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THURSDAY. APRIL. X ISO.
The drought apears to have hit Kansas
* •qnarety below the wheat belt.
It to Terr evident that the Rev. Sam
Jones' digestive organs are still out of
fix.
About the only thing that has mtnaH
■ to fly as high as Santos Dumont so far is
beet. -
The David B. Hill boom has probably
gotten used to being launched by this
time. '
It the Beef Trust doesn't relent we may
•oon be buying sirloin steaks by the
carat.
Os course If this new railroad combine
1 means that we are to get a union depot
that's different.
We suppoee that vote on the Cuban re
ciprocity bill might be termed a victory
for the “Insurgents."
The Washington correspondents have
•elected Secretary Cortetyou for the new
* portfolio of commerce.
Os late our soldiers In the Philippines
p seem to have distinguished themselves
principally aa firebugs.
-
President Roosevelt's decision as to the
« governorship of Hawaii had a very Dole
ful sound for the natives.
What a pity that those men who make
a habit of killing their wives and them
selves don't kfll themselves first.
Peace negotiations tn South Africa have
at least enabled General Kitchener's re
gretter to take a well-earned rest.
It to altogether probable that what Mr.
J. Pierpont Morgan would really like to
have said was, "The public be d d."
The Filipinos have taken up progressive
euchre or as George Ade would say, they
have gone to pulling off euchre fights.
They have rounded up another Goebel
murderer. Things had been quite dull in
Judge Cantrell's line for some time.
Ex-Governor Hogg says the English are
all right. Which may be accepted as con
clusive proof that he sold them some of his
ofl lands.
The Greensboro Herald-Journal offers
its readers this bit of advice: “Cassava is
an excellent food for swine, and is easily
raised. Try it,"
JOhn D. Rockefeller has lost his hair,
eyebrows and mustache. What a picnic
the hair restorer people must be having
with the oil king.
Mr. Carnegie says whiskey will keep
any man from making a success of Ufa
That depends entirely upon whether he
drinks it or sells it.
The seaaon to near at hand when our
1 sympathy goes out to the borne with the
amputated tall, and our condemnation to
the man who did it.
Senator Depew ought to stick to after
dinner speaking. Whenever he makes a
I before-dinner speech he invariably puts
his foot tn his mouth.
The Kansas City Star reports a case of
| Wife-beating. A Sylvan Grove. Kas. wom
an in that town ran for the council against
her husband and be won.
Russia may yet neve to adopt the meth
od of putting its youths tinker police sur
veilance the moment they show a dlspo
. gition to become students.
But so far nobody has yet been able to
pull off a harmony dinner whereat Grover
* Cleveland and William Jennings Bryan
could eat out of the same spoon.
An exchange notes that Miss Stone had
her first magazine article accepted by the
Atlantic. Bhe accidently dropped It over
board while on the way across.
A New York corpse burst the lid off the
coffin last Sunday and demanded a drink.
Strange what effect these Sunday closing
■ movements have, even on a corpse.
The way the politicians nursed the T. P.
A. boys while In Atlanta would seem to
indicate that they have an idea that every
drummer carries politics as a side line.
After reading the society pages of its
exchanges, perhaps the Memphis Com
| ' merdal-Appeai is excusable for thinking
it is to be a sponsors' reunion at Dallas.
England is going to try the experiment
of making “the foreigner pay the tax"—
on flour. But. just the same, the consum
er will get fewer biscuits for his money.
An exchange gives this good advice: "Be
| dvll to all, serviceable to many, familiar
With few. friend to every one, enemy to
Bone.” Then dust your wings off and fly
I . aloft .
The Cubans are said to show little Inter
est in the day set for their Independence
day. They probably think they are not
being given enough of it to get excited
about.
Madame Nordica is string the Southern
railway for J6O.»W for throwing her out
of bed in a recent accident near Rome.
The Southern will naturally hope that this
was Nordlca’s farewell tour.
A Parts editor complains that nearly
half the people of that city were born else
where. But he should reflect that Paris
would soon be depopulated if she had to
• depend on the local supply of births.
New Jersey has just enacted a law
•gainst anarchy. But she will continue
to foster that "anarchy of wealth" which
to doing even more than the "reds" to
tear down the foundations of the republic.
Candidate Estill couldn't get up to the
T. P. A. convention, but Editor Estill
**Wdn't overlook the opportunity to hand
the drummers a lovely bouquet In the
K shape of a leading editorial on their many
> virtues. ' •
Mr. Lad eala us Johannes Zdxiebkowskl.
• Russian Polander living in Litchfield,
Conn., has made application to the courts
to change his name. He ought also to
•ue bis mo,'her and father for damages
while he is about it.
OUR NATIVE POPULATION.
