Newspaper Page Text
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Morning News Building Savannah, Ga.
WEDNESDAY, NOV'. 25, lSfll.
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■ MACON
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INDEX TO m ADVERTISEMENTS.
Meeting— Of Those Interested in the Pro
posed Public Road to Isle of Hope.
Military Order— Order No. 46, Georgia
Hussars.
Special Notices—As to Bills Against British
Steamship Iran; Turkeys and Kalamazoo Celery
at John Lyons * Co.’s; Live Oak Lodge No. 3,
I. O. O. F.; Services at Evangelical Lutheran
Church Thanksgiving Day.
amusement —Mr. Frederick W&rde at Theatre
Nov. 27-38.
Steamship Schedule—General Transatlantic
Company
Be Sure and Get in Your Guess— Appel &
Schaul. •
Auction Sale— The Sale of Furniture by R.
H Tatem, Auctioneer.
Our Great Devastation Bale— At Alt
xnayer’a.
Three Grades or Collars—The Falk Cloth
ing Company.
Two Bicycles on Sale—At A. M. A C. W.
West's.
Cheap Column Advertisements Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For
Bale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
ft is now time for the turkey gobbler to
begin to sing “I would not live ulway.”
About this time o’ year tbe bad small boy
grows so absolutely saintly to gate upon
that be actually looks as if be would not
say turkey for a barrel fuli of them. Cran
berry pie is a-comin’.
Nominally Minneapolis gets the republi
can national convention. Yet Bt. Paul will
probably receive moro advantage from it
than the other twin.
Figuring on a presidential result similar
to that of 1888 is all well enough. It may
afford the republican calculators much
satisfaction. But realizing on the figures
afterward is quite another thing.
Separate caucussing at Washington by
the alliance members is not likely to mate
rially affect the vote of Judge Crisp. All of
the Georgia alliance members were elected
to congress as democrats, and are not sub
ject to such an arrangement.
Because tbe supreme council of the farm
ers' alliance at Indianapolis adopted a reso
lution bestowing a vote of confidence upon
Dr. Macune It is by no means certain that
general confidence in the thrifty doctor will
be fully restored throughout the agri
cultural districts.
When the Rev. Dr. Boring committed
suicide in Chicago tbe other day the looal
papers announced that he bad preached in
the hog metropolis for forty years. Forty
years of Boring must have had a tendency
to render death something of a relief to
even himself—to say nothing of the patient
congregation.
Democratic declarations of a concerted
(Intention to nominate Mr. Cleveland with
or without the approval of his own state are
•pronounced by the republican newspapers to
be “political idolatry.” At the tame time
they should not forget that it also constitutes
unusually great political strength. Even
the republican blind devotion to Blaine
oould scarcely sustain their hope to elect the
alleged “white plumed knight” against such
a general uprising.
Without an effort Chicago stood far
ahead of New York in the balloting for a
choice of cities in which to bold the repub
lican national convention—notwithstand
ing the strenuous exertions and vociferous
boasting of the men of Gotham. Possibly
the New York delegates were hoodooed by
the irresistible Editorial Freak Shepard.
That is about the only plausible way of ac
counting for the positively laughable way
in which they were so completely “lost in
the shuffle” as it were.
When Insurance Agent Wright decided
to kill himself in Brooklyn the other day he
went to the house of his father and left a
note for the old gentlemau bidding him
good-by and declaring his intention to die.
Notwithstanding that the father got the
cote and immediat.-ly attempted to dissuade
his son from the fatal resolve the latter
calmly drew a revolver and proceeded to
blow out his brains while the virtually par
alyzed parent stood a few feet away and
witnessed the whole operation. What oould
have caused so prosperous a man to commit
bo foolishly rash an act is beyond conjecture.
Suicidal mania appears to have taken a
firm hold upon the people of New York
lately. It seems to be growing into the
proportions of an epidemic.
They Haven’t Given TTp the Force BilL
It is evident tbst the Republican party
hasn’t abandoned the force bill. If it should
succeel in retaining control of the presi
dency end in getting control of the next
oongresr, it would revive the force bill
and pass it In bis speech before the
national executive committee of the Re
publican party in Washington Monday, ad
vocating Cincinnati as the place for holding
the national republican convention. Gov.-
elect McKinley of Ohio said that the Re
: publican party had made a mistake in not
1 paying more attention to the “republican
states’’ of the south. He wanted the national
j convention held in Cincinnati, so that
1 those southern “republican states” would
!be put in touch with it. He declared that
the Republican party was united on “the
question of insisting that every citizen of
the country should have the right to VfMe
and have his vote counted.” “That,” he
he eaid, “was one of the great cardinal
principles of the Republican party that
should never be forgotten, and no repub
lican speech should ever be made in any part
of the union that did not Insist upon the
recognition of that conetitutional right of
suffrage in every section and corner of the
land.” The hearty applause which greeted
Maj. McKinley’s remarks shows that the
Republican party would bring forward
the force bill again if it should ever be in
a position to do so.
