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BAB'S BRIGHT SPICE.
X,ENT makes no difference in
hib lively chatter
TS9 woman With a 6tiff Shirt-She
Wonders Why the Collar Tiokles
gr So—The Story of a Modern
Frou-Frou— A Woman Talks of Love.
When Pretty Woman Sleeps—Mrs.
Vanderbilt's Dreamy Couch—Where
Lillian Bussell Sleeps—Mrs. Lang
try’* Chippendale Bed—Little Reso
lutions for Ua All.
iCowriqht.)
Krw York, March 26.—The cry for a
long time ha* been that woman was taking
the bread out of man's mouth by assuming
his occupations. It was said that she could
write as well as or better than he did; that
w a politician she was far above him; that
ai a diplomat she would have settled the
Bering sea trouble long ago; and if ever
she got hold of tbe money in the treasury
she would govern it in a way that would
please *ll the United States. But, after a
great deal of thinking (and when a woman
thinks the thinks hard enough to burst the
buttons off her frock), she has oorne to the
conclusion that there is anew occupation
open to man. It is that of lady’s maid.
And tha reason for its existence is what
every knowing person would oall the shirt
hsbit; that is to say, that the masculine
shirt, purs and simple, has become a neces
sity in the wardrobe of every woman.
WOMAN WITH A STIFF SHIRT.
Its assumption, however, involves a strug
gle. This is the way it all came about:
Lovely woman, who this year wishes to look
particularly smart, and to hare an air of
decided tnmnesa, goes to a sbirtmaksr, a
really, righty shirtmaker, and announces,
with a swagger, that she has come to be
measured for some shirts. Ten to one she
never bad a shirt on before. The whole
time that wretched man is measuring her
■he tells him that those that she got in Lon
don were not fitted that way, and that they
measured her differently in Paris. These
■hirts are made exactly like those belonging
to the head of the family, with one ex
ception; that is, they have a string run in
the back, which pulls them into plaoe; they
open down the front, have the cuffs and col
lars regularly on them, and, altogether,
when they come home, look just as smart
as possible; and the shi tmaker, being of
this century, charges $ 1 50 more for making
each. This is, I presume, because it took
lejs material, and because they are for a
woman.
A MAN AS A WOMAN’S MAID.
Now begins the occupation of a man.
Madam has a cloth skirt and a cutaway
coat to be worn with these shirts. The
shirt is on, and tbe first thing heard from
ter dressing room is a call for Charlie to
come and see what makes the collar tickle
•o. After Charlie has assured her that it is
because it is well starched, she lapses into
nlence, Theq she says in a low and very
pleading voice: “Would you mind putting
the studs in for me?" He does not mind,
and after that he ties her scarf, sticks the
pin in the way it ought to be, aud then she
■hows him the tab with her initials on it,
which she fastens to a band on her skirt.
Charlie tells her he don’t arrange his this
way, and rather scoffs at her, but after
she is all dressed, and he sees her beautiful
delight in her shirt, that is really and truly
like a man’s, he will want to accept the
position of lady’s maid to overy young
woman who has a really and righty shirt
front.
FROU-FROU IN MODERN LIFE.
By the by, do you over gc to funerals?
Generalizing, I think it is wrong. As the
darkies say, one funeral makes many. But
the other day I was induced to go to one be
cause I knew the love storyof the woman who
lay there placidly asleep forever. Her hus
band bent over her and wept bitterly, and
all that 1 could say to myself was that it
was remorse. But afterward I heard of
something that happened just before death
came into that house, and it made me a
little gentle in my judgment of the man.
You remember tbe story of Frou-Frou.
Well, there has beeu many a Frou-Frou
who lived and died in your time and mine,
and among them is tee woman who went to
sleep only such a little while ago. Her life
was a curious one. Wheu she was very
YOUNG SHE LIVED IN PARIS,
and there mot a young man; there was an
unfortunate story, a duel off in the south
of France, and a little baby’s grave. When
the young girl came back to this country
no one, of course, knew anything about
this, aud in a very short time a rich man
had asked her to be his wife. She went to
her mother, askiug of her that the story
might be told him, then If he wished to
marry her she was willing. The mother
promised that it should be—but it never
"as. Two days after her marriage she said
something to per husband about It, and to
her horror discovered he knew nothing of
it, so she told him, and from that day on he
never spoke to her.
