEM 3 OF INTEREST. w
The earliest coin for American use was made
about 1812, and bore as a design the picture of
a hog.
A NEW method of obtaining light has just
been patented in England, Instead of the old
fashioned safety match the stick is tipped st
both ends one end with the usual composition
and the other with that found on ti e sera cher
outside the box. Light is obtained by breaking
the match in the middle and rubbing the two
ends together.
Every kind of business has Its disappoint
ments. One night last week Pennsylvania
burglars broke into tbe Rochester housef at
Ridgway, loaded the proprietor’s safe in a car
riage and drove off witn it. When they had
hauled the safe a half mile irom the house and
bruke it opeu they fiAmd in it a bundle of worn
out board bills and a copy of the St. Mary's
Gazette, but no money.
A remarkable w tattler change Is reported to
have occurred at Orenburg, Russia, on Nov. 19,
1899. After a temperature of 36 with heavy
rain there was a fall of 16“ below zero in *>
minutes. Borne thirty Kirghises who were re
turning to Orenburg were drenched with the
rain, then frozen on their horses. Ten of them
had been found and tbe others were being
sought for. Many dorses and other animals
succumbed to the cold.
For the purpose of continuing the publishing
business of her dec-ased husband. Mrs. Florence
M. Wilde was granted by Judge B.iokstaver of
the court of common pleas, permission to “re
assume the well known cognomen of her former
husband. Frank Leslie.'’ Mrs. Wilde said in her
petition that she i* "21 years of age and up
ward;'' that the names of her father and mother
were C Toulin and Susan Daut'ortb, and that
she was born in New Orleans.
Savage or half-oivili zed princes often prefer
death to exile in a foreign country. Malietoa,
the king of Samoa, jumped overboard when th ■
Germans took him to tbe Gilbert islands, aud
wns not rescued with his own con ent. Three
chiefs of the Comoro islands, off tue Fast Af
rica i coast, were takeD away from home three
months ago on account of t le revolution which
they head and against the French. They were
very unhappy on board ship, and when the ship
reached Obock" they tried to jump overboard
and were placed in Irons to prevent further
suicidal attempts.
The conditio** of warfare have been so rad
ically changed by smokeless powder and maga
zine rifles, effective at a mile and a half, that
European governments are seeking for devices
that will afford prot ctiou to soldiers. Austria
and France are experimenting with shields for
this purpose. A committee of the French war
office has reported in’favor of a bucul-rof alum
inum aid copper They think tnat a shield cau
he made out of this com" filiation light enough
to be carried without serious difficulty anil
strong enough to Stoll even the moderate rifle
bullet, except at very close quarters.
The congregation of a Utica church were
treated to an innocent yet amusing occurrence
at a recent service, according to the Observer.
The clergyman, who was preaching on the sub
ject or marrisgs, drew- a picture of a Christian
home, where love and trust and confidence aud
peace ever found an abiding place, aud then
asked If everybody would not be happy to ba
thus happily married. At that vary moment a
confirmed bachelor in the congregation was
seen to slowly and de Iberately rise. People
thought he was about to speak, and there were
a dozen pretty maidens in the congregation who
would have been glad to have him. He did not
speak, however, but merely removed his over
coat, for rise room had grown too warm for
him.
“What will Mrs. Grundy sav?” is an expres
sion covering the feverish desire to know what
other people may think or say about ns, es
pecially In connection with the proprieties of
life, says the Philadelphia Ledger. There are
some who suppose that such a dame as Mrs
Grundy really existed, whereas she was a mere
myth like Domini ' Sampson, Pickwick, Micaw
ber and Bei :ky Sharp. The expression occurs
in Morton’s comedy of “Speed the Plow,” writ
ten In 1798. In the play Farmer Ashflsld suddenly
turns upon his good dame, after being vexed at
her frequent allusions to Mrs Grundy, with the
exclamation: “Be quiet, wool ye? Always ding
dougieg Dame Grundy into my ears. What
will Mrs. Grundv say? What will Mrs. Grundy
think? Cans’t thee be quiet, let us alone, and
behave thysel’, pratty?” The constant repeti
tion of tho one odd phrase caught the ear of
the public aud has held it ever since.
The following sarcasm against episcopal
worldliness might have proceeded from an
English wit: lav Mothe d’Orleans, Bishop of
Amiens, was in attendance, witd several other
prelates, on Mine. Louise de la Valliere, some
time after that princess had taken her vows.
The prelate stood apart, and, apparently, took
no Intorest in the conversation. At length Mme.
Louise asked him of what he was thinking
“Madame,” he replied, “I dreamed that I was
in Paradise, and that someone having knocked
at the gate, St. Peter asked who it was. ’A
Carmelite. ‘Let her enter. ’ A few momems
and there was another knock—the same in
quiry, the same reply. Then came a third rap
ping: ’Who is that?’ ‘A Carmelite.’ ’All, good
heavens, nobody comes here but Carmelites”
After a wtiiie tin-re was a fourth summons at
the gate, ’ls that another Carmelite?’ ’No.
your saintshlp. 'tis a bishop.’ ‘Ab, ah.’ said St.
Peter, ’he i, welcome, for ’tis centuries since a
bishop passed this way!’ ”
Tbe time has been when a criminal felt him
self to be safe and among friends as soon a$ he
stepped over the state boundary of Texas. Not
so now, for in many counties the authorities
keep one or more paoxs of bloodhounds to hunt
down murderers, horse thieves and tbe worst
offenders against public morals. Travis county,
for Instance, has four of thesn animals. They
have often beeu set on the trail of fugitives,
aud never have failed to bring their human
victims to bay. The use of the dogs has made
the county a quiet place to live in. Texaa,
thanks to Gov. Hogg’s fearless ail min,at rat ion,
now bids fair to become as orderly as Rhode
Island. Recently, when a miscarriage of
Justice threatened in the case of a mankiller on
trial for shooting an unarmed editor
iu cold blood, the governor said, with his char
acteristic energy: “There is $1,003,00:) lying idle
in the treasury of Texas, and I intend to see
that the laws of this state ara euforoid if I
have to spend every dollar of it ” The governor
showed that he was in earnest by telegraphing
the judge to stop proceedings until an able
prosecuting officer could be sent down. On an
other occasion, whon a mob hud hanged a ne
gro, Gov. H gg offered a reward of SI,OOO for
the arrest of every man who had been con
cerned in the affair. There has not been a
lynching in Texas since. The governor also
wars on the practice of carrying concealed
weapons. And yet no longer ago than 1868
there were 741 murders In Texas in one year.
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BOOMS 60c. 750, $1 per day, each person ■ _
npO COUNTY OFFICERS.—Books and HlM**
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Whitaker sttwM, eavasnfc.
