Newspaper Page Text
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Morning News Bui ding Savannan, Ga.
SATURDAY, FKBRU I 1892.
Registered at the Foat office in Satannn'i.
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INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.
Mketiko— University Club.
Special Notices Ah to Crew, of British
6toamship Ganges and Norwegian Barb Nor
xnanvik; Seeds. Etc..Solomons A Cos.: Exquisite
perfumery, Solomons A Oo.; Notloe. American
Trading Company; As to Bills Against British
Steamship Serapis.
Auction Sale— Damaged Goods, by R. H.
tTatem.
Amuskmsn'ts— HorbertCawthornand His Com
edy Cherubs at Theater Tuesday, Feb. 9.
Open Lath This Evknino— B. H. Levy ,£ Bro.
Neckwear— Falk Clothing Company.
Hotel -Windsor Hotel. Jacksonville, Fla.
Lkoal Notice —Citation from the Clerk of
the Court of Ordinary of Chatham County.
Steamship Schedules Ocean Steamship
Company; Baltimore Steamship Company.
Cheap Column Advertisements Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted: For Rent; For
Bale; Lost; Persona!; Miscellaneous.
"Jack the Lovemaker” is the latest addi
tion to the directory of jock asses.
Will the Hoggin and Shields claims be
put in the hands of Collector Frank Egon!
The collective guardian is a failure. The
Four Hundred makes a butler of its Ward.
The lottery people drew a blank from the
pretty blind goddess with the brass
balances.
These trusts apoeardetermlued to run the
thing in the ground. Now they have com
bined ou collins.
The way the susceptible "critics” talk
about Paderewski's chrysanthemum top is
enough to make a oro-cus.
The man who wonts tbe earth be. only to
spend part of a windy day in Savannah,
end he will get a large portion of it, lit bis
eye.
If tbe freezing importance of some callow
clerks could be turned to commercial advan
tage the ice manufactories would nave to go
out of businuss.
Ex-Senator Ingalls is probably in train
ing to ask favors of tbe econotnlo "third"
party in the west. Judging from bis recent
Utterances lu Chicago.
Boston girls may go tuto eoslacies over
Browning and esoteric Buddhism, but they
positively refuse to give up the corset habit
to please the physical,culture cranks.
Georgia has been invited to extend her
•ympathy to the starving Russians. The
pocket book can express mors sympathy in
a minute than a tongue cau lu a month.
The designs on the new issue coins may
be artistically ugly, as some of our oonteio
•poraries contend, but the gentlemen lu the
business office are uot. ssthetle numismat
ists.
Protection in Kriuiee odvanne, the cost of
the necessaries of life to the laborer an
average of l frano, about 20 cents per (lay;
but not a centime doe* it add to Id, wages.
There is an object lessor, in protection.
Why not send Italy a draft drawn on
Ctillo, worded In the usual wayi “Pay to
eto., and charge to tbe account of.” That
svould simplify matters and savu us the n
-boyauce of becoming a uatlonal bin col
lector.
The czar throw a bomb a day or two ago.
It was only a tigurative explosive, to be
sure, but tbe efTeot was startling. He
“fired” a oorrupt official because ho was
corrupt. That established a precedent iu
Russia.
Ex-Bpeaker Heed regards tho Fifty.Urst
congress as the one groat event In tßa lifo
Of this republic, and all events in history
or futurity ho measures by tbe yardstick
adopted by bis confreres and wielded by
himself.
China goes about "paying the tiddler” In
the recent outbreaks in a businesslike
way. Officials at fault are being "extir
pated,” and the families of victims oi tbo
slaughters are referred to the cashier for
consolation.
Mr. Patrick Egan "courts an investiga
tion” of his offiotal conduct as tbe ac
credited representative of this government
to Chile. Mr. Egan had better press his
courtship vigorously if he hopes to win,
beoause there will boa new set of officials
in Washington next year, and tbo whitewash
brushes of • the vintage of "si will have
been sent to the garbage dump.
The Republican Grab Game CheciM.
When tbo United States supreme court
decided last Monday that Jams* E. Boy 1
was the governor of Nebraska tbe hold-over
governor, Thayer, who had grabbed the
office, said that he would not give up the
office until tbe oourt issue 1 a mandatory
writ compellmg him to do so. Since than,
however, he has changed his mind and coo
! eluded that ha could get out of the offloe
now with a little mors dignity than he could
a month hence when he would be forced
out
Tuere are two points ooanectioa with this
case which are worth more than a passing
notice. The first is tbe disposition of the
republicans to grab every office they can
without regard to their right to it, aad the
second is the favorable comment* which
have been made upon the action of the
federal suprome court which, though com
posed almost wholly of republicans, decided
>n favor of the democratio olaimant, not
withstanding the fact that the state
supreme court decided in favor of tbe repub
lican claimant.