Years came and went, she grew bitter,
the world called her sarcastic, and never
supposed that any reason existed for the
cutting words she said, because, as they
claimed,
SHE HAD PLENTY OF MONEY,
a handsome husband and a boautif ul home.
One night she went to see “Frou-Frou.”
end listening to the story as told by the
f retest genius of the day, there came to
er this thought: “If I speak to my hus
band agaiu, perhaps he might forgive me.”
So that night she went to his room, told
him how she felt. And pleaded that her
youth and ignorance might excuse her
crime; insisted on her great anxiety that he
should know it, and then, well he stooped
over, kissed her, and told her that the next
day they would begin life again, and begin
anew life—a life full of love and happiness,
che went back to her room, threw herself
on her bed, and in the morning when they
came to waken her, she was lying asleeD—
m that sleep from which there was no
waking, and on ter face was tue sweetest
of smiles, so that dead she looked as young
as she did when she stood a bride beside her
sweetheart,
A LITTLE WORD: IT IS LOVE.
! People go and see plays and never think
ust what the result may bo; never think
ust whom in the audience a part of the
P>y may hit, and never know whether the
effect produced on some heart is going to be
lasting or not. You think tbe man never
■oved the woman? I tell you he did. Love
ka very queer thing in this world. There
srs people who think they know what love
when all they know is affection, which.
y the by, is not a bad thing, but to
f cr real, absolute, enduring
ve, one must study a man. He is
•spable of putting in his heart and shutting
from tbe eyes of everybody an intense
1 l e, keeping it there aud bringing it out
•hen required; and what he wants is to
niset the woman who knows how to bring
Jist this love, and when she gets it knows
its full worth. However, it may be taken
granted, if two people who have tastes
Somewhat alike, eacn ogreeahl* to look at,
*c'i well-dressed, which means pleasantly
O’ewed, are throwu a sufficiently long time
m each other’s society, that love will be the
„ u *t. It will be a successful love if only
joe man love*. He it such a cranky animal
‘t*t once he knows how a woman loves him
“ wearies of her. Bhs is wise if
°e keeps some charm always in
•starve, so that he is continually
•specting and is never disappointed. You
,“ ow w,lat I mean, it would be
JJ*} * Pousse cafe; tbe brandy ftlr'-s you up,
tb *o TOU get a teste of tbs mint, then
zj®* • luscious mouthful of nougat bitter
almonds, then comas yellow chartrauae,
“n there is a deep red raspberry, and
a clear, ooid. white, sweet Maraschino
ue woman you love mutt offer as much
•riety to j wt , ijo b dainty sips. KM, tike
% ' L “; u * t be formed of the deii ate liqueurs
uicn tee different batons have con trues
ry’ r uooy nobody ever ettempe to write
be levs. Isn't itl That u Utt
Ovid, but was not it a clsver Frenchman
who summed up everything, and told
women mistakes, who said:
“The woman who loves us is a bore; the
woman we love is an angel?”
WHEN PRETTY WOMAN SLEEPS.
How do you sleep? I don't mean, by ask
ing you this, whether you sleep well, or
what your favorite soporific is, but I mean
do you sleep after the fashion of the day,
or do you just pitch yourself on a bed, close
your eyee, and never mind whether the
house catches on fire or not? Queen Eliz
abeth must have been a very uncomforta
ble person to sleep with, for in those days
they did not have night dreams; that is to
say, they were very funny ones. Her fa
vorite one was of purple velvet, trimmed
elaborately with gold lace, and I have
always thought tbs*, is why she remained
a virgin queen. We have changed that all
nowadays. In the first place, your bed
must be of brass for health, then it must be
properly draped wit a whatever you can
afford, the most inexpensive costing the
most. ’there’s a bull for you. The
reason for this is that Mademoiselle Inno
cence must have her bed draped with
white muslin, which does not cost much by
the yard, but as it does cost a great deal to
make up the draperies, and as they have to
be kept as immaculate as lilies. In the end
they are inure expensive than heavy bro
cades. Gossip telis that Mrs. William K.
