Newspaper Page Text
4
C|e|HttriiinHftos
Morning News Building Savannan, Ga.
THURSDAY. NOV. 28, 1891.
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INDEX TO NEW ADVKRTISKMKNTi
Meetings -Ladies' Auxiliary at Miokva Israel;
Savannah Lodge Wo. 52, K. of P.; Zerubbabel
Lodge wo. 15, F. and A. M.
Sfecial Notices -Postponement of S. T. and
S. Club Masquerade Ball; Closing of Ludden £
Bates S. M. H.; Mrs. Tully and Massage Treat
ment; Notioe as to Closing of City Offices.
Military Order—Order No. 25, Savannah
Cadets.
Prices or Florida Orange*—N. L. Turner £
Cos., Kathleen, Fla
Pdbucatioss—The Youth’s Companion.
Amusements—A Festival of Ceres by Ladies
of St Matthew’s Episcopal Church at Odd Fel
lows' Ball, Commencing Not. 30; Base Ball To
day, Chatham vs. Mutual.
Ladies—Do Your Shopping in the Morning at
Altmayer's.
Thanksgiving Dat—L. &B. 3. M. H.
Great Bankrupt Sale—At Kohler’s.
Three Grades or Collars—The Falk Cloth
ing Company.
Hotel—The Phoenix, Waycross, Ga
Cheap Column Advertisements Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For
Sale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
’Twas in the gloaming by the fair Wyoming
lhat I met my darling many years ago;
And my memory tender brings her back in
splendor.
With her cheeks of roses and her brow of
snow.
But where in thunder is she now, I wonder*
O, my soul, be quiet: and, my sad heart, hush!
Under the umbrella of some other feller
Methlnka 1 see her paddling through the slush.
Out in Kansas a oountry merchant at
Fort Scott set a spring guu which killed a
thief whom the merchant complains is un
known. Thieves do not usually introduce
themselves nor oarry satisfaotory creden
tials. They rarely have time to use them.
Fossibly they don’t think such an outfit
necessary. So that the Kansas man’s
■pring gun works all right and kills thieves
without identifying them he needn’t worry
about ascertaining any personal history of
his cadavers.
With the apparent mania of the present
administration people f&r advertising the
business enterprises of their relatives
end friends it is a very fortunate
thing for the oredit of the coun
try that they have no relatives en
gaged in the burying business. Else we
might expect to see a number of spectacu
lar funerals advertised with some member
of the Harrison family doing the role of
“leading support” before this administra
tion finally comes to an end.
Few men in the king business are half so
humane os well as thoughtfully practical
and progressive as King Leopold of Bel
gium. Lately he has been investing quite
extensively in northwestern timber lands
and he is said to contemplate further invest
ments on a very extensive scale. Possibly
he is thinking of acquiring a whole state in
fee with the idea of starting a branoh king
dom on this side of the stream. In that
case he would do well to locate in Canada.
They want a sovereign badly over there.
Here we are all sovereigns.
Adherents of Frenzy Foraker are said to
be literally howling with indignation at the
thoughtlessness of Sherman in not standing
aside with prompt deference to make room
for the Foraker senatorial boom to pass.
Standing directly in front of them and ef
fectually blocking their progress makes
them somewhat "hot under the oollar,” as
it were. While Sherman la aeoepoUeiag
68 out ot a possible 9* votes Foraker at his
highest flight of freaEf caanst command
but 38 votes, and his grip upon all of them
is not absolutely secure notwithstanding
that over $50,000 of the state campaign
fund was indirectly devoted to boosting the
fire-and-frenzy candidate.
Conflicting reports out in South Dakota
deolare that young Mrs. James G. Blaine,
Jr., has abandoned her much-discussed ap
plication for divorce from her husband and
also deny the rumor. But the fact that she
has gone to St Paul for optical treatment
and given up her Sioux Falls cottage places
the preponderance of apparent evidence in
favor of the relinquishment theory in spite
of the positive denials of her Dakota attor
neys. Should Secretary Blaine receive the
republican presidential nomination he
would probably not care to have such a
family skeleton exposed as a campaign at
traction. That may account for this,
prospective conclusion of the case.
A Differsues of Opinion.
CoL Livingston and Senator Ellington do
not agree as to the extent which tbe third
party sentiment prevailed in tbe recent
alliane > convention at Indi&naDolia. Cot.
Livingston was a delegate to the conven
tion and Senator Ellington was not. Both
have given their impressions of tbe
convention and its work in inter
views which have been published
in Atlanta. Col Livingston says that
the third party bad only a small represen
tation in the convention, but that it had
some very active lobbyists on tbe outside.
Senator Ellington is of the opinion that
fully seven-tenths of the members of the
convention favored the third party and be
is satisfied that at the February meeting
the other three-tenths will favor it also.
