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SMALL THINCS. Xlr may be glorious to write Thoughts that shall glad the two or three High souls like thoso iar starts that come in sight Once in a century, 'But better iar it is to speak One slmplo word, which now and then Shall waken their free nature in the weak And friendless *onsof men. —Jnines Russell Lowell. BRANDON’S DAUGHTER. t *>. /© 0> *’ ve ,lever ykA I been ship l/llw I wrecked nor J been in a co- C-V, '' j W>\ I lision all the 'SjjJjW !'\ TANARUS& time I’ve been ') at sea—a mat- I II * el now over ft /v/ t° r ty years. who exercised a powerful influence over me; but whether for good or evil you shall hear presently. It was in the fall of ’72, just when on the eve of sailing, that an old gen tleman stepped on hoard, and hurried ly approached me. He was a tall, epare man, with iron gray hair, and had a slight stoop at the shoulders. “Good day, captain,” said he. “I only heard this morning that you were sailing for England, and hastened down to ascertain if you could find ac commodation for myself and daughter at so short notice.” “Certainly,” I replied, in my hearty way; “I shall only be too pleased to take yon. As it happens there are only three passengers hooked this trip, and they are second-class, so you can have the saloon pretty much to’your selves.” He thanked me effusively, and dis appeared into the saloon, I marveled at his precipitancy, and wondered where the daughter was to come from, for she was not visible anywhere. I gave instruction to the apprentices to have their luggage conveyed on board, and myself superintended the stowing away of their trunks in the two best appointed cabins of the ship. While so engaged, I heard a lightfoot fall behind me, and, turning around, I beheld the fairest vision of loveliness that ever brightened my saloon. “My daughter—Captain Harnott,” said Mr. Brandon, introducing us. I w as so taken aback by her exceed ing beauty that I awkwardly touched my cap, and, with the wind clean out of my sails, stammered: “Glad to see you, miss.” She placed her soft little white hand into my big, sun-browned paw, and, looking me squarely in the face out of her laughing blue eyes, said: “I’m sure we shall be good friends, captain, during the voyage.” She spoke with a charming colonial accent, and from that moment I w’as her most devoted, humble servant, slave, anything you like. I went head over ears in love with her at sight. You may smile, but recollect I was a comparatively young man then. Leaving them to arrange their cabins to their own satisfaction I ascended the companion steps and went on deck. It certainly occupied them a considerable time, for neither father nor daughter appeared on deck until the ship was well outside the "Heads” and the tug had returned to port. That voyage I look back upon as the happiest and saddest I ever made. Miss Brandon was a splendid sailor. In fair weather or foul she’d be on deck, delighting me with the admiration she expressed for my handsome three masted clipper, and the childlike naivete of her questions. I used to pace the quarter-deck in the morning, impatient for her first appearance. On the dullest or dirtiest day it was like a fay of sunshine suddenly bursting forth from a lowering sky, to see her emerge from the companion hatch, looking as fresh as a daisy and a thou sand times more lovely. Of course it was only natural that my mates should fall in love w r ith her also, but she treated them with marked indifference, if not absolute coldness. Her smiles were all reserved for me, and she lavished them upon me in no niggardly manner. There was a piano in the saloon, and often in the long evenings she would sing and play for my sole delec tation, while I would sft on the settee alongside and gaze rapturously into her pretty face. The song I liked best was “Tom Bowling,” and she infused such an amount of pathos into her ex pression that the tears would some times trickle down my weather-beaten cheeks as she sang. Ah! those were happy days; it was heaven while it lasted. I have scarcely mentioned her father yet. The fact is, I was so engrossed with his beautiful daughter that I didn’t pay so much attention to him as perhaps I ought. At the best he was a saturnine, unsociable sort of person, who seemed to prefer his own com pany to other people’s. When not in his own cabin, where he spent most of his time, he was walking with his bands clasped behind him, apparently in deep thought, in the waist of the ship. One evening, when qbout nine weeks out, I was sitting in the chart house alone with my idol. The sec ond mate was stepping the planks out side, old