Though the fact that our foreign popu
lation is increasing very fast is known to
everybody, most of \is have supposed that
immigration accounted mainly for this
fact.
A distinguished German statistician. Dr.
R. R. Cucinski. however, has recently
made a study of the "native race" in
this country, and his investigations reveal
some very remarkable conditions and ten
dencies.
In his search for vital statistics Dr.
Cucinski took Massachusetts as a fair
field for an Investigation of vital statistics
relative to the population of the United
States. This careful investigator has been
convinced that the native born population
of our country is increasing by no means
as rapidly as the foreign element, even
leaving immigration out of consideration.
The number of children born to foreign
parents tn the United States is propor
tionately far larger than the number born
to American parents.
The extent to which this greater foreign
birth rate is found to go in Massachusetts
la truly surprising. The figures given by
Dr. Cucinski cover the period from 1883
to 1897. During that time the annual birth
rate among native parents was 17.03 per
cent, as against 52.16 among the foreign
born. The average number of children
born to every foreign-born married wo
man was two-thirds higher than for the
native. The proportion of single persons
among the adult natives is two-fifths;
among the foreign born it is less than one
third. While nearly one-half of the na
tives of Massachusetts are single, only
two-elevenths of the immigrant women
born in Germany are unmarried. The aver
age number of children living for every
married woman la three-fifths higher
among the foreign born than among the
natives. "It to probable,” concludes the
German statistician, "tharthe native pop
ulation cannot bold its own. It seems to
be dying out."
The declaration that the pure native pop
ulation is not holding its own is not pleas
ing to contemplate, but the statistics seem
to sustain it. The effect of such investiga
tions as Dr. Cucinski has been making
will undoubtedly increase the demand for
legislation that will restrict Immigration.
The Massachusetts press takes a very
gloomy view of the prospects of our native
population for the control of this country
in the future if we continue to permit the
present immense stream of immigration to
pour in.
A writer in The Boston Transcript who
has made a study of the census statistics
for 1900, goes even further than Dr. Cu
cinski in the opinion that the predomi
nance of “native stock” in the United
States will soon be a thing of the past.
He is convinced that no measure of immi
gration restriction, not even complete sup
pression. will suffice to preserve the dom
inance in this country of the people who
were its founders. "The races showing the
highest birth rate," this pessimist asserts,
“will so obviously possess the land that it
makes little difference with the final result
whether a few hundred thousand more or
less of a particular strain are now ad
mitted or not." If a rigid measure of ex
clusion had been adopted in 1820, he adds,
the country would have been kept "Eng
lish in blood.and, in fact, as it is now in
language." It is too late to take precau
tionary measures of that kind. If the sta
tisticians and the pessimists know what
they are talking about, the scepter
sovereignty in the United States will soon
;•«»from Anglo-Saxon hands into the
hands of men of races quite distinct from
that of the founders of the republic.
This is surely a pessimistic view, for it
is undoubtedly true that American blood
and ideas affect foreigners who come here
and their children who are born here far
more than they are affected by these for
eign ideas and associations The Anglo-
Saxon race is the most aggressive in the
world. It is never obliterated 1 and never
falls to hold its own.
The United States will remain American,
whatever the statistics may show in the
way of probabilities. Th a racial absorbing
and conversion in this country will be done
by the native race, not by the foreigners
who come here.
—.■
MASSACHUSETTS PULLS BACK.
We have long been convinced that if
the legislatures of the states could get an
opportunity to vote on the proposition to
amend the federal constitution so as to
elect United States senators by direct vote
of the people more than a sufficient num
ber of them would do so. We are equally
confident that no such opportunity will
be given.
The house of representatives has voted
three times, and each time by an increas
ing majority to submit an amendment to
the constitution for popular senatorial
elections and the senate has each time
either refused to consider the resolution
or rejected it by a decided majority.
The "United States senate would consid
er It an insult if *it were told that the
people do not trust It, and yet it has
shown repeatedly and In the most em
phatic manner that It does not the peo
ple.
The senate should not forget that dis
trust begets its like.
The senate instead of rejecting out and
out the plan of popular election of sena
tors has resorted this time to the make
shift of loading down the house bill with
a federal election law which Insures its
defeat.
An excellent and. we think, a conclus
ive proof that the people of all parties in
all parts of the country are in favor of
amending the constitution so as to have
senators elected directly by the people
has been given in the declaration of many
legislatures in the several general sec
tions in favor of that policy. Rarely has
such a proposition been rejected -by any
legislature to which it was submitted. The
Georgia legislature by a large majority of
both bouses has declared for it several
times.
The legislature of Massachusetts has
recently shown that it is not in harmony
with this prevalent popular demand.
