NORTH GEORGIA TIMES
Vol. VIII. New Series.
REV. DR. TiLMAGE.
THE BROOKLYN DIVINE’S
SUNDAY 8ERMON.
Subject: “Rewards for the Dull as
Well as the Brilliant.”
mare^JoDicintoe Manv of the narables of in^hich Tpbikj ChrlRt ?lTvtd were
times circu^sten^ H
than they are now, because
see3 nete“beT^r wheat toe^erhfdSItK the field And Axrmefcin* the
ovpp wlmld was
the harvest, Vito his avenger 8 ofVe go across the
same field a sa ck full seed of
rinrttAi srssS.^sri'Kisss wppao cnnffprinff ft n
Shekt In wolves^avebeen^i^ktothe this lmid ou? farms
off md the ^dwe cannot?
stand mountains, the meaning of fully under in
the narable
regard to the shetiherd and the lost
sheet). But the narable from which 1 sneak
to-dav is toundedon something we all umier
stand. It is built on money, In and that means
the same te Jerusalem as New York. It
means the same to the serf as to the Czar,
and to the Chinese coolie as to the Emperor.
Whether it is made out of bone or brass,
or iron or copper, or gold or silver, it
speaks l'be parable all languages the without in a stammer.
of text runs thiswise:
The owner of a large estate was about to
leave home, and he had some money that he
wished properly invested, and so he called to
gether “I his servants, and said: and 1
would am take going this away now, and it to wish the you
best possible money and when put I back very
use, come re
turn to me the interest.” To one man he
gave $9400, to others he gave lesser sums of
money: to the least he gave $ 18 Sft He left
home mid was gone for years, and then re
turned. On his arrival he was anxious to
know about his word I y affairs, and
he called his servants together to
report to him. "Let me know,” said he,
“what have you been doing with my prop
erty since I have been gone.” The man who
had received the $9400 came up and said: “1
invested that money. 1 got good interest for
it. I have in other ways rightly employed
it; and here are $18,800. You see 1 have
doubled what you gave me.” “That’s very
• good,’said the owner of the estate; ‘teat’s
grandly and dona industry. I admire I your faithful
ness_ shall reward you.
Well done—well dona” Other servants
came up with smaller accumulations. After
a while, I see a man dragging himself
along, with his head hanging. I know from
the way he comes in that he is a lazy fellow.
Hecomes up to the owner of the estate and
says: Here are those $1,880.” “What!”
^thg^notLing^^rwhardl^ ■ays the owner of the property, haven’t
lose it. There are vour\lSo g ’' t M?nv a
Sb&@HS£& £5? is .as. rsy-ss? “
The owner who went out into a far country
b Jesus Christ going from earth to heaven.
The servants spoken of in the text are
members of the Church. The talents are our
different qualifications of usefulness given
in different proportions to different people.
The coming back of the owner is the Lord
Jesus returning at the judgment to make
final settlement. The ramng of some of
these men to be rulers over five or two cities,
teiywteteth^stogo^cfftS idleMs toe
.
If you have any romantic idea about becom
tog a Christian, If I want into now to kingdom scatter the
romance. you enter the of
honest, God, It will be going into plain, practical,
work. I continuous, there persistent Christian
kuow are a great many people
who have fantastic and romantic notions
about this Christian life, but ho who serves
God with all toe energies of body, mind, and
■oul is a worthy servant, and he who does not
ban unworthy servant. When the war trum
pet march, sounds, however all deep the Lord’s toe soldiers must
snow may be or
however fearful the odds against them. Under
our Government we may have Colonels, and
Captains, the Church and Generals God m time of peace, but in
of there b no peace until the
last great victory shall have been achieved,
But I have to tell you it is a voluntary ser
vice. People are not brought into it as
slaves were dragged from Africa. A young
man goes to an artisan and says:
“Sir, I want to learn your trade I
by and this service indenture, for the yield next myself four, to your earn
I be or five, or
seven years. want you to my master,
and I want to be your servant.” Just eo, if
we come into toe kingdom of God at all, we
must master. come, I take saying Iky to service Christ: for “Be Thou my
time and for
eternity. There I choose drudgery it.” It in is it. a voluntary In service,
callings is sometimes no our worldly
and head aches, our and nerves get worn out,
ties onr break down-but in our thb physical service of facul- the
Lord Jesus, the harder a man works the bet
ter he likes it, and a man te this audience
who has been for forty years serving God en
joys the employment better that when he first
auctions ' 2?w?inVn ihio ^veS ^pll
ato to different
feiAnS aC £ c orlci ?T « f A* r S?S« thtf* h“as\n
ri/ ipr
twenty bushels of wheat te the acre, Here
is another piece of ground that has only one
talent, You may plow it, and harrow is,
»nd culture it, yew after year, but it yields
goat He soon, under Christian culture,
yields Here great harvests of faith and good work.
