Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, November 09, 1917, Page 4, Image 4
4 THE SEMI-WEEKLY JOURNAL ATLANTA, GA, 5 IOITH TOIBTTX ST. Entered at the Atlanta Postoffice as Mail Matter o the Second Class. „ SUBSCRIPTION PRICE. 750 Twelve months Three months *'' The Semi-Weekly Journal Is published on Tues day and Friday, and Is mailed by the shortest routes for early delivery. It contains news from all over the world, broug by special leased wires into our office. It has a sta of distinguished contributors, with strong depart ments of special value to the home and the farm. Agents wanted at every postoffice. Liberal com mission allowed. Outfit free. Write R- R- BKAU ' LEY. Circulation Manager. The only traveling representatives we have are B. F. Bolton. C. C. Coyle. Charles H. WoodUff. J - M1 Patten. W. H. Reinhardt. M. H. Bevil and John Mac Jennings. We will be responsible only for money paid to the above named traveling representatives. NOTICE TO SUBSCRIBERS. The label used for addressing your paper shows the time your subecrtption eipires. By renewing at least two weeXs be fore the date on this label, you Insure regular service. In ordering paper changed, be sure to mention yonrold. as well as your new address. If on a route, please give the route "''tVe eannot enter subscriptions to begin with back numbetw. Remittances shouM be sent by postal order or registered mall Address all orders and notices for this Department to THE SEMI-WEEKLY JOCRNAL. Atlants’, Ga. . Our First Losses. ’ The great war has been brought directly to the hearts of the American people. United States sol diers have been killed in the fighting on land In France. Others of their companions have been wounded or captured. The casualty list has been published. The names of the relatives of the men who have been the first to suffer in the fight for democracy are known. The American spirit has risen superbly to the task of financing the war. of making triumphant successes of both issues of the Liberty loans, of supporting all forms of auxiliary service for the comfort and well-being of our soldiers and sailors. These things the country has done because through it swells and sweeps an overflowing tide of patri otism. as clean, cleansing and uplifting as the breezes that enwrap mountain tops. While the nation’s part in the war was confined to these things, the struggle—its magnitude and Its gravity—was sensed rightly but somewhat dimly for the personal, human touch was lacking. • No great cause, no great advance in human rights has ever yet been effected or has long en dured that has not been glorlfed by grief or sancti fied by suffering. One touch of nature, ’tis sai<|, make the whole world kin. One touch of sorrow sustained in a common cause evokes tenfold strength of loyalty and blds the Giant of Determi nation step forth, full panoplied, to make certain that the sorrow shall not have been borne in vain. America’s feeling for the war can never be the same since it has become fact that the Hun has claimed victim the flesh and blood of our fighting men. The insulating veil of distance and mere prepara tion has been torn aside and our fight with the Prussian monster stands revealed, fierce, cruel and long drawn out as it is and as it must be. Since our entrance into the war we have, of course, been drawing nearer and nearer this grim event. It has been expected and prepared for, but all expectation and all preparation could not fore \ see the thrill of grief and the reaction for a more united country back of our armed forces that fol lowed the news of our first losses. The first successful attack made upon the United States since its entrance into the war with Germany came on October 17, when a German torpedo sunk the troop ship Antilles, on its home ward Journey, with the loss of sixty-seven soldiers and sailors. This is now followed by the death of three United States soldiers, the wounding of five and the capture of twelve in a German raid on the French trenches on the Rhine-Marne canal near the Lorraine boundary of Germany, where the American forces under General Pershing have been training. For our nation, these two events bring the. war to a sharper focus, make us see more clearly the part we must play and the price we must py. Already they have had the effect of precipitating a firmer resolve for victory, out of which should come also less tolerance for those persons who at home who would hinder outright the measures of the government for prosecuting the war to a suc cessful end or who would be slackers in yielding them whole-hearted support. When blood is be ing spilled and lives are being sacrificed in the sacred cause of liberty and In defense of country, there must be no room, no softness for laggards or traitors. The Pig's War Value. Until now one has always thought of wars be ing won by fighting men. guns and swords. These things are still indispensable and victory comes only through