Mr. Fassett, the republican candidate for
governor of New York, who was so over
whelmingly defeated by Mr. Flower, said
a few days after the election that he fa
vored a law compelling every voter to cast
his ballot. Should the force bill be revived,
a provision would be inserted in it probably
that would enable the Republican party to
organize the blacks in all the southern
states and coerce them into voting the re
publican ticket.
When the force bill was defeated in the
last congress it was quite generally thought
to be dead beyond resurrection. The repub
lican leaders, however, do not so regard it.
They believe they see in it the means cf
greatly strengthening their party. They are
as firmly wedded to it as they are to the
doctrine of protection.
The southern people, therefore, cannot
afford to give any encouragement to a third
party. They must stand together in the
ranks of the Democratic party. Unless
they do so they will open the way for a very
disastrous condition of affairs in the south.
The third party men in the south pretend
that there is no danger to the south in a
third party. They either have not given
the matter the careful consideration to
which it is entitled, or else they are so eager
to advance their personal interests through
the third party movement that they don’t
care whether the south would be injured by
such a party or not. But the south should
be warned by Maj. McKinley's Washington
speech. He is one of the most prominent
of the republican lenders, and he knows
their purpose*. That the Republican party
would revive and pass the force bill if it
should ever get a chance to do so there is
□o doubt, and it would do so not because it
believes the blacks are not free to vote as they
please, but beoause they think they oould
place several southern states in the repub
lican column by means of the black vote.
Georgia and the World’s Fair.
Practically nothing is being done by the
people of Georgia toward having their
state represented at the world's fair. It
must be said in justice to the commissioners
for the state that they have done all they
oan to induce the people to take an in
terest in the fair and prepare an exhibit, but
they have met with little or no encourage
ment. They have hod favorable responses
to their suggestions and appeals, but noth -
ing has been done, and from present indica
tions nothing will be done.
No doubt the railroads would be willing to
contribute liberally, and it is probable that
the trade bodies, the manufacturing enter
prises and the agricultural associations
would lend a helping hand, but they will do
nothing until some sort of organization is
effected, and there are satisfactory evi
dences that an earnest effort is to be made to
get up an exhibit worthy of the state.
Nothing can be done, however, without
money. But where is the money to come
from? There are very few who would con
tribute more than a few dollars unless they
would be benefited by having Georgia
represented at the fair. And they would
contribute nothing at all unless they could
be assured that the exhibit would be one of
which Georgians would not be ashamed.
It has been suggested that at the approach
ing gathering of the newspaper, editors of the
state at Macon some plan might be devised
for raising a sufficient amount to justify
beginning the work of collecting articles for
an exhibit. The suggestion seems to be a
good one. It ought at least to be acted
upon.
Georgia is the Empire state of the south.
She is making rapid progress in prosperity
and material wealth, and she oannot afford
to have it said that her people were not en
terprising enough to take part in the fair.
Thousands of Georgians will visit the fair,
and if they see there no exhibit from Geor
gia their pride will be wounded and they
will feel that their state is falling behind in
the race for prosperity.
If an earnest effort should be made to
arouse interest in the fair it is more than
probable that an exhibit oould be collected
that would save the state from the charge
of laoklng in enterprise.
Out in South Dakota the important ques
tion whethor or not an Indian can be a legal
bondsman (cr another recently came up in
the United States district court at Pierre
In the trial of one “Touched” for an at
tempted murder of Wooden Horn. Ac
cording to his ruling Judge Edgerou is of
the opinion that an Indian is not a legal
mac for the reason that he is a ward of the
government and not a citizen. Consequently
he is held to be subject to the consent of tho
government even in the disposition of the
live stock he may own. Yet our national
constitution emphatically declares that “we
hold to be self-evident" that “all men are
born free and equal." By amendment this
Is averred to “without regard to race, color
or previous condition.” Possibly Judge
Edgeron knows so very much law that he
bad foreotten these trivial particulars in
the foundation of our government.
Not long ago a Staten Island girl of 18
married a lad of 15 and thereby probably
subjected herself to the New York law for
abduction. But the boy’s parents seem to
have contented themselves with “cutting up
rough” about it and threatening to put him
in an insane asylum. Meanwhile Alfonzo’s
buxom bride appears to be putting In her
leisure time “wondering if the kid’s mamma
spanked him and put him to bed." Appar
ently she is not by any means frantic about
him. Probably she thinks that a little time
to grow will do him good. But their respect
ive paten ore having a red-tig* row over it.