In support of the first point it is only nee
essary to refer to the case of Hulkeler, of
Connecticut, who held on to tbe office of
governor, although a democrat was elected
to it. The pretext for his action was a very
slight one, Out hit party sustained him. In
tbe last congress the republicans grabbed
quite a number of seats belonging to demo
crats. because they had tbe power to do so
and not because they had any right to them.
In this Nebraska case tbe hold-over gov
ernor, Tbaver, showed a much greater de
sire for power than to do what was right.
Nobody doubted that James E. Boyd was
elected. The Senate and House admitted
bis election and acknowledged him as gov
ernor. Ex-Gov. Thayer, however, raised
the point that Gov. Boyd was not a citizen
of tbe United Btatos, and hence was not
eligible—and this in faoe of tbe fact that
Gov. Boyd had been mayor of Omaha and
was a resident of Nebraska when tbe terri
tory became a state. It Is true that he was
born in Ireland and came to this country
before be bad reached bis majority.
There was a record that his father
bad declared bis Intention to be
come a citizen but none that be had
taken out bis final papers. Strange as it
may seem the supreme oourt of Nebraskasus
tained the point made by ex-Qov. Thayer,
and the latter resumed possession of tbe
governorship. To every good lawyer it was
apparent that Gov. Boyd was eligible,
because it was acknowledged that bo was a
citizen when Nebraska was a territory, and
by a law of congress all citizens
of tbe territory became citizens
of the state and tbe United States
when the territory was admitted. One of
tbe judge* of tbe Nebraska supreme court
dissented from tbe decision of tbe court,
end pointed out clearly that there was no
ground for keeping Gov. Boyd out of bis
office.
But why should tbe United States su
preme court h* praised for sustaining Gov.
Boyd? It Is true that a majority of the
judges of the court are republicans, and as
a general thing tbe Uuited .State? supremo
court Is Inclined to treat with great respect
the decision of a state supreme oourt, hut
to express surprise that, the United States
supreme court should favor a democrat in a
contest with a republican is to assume that
the oourt is a partisan one and will ignore
the law to serve tbe Republican party. If
the court should show a partisan spirit it
would lose the confidence of the country at
once. It is pretty safe to say that it can be
depended upon to decide in accordance with
the taw without regard to the politics of tbe
parties interested. It is its duty to do so,
and hence does not deserve praise for do
ing so.
Anthony Comstock, who Is doing noble
work for the cause of purity in literature
and art. Is continually made the butt of
ridicule and senseless criticism, in a Mil
waukee oourt Monday tbe presiding Judge
took occasion to severely criticise Mr. Com
stock’s methods of reaching u low violation
of tho law. never giving a thought, appar
ently, to the fact that if plain, straightfor
ward Inquiries had been made, not a thou
sand years would have sufficed to get evi
dence enough upon which to hang autndict
mant. The case was one for seudiug obscene
literaturo through the mails, and no method
adopted to trap such an incubus on society
can properly be oalied “questionable."
“That man Watson is making a fool of
himself,” said Detoctive William Pinkerton,
regarding tho policy of tbe Georgian in the
bill which ho recently introduced into the
lower house, recommending that congress
make a thorough investigation of Pinker
tomsm. nevertheless the Watson idea in
tins instance is backed up by good men aud
good newspapors, who aro not "making
themselves fools,” but who would like to
know something about Piukerton and his
private army.
Another aquatic fool is about to attempt
tho crossing of tbe Atlantic in a cockle shell
of a boat. Just as Capt. Andrews, of Boston,
failed to do. Tho wonder is that these
traveling cranks do not vary the programme
a little. Now, if tbe boat crank would at
tempt to cross the continent in his cockle
shell and the bloycle crank would try the
passago from New York to Liverpool on his
wheel, that would bo luteresting and new.
Tho ropolo Romano is of tho opinion that
it might boa good tbiug to have the Italiau
government represented on tho occasion of
tbe Italian residents presenting New York
with a statue of Columbus, as a moans of
rapprochement between the two govern
ments. Christopher, however, has been
one of tho "late lamented” almost too long
to act as a mediator.
And so it was an Irish sea captain that
neglected to fly thb American flag from the
peak of bis English ship when be sailed
from Canadian waters into Bridgeport, be
cause ho had no such Hag. The correspond
ent, tried to give his name an English twist,
but O'Grady would’nt be twisted.
A lone man with a valise strikes more
terror to the soul of tbo average millionaire
than all tbe bulls and bears in tbo specula
tive menagerie. Huoh a lone man went to
call on George Gould a day or two ago,
when George slipped out of a back door and
skipped tbe town.
