Newspaper Page Text
RATHER HEAVY JOKING.
A Story Told of Grover Cleveland and a
T, j Chisago Democrat.
Front the Kansas City Times.
President Cleveland was fond of a
joke, so much so that lie found him
self compelled from time to time to
repress his disposition in this regard.
One of the best incidents in this lino
occurred when Congressman Lawler
brought forward for introduction,
simply to pay respects, one of his
constituents, an old character from
Chicago, ex Alderman Pat Sands, who
had accumulated a large fortune in
the plumbing line anil loaning money
at Shylock rates of interest. Th
ex-alderman loved his hoard like a
miser, and, appreciating tiie situation,
Mr. Lawler called the President aside,
saying: “I want you to have a little
fun with my friend here. lie is a
democrat and a very wealthy man, but
holds on to it strongly. Just asked him
to loan you 8100,00^), and observe the
consequences.” Mr. Cleveland at
once “caught on,” and when Mr.
Lawler presented Mr. Sands in glow
ing rhetoric as one of the most enter
prising nnd patriotic adopted sons of
Chicago, the President grasped his
hand warmly. After the usual com
pliments had passed the President
drew the cx iddernmn aside and said:
“Alderman, I am delighted to meet
you, nnd I want you to do me a great
favor!''
“A favor, is it?” innocently replied
Mr. Sands. “I’ll be greatly honored,
Mr. President,- if you’ll only name it,
nnd Pat Sands is your man.”
“Well,” continued the President, iu
the most confidential manner, “I
can’t tell my private business to
everybody, but as you arc a good
democrat, and a friend of ny friend
Congressman Lawler, I don’t mind
speaking freely to you. You see I
got married a few moths ago, and the
expenses were very heavy. I must, of
course, keep up appearance, being the
first democratic President elected in a
quarter of a century, and the fact is
I’m hard up just at present. My sal
ary is only 850,000 a year, and it’s all
spent. Now, I want you to loan • me
8100,000, say for a couple of years, at
7 per cent., and help me out ot my
trouble. You can spare me that small
amount without missing it.”
Totally unprepared for any such
demand, Pat Sands’ jaws dropped
asunder and his eyes bulged out to
the site of a Bermuda onion. lie es
sayed to speak, but iu vain. He
looked first one side and then the
other, and the scene became so ludic
rous that both the President and
Congressman Lawler could hardly
contain themselves. The effect was
just what Lawler bail expecled, for
the cx-alderraan was greatly shocked;
the veins of his forehead preluded,
and he seemed on the verge of an ap
oplectic stroke at being asked to give
up 8100,000 even to the President.
Unable to longer stand the pressure,
the ex-alderman rushed forward, nnd,
seizing Mr. Lawler by the coat-tails,
he dragged him toward the door, cry
ing:
“Lawler, let’s get out of this! Croat
God, man! Did you ever hear the
like of that? A hundred thousand
dollars! Why, it would just ruin me
forever f*
Mr. Lawler nllowed himself to be
dragged away, while President Cleve
land, although keenly enjoying the
joke, was evidently alarmed at the
terrible effect it had produced. The
ex-alderman never stopped to take
breath until he was out of the white
house grounds and safe on Pennsyl
vania avenue. Hurrying to Wil
lard’s hotel lie hastily packed his
gripsacks, paid his bill, nnd made for
the railroad depot, notwithstanding
the protestations of Mr. Lawler who
endeavored vainly to explain that the
whole affair was a joke. Mr. Sands
was not to be appeased nor mollified,
replying:
“I’m off for Chicago by the first
train, and don’t you forget it. Aud
Ill not come to Washington again to
pay my respects to all the democratic
presidents that ever lived. Why did
you tell the-President that I was rich
and an influential citizen? I’d give 85
in cash if you had ouly told him 1
mean* a watchman’s place in the
Chisago custom house at 850 a
month 1”
The Czar of all the Kussias will
visit the Emperor of Germany at Her-
lin next month. In the meantime, the
German and Russian armies arc eye-
|w Turh other across the frontier.
An unhealthy woman fa rarely, if* ever,
beautiful. The peculiar diseases to which bo
many of the Bex me subject, are prolific
causes of pale sallow fa ecu. blotched with un
sightly pimples, dull, lustreless eyes and cma-
dated forms. Women so alllictcd, can bo per
manently cured by using Dr. Pieree’s Favorito
Prescription; nnd with tho restoration of
health comes that henuty which, combined
with good qualities of head and heart, makes
women angels of loveliness.