Jobson was at the wheel away behind us, and the watch on the deck were lounging about for ward. Some days previous to this I had had the temerity to confess my love to her, and asked her to be my wife. She had made me inexpressibly happy by promising, subject to my ob taining father’s consent. This, after some demur, he had granted, and that night the future appeared very bright for me. We'had been sitting silent for some time, too happy for words, gazing on the setting sun as it disappeared into a glowing mass of golden rimmed clouds on the horizon, when to my in linite amazement she suddenly burst into tears. “Darling, what is the matter?” I exclaimed in an agony of npprehen- ] siot). “Oh, Alfred, I have just heard such 6 dreadful story from my father, I shall never be happy again. We can sever be married now.” “Never he married?” I ejaculated aghast. “Why?” “Because my father is a—a criminal. Oh, I feel so miserable. I think I shall throw myself overboard!” “Alice, for heaven’s sake don’t talk like that, or you’ll drive me mad. What has he done?” “Something dreadful. Oh, don’t speak to me any more,” she sobbed violently. At that moment I was so mad that I felt half inclined to go down and tear the old scarecrow' out of his berth by the cuff of the neck and demand what he had done to cause my darling such poignant grief. But I didn’t. Instead I drew her to my side. “Tell me all about it,” I said sooth ingly- “Well, my father, as you are aware, was an agent in one of the banks in Arlington, Victoria, and it seems he embezzled large sums of money be longing to the bank to speculate with. Of course, he meant to replace it before the audit, when the deficit would have been discovered. But he lost it, and that is why he fled the country.” “Is that all?” said I, with a sigh of relief. “It’s bad enough, certainly, but I fail to see that in itself it forms a sufficient barrier to our union.” “But that is not the worst. My father is convinced that the police may have traced him to Melbourne and to this ship. He declares he will be ar rested on landing. ” “Nothing more likely,” I thought. But I remarked casually, “Has he any plan to suggest?” “Yes, oh, yes, if you will only assist him. But it seems too terrible to con template. He says it is his only chance to escape.” “What is it, then?” “That he should die and be buried at sea!” she responded, with a per ceptible shiver. “I don’t understand.” “He proposes to feign death. Then, after he has been sewed up for burial, we must find the means to liberate him aud substitute something else.” The daring audacity of the proposal fairly took my breath away. If dis covered, the consequences to me in aiding and abetting a felon to escape would be disastrous. I resolved to have nothing to do with such a crim inal proceeding, but a look of entreaty from those tearful eyes made me falter in my resolution. “For my sake,” she murmured, pleadingly, placing her fair, white hand on my arm. Her touch thrilled me. I hesitated no longer, hut gave an unwilling con sent. Ah, what folly will not a man commit when in love! Next day it was reported that Bran don was seriously indisposed. I took out the medicine chest as in duty bound, and ordered the cabin steward to attend him. Three days later Mr. Brandon was reported dead. When I was informed of this I en tered his cabin. He was lying in the under berth, pale and motionless as death. I felt the body; it was cold and rigid. If this w ere not death, he sim ulated it to perfection. I sent for the sailmaker, who sewed the body up in my presence. When the task was completed I dismissed him, and, se curing the cabing door inside with a sharp knife ripped open the stitches. My hand shook painfully. What if he were really dead? I confess to experiencing a singular feeling of relief when the man opened his eyes, and the resuscitated Bran don sat up. I administered some brandy, which helped to revive him. He quickly and noiselessly dressed himself. Then he produced from a trunk a dummy figure which he had previously prepared aud weighted, and inclosed it in the shroud. This he sewed up with his own hands. Not a word was spoken by either of us. When all was completed I stepped out to reconnoitre. Seeingthe coast clear, I signalled him, and he crept swiftly across the passage into his daughter’s cabin, where he concealed himself. In the first dog watch of the same afternoon, the bell commenced to toll its solemn knell for the funeral of An thony Brandon. Officers and men and passengers stood round me with heads uncovered as I read from the Book of Common Prayer the beautiful and im pressive burial service. God forgive me, it was