Its two senators differ as widely as the
polls on several other questions of public
policy, but they are as one in their oppo
sition to this reform.
Their legislature follows their lead and
holds up Massachusetts conspicuously as
a deterrent of progress.
Senators Hoar and Lodge have been en
dorsed at home, but they must be aware
that they are out of tune with the great
majority of the American people on this
very important subject.
DEMOCRATIC HARMONY.
The outlook for the Democratic party
has brightened very much in the last few
months and is growing brighter every
day.
On the.other hand, the Republican party
was never before so badly divided as it is
at present and the prospect of the con
solidation of its waring factions seems to
diminish steadily.
' This contrast was brought out very
strikingly in the proceedings of the house
of representatives last Friday.
While the Republican members of that
body were aftnost evenly divided on the
THE SEMI-WEEKLY JOURNAL, ATLANTA, GEORGIA, THURSDAY, APRIL 24, 1902.
Cuban reciprocity bill the Democrats stood
practically solid for the measure with the
amendment that provides for the abolition
of special favors to the sugar trust which
congress has enabled to ride the people
of this country for years.
A very large per cent of tne Republicans
joined with the Democrats to defeat the
leaders who have been directing the pro
gram of the party which controls congress
and to overrule the chairman of the com
mittee of the whole who had been put
tn possession of the gavel to carry out the
program agreed upon by the Republican
caucus.
The Democrats in congress and in the
country have grown more tolerant of each
other, more in the humor to lay aside
their differences on questions that are
settled, at least for the present. They are
better united than they have been since
the silver issue rent the party and caused
its defeat in two presidential campaigns
and several congressslonal elections.
We hear nothing now of "reading out”
Democrats and requiring those who differ
ed with a majority of the party to take
seats on the mourners’ benches. The party
could never have been put into victorious
form by any such proscriptive policy. For
it has been substituted the good sense and
honorable plan o‘s forgetting past differ
ences and getting together on issues upon
which all ’Democrats are practically
agreed.
The men who were most prominent in
refusing to accept the Democratic plat
form of 1896 are now recognised aa essen
tial to Democratic success next November
and in the presidential contest of 1904.
Democratic harmony, which, only a lit
tle while ago seemed a vain hope, is al
ready an accomplished fact.
It seems likely that history will repeat
itself. Within two years after the Dem
ocracy made its blunder of fusing with
the Liberal Republican element it return
ed to the .straight Democratic faith and
captured the house of representatives and
in four years elected its candidate for
president and secured control of both
branches of congress.
"The prevalent Democratic conviction
now is that the fusion with Populism in
1896 and the repetition of that act in 1900
were the blunders to which the defeats
the party has sustained in recent yean
must be attributed and, now that the free
silver issue is dead, all the signs point to
Democratic victory next November.
CONTRIBUTED OPINIONS.
We have all heard the remark that it
takes all sorts of people to make up the
world and variety is one of the prime es
sentials of the modern newspaper.
It is the endeavor of The Journal to en
tertain its readers of all classes and with
this object in view it opens its columns
to a wide range of discussion of all im
portant and timely topics. We print in
our "Letters From the People” many
opinions and suggestions whether we
agree with the writers'or not. We have a
large corps of regular contributors who
address the public frequently through The
Journal and always in a forceful manner.
They sometimes take positions which we
do not indorse and which are even directly
antagonistic to the policy of this paper.
For Instance, The Journal has given
both sides of the local Insurance rate
question, though it is firmly convinced
that the recent, increase of the residence
Insurance rates in this city was unneces
sary and unjust.
The Journal advocates the establishment
and maintenance of an inebriate asylum
by the state of Georgia, but it has pub
lished many attacks upon that proposi
tion.
Two of our most gifted and most popu
lar contributors often advocate measures
which The Journal has editorially con
demned and contend against some which
The Journal has approved.
We refer to Mrs. W. H. Felton and
Rev. Sam Jones. We hold them both in
very high regard and read their letters
with interest even when we differ decided
ly with them.
To Illustrate, Mrs. Felton is opposed to
the public school system of Georgia and
assails it at frequent Intervals with the
vigor which characterizes whatever she
writes. Nevertheless, we consider her po
sition on this question so entirely wrong
that we should regard its adoption by
the state as a very great misfortune.
Brother Jones is about as heretic as Mrs.
Felton on this subject and we almost des
pair of converting him.
Both of these able contributors hold and
proclaim the opinion that a state pro
hibition law would be beneficial to the
cause of temperance whereas we believe
that the present local option system is
far more effective and more in accord
with the spirit of our institutions.
Brother Jones has a candidate for gov
ernor and advocates his election vehe
mently. The Journal is no man's organ
and in both its editorial and news columns
endeavors to treat all three of the can
didates for governor with perfect fairness
and impartiality.