“ Favorite Prescription "
Is the only medicine for
women,sold by druggists,
under a positive
guarantee from the
manufacturers, that it will give satisfaction
in every case, or money will bo refunded. It
is a positive sprrific. for all those painful disor
ders. Irregularities and weaknesses with width
co many women are alllictcd.
Copyright, IMS, t»y WORLD'S DI3. MSD. ASS'lf.
| WARRANTED.
DR. PIERCE’S PELLETS
Purely Vegetable l
Perfectly Harmless I
UNEQUALED AS A LIVER PILL.
Smallest, Cheapest, 1'mdcnt to Cake.
One tiny. Sugar-coated Pellet, a dose. Cures
Sick Headache, Hiiious Headache, Constipa
tion, Indigestion, Dillons Attacks, and all de
rangements of the Stomach and Bowels.
25 cents a vial, by druggists.
Florida Central
—AND —
Peninsula Railroad.
I'oritiril) flic F. IS. A- C«.
Standard Time Used—June 2,1889.
LTlir.UN PIVIS
500 p loo:
700 P 11 4
0:10 p 1127 n by
8 .TO l> 12 42 1> I.v
•»2>1. 127 pAr
•J55p 142 p Ar
10 TO p 2 27 j. Al
ii 20 a T 02 p Ar
110ft 120p.\r
T 50 a 542 p Ar
5 10h f.lOp Ar
GOO a 0 40-p Ar
U 42 11 8 22 P Ar
bv Fernandina Ar
I.v Jacksonville Ar
bv Callahan Ar
Baldwin Ar
La
Starke
Waldo
Hawthorn
Ocala
Wild woo*
Leesburg
Tavares
Orlando
Ar 11 28 n
Ar .10 52 r
Ar 10 201
T1 |
PA DIVli
Lv Jacksonville Ar
Lv Wildwood Ar
_ Ar PauasolTkeo Ar
Ar Huintcrvlllo Ar
, ArSt. Catherine A r
_ Ar Lacoooheo Ar
. J -r Dado City Ar
Ar Plant City bv
1 in p
i;il45p
, 4 00 p
~2T 1 KKY DIV. \ 14 \ 24
7 00 p 1145 a Lv Jacksonville Ar 150p GlOa
fi 00 a, 4 10 p I.v Waldo A r 10.T5 p T 40 p
5 10 a! 4 5T p Ar Gainesville Ar, 0 40 n 2T0p
10 45 i 5 42 p Ar Archer Lv 8 25 a 1215 p
0 12 p Ar Bronson Ar 7 48 a
......... 18 | Ar Cedar Hey I.v I 5 TO nU.
villeAr; 020 p
i 15 p
ip 1 4G p
j> 10 27 a Ar I.ive Oik Ar
all28alAr Madison Ar
a 12 52 p| A r Montleello Lv
a! 2 02 p; Ar Tallahassee Lv
a TOTp Ar Quincy Lv
a 4 00 p A r lUvcr June. Lv
7 o-j r
1,2, 7, h, n, 10, IT, II Daily.
02, and GT Dally.
;», 4, 2T. 24, Dally, except Sunday.
TO Dally except .Sunday, T1 Daily
Monday.
GO I G I -I AC
eil
1005 p-GOO a Ar Fernundlna I.v . 15 a-4 TO
« 5 and G dally, except Sunday. Gland G1
tndays only.
7 :15 a. m. f New Orleans Express. .Shortest
and quickest lino to all Middle ami West
Florida points, Pensacola, Mobile and New
Orleans. 7:15 a. in. an I 7 :T0 p. in. trainBcoii-
nect ^trough t-» Thomasvllle, Montgomery,
Nushvllld, St. Louis. Cincinnati. Chicago, and
all points North and West. Arrive at 2:45 p.
in. and T .45 p. in.
11:45 p. 111. Mall and Express for all points
South, Oalnchville, Ocala, Leesburg, Tuyeres,
Apopka, Orlando, PanasoiTkee (St. Cutkarine)
Dade City, Plant City. Arrives at 1:301>. m,
7 :00 p. in. Local, connects through for all
points South, Ocala, Gainesville, J.*rshurg,
Tavares, Orlando, Turp in Hprlngs. Souther
land, St. Petersburg, ami Tampa. Arrives at
G:1U a. m,
*. 11:45 a. in. Cumberland Route Express, con
nects at iVrnandlnu with steamer City of
Brunswick, dally, for Brunswick, Macon, At-
lanta, Chattanooga, Louisville, Cincinnati
Ht. J.oula uad Chicago. Arrives 1:50 p. ni.
