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About Weekly constitutionalist. (Augusta, Ga.) 185?-1877 | View Entire Issue (July 7, 1875)
The Weekly Constitutionalist. WEDNESDAY JULY 7, 1875. The Financial Question— Disagreement of the Doctors. On our first page, this morning, we publish some very excellent selections touching upon the financial difficulties of this country. The article of the Journal of Commerce is specially forci ble and impressive. Confession is made that New York, the grand money centre of the continent, is in a melan choly condition of trade, and that the shrinkage of values, added to depres sion in business, presents a picture ab solutely frightful. The fact is our Northern friends are beginning to have their share—and it will be a full one— of the results of the Abolition war and unfriendly legislation since 1865. They have been aptly compared to hogs under an oak tree eating acorns', without looking up to see whence the providential banquet came. They cut down the tree, at the bidding of a fa natical cabal, who were either in the pay of England or else deceived by British policy, and lo ! the acorns are gone and a gnawing at the vitals has put in an appearance. The emancipa tion and enfranchisement of tho ne groes, by a destructive war and deadly legislation, have made tho North sick almost unto death, and the cry re sounds from the leading commercial journal of the United States: “Who shall deliver us from this body of death and save us from the wrath to come?” As an example of the con traction of real estate valuation, it is averred that Boss Twekl>’s pro perty, which was worth $6,000,- 000 at the time of his incarcera tion, would go begging now at $2,000,- 000. The New York paper very truly declares that the present money stand ard is “ a lie and a sham.” Yea, verily, it is so, and how should It be aught else, springing as it did from the most gigantic lie and most mastadonic sham» of the nineteenth century ? It is quite difficult for the country to agree upon any plan by which the standard of values shall be fixed upon a gold basis. Tho idea suggested by tho Journal of Commerce is an excellent one; but, uufortunately, the States are divided into debtor and creditor commonweaths, and how to reconcile such divergent interests may well strain the genius of political economists. The point made by tho inflationists that so long as tho Government dishonors its own “ pro mises to pay” the people will not honor thorn is a strong and stinging argu ment. Tho assertion of the hard money men that until wo get down to a gold basis there will bo no fixity and safety in finance is only too true. The polifcb" cian who can reconcile these wide dit- | foranooe and hoal' the breach is the “coming man” in America—the groat. Napoleon of the realm of money, and tho next President if ho cares to be.— For our part, wo have small hopes of any such porson emerging from the ranks of the Republican or Democratic factions. The laws of nature, trade and morals have been so foarfully vio lated that it would seem Divinity it self would be required to disentangle this exasperating mesh. One of two things, however, wo may count upon with something like certainty: Either the United States must come to a gold basis on terms equitable to all sections, or else the French assignats will have their rivals in American From present appearances the evil is curing itself; but before the process shall have been perfected, vast and widespread will be the calamity to thousands of persons. Should the South make such crops as she bids fair to do this season, we believe that her condition will be, comparatively speak ing, much better than that of the East or West. Our Northern brethren have cause to keep alive the Centennial fires, and make much ado over the Southern people. They have had a bitter experience of harassing us; and we are glad that, even by the sharp goad of necessity, they begin to per ceive that upon our friendship and in dustry, as well as tho principles of the Constitution wo sought to maiutaiu, their own prosperity mainly depends. What Tweed Says.— The Boss is thus reported penitentially : “Personally I have had little benefit from the moneys taken from the city. Everybody had a claim upon me, and right and left I have disbursed tho fuuds to others. My lawyers were paid half a million. Investments in real estate have been ruinous. Immense sums have been lost in stock speculation ; aud though I am reputed to be immensely rich, except tho property settled on my wife I have nothing.” Bursting into tears, he added : “I would gladly give every dollar I have in tho world to make J restitution.” It would be curious to | ascertain how much the Boss hid un-! der his wife’s bustle. Mr. Tweed’s tes- j timony is valuable, to the extent of j showing that money dishouestly gained i brings only shame aud infamy to the j robber. There is a gentleman now in the Brit- j ish Parliament whose election expenses were $72,000, or about $lO for every vote he received. Suicide—lts Prevalence In this Coun try-Motives for the Act. Our exchanges are filled with ac counts of suicide, some of the incidents being very peculiar. The motives are 4 so various that a mere enumeration would take a great deal of space and run the gamut of every passion and eccentricity in frail