an awful mockery, i don’t know' how I got through with it. Af terward I heard it commented that I was much affected during the service. Heaven knows I was, but ’twas with guilt aid fear. After the funeral Brandon returned to his own cabin, which was kept con stantly locked, and the key of which I retained in my own possession. With my connivance Alice smuggled food to him from day to day. About two weeks afterward, while proceeding up the channel under all sail, w'e were hailed by a tug. Antici; patiug danger, I slipped down the companionway, and conveyed Brandon to my own cabin for concealment. When I got on deck again, I was just in time to see a stout, well-groomed party clambering over the vessel’s side. Without any preliminaries he brusquely demanded: “Got a passenger by the name of Brandon on board.” “I had, stranger, I had.” He gazed at me inquiringly. “Come below, sir,” I said. As we descended, he explained that he was a detective in pursuit of Bran don, who had absconded from Australia with a considerable sum of money and valuable negotiable securities. When he had produced his warrant, I ordered the mate to fetch the log-book. Un der date the 15th of January, he read this entry: “Buried at sea in lat. 3-5 degrees 49 minutes N., longitude 33 degrees 16 minutes W., Anthony Brandon, cabin passenger. Cause of death unknown.” He muttered something under his breath which was quite unintelligible to me. Then he demanded to see Brandon’s effects. I led the way into his cabin. He ransacked every trunk and portmanteau, but not a vestige of paper or anything of value did he dis cover. The expression on his face when he left the ship some hours later was not particularly pleasant. When he arrived in the dock at London I smuggled Mr. Brandon ashore in one of his daughter’s trunks, after they had been searched by the customs’ officer. No one in the ship ever expected the truth. Their secret remained alone with me. It was arranged that Alioe and I should be married quietly before set ting out on my next voyage, and our honeymoon was to be spent on the bosom of the deep. When we parted that night she promised to communi cate with me when her father had se cured some quiet retreat in the coun try. She kept her promise. Here is the letter. I have preserved it all these years. It has neither super scription nor signature: “Dear old Captain—Many, many thanks for all your kindnesses. My husband and I—for Mr. Brandon is my husband, though it was not known in Arlington—will never forget them. Pray forgive the deceit we found it ex pedient to practice on you in order to carry out our plans. We are in fairly uflluent circumstances, for my husband did not lose the money in speculation, as I thought it necessary to toll you. Dear Captain, I know I can rely upon you, for your own sake, not to inform the authorities about my husband. As he died at sea, we expect to live se curely, unmolested by the bank of ficials or the police. Good-by for ever.” And that was the end of my ro mance. No, I never heard anythin 1 more about them. Whether they live I to enjoy their ill-gotten gains or whether they didn’t, I cannot tell. But this I do know, she "was the first woman that ever fooled me, and, by heaven, she was the last. I never gave another the chance. —Tit-Bits. Common Soap in House Moving. The lubricant generally used by house movers is common soap,. It contains the best kind of grease for the purpose. The wooden tracks are thoroughly rubbed with it, and, as it squeezes its way into the girders, rest ing on the tracks, and does not easily evaporate it makes a very slippery path. In moving frame houses a single horse is used to pull it along, not as he would pull a wagon exactly, but by means of a windlass. As has been pointed out, the girders which support the house are not even chained to gether; the weight of the building holds them sufficiently rigid. To one of them a pulley with several sheaves is attached. Another pulley is attached to the track fifty feet or more ahead of the house, and through these a rope extends to a windlass. The horse sim ply winds up the rope, and the house being on runners, become for a time a floating or wandering palace. One house was actually floated to a new destination. It originally rested opposite Holland’s station, Jamaica Bay, Long Island. It w'as raised from its foundations and floated a mile down the shore, and now rests on pil ing in front of Hammell’s station. One house mover in upper New York State attempted to move a house across a lake, but with disastrous results, The lake was frozen over, and the design was to take advantage of the ice,which was thought to be suflicently strong to bear the structure in course of transit. All went well until the middle of the lake was reached. Then night came on, and a rest was taken until morn ing. *1 (At daylight, however, the house was found to be resting at the bottom of the lake. The lake was not very deep, so that the greater part of the house was still above the surface. But a thaw took place during the day, and the house, careening to one side,began to float in earnest. It w'as afterwards floated to the destination at first de signed for it, but anew house might have been bijilt at less expense.