Tbe importance of tbe matter warrants
the repetition: The health authorities are
reminded of the arrival of a yellow fever
Bhlp from South America at New York the
day before yesterday; take esre that any
suspected vessel arriving at Savannah Is
properly handled.
Carlyle Harris’ lawyers will appeal, of
oourse. Dr. Graves appealed in Denver
and may get anew trial, and surely the
New York law will be as considerate of tbe
educated and refined poisoner of a woman
as the Colorado law.
THE MORNING NEWS: SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 0, 1892.
Savannah's Public Building.
Tbe supervising architect of tbe treasury
department does not appear to be making
much headway with Savannah’s public
building. A survey of tbe site was made a
: few weeks ago, but since then absolutely
’ nothing has been heard of the matter. It
is to be bot>ed that the supervising architect
; hasn’t the impression that Savaunah is in no
| hurry for her publio building. She would
i like to have it just as soon as she can get it.
! She would be very much gratified if work
■ should be begun uoon it at once. The em
ployment of a number of meu upon tbe
building would be quite a help to her in
these dull times.
Tbe United States court is greatly in
need of a court room lu a different locality.
It is almost impossible for tbe proceedings
to be heard in the present court room. The
rumbling of the drays and trucks over the
cobblestones make a noise that drowns the
voices of the judge and lawyers.
The last time tbe public building was
mentioned in our Washington dispatches
it was stated that tbe plans for it were
being made. They ought to be completed
by this time. It has been several years
since the first appropriation was obtained,
and, although delay was made necessary by
tbe change in the site, no satisfactory
reason has yet been given for so great a
delay.
If an effort were made to get the super
vising architect to begin work upon the
building at an early day it might be success
ful. If a petition signed by a number of
citizens and the judge of the United States
court calling attention to the urgent
necessity for the building were sent to him
it might have a good effect.
Comparatively little building will be done
during the approaching summer, perhaps,
and the public building, if it were begun
soon, would afford employment for quite a
number of people who would otherwise
have nothing to do. And it
will take two years to complete the build
ing probably after it is begun. If we are
to have it in the very near future therefore
there should be as little delay as possible in
beginning work upon it. Congressman
Lester has done all he can to secure greater
activity with regard to it, and if our citi
zens were to give him a little help ho might
be able to get the treasury department to
begin the construction of the building very
soon.
Cranks Trouble Gould.
The cranks don’t get anything from Jay
Gould, but they cause him a good deal of
annoyance. They have oil sorts of schemes
for making money, and thoy want Mr.
Gould to provide the money for launching
them. They are willing for him to have a
share of the profits. The most of these
cranks aro harmless, but now and then one
makes his appearanoe who is dangerous. A
fe w years ago Mr. Gould was not alarmed
by these cranks. He avoided them when
ever he could, but when they succeeded in
getting into bis private office he managed to
get rid of them without much
trouble. Now, however, they make
him nervous; He never permits one of
them to see him, and when it is known that
there is one at his office he remains at home.
He doesn’t w ant to have suoh an experience
as Russell Sage had, and he doesn’t intend
to.
Wednesday a crank from Millville, N. J.,
named Ephraim Pine, appeared at his office
quito early in the morning. Mr. Gould’s
clerk telephoned to his residence that a
New Jersey crank was waiting to see him,
and he decided to stay at home. George
Gould, however, went to the office, but
he declined to allow the crank to Wave
an interview with him. The crank carried a
carpet sack much like the one that Norcrosa
carried into tho office of Russell Sage, and
it called to his mind visions of dynamite.
One of Mr. Gould’s clerks had a talk with
tbe Millville mau and found out that he
wanted $1,500,000 from Mr. Gould in order
to buy the lower part of New Jersey aud
establish a number of factories and build
three or four railroads. Ho declared that
he could make a vast amouut of money for
Mr. Gould and himself. When he found
out that tho prospect of seeing Mr. Gould
that day, or any other day, was not promis
ing he gathered up his carpet-bag and
started back to Millville.
It is ovidont that the number of cranks is
increasing greatly. A dozen years ago only
now and thou one was heard of. Almost
any day now the papers contain an account
of at least one in New York or some other
large city.
The curious thing in connection with
these cranks is the fact that they all want
to be millionaires without much delay.
This shows that the large fortunes which
have been accumulated since the civil war
have had a bad effect upon the people. They
have made the poor dissatisfied with their
condition. Vast wealth in a few hands has
filled their minds during their working
hours with impossible schemes for making
great fortunes. The minds or the majority
of them are not seriously injured by these
visions, but those of a few become unset
tled. Some become so crazy that they have
to be confined in asylums, while others be
come wbat are known as cranks. There is
no doubt that the millionaires are indirectly
responsible for tbe existence of most of the
cranks, and, therefore, it seems only right
that they should be annoyed by them, if
anybody is to be. It is to bo regretted, of
course, that there are any cranks, and it
would be better if some way could be found
for relieving sooiety of them, but as long as
they are permitted to be at largo it seems
but just that the rich, who, to a great ex
tent, can avoid them, rather than the poor,
should bo the subjects of their attack.