Vanderbilt's bed lo >ksiiKe a huge hearts; it
stands in the center of the room on a raised
platform, and you walk up two steps to get
into it. When it was first brought over
from the other side it was lined with an
enormous plate glass mirror; undoubtedly
the purenaser had not been told that French
ladies did not use this style of bed, but it
was soon discovered, and a rosa-colored satin
took its place. Gossip says the room itself
is bare aud cold looking, and all that it sug
gests is the opinion given of Raphael’s “Ma
donna” by Carlvle’s maid—“lt’s Expne
slve."
MRS. VANDERBILT’S DREAMY COUCH.
Mrs. Frederick Vanderbilt’s bed is said to
be a dainty dream, having draperies of lace
and faint, rosy stuffs about it, until it looks
like a great pink rose, inviting one to slum
ber in its heart. The room has a delightful
individuality; the favorite pictures and the
101 little belongings that a woman likes be
ing here, there and everywhere. The room
itself tells of the popularity of the woman,
for Mrs. Frederick is to-day the best-Uked
of any member of the Vanderbilt family.
LILLIAN RUSSELL’S DOWNY COUCH.
Lillian Russell puts her golden head on
pillows draped on each side by pale blue
draperies, the room Itself being in blue and
white, with here and there a hint of light
pink,so that the picture of the pretty woman
as Frou-Frou, in the costume worn by her
in the “Grand Duchess,” are suggested
by it.
MRS. LANGTRY’S CHIPPENDALE BED.
Lily Langtry’s bed is a Chippendale cne.
The draperies are a dove-colored brooade,
and the upper curtains are of boltiug cloth,
those at the top being embrodered m pop
pies and those at the foot in morning glories.
Her dressing table is drap.d with bolting
cloth, embroidered in many-hued flowers,
and the curtains on each side of tbe mirror
have, after the French fashion, a trailing
vine of artificial lilies, so that when the
beauty looks into the mirror she seas one
Lily framed by many more.
WHEN SLOWLY GO THOSE HOURS.
There cannot be too many facoy cushions
in one’s bedroom, nor too many fur rugs.
Many women who tire of the silk and lace
bedcovers use large fur rugs in its place.
These, of course, are only suitable, how
ever, for winter. Somebody has said: “I
wonder if they sleep any better for the 1 eds
being so fine and tne cushions so soft.” But
I tell you this, my friend: One may have
the softest bed in the world, and yet the
rose leaf hidden In it may reach the flesh
and annoy the soul. It is just as hard to
6tay awake all night it your bed Is
draped with brocade as it is it you are
on an old wooden bedstead, with a
small headboard, and none at the foot.
Wherever we are, whatever may be our
position in life, we have got to make the
best of it. This inakiug the best of it is not
a very easy thing, by any means, especially
when it Is worry, trouble and sorrow from
every source. But, you know, making the
best of it Is not so hard if you have tried it
onoe or twice. There are people who would
not like to be electrocuted, but probably
after the third time they would not object,
and this is the way we have to look at it,
not only just this Lent, but all the time.
LITTLE RESOLUTIONS FOR US ALL.
It is just as well to make the best of
everything when you can’t help it, but you
can try to give a little assistance at first.
It is just as well to make the best of a
scolding wife, but before you Rettle down to
it see what a little whip suasion will do.
It is just as well to make the best of a
chattering neighbor, but before you cat her
acquaintance be careful to give her nothing
to gossip about.
It is just as well to make the best of a
scanty head of hair, but before doing that
see if you can’t mix in with it a little from
tbe shop.
It is just as well to make the best of store
teeth, because they never ache.