—At lanta Constitution. A Hard-Worked Emperor. The Emperor of China is one of the hardest-worked men in the world, and, according to a curious custom that I have never heard explained, he turns day into night. Some of the most important events in his daily programme takes place after midnight, and he frequently receives visitors by appointment at three or four o’clock in the morning. When Li Hung Chang returned to Pekin from his tour around the world the Emperor received him and heard his reports between four and five a. m. He has often received ambassadors at similar hours. The Emperor’s work day begins at one p. m. He first sees the members of the Privy Council, then he devotes an hour or two to the consideration of their reports and recommendations, and then he receives the members of the official boards, Viceroys, Governors and other officials who have come to Pekin to be present or to pay tribute or receive instructions. He sits upon a throne upon a raised platform. They kneel before him with their foreheads touching the floor until he commands them to lift their eyes. They are kept in this posture so long that the old men always pad their knees with cushions. The Emperor dines about sunset and has the third meal of the day at midnight. Sometimes he re tires as early as one or two o’clock a. in., but he is often at work until day light.—Chicago Record. The Farmer’s Wife Acted as Surgeon. About six months ago gangrene de veloped in one of General Spotts’s feet. Mr. Spotts is a farmer about eighty years old, living at Rochester, Ind., and when his physicians in formed him of the nature of the dis ease he asked them to amputate the member. After consultation they re fused to do so, giving as a reason that in his enfeebled condition he could not endure the shock. Thinking it was the only hope of prolonging his life, after the doctors left his wife sharpened a common butcher knife on a grindstone and suc cessfully performed the work of ampu tation herself. First cutting through the flesh she then unjointed the foot at the ankle and removed it. The pa tient is reported improving.—New York Telegram. Inearthing Lost City. The Ivalaa of the Beni Hamad,which in the eleventh century was a town of 80,000 inhabitants, the capital of the Barbary States, Morocco, Algiers and Tunis, and had long completely disap peared, has been rediscovered by M. Blanchet, a French archceologist. Among the buildings brought to light are a mosque sixty-five by fifty-five metors in area, covered with green enamel and containing pink marble columns, a palace, a public fountain and tower, which even in its present condition is marly fifty feet high. These buildings date from 1007 and are the oldest Moslem monuments in Al geria. Killing gQtiaslt Insects. Dissolve one-fourth pound of salt peter in water. Make a small ditch about the hills of cucumbers, squashes or pumpkins while the vines are small and pour in this solution of saltpeter. It will keep off striped squash hugs and kill the squash or flatiron hug which eats the vines. Mnking Horses Eat Slowly." Many horses, especially if fed grain, eat it much too fast to get the most good from it. A good way to compel slow eating is to mix with the grain a few clean pebbles, that will oblige the horse to gather his food slowly. A still better way is to grind the grain and mix the meal with three times its bulk of cut liay, or twice its bulk of straw. Trimming Koses. When any plant iu the flower garden begins to produce seeds freely it usually inclines to stop flowering. Plants such as roses, which we desire to have flower as long as possible, should therefore not be permitted to fruit. All faded roses should be at once cut away. Even those which are known as everbloomers are benefited by this practice. Indeed, the reason that these roses have this lengthened period of flowering is that they show a natural indisposition to make growth, Roses flower only at the end of a young branch; when the faded fiow'ers are cut away the buds in the leaf axils push into growth, and it is from this second starting of young branches that the flowers come. —Meliau’s Monthly. Maintaining the Dairy. A writer in the Dakota Farmer gives this advice: 1. Select the best cows in your herd, or that yon can buy, to keep, aud dis pose of the others. 