Simpson, Peffer, Otis, et al., ardent haters
of Wall street and the “ money power,” are
losing golden moments. While this crank
craze is at its bight all they would have to
do to “own” that famous money center and
“head of devilment” would bo to swap their
store clothes for the raiment they affect at
home, arm themselves with a valise apiece
and invade the street with a hundred trusty
followers similarly accoutered.
The Czar of Russia is a first-rate bear
aud uot altogether as black a bear as he has
been painted. Under his potent influence
the price of grain has been considerably
lowered and a number of speculators suffer
the consequences. But what the specula
tors —rich inen—suffer will be iu loss of
money, while the poor will benefit by thoir
discomfiture.
Mr. Bowers, of California,whose “sporty”
criticism of the democrats iu cougress was
noticed by this paper some time ago, while
not related to the older aud more widely
known Bowers, Right and Left, is probably
well acquainted with them.
The "Bellamy idea” has been embodied
iu the system of a Kansas cooking school.
But Bellamy pies will never, never succeed
the famous pumpkin product;
PERSONAL
T. Thomas Fortune, tbe colored orator and
**ditor, U about to issue a novel with tbe title of
“A Man Without a Race."
Dourer (Yk eras * house in Washington, the
old resilience of ex-Secretary Robeson. is be
lieved by the superstitious to be “roodooed."
Tni name Garxa, borne by the bandit who is
cavorting around the Mexican border, means
both in Spanish and Italian a white heron or
egret.
Prince Christian of Denmark, since his ac
cident on the hunting field, is unfeelingly
alluded to in London as a “bully boy with a
glass eye."
Miss Foster, the daughter of the Secretary
of tue Treasury, is §o resourceful and ao full of
tact that ahe is described by her friends aa the
"emergency girl.
George Suber, aged 94, residing near Barny’s
Corner*, Ind., fought with Gen. Jackson at
New Orleans. In Aunist last he was married.
The old man is atiil stout aud hearty.
Henry T. Oxnard, who has been elected
president of the Association of American Beet
Sugar Froducera, is a diminutive specimen of
manhood, but he makes up for his lack of size
in energy and pluck.
Queen Victoria's favorite retreat, it is said.
Is the private garden of Osborne castle, on the
Isle of Wight. SLe is less exposed there to the
restraints of high nlace and the espionage of
servants than in her other residenc e.
T. O. Walker, who formerly edited the
Bloomfield (la.) Clarion, and abandoned jour
nalism for the purpose of raising bananas in
Honduras, has returned home thoroughly dis
gusted with the banana business, and will soon
be in newspaper harness again.
M. Jules Simon thinks the day is near at hand
in France when there will be as many divorces
as marriages. When asked, many years ago,
why he did not like to marry, the French work
ingman answered: “1 would marry if I could
get a divorce when I thought it necessary."
James McCullough, the last surviving child
of the late tragedian, John McCullough, died in
Philadelphia on Monday. The only survivor of
the actor now living is Letitia McCullough,
daughter of James, who is about 18 years or
age. and to whom the estate, valued at 360,000,
descends by her grandmother's will.
C. W. Btii.es, Ph. D., has been elected corre
sponding member of the Societe de Biologie of
France, to fill the vacancy canned by the death
of Prof. 1,01(1 y of Philadelphia. The Societe
de Biologie is one of tbe most active scientific
bodies in Europe. I)r. Stiles is at present the
only member from the United States.
Reaii Admiral Bancroft Gherardi is a robust
built, keen eyed man of middling hight, with a
broad, high forehead and a tersely trimmed iron
gray beard, and is 59. He is a Louisianian by
birth, and entered tbe navy as midshipman
when only 14 years old. and served for four
years on the frigate Ohio on the Pacific station.
Paul Friedmann, who is the leader in the
effort now being made in connection with the
proposed Jewish colonization in the land of Mid
lan, says ho is not himself a Jew, though of
Jewish descent. He has discussed his scheme
in connection with leading members of the Jew
ish community in England, France and Ger
many, and is carrying it out entirely at his own
expense,
BRIGHT BITS.
He—Would you marry again If I were dead?
She (reproachfully I—You would not have me
thinking about such a subject as that while you
are alive, would you?—.Veto York Press.
George—l have discovered that 1 need you to
be happy.
Jessi —I don’t think papa would hear of my
marrying a needy person. —Sew York Herald.