It must be admitted that CoL Livingston’s
opportunity for gathering correct informa
tion was better than Senator Ellington’s,
because he was oa the inside and heard what
the delegates had to say in their secret oou
ferencee. Senator Ellington heard the talk
on tbe outside. His association doub'.lesa
was largely with those who were at Indian
apolis for the purpose of influencing tbe
alliance to take some actioa favorable to
the third party. Still, it is remarkable that
be should differ so greatly with CoL Liv
ingston upon a matter in whioh both are so
deeply Interested and concerning which
both sought information.
Oeb Livingston was anxious that the con
vention should take no action with regard
lo the third party, and it did not, and It
■nay he that he was really deceived as to the
extent which tbe third party sentiment pre
vailed. On the other hand, it is understood
chat Senator Ellington is heartily in favor
of the third part}’, and, that being the case.
he may have ■ egarded the third party indi
cations much more favorably than tbe facts
warranted. The probabilities are that
neither Col. Livingston nor Senator Elling
ton saw the situation as it actually was.
Each was too much interested In finding a
condition of affairs in harmony With his
views to see tbe exact truth.
President Folk in an interview in Wash
ington hints that there will be very im
portant political aotion taken at tbe Feb
ruary meeting. He declares that the old
partief are on the verge of coalescing. This
seems to indicate that in his opinion there
will be a third party, and that the back
bon#-of it will be the organizations whioh
were recently in session at Indianapolis.
It is certain that a big effort is going to
be made to carry the National Farmer's Al
liance and all Its auxiliary organizations
into the third party. W hether It will suo
ceed or’not is a question that cannot now be
answered with any degree of certainty.
But if there should be a third party, it
would not play a very conspicuous part in
the n/ttianal campaign. The struggle be
tween the Democratic and Kepublioan
parties for supremacy is going to be a tre
mendous one, and will so completely absorb
the attention of the whole country that a
third party would secure but scant con
sideration.
Fife May Yet Have Fun.
Quite a bunch of novel suggestions is in
troduced by the Loudon correspondent of
the New York Times in a recent cable
letter.
Notwithstanding that the queen has
twenty-three grandchildren living on Brit
ish soil the writer asserts that "the grave
illness of one of them is immediately dis
covered to threaten all sorts of painful
complications. When Prince George re
covers the usually stolid Britons are likely
to indulge in a popular demonstration—un
less the correspondent is away off his reck
oning as to the present condition of public
sentiment. It is expeoted to assume pro
portions similar to the outburst of enthusi
asm which greeted the father of the young
prinoe on his restoration to health. Very
largely this probability is attributable to
the personal popularity of Prince George.
With his father the cause was just the
same.
Consigned to a private station in life
Prince George would probably never have
amounted to anything remarkable. Only
for the unusually conspicuous stupidity of
his very ridioulous eider brother, who is
known to London society as ’’Collars and
Cuffs,” and the strong contrast that they
form by comparison the young prince
would not appear at all extraordinary even
as average modern princes go. Still he is
the particular pet and idol of the Wales
family, and the especial prde of Albert
Edward pere.
Owing to the generally acknowledged
worthlesness of the Duke of Clarence the
statement said to have bad its origin in a
very high quarter has steadily gained cur
rency to the effect that the “Collars and
Cuffs” Duke of Clarence would not be
allowed to marry and would be gently
though firmly relegated to the most con
venient shelf in order that the crown and
and scepter of Britania might descend
still further through the new royal line
that is to be established by the judicious
matrimonial alliance that Prince George is
to form.
Should’thia plan fall and both princes die
without issue then their eider sister would
take up the royal responsibilities and rev
enues with the aid of her Scottish Duke of
Fife as a sort of assistant or wooden ruler
and father of the ensuing family ks well as
lord high keeper of the paregoric.
Very neat arrangement. It may operate
quite nicely if the Britons should not ulti
mately decide to abolish sovereigns alto
gether.
When the enterprising management of a
Chicago military fair started a contest of
respective popularity between Baby Huth
Cleveland and Baby McKee to ascertain the
prevailing sentiments and get the dimes of
the martial hogkillers the voting naturally
Indicated a deficiency in perfect
good taste and a consequent prefer
ence for Baby McKee by a soore
ot 1,385 to 1,187. Stili Baby Ruth did
pretty well considering that she is so little
and helpless. But the queerest part of the
whole incident was the dispatch dated at
the white house that some practical joker
sent out from Washington in the name of
Baby McKee gallautly resigning the prize
dollie to Baby Ruth in the following words:
“To Committee—Grandpa said I’d get
there, but I’m a boy. I don’t want the doll
and I want it given to Baby Cleveland.” To
suspect that the President of the United
States wrote suoh a slangy arid boastful dis
patch as that on behalf of bis grandohild
would not be a fair presumption. Never
theless it is a really good suggestion in gal
lantry if not in politeness to the victorious
Master Ben McKee,
Another orank has jumped off the Brook
lyn bridge and furnished a newspaper para
graph as well as a subject for the New York
coroner. That bridge seems to form a very
attractive sort of place to jump from.