2. The best cow for the dairy is the one that produces the greatest amount of butter fat in a year (for food con sumed) when being rightly fed. 3. To renew or increase your herd raise the heifer calves from your best cows. 4. Test your cows by weighing the milk of each cow for a year and test ing it occasionally with the Babcock milk tester, and know how much but ter fat each one does produce. 5. Use the best dairy-bred sire you can get; one, if possible, that lias a line of ancestors that have been first class dairy'animals. 6. Keep a record of the time when the cows were bred and have no guess work about the time of calving. 7. It is neither profitable nor neces sary for a cow to go dry more than four to six weeks. 8. The udder should receive prompt attention. An-obstacle may removed from the teat the first hour that might baffle science later. 9. After separating the calf from its mother, feed the natural milk as soon as drawn for a week or ten days. A Homemade Clod Crusher. The clod crusher shown in the cut • is useful both for crushing lumpy soil and for rolling and smoothing the land at the same time. Three logs, as even USEFUL CLOD CKUSHEB. in size and as round aud true as possi ble, are fastened inside a framework by round spikes driven through the sidepieces into the logs so that the lat ter can turn freely. Where the large, carefully-made laud roller is not at hand, this quickly-made substitute will serve a very good purpose. It can be weighted if necessary.—Ameri can Agriculturist. Spontaneous Combustion of llay. Whether or not hay ignites spon taneously has never been determined. Usually the fire has originated where considerable quantities of clover hay have been stored. In nearly every case the stacks or buildings were en tirely consumed, so it was impossible to determine the origin of the file. At the Pennsylvania experiment station barns in 1895, fire was seen drop ping from the ceiling of the cow stable. Investigation proved that the fire was confined to a mow of hay 18x23 and about 23 feet high. The drafts were stopped and the top of the mow kept cov ered with wet blankets. Openings were made in the sides of the barn and all the hay, about 30 tons, was pitched out While removing this the entire centre of the mow was smoldering and ready to burst into flames when ex posed to the air. Fortunately a hy drant was near at hand and the top w'as kept constantly saturated and the barn thus saved. All the centre of the mow was thoroughly packed, hot and smoking. The high temperature of the hay made it decidedly uncom fortable for those who were removing the smoldering fodder. The holes burned through the mow floor were over near the middle of the stable and not near the walls. It is evident that the fire could not have been either accidental or iucendiary. The hay was second growth clover and timothy, mostly clover, and when har vested was thought to be in unusually fine condition. The fact that it was very compact gave color to the theory that the combustion was spontaneous. Examinations of the hay, after being thrown out of the barn, showed that a large proportion of it was so thor oughly charred that it would crumble when handled. Some of it had not been subjected to so great a heat and was only brown in color, but was wholly uufit for stock. For several days previous to the fire, a peculiar odor had been noticed about the barn, and examination seemed to indicate that the rowen was heating, but there was no indication of fire. This odor soon became so strong that it was compared by some to that of burning grain. While posi tive proof as to the origin of this fire may be lacking, the circumstances are such that it is safe to consider it spon taneous.—Orange .Tudd Farmer. To Control Chicken-Eating Hogs. A chicken catcher in a herd of hogs is a most exasperating and expensive. One such will soon transform a whole herd into ravenous chicken eaters. BLIND FOB HOGS. Being troubled in this way I tried the following: A leather blind wide enough to cover both eyes and long enough to come down well over the face was cut from an old boot leg. The chicken thief was then caught, aud pulling the ears forward, the top corners of the blind were fastened to them by means of pinchers and rings, such‘as are put in the snouts of pigs to prevent rooting. This blind will not prevent the hog from seeing his legitimate food, but does prevent him seeing chickens unless they are under his very nose, and then, if he attempts pursuit, the chances are that he brings his nose iu violent contact W’ith the fence or some other obstruction. A few such lessons and he concludes that he is no longer partial to chicken. A month of “leather specs”’cured our most ravenous thief, and by blinding only the ring leaders the w'hole herd was soon as docile as well behaved porkers should be.