4-.yop. m. Fcruundlna Mall uml Express,
dally, connecting Tuesday ami Friday with
Sir. St. Nicholas for Savannah uml way land
ings. Thursday with Mallory Steamers fo
Now York. Arrives 8:50a. m. Sunday trull
loaves Jacksonville 8:45 a. in.
This new service gives perfect connection
at Baldwin for all points North and West, Via
Callahan to all points North, East and West.
Via Fern and In a, connecting with Sir. City of
Brunswick, for Brunswick, Macon, Atlanta
and all points North and West.
D. E. MAXWELL, A.O MAcDONELL,
Gen. Manager. G. P. k T. A.
J. W REID. Agent at Tliomasvlllo, Ga.
D R CGYLE’t
- —- /\V \ / OEHTIIHH
1 Mouth Was
\A\\ ./MJIetns aud Prtiwsrves thf Teeth
\J y/ TII15 0I)0NTIC.\ co-
FRES1I MEATS.
Wo will open, Monday, April 1st, at the
place lately occupied by Mr. 1*. II. Bone
a fine stock of fresh meats. Beef, Mutton and
Pork.
Our meats arc from our own farm?, fat,
uicy and sweet. We will be glad to receive
our patronage and will serve you with the
1 est meats at the lowest possible prices,
y F. P. Hour k Buo
ELDER HOUSE,
Indian Spring, Ga.
W. A. ELDER- Proprietor.
SEASON OF 1889.
For rates, analysis ol water and Infor
mation, address
C IS tt E. A. Elder Manger.
I M P () R T A N T
PEAR GROWERS & SHIPPERS.
Cmisoliihile }(HirSlii|tnwnls In Houses
who have Standing anil Ability.
After rnrol.il itivc.-tijjutimi I have cisnert
.-.I invself with lie- folh.n in-reliable house*
W. I!. Suv.h r. John S!.ml and Win. C will)!,
A- Xe'iv Vert, lie.Iliehl A Sell. I’hiladel-
|ihia, llniii. ll, Kami A Ileslen.
The above houses mil act in concert and
indenyor to hold the markets up. I will
main in New Ymk during llie shipping
onal attention to th
• tlailv quotations from each
the markets, ami wire to Ho- Times-Knter
se for publication. When your shipment
1 mm tie red it tends to break down the mar
Kespect lull v,
Jos. S. No it to.v,
Olliee J215 Washington St.,
-'.'•If Now York
llriir-'e Oliiil, Ambrose (llitil, J. I’. Cuivper.
Olivit Brothers,
Commission Merchants,
Melons and Pears Specialties.
:»•>.) Washington St.,
NEW YORK.
Reference: North River Bark.
Hunt& Voorhees,
179 READE ST., N. Y.,
Poimuissioii Dealers
Southern Fruit and Produee.
Particular attention paid to the
sale of peaches, pears amt melons.
Sales reported daily and returns
promptly made.
Dennett & Hall,
ton III.SMI ON .71K HC HANTS,!
Fruits and Produce.
Melons and -:- Pears
ri I TXT AI .TIES.
No. 1 (11 W KHT ST 14 LET,
MSW VIIIEK.
Jan.b T. Brnnrll.
Joseph W. Thora.
BENNETT & THORN,
PRODUCE'
Commission Merchants,
No. 302 North Front St.,
Philadelphia, - Pa.
ti-14-2m
William Halley & Co.,
l’lK )DTT( !N
COMMISSION.- MERCHANTS.
Melons a Specialty.'
U)7 WEST STREET,
NHW YOIIK.
Reference: New York (’minty National
Bank. * d&w2m
WALTER S. HILL,
Produce Cemmiuien.Merchani,
—l ot: tiii: s.\ i.f. of—
Southern Fruits
5 VEGETABLES,
LeContc Pears and Melons a Specially.
HOG IH AMi HT,. NKIY YOKE.
Reference?: Irving National Bank, N. Y.;
Fruit (Jrowers’ National Bunk, Smyrna, Del.
Represented in Thomasville by A. Brown.