THE MORNING NEWS: THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 26, 1891.
Thoughtfulneae In Thanksgiving.
Everybody ought to know what Thanks
giving day is intended for. Yet to most of
us it simply implies a day given up to
an indiscriminate slaughter of turkeys and
the initial proceedings of subsequent dys
pepsia, in the course of which the bad
small boy does a very large share of the
gorging and the parish minister “does the
rest.” That is to say that tbe good dominie
does “those things which” tbe thoughtless
lad “ought to have done,” and which he
is generally found to have “left undone.”
So those of us who are prosperous gener
ally feel well satisfied and somewhat dis
tended on this day of “riotous living.” But
how fares it with the toothsome and Invol
untary turkey? Manifestly this can be no
favorite celebration with him.
But how many of us ever stop to think
who may be direstly made wretched by our
happiness or who or what may suffer in
order that our desires may be satisfied i
Truly this is a world of selfishness.
Thanksgivingjday doesn’t come around
often. When ft does oome we should make
the most of it in every way. Long faces
and mournful mouthings are not at all
necessary. They do not make the world
any better. Uniform cheerfulness has a
far more desirable influence.
At the same time we should not forget
that while ws swell with satisfaction there
may be others about us much less fortunate
whose sorrows or physical suffering* we
might greatly soften by merely enersbUg
m little thoughtful coesidaifettoe as4 shar
ing our over-abas desire with these wise are
la need. Whatever atmospheric defeats
there may be in the outward seeming of the
day may be rendered far mors oheerful to
the depressed in tb at way.
Dou’t eat too muck. Above all things
don’t drink too much. Thence comes de
bility, headache and remorse.
This is the only Tnanksgiviag day we
shall have for a whole year. Let’s make it
uuaulmoua.
Bulldozing Tactics.
The republicans in New York are trying
to get possession of the New York Assembly
by bulldozing the official cau Yassers and by
asserting that the democrats are "trying to
steal tbe legislature.” It is evident that the
democrats hare no intention to do any
stealing. The official canvass, according
to Gov. Hill, gives them two majority. The
republicans are seeking to deprive them of
this majority by bulldozing tactics, and it
Is certain that they would not hesitate to
steal a majority if thdy could do so success
fully. Indeed it looks very much as if the
republicans were trying “to steal the legisla
ture” and that tbe democrats were trying
to prevent them.
Tbe Senate, aa well as the Assembly, is
very close, and a day or two ago a repub
lican senator died. At once the republican
organs began to make a great noise about
tbe necessity for having a special election
in the senatorial district in which the va
cancy exists. They are telling Gov. Hill
what his duty in the premises is and insist
ing that if he fails to order a special election
before tbe meeting of the legislature be will
be guilty of a deliberate attempt to defraud
the oeople of their rights, or something to
that effect.
In our dispatches yesterday tbe death of
a democratic member of the Assembly was
announced. It will be interesting to notice
whether tbe republican organs will be as
anxious to have an election to All tbe va
cancy in the Assembly as they have been to
have one to fill the Senate vacancy.
With such a record the Republican party
has for stealing offices, from the presidency
down, it would seem as if it would not have
the effrontery to charge the Democratic
party with stealing. Behind Its mask of
virtue, however, it seems to hesitate at
nothiug.
There docs not appear to be any reason
to doubt that tbe democrats are rightfully
entitled to the majority in the Assembly
which tbe canvassing boards give them,and
and it is safe to say that nothing ths repub
lican organs oan say or the republican leal
era do will causo them to give up what
belongs to them.
A Silly Oblectlon.
The silliest objsetion that has yet been
made to Judge Crisp for speaker is that he
is not a native born American. What does
it matter whether he was bora in this
country or not? His parents happened to
be in England when he was bora, but he
was in this country a good long time before
he began to cut his teeth. He is a genuine
American from the crown of his bald head
to the soles of his feet.
And if he should be elected speaker there
would be no chance of his becoming Presi
dent while occupying that office. In the
event of the death of the President and
Vice President the speaker does not become
President The Secretary of Stata suoceeds
to the presidency, and after him the cabinet
ollicer next in rauk, and so on through the
whole list of secretaries.
Extraordinary efforts are being made to
defeat Mr. Crisp, it doesn’t look yet, how
ever, as if they would succeed. All the in
dications are that he is in the lead, but to
maintain the lead he will have to do a good
deal of hard work, and his friends must
help him.