It is just as well to make the best of a bad
dinner, but there is no law m the land that
will keep you from swearing at the cook.
It is just as well to make the best of an
ugly woman; sometimes she has more brains
tbaa beauty.
It is just as well to make the best of a
tiresome man; you may want his vote some
day.
It is just as well not to have too strong
opiuions; it is less troublesome to change
your mind.
It is just as well to make tho best of a bad
bargain, no matter what form it may come
uuder; but please don’t believe for one min
ute that you will find on the bargain coun
ter the writer of this short sermon, wno
signs herself, yours for the best, Bab.
“SOAPY” SMITH'S CLOSE CALL.
The “Louisiana Kid’’ Went Gunning
for Him With Blood In His Eye.
Creede (Col.iSpecial to Denver News.
There was considerable excitement in
Jimtown last evening, caused by a gun play
in which several parties were interested
and several others mixed up. A young
man known in the oarup as “Louisiana Kid”
went into “Soapy” Smith’s plaoe, aud,
after losing some money on the games,
made a big kick and received a blow over tbe
head from the bntt of a fi-saooter for his
trouble aud was fired out of the place.
Thinking be had been abus ’d be laid in
wait for Soapy’s outfit and as soon as a
couple of them showed up he opened ud
on them with his gun. They returned his
fire and then the shooting became general.
After the gun play was over It was found
that Soapy’s manager had both thumbs
shot off. a ball through his arm and a slight
wound in his body. Tbe “Louisiana Kid”
received three balls, one in tbe head aud
the other two in tbe body. He then made
good bis escape and up to date nothing has
been heard of him. Last seen of him be
passed through Waterous & Bannigan’s
saloon and took up VVasm's toll road to
ward Wagon Wheel gap. Soapy’s mana
ger was taken away from the camp on tbe
train to-day.
The affair Is trying to be hushed up by
tbe tin horns and the gambling fraternity
ot the camp. There is a report current to
the effect that if tbe affrays are not stopped
all of the gamblers wilt be run out of the
camp. Tbe promiscuous shooting camp
very near causing tb death of one of the
peaceful citizens of the oamp. John
Kepper, who is about to start a restaurant
in tbe camp, was sitting on a building
across tbe street snd a hall came tbrougn
tbe building and cut off both tbe rear legs
cf tbs chair be was sitting on and caused
him to suddenly find himself on the floor
very mueb to bis surprise and discomfort.
Tbe report that a man was banged on the
eobool laud this evening cause 1 nearly all
tbe camp to rush down there, but it tnrned
out to be merely a fake to draw tne people
down there by tbe saloonkeepers, and
merely aud effigy of a man.
If you are UiUpuo, taka Buouam's
fiMA-vi 4,
THE MORNING NEWS: SUNDAY,,
FiADS AND FAXCIES.
A BRILLIANT BREAKFAST—A SER
PENTINE SEASON OF STYLES.
A Clever Monologueet—A Mistake In
a Nom de Plums—A Paradise of Tea
Gowns—A New Patti—The Beautiful
Home of Mrs. Minor Griswold.
( Copyright. 189*. by the United Press. )
New York, March 26.—“ Such a break
fast!”
“So you did enjoy yourself. Tell me all
about it.”
Tbe first speaker leaned back in her plush
cushioned, easy chair la the gorgeous parlor
of the St. James hotel on Broadway, and
proceeded to describe the pleasures of her
morning’s entertainment to her friend.
“In the first place,” said she. “being an
Eliugbshwomau, I was much taken back
by the tremendous variety of eatables. I
don’t think I ever nso many before ex
cept at a Parisian dinner party. Why they
should call it a breakfast is more than I
know, for ail the guests wore magnificent
gowns, the table was grandly lighted and
decorated, and there again is a custom 1
never saw before, having tbe table illumi
nated with lights iu the day time.”
“O—” broke in her friend, “it’s all the
style, those candles with shades to match tbe
decorations of the room and the table linen
are all tbe go. The light is so very thin
and soft that it really is nothing but a glim
mer and lends a sort of mysticism which is
delightfnl.”