THE MORNING NEWS: WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 1891.
Fonseca’s Dictatorship Ended-
Gen. Fonseca does not seem to have un
derstood the temper of the people of Braxil.
He wasihiefiy instrumental in overthrow
ing the government of Dom Pedro, and,
having >ucoeeded in making himself presi
dent of the republio that was established
up m the ruins of the monarchy, be thought
he could make himself dictator. Hs was
not long in finding out that he had made a
mistake. He had no sooner begun to play
the part of dictator than there were
signs of discontent. Having the army and
navy at his command, and believing they
were loyal to him and would support him in
whatever course he might adopt, he re
fused to be warned by the protesta of the
people.
It was not long before he had a revolt of
immense proportions to deal with. One of
the strophes! Of the states refused to
acknowledge hisauthority, and set up a gov
ernment of its own. Soon it was joined by
several other states, and the revolutionists
quickly collected an army of 50,000 men.
Still Dictator Fonseca thought he was mas
ter of the situation. He did not, however,
understand how strong the feeling against
him in Rio Janeiro was, nor how indiffer
ent to his interests the army and navy were.
But when he was informed by some of
his officers that the people of Rio
Janeiro wore ready to rise in arms against
bis government and that the sympathies of
the army and navy were with the revolu
tionists be saw that the end of his publio
career was close at hand. Avery mild
demonstration in Rio Janeiro was sufficient
to make him resign the presidency. In his
proclamation, announcing bis resignation,
he declared that his purpose was to save the
country from the horrors of civil war. But
it is more than probable that he would have
held on to Lis office had he believed he could
successfully resist the revolutionists. His
attempt to make himself dictator shows that
he cared very little for the welfare of the
country.
Had he been a patriot, sincerely
of establishing the republic upon a firm and
lasting basis, he would have endeavored to
strengthen the new government by con
stitutional methods. He would have striven
to make the republio acceptable to those
who were hostile to it. Instead of doing
that ho assumed the powers of a dictator.
He dissolved congress, postponed the time
for holding the general eleotions, changed
the constitution so as to enlarge his powers
and lessen those of congress, reduced con
gressional representation, suppressed news
papers and shut up printing offices.
The people wouldn’t submit to having
their liberties taken from them in that way,
nor, in fact, in any way. They had got rid
of an emperor, and they didn’t Intend to
have a dictator. They spoke foroibly to
Dictator Fonseca and told him that if he
did not retire from offioe at once they would
make him do so. They intimated that they
had deposed Dom Pedro for the purpose of
having a republic, and a republio they in
sisted upon. It it probable that very little
more will be heard from Gen. Fonseca. He
has become a back number.
If the men who are now at the head of
affairs are true to the republio it is proba
ble that there will be no more trouble at
the present time. The men who started
the revolution in Rio Grande do Sul say
that their only objeot in rising in revolt
was to save the republic. That being the
cose the revolutionists, after having re
ceived assuranoes that those now at the
head of the government will respect the
constitution, will retire to their homee and
resume their respective occupations. But
it is safe to predict that there will be a
great deal more friction and perhaps other
disturbances of greater or less proportions
before the new government will have passed
the danger line.
Galveston Lends a Helping Hand.
Galveston is willing to do all she can to
assist the movement in behalf of deeper
water in Savannah harbor. More than a
week ago her city council adopted a resolu
tion requesting her representatives in the
legislature to urge that body to favor tho
deeper water movement at Savannah, and
asking the Texas congressmen to lend the
movement a helping hand. The city ooun
cil of this city does not seem to have been
notified of the action of Galveston’s oounoiL
In view of the fact that congress gave to
Galveston for her harbor just the kind of
help that is being asked for Savannah har
bor the influence of Galveston and the Texas
congressmen is likely to be beneficial to the
deeper water movement here. Geor
gia helped to get the lump ap
propriation for Galveston harbor,
and Galveston naturally feels grateful.
In fact, the whole state of Texas, being in
terested in Galveston harbor, appreciates
the efforts of Georgia to secure deeper wa
ter in Galveston harbor, and it is therefore
reasonable to expect that whatever Texas
and her congressional delegation can do to
aid Savannah they will do.
The prospect that Savannah will get what
she wants is certainly very promising. She
will have the assistance of the west and
south, aud that ought to be sufficient to in
duce congress to make an appropriation
that will give Savannah a 26-foot channel
to the sea within the next three years. The
improvement which has been begun to se
cure such a channel can be completed within
that time, provided enough money is appro
priated in a lump sum to carry on work
continuously ad with as large a force as
can be used with advantage.