is another man who seems to have only
one talent, and yon may culture, put upon him
the greatest spiritunl but he
yields righteousness but little You arete of the understand fruits teat ^_of
ent teere individuals. are different There qualifications is great ter deal differ- of
a
ruinous if only comparison when a man says: “Oh,
I had that man’s faith, or that man s
God has giyen y° 1 I_and employ it in
btey g&rgj'teTS
SPRING PLACE. GEORGIA, THURSDAY. DECEMBER 13, 1888.
should fit And so I have to tell you we are
*11 marked for some one place in the great
temple of the Lord, and do not let ns
complain, saying: “I would like
to be the foundation stone or
the cap stone." Let us go into the very
place where God intends us to be, and be
satisfied with the position. Your talent may
be in large worldly estate; your talent may be
te personal appearance; your talent may
be fn high social position; your talent may
be te a swift pen or eloquent tongue; but
whatever be the talent, it has been given only
bu “ dred talents may be shown in the item of
Bnduranee - Poverty comes, and he endure
&*!*■•«*»“ menTd Sgels ITL^d.lVft^fore hefs splc"meTof
a ChrteUan
power of Chnst’a Gospel, and ^ is
doin S a® much for the Church, and more
*" «•
active. If you have one talent, use that, n
- I learn also from this parable that the
! Steace of God was attended to be accumula
feiwo^ When God plants an acorn, He
means an oak, and when He plants a small
amount of grace in the heart, lie intends it
i to be growthful and enlarge until it over
' shadows the whole nature. There are parents
i who, at tlie birth of each child lay aside by an
amount of money, investing it, expecting
accumulation and by compound interest that
by the time the child shall come to mid life
this small amount of money will be a for
tune, showing how a small amount of money
will roll up into a vast accumulation. Well,
God sets aside a certain amount of grace for
each and one of His spiritual children by at his birth,
it is to goon, and, as compound in
terest, accumulate, until it shall become an
eternal fortune. Can it bo possible that you
have ten, twenty, been acquainted thirty with the and Lord Jesus for
years, that you do
not love Him more now than you did before?
Can it be that you have been cultured in the
Lord’s vineyard, and that Chnst finds on you
nothing it, but if sour do grapes? the You talent may that depend
upon you not use God
gave you it will dwindle. The rill that breaks
from the hillside will either widen into a
river or dry up. The brightest day started
In the dim twilight. The strongest Christian
man was once a weak Christian Take the
one talent and make it two; take five and
make them ten; take ten and make them
| twenty. be The grace of God was intended to
very accumulative.
riorfty Again of I gifts learn is from the text that indolence, info
This no excuse for
man, with the smallest amount of
the money, came of growling the into the presence of
to owner “If estate, as much as
say: you had given me $9100 I would
have brought $18,800 ns well as this other
man. You gave me only $1883,and I hardly
thought So it was worth while to use it at all.