“Quite clever idea, I am sure,” answered
her friend, evidently well pleased with the
explanation. “But as I was saying, we had
seven courses beginning with fruit and end
ing with ices and cakes and light wines—all
tbe while beautiful hidden music came to us
from behind a group of graoeful palm trees.
1 do think you American women are
the gem of entertainers. I never bad such
an all round suocessful aud elegant time in
all my life.”
This season might be oalled tbe “serpent”
season, as far as fashion is concerned, for it
does really seem as though tbe miuds of
polite society women were given over to the
idea of using something of that curious but
fascinating reptile in everything they do.
There is tbe serpentine quadrille, which
drives all the young debutantes nearly orazy
with delight, it is so Intoxicating and grace
ful; then every belle has a serpent green
evening gown, and if she is very, very
wealthy she embroiders it all over with
emerald gems representing tbe scales of
a serpent. On tbe chatelaine belt
hangs a baby “serpent,” serpent rings are
all the rage aud gloves of the latest cut and
hue distinctly match the dusty, mystic,
green of tbe serpent. “O, how dreadful,”
said a young friend of mine after being
told by tbe saleslady in one of the big stores
about tbe snaky fashion in gloves. “I shall
never, never in the world wear a pair, I
should always imagine the gloves would
take form and swallow me up. Why don't
the glove-makers imitate something beau
tiful in nature, it seems everything in style
grows more morbid each year, a little
while ago it was alligators, now It Is
snakes.”
Monologue reading as a form of amusing
is growing in the eyes of the public. Very
few people are able to properly and natur
ally imitate several different characters,
relying only on the play of their features to
produce a now Identity in the minds of tbeir
audiences; but Miss Jennio O’Neill Potter,
the versatile westerner, who lately gained
so much prominence in London, seems to
have found the hidden secret of changing
her features at a second’s notice. She is
winning laurel wreathes of fame at every
entertainment given iu blew York drawing
rooms.
It was after a musicale at one of the noted
literary women’s homes. A young girl
graduate sat eating breakfast witti her
grandfather, a gentleman of the old school,
who didn’t believe much in wornon in pub
lic life and less In musicales.
"I have something very important to
tell you, grandfather, something very im
portant."
“Well, what is it little girl? Have you
used up all your pocket money? Do you
want to take a trip to the moon? Are you
dying to study law? Shall I have to send
to Africa for a Bengal tiger in place of
Fido!”
“No, grandfather, I’m in love.”
There was a dead silence.
The old man stared at his granddaughter
speechless. His pleasant smile faded. There
was sadness displayed in every featured his
wrinkled face.
“You are what 1"
“I am in love. His name is Perkins—
Henry Perkins.”
“My dear, horrible, horrible, I can never
allow It; why, Perkins? the name is enough
to drive me to my grave.”
“O, that isn’t his real name."
"No?”
“Then he has several names. Just as I
thought, these literary rousioales —with
tbeir polished scoundrel guests.”
"O, grandpa, you aro wrong, his real
name is Mayberry, but he’s a writer, you
know, an author, and he has a nom do
plume. ”
“O, Mayberry, why I know him well, the
son of the lawyer, yes, yes.”
“And its ail right. Do you care if I fall
in love with him J”
“Not a bit, not a bit. He comes from
good old stook, I'm not a bit surprised to
hear he is an author, his grandfather before
him was a good old Jacksonian democrat
and made flying good speeches.”
There is a perfect paradise of new tea
gowns on exhibition by the noted modistes
for spring and summer wear. The soft,
shimmering India and china silks used have
designs of flowers and leaves all through
the striped meshes of the silk. Princess
style still reigns and holds as firm sway in
the hearts of the wearers as ever; every
body decides that do other style so thor
oughly becomes a hostess. The sleeves
of these gowns are no longer con
spicuous by their oddity or their super
flous trimmings; the plainest pat
tern imaginable is the most genteel, and tbe
quiet, unassuming English sleeves with the
lace cuff is displaced on all the new im
portations. Traines exist from five inches
to three yards. They give a majesty to the
wearer, who is tall and slender and a dig
nity to tbe plump, well-developed matron.