—New England Homestead. Poultry Notes. Hens that do not have water regular ly' will suffer and not produce well. If a hen nets you a dollar a year, that is enough to expect as a steady thing. It is a mistake to suppose the incu bator is an automatic machine that will run itself. It is not best to have too many nests. A dozen hens can get along well w ith four or five. When you do not want them to breed do not let the hens and roosters run together. The laying of unusually large eggs is a proof that the hens are in an over fat condition. Feed the cockerels for flesh, bone aud muscle. Feed the pullets for your next winter’s layers. The nest egg, if not china, should be marked so that it will not get into a lot sent to market. The Plymouth Bock attains maturity earlier than the Wyandotte, but the latter is a more persistent layer. It must be a poor soil indeed in which the scratching biddies will not find some reward for their labor. Those who think thirteen an un lucky number can get the hens to spread over fifteen eggs for a sitting. If the hens are slow to wean the chicks take them away, as they crowd the young ones at night when confined in a box. As soon as the cockerels begin to crow separate them from the pullets. They will thrive better, and besides, they require different feed. If the young chicks are confined in barren yards give them plenty of cab bage, lettuce or grass from the lawn. They will relish it for a change. Don’t let the chicks roost with the old fowls until at least three months old. Their breastbones are tender and will become crooked if permitted to sit on the roost. If young broods are cooped for the first month it gives the chick two chances to reach maturity where it would have but one if running about while young and tender. Sunshine is the best medicine for poultry as well as men. If the house is dark and gloomy, the fowls will stay out of it even in the worst weather. Nothing likes sunshine more than poultry. Cholera among chickens is a disease which is a result of the poor conditions which surround them. With good food, fresh, pure water, daily clean quarters and a good range, it seldom gets a foothold. Lice sap the blood from the chi ckens, and cause restlessness of nights; and on mornings fowls come from the roosts feverish and thirsty. They drink too much, and sit around and soon get indigeston. They take cold easily when their systems are so im paired, and the cold, if let alone, runs into roup. Writ in" on Glass. The easiest way to write or paint on glass, says the Philadelphia Record, is to take a solution of fish glue and dis tribute it with a soft brush over the surface of the glass. Of course the solution must be carefully filtered, and when it is applied to the glass pane the glass must be held over a stove or lamp in a slanting direction to allow the sur plus solution to flow off and to dry thoroughly without streaking. When the pane has been prepared in this way it is ready to write or paint upon. Even writing of microscopic minute ness can he applied to the prepared glass surface without the danger of the ink running. On this surface water colors, India ink and any kind of pig ment may be employed. WORDS OF WISDOM. Who sings in grief procures relief. He loves thee well who makes thee W'eep. That which is lightly gained is little valued. > A woman that marries for a homo pays big rent. Some of our happiest moments are spent in air castles. You eau very often count your friends by your dollars. Only those cau sing in the dark who have a light in the heart. A man’s idea of a perfect woman is one who thinks he is perfect. There is no jewel in the world so valuable as a chaste and virtuous woman. Even in traveling in a thorny path it may not be necessary to step on all the thorns. He who seeks after what is impossi ble, ought in justice to be denied what is possible. Marrying a man to reform him is equal to putting your fingers into a fire to put it out. When tw’o souls have but a single thought, they should stop spooning and get married. A man’s cynicism is bounded on the north by his vanity and on the south by his digestion. When you say “I don’t care,” try to see that your tone of voice doesn’t in dicate that you do. It is always a mystery to a W'oman why her husband doesn’t seem to pity old bachelors more. Life is like a nutmeg grater. You have to rub up against the rough side of it to accomplish anything. Every woman has an idea that she can judge a man by looking straight in his eyes—hut can she?