Savaonah is making a vigorous effort,
and, there is reason to believe, the right
kind of a one, in behalf of what she wants.
If she doesn’t succeed it will not be her
fault.
As animated advertisements the adminis
tration people are simply immense. Re
cently Mrs. Russ Harrison visited an lowa
cousin by tho name of Bowman at the town
of Mount Pleasant, and here is the way
that thrifty relative proceeds to advertise
her business in the local paper presumably
to get the worth of her keep from the pres
enceof the “distinguished lady”: “President
Harrison’s sou’s wife is passing a few days
at J. C. Bowman’s, and will be pleased to
see the Mount Pleasant people. Everybody
cordially invited to call at their novelty
store and meet this distinguished lady.” If
the Hon. Ben’s family and friends don’t get
thoioughly rich it will certainly not be be
cause they have not tried to turn a thrifty
penny and work the presidential office for
all it was worth. This sort of thing is be
coming really nauseating.
Judoe (to a very homely old maid)—Miss, in
what year were you born?
Witness -In the year 1866.
Judge—Before or after Christ?— Texai Sift
ing.
“Tuey must have mighty queer people in
New York,” observed Col. Blue grass of Ken
tucky.
“Why so?" asked Mr. Dukaoe of Pittsburg
“They are complaining of a water famine.
JPitlebuta ChumieU-Xeieanqjlk.
PERBONAI*: t
John G. Whittier will be M years of age on
Dec. 17. -
Mas. Logan has become a good writer, and
her literary ventures are prosperous.
Rev. Arthur Bell Nichols, the husband of
Charlotte Bronte, Is still living, the pastor of e
small church in Ireland.
A nxw s<lVel, called “A Widower Indeed,”
bv the popular English author, Khoda Brough
ton, written in collaboration with hiss Elizabeth
bisland. Is shortly to be published
Gen. Samuil Smith of Baltimore bad the
longest congressional career on record in this
country, being continuously in congress for
forty years either ae senator or representative.
Miss Mary Smith of \Vhite3burg, Ua . is the
proud possessor of a bsdquilt quilted over 100
years ago by Miss Taylor, s niece of Gen. Zash
ary Taylor, who pioked and spun the cotton of
which It is made.
The engagement is announced of Miss Fan
nie Bostwick of New York, daughter of Jabez
H. Bo*wick, of the Standard Oil Company, to
(Apt. Albert J. Carstaini, of the Royal Irish
Rifles, now stationed at Malta.
Rev. Charles Follen Lee, for thirteen years
pastor of the First Universalist church of
Charleston, Mass., has withdrawn from that
l>ody, and has been confirmed by Bishop
Brooks as an Episcopalian minister.
Mrs. Mary Anders"- Navabro is not writing
a book, as has been reported. Her step-father.
Dr. Hamilton Griffin, says that she was offered
$10,00) not long ago for a 38-column love story,
but be had no idea she would accept it.
Ex Minister Palmer, president of the world’s
fair, has a farm near Detroit which be makes
his summer home On it is an artistic old
cabin, which Mr. Palmer has filled with
antique furniture and rugs and bric-a-brao.
Edgar Allen Poe, formerly conspicuous as
a foot ball player at Princeton College, and now
a law student at Baltimore, is an earnest
worker in the Young Men’s Christian Asso
ciation. He declares that many Princeton foot
ball p ayers have become ministers.
Dr. Gatling says bis famous gun should be
regarded as a philanthropic invention, for it
has saved no end of lives by scaring riotous
people into submission So he calls the deadly
gnn "the peacemaker " Tbe doctor is getting
H, but he is still a handsome man and in
robust health.
Count Herbert Bismarck, who is at present
in London, accompanied by Sir John E. Gorst,
the newly appointed financial secretary of the
treasury, attended the session of the royal
labor commission in Westminister hall and
displayed much interest in the evidence given
by witnesses who appeared.
The oldest living college graduate is said to
be Andrew Parker, whose home is in Fitzwill
iam, N. H., the town in winch hs was born. He
is over 100 years old, and was a companion of
Lafayette during his fourth and last visit to
this country in 1824. He graduated from tbe
University of Vermont in 1813, standing second
in his class.
Hmk. Bloukt, who is now in America with
her husband, “Max O’Rell,” has bad a large
snare in creating his literary successes, and is
said by some people acquainted with both to be
more clever than her famous and witty spouse.
A good many folk will flud it very easy to be
lieve this—solely on the ground of what they
know of him.
Queen Victoria has again “derived very great
benefit from the bracing air of the Scottish
Highlands.” Her majesty has been equally
fortunate during every year during the greater
part of her life. The highland air Is very sure
to dispel any malady with which she may be
afflicted or threatened She is a firm believer
ia it. and recommends it in her "Journal in the
Highlands.”