1 hid it in a napkin and it produced no
result. It’s because you didn’t give me
enough.” is But indolence. inferiority of facultia.
no excuse for Let me say
ft fc'SSfiW
a ‘ mosfc omnipotent* The merchant, whose
cargoes come out from every island of the
cs
SSSIL?fSsTB
n't?,,? "unu 7251?
eternal ager f to compu te „<2L it?.....Oh, Ef you say,
* ut l?L W vml 't
9?®. ^ brother, c^an you not quote
y
; y0 “i 9 it under
all proper circumstancea With that one
SSSSd*wStofgXl. 70 ? aS^lad that the
gMtesw rake all with the firey hail of sassa destruction,
But common muskets do most of the hard
thousands fighting. It of took only one Joshua, and him, the to
common troops, under
drive down the walls of cities, and, under
'wrathful strokes, to make nations fly like
®P Luther a 5 ;ka from for the Germany, anviL It one only Zwinglius took one
| i?r or Switzerland, Scotland, one one Calvin John Knox for
Boreas France, and certainly one John Wesley mission for England
as has a to serve as
p aul has a mission to preach. The two mites
dro Pped bv the widow into the poor-box will
be as much applauded as the endowment of
a college, which The gets a man’s who kindled name into the fire the
newspapers. under the burnt offering man te the ancient temple
bad a duty as imperative as that of the
high priest, in magnificent robes, walking
-nto the Holy of Holies under the cloud of
Jehovah’s presence. Yes, the men with one
talent are to save the world, or it will never
be saved ataU. The men with five or ten
telents are tempted to toil chiefly for them
selves, and work to build for up their their owu aggrandizement, great name,
own
and do nothing for the alleviation of the
world’s woea The cedar of Lebanon stand
“* on the mountain seems to hand do wn the
worms P out fruit, of toe heavens to the earth, but it
63 ™ no wmie some owart pear tree
ba ® more fruit on its branches than it can
9 arr Y- Better to have one talent and put it
to f uR „ use than five hundred wickedly
ne fi , ec te“\
“7 snbject . teaches . , that .. there . is .
, day me solemn go
come a of settlement,
When the old farmer of the text got home,
I’d pay you what I owe you,and you’ll pay me
Ttoday SS?F£F£prv2S wST^me w^enthe^teS Chrbt
&wSfeJaldl 5E&
oo r es a e^ m fram 6 tlmt r, Sl
went. Bometimea you cannot get a settle
S ent wifcil a mRn * specially if he owes you.
jj e postpones and procrastinates, and says:
“X’ll see you next week,” or “I’M see you next
month.” The fact is he does not want to
.ettla But when the great day comes of
f fiave •ss-a’-srsar
sometimes been amazed to see
h ow ^ accountant will run no or
down a long line of figures. if I see
ten or fifteen figures in a line, and
1 attempt to add them up, and I add them
two or three times, I make them different
each time. But I have admired the way an
accountant will take a long line of figures,
and without announc! a single mistake, and with great
the celerity, lart the aggregate. Now, will be in
great settlemMd, there
Sabbaths, a long lineof profane words, a long
sawssa 1 * tsses^i k
answer than in that regard question to In regard it is to of myself
you; ana more
importance yourself for in y'ou regard to answer it in Everyman regard to
than to me.
f or himself on that day. Every woman for
herself on that day. “If thou be wise, thou
shalt ^ f or thyself; if thou seomest,
thou alone shalt bear it ” VYe are apt to speak
0 f the last day as an occasion of vocifera¬
tion—a great demonstration of power and
po mp; but there wUl be on that day, I think,
a {ew moments of entire silence. I think a
tremendous, an overwhelming silence. 1
tzs&'szt&'sszziws
bie of the te
that our degrees of happiness in heaven w
be graduated according to our degrees of
™meone VSLnke^lnemo^^dl ra «kfnftois° narahleS
S*? over £*££2 two cities. “$5 Would it be fair and right
that the professed Christian man who has
and the L/burch—the man who has otten often
't?*2z "sr-s
never
communion days-the been man whose of great the
world struggle he has could to and see how win much heaven—is it
right to get yet will have
suppose that man as
grand who and glorious all his a seat energies in heaven of body, as mind the
man gave
and soul to the service o£ God? The dying
thief entered heaven, but not with
the same startling acclaim as that
which greeted Paul, who had gone
under scorchings, and across dungeons, and
glory. through maltreatments into the kingdom of in
One star differs from author star
glory, earth and shall they have who far toil mightily reward for Christ than
on those who have rendered a greater
Some of hastening only half toward a service, the
reward the you are f on
of righteous want to cheer
you up at the thought that there will be some
kind of a reward waiting for you. There arq
Christian people in this house who are very
near heaven. This week some of you may.