The “Carmencita” cape, which is com
posed of three loose cape draperies arranged
one over the other of different shades of
broadcloth, constitutes the latest outside
wrap for Easter wear.
Ribbon bows are exclusively used for hair
garniture, and jeweled tiaras, or ornaments
are seldom seen. The hair itself is waved
aud puffed and frizzled and ourled all out
of its original shape. Silver hair is now the
grandest and most sought after shade for
middle aged and old ladies. No longer do
the passe ones resort to tbe golden hair
wash or the auburn dye—those wno have
been foolish enough to dally with these
toilet fakes in the past, are now sighing
for the natural silver whioh nature crowns
the old. Puffs arranged in groups of two
or three at tbe side of the bead are exceed
ingly becoming to the spare faced woman,
while braids arranged up and. down from
the crown of the head bighten the grace
fulness of tbe fat woman. Mines still adore
the low loose 001 lin tbe neok, and very
young school girls wear long braids orua
metiled wltb different colored ribbon bows.
Riding habits for spring are made with
skirts much longer than last year; they fall
at least a dozen inohe* below tba stirrup.
The bodies, too. Is very much changed,
where dark colors were mostly worn light,
one might sey bright colors, will be seen,
crime m and navy blue being eo far tbe pre
ferred shads*.
O ie favorite bodice is of jersey cloth fit
ting oioeely and firmly to tbe body, another
is the smooth, atdrung broadcloth, narrowly
incited, and still another, but leee seen, is
the Uaojt velvet dm gu onoe Mi e while ra
lieved by a white shirt boeom. Tbe favor*
Its hat Is the malm or yachting hat, or the
beaver with a gauze tiL
-# -J ne ■ ■ A i“7
A sweet costume for an afternoon tea can
be made of black foulard, striped with pale
may flower pink; plain ekirt, trimmed
round the foot with two small lace
flounce*.
The great desideratum with society
womeo it not to be dressed like soy at their
friends, to gain tba reputation of being
eccentric and out of the common; then
folks get t wondering what they will wear
next, and they become quite conspicuous in
the art of dressing. In this way the dress
maker is constantly thrown into a state of
nervousness verging on mild insanity, in
her vain effort to find something novel and
original which bas never been worn.
A handsome toilet for walking or driving
la composed of a plain skirt ot autumn leaf
satin in tbe rich shades of russet brown,
with a short basque coat of browu silk pro
fusely trimmed yellow chiffon. The
coat bas peaked, draped sleeves and is tight
fitting, and remains open in front over a
froufrou vest of chiffon. A collarette of
the chiffon adds beauty to the neck.
That very pretty woolen material, known
in Paris as rote^de-chevai , aud in America
as corduroy, will be worn extensively for
short outside jackets. It is the neatest of
fabrics and adds a great deal to the eleganoe
and slenderness of the figure. The jackets
will be double-breasted and garnitured
with two rows of buttons In the front.
“Did you notice Miss Daisy at tbe Yacht
Club ball last night. Wasn’t her dress
awfully loud?"
“No, I didn’t think so, but then,of oourse,
a racket went with it.”
Miss Nina Pi'cton. the clever musical com
poser. is ab nut to bring out anew opera.
It is believed that sne is the first successful
feminine composer of orchestrations. Miss
Picton is a southerner with melting dark
eyes and auburn hair. She is at present
iving in New York and is constantly sur
ounded by admirers.
There is no more charming sight than the
four little Webling sisters, who are visiting
America from London. They are what we
could call recitationists, but they choose to
“dub" themselves story tellers, and charm
ing story tellers they are. They write their
own little "stories," or comedlaettas, and
two of tbd girls do boys’ parts, and the
other two girls’. A few evenings ago Mrs.