BRIGHT BITB.
She—Did you oross the ocean last summer as
usual, Mr. Parkins?
Perkins—Yaas, twice. Onoe going and once
weturning.— Harper's Bazar.
Tom—Do you intend to make any new resolu
tions next year?
Jack— No; I intend to use toe old ones over
again.—Yankee Blade..
The Major— Why so salubrious, D'Auber?
The Painter—My paintings have just been de
clared dutiable at ths custom boune as objects
of art, oldfellowv- Pack.
Restaurant WAi-riSI (to Mr. Clover)—Ahem !
Anything, sir, for the waiter, sir?
Mr. Clover (rising from table)—Sartin, Take
all there is left; I’m stuffed.— Judge.
There are twenty-six portraits ot Columbus,
and not one ot them is a tintype. Christopher
was very cautious as to wnat kind ot art he
patronized.— Louisville Courier-Journal.
Mistress—Bridget, did you wind the clock?
Servant—l’m at tber givin’ it a couple o’ turns.
X don’t be afther windin’ it to run beyant the
time o’ me notice, mum.— Jeweler's Weekly.
“I see,” said the manager to the playwright,
“that there is a part ia this piece you call
Adam. Wno is he?”
“O, he's the first citizen, of course."— Judge.
“Which rose will you choose?” she said;
“One meaus ‘yes,’ the other ‘no."
One was white, the other red;
One meant b iss, tfie other woe.
The beating of my heart was hushed.
Aloud 1 wondered: "How the deuce
Am Ito choose aright?” She blushed.
“The one you take means ‘yes,’ you goose.”
—Tom Hall.
Penelope—lt' awfully mean of the men to
say that you are just litre us girls.
Dioky—Oh, 1 don't mind it, you know.
Penelope (quickly)—Yeg, but we do. — Brooklyn
Life.
Mrs. Hen—Why don’t you come out from
under the barn) They are throwing corn out and
all the fowls are there.
Mrs Turkey—Thanks: I am here for my
health at this time of year.—Minneapolis Jour
nal.
Dyinc, Wife-I want you to promise me that
you will marry again, John.
Husband—Do you really wish it?
Dying Wife—Yes: 1 don’t want people to say
I was the means of souring you on my sex.
Itulianaixjlus Journal.
“If you have a minute to spare,” began the
peddler, ‘1 should like ”
“Every minute of my time, sir,” said Mr.
Skinnphlint. severely, “is worth within a small
traction of four cents. Close the door as you
go out.”— Chicago Tribune.
“I used to have the sweetest, prettiest little
typewriter in the world,” he said with a sigh.
“What became of her?” inquired his sympa
thetic friend.
“O, I married her," and he sighed again
more profoundly than before.— Detroit Fre
Press.
Youno Guessnot-t-I thought you were adver
tising a great sale of popular prices?
Old Isenstein—Und so I vas.
Guessnot—Do you call these popular prices?
They're a good deal higher than they used to be.
Isenstein-Mine trie t. ven I says bobular
prices, 1 knows vat I gay; I never dry any
brices vot suits me patter.
Old Lady— No use talkin','l used to say this
higher edication of gals was all folderol; but I
see I was wrong There’s my granddarter, for
instance. She’s just a wonder.
Friend—l understand she graduated with
high honors.
Old Lady—Yes, graduated from Yassar, and
she kin do what neither her mother nor me'
could ever hope to do if our lives depended on
it.
Friend—lndeed! And wbat is that?
Old Lady—She kin tell the time a train is go
ing to start by lookin’ at a railway guide.— New
York Weekly.
OUSRHNT COMMENT.
Kansas Has Trouble !d the Kitchen.
From the Atchison (Kobe (Rep.).
The old, old story before marriage has three
words in it: "I love you.” The old, old story
after marriage has the same number, to wit:
“Wanted—A cook."
Equal Cause for syact-ment.
From the Chicago Times (Dem.\
A pension office clerk has been ejected from
office because be wrote a book of which Com
missioner Haum says: “It has not a single re
deeming feature from beginning to end." The
phrase might very properly be applied to Com
missioner Kaum’s administration, but he has
not been ejected from office.
Western lowa Girls Given a Weigh.
From the Sioux City Journal (Rep).
They had a ohuroh sooiable at California
Junction the other night, end tbe young ladles
were sold at so much per pound for the benefit
of the ohuroh. The girls were anxious to make
for the ohnroh, and several young men found
their purchases loaded down with flat irons.
One young fellow bought a little girl that ordi
narily would weigh about ninety pounds, and
was surprised to see the sqales register 275, cost
ing him about $5. The yosnjr men passed reso
-lUtiond Madeiualog list glUlot swindling.