pass out into the light of the unset*
ting sun. I saw a blind man going
along kept pounding the road with his .staff, and then* he'
the earth and
stamping do with Eisfoot Isaid to him: “What
do you that ford’ “Oh,” he said, “lean
tell by the sound of the ground when I am
by near tee a dwelling.” 80und And some of you can tell
of your earthly pathway that
you are coming near to vour Father’s house,
* congratulate you. Oh, weather-beaten
voyagei-s.the stor is are driving you into the
aarbor. Just as wheu you were looking for a
i friend, and you came up to the gates of his house,
you friend were hoisted talking the with window the servant, shouted: when
your and
“Come in! come in!" Just so, when you come
to the gate of the future world, and you are
talking tee with methinks death, the black porter at
window gate, and Christ will hoist to#
say: “Come ini cpme ini I will
make thee ruler over ten citiea” Inantici
pation Augustus of Topladv, that land the I do not wonder that
Ages,” declared author of “Rock o!
nothing in his last moment: “I have.
more ’to pray for: God has give :;
my brothers and sisters, how sweet it will be,
after the long wilderness march, to get homa
s&r - —
The Yalue of a Farm Boy.
It is my impression that a farm with¬
out a boy boy would soon come to grief.
What a does is the life of the farm.
He and is always the factotum, always in demand,
and things expected to do the thousand
one that nobody else will do.
Upon difficult him falls the odds and ends, the
most things. After everybody
else is through he is expected to finish
up. His work is like a woman’s, per¬
petually knows how waiting much oh easier others. it is Everybody to cook
a
good afterwards. dinner than to wash tho dishes
Consider what a boy on a
farm is required to do; things that must
be done or life would actually stop. It
is understood, in the first place, that he
is to do all the errands, to go to the
store, to the post office, and to cany all
sorts of messages. If he had as many
legs as the centipede, they would tire
before night. He is the one who spreads
the grass as the men cut it; he stows it
away in the barn; he rides the horse to
cultivate the com, up and down the hot,
when weary they rows; lie picks up the potatoes
and splits are dug; he bnngs wood and'
water kindling; he gets up the
horse and turns out the horse. Whether
he is in the house Qr out of the house,
there is always something to do. Just
before school in the winter he shovels
paths; in summer he turns the grind¬
stone. And yet, with his mind fnll of
schemes of what he would like to do, and
his hands full of occupation, he is an
idle boy, with nothing to busy himself
with but schools and chores. He would
gladly would do all the work if somebody else
do all the chores, he thinks; and
yet, I doubt if any boy ever amounted
to anything in the world, or was of much
use as a man, who did not enjoy the ad¬
vantages ohores of a liberal education in the
way of .—Charlts Dudley Warner.
glx and g Half Tons of Diamonds.
Ventured Surely to even compute Sindbad his the diamonds Sailor never
the ton. Six and half tons of diamonds, by
a
valued at about £40,000,000, are report¬
ed to have been extracted from four
African mines alone in the course of the
last few years. The other great diamond
field of the world is India, also a British
sterdam possession. has Eveiybody knows that Am¬
hitherto been the centre of
the diamond-cutting industry of the
world, and in former times there was a
good reason for this, as in London, at
least, the industry was extinct. But
of everybody late probably does not know that
years efforts have been success¬
fully ting in made England to reintroduce diamond out
and that English cut¬
ters have beaten the Dutch in several
reoent prize competitions. Considering
the enormous value of the trade—the
quires United states alone Jit ia calculated, re¬
£8,000,000 worth of cut diamonds
per annum—oare should be taken that
land, English diamonds should be out in Eng¬
and not he sent either to Amster¬
dam or to Antwerp and Paris, whioh
have lately endeavored to secure a por¬
tion of the Dutch trade.— St. James Oa
telte.