William Aetor graciously entertained them
at a reception. They played a scene from
“King Arthur’s Knights of the Round
Table,” which won them a host of compli
ments. > |
A now Patti has found her way into the
musical world. She is Miss Mauguerite
Reid of Chicago. Her first appearance was
at a “Hamlet” matinee at the Metropolitan
opera house, and she took tbs audience by
storm. Bhe is a pupil of the famous Venosi.
Her form, face and figure so strongly re
sembles the diva that when she first
stepped on the stage cries of “Patti! Patti!”
almost drowned her notes.
Mns. Minor Griswold, the widow of the
late editor of Texas Siftings , is one of the
most beautiful and charming society
loaders in New York. She has a fine home
filled with exquisite antique furniture
and old bric-a-brac. Her parlors aro long
and narrow, the wails being ornamented
with odd Oriental pictures. An abundance
of Chinese soreens, footstools and cushions
and fans are to be seen, also many Turkish
fancies. These Mrs. Griswold herself pur
chased during extended travels abroad. At
receptions aud drawing room gatherings
Mrs. Griswold is a much admired woman.
Her glossy auburn hair, soft blue eyes,
slender figure always draped in somber
black or pure white, together with her ver
satile conversational powers, arouse the
deepest interest. Margaret Hamm.
—V” —.-.-a, ...
WHY MEN SWEAR.
Profanity a Senseless and Controllable
Habit.
(Copyright , 1892, by the United Press.)
New York, Maroh 23. —Indulgence in
profanity is a habit.
Among my acquaintances is a highly
respected, perhaps the most thoroughly
representative of the old tarry school sea
captain, who oomaa into this port. On
deck, and particularly during a storm and
during moments of exoteinent, hia pro
fanity is wide horiznned Do an extent that
ordinary men need uever hope to rival. He
has a wife, two boys aud a girl, and an
aged mother. In his home in London he is
a model son, husband and father.
His control of temper is something mar
velous, for he has an infirmity in that
direction which elsewhere seems utterly be
yond reason in its demonstratioa. He haa
never been known to apeak above tha ordi
nary tone of voioe, to utter a hasty word of
reproof or reproach, or to make use of a
profane word in the presence of any
member of that family. How do you
aocount for that) Obviously he Is an
habitue.l swearer; obviously also, his
habit is under control, for while be indulges
in rip-staving oaths of tremendous scope at
times and uuder oei tain olrcumstauoes, at
other times and under other circumstances
he is as mild-mannered a man as walks the
imperial footstool, and as careful In the
selection of bis language, as charming in
his deportment as it is possible to conceive.
POSSIBILITIES OF ORDINARY MEN.
Habit is the supreme boss.
I believe there is no condition, mental,
moral or physical, which cannot be attained
by ordinary men, whether it be good or
evil. I believe that it is os easy for a man
to get into the habit of drinking, of swear
ing, of off,coiorisms in conversation as it is
to roll a ball down an incline. On tbe other
hand, 1 know that a man who has been in
tbe habit of drinking, being warned by his
physician, being con vine sd by hia own con
dition that it ia unwise and dangerous, can
stop it with tbe ease of an expert base ball
catcher.
MILD SORT OF CRANK.
There was an old gentleman once Dresi
dent of a bank in Brooklyn, a Scotchman,
who was an extraordinary illustration of
the power of habit, and also of tbe ability
to control habit. Six months in every yeur
he allowed his hair aud beard to grow and
chewed tobacco voraciously. At the ex
piration of tbe six months he had bis hair
cut and kept it short, he wore no beard,
and used tobacco in no form whatover. Six
months in the year wo consider him a guy
in respect to the fashion of his hair, and
might rpeak of him as a slave to the use of
tobacco. What was ho the other six
months?
There is no neod, however, to go to those
extremes.
THE GREAT MIDDLING CLASSES.