their direct application. But this war has become world-wide and all the energy and ac tivity of a nation engaged in it must be drawn upon. The soldier, for instance, must be fed, else he be comes a liability instead of a martial asset. Quoting Food Administrator Hoover in this con nection to the effect “that every hog is of greater value in the winning of this war than a shell,” the Macon News says: There are signs that the State of Georgia has turned Its attention permanently to the raising of hogs. Packing plants have sprung up at various points throughout the State and the marketing of hogs is not so unorganized and so difficult as is the case with many other food products. The raising of live stock is also vital, but the cattle tick has given the farmer a great deal of trouble and the sapheads who obstinately oppose dipping have been a dis turbing element. .These factors should not be allowed to stand In the way of cattle raising, but in the case of raising hogs even these difficulties are absent. In the light of these things the production of hogs and cattle can be seen to be a highly patriotic service, and those who would hinder such a serv ice in any way must be considered recreant to their duty to their country. It is gratifying, indeed, to note that the raising of cattle and hogs in this State has been simplified by the erection of local packing plants. No farmer can diversify his products unless he can find an easy market for them. Georgia will produce a real ly wonderful amount of pork and beet this year. Both patriotism and good business sense make plain the fact that production next year should be in creased to the fullest extent possible. THE ATLANTA SEMI-WEEKLY JOURNAL, ATLANTA, GA.. FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 1917. New York's Election. Judge John F. Hylan, Democratic candidate, was elected mayor of New York Tuesday by a record plurality. The entire Democratic ticket was likewise successful, giving Tammany once more complete control of all the city’s affairs. John P. Mitchel, the fuslonist mayor, was outdistanced by Judge Hylan by more than 148,000 votes, while Morris Hillquit, the Socialist candidate, lacked only a few’ thousand votes of equaling the poll cast for Mitchel. William M. Bennett, the Republican candidate, was poor fourth in the race. The issues were decidedly confused in a cam paign that was conducted with more than usual acrimony and recrimination. Mayor Mitchel’s ad ministration had been one of marked success in many respects while in others it had shown an unaccountable weakness. He stood forth, however, as a stanch American and was undoubtedly a strong, able official. He and his supporters brought national issues to the forefront in his campaign, at tacking the loyalty of Judge Hylan and much of his following. Judge Hylan. however, declared that the question of loyalty was not one of the issues and directed the major portion of his efforts to pointing out the shortcomings of the Mitchel admin istration's handling of municipal affairs. In his statement following the election he says: I want to make it plain to the world that there was no issue of Americanslm or loyalty involved, so far as I am concerned. There could be none for I am as good an American . as any man, as loyal to my flag, as loyal to my country and as firm and determined in support of every act of the government in this war as any man. I ask the editors of the newspapers in this city and in other cities to give prom inence to this declaration so that there may not go abroad to the people in this country who have no appreciation of our local situa tion the slightest intimation that the ques tion of the war or the. war policy of President Wilson and the United States government is in the slightest involved. At a time when the entire country including its chief city should show’ unbroken unity against the enemy, Judge Hylan should be taken readily at his word not only with respect to his loyalty but also with regard to his promise to give New York fair and honest city government. It rests with him whether he w’lll become the familiar Tam many tool or be a mayor in the highest acceptation of that term. It is not to be doubted that the misinformed, malcontents and war shirkers lined up with the forces of Hillquit, the Socialist, who ran on an anti-war platform boasting of his refusal to buy Liberty bonds. While his strength proved unex pectedly large, it lackec. much of having any de cisive value. The strong tide of patriotism and loyalty everywhere noticeable in thia, nation must necessarily have its eddies and undertow. - Modern Punic Faith. One result of Germany’s policy of frightfulness and bad faith is beginning to seep into the brains of the German commercial classes. Germany's trade practically dominated the world’s commerce before the war. It of course, has now shrunk to nothing. Will it ever regain its former standing or even a part of