Yocno Nicely—O, I think that Chawiie
Awmstwong is a pehfect bwute; but his hands
are as big as a laboring man’s.
Yo mgSapley—O, X deteththim; he Ith tho
unladylike.— Boston Courier.
"Did my audience seemed moved by my sing
ing?”
"Yes,” replied the manager. "It did. It was
nearly all moved from the inside to tbe outside
of the theater."— Washington Star.
Professor— ln estimating the multitudes that
have inhabited the eartn we are obliged to con
sider, of coarse, both tho quick and the dead.
Student —That classification would leave out
tho messenger boys altogether, wouldn’t it?
Boston Courier.
Jack Harddp (with unwonted enthusiasm)—
By Jove! 1 see that some fellow is talking about
introducing a bill into the House making it a
misdemeanor to send annoying letters to any
one. Very clever idea that. I’ll have my tailor
locked up for six months, by Jove!— Tit-Bits
Jessie—Georgo is a perfect slave to Ethel.
Bessie—What makes you think so?
Jessie—l Jumped out from behind a portiere
last night. She screamed: "Murder.” The
word was hardly out of her mouth before he
said: "Well, I’ll be hanged'"— Smith, Gray dr
Co.'s Monthly.
First Chappie—l proposed to Miss Somerset
last night.
Second Chappie—Deah me 1 and did the deab
girl acemt you?
First Chappie—Yaas; but I bwoke the ewease
in my twousers, and 1 feel so badly about it.
Clothier and t urnisher.
“JlEßEisatoy locomotive,’’ said the sales
man eagerly, "that I think would afford your
little nephew a great deal of fun."
“No,” said Russell Sage, as a look of pain shot
over his face, “I wouldn't let him fool with
that thing. It works with a crank. Show me
something else. St. Josevh Daily Aeies.
Junior— That now delivery clerk of ours Isn’t
h re yet. I’m ai’aid he’s a tad one.
fe'en or—Don't judge hastily. Appearances
are sometimes deceitful, you know.
Junior—Yes; but I’m judging by the disap
pearance of sovcu new hats he tooK out to de
liver yesterday.— Smith, Gray <£ Co.'s Monthly.
First Lady—l raw your husband meet you on
Fulton street yesterday, and J noticed that he
removed his hat while speaking with j ou. lad -
mired hi n for it. Very few men do that.
Second Lady—l remember; I told him in the
morning to have his hair cut. aud he was show
ingn:i* fiat ho obeyed.— Smith , Gray Co.'s
Monthly.
Miss McTagg (leading lady In the amateur
theatricals)—Anybody can see that your mus
tache is a false one.
Mr. bayless (leading gentleman)—lt’s no more
false than your complexion. In point of
caturaluess I’ll put it against your blooming
cheek any day.
MissMcTagg—No, you won't, sir! The idea.
Chicago Tribune.
CURRENT COMMENT
The Log\c of the Situation.
Fiom the Springfield Republican (lnd.).
As between Mr. Blaine and Mr. Hill, or be
tween Mr. llarrisou and Mr. Hill, the independ
ent voter would, by logic of his character, be
compelled to vote for the republican.
The Now French Tariff.
From the Philadelphia Ledger ilnd.).
France's new tariff excites more feeling than
the McKinley bill because it more directly affects
the prices of the necessaries of life. The duty on
mutton, for example, has been multiplied 10.
and it is not littely that the home product will
be able to supply the demand, so that prices are
sure to be advauced. The Parisian talk about
tradesmen using the tariff as an excuse for rais
ing prices beyond the increase of duty amounts
to very little That might be done temporarily,
but competition would soon restore prices to
their proper relation to cost, tariff or no tariff.
The Twentieth Century Senator.
TYom the Vicksburg Herald ( Dem.).
A Mississippian enjoys the distinction of being
the only United States senator with a term run
ning into the twentieth century. That distinc
tion was thrust upon him by his fellow citizens,
by an almost unanimous vote, after this journal
and others of patriotism had persistently urged*
them to do it." The congratulations are mutual,
for while tr.e able and popular senator is thus
especially distinguished amongst American
statesmen, his follow citizens have a servant to
work for them equipped with gratitude, zeal
an l long experience. Mississippi maintains her
reputation of rewarding capable and faithful
congressmen. The name of our twentieth cent
ury senator is E. C. Walthall.
Egan’s Responsibility.
From Harper's Weekly (lnd.).
If our government had amicably accepted the
situation, had recalled Mr. Egan, and replaced
him under the new Chilean government by an
American minister of high character, carrying
the cordial welcome of the great republic to its
smaller sister, the Chilean feeling would have
been friendly instead of hostile, and the lament
able event which has brpught us to the verge of
war would have been avoided. Had our disposi
tion be *n really friendly, had there been no poli
tics in the business, nothing but a determina
tion of honorable peace, Chile would not have
been forced into the dilemma in which she was
uufortunately placed, and w e should hav<* been
spared this absurd result of our proposed l J aa-
American millennium of last year.