Mexican military authorities are alleged
to have oommitted another gross outrage
by flagrantly arresting and imprisoning an
American army officer who had ventured to
cross the border on peaceful purposes in
tent. Fairly wild with indignation the
ollicer pronounces his arrest and incarcera
tion a gross outrage without the shadow of
a justifying pretext. Doubtless the Mexi
can goveiMment will suavely apologize and
smilingly swear that it was all an innocent
mistake. That is the usual way. And
when the Mexioan authorities feel inollned
to discipline another Amerioan they will
blandly repeat the same simple programme.
Agitator MoGlynn is sUI hacking away
at tks pqpo and tbs arcUbtafcep of Hew
York and declares that he trill aevtr re
treat anything he has said. Just so leng as
the mob chips in liberally to hear his beau
tiful theories “agin poverty”he will con
tinue to shout anti-poverty heroics and re
vile the religion that he formerly olalmed
to believe in. But he will probably lose
some of his buoyant confidence in it when
he finds that it no longer pays. Most of
these anti-poor advocates believe in high
living, and it weakens their arguments
mightily to come in coCtact with a money
less crowd.
Granting indemnity to the families of
those of the Baltimore sailors who were
killed or Injured in the recent scrimmage in
Valparaiso shows a disposition on the part
of the Chilean government to aot fairly in
the matter. Therefore the attempt to work
off as an American that Irish sailor from
a merchant vessel who had never even been
in this country was peculiarly improper and
as disheaest as it was ridiculous. -
PERSONAL.
Napoleon at >5 commanded the army of Italy.
At 30 he was not only one of the most illustri
ous generals of the time, but one of tbe great
law givers of the world. At 46 he saw Water
loo.
Fob over thirty years Capt. L H. Wood of
Poughkeepsie and bis four sons hare been sav
ing human beings from drowning. They are
known to have rescued over 100 unfortunates
from watery graves.
Dr Albert Shaw in a recent lecture at Johns
Hopkins Universuy predicted that the adoption
of Gen. Booth's method* would result in com
pletely stamping out the slums of London
within twenty years.
W. K. Vanderbilt pays a physician SIO,OOO
for taking a six weeks' trip with him. It is to
be presumed that the physician will take extra
good care of his patient He will if he knows a
good thing when he sees il.
The sculptor Powers has a son who Is fol
lowing in his father s footstep*. Out in Denver
he has a studio, where he i* at work upon a
lonely Indian and a dying buffalo, designed to
represent “A Closing Era."
M. Qviiaot, a French chemist, has been going
into the subject of whitened Cape diamonds.
He has ascertained that 20,000,000 franca' wortn
hare beau sold In Belgium alone at from 25 to
30 per cent, above their value.
Sib Julian Pauncefote is an enthusiastic
tennis player. He dresses for the game m
white flannels, the coat tightly buttoned. An
observer says thAt Sir Julian never stoops for
a balL In fact, his game is exceedingly digni
fied.
Senor Romero of the Mexican legation has a
hobby for collecting clocks of all countries.
Every room ia tbe legation building has a flue
3packmen, and one of the senor'* speolal con
osvas fg to nee that they are all perfectly la
order.
WAHrnoTPN's old headquarters at Talley
Forge will sooa pans Into the hands of * patri
otic association. A body of patriotic Philadel
phians, headed by Postmaster Geaeral Wana
tnaker, and tbe Daughters of the Revolution
both desire the property.
The Marquis de Urouijo, who has just died
in Spain, began life without a penny and died a
Cnesus. His executors have paid a suoc-ssion
tax of $430,000 on his fortune He left SIOO,OOO
to be expended for masses for his soul. His entire
estate aggregated 325,000,000.
One of tbe most distinguished looking women
on tbe board of ladv manages of the world's fair
is Mrs. Augeli, the wife of the president of the
University of Michigan. She is a woman of
various acquirements and accomplishments, and
of unusual force of character.
The handsome crown princess of Sweden will
bring Into tbe royal house of Bernadotte quite
a fortune, as her only brother being childless,
she will inherit the vast amount bequeathed to
the Grand Duohes* of Baden by her parents,
the late Emperor William and the Empress
Augusta.
The Astor family have £1,000,000 sterling In
English securities. The founder of tbe family.
John Jacob Amtor, left an Injunction in his will
that the family should always continue the in
vestments in the English funds and In English
securities that he had himself commenced The
sons and grandsons have always respected this
command.
BRIGHT BITS.
Hr—Oan I—er—dare to love you?
She—You may love me if you wish. Ido not
know whether you can or not.
He—Neither do I.— lndianapolis Journal.
Dyspeptic Amwucin (In Liverpool shop)—
How much for these hot water bottles? I ex
pect to be sick on the way over, and I want
something I can keep on my stomach. —Brook
lyn Life.
“That election, sir, was carried by open
bribery. The money flowed like water.”