it? That is the question that is now giv ing serious concern to Germany’s business men., A recent dispatch from Copenhagen says: Articles in serious newspapers, even of Pan-German views, are found almost every day in w’hich it is pointed out that diplomatic breaks with China and Central and South American republics, instead of being a source of amusement on account of the military un importance of these nations, means the loss of Germany’s hard-won commercial position in these markets and increase the difficulty of the uphill fight to rebuild foreign trade after the war. Those words of opprobrium, "Punic Faith,” which the ancient world used to describe treach ery, will for years to come be succeeded by the words, “German faith”—the product of a country that can see only amusement in a w’eaker country resenting the ruthless disregard of its rights, that has proclaimed in fact that weaker nations have no rights and that has used force and lying, whichever seemed most effective, to make good this proclamation. Peace may be restored in a few years but the restoration of faith in Germany will Jie of slower growth. Business relations cannot subsist without faith and confidence. What power is there now that can wipe the stain of bad faith from the Ger man name? Germany might be able to win the war but in this respect it has already lost its own soul. The Soldiers' Recreation Fund. Significant indeed is the movement, nation-w’ide, which was begun Monday to raise an adequate fund for the work of the commissions on training camp activities. Perhaps no labor in behalf of the enlisted man will prove of greater benefit than this. Its purpose is to look after the welfare of the sol diers when they are off duty. It is generally recog nized that this is the time especially when the sol dier is most susceptible to good influences on the one hand and most exposed to temptation on the other. The training camp commissions desire to pro duce amusements entertainments for the men in their leisure hours during week-ends, while they are away from the camps visiting near-by cities. In addition to providing places for the sol diers in the nature of clubs, which will be fitted with all conveniences and comforts, the hospitality of individual homes w’ill be obtained. The touch with home and normal home life will thus be con tinued. It is easy to see what this will mean to the man who spends five days and a half each week in the exacting requirements and atmosphere of the army camp. He will take with him to the trenches in France a deeper love for his own country and his own countrymen. He will be mentally re freshed. He will become all the more a man and all the more a soldier. He will be made a more effective fighting unit. The first and last craving of the soldier is the assurance that the folks back home are giving him unrestrained sympathy and support. It is highly desirable that he get this assurance in full measure before he is sent abroad and that it be kept up there in the greatest degree possible. A man may try to make a widow think he could not help loving her, but she invariably knows better. Germany Now a Democracy? Startling indeed is the statement of Mathias Erzberger, leader of the Centrist party of the Ger man reichstag, that Germany w’ithin the past five days has changed from an autocracy to a democ racy. The statement of this leader made public Tuesday fails to indicate in any definite way how this momentous result has been achieved. The western world cannot conceive of a demo cratic Germany with William still emperor and the Crown Prince still in line for the throne. Nothing is said in the interview of Herr Erzberger about the abdication of the Emperor or the retirement of the Crown Prince to meditative solitude. Hence the assertion that Germany has become a democracy must be taken in a very German sense —a German kultur kind of democracy forsooth. And if any political change has been wrought in Germany, this is indeed what Jt is, if one must judge by the statement of the Centrist leader, for all he indicates is that the new chancellor, Count von Hertling, has come to a working agreement w’ith the leaders of the reichstag and the emperor has not yet interfered with it or booted any of the present leaders and officials out of office. Quite enthusiastic is Herr Erzberger over this bit ot im perial forbearance for he declares that the past week “has been the most momentous sfhce the founding of the empire, representing a permanent political gain for the German people.” Foreign Minister von Kuehlmann who is said to have participated in the agreement wants the w’orld to know that “a new political era has set in in Germany.” The world would certainly be glad to know that such is the case, but it will require much more proof of it than the rejoicings of political leaders over an internal parliamentary pact. What the world wants to know more than these things is whether the new political era