HUMAN HAIR.
Where French Maidens Sell
Their Luxurious Tresses.
Relative Value of the Various
Types of Hirsute Growth.
There is a human hair market at Mor
ians, in the department of the Lower
French Pyrenees. It is little known
excopt perhaps in Paris, whore it has a
high reputation. The market is held
every other Friday. Hundreds of
trafficking hair dressers throng to the
little place from far and near to buy up
the hair of tho young peasant girls.
The dealers wander up and down tho
long narrow street of the town, each
with a huge pair of bright shears hang¬
ing from a black leather
strap around his waist, while
the young girls who wish to part with
their hair stand about m the doorways,
usually in couplo3. Tho transaction is
carried on in the best room of the
house. The hair is lot down, the tresses
combed out, and the dealer names \ho
price. This varios from three to 20
francs. If a bargain is struck the dealer
lays the money in the opon palm of the
seller, applies his shears, and in a min¬
ute the long tresses fall on the floor.
The purchaser rolls up the trosscs,
places them in paper, and thrusts thorn
into his pocket. Of course a maiden
can rarely see her fallen tresses disap¬
pear into tho dealer's pocket without
crying, but she consoles herself with
tho thought that it will grow again and
by looking at tho money in hor hand.
There is at presont a scarcity of fancy
human hair in the market. Tho scarcest
hair is pure white, and its value is con¬
stantly increasing; and if it is unusually
long—that dealer is, from four feet to five feet
—the can get almost his own
price, while if it is of ordinary length it
is worth from 875 to 500 francs ($75 to
$100) an ounce. The fact that nure
th * *** trough
ou<; Europe keeps the demand for it very
hinh. It is much urizod hv American
who desire to eqrich its folds, for white
hair is held to give certain distinction
to tho wearer. There is no fancy mar¬
ket for gray hair; it is too common. It
is used to work into wigs of persons
who are growing old.
What is described as golden hair is
either a washed-out pale red or a dull
blond. Tho goli color so much val¬
ued has no relation to red hair, except
in the vividness of its coloring, The
demand for tho virgin gold color is
great in the capitals of Europe. A
woman who gets a coiffure of it is con¬
sidered fortunate. Thoro aro four
type colors of hair—white, blond, black
and brown—and each of those has boon
subdivided into sixteen different shades.
The commonest types aro black and
brown, and these aro cheap. Golden
brown is much in favor, as
is pure black, or what is
called blue-black. Next to pure white
hair the demand is for hair of the color
of virgin gold. There are many braids
made of hair colored to meet tho de¬
mand with certain preparations, but
they prove unsatisfactory. Many foolish
women have sought to change tho color
of their own tresses, but they have uni¬
formly repented the attempt. A fine
suit of hair of the purest blond type
will sell for from 1000 francs to 2500
francs ($200 to $500). It i3 said that
the Empress Eugenie paid 1000 francs
($200) an ounce fora braid of golden
hair that exactly matched her owa.
The largest supply of hair comes from
Switzerland and Germany, and espe¬
cially from the French provinces. The
country fairs are attendod by agents of
merchants in London, Paris and Vionna.
Only at intervals, however, is a prize
like a perfect suit of golden hair ob¬
tained, and I am told that there aro
orders ahead in tho shops of Paris and
London for all the golden hair that can
be obtained in the next five years.
When a stock of hair is collected by
travelling agents it is assorted, washod
and cleaned. Then each hair is drawn
through the eye of a needle and pol¬
ished. When the stock is ready for the
market here the nobility is permitted to
make tho first choice.
A woman’s hair may grow to the
length of six feet. Mme. Hess of Paris
geifised $1000 for her “cranial cover
ing” which was about that measurement.
Four hundred hairs of average thick¬
ness would cover an inch of space. The
blond belie has about 140,000 filaments
to comb and brush, while the red-haired
beauty has to be satisfied with 88,000;
the brown-haired damsel may have 109,
000; the black-haired but 102,000. Fe w
ladies consider that they carry some .40
or 60 miles of hair on their head; the
fair haired may oven have to dress 70
miles of threads of gold every morning.