humanity. The leading causes, however, are remorse, dissipation, domestic trouble and hu miliating poverty. In the great ma jority of cases we incline to a belief that constant brooding over woes, real or imaginary, produce insanity and that, in a wild moment of despair, aggrava ted by physical disorder, precious life is taken. It very frequently happens that when a man becomes unfortunate in any way, he resorts not to heaven and religion for relief and guardi anship from himself, but to the brandy or whiskey bottle. The result of that kind of consolation is usually disastrous. The temperance people have a good anecdote of a per son who was asked whether he consid ered getting drunk as grave a crime as any of the other seven capital sins. He answered that intemperance was the least offense. It chanced, however, ac cording to the narrative, that, happen ing to become intoxicated, he commit ted all the crimes enumerated. Now and then very remarkable explanations are given by individuals who slay them selves. In a Northern exchange we read, for example, that on Saturday last a respectably dressed man, who registered his name as John Schneider and his address as New York, took a room at French’s Hotel, in that city. Within the next three days he drank freely, but was not at any time Intoxi cated. On Wednesday at 1 o’clock he went to his room, and a few hours later he was found stretched on the floor, his head and face besmeared with blood and a navy revolver near his right hand. The following letter, written in German, to some unmentlon ed friends, was found on his person : Dear Friends—The stop I am now com pelled to take is very unpleasant. lam shaking all over my body so I can hardly write these lines. Thousands of dollars X have lost, thousands I have invested in goods, and thousands I have trusted out. Now I cannot receive a cent from anybody, notwithstanding I am so hard up. I cannot work with my own hands, so I have to take this unpleasant step. lam sorry I have to leave this world in good health, and sorry that I have to leave those I have helped so often. I lake this step much against my will—not so much because of myself as on account of my two sons, to whom tho dis grace of my death may attach But I can not remain in this world much longer, God is my witness. So, now, farewell, and If I havo Injured any one I ask forgiveness. But for tho last four or five years there has so much bad hick; and times have been so hard, my only course now is to do Went X aUMaOUt to dt) No doubt tl*®ro are many rndra who will 1 soon be driven to the samedeaM God have mercy! Here dies biie that IsTiOt a bad man! That is a sad confession. It is the lot of most of the children of men to be betrayed by their fellows, but they are safe so long as they do not betray thomselves into tho commission of an act which involves such irreparable consequences. For the unhappy crea tures who take a leap Into the dark, by their own act, we have nothing but pity, compassion aud charity. The God who made them will judge them mercifully and weigh them in a balance of His own. There are weak aud strong men, healthy and sick, morbid and clear souled, lucky and unlucky. Strange, wild, varied and dramatic are their careers; and when darkness comes upon any of them, mocking the sun shine that falls softly and brilliantly upon others, we are painfully reminded of the true lines of the poet: •‘Why, let the strioken deer go weep, The hart ungalled play; For some mu t wake while others sleep— Thus runs the world away!” Judge John A. Campbell—A Georgia Reminiscence. The New Orleans Sunday Delta pub lishes a splendid sketch of Hon. John A. Campbell, who was born in Wilkes county, Georgia, and is a graduate of our University. Gov. Gilmer relates, in his book on “Georgians,” this an ecdote of father and son : Col. Campbell was a man of talents, up right and agreeable in his social relations. His sou, John, gave early proofs of the ex traordinary acumen which has since made him the great lawyer of the South. Whilst he was a student of Franklin College, his father visited Athens, and was invited to attend a meeting of the Demosthenean So ciety, of which both father and son were members. Col. Campbell held forth, by requost, upon tho topic of debate. When he was done speaking, John asked leave to an swer the old geutlemun, and so knocked all his futhor’s conclusions iuto non sequiturs, that it was difficult to tell which had the uppermost iu the father’s feelings—morti fied vanity or gratified pride. Campbell senior probably felt some what like the second Mendelssohn, who said he was nobody himself but would descend to after ages as the son of a great philosopher and the father of a great musician. Brigham Young was kissed 4,468 times on his last birthday by his wives and children. We are confidentially informed that the Mormon sage has about concluded, after going through this ordeal, that he won’t have any more birthdays. Beecher and the Prodigal Son- Beach’s Centre Shot.' While Mr. Beach was pouring hot shot into the Plymouth pastor, no con non balls were found so effective as those heated In the furnace of Mr. Beecher’s sermons. The most dam aging missile was H. W. B.’s exposition of the Prodigal Son. According to Mr. Beecher, the good and wise son who remained with his father was a pusillanimous sneak