considers solemn treaties as scraps of paper, whether it sanctions Germany’s more than barbarous practices in w’arfare, whether it condone the murder and out* rage of women, whether it countenances the policy of the world domination by frightfulness and plots and lies. It matters little to the rest of the world what internal changes take place in the government of Germany, so long as these things remain unaltered. Germany a democracy, and still in the grip of Prus sian militarism! The German mind may be able to comprehend this, but never the rest of mankind. ■♦ - ■ WHY TO SAVE FOOD, AND HOW lll—Substitution . By Dr. Ray Lyman Wilbur (President of Leland Stanford University.) ARTHUR is away at boarding school for the first time in his life. And he is enjoying it. He has found a host of new friends, he has a good room and a good' roommate, and he has begun to have dreams of making the school team. Even so, there are times when he grows a bit homesick. And one of those is when he is seated at the long table of the dining hall. It isn’t that he dislikes the food. It does well enough, and ho has no fault to find. Yet there are moments when he cannot help thinking of his family sitting around* the dining table at home, laughing and talking and watching his mother while she cuts one of those wonderful mince pies of hers. Oh, those mince pies! Was there ever anything like them? What wouldn’t he give for a big wedge out of one of.them. Will they tuck one into that box they have promised to send him each week? That is a vital question to him. Meantime what is Arthur’s family back home doing? They have their regular supply of mince meat canned and stowed away. They are fond of mince pie themselves. Yet they know that Arthur, living on the routine boarding school fare, is count ing on having that mince pie arrive from home at periodic intervals. What does the family do under these circumstances? Do »they use the regular amount of mincemeat for themselves? Or are they saving of it, substituting other desserts for mince pie, so that Arthur may be sure of having his? I leave you to answer. And in the meantime I am going to Jake the abrupt leap from the family circle to a tropical islet in the South seas. There is nobody on it ex cept three the sole survivors of a shipwreck on a near-by reds. Yes, there is a fourth —a wee mite of a child whom the sailors saved when its parents perished. It sounds almost like a plot for a short story, doesn’t it? But I am still thinking of food. Luckily, the island is rich in edible tropi cal fruits. Ai d still more luckily, the day after the wreck one of the sailors found, washed up on the beach, a small case of condensed milk. Who got the milk? The sailors? Or did they save it for the baby, while they themselves got along well enough on cocoanut milk, on breadfruit and mangoes? This time also I shall leave you to answer. al wouldn’t impugn the kind-heartedness of the sailor-man the world over by even intimating that there could be any doubt about the answer. Are you tired of imaginary illustrations which seem to you to lead nowhere? You will quickly discover that they lead somewhere very definitely if you will pause to consider world events and world problems today. Our allies, fighting men in the trenches and women and children at home, need certain kinds of food. They are wheat, beef, pork, dairy prod ucts and sugar. We have those foods. We shall have plenty to send over where it is needed—if we are willing to make the slight substitutions necessary in our own diet. , Otherwise we shall not be able to send over the food they need. Or, to put it more informally and pointedly, we shall —in this particular—be leaving our friends in the lurch. An ancient proverb runs: “What’s life to a man when his wife’s a widow?” Remodeled for this occasion, we may say: “What good are our soldiers in France if the people we are sending them to fight for have meanwhile died of starva tion?” Fon cutting down the use of certain specified foodstuffs the personal sacrifices we shall have to make are trifling. The results possible from such small sacrifices and substitutions are immense. Later 1 shall tell you in detail just what to sub stitute for wheat, for beef, for fats, for sugar. It is the food administration’s wish and plan that re sults shall be achieved with the least, possible sac rifice to the men, women, and children of this country. ‘ But the necessary surplus of food must be raised. And that problem is up to you, l and to all of us. » The lad at boarding school got his mince pie. The baby on the South sea island had his milk. Are our allies —making common cause with us in the fight for freedom —to fare worse when it comes to depending on us • for wheat, beef, pork, dairy products and sugar? Or shall we. for their sake, each and all of us, help them by sending them the foods they need, tution in what we ourselves eat? NEW TELEPHONE RECEIVER An improved telephone