A German experimentalist has proved
that a single hair will suspend four
ounces without breaking, stretching
under the process and contracting
again. But the hair thus heavily
weighted must be dark brown, for
blond hair breaks down under two and
a h^f ounces.
As regards the wig trade, the most
expensive wigs are, of course, pure
white and the virgin gold color. A
young Brooklyn lady of much beauty
possesses a splendid wig of the latter
kind, which sho chanced to find in a
shop at Nice. Sho was a blond, but
had a scanty supply of dull hair. It
did not take her an instant to decide to
have her hair cut short and to wear thu
wig.—[Galignani’s Messenger.
Canine Sagacity.
A pretty little story comos to mo from
London, says the“Bibble-Babble”writei
of tho New York News, which is such
a good illustration of sagacity in ani¬
mals, that I am sure it will boar repeat¬
ing. One morning the porter of a Lon¬
don hospital heard two dogs barking
loudly at the door ol tho out patient de¬
partment and, hurrying to sec what was
the cause of the disturbance, he found
sitting on the stoop a sad-looking,‘ long¬
haired collie dog, whoso right foro-foot
had been wounded, and which, as he
hold it from the stop, was bleeding pro¬
fusely. Beside tho poor creature stood
two little fox torriors, who, immediately
as the porter showod his head, bolted
away in hot hasto, leaving their suffer¬
ing companion at tho door. Tho collio
was taken into the dispensary, where it
was found that an artery in its paw had
been severed by somo sharp instrument,
and in short order tho wound was
dressed and bandaged by a young at¬
tending surgeon, just as if. the dog had
been an ordinary human being. It was
evident that tho littlo torriors meeting
the unfortunate collio, and having seen
people going to tho hospital determined when any
aeckiect had.befallen.thorn,
to show him tho way there, and then to
bark until ho was admitted. A gentle¬
man being told this story became suf¬
ficiently interested in it to make in¬
quiries, and to ascertain whethor or not
these suppositions wore correct. He
traced the blood • all tho way from the
hospital to a spot called Clement's Inn,
not far distant, where between two of
the groat law court buildings that are
situated there was found an opening
just largo enough to admit tho body of
a dog. There was found a pieco of
raggod-odgod glass, and the adjoining
pavement being covored with blood
Btains proved the place to have boon
the scene of the accident. An intimate
friend of miao, Mr. William Hutt, a
book-seller, whose store is in Clement’s
Inn, writes mo that ono of the littlo
terriers who took part in this curious
drama wa3 his, while tho other be¬
longed to bis brother. And thus tho
chain of evidcnco was established.
Tracklaying by Machine,
George Roberts, inventor of Roberts’
steam railroad track layer, has returned to
Ellensburg, Washington Territory, from
the Greon River branch of the Northern
Pacific, where a practical test of the
machine was made in tho presence of
about 300 railroad men and spectators.
The machino worked beyond the ex¬
pectations of tho inventor and to his en¬
tire satisfaction, tho men laying at the
rate of two and a half miles of track
per day, and 12 men doing the work of
75 by the old way. It handled ties and
rails of the heaviest kind—used in con¬
structing mountain roads—with the
greatest eoso, placing them rapidly and
accurately in position. The machine is
so constructed that it can be used on
any ordinary flat car, the motive power
being an eight horse power engine. All
construction material is moved on rollers
from the rear to tho front, where the
machino takes up tho rails and the ties,
laying them very rapidly.
Where tho tost was made the grade
was steep and difficult. Tho great suc¬
cess attending the trial has caused tho
Northern Pacific to secure the refusal
of the first machine, and the inventor is
now arranging for building two mora
machines to cost $1200, and the inventor
receives a royalty of $50 per mile.—
[New York News.
Why He Went.
“Is Mr. Bromley tall?”
“Personally he is.”
“Personally?'*
* ‘Yes. Officially ho is short—$30,000
short. That’s why he went to Mon¬
treal. ”^^azar.