and a white-liver ed Jack-a Dandy, unworthy of the ad miration of man or love of woman. But to the outlawed son and his swinish proclivities Mr. Beeches turn ed with an unction which caused many people to believe that a fellow-feeling made him wondrous kind. Hear him: There was another son; he heariO&e sir gl g and the danci g, and he was angry ar.d w juld not go In; his father came out and entreated him. Now* I had rather have been the prodigal sou than his broth er. He was too stingy to get was too cautious, too unsympathetic to sin lasciviously. He was lean, mean, stiff and proper. The character of the thrifty son was not perfect, and he was at fault when he sulked ; but when a Christian pastor holds up the one to execration and the other to reverence, it Is putting a premium upon vice; it is provoking “ white-souled ” women to sin and lie about him ; it is, in effect, proclaiming that lust, disobedience and riotous be havior are types of a noble nature, and that a bad life is not to be condemned, provided the culprit, when hungry, abased and ashamed of his pig sty, re turns to his father and his flesh pots. There should be rejoicing over such a return, God knows ; but it seems to us that the true argument of a Chris tian minister should be to warn his congregation that sin is al ways hideous, that it leads to the abodes of the beast, that it is far better to avoid its first approaches, rather than take the risk of ultimate repent ance and a final jubilee on the return homeward. If young men take Mr. Beecher’s view of the prodigal son, many of them will finish miserably; for it iu safe to say that where one youth retraces his steps from the hog-wallow ten thousand die there in unutterable filth. Grant and Bnnker IliU—Why the President Staid Away. According to a Long Branch corres pondent of the New York Herald, Grant and his Cabinet did not go to the Bun ker Hill centennial because of the un gentlemanly treatment they received at the Lexington celebration. Referring to disgraceful squabbles over the ex penses of the Administration, the Pres ident is thus reported He felt that?this di-ci.«s!•» on MWjjjjim* of the local - Jppllfi; was an offense of the grmtmt insult of a host to a guest, as he visited New England at the invitation of the au thorities. His presence was a gracl us and kindly act. adding largely to the success of the oelebratlon. He was not allowed to in cur any expense, or to bear any portion of his entertainment. Yet, as soon as he re turned, ho found that the bills for his enter tainment had been made matters of discus sion, and that questions had been asko.i as to whether the Presldeat should or should not drink wine, or should or should not smoko cigars; that the amount of wine charged in the bill had been a matter of amazement and reproach, and that one of the committee wont so far as to express his alarm lest the habits of the President should lead him Into an unusual aad painful con dition of fife. The Nashville Union and American, making the above editorial digest of the President’s position, frankly adds: “We hardly doubt that the sentiment of the country will be with Grant in this matter. It was shabby of those Down Easters counting drinks on him.” While sympathizing with the Execu tive iu this matter, it does not escape us that Action is being devoured by his own dogs. Aged. — Jacques de Lakis, now in Paris, claims that he was bora in 1620, and that he is consequently 225 years old. All the people do not believe him, how ever. For a five dollar bill, put where it would do most good, Jacques could easily find a nurse who was present at his birth. There are plenty of negro women who nursed George Washing ton. Perish the thought that the nurse of de Lakis Is no more 1 Then and Now.—Mrs. Lincoln, dur ing the war, refused to see a sister of hers who was on the Confederate side, saying, “I would not let any one who was an enemy of my country cross my threshold.” That sister, if alive, would probably be welcomed by the poor wo man who has gone from the White House to an Insane Asylum. Keeley Motor.— The Chicago Times “puts the beer” on Keeley thus : “It should not be a matter of doubt what substance Keeley, the motor man, finds powerful enough to support the awful force which his great invention gener ates. Mr. Keeley’s cheek, we should guess, is strong enough to support a pressure of at least six hundred thous and pounds to the squre inch.” “ It’s generally the ease with bad boys,” philosophically remarks Miss Anthony, “that they look like their mother and act like their father.” Rapid Transit—To Europe in Five Days. Thomas Winans, of Baltimore, the great engineer and millionaire, spent 8500,000 experimenting with his “cigar ship,” which was to cross the Atlantic, with the mails, in five days. The im portance of this quick passage was manifest at the time, and Mr. Winans was congratulated upon perfecting a method of ocean letter carriage which would have proved extremely valuable to the commercial world. Just as suc cess was almost within his grasp, Cyecs W. Field succeeded in laying the Atlantic cable, and, in a moment, the enterprise of Winans fell into dis qualification. He could compete with steam, but electricity was too much for him. It would appear, however, from recent developments, that the idea of the Marylander has been