receiver has been put on the market by the use of whjph it is said that even persons partially deaf can hear over the tele phone. The receiver has a trumpet shaped design, with a fluted ear-piece, ’and is so made as to shut out all external noises. It is also claimed for it that it does away with the ear-splitting cracks which result when central is working to get a party who “doesn't answer.” RED CROSS YARNS—By Frederic J. Haskin WASHINGTON, D. C.» Nov. 6. —Who is telling tales about the Red Cross? Who is responsible for starting the half dozen stock fables afloat all over the country, whose sole object is to convey some damaging insinuation about the Red Cross organization? Is he a pro- German, a pacifist, or a malicious practical joker? Or are the stories started by a hidden but exten sive organization of some sort? Nobody knows. The stories are in circulation though, and they pre sent a curious problem. • • • There is no truth in any of them. They are all designed to hamper and bring into disrepute she Red Cross knitting campaign, which is a move ment deserving all the support any American can give it. A knitting campaign is rather a curious object for any hostile power to select as the ob ject of underhand attack. The stories themselves are equally curious, tn their mingling of able and artistic lying with absurd details that stamp them instantly as not only false, but impossible, to one who has any knowledge of the Red Cross work. • ♦ ¥ A typical tale, and one of the most widely circulated, might be entitled “A Pair of Socks for Sammy, or .How the Lumberman Got Stung.” According to this tale, a young lady has knitted a beautiful pair of socks for a soldier, and en trusted them to the Red Cross for delivery to any lad in khaki. Moreover, the young lady, being of romantic temperament, has put a note with her name and address in the toe of one of the socks. A few weeks later she always gets an answering note from a man in a lumber camp. The answer assures her that the socks are a fine job and the lumberman appreciates them. It closes by saying. “They are the best socks I ever bought for $2.50 in my life.” • « « From this tale an intelligent public is supposed to deduce that the Red Cross is taking the socks young ladies knit for soldiers and selling them for $2.50 a pair. The most striking fact about the yarn, and all its brethren, is that it crops up in exactly the same form in every section of the coun try. The national headquarters of the Red Cross have received literally thousands of letters, each reporting that this tale is abroad east and west, north and south, with hardly a detail changed. The lumberman who was mulcted of $2.50 sometimes works in Maine, sohietimes he works in Louisiana or Michigan or Colorado or Washington. But the rest' of the tale doesn't vary. This in itself is enough to throw it out of court with those who can weigh evidence. It bears a family resem blance to the thousands of identical telegrams that flooded congress when the question of declaring war was pending. But who started it'? a • • Another tale is that of the devoted mother who knitted a sweater for her soldier boy. She gave it to a Red Cross chapter to forward, but her boy never got it. She went to the chapter again to report, and the lady in charge told her the sweater had been sent. But the keen-eyed mother in ques tion noticed that the lady was wearing a sweater herself. A second glance, and she recognized the sweater as the one she had made for her son. “That’ is my son’s sweater,” she accuses. “And to prove it to you, I will show you the $lO bill that I sewed in the collar.” Which she triumphantly does. There are several holes in this tale. The larg est one is the fact that no Red Cross sweater has a collEtr.’ They .aren’t made that way. Another is, that the policy of the Red Cross is not to accept gifts for individual soldiers, but to reserve the right to give them where they will do the most good. Anyone who wants to spnd a present or any thing else to a particular soldier has only to ad dress the package, affix a postage stamp, and make use of the well-known parcel post. • • • And yet, this $lO-bill-in-the-collar story is going up and down in the land, and thousands of women are hearing that it happened to a friend of a friend of theirs, and are writing to the Red Cross about it. It does not encourage the knitting campaign. Who started it? ENEMIES OF EFFICIENCY By H. Addington Bruce EFFICIENCY has many enemies, great and small. One of the worst is envy. Another is discontent. A third, of special potency, is worry. Thousands of men are held back in their chosen callings for no other reason than that they are envious and discontented. “I wish I were m John Jones’s shoes,” they say to themselves, with reference to some fellow worker to whom they are in a subordinate position. "He gets far more pay than I do and has a far easier job. "He doesn’t have to come grubbing down here