The First Disagreement.
“If I had known, madam, that you expected
to ca’l yourself Mrs. Siodgers Barnaby ’
“Well, sir, if you bad known it, what then?"
Mr. Barnaby got up and walked the floor,
says the Chicago Sunday Tribune, with his
hands in his pockets and a cold, blighting sneer
I spreading itself over his face.
"This hyphen business.” he said is a fad,
‘Slodgers-Barnaby !* Isn’t it a lovely combina
tion?”
‘Did you expect, sir, that when I married you
I was going to sink my own individuality and
become merely an appendage of the Barnaby
family?”
"I didn't expect anything of the kind, but if
I had such a name as Siodgers, and had a good
chance to sink it. I’d sink it ”
"And if I had been born with sucb a name as
Barnaby I should never go around boasting of
It. Barnaby! Isn’t it s darting of a name:”
“You seemed willing enough to take it, any
how, madam. ’’
“And you didn't see anything wrong in the
name of Siodgers when you used to come
banging around the bouse where the Slodg
erses lived."
“That is true," assented Mr. Barnaby, mourn
fully. “I was there ass regular thing, about
three or four times a week.”
“You were.”
“And you were generally at home."
“I wat.” sighed Mrs. Slodgera Barnaby.
Mr. Barnaby continued to walk tbe floor.
“I can sea some excuse for s man parting his
name in the middle," be said, “if tbe circum
stances justify it. If my parents bad christ
ened me Epamiqondas George I should write
my name K. George Barnaby. But this hypbo
nated way of stringing out a surname I don’t go
a cent on, madam—not a cent ’’
“It needn't worry you. Siodgers Barnaby
isn't your name. You don't have to carry it.
“No.” he snorted. "I simply have to carry the
proud consciousness of being a husband of Mrs.
Slodgers-Barnaby."
“If you get tired of carrying it sir ”
“Look here. Huldah. how would you like it, ”
he broke in, “if I should go to calling myself
Mr. Barnaby Siodgers?”
"It would be your own affair. If you could
stand it I think I could worry aloDg. How
would you like it if I should insist on your
dropping tbe name of Barnaby aDd calling
yourself Mr. Siodgers
“If that were the custom I think I—ns; by
the bones of Tiglath-Pileser I couldn't go that.
I should draw toe line at Siodgers!"
“Then-—”
“Just because one of tbe women in your set
calls herself Mrs. Murgatroyd-Haggerty and
another wants everybody to speak of her as
Mrs Montmorency Snodgrass you think you
must ’’
“Roger Barnaby, have a care how you ’’
“Just because that friend of yours in the
green front on the next corner expects to go
thundering down the ages as Mrs. Chesterfield-
Barker you must ”
“Roger Barnaby,l’ll drop that hyphen and I’ll
sink the name of Sloogers that you detest so
much on one condition.”
"Name it!” exclaimed Mr. Barnaby, eagerly.
“That you quit wearing creased trousers.”
“Mrs. Barnaby, you are presuming entirely
too much on—”
“This thing of wearing creased trousers is
merely a fad. Just because Mr. Fitx-Bimper is
in the habit of wearing them you think you
must ”
“But look here! I ”
“How would you like to see me going round
with my dress creased fore and aft like a ”
“But don’t you see ”
“It’s nothing but a fad, I tell you. If Mr.
Pomeroy Cordelle, who has just come back
from Europe, with an eyeglawss and a drawl,
chooses to go tbundering down tbe ages with
a pair of creased trousers on, let him do it.
But by the bones of Tiglath Pileser, I wouldn't
"Huldah,” said Mr. Barnaby, feebly, as he
threw ud his bands and sank into tbe nearest
chair, ”1 care! You can keep your hyphen.
Siodgers-Barnaby goes!"
No Lack of Nerve.
Dinner was just finished in the mess room,
says a Calcutta paper, and several English offi
cers were sitting around the table. The con
versation had not been animated and there
came a lull, aa the night was too hot for small
talk. The major of the regiment, a ciean-cut
man of 56, turned toward hu next neighbor at
the table, a young subaltern, who was leaning
back in his chair with bis hands clasped behind
his bead, staring through toe cigar smoke at
the celling. The major was slowly looking ths
man over, from his handsome faoe down, when,
with sudden alertness and in a quiet, steady
voice be said: “Don’t move, please, Mr. Car
rutoers, 1 want to try an experiment with you.
Don't move a muscle."
“All right, major," replied the subaltern,
without even turning his eyes. “Hadn't the
least idea of moving, 1 assure you. What's the
game?"