“Like water?” echoed tbe astonished demo
crat. “Is that all you know about our ward?”
Chicago Tribune.
Peace reigns throughout prosperous land,
Our labors we renew with zest.
The orator is silent and
The campaign liar takes a rest.
—New York Press.
Primus— Col. Btuegrass shut his eyes when be
drank my cognac. Too strong for him, you
suppose?
Secandns—No; I guess he didn’t like to look
at it for fqar It would make bis mouth water.
Judge.
Bkooar—Please, sir, won’t you give me a dol
lar to buy medicine for me sics wife?
Gentleman—See, here! Only a week ago you
said your wife was dead and you ueeded money
to bury her.
Beggar-Y-e-s. This is another one.—New
York Weekly.
They were Irishmen, aud, made friendly by
the brogue, started a conversation. Presently
up came the usual quest ign from Dennis. “An’
where are you from, Pat?”
"Bedad,” answered Pat, "I’m from Ivery place
but this, an' it’s from this place I'll be soon, be
jabers!"— Harper's Young People.
.
Clarissa— Y'ou had your likeness taken at
Camera’s, you say?
Ethel—Yes.
C.—Why did you go there? He is not much
of an artist.
E —He took a very handsome portrait of me
C.—He (lid? Then he must be very clever.,
Los Angeles Times.
Editor -You Ray that you feel perfectly
capable of running the editorial department of
this paper?
Yale Graduate—Yes, sir.
Editor Well, sit right down in my chair and
write a column giving the reasons for the recent
republican defeat and you can have my position
for good. —frank Leslie's Weeklu.
Griqqsby is dining quietly when his peace of
mind is disturbed by a party of Yale men at an
adjoining table who are loudly praising their
toot ball team and belittling the teams of
other colleges. Griggsby stands it for a
Quarter of an hour and then by a furious
thumping upon the table gets a waiter to him.
“Bring me a Princeton man, quick,” he shouts.
The Yale men vanish. —New York Post.
Uncle George—l see that Mr. Amblebeigh
has got home from Europe.
Aunt Hannah—You don’t mean it!”
Uncle George—Yes, IJ saw his name in the
list of saloon passengers in the steamer that got
in yesterday.
Aunt Hannah—Among the saloon passengers!
And he aiways c almed to be a total abstainer!
There: I believe you can’t trust anybody now
adays.—Boston Transcript.
OORRBNT COM MSNT.
Pathetic Vacuum of Tin Plate.
From the Providence Journal (Ind).
Tbo apparent absence of tin cups or badges
from tbe Home Market Club banquet reminds
us that somehow we hare not beard so much
about American tin plate Bince the elections
were over.
Hunt Dp the Neighboring: Heathen.
From the Indianapolis News (Ind.).
For many long years it has been considered
the paramount duty of the preacher to prepare
people for the world to come, and this has
been supplemented by heroic attempts to im
prove the condition of the beatben many
thousand miles away. Success to this new
effort that promises to make better the actual
locality in which its promoters now live and to
consider the condition of the heathen at its very
door.
Bogy Somewhat Violently Bounced.
From the Chicago Times (Dem.)-
The speedy sentence and decapitation of this
dabbler in literature, Bogy, is likely to make
many regret that all of the fabricators of books
with suggestive titles, decorated with neky
{Setups*, and composed chiefly at situations
verging up mi the unmantxmaMe are net eaten
aMe to a Hke stern discipline. Yet a censor hip
of this nature has its penis. Years ago some
little Jove in office ejected Walt Whitman
from government employ because of alleged in
decenciee in his poems. To-day the “good gray
poet" is admired wherever American poetry is
read, while his official censor only escapes uni
versal ridicule by the faot that everybody has
forgotten his name.
Labor Continues to Get Left.
From the Philadelphia Telegraph (Rep.).
A little while ago New England mauufact
urers could demaud anything, but the balance
of Industrial power has shifted, and now they
are stranded. This incident will direct fresh
attention to one significant fact. The gover
nor of Massachusetts won his fight this year, as
he did last, very largely on this tariff issue. He
sees and Knows that the last tariff legislation is
not acceptable to New England, and as business
Interests are always paramount in politics as in
everything else, young Mr. Russell's agitation
has home legitimate fruit. The closing of mills,
too, throws out of employment many work
men, and these very soon cornu to look for the
cause of their distress. The great Bay state is
uot in a comfortable industrial condition to
day. and it is extremely likely in next year's
national contest to emphasize ita protest against
a tariff that has unquestionably worked to the
great disadvantage of very many of its people.
Overwhelming Hospitality.
For tbe first time he stepped into a law office
on Walnut street, says the Philadelphia Press,
and. bowing politely to tbe student, asked:
"Wiß you allow roe to look at your city direc
tory a few minutes?"
"Certainly,'' replied the student.