—The South- West. Perils of Orcliid Hunting;. English florists and flower lovers are in a great state of mind over an orchid recently exhibited by Sander, the St. Albans grower. Its scientific name is the Cattleya Reineckiana, which to the initiative mind, says the New York Times, is not very promising, but the flower itself is described as a vision of beauty and delight. The wings of its seagull-like blossom are white as snow, while the body portion is of gold and vermilion, eight inches across. It is the largest and most beautiful Cattleya ever known to the civilized world, and it would take 1000 guineas to buy it. Arnold, the famous orchid collector, sent it to England just before he lost his life while hunting for further sim ilar treasures. Arnold was the man who, while traveling in Venezuela, made the acquaintance of a young fellow who appeared to be roving for pleasure. Arnold traveled with him for some distance, but a few chance words in a wayside inn made Arnold aware that the supposed pleasure seek er w r as really another orchid collector bent on the same errand as himself, aud using every means to supplant him. At once Arnold drew his revolver, and there and then gave his acquaintance the option of either fighting a duel with him or retiring from the field. The latter course was chosen. Ar nold’s death soon afterward, under cir cumstances which have never yet been cleared up, is by no means a solitary example of the perils of orchid hunt ing, and though iu the more civilized districts the work is comparatively easy, there are still countries in which an orchid seeker may be said to carry his life in his hands. The Age of Trees. It is a widespread idea that the rings of the section of a tree give data as to its age, the concentric rings be ing of the same number as the years that have passed. It is known, how ever, that the data thus furnished are only approximately exact. Can any other information be obtained from them? An English botanist has re cently caused some surprise by calling attention to a peculiarity of a tree of which a section exists in the British Museum. This section is that of a Douglas fir which was felled in 1885, and was more than five hundred years old. An examination of the specimen shows that a part of the annual rings, corresponding to the end of the first century of the tree’s existence, pre sents an abnormal appearance. Twenty of these rings are very close together and form a zone of special aspect, and widely separated from the external and internal zones. It is evident that these layers have formed during twenty years under defective condi tions, or at least abnormal ones. What are these conditions? The gentleman above mentioned is inclined to seek them in numerous cataclysms—earth quakes, inundations, droughts, etc., with pernicious vapors coming from thousands of abysses, and such as pre ceded the great epidemic known in the fourteenth century as the black plague, which was attributed to such cata clysms. Remarkable Glacier Eruption. A remarkable glacier eruption oc curred during the early part of the present year in the south of Iceland. A postman was crossing the sands of Sakeitara when he heard sounds pro ceeding from a glacier two miles in front of him and saw large masses of ices being hurled up into the air from the glacier. This was followed by a flood, which began descending to the sands below'. He promptly fled, aud when he returned, about a week later, he saw' a belt of ice waves extending from the glacier to the sea, a distance of at least twenty-five miles. The average breadth of this belt was about four miles. The height varied from seventy to ninety feet. On the other side of the ice field were newly formed torrents which sprang from the glaciers. No one u r as injured by the glacier eruption, which, it is thought, may have some connection with the severe earthquakes of last summer. President's Mansion Not Whitewashed. Colonel T. A. Bingham, Superinten dent of Public Buildings and Grounds at Washington, in answer to an Agri culturist subscriber’s inquiry as to how the whitewash was made that was used on the White House years ago, says that not within the recollection of the office has the exterior of the Execu tive Mansion been whitewashed. White lead and linseed oil is used when painting the mansion,—Ameri can Agriculturist. OUR BUDGET OF HUMOR. LAUCHTER-PROVOKINC STORIES FOR LOVERS OF FUN. The Difference—The Deed of Deeds—Notle ing Better—The Reason—Distinction— Bren kin# It to Him—Can’t He I)on®- She Stooped to Conquer, Etc., Etc* The Senior finds a most surprising change. When fort!