the first thing in the morning. When he does get in all he has to do is to sit at a desk and give or ders, while I have to slave all day. “It isn’t' fair. I’m just as clever as he is. But they boost him along, and never give me a chance.” The mental attitude thus voiced is indeed a dangerous one—though not to John Jones. It is dangerous to the men who are envious of John Jones and discontented at their own slowness of promotion. It tends to make them, consciously or uncon sciously, careless at their work. It deadens what ever little interest they may previously have had for their work. And work done without the stimulus of Interest is work that is pretty sure to be badly done. Besides, their envy and discontent are bound to affect in some degree their physical health. If, in addition, they worry over the slowness with which they are progressing, the consequences to their health may be doubly serious. For envy, discontent, and worry are as truly poisons as are strychnine, arsenic and prussic acid. They derange the workings of every bodily or gan—the circulation of the blood, the digestion of food, the elimination of the waste products of di gestion. As a result it becomes increasingly difficult to work at any high level of efficiency. Until soon or late the envious, discontented, worrying ones will have real occasion to wonder, not when they will be promoted, but how long they will be permitted to hold their jobs. How different the outcome would be if a sen sible mental attitude were adopted, if those who are foolishly envious would only tell themselves: “John Jones has been promoted faster than I, and there must be some good reason for it.’ “Perhaps I have not worked quite as faithfully as he. Perhaps he has discovered a secret of suc cess which I have overlooked. “I piust study his personality and his methods. If I am missing anything that would be to my ad vantage, I certainly ought to find out what it is. “Meantime I can only congratulate John Jones and wish him continued good fortune, while I set to work to win promotion myself.” An attitude such as this—absolutely free from the noxious ingredients of envy, discontent ana worry—is one that will help to raise, not lower, the level of efficiency. And the higher the efficiency level can be raised the greater the rewards of labor are sure to be. This is a truth which requires no demonstration. (Copyright, 1917, by the Associated Newspapers.) QUIPS AND QUIDDITIES A soldier on active service reported sick with swollen knees. The medical officer on examining them said; “Oh’, you can’t go to the trenches, my man. How long have you had those knees?” “Thirty-five years, sir,” was the unexpected reply. There are five or six of these tales, and they are always whispered so much alike that the Red Cross officials know them all by heart. The other day a Washington mai heard one of them, and feel ing that he had uncovered something important, he hastened to national headquarters to tell an officer of the Red Cross. When he had gotten about ten words out, the officer interrupted. “Let me tell you the rest' of it,” said the officer. And he did. • • * Whoever evolved the stories, seems to have been fascinated by the idea of sewing up cash in hid den places. Did you* ever, as Schehezerade said to the sultan, hear the tale of the Red Cross packer and the enchanted pajamas? The packer in ques tion was boxing a lot of contributed pajamas for a Red Cross hospital in France, when he felt some thing hard in one of the seams. He investigated, and lo! it was a $lO gold piece that some kind soul had thus secreted for a wounded soldier. What followed? Why, the word went abroad among the packers, and since then they rip up all the seams in all the pajamas before they pack them, looking for more gold jheces, and hence it is no use making pajamas for the Red Crosa. Whoever conceived this tale may have been a German agent, but he had literary ability. • • • Another common tale is that American sol diers in France have to pay heavy Import duties on the things the Red Cross sends them. This is such a gratuitous slander of a friendly power that it deserves to be nailed seriously and nailed hard. France has suspended all import duties on gifts to American soldiers, even the duties on tobacco and playing cards, both of which are stiffly protected governfment monopolies and among the principal sources of the national revenue. • • • The Red Cross has never been able to trace a single one of these stories to its .origin. Though there are only a few of them, they crop up thou sands of times; yet they are always things that "a friend of mine heard,” or "someone I know knows a woman who,” and so forth. • • • * Sometimes you will hear a more serious charge brought forward to the effect that a large part.of the $100,000,000 war fund raised by popular sub scription is being used to pay large salaries and heavy administrative expenses. As a matter of fact, practically