Brother Jones is an apologist of the
trusts which The Journal considers one
of the crying evils of our time and even
a menace to the government itself.
Brother Jones thinks that railroad con
solidation is a good thing, while we re
gard it as a very bad thing so far as the
public is concerned.
He and Mrs. Felton are so emphatic and
persistent in their views on the subjects
referred to and on some others that we
consider it proper to declare specifically
our dissent from some of their opinions
which we consider especially objectiona
ble. At the same time we accord to them
full credit for sincerity of conviction and
benevolence of purpose.
The Journal does not restrict Mrs. Fel
ton and Brother Jones to any particular
line of subjects and, of course, would not
presume to prescribe the views that they
shall present to our readers, though we
would refjoice to see their powerful pens
enlisted on what we consider the right
side of every public question.
A REPUBLICAN KNOCKDOWN.
By the co-operation of the almost solid
Democratic vote and a large Dumber of
Republican bolters in the house Fri
day the Republican organization was bad
ly beaten and the sugar trust which has
for several years past had complete con
trol of both branches of congress received
a very severe blow.
The Democratic caucus had decided to
support the custom reciprocity bill, not
because it was satisfactory, but because it
gave some measure of relief to a people
upon whom our present tariff provisions
bear very oppressively. The reduction of
20 per cent from the Dingley tariff duties
which the bill carries is far less than jus
tice and considerations of national honor
demand, but it is something. But for the
support of the Democrats Cuba would
have gotten nothing from the house of
representatives and the power of the su
gar trust would not have been curbed.
While the large Republican element
which is opposed to any reciprocity with
Cuba went down before a force which had
to depend absolutely upon Democratic
aid for its success, the other Republican
element which is absolutely subservient
to the sugar trust suffered an even more
notable defeat solely because the Demo
crats made possible the amendment to
tne bill which cuts into the illegitimate
profits of the sugar trust. The scene in
the house when this amendment was of
fered was one of the most exciting that
has been witnessed there in years.
The chairman of the committee of the
whole attempted to make short work of
the amendment by ruling it out of order
as being not germane to the subject. His
ruling was appealed from and for the
first time in many years a Republican
chairman of the committee of the whole
in a Republican house was overruled.
This caused such a commotion as is sel
dom seen in congress. Had a result like
it been accomplished in the British house
of commons the cabinet would have re
signed at once and a general election
would have been ordered. It was a dis
tinct and emphatic vote of no confidence.
Not only in this most important clash,
but in every skirmish the Republicans
who were arrayed to carry out the pro
gram of their party caucus were routed.
The Republican leaders who had hitherto
had their own way were run over rough
shod and the tariff reform element gained
• victory all along the line.
.The Republican majority was in a bad
shape before Friday’s events. It is
now worse divided than tt was before and
it is hard to see how ttye bolters can be
brought into line on gny question affect
ing the government’s fiscal policy toward
Cuba.
The senate has yet to pass upon the
matter and the hold of the sugar trust
upon a majority of that body is so strong
that the amendment which was placed on
the reciprocity bill Friday will probab
ly be taken off. The sugar trust is confi
dent that when the bill reaches the sen
ate that it will get the knife. But its
emasculation there will arouse p degree
of popular indignation and so widen the
breach that already exists In the Repub
lican ranks that the cause of real reform,
will be greatly strengthened.
MEMORIAL DAY.
It is possible that the 26th of April,
which comes a week from today, will be
observed this year as Confederate Me
morial Day for the last time.
Not that there is the slightest prospect
that the beautiful and patriotic custom
of decorating the graves of the Confeder
ate dead will ever fall into disuse. Me
morial Day is observed now as generally
and with quite as much enthusiasm as it
was twenty years ago.
But the proposition to establish one an
niversary of this character for the entire
south is gaining favor so fast that we
shall not be surprised to see it adopted
by the United Confederate Veterans’ as
sociation at its meeting next week.
Four different days have been adopted
for this holy service. There was no con
cert of action among the states which
determined to set apart a day for this
purpose, and hence it was natural that
this diversity should have occurred.
The Ladles’ Confederate Memorial as
sociation of New Orleans originated a few
months ago the movement to set apart
June 3, the birthday of Jefferson Davis
as the general Memorial Day. The idea
was taken up at once and has met with
increasing favor. A number of veterans’
organizations have declared for this prop
osition.
It is to be formally presented to the
Confederate reunion at Dallas, and to the
United Daughters of the Confederacy at
their next meeting. If both of these or
ganizations approve it, as it seems likely
that they will, all the southern states will
after this year observe the blrthcfay of
President Davis as the day on which to
especially honor both his memory and
that of the heroes of the Confederate
army.