a powerful hint to other inventors, and specially so to Mr. Abner W. Colgate, who gives at length, through the columns of the Galaxy, his view3 of the practicability of so improving naviga tion that the passage from America to Europe may be made in five days and the sea practically robbed of many of its terrors. Mr. Colgate’s project, its possible utility, and disadvantages are thus condensed and criticized by the Chicago Tribune: “He would separate the freight and passenger traffic entirely, at least as far as cabin passengers are concerned. He says the present system of using the same boat for both purposes ‘is very much as if our railroad, instead of providing passenger cars, gave us nothing better than seats on top of the freight cars, with a speed of about 15 miles an hour; or as it our horse breeders had never developed but one style of animal, whether for the race course or draught purpose.’ About one-fourth of the steamships now ply ing on the Atlantic should be by others designed exclusively for passenger traffic. These new boats would be cigar-shaped propellers. The machinery and coal would be at the bottom af the hull; the state-rooms at the top; and the intervening space, about two-thirds of the whole, would be filled with air-tight and water-tight cells hermetically sealed. On their in terior might be a solid mass of cork. The vessel would be a gigantic life preserver in itself. The passenger could be sure of being carried safely across, for such a vessel could not burn and would not sink if it went to pieces. These boats would sturt from Whitehaven, a harbor at the south eastern point of Nova Scotia, and run to Plymouth or Brest. An average speed of 21 mlioa an hour, J>e, attained, would then shorten tt*e jgrnjßN i "lU'WCnlrn auijl .Jim■ qte cl ttys. U'JXHKSti' are two questions to be pwi in regard to this Idea; Will it pay? Is it practicable? Both must be answered in the affirmative before the cigar shaped steamers will be built. Mr. Colgate thinks it wiH pay, because one of the vessels would cost only about as much as one of the present style; would make throe trips to the latter’s one ; would makb the board of passen gers only half as costly ; and would greatly attract the traveling public, many of whom would be willing to pay more for a speedy passage than a te dious one. Moreover, the port expenses would be light, since the steamer would lie at anchor only a day. Again, higher rates would be paid for mail sorviee.And finally,the amount of travel would increase. There is some truth in all this, although Mr. Colgate seems to have unconsciously exaggerated the weight of his argument. There would be a general distrust of the new boats that would sadly interfere with their patronage and profits. Speed and safety have come to be thought con tradictory terms on the ocean, and for one man who would pay $l5O to be landed at Plymouth in five days, there are ten who would rather pay SSO and not get there for ten days. Then the practicability of the plan is very doubt ful. Whether a steamship could be forced more than 15 miles an hour, on an average, without overloading it with ooal to begin with, and heating it redbot amidships to end with, has been questioned. We fear this generation will never cross the ocean in five days ” While it is just as well to take with much caution the enterprising phe nomena of a Colgate or a Keelev, we must remember that men are now liv ing who hooted at locomotive and steamship travel, and to whom the ca ble telegraph was the maddest vision that ever emanated from a distempered fancy. Recalling the wonderful strides made within the last few years in scientific progress, and the prodigious mental activity of the 19th century, we are more than impressed with a belief that, whether by Colgate or some other person, a method will, in the next generation, be devised for short ening the voyage between the two con tinents to at least five days; and it is equally a matter of conviction that a majority of travellers will pay an ad ditional price cheerfully, in order to save time and diminish the risk they run of losing their lives. Mozart was a Jew. THE FINANCIAL PROBLEM. SHREWD GUESSES AT A GREAT CONUNDRUM. Why Business Stagnates and How to Get Out of the Quagmire—The Coun try on the Verge of Bankruptcy, if Not Actually Insolvent—Gold and Greenback Arguments—All a Mud dle. [From the X. Y. Journal of Commerce.] There needs no oratory to set forth the decadence of mercantile and com mercial interests among ua. The idle shipping at the wharves, the closed fac tories in the suburbs, the empty ware houses and the declining rents, the useless capital finding no outlet in profitable enterprise, the tenantless houses in this city and the surrounding neighborhood, and the utter impossi bility of obtaining a caßh purchaser for unimproved real estate at any price— these tell their own sad story in lan guage more forcible than the utterance of human speech. It is worse than folly to disguise the truth. The san guine are forever pleading for hopeful words, and have repeated the predic tion at every new moon for the last three years that the tide has turned and that trade was reviving. We would gladly echo the cheerful strain if it were not misleading, and likely to do far more harm than good. There are times when the word of encouragement