WANTED,
500 Gars Watermelons,
.5000 Baskets of Early Fruits,
Forjwliicli I will pay highest market-price
iu cash, or sell on commission, and I will
pay a reward of $2."> to the person shipping
me the car of the largest melons thisjseason.
This reward is over nnd above the market
price of said car when received.
a! i\ rickets
# Wholesale Fruit and Prodnre Dealer,
Chattanooga, Tcnn.
Reference: People's Bank and other banks
here; also R. (1. Dun k Co., and the wholesale
merchants of this city generally.
KNTAGLINUKD
IS. IS. WOODWARD,
GENERAL
Commission Merchant,
Melons and Fears Specialties.
174 CHAMBERS ST..
NEW YORK.
■C-2C UfcW 2m
•JOSEPH PIKE’S SON,
Commission Merchant
—.luil Dealer Iu —
Foreign and Domestic Fruits,
Florida & Georgia Fruits & Vegetables
A SPECIALTY.
ON IM IIK Ff.ACK, NEW YORK.
Melons and LeConte Pears Solicited,
Represented in Thonixsvilic by A. C
Brown and John W. Mitchell
By shipping year
Green and Dried Fruits, Melons
VEGETABLES,
Or anything you may have, to us.J We have
a very large trade in the above articles, nnd
can place your shipments tons good advant-
ag < as any house on l he market. We invite
correspondence from nil parties having any
thing in our line to ship.
SUMMERS, MORRISON k CO.,
Commission Memhauts,
174 South Water Street,
Chicago, Illinois.
Reference: Metropolitan Nat. Bank, diw
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
\Y. C. SNODGRASS.
B. F. HAWKINS
jgNODGUASS & HAWKINS,
Attorneys-at-Law.
Omeo. Formerly occupied by Enterprit*o£bf-
IJl M. McINOTSH,
Physician A Surgeon,
Thomasvlllo, Goorffia.
r^~OFFICE over .Stark’s,!corner Broad and
Fletcher Streets. .
J)R. JOEL, B. COYX-E.
DENTIST
THOMASVILLE, GEORGIA.
OFFICE, Broad St.. overlPickett’s.!
g McLendon,
Attorney-at-Liiw,
Thoiuasvllle, - - - Georgia.
Prompt attention given to all business c
rusted to him.
Otlice—Over W
Jackson streets.
J 11. COYLE, D. D. S.,
Resident Dentist,
Thorn at* villo, • • • Oeorgla.
Offers Ills services to tn citizens of Tlmnv
asvlllo and vicinity.
Office hours—From U a. in. to 1 p. in., and
from2 to 0 p.ra.
Office—On Jackson street.
W. I). MITCHELL, It. C.. # MITCHELL.
'ITCHELL & MITCHELL,
w
Attorneys-at-Law,
Thonmsvllle, • • Oeoigia,
W. liitUCE, M. 1).
Office, up-stairs.
T.
S. DEKLE, M. I).,
Office in Hayes Building.
Residence—Cornor College Avenuo and Mag
N. S. Eagres,
CONTRACTOR and BUILDER
Tliomasvlllo, Goorgio,
lie and prlvato, In either brick or wood!
I will guarantee In every Instance to
giro satisfaction. Designs aud plans drawn
and careful estimates made.
My Motto—Good, honest work at fair
prices. If you want any building done call
on nie. I will submit estimates whothor
contract Is awarded me or not. I refer to
the many public buildings erected by mo in
Thomasvllle and elsewhere, and all parties
for whom I have worked' _
BY FAB THF
ROUTE!
—TO—
NEW YORLOR BOSTON
-IS VIA—
SAVANNAH
—AXl) THE—
OCEANSTEAMSHIP:-: LINE
—Of TIIE—
Central Railroad of Georgia.
SUMMER EXCURSION TICKETS
Now on sale nt reduced rates. Good to
return until October :ilst, 1889.
Magnificent Steamers nnd elegant scr-
vice. Free front tiie heat and dust incident
to ail-rail routes. If jou arc sick the trip
will invigorate and build you up. (Jo east
by sen and you'll never regret it,
' l’assengcrs, before(■prehasing tickets via
oilier routes, would ao well to inquire first
of the merits of the Route via Savannah.
Further information may lie had by apply
ing to the Agent nt your station, or to
M. S. HFJ.KXA1V W. F. SIIKLLUAX,
(ienornl Mnnager. Traffic Manager,
K. T. CHARLTON'. CLYDE BOSTICK,
G«n. Pass. Agent. Trav. Pass, Agt.,
Savannah, CJn.