THE CHINESE MOVING OUT.
The senate has rejected the Chinese ex
clusion bill which was submitted to it by
the committee and passed the substitute
which is by no means so extreme a meas
ure as the original. The main difference
between this bill and the present law is
that it extends the Chinese exclusion to
the insular possessions of the United
States. The idea that our country will be
overrun by Chinese immigration unless
some more drastic law for their exclusion
shall be enacted is not justified by a rea
sonable deduction from what has hap
pened in the last fifteen years.
The Geary law has proved far more ef
fective than it was first thought it would
be and there is no good reason for car
rying our policy of Chinese exclusion be
yond the point to which that act goes, ex
cept to appy it to the newly-acquired ter
ritory of the United States.
Not only has the number of Chinese in
this country been prevented from in
creasing, but it has actually dimin
ished very materially since the
Geary law was put upon the statute
books twelve years ago. At that time
there were 107,488 in the United States. In
1900 their number had shrunk to 89,863.
California is the state to which the Chi
nese problem is most important and the
present exclusion act has certainly been
very effective there. In 1890 the number
of Chinese in California was 72,472. In
stead of Increasing since that time the
number has fallen off so greatly that by
1900 it had decreased to 45,753. The Chi
nese population has fallen off 16 per cent
for the entire country and 36 per cent for
California since 1890.
STILL MORE PENSIONS.
A bill has been passed by congress and
signed by the president which applies
army retiring laws and pay to the officers
of the revenue cutter service.
This bill establishes the first civil pen
sion list in the United States.
Its passage had been urged for several
years.
The officers of the revenue cutter service
are undoubtedly efficient and faithful but
their retirement for age or physical dis
qualification with three-fourths pay will
constitute a preference and precedent to
which other classes of government em
ployes, equally worthy and faithful, may
point when asking for similar generous
treatment. The Marine hospital, weather
bureau, railway, postal, and life-saving
services t may claim public consideration
on grounds no less valid and convincing
than those which served to convince con
gress and the executive that a civil pen
sion list should be made a unique feature
of the revenue cutter division of the treas
ury department.
We already lead all other nations in the
matter of pensions, paying $150,000,000 a
year for military pensions, an amount
which makes our army cost more than
any other, though it is much smaller than
that of any other great country. The
bill to which we have referred will add
a large sum to the already enormous pen
sion expenditures and the fact that Pen
sion Commissioner Evans has just been
forced from office because he insisted up
on a strict construction of our pension
laws and rules indicates a growing spirit
of recklessness in the granting of pen
sions.. x
.
t DAILY CHAT WITH ♦
♦ GEORGIA EDITORS, t
Macon Telegraph: A suspicion is getting
abroad that “tn his imagination" Mr. Guerry
now thinks that he is running not against the
editor of The Savannah News, but against
The Telegraph for governor.
Tifton Gazette: Mr. Estill may not be elected
governor of Georgia, but the open and manly
canvass he is making and the conservative con
duct of his paper. The Savannah Morning
News, has won the applause and approbation
of the entire state.
Meldrim Guidon: This paper is not a sup
porter of Mr. Guerry, but it does not hesitate
to say that the recent attack made upon him
by the Telegraph has done more to help him
than anything which has occurred in the cam
paign.
Albany Herald: When Mr. Stevens took
charge of the state agricultural department it
had run down until the farmers of the state
took no interest in it. and there was talk of
abolishing It. We hear no such talk as that
now and the department is in close touch with
the farmers. Mr. Stevens' administration has
been not only encouraging, but helpful to the
farmers on practical lines, and they feel an in
terest in the department now that no former
administration has ever inspired.
Brunswick News: It is persistently rumored
that the great Armour Packing house is to
erect a large cold storage warehouse in Bruns
wick at an early date and make this city a
distributing point for its Florid* and south
Georgia territories.
Elberton Star: Mr. Terrell has made an en
viable record as attorney general. He is thor
oughly informed as to the needs of the state
and qualified in every way to make an ideal
governor, and should he be elected (and The
Star thinks he will), Georgia will have a
governor of whom she may justly be proud.
Dahlonega Nugget: Some of our correspon
dents have been getting the candidates in the
wrong pew religiously speaking. Mr. Estill be
longs to the Presbyterian church, Mr. Guerry
is a Methodist and Mr. Terrell is a Baptist.
Macon News: It is highly probable that Hon.
L. J. Kilburn, of Macon, will be the next
president of the State Feneration of Labor. He
is now the president of the Macon federation,
but his popularity extends throughout the
state and he is being prominently mentioned for
the head of the order in the state.