is all that is needed to give a start to enterprise and stir the pulses of trade to fresh activity. But it needs more than that at present to recover the market from its lethargy and renew among us the hum of busy industries. Owing to our monetary system we are at a disadvantage with all the rest of the world, and New York feels it far more than any other Northern city. Ten years have elapsed since the war was ended, and our metropolis has gone back, during the interval, in nearly every form of commercial activity. The evidences cannot be concealed from others, even if we would blind our own eyes to the truth; and he is no true friend of our city who flatters the vanity of our people with false color ings regarding its condition. From the very nature of its far-reaching connec tions and intimate sympathy with out side industries and activities—now more or less prostrate or paralyzed— New York has felt more keenly than any other financial centre the general depression. And if some remedy is not soon applied, this suffering will be come chronic, and the prostration will be permanent. Who is there that is making money ? Where are the steady accumulations which ordinarily wait on untiring in dustry ? In what reservoir are gar nered the profitable returns of far reaching commerce? Who knows of anything that promises to-day a fair return for the capital waiting idly the opportunity of profitable use ? What trader, whether dealing in wholesale with distant customers, or at retail with our own citizens, can take an ac count of stock at its cash value, mark off all debts that give him any uneasi ness, and point tothebalance of steady gains ? Some 6how a larger surplus on paper, but who can turn all his estate into real money, pay off his honest dues, and count in hand as much as he was really worth ten yeairs ago. * 3P»te. tea way out df’ibfe quagmire, ! wK|ISP’' : must be thoroughlv aro&sed bes ©re they will take it, and so many are already entangled that they are afraid to struggle lest they sink the deeper, and fail, hopelessly, of final ex trication. The paper-money system is the leaden weight that fetters industry and stifles enterprise. If our citizens were wide-awake enough to see this as it really is when stripped of all dis guises, They would find a method of de liverance. Something might be done to set the reform in motion if a few resolute men would take the initiative in good ear nest If the Chamber of Commerce and the several produce and commer cial exchanges would, by united or sep arate action, resolve to apply truthful names to existing realities, the move ment would be well inaugurated. We mean by this, that if every honest man who knows what a lie and a sham the present money standard is would give his voice in favor of fixing a gold price and a gold standard from a given date (say the Ist of September next) to his daily transactions, the quickeniug in fluence of the change would be felt at once throughout the country. It needs but a little courage on the part of a few to set the ball in motion, and the remaining sequences would need noth ing but careful guidance. If those who are so deeply interested in this vital question would b'*gin to call a dollar by its true name; to enter every trade at its real price In dollars ; to quote a paper promise worth 81 cents to t)ie hundred as an actual depreciat ed currency circulating at this discount; to keep all their records in real money, and adjust their dealings to it on this basis, the first effectual step toward a new prosperity will have been taken. This is throwing no discredit on Gov ernment issues, and, so far from de preciating the paper money, it would tend to give it an increased market value. No one would decline to take the greenbacks or the bank notes. — These would pass current for as much (or more) as at present, but their real value would be stated openly instead of reckoned covertly as now, and the true object to be attained would be fairly before the public no more to be con cealed or evaded until it. was reached. Instead of selling a barrel of flour at $8 aud taking eight one dollar green backs for it, let the price be $6.75 and pay eight greenbacks for it, each reck oned at 84 cents. If gold could once be restored to its real place in the daily reckonings of this market, the relief would be so great that people would - wonder how they ever consented to the usurpation of this nightmare, which has afflicted us for so many years. We shall never begin to loosen this yoke until we set the task fairly before us in some such way we have suggested. We commend this to the thoughtful consideration of all who are not satisfied to sink, w ith out a struggle, into hopeless insol vency. The Virtuous “Hards.” [Richmond Dispatch.] It is a matter of “ miration ’’—that affectation of virtue of the “hard money” Puritans. Prostitution itself could not be more shocked at incon stancy. They affect to consider that money for which the nation is bound “ dishonest” It is paid out by Gov ernment and is secured by Govern ment bonds. The nation itself must fail ere that fails. The people have en tire faith in it and are content with it, and yet the “ hards ” affect to consider it “ dishonest.” Os course that is mere impertinent assumption for effect. “Gold” is their touchstone. No pa per that is not