Wolff's First Contribution to Flgraro
The statement of the lnte Albert Wolff's first
contribution to the Paris Figaro would form an
interesting addition to any new collection cf
“The Struggles of Authors." The article was
sent in unsolicited, and Wolff, who was horri
bly poor, watchea huegrily for its appearance
At length it ass published, and the gratified
journalist walked down to the office to claim
the $29(100 francs) which he had been told was
the regular remuneration for articles of the de
scription he bad written To his dismay the
clerk: handed him $7 50 <37 francs 80 centimes*
Wolff expostulated with tbe cashier and then
lost bis tamper. Forgetting his empty pockets,
he declared that he would rather make VtHe
rn eosant—the famous editor of the Figaro —a
present of his article than to accept so paltry a
sum. On returning to his lodgings, however,
he thought better of his resolution. He had
nothing to eat, no money and little credit, and
it w&s obviously to his advantage to put bis
pride in his pocket. Accordingly he *at down
and wrote as follows to the publisher of the
Figaro:
“Sir: I have just been Informed that an Im
post er has presented himself at your office and
applied for the money due me for my article
(8? francs 80 centimes). Of course bethought
the remuneration would be 100 francs. I do not
care myself how large or small the honorarium
is. for I lay greater stress upon the fact that
my article was considered worthy of publica
tion in your journal. That knowledge Is more
precious to me than all the treasures of the
world."
A few days later he received a check for 100
francs, aocompauied by a letter from the great
Villemessant himselr, stating that 37 francs 80
centimes were In payment for the literary con
tribution, while the balance was for the ingen
ious letter be bad written. Tbe story has the
merit of being authentic, says the London
Graphic , for M. Wolff Llmself told it.
What He Found.
A group of merry commercial travelers were
seated In the smoking room, says the Chicago
Tribune, when suddenly Bodkins volunteered a
story of a remarkable find he once had. “When
I was a young man," commenced tbe irrepressi
ble B ■, “1 was employed in a large house in
the city, and, as usual with persons of that age,
I fell in love with a young lady, and in due
course of time was engaged. About two
months before our marriage was to take place
I was suddenly sent to Australia on very im
portant business, occasioned by the death of one
of the firm in that country. I took a hasty aud
affectionate leave of my intended, with
the promise to write to each other
often. I was detained somewhat longer
than I expected, but just before I
sailed for home I bought a handsome and valu
able ring, intending it as a ’coming home' pres
ent for my sweetheart. As I was nearing the
shore and reading the paper the pilot had
brought on board, curiously enough my eyes
fell on the ‘marriages,’ and there I saw an an
nouncement of |her marriage with another—a
fellow 1 knew very well, too—which so enraged
me that in my passion I throw the ring over
board. A few days afterward I was dining at
this very hotel; fish was served up, and in eating
it I bit off something hard, and what do you
suppose it was?" “The diamond ring!" ex
claimed several. “No," said the merry Bod
kins. preserving the same gravity, “It was a
fishbone."
Replevying: Teeth.
When constables get together they pass the
hours telling stories of remarkable attachments
and replevins they have made, says the St.
Louis Chronicle. Constables Cozhlan, Murphy.
Hand, Dolan, Sheehan, and a dozen others were
thus engaged when Constable Matt Sheehan
told one that capped the climax. “Two years
ago," aid he, “1 had two very sore fingers, and
I nver till now told the boys how they were
hurt. There was a dentist on Oltve street that
hail sold a woman a set of false teeth on time
payments. She didn’t keep up the payments,
and the dentist came to us to get out a writ of
replevin. I went to execute it. 1 knocked at the
door ‘Are you Mrs. Smith?’ ‘Yes.’ “Well. I
have a writ of replevin here from Dr. Jones for
a set of teeth you bought from him and haven’t
paid for.’ *You ju6t try and get them then! 1
said the tall woman as she p-nched her lips to
gether in defiance. ■ ‘Well, madam,’ I replied,
‘I hope you’ll make me no trouble. I'll have to
get those teeth.’ ‘Your Augers will be bit if
you do.’ she flashed. After 1 saw all argument
was futile I called in a witn* ss in tbe shape of a
policeman, and we proceeded to open tnat wo
man’s mouth. Finally she seemed very doc le
and opened her mouth. I put in my hand,
when suddenly those chops closed, and my!
how my fingers did hurt. The policeman got
out the teetn finally, but I carried my right
hand In a sling for two weeks after,"
And Lindley Murray WeDt.