Savannah Morning News: The child labor
question is being discussed in all its phases
by various interested parties, but how about
the child idleness question? “Child labor.”
says a contemporary, “is not as bad as child
idleness.” It has reference to the children who
are permitted to run at will in the streets, to
loaf around corners at night, to gather in gangs
in vacant lots and smoke cigarettes, shoot craps
and become initiated into the various vices.
Child idleness Is no doubt responsible for a
far greater number of ills and evils than can
be traced to child labor, as undesirable as
that is.
Ocilla Dispatch: Private Estill was faithful
to his country in war, and ha has been faith
ful in peace. He is a sound business man and
his record has no flaws in it. Private John H.
Estill would make one of the best governors
Georgia has ever had and he's south Georgia’s
candidate.
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
New York Press.
The man may kiss and tell, but the girl never
will.
The male’s first love at six is the cook and
his last at sixty.
Women can do more for men by amusing them
than praying for them.
Faith cure is the best remedy to get rid of
something you haven’t got.
It isn't what people don’t say, but what they
do say, that is always the mistake.
One way to get a girl to love you is to
make her think some other girl does.
There are very few people in this world
smart enough to know how not to be too smart.
Whether an evening gown is fashionable de
pends on how much neck and sleeves it hasn't
got.
It is queer that nobody ever learns to for
give the sins of others by committing them
himself.
All a man has to do to make a woman love
him Is to make her happier than any other
man can.
To judge by a widow’s expression of in
nocence you would think she had never seen *
man before.
Blessed is the peacemaker, but more blessed
the woman who keeps the peace by holding
her tongue.
The girl with black eyes and brown hair can
be accounted for; it is the girl with black hair
and blonde eyes that puzzles one.
It's a good deal harder to break an old
bachelor to the matrimonial harness, but when
he is broken he is the tamest of them all.
The only thing in the world more horrible
than an old fat woman fondling a small, sickly
dog is the same old woman fondling a young
husband.
When there is no hesitation about calling
what carries a man his legs why should there
be any in calling what carries a woman the
same thing?
No woman can ever be made to understand
why her husband snorts so savagely when she
wakes him up two hours after midnight to ask
him if he thinks it will do any harm to the
baby to sleep so soundly.
A woman’s idea of being economical about
clothes is to buy a dress for SIOO and when
she finds she doesn't like it sell it for SSO and
buy another for $l5O. To save your life you
can’t make her see that the second one, count
ing what she got for the other one, cost her
any more than the first.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
Chicago News.
Vanity is the daughter of selfishness.
Hypocrites pray cream and live skim milk.
Some men are so stingy they won’t even give
advice.
A woman’s idea of refinement is to be tall
and thin.
Politeness is the zero mark of love’s ther
mometer.
Unrequited love soon acquire a job lot of
wrinkles.
It’s always advisable for a poor liar to tell
the truth.
The new woman always departs when the new
baby arrives.
Every woman would live long, but no woman
would grow old. .
Laziness too often succeeds in getting a stran
gle hold on ability.
Even in cash transactions the pocketbook is
taken out in trade.
Prophets are often without honor, but seldom
without competition.
No mother is ever satisfied with the second
prize at a baby show.
Some men are known by the company they
are unable to get into.
A man imagines his bride an angel until she
asks him for money.
The farmer can give you spades—even if he
has no cards to hand out.
It matters not what your ancestors were—it
is what you are that counts.
Woman's idea of worldly wisdom is to know
the fallings of her neighbors.
When one man meets another that he is said
to look like he usually swears.
A lot of time is wasted by clocks that run
too fast and by fast young men.
The uses of adversity may be sweet, but it
is apt to sour a man's disposition.
At the age of sixteen a girl begins to make *
specialty of discovering affinities.
Some wives are so averse to mending that
they won't even try to patch up a quarrel.
The good business man and the business man
who is good are not necessarily synonymous.
If silence is golden the woman who is deaf
and dumb must be twenty-four carats fine.
Many a would-be jolly good fellow might be
really so if he would only stop telling jokes.
The more money a man has the harder it is
for him to convince the world that he is a
fool. •
The patience of the average man doesn't get
a chance to rest until after he has acquired a
monument.
It sometimes happens that a domestic ex
plosion is the result of a lot of theories getting
into man's head.
Before being taught how to shoot it might
be well for the young idea to learn to know
when it is loaded.
Gov. Candler, of Georgia, in speaking
of a possible Southern railway merger,
says that while railroad combinations are
very powerful, they cannot cope with the
state of Georgia. In view of what has
been accomplished heretofore by lobby
lobsters and legislative agents, Gov. Cand
ler is certainly a courageous optimist.—
St. Louis Post-Dispatch. The P.-D. should
not be too exacting; it evidently fails to
take into consideration the fact that the
governor felt that he really ought to say
something.