By this time all the others were listening in a
lazily expectant way.
“Do you think," continued the major—his
voice trembled just a little—“that you can
keep abundantly still for, say, two minutes—to
save your life?”
"Are you joking?”
"On the contrary, move a muscle and you
are a dead man. Can you stand the strain?"
The subaltern barely whispered “yes,” and
his face paled slightly.
“Burke," said tbe major, addressing an
officer across the table, "pour some of tbat
milk into a saucer and set it on the floor here
just at the back of me. Gently, man. Qniet."
Not a word was spoken as the officer quietly
filled the saucer, walked with it carefully
around the table and set it down where the
major had indicated on the floor. Like a mar -
ble statue sat the young subaltern in his white
linen clotaes, while a cobra de capello, whioh
bad been crawling up the leg of bis trousers,
slowly raised its head, then turned, descended
to the floor and glided toward the milk. Sud
denly the silence was broken by toe report of
the major's revolver and the snake lay dead on
the floor.
“Thank you, major,” said the subaltern, as
tbe two men shook hands warmly, "you hare
saved my life!”
"You're welcome, my boy,” replied the senior,
"but you did your share.”
Circumstances Warranted It.
“I want to ask your advice about a novel I
am writing,” she confidently remarked before
tbe London Tid Bits, to a bookseller the other
day.
"I shall be happy to give it.”
"The hero of my story is wounded in battle
and comes home with his arm in a sling."
"That’s good.”
“My heroine meets him with great joy and he
clasps her in his arms . ”
“Perfectly proper; I’d do It myself.”
“Yes, but don't you see that one of his arms
ia in a sling? How could he clasp?”
"Tnat’s so. And you have decided he must
come wounded ?”
“He must."
“And she must be clasped?"
“She ought to be.”
“Yes, that’s o; but you must lookout for the
critics. How would it do to have her clasp
him?”
“Wouldn’t it look immodest?”
"Not under the circumstances; and you can
add a foot note that the joy of seeing him car
ried her off her balance for a moment. Yes, let
her clasp and taxe the consequences. If you get
the right kind of covers on a book you needn’t
care much about what is inside."
“Very well, iny heroine shall clasp; I thank
you; good day."
Ths Corn’s Soliloquy.
From, the Indianapolis Journal.
Talk is talk.
But it takes heat to ripen corn.
It people want corn meal,
Oorn uakes, corn dodgers,
Hasty pudding, and flapjacks.
They must sweat for them,
You cannot eat your cake,
And have it, too;
No more oan you have your corn
And not perspire.
If I can stand it. you can,
To sweat is noble, and
To perspire is divine.
But enough is enough.
And I know when I am ripe,
Though food for hogs,
I am no hog myself.
The corn crop is made.
No frost can harm and
No blight can hurt it.
TUe oorn is fully ripe.
Therefore, I am content.
Turn off the heat.
BAKING POWDKIt.
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ITEMS OF INTEREST.
Few of our native trees have odoriferous
wood like the sandal wood of the islands in the
Indian ocean; but a few of the conifer> on the
Pacific slope have sweet-scented wood*. The
fine church at Metlakatla, built by tbe civilized
Indians of Alaska, is as fragrant as if incense
was continually floating through the air, from
the wood of the great Arbor Vitas—Thuja
gigantea—of which it is built.
It is often said that the old Phoenicians dis
covered the purple dye in the murex shell by
observing a dog which had eaten one of the
mollusks, and thus colored his chops with a
rich purple satin (E. Curtius observes that the
ancients were accustomed to hunt tbe murex
by the assistance of pointer dogs). Botneof
the myths say that Heracles, by the aid of his
dog, first discovered the purple murex.
Apropes of dogs. It Is 6Aid ihat ths late Ad
miral Portal had ths yard and stables of his
house on A street Washington full of them, ac
quired in this manner: Whenever a young
naval officer wished to ingratiate himself with
the admiral he would casually remark: “Oh,
admiral, 1 have a valub e litter of puppies, and
it would give me great pleasure if you would
accept one." The admiral was fully conscious
of the raison d'etre, and when a basket ap
peared with Lieut, or Ensign So and So’s com
pliments afld a whining, flabby specimen of
puppydom therein, he would remark: “Here
comes another application for shore duty.”
The following is a comparison of the total
amount of money in the country for three
years:
Nov. 1,1891 $2,162,408,139
Nov, 1, 1890 2.117,885.574
Nov. 1, 1889 2,024,128,032
The amount of money in circulation Nov. 1,
compared with the two preceding year*, was-
Nov. 1, 1891 $1,564,492,161
Nov. 1, 1890 1.498,987.6!7
Nov. 1, 1889 1,414,121,119
Compared with last year, the amount of
money in the country has increased $44 622,585.