The great mass of humanity lives between
the extremes. In this respect we can make
use of tbs term, the middling classes. Tho
groat mass of us, thank heaven, are of tbe
middling class We neither drink too much
nor too little. We are not slaves to tbe
weed on the one hand, nor prejudiced
against its use or its useism on the other
hand. We don't hesitate to express em
phasis in words that are not irreverent,
nor do we indulge to au offensive ex
tent in what is technically or ordi
narily termed profanity. As every
thing, therefore, depends upon one’s habits,
and as there is gaud reasons to believe that
the great majority of men and women can
control tbeir habits, it would seem to me a
good resolution to determine to lire 1n all
reepects moderately, temperately, whether
tt be In mind, body, or estate We 1 can be
intemperate mentally, overworking, quite
as wall and quite as aaaiiy as we can be lazy
and usalaos iu that branch of our make up.
DRINKING IS A MERE MATTER UP HAMIT
1 will show, I think, by a single illustra
tion, that drinking I* a mere matter of
habit. Without the slightest fear of con
tradiction I assert test Uier# are mi least
'JUU.UUO man lo taw rliv who or mis every
-day in tba wwb spirt taem Eyuors and
never think of touching a drop on Sun
days.
You run through your own acquaintances
and you will, without trouble, find tcores
and scores ho never touch a drop of liquor
in tbeir own homes, but who, on tbs door
of the exenaoge, ou tbe street, in the restau
rant, In the cafe, at the stand-up bar, are
good fellows along that line of entertain
ment, spending their mnoev freely—not be
cause they or these whom they entertaiu
care especially for the fluid, but that they
may have asocial interchange of oourtesy
and personal regard. This u their habit
during six days of tbe week. On Sundays
they rarely leave their homes, save to go to
church, possibly to take a drive,
now and then for a stroll,
but thousands upon thousands of men
content themselves on Sunday with tbeir
reading, their writing, playing with the
children, receiving friends, literally resting
from the labors of the rest of the week.
Sometimes they drink at home, but In a
vast majority of cases not a drop on Sun
day.
NOT BECAUSE IT IS SUNDAY.
Because it is Sunday?
Not at all, but because being out of the
ordinary day routine, out of the com
panionship of the work-day week, away
from tbe opportunities, they never think
of it.
Come with me into one of the four great
resorts, tbe Astor house rotunda, the Hoff
man bouse o*fe, the downtown Delmonloo
restaurant, the Savarin cafe in tbe Equita
ble building. It is Monday or anv other
day exoept Sunday. Id the daytime tbe
three downtown places, Savanu’e, the Astor
house ami lower Delmonioo's, are packed
absolutely ram jammed full from about
10:80 o’clock in tbe morniug until 8 o’clock
in the afternoon, and In the evening from 3
o’clock until midnight in tbe Hoffman house,
with its contlogeuciee, of course, in the
Fifth Avenue, the Brunswick, the Windsor
and the minor placos. Are those men drunk
ards?
On the contrary they are our judges, our
chief offlolals, Catholic priests by the soore,
now and then a Protestant clergyman,
bankers, editors, literary men, politicians,
and strangers within our gates, all sorts and
oonditions of human nature. Many of them
are there to eat, a vast majority are there
to drink.
We oan misuse as well as judiciously
utilize our bodily functions, and we can be
totally abstinent or absurdly extreme in our
eating or drinking, in all our bodily on
goings, and, too, it is all nonsense to declaim
against time and seasons. Fourth ot July
aud Washington's birthday are fit occa
sions for inoculation of patriotto
sentiments, Christmas ovs and
the auuivorsary of tne coming of tbe Son
of Mas is a good time in which to teach
charity und kind feeling and thoughtfulness
toward all mankind to onr children, and
the birth uf tbe year is a fit occasion to look
at ourselves in all this matter of habit. Let
tbe scoffers laugh, let the funny men make
their paragraphs, let the ooiuoienceleea rail,
what do you care ? They don’t pay your
rent, they don’t buy your clothes, they
don’t support your families, they do nothing
but plant the thorn of offensive orlticlsm iu
your cuticles.
“Ae a man thinketb so is he," ard if you
make up you mind to live a temperate and
a square, straightforward sensible life you
can get in the habit of it just as easy as
rolling off a log.
Joseph Howard, Jr.
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