To a Fark Row waiter belongs the proud dis
tinction of uttering what is probably the most
ungrammatical sentence ever evolved from the
brain of illiterate man, says the New York Com
mercial Advertiser.
Ho is a toiler in a restaurant which offers a
bill of fare of Spartan simplicity; so simple, iu
fact, that the waiters memorize it in the morn
ing and chant it like a little litany for the benefit
of each newcomer. Among the habitues is a
parsimonious old man who breakfasts on beef
and potatoes, has the same dish for dinner, and
sups by way of chango on potatoes and beef.
He is very crockety and none of the waiters
like him,
Saturday afternoon be took his seat at his
usual table and gave his usual order to anew
and rather case-hardened plate tosser.
“Waiter," he piped, as the distus wore
slammed down before him, ‘this beer isn’t suf
ficiently underdone."
With a smile of contempt, the servitor bore
the viands back to the kitchen window and re
turned a moment later without having chauged
them.
“Say, old gent," he hissed through his clinched
teeth, * *we ain't got no beef what's no under
doner I"
Bulllvan ns a Poet.
By the way, says the New York Commercial
Advertiser , some enemy of Sullivan’s has hit
him a terrible blow under the belt by ascribing
the following lines to him:
We stood before each other—
We had to scrap or die.
1 saw his resolution
As I looked into his flashing eye.
Then he began fighting
With all his might and main
And the crowd behind was crying:
“Bravo: hit him again."
And then he struck out wildly—
The blow just grazed my head;
But when his seconds picked him up
They cried out he was dead.
But quickly they revived him.
Though he came up quite shy;
And 1 saw he's bested
As I looked at his blackened eye.
The seventeenth round was ended;
He Ml with a terrible cry.
I looked him over closely.
But 1 couldn't see no eye.
A Bit of War 1 ime Humor.
J. Southgate Lemmon, a prominent Balti
more lawyer, tells a droll story on Nicholas P.
Watkins, one of the editorial writers on the
Baltimore American. Mr. Lemmon’s brother
and Mr. Watkins were both privates in the
First Maryland Regiment, 0. 8. A., ana the first
time that body of troops got into a position for
business Mr. Lemmon, who was just behind
Watkins, accidentally put a bullet through his
comrade's hat and blew it about six feet iu
front of tho line. Mr. Watkins got up off his
knees, and although bullets wore viciously
singing overhead, he recovered his
headpiece, a felt concern. put
it ou, and, resuming his place in the
front rank, turned around and said: “Look
here. Billy Lemmon, I wish you'd keep the
muzzle or that derned old fuse of yours turned
up in the air. You always was a fool with a,
gun. anyhow. O. you needn’t apologize; ju>t
buy me anew hat to morrow " The vicissi
tude of war are so uncertain that the hat was
not replaced until a short time ago. when Mr.
Watkins and Mr. Lemmon met. Mr. Watkins
was soon the possessor of a brand-new silk hat.
Belle—You didn’t call around to escort me
home from prayer meeting, as you promised.
Cholly—Yes, I did. too. But I’ll be shot if I
oould find the stage entrance to your church.
New York Herald.
/igalfl Baking
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Used in Millions of Homes— 40 Years the Standard
FLAVORING EXTRACTS.
Constant
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best articles if their custom
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customers want Dr. Price’s
Delicious Flavoring Extracts
they can obtain them of any
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obtained and the satisfaction
gained more than compen
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in' buying them.
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
Not long since the people of Achlll, or Eagle
Island, lying off the coast of Ireland, In County
Mayo, were accorded a privilege rare In the
annals of the human race -nothing less than
the uncommon sight of a stranded "devil fish."
The animal* although visibly shrunken and dis
torted, measured as follows: Length of ten
tacles, or long arm, 30 feet each; circumference
of body, 60 feet; circumference of arm near
body, 4 feet each. Only four other instances
of tbe appearance of this ftransre monster In
British waters have been recorded.
Bernhardt and the English queen have very
decided Ideas on beds and their equipment. The
queen travels always with her own special
sleeping couch among her luggage. Bernhardt
is content with packing about the country her
own bed linen, an eiderdown quilt of pale pink
silk, and a great collection of pillows of ail
sizes, covered with finest linen, frilled with
lace and elaborately monogramed. They are
the laMt things to be packed when she starts,
tho first to be unpacked when she arrives at her
destination. A man, the husband of her maid,
has charge of all this packing and unpacking,
and is responsible for the costly gowns and
celebrated jewels.
California will astonish and interest visitors
to the world’s fair in 1893 with two elegant
railway cars made entirely from the trunk of a
singletree. The work is In progress, and not
only is the scheme perfectly practicable, but
tho trunk must be pared down a little to bring
it to the right size for passenger cars. It is or
the famous Sequoia gigantea species, is one of
the big trees of Tulare county, and the origina
tors and managers of the scheme are Messrs.