* world ho leaves his college hall. I In college ho had always too much work, Hut now he sees he can’t find work at all* —Yale Record. Nothin# Better. “Tell me, doctor, wliat do you con sider an ideal case?” “A healthy man with an incurable disease.” Break in# It to Him. Husband—“Do you need anything for the house?” Wife—“ The cook says there is not enough china to last the week out.”— —Life. The Reason. “I’m w'riting to Belle.” “Because you have something spe cial to say?” “No; because I have nothing spe cial to do. ” —Puck. Distinction. “I wish to see some collars.” Yes, ma’am. Ah—ladies’ or gen tlemen’s?” “Gentlemen’s, sir. For ladies’ use.”—Chicago Tribune. Sauce For Geese and Ganders. "Won’t it be delightful when we all have flying machines!” “I don’t know' about that; of course our creditors will have them, too.”— Chicago Record. He Stooped to Conquer. Mrs. Fussanfeatlier—“l understand, that Mr. Tallman kissed you on the stoop last night.” Miss Fussanfeatlier—“Why, yes, mamma; he’s so tall, he had to.”- Yonkers Statesman. Can’t Ise Done. Archie—“l alw'ays think evening dress must be so trying to a lady of humor.” Bertie—“ Why?” Archie—“ Because she can’t laugh in her sleeve.”—Pick-Me-Up. More Carelessness. Excited Wife—“Oh, Professor, the cook has fallen and broken her collar bone!” Professor—“ Discharge her at once! You told her what to expect if she broke anything more.”—Detroit Free Press. Lost in the Shuffle. “How are your geological studies progressing, Miss Climely?’ “Very nicely, indeed. I found a lovely piece of rock quartz to-day up on the hill back of the hotel. But, unfortunately, I laid it upon my soap dish when I went up to dress, and now I can’t tell which is the soap.”—Life. A Learned Opinion, Son —“Pa, what is a whisky straight?” Father (w'ho knows whereof) —“fic —well, my boy, a large swelled head; an errouous impression of great and sudden wealth; a disposition to fight,a man twice your size; an aptness for making the world appear lop-sidsd and to be revolving rapidly; any ono of them may be properly called a whisky’s trait.—Harlem Life. Got Her Money’s Worth. Some time ago our local operator took a telegram which read: “Miss Maude, will you be mine?” It was delivered to the proper party, and soon she came tripping into the office to wire her reply. It read: “Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.” Ten words, you see, and she paid her quarter, and then tripped out of the room with the sweetest kind of a. blush.—Evansville Courier. His Identification. “Coming home from the American Mothers’ meeting I saw such a lovely child playing in the street in front of our house. Such a dear little boy! I quite wanted to kiss him. I wonder whose child he is.” “Did he have yellow hair?” asked her husband. “Yes.” “Aud blue eyes?” “Beautiful blue eyes.” “And an old shirt waist?” “Oh, a horrid shirtwaist!” “Then I know whose child he is.” “Well?” “He’sours.”—Boston Budget. Ilut He Wasn't. One rainy day the late Stubby Childs was ou his way to the corner at which he and his friend always met, w'hen he encountered a young student whose face he recognized dimly, hav ing seen it every day for some weeks in his morning class. “Have you seen my friend?” he asked. “Yes sir,” replied the student, pausing respectfully in the midst of a. mud-puddle to remove his cap; “he is at the corner wmitingfor you.” “Good,” replied the professor, looking over his spectacles. “I thank you; you may be seated!”—Harvard Lampoon. Revolving Observation Tuwer. A revolving observation tower has been erected at Great Yarmouth, Eng land, in honor of the Queen’s Jubilee. The design comprises a strong hexa gonal steel tower 150 feet high by four teen feet in diameter, surrounde l by a circular structure or elevator. This elevator is raised and lowered by four strong cables, each of which is capable of performing the work alone. On this elevator is a circular platform fitted with rollers. While the eleva tor ascends and descends the tower the platform revolves around it, thus af fording an uninterrupted and unsur passed view of the surrounding coun try. Slave Mart in Finland. A regular slave mart still exists in many country districts of Finland. Once a year such paupers, lunatics aud aged people of each parish as can not support themselves are put up at public auction and consigned to those families or farmers who will board them at the lowest price offered by the parish authorities.