A. comely figure in a woman has its 1
charms ; but it is the in comely figure
that is the most delightful. (
NO. 45.
The Lion Among the Flower*
Hero in this garden-nook alone,
Lies an old lion of gray stone—
Once, in the long-gone golden hour*
A lordly lion, prond in state,
The guardian of a mansion-gate—
Now he lies low among the flowers.
Then, oft he saw the shining doors,
Heard light feet fall on festal floors,
Heard music wake its witching din;
Then danced beneath the torches’ blaze
The knights and ladies of old days,
While he watched over all within.
Now, he llos here; in his old age
Cast out, rejected, by the rage
Of time down-beaten, broken, scarred,
An old gray lion; yet not less
A lion in his feebleness—
One thing is left him still to guard.
Ho guards it well, by night and day,
In those great paws of granite gray,
In the strong shelter of his breast;
No man shall serve him yet with scorn,
Though on old lion thus forlorn,
And all he guards—a robin’s nest I
—[New York Tribuna
HUMOROUS.
A nod fellow—Tho policoman.
Good only when used up—-Tho um¬
brella.
It is queer that no logs aro ever rafted
down the River Styx.
Of course & ball player can be put out
and not lose his temper.
It is claimed that all absconding cash¬
iers aro ex-chequer payers.
A man wants to look before ho leaps,
especially if he is a blind man.
Whan a man settles money on his son
it frequently unsettles tho son.
Natural gas well secrets are noted for
the ease with which they leak out
In the game of Chicago wheat it is
after a deal that a fellow wants to cut.
“Another lio nailed,” said the clerk
as he tacked up a ‘ ‘selling out at cost”
sign.
A coffin trust has been organized.
This is carrying the thing into tho
ground.
‘• Ad Irish theatries, manager recently
advertised for a broth of a boy to make
a “supe.”
No matter how prompt actors may be
at rehearsaU thcro is always one man
who is prompter.
Samson wonld never have made a
minister. Ho had no respect for the
pillars of the church.
“No,” quoth the topor, “I never wear,
A waterproof, not I;
Indeed I strain a point t’avoid
Whatever keeps me dry.”
A Boston policeman refused to arrest
a man for stealing, knowing him to be
deaf, and realizing that ho could not
get a hearing before a magistrate.
Judge—“The jury will now withdraw
and find a verdict,” Prisoner—“They
needn’t withdraw on my account. They
can stay right here, as far as I am con¬
cerned.’’
“Do you think I’m tn idiot, sir!”
thundered a fiery Scotch laird to his new
footman. “You see, sir,’’ replied the
canny Scot, “I am no lang her* and I
dinna ken yet.”
There is a man living in the direction
of tho setting sun from this cffica so
mean that he wouldn’t give away a cent
to anything. He wouldn’t even give
away to his feelings.
A Missouri editor pullod both barrels
of a shot-gun on a man who came up
stairs to lick him, and, as was right and
proper, he double-leaded hh article in
regard to tho tragedy.
An agricultural journal makes the re¬
markable statement that “a horseshoe
nailed on the forward feet of a cow or a
steer will prevent jumping fences.”
Farmers who have trouble with jump¬
ing fences should try the experiment.
A jumping fence on a farm must bo very
annoying.
Livery Stable Proprietor to Young
Man— “What made the horse run
away?” Young Man—“A cow jumped
out of the bushes by the road and
frightened him.” Livery Stable Pro
prieto—“He’s asmalL horse. Couldn’t
you hold him?” Young Man—“Yes;
but I couldn’t hold him and the girl,
too.”
I
Parisian Abattoir*
The slaughter-houses of Paris are
clean; no offensive odor frightens the
animals to be killed; there are blows,
no worrying and fretting, mo unneces¬
sary cruelty. Tho animals are brought
to the block quietly from clean stalls,
where they were fed and cared for as
though intended for a long life. Some
one has suggested that the excellency
of their meat is due to the methods
adopted by Paris slaughter-houses.
Feverish excitement and cruelty pro
duce unwholesome meat and cause
death and disease among the consum*
ers.”—[Pioayuae.