THEBEST
AND MOST
Direct Route!
FROM ALL PRINCIPAL POINTS IN
TIIEfSOUTH TO CHICAGO AND
THE NORTHWEST.
wo iti rough trains dally, with Pull
man Palace BtiflhtBleeping Cars by night,
and Chair Cars by day, between CIn*
clmmttl and Chicago, Indianapo
lis and Chicago, and also be
tween Louisville and
Chicago,
whore close con.
nectlons aro mado for
st. Paul, Fargo, Blsmark, Pol-
land, Omaha, Kansas City, San Francisco
nnd points Intermediate—
New Fast Mail,
Leaving Louisville, Dally except Sunday, nt
7 -JO a. m. ClnclnnAttl, Daily, except Sunday
at 7:4S. Arriving at Chicago at G :G5.
Tho most rapid sorvlco ever attempted be
tween tho Great Commercial Cities on tho
Ohio River and Chicago.
Vg-1 hrough Coupon Tickets, Baggage check-1
cd to destination, and your safety and com
fort provided for, are among tho points that
hayo mado tho
moitfoiff ROUTS
Universally nnd dosefvodly popular.
OHN B. CARSON. Ylce-pros’t and Gen’l Mgr
W. II. McDOEL, Gon’l Traffic Manager,
E. O. MCCORMICK, Oen.l Passongor Agent
r. w. GLADING. Passongor and Freight Agt.,
158 Broad St.. Thomasvllle Ga.
TO SELL
—ON-
Whiddon House
(Opposlto Plney Woods Hotel.)
THOMASVILLE, - GA
E. B. Whiddon, Prop.
This house, Iocatcd.In tho most desir
able and central part of tho city, is now
and complete in every particular. Fur
nished in the most elegant manner and
provided witli all conveniences of mod
ern hotels. Tho menu is porfcct, nnd
tho sorvico rendered by trained andlpo-
llto servants. Terms reasonable, and
prices graded according to accommoda
tions furnished. Carriages from the
house meet all trains.
declO-ly
Fife & Beverly
MEIGS, —
--DEALERS IN-
General Mercliandi?^
AND ALL KINDS OK
Builders’ Supplies,
Lumber, etc.
•o prepared to furnish anythl
o LrMDKU LINK, We niako a i
Mouldings, Turned Scroll Work.
Tho mostclchornto designs will bo faithful
ly nnd correctly executed. Wo operate tho
boat equipped mills, nnd carry tho largest
stock of so isoned lumber In Southern Gear
gin. Parti >s wanting lumberwlllsave money
by consulting us before placing their ordors.
FIFE k BEVERLY
IMlen & Levicl,
Contractors^ Builders
THOMASVILLE, GA.
We will be glad to make contracts for, of
superintend, all classes of buildings, public
or prlvato, In either brick or wood. Will fur
nish plans nnd speclflcntlons If requlrod. It
you vrnut any building done call on us, and
wo will submit estimates whothor contract Is
awarded us or not. Wo will guaranty satis
faction In all our work. Wo refer to tho many
buildings erected by us In Thomasvllle, and
to all parties for whom wo have workod.
Hhop on Fletcher st., 2nd door from Broad.
Thomasvllle, Ga., April 3,1889.
£. D. FUDGE,
THOMASVILLE, GA.,
—sealer in
HARDWARE
Stoves, Iron,
Tin and Hollow Ware,
of all kinds, and agent for
King’s Powder Co.
The Elmwood,
Marietta, Ga.
This new and beautiful hotel, elegantly
furnished,
ELECTRIC BELLS, GAS,
First class in nil of its appointments, has
heen leased by M. G. Whitlock, former own
er and proprietor of the late •
“WHITLOCK HOUSE.”
His table nnd service will satisfy the molt
fastidious. His beds arc delightful. Terms
ieasonnble. Address,
M. Q.JWIHTLOCK,
Marietta, Go.
The Old Bill Bryant
place on Jackson St.,
in Fletcherville.
URGE LOT,
Healthy Location.
Good neighbors, and
convenient to South
Georgia College and
Depot.
Terms so easy that
anybody having the
will, can have a good
home. Apply imme
diately to
l-M. Mallei,
REAL ESTATE BROKER,
Thomasville. G4oor*-ia