He seized the directory, dropped into a chair,
and, after consulting Gopsif a few minutes,
looked up and said:
“Can I trouble you for a small scrap of pa
per?"
He was accommodated.
Then be took up a pen from the desk, dipped
it into the ink, scribbled a few lines on the paper
and smilingly asked the student;
"Have you an old enveloped’"
The student surveyed him a few seconds, then
replied:
“Of course. Here you aue. Anything else* '
“If you could sell me a ‘--cent stamp I would
be obiichet."
“With pleasure. Two cents, please. Any
thing else?’’
"N-no. I think not. thank you.”
Overcome by the magnificent cheek displayed
the student, drawing his watch, aaid; "You
may want to know tbe time. It is just 3:06; I
don't think there is any law against spitting on
the floor; smoking is allowed, and here ia a
match. We all put our feet up on the desks,
and I see no reason why you can’t, too.
"Here is an evening paper Shall I have the
office-boy mail the letter for you? Just put
your hat on the rack over there, and if the rat
tle of the writing-machine disturbs you I'll have
the stenographer stop.”
“You overwhelm me with your politeness,
murmured the mau. "I am very sorry that I
can't partake of your hospitality ”
“What: Not going? I'm sorry for that.
WelL call again when you haven’t anything
else to da We will always be pleased to see
you. Good-by."
And as the door closed the student looked over
at his preceptor and gasped;
“That must be the King of Gaul
Dispelled the Old Man’a Doubts.
When Mr. Willard's production of “Judah"
had set Loßdon agog with comment, and argu
ments for and against the celebrated scene of
the play were on every tongue—the scene in
which Judah Llewellyn, the young clergyman,
deliberately swears to a lie in defense of fee
woman be loves—Mr. Willard decided to obtain
the opinions of the ministers themselves, and to
that end gave a special private matinee, invit
ing clergymen of all denominations to attend,
says the Chicago Pott. Nearly 1,000 of these
responded, and among them were many quaint,
unworldly characters They came in gaiters
and shovel hats, and other garb peculiar to
their different sects, and, taking advantage of
the terms of the invitation, many brought
their wives and daughters with them.
The majority of the ministers had never en
tered a play-house in their lives, and some were
a trifle timorous. But. taking courage from
numerical strength, they poured into the tnea
ter. One old fellow in the most striking of
ministerial garb came along with a young lady
on each arm. He was a spare faced, severe
looking man of 50 or thereabout, aud be re
garded the matter as a very grave affair indeed.
But the young ladles who came with him were
of quite another mind They were plainly de
lighted at the prospect of attending a genuine
theater and seeing a real play, and as they
passed In at tbe door and the brilliancy of the
place, with its lights and warm colors, burst
upon them, one of them enthusiastically ex
claimed. with a gurgle of delight:
“O, this is paradise!”
Whereupon the grave old apostle turned to
her with a reproving glance and said, with a
broad Scotch accent:
“Dinna be sae sure about that, lassie. I’m
not sae certain it isn’t the ither place.' 1
But the old fellow’s doubts were dispelled
when he had seen the play, and he was one of
the most emphatic eulogists in the entire
audience.
Determined to Kick Her Dog.
He got on the ferryboat at Market street,
Camden. His eye was; a beautiful jet black,
and was swollen to twice its natural size, says
me Philadelphia Pri st. As soon as he stepped
on board he became the center of attention.
I inally, after struggling with conflicting emo
tions for some time, he got up, and, approach
ing a party of men who were eyeing him and
exchanging significant nods, said:
"Gentlemen, I’ve got a pretty eye, haven’t I?”
“Well, yes," answered one.
"No use denying that?"
"Well, hardly.’’
“I'll not.”
“1 bad one of Uie same kind about two weeks
ago." began anotner in a patronizing way.
"k>ll against a bed post in my sleep "
“I blackened mine one time chopping wood
chip flew up and struck me."
“That reminds me. ’ This from a third. “I
got one one time in a peculiar way. I was fool
ing with a friend "
"Well, gentlemen, I didn’t get mine in any
of these ways," interrupted the man with his
eye under a cloud.
“No!” Chorus.
“No, sir. I’ll not deny it. I’ll admit It. I
got hit. She got the best, of me. My wife. I
mean. Don’t sympathize with me. I don’t de
serve sympathy. lam a rank fool. I knew
she could get away with me before I married
her.
"When we were engaged she could put me on
her shoulder. But I’ll have my revenge. I’m
going over to town and get dead drunk. Des
perately drunk i And then I’ll go home aud
ktek her brand now pug dog all over the house.
That’s what 111 do. Ob, no! I don’t deny it.
Sbe gave me the eye; but I’ll get even.”
And bo walked forward and resumed his seat
in silence.
That Thanksgiving Dinner.