The new pension commissioner has an
nounced his policy in the following lan
guage: “I believe that the man who is en
titled to a pension ought to have it.” Now
let $e pension sharks sit down and think
it oter for awhile.
THE LONG RANGE BOVER,
THE LOLLYPALOOZER \
AND THE LINE OF TALK
x. BY GEORGE ADE.
(Copyright, 1902, by Robert Howard Russell.)
NE evening while at as
Dram atic Entertain
ment consisting of 22
o
Coon Songs, a Rising Young
Lawyer looked across the Par
quette and nearly blinded him
self. He thought he had seen
some 24-caret Tizums when he
attended College and hung
around the Fem Sem, but the
Girl that he now beheld was in
a class by herself. She made •
Cleopatra look like Martha the
Sewing Girl. And Venus aris
ing from the Sea was a squizzly
old Soap Advertisement in
three elementary Colors.
The fair Unknown had a pair
of Incandescent Headlights
that beat the Anna Held Litho
graphs; a Complexion like the
Sunset Blush on a Snow-Bank,
- and enough Hair rising above
her to fit out two Girls of her
size. She was somewhat attired
in a Whipped-Cream delicates
sen Delirium with mauve-col
ored Galluses. When she fanned
herself it could be seen that she
had put some Jeweler out of the
Business.
It is very seldom that one
sees anything of that kind ex
cept in the back part of a Maga
zine.
Os course, she did not know
that the Opera Glasses were be
ing pointed at her, even by
those who sat two Rows in
front. If she had known that
it would have annoyed her a lot.
It always annoys a Young
Woman who has put on $1,200
worth of Hurrah Clothes to
have a lot of Strange Men do
the Waldorf-Astoria Inspec
tion. The only thing that an
noyi her more than that is to
have these same Goodyear Spe
cialists overlook her entirely.
When some 47 would-be
Lady-Stealers are giving a Cir
cus Maiden the Qrand Stand
Eye, she has to be in fine Con
dition if she can sit through it
and not let on. The Unknown
was still a Bud and yet she was
thoroughly up in the Part. She
was unconscious of her own
Hit, and she was determined to
keep on being unconscious.
Among the other Things she
wore that Evening was a feath
erweight Escort who had Percy
written all over him. The Men
were wondering why any Peach
erette with a Kentucky Shape,
who could take her Pick of all
Mankind, should want to carry
such a sad Specimen of Excess
Baggage. He was one of these
90-pound Wrap-Holders who
showed his Teeth when he was
pleased. He belonged out at
Mother’s Place in the Country,
feeding the White Rabbits.
Every Man who saw him snug
gling up to the Unknown hoped
that he would fall down and
break his Leg.
The Rising Young Attorney
caromed on both sides of the
Aisle when he went out for he
was still looking at the Dream.
He hid behind a Bill-Board and
saw her come out with the Hu
man Weasel. In her Opera
Cloak she certainly was very
easy to look at.
On his way to the Boarding
House he walked two Blocks
past the Place. The Unknown
had him trancified. He imag
ined himself riding with her in
a Golden Automobile through a
Grove of Violets. There was a
Music Box Attachment under
the Seat and she was fighting
to hold his Hand. He came to
just in time to save himself
from walking into the River.
This Attorney was an emo
tionable Proposition. He had a
high John C. Calhoun Fore
head and the yearning Look of
a Genius who would like to
trade a College Education for a
Meal-Ticket. From the Mo
ment when the Goddess flashed
across his Pathway, he was
Stung in eight different Places.
All during Business Hours he
looked off into Space without
seeing anything in Particular
and he was thinking of Her.
Xo Clients came stamping
in to pull him out of his Rev
erie and slip him a few Retain
ers. He was a good Union Lov
er and put in his full 8 hours
per, working up Day-Dreams.
He called her a good many
Names that would have been
New ones on her. •
One Day he saw her on the
Other side of the Street. It
made him google-eyed and he
walked off the Curb. Another
time she zipped past him on a
Trolley. Every time he spotted
her, she looked at least 40 per
cent, better than the time be
fore.
“I’m for her,” he told him
self.
Once he saw her coming out
of a Department Store and she
made the others look like the
odds and ends of a Rummage
Sale. He heard her Rippling
Laugh and there was enough
Music in it to carry a whole
Season of Grand Opera. A
Friend who was with him said
that her name was Clarice. So
he told his Friend: “Any time
that you read about Clarice be
ing engaged, start in to drag
the River.” • ,
- When he heard that she had
gone to a Summer Hotel, he
trailed her and continued his
long-distance Worship. He was
afraid to get too near for fear
that he would curl up and have
a Spasm.