immediately converti ble into gold is “honest.” Then, there never has been any “honest” paper money in the United States. Man can not devise it. Gold cannot be paid un der any and all conditions of the coun try. And the man who assumes that no paper money is honest, not at all times redeemable in gold, is an ass. Gold is chiefly useful as a means of settling balances between communities and nations. In a perfectly healthy condition of the country’s finances, gold is not needed at all for domestic exchanges. But the moment these finances become deranged, and gold is sought by the fearful and distrustful capitalists, it cannot be paid out. The outward flowing stream is soon ex hausted and the gates are shut. Now, what the country wants is enough currency and a cessation from financial tinkering until confidence is entirely restored. Then specie pay ments may be resumed without harm to anybody. But go on tinkering and curtailing currency until it may be assumed that there is not enough paper afloat to en able the people to exhaust the stock of gold in the banks and the Government vaults, and there will not only be tithe or twentieth of enough money to conduct the business of the country, but half the business men of the land will be hopelessly ruined. Well, what do you want resumption for ? The good of the people, you say. Well, shall the people be ruined for their good ? Is that the way to bestow blessings upon the nation? THE BUEUL-GILBERT MARRIAGE CASE. The Ceremony Declared Valid. Indianapolis, June 28. —ln the Marion Criminal Court, Judge Chapman to-day rendered the following verdict in case of the State vs. J. R. Buell and Susan D. Gilbert, indicted for fornication : Regarding the various provisions of the statute together, it seems to stand on all-fours with the common law in regard to the effect of the absence of ceremonial forms upon the validity of marriages. If either of the parties to the marriage regard it as a union as husband and wife, it shall not be either void or voidable be cause the requirements of the statute in regard to the license or solemni zation have not been complied with, and it seems probable by the proviso to section three, that where the parties take out a marriage license, and act ing under that license appear before any person and pronounce by and through him an agreement to become man aud wife, the marriage will be valid and the parties held to the con tract, without any regard to the belief the parties may have entertained in regard to its legality, especially if fol lowed by cohabitation. But the de cision of this proposition is not neces sary to the case in hand. The defend ants took out a license and in the presence of certain witnesses them selves solemnized a ceremony of mar riage, and took each the other for husband and wife, respectively, using each the form of words hereto fore set out, without the inter position of any other persons, save the persons who appeared in the character of witnesses. The only portion of the formula used by the de fendants in this portion of the cere mony to which an exception is taken, is that embraced in the words: “So long as the union of love and life shall last.” But Ido not think these words are very significant, nor that they or any other words which may be em ployed in a marriage ceremony, touch ing the duration of the contract, are of any legal force, or in any way qualify the contract, if the parties agreoto be husband an l wife, and presently there after assume the statute, the law set tles the nature and duration of the contract and any stipulations the party might make in regard thereto would be mere idle words or mawkish senti ment. The court is of opinion that their agreement to dissolve the contract, by their own consent, in case their respec tive love natures fail to harmonize, is in law void and in morals vicious; that if the parties should act under this stipulation for the termination of the marriage contract, and thereafter enter into a similar contract and relationship with other parties, they would be guilty of bigamy, and that good morals and sound political ethics, as well as the statute law, require that they shall be held firmly to the marriage contract they have assumed, and to all the duties and responsibilities the law attaches thereto, and, therefore, the parties are not guilty as charged in the indictment. “Another new bonnet, eh?” said Lieutenant General Sheridan yesterday to Mrs. Sheridan. “Yes, Phillip,” said Mrs. Sheridan solemnly. “I hope I may be permitted to clothe myself in something a little better than the rags of a beggar.” “Certainly, certainly,” said the general. “I was merely about to remark that before marriage I had but a slight comprehension”—. “You are right Phillip,” interrupted Mrs. Sheridan ; “I may say you have no comprehension at all. Please assist me to disrobe myself of this shawl.” The general did as he was bid, remarking to himself meanwhile, “Right flank, left flank, front and rear, by Jove! Whenever you overtake this person you find she is about two minutes ahead of you.”— Rochester Democrat and Chronicle. “Where are you going, my love ?” in quired a Rhode Island wife of her hus band last evening. “I’ll be back in five minutes,” he replied. “The license law passed to-day, and I’m only going over to Connecticut for a few mo ments.”