Prom the Chicago Tribune.
How dear to our hearts Is the Thanksgiving din
ner.
As fond recollections present it to view.
When father’d come home from the raffle a
winnor.
And bring along with him a gobbler or two.
Ah! then in the kitchen was hurry and bustle,
Sis weeping at haring the onions to shell.
And mother just making the whole of us hustle
To hasten the dinner that filled us so well;
The Thanksgiving dinner, the gorgeous old din
ner.
The big turkey dinner that filled us so well,
*
Oh, how can 1 all tha ingredients measure
That dear bill of lading prescribed as our
store,
The turk and his mystic abdominal treasure,
The beans and the giblets, the gravy galore.
The cider we brought in a jug from the depot.
The truck agricultural none could excel,
And ah! the lush fruit of cucurbits nepo—
The dear pumpkins pies that we garnered so
well!
Yum, yum, what a dinner! That turk and punk
dinner!
That Thanksgiving dinner that crammed us so
well!
No Advantage.
A man whose head was perfectly bald sat
down in a chair in a Griswold street bafber
shop with a grin on his feme, says the Detroit
free Press , and as he was being lathered said:
"I suppose you have observed that I am bald
headed *”
"Yes, sir; I has obsarved it, sah,” replied the
barber
"Rather got the advantage of you, eh?”
"How, sah?”
“Whv, you can't very well ask me if I want
my hair cut. ”
"No, sah, I can't sah; but I wishes to call your
’teushim to my h'ar renewer—so cents a bottle
—a pint in a bottle—make your b ar grow in fo’
weeks, sah!”
Got His Discharge.
A touching instance of the humor whioh
sever deserts a true Irishman, even in his
worst troubles, says the FoutA’* Companion, Is
recorded in an exchange
A soldier was seen in the trenches holding his
band above the earthwork. His captain asked;
"What are you doing that for, Pat?”
He replied with a grin as be worked his fing
ers: "I'm feeling for a furlough, sure!”
Just thee a rifleball struck his arm below the
wrtal He drew it down quickly and grasped It
with the ether hand to Check the blood. Then
a qutwr expression of pain and humor passed
over his face and be exclaimed:
“An' faith it’s a discharge!”
Gladstone was in parliament at 22, and at 24
was lord of the treasury.
BAKING FOWDKR.
npsA Baking
Powder
Used in Millions of Homes— 40 Years the Standard.
FLAVORING EXTRACTS.
Stand Alone.
It is a fact which can be
proven by a single trial, that
the flavor given to cakes,
puddings, creams, sauces, by
Dr. Price’s Delicious •Flavor
ing Extracts, are as natural
as the fruit and are as much
unlike, in delicate flavor and
strength, the cheap extracts
as can possibly be imagined.
In these respects they stand
alone in the market. Dr.
Price’s Vanilla is a year old
before it is bottled and offer
ed for sale. Age softens and
developes its fine and deli
cate flavor.
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
"I TELL you, Mr. Asa Potter Is a sharp oo*,’
said a prominent bank man yesterday," “and
few people can get ahead of him. even when it
comes to making a wager. Two or three years
ago. when the Maverick Bank crowd were mak
ing barrels of money, I went over to New York
O' e day on tbe 8 o’clock train. Asa Potter and
Waiter Potter were sitting directly in front of
me, and I couldn’t help overhearing their talk.
Asa was eulogizing the train service and Walter
was running it down. Finally says Asa: ‘l'll
bet you SSOO (producing the bills) that this train
gets into New Vork exactly on time.’ Walter
took tbe bet and then the subject was dropped.
Boon afterward Asa took a stroll through the
train. Stopping at Bridgeport he nogotlated
with the conductor to put the train into New
York on time for $250. We reached New York
exactly on time and Asa won his $500."
A rather STRANOR as well as amusing Inci
dent happened on board the schooner Emma
Clara, while at sea last Saturday on her way up
from Rockport, Me. They were well out at sea,
where tbe water was blue and clear and the
wind very light, when one of the passengers
discovered a large fish, which is known in those
waters as a linn, following close behind the
boat. Several of the bqys were soon leaning
over the stern admiring tbe flsb. when one of
them accidentally dropped his watch overboard
out of his overshirt pocket. It was a large, old
fashioned Swiss silver watch, and when it kit
the water it glanced off sidewise and darted on
its voyage to the bottom of the sea, but the linn
saw it. and as be Is a fish that bites at every
thing that shines, regardless of flavor or taste,
opened his huge month and swallowed the
watch at one gulp. The surprised and cha
grined young man says that the watch had just
been wound up and was good to tick away for
twenty-four hours at laast. The fish seemed to
enjoy the meal, and followed leisurely after the
boat for some time.