The amount in cireulationhas increased $65,495.-
544. Compared with Oot. 1. 1891, the money In
circulation increased $83,810,125. Tbe circula
tion per capita is now $24 23.
I was taken to visit Dore once or twice in
his Paris studio many years ago—indeed, be
fore the German Invasion, says Justin Mc-
Carthy in the New York Herald. One cf the
party who accompanied me on the first occa
sion was a clever young Englishwoman who
had a taste for painting, and who was be
ginning-just beginning—to pract c-J the art
with an encouraging promise of success. M.
Dore was working, I think, at the “Dream
of Pilate's Wife." The young lady did not
like one of his touohes, and bluntly told bim so.
Dore smiled blandly—what may you not ex
pect from an English girl? He argued tbe
point with her—she fancied that be did not
quite understand what she mant—which X
thiuk is quite possible. To my horror she sud
denly exclaimed: “Look here, this is what I
mean!”—of course, she spoke in French—and
then she seized the brush from tbe painter's
hand and proceeded to touch up after ner own
fashion that bit of tbe figure on which she
had her own yiews. Everybody was horrified—
except herself and Dore. The painter
took her movement with the most exquisite po
liteness and the greatest gravity. He studied
the picture carefully with tbe new and unex
pected touch given to it—looked at It from this
point and that, as if It were really a possible
revelation to him—and finally declared that
the young lady was perfectly right and that he
would adopt her practical suggestion. I won
der if be actually did adopt it? I should rather
think not. But whether he did or not he got us
all well out of a trouble.
One of the most thoroughly surprised men at
his own election, out of the congressional tidal
wave of last year, was Hon. Walter H. Butler
of lowa He was out of employment during
the summer and early part of the fall of that
year. He had been in correspondence with the
trustees of an educational institution at Mount
Sterling, 111., with a view to securing a position
in the faculty. The negotiations progressed
favorably and at last reached the point where
Mr. Butler wrote a letter accepting the terms
offered by the board. This he mailed and
waited for a reply. None came. Days and
-weeks slipped by and not a word was heard
from Mount Sterling. About that time the
Democratic party of his district was
looking around for some man who was
willing to be beaten for congress. One
day as Butler was walking out of the postofllce
disconsolate at tbe silence of Mount Sterling a
party leader suggested to him to make toe race
for congress. In a moment of desperation ho
oonsented. and, of course, got the nomination
for the asking. The country knows the rest.
He was elected and is now drawing $5,000 a year
and mileage. The strangest part of this story,
however, illustrating the mad pranks which
fate plays with men’s fortunes, remains to be
told. After his election Mr. Butler received
through the dead-letter office tbe letter which
he had written to toe parties in Mount Sterling,
111., but which he had mailed to Mount Sterling,
Ky. If it had reaohsd its destination he would
now be an obsoure pedagogue instead of a con
gressman with a future before him,
A South African traveler who took a ten
mile tramp one morning with Miss Olivo
Schreiner and her five dogs, has this to say
of her: "Although not an apt speaker in public
assemblies. Miss Olive Schreiner is an ani
mated conversationist, full of thoughts that
breathe and words that burn, her heart
a. low, having been set on fire by nature and
by iutense philanthropic syrapatny; her natu
ralism not spoilt by literary studies, her affa
bility not checked by successes. The authoress
of ‘The Story of a South Afrioan Farm,' written
when she was a girl of 18, has depicted the
Karoo in far more vivid language than 1 can
command, and yet it must be seen to be appre
ciated. To drink in tbe pure rarefied air. to
bathe in the sun's rays tempered by soft cool
windß, so inspirits as to make the consciousness
of existence a joy, and banishes all sense of
fatigue. Our ramble was not wholly destitute
of incident. Once a deadly puff
adder, three feet long, glided across
our path, no uncommon experience, and
while I timidly shrank away, Mias Schreiner,
borrowing my long African stick, ‘went for’ the
reptile, she cherishing an implacable enmity to
ward all the snake tribe. We had climbed up
1.500 feet, and were seated to admire the view,
when the barking of the dogs warned us that
some wild animal was in the rocky ravine just
below. Probably it was a jackal or wild-cat,
possibly only a baboon; lions are prac
tically unknown now in South Af
rica and none had been driven
in for my special benefit, although I was a
traveler from England. We could not induce
the dogs to go after the intruder. Of personal
anecdote Miss Schreiner bad no small store
with which to beguile the way. Owce, for in
stance, she aud her sister were disturbed at
night by some unaccountable movements, and
in the morning found a snake lying harmlessly
in the bed between them. These are not, how
ever, frequent experiences in South Africa.”
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