Who was he, a Legal Worm,
that he should dare to crave a
Word from those Rosebud Lips
or hope for a melting Glance
from those star-lit Lamps ? As
for executing a Clutch and
swinging into the Slow and
Dreamy, that seemed only a
vague and far-away Hope of
Paradise, and it was a Sin to
waste time on it.
’ The best he could hope for
was to send her a Box of long
stemmed Roses and then go and
let a Train run over him and
maybe she would condescend to
attend the Funeral. That, or
else he could save her life in a
Runaway and die with his Head
in her Lap. All he wanted was
a Romantic Finish that would
leave a Sad, sweet Memory be
hind. He wanted a Guarantee
that she would think of him a
couple of times and he would
be satisfied to play Village Dog
and die any kind of a Death.
While in this desperate
Frame of Mind, he met Mr.
Buzzer, the moving Grapho
phone and He-Vampire, some
times known as the Burned
Edge of the Crust of Society.
When the unspeakable Buzzer
said that he knew Clarice and
stood Aces and Eights, the
soulful "Attorney wanted to
throttle him for he could not
believe that a real Diana would
trifle with a blue Cat-Fish.
However, he accepted the
Opportunity to hold Converse
with the Star of his Soul. Buz
zer led him around the long
Veranda and at last he stood
in that radiant Presence.
“Sis, I want you to know a
Friend of mine,” said the well
known Safe Blower and Social
Outcast known as Buzzer.
He stood enthralled for at
least one-twentieth of a Second.
Then Clarice got under way.
“Oh Crickets! I seen you at
the The-ayter one Night,” she
said. “I was there with Ollie
Pozozzle of Minneapolis. Me
and him came out just behind
you. Say, wuzn’t that a Grand
Show? I’m just crazy about
that ‘Mamie, Slamie, Aint it a
shamie?’ When did you land
here? Huh? Oh sure! This
•is a small Joint all right, but
they stick you for everything.
Gee! but I’m glad Mr. Buzzer
come out. He’s awful good
Company. I’m going out ridin*
tonight with He and a Friend
of his. Come along! I’ll stake
you to a Girl.”
When they found the Senti
mental Attorney in the Woods
an hour later, he was barking
like a Sea-Lion and butting his
Head against the Trees.
MORAL: Don’t go round
Cutting In and then you won’t
know any different.
POINTS ABOUT PEOPLE.
Olga Nothersole !» again in Paris at th«
Ely fee Palace hotel. She is on her way to
Rome.
The rumor comes from the Vatican that the
pope thinks of obtaining an automobile for
use next year.
Mr. Darcy, an Australian millionaire, has ob
tained a concession for the working of the oil
belt in the south and southwest of Persia.
Senator Tillman is the only senator who has
recorded in his autobiographical sketch in the
congressional directory that he was a "farmer”
before coming to the senate.
Germany's oldest army veteran has just
celebrated’ his 100th birthday at his home near
Osnabruck. He is a master builder named
Wellmayer. and joined the Thirteenth (West
phalian) infantry regiment in 1822.
While climbing in search of gulls’ nests on
the cliffs between Portreath and Porthtowan,
Cornwall, recently Rex Paley, a young mining
student residing at Redduth, England, fell
from a height of some 300 feet and was killed
on the rocks below.
The shah of Persia has had built for him the
smallest genuine graphophone in the world.
It is on exhibition in Baltimore. The company
has now under construction for his imperial
majesty what will be the largest gramaphone
is the world, which will require over
month in the building.
•It is reported that the ameer of Afghanistan,
having appointed a council to assist him in the
administration of the country. Bib! Hallma,
Umar Khan's mother, because she was not
consulted, requested him to dismiss it. This the
ameer refused to do with the result that ths
plotting and counterplotting have increased
more than ever.
Lord Strathcona, the High Commissioner of
Cana, announces that specially conducted par
ties (in charge of representatives of the Cana
dian government) will start from Liverpool and
Glasgow during this month. Those who form
these parties will receive personal attention
from the government agents, whose duty it will
be to see that the passengers are well looked
after on the voyage, and, on their arrival la
Canada, to assist In any way they property
can.
A Tribute to Major Grandy.
Charlotte News and Observer.
The death of Major Luther B. Grandy in
the Philippines will be learned with deep regret
in North Carolina. He was a native of Oxford,
graduated with honor at the university, and .
had won a high position in his profession in
Atlanta. He was a high-minded, courteous,
scholarly gentleman of the best North Car
olina type. His professional skill had brought
comfort and ease to many suffering soldiers In
the Philippines. He never spared himself, but
gave his life in a far off land to the treatment
of American troops. There is deep pathos in
the sacrifice of his promising life la its youag
manhood.