all of the principal officials at headquar ters and all over the country as well as abroad not only work without salaries, but bear all of their own expenses and are large contributors to the Red Cross besides. • • • Now and again, too, someone raises the ques tion of the Red Cross and religion. There have been charges, impossible to trace to their origin, to the effect that the organization favors or op poses certain creeds. The Red Cross is absolutely nonsectarian. Its contributions come from all de nominations, and it never inquires into creeds when help is needed. • * • There is nothing wrong .or unpatriotic about criticising the Red Cross. It’ ought to be as open to criticism as any department of the government. It is spending a lot of public money, and publlo • criticism is a salutary influence for any institution which does that. The Red Cross has been hastily and enormously expanded. It doubtless makes mis takes, and it is Anyone’s duty as an American citi zen to point oiit mistakes and his privilege to de nounce them as fiercely as he will. But the stock slanderous stories that have gotten afloat belong in another class entirely. They are malicious, mischievous and mysterious. In so far as they hinder the work to supply our sol diers with comforts, they are almost treasonable. None of them has any foundation in fact. Their very triviality seems to make absurd the idea that they are started by agents .of the enemy, but the widespread and the absolute sameness of these triv ial tales seepis to make it certain that theie -is an organized movement to get them under way. Tfce next time you hear one, try to find the person who was actually victimized. The Red Cross would like to get at least one of the accounts at first hand. AUTOBIOGRAPHY By Dr. Frank Crane My dear Mabel:* I thank you for your recent letter asking for my autobiography to read be fore your woman’s club. I am glad to get a chance to show you what a real autobiography ought to be. Nobody cares when Soandso was born, or where, nor when he married, nor what was his college. What people want to know is some such matter as follows: The subject of this sketch is a husky male person about six feet tall, with no visible de formities. He owns two fountain pens, neither of which works very well. Sometimes he writes with a pencil and owns a patent pencil sharpener; you poke the pencil In one end and turn a crank at the other; it’s grand. He does not operate a typewriter, but makes all his words by hand. He has a secretary, who writes all his articles on a machine. She also answers the telephone, knits for soldiers, buys Liberty bonds, and tells her boss she wouldn’t write that if she were he. He has never taken her out to lunch. He cannot add nor subtract with any degree of uniformity, hence his secretary keeps tally in the check book. He was married young, and his wife has been on the job steady ever since. He reads everything he writes when it is in print. He is his favorite author. He belongs to several clubs, but does not go to them. His father was a Methodist preacher; still, he has never been in jail. He is very lazy, fond of anything habit-form ing, plays chess poorly, wears an eight shoe and a sixteen and a quarterr collar, smokes cigars that cost two *and eight-tenths cents apiece, loves ex pensive soft shirts, likes to have his feet rubbed, uses an ■ increditable amount of matches, goes to the theater when he gets free tickets, but pays to see the movies; is always ahead of time at break fast, and his favorite fruit is Casaba melon. The authors he admires most are Maeterlinck, Anatole France, J. Brierly, Pater, Symons, and Conan Doyle. His favorite magazind used to be The Independ ent, before they improved it. He buys at the news stands every week detective stories, The Saturday Evening Post and Collier’s, and reads all the mystery stories. He loathes sex-soaked literature. Ditto the whole bellyache school of writers. He’d rather sit in the kitchen than in any room in the hoyse. H$ has an automobile, but never touches it, and believes all the chauffeur tells him about it, when he understands, which is not often. He does not belong to anything, but believes in the underlying principles of most revolutionary movements, such as anatchy, socialism, single-tax, land currency birth control, woman’s rights, the Gary system and Christianity. » He answers every letter he receives, when he can make out the sender’s name and address. He does not go to banquets unless he is paid for it, and attends meetings only on the same terms. He writes for a living, and is not ashamed to take money from the capitalistic pres?. In conclusion, it may be said of him, as Bill Nye said of himself, that he is of a cheerful dispo sition, and pleasant to be thrown amongst; also that in the morning he wears morning dress, in the evening he wears evening dress, and at night he wears a night dress. (Copyright, 1917, by Frank Crane.)