Since the middle of the summer contagious
diseases have been raging among the cattle ia
almost every part of Russia, especially in the
ranches of the Crimea and the horse ranches in
Caucasia. When the veterinary commission of
the government took notice of she fact and sent
experts to destroy the infected animals, the
ranchmen and the peasants of the neighbor
hood would not allow them to do their duty, and
began to riot, which in several instances had to
be put down by the bayonet The ministry of
the interior has therefore decided to establish a
"veterinary police system" throughout the em
pire. The duty of the police will be to guard
against the Importation of sick cattle from
abroad, to watch in the cattle raising districts,
the cattle markets, at the abattoirs, at the Lide
and leather stores, and wherever live cattle or
the products of animals are so'.d or kept lo
store, that the orders of the government veter
iuaries be promptly and accurately obeyed.
Tbev will have control over the dairies which
furnish milk, butter and cheese to large cities.
Veterinary courts win be opened, with the
power to punish the dealers in live stock and in
animal products who disobey the orders of the
veterinary doctors.
An officer of the San Franctsoo said that as
far as he could learn the war in Chile was in
stigated and, in a measure, maintained by an
English syndicate of capitalists, who were en
gaged in nitrate and other business in that
country. They sold their i roducts to the outside
world for gold and paid their help ia paper
money, which was badly depredated even be
fore the war, but alter the war began tbe de
preciation was 50 per oent. greater. "One gold
dollar of Chilean money would buy three paper
dollars, and you could get $2 40 cents in paper
for one silver Amerioan dollar. At Coquitnbo
the English capitalists own immense smelling
works, where $250,000 worth of copper was
smelted every week. This valuable output
was sold for gold, and the labor was
all paid in paper money. There
had been much talk about Chile’s
ability to strike heavy blows in case of a war
with the United States. An officer on tbe ban
Francisco says in the capture of Yalparlso the
congressionansts’ squadron played no part
worthy of mention. The Esmeralda. Cochrane,
Acoucaq t and O’Higgins were all armed with
heavy Armstrong rifle* and did not attempt to
engage Forts;l'ratt and Callao at the entrance
of the harbor, but kept well out of range. At
Iquique they kept five miles out to sea and not
a shell fell in the town. I never saw snob poor
gunnery before, be said. Why, at 2,000 yards I
saw the Cochrane keep up a fire on the Villa del
Mar, and not a shot struck tbe fort, which, by
the way, is a very large extensive work and
offers a large target. When tbe four congres
sional vessels wore firing at Fort Callao; the fort
was struck a half dozen times only out of over
300 shots.
The following case of a mania for soap eat
ing, which deserves the coinage of the word
sapessomania, or mania for eating eoap. Mrs.
J., aged 29, of Danbury, Conn., consults her
physician in reference to an irritable stomach
of long standing. She gives the following de
tails. When about S years of age she first en
joyed a mouthful of bar soap; so agreeable was
the taste that she would eat it "whenever she
could get it.” When aged 6 years her mother
found her, spoon in baud, eating soft soap with
keen relish. As she grew in years so did her
yearning for soap—her playmates ate candy,
but she preferred soap; her father brought
home to the other children sweetmeats, but to
equally satisfy her a piece from common bar
soap must be given. Until she was 11 her
papessumama continued. When awake she
loved to handle it and smell of it and eat of ic.
When asleep she dreamed of soap. Often, to
pacify her, a p e;o of soa:> was given to her to
hold in her hand to soothe her to sleep, when
she continued in her imagination still to cat
soap. At 11 her stomach burned her so
that she stopped her habit, but still
continued to love to handle and to think
of eating the great delicacy. When 23, or
twelve years after her last feast, an advertising
agent left at her door a 5-cent bar of bath-room
soap, which pleased her so much that she ate it
all in twenty-four hours. Since then she has
eaten none, although there is always the desire
to do so. To-day, did not her stomach forbid
the yearning to "eat some more" would be irre
sistible. Though she can no longer eat it, she
still loves to handle It, she loves to use plenty of
it in her housework and in her bath-room. The
smell of It is still sweet to her nostrils, and the
tnick suds she delights in remind her or the days
gone by, never to return. Strange to say, she
cares only for the esarse bar soap; fancy soaps
she never uses. Personally she is of nervous
temperament, yet evidently a woman of much
self-control. She asserts that her mania Is as
strong to-day as it was years ago. though she
has tasted soap but once in eighteen years. De
spite her Rtaiements, however, the doctors be
lieve she Is still eating the little soap which her
irritable stomach will allow her.
MEDICAL.
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BEfIF EXTRACT.
A Small
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Liebig Company’s 1
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HARDWARE.
ill Mi
Lefever, Colt, Smith and
Parker Hammerless Guns.
Shells loaded with Schultz,
Wood and Dupont’s Powder.
Hunting Coats, Shoes and
Leggins.
.’slirHartoft