Doyle, Meyers and Bachman, of that county.
The tree is to be bored and sawed down, accord
ing to the method in use. precautions being
taken to have it fall so as not to spll iter; then
out of the best part of the trunk sections are to
be sawed off the length of passenger oars. The
work is then to proceed by making one side flat
for the bottom, cutting in the doors and win
dows. then boring, sawing aud adzing out the
interior, rounding the roof, polishing and fin
ishing. The bark and all the part cut out will be
made into souvenirs.
In a letter addressed to “The Curious Man"
of the St. Louis Revublic, J. S. of 580 Olive
street writes as follows: “I want to coll up the
wheel once more and try and convince you that
you are wrong iu regard to the top of a wheel
moving fater than the bottom, instantaneous
photography to the contrary notwithstanding.
I demonstrated, to my own satisfaction at
lead, that the theory was wrong by taking my
bicyceand bracing it up about half an inch
from the floor, and then turning the
wheel. Under these circumstances there
could be no difference, yet the top seemed to
turn faster than the bottom. The whole mat
ter de pendfe upon what point you view tbe
wheel from. If you look at* the center and
from that point outward, all around, th s re is no
difference. Viewed from aujr other point tie
opposite point will appear to be going slower.
This is bee a is© when you are standing with
your eyes at or nearly een with the top of a
wheel- say a foot away from it—you are look
ing through spokes in the upper part and
downward along the spokes in the lower par:.
Trie delusion comes from the fact that it ap
peal's as if you see more spokes in the lower
part of tho wheel in the same length of time
than you do in the upper.’*
John Sewey of the little seaside village of
Noank, Tonn , has a wonderful old parrot and is
very proud of it. It is 36 years old, but spry and
handsome yet. Thirty-t-ix years ago Mr. Sewey
took it out of its nest in a thick forest in Mex
ico a r and brought it north with him on his ship.
It speaks English as fluently as and rather mo. e
correctly than any one in Noank, and in defer
ence to the piety and moral inclinations of the
rest of the villagers it alwavs swears in Span
ish aud without ra sing its voK e. It listens in
telligently to conversation and knows all the
gossip of the place. Its tabE manners are its
most remarkable accomplishment. It eats
with the family, sitting at ihe tab© in
a chair that just fits it, with a napkin
tucked about its neck, and balances itself
on one foot, holding a spoon with the
other claw and fee Is itself very neatly with the
spoon. It parrakes of whatever food is on the
hoard, but prefers ice croam and other dainties.
If there is ice cream on the table it must have
some of it at once, otherwise the bird will eat
uotning; after the cream has been served It is
ready for the rest of the meal. Aside from its
crotchet about tackling ice cream before other
food, it is a well-behaved bird, and its temper is
never ruffled. Mr. ]sewey thinks the parrot is
the smartest and finest bird in Connecticut,
and Polly evidently thinks nobody else is quite
as good as her master. When he is at homo
she has little to do with other folks. She l.kes
to stand ou his s louldcr on one leg with the
other drawn up under his wing, and she cocks
her head aud listens to his tain with a quizzical
look.
I have seen numerous specimens of our
saurian no longer than an ordinary lead pencil;
this was in the season of their hatching, says a
writer in the Century. I have also seen a few
living specimens about 16 feet in length. In
the autumn of 1875 1 obtained for the late
Effingham Lawrence, member of congress and
commissioner from Louisiana to the centennial
exhibition, the dried skin of an alligator which,
after at least 15 inches had been cut from
the snout and skull, and 10 inches from the end
or the tail, etill measured 17 feet 10 inches in
length. Allowing more than and inches for shrink
age in drying, this monster of his Kind alive
must, have measured more than 20 feet. He was
killed in the lower part of Bayou Lafourche.
Probably the largest alligator ever seen iu
Louisiana was killed in a small lake on the plan
tation of H. J. Feltus, In Concordia parish Ac
cording to tbe statement of Mr. Feltus, now of
Baton Rouge, this specimen measured 82 feet in
length. The great reptile had long been famous
for milts around, having destroyed numbers of
hogs and hounds owned in the neighborhood of
his retreat. He had become so wary, from the
number of ineffectual 6hots fired at him, as to
be almost unapproachable. Finally he fell a
victim to a long shot fired from a Missifsippi
rifle in the hands of Mr. Feltus, who had per
severed in bunting him, having been the great
est loser by his depredations. Tbe huge car
cask of this reptile was towed to the l>ank by a
boat. It required the strength of a pair of
mules and a stout rope to haul it ashore, where
the measurement was made with the result
noted above.
BAKING fOffllKß.
MEDICAL.
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THE JEWELER,
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