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SOUTHERN ENTERPRISE,
LUCIUS C- BRYAN, Editor & Proprietor.
VOL. V.
®[}c Sontluru Enterprise
• -+♦ ♦ * .-r*
Thomasville, Georgia.
WKONKMDAV) iKPr. 40. IN6I.
SUBSCRIPTION TERMS.
/ . —o ;■
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strictly IN AOVANCR.
■ •<- o-
ADVERTISING TERMS.
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count of twKNTT-rivE per cent will be made
for advertisements inserted for three
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cent for twelve months or more. All ad-
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lo-s renewed, All communications should
be addressed t o Proprietor■ Southern Enter
prsf, Tkomawillc Georgia. ‘
, f For the Southern Enterprise.}
There is a great deal of pungent
literature locked tip in notices, adver
ttisoaents, &c M which are found stick
ring up on taverns, piazzas, club hous**
* Os, cross roads, groceries, pine trees,
♦etc., etc. The following is a speci
inienfc that can’t be beat; .
*. • • . • . .
. XoTiS.
“ We the ondefsined lias kild ah old
♦raiscbevcous brown stra kreoter, pur
iportin to be Long to some Non-resad*
ented inhabitant of this Townsbipp,
which we judged the game to be a
tieWsanee ! all persons consumed in
said Kreetur or Otherwise, is hereby
Notyfide to govern themselvs Acker
dingly. Witness our return hereon
Indorsed/* . * . / ’
In these transition . times of the
South when almost •every one is turn*. J
ing his mind toward some, method of
making a living, or a fortune by. any
means which promises to be profitable
•other than by farming .with free labor,
tfche following may be of service ■:
“ Short Cut to. fortune** •
M A Fortune!! .The undersigned,
o® receipt of One Dollar, will forward
to any address a Resipe* by which anyf
enterprising man may make a speedy
FortuKe.’ The undersigned makes
from fifteen to fifty dollars a week.—
Address William de Vere. Through
Pott's Dispatch Office.
: may 12—U * 475.”
“ That looks kiuder sensible arter
all,*’ said. Mr. Epbe Grunter, the fan
flier, as in an interval ol rest from
purchasers, he leaned against his mar**
kefc wagon, and read over the above
advertisement in a morning paper.—
* “ Le’ss see, he aint goin’ to charge but
a dollar, an’ sezes as how he makes fif
teen to fifty a week out on it. Le’ss
seo !” and here Mr. Grunter drew out
the stump of a lead pencil from some
* distant corner of his waistcoat pocket,
the action causing him to writhe round
Tike a bull-tarrier with a wasp on his
back, and moistening the end of the
pencil, he at once proceeded, on one
edge of the newspaper, to the follow*
ing calouiations :
52 .52
15 50
* 260 $2600
■ 52. ■ ■ .
- * •%
S7BO
fßy which he proved that any enter 1
man might make either S7BO
, or §£soo a year,
THOMASVILLE, GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 1865.
“ Some differens’, by Gosh! thought
he, howsoniever, perhaps the feller
aint so enierprizin’. some weeks as oth
ers ; guess that’s wet makes the eggs
run so different, like. .Now wot if I.
should >ehd that • feller-^-wot’s. his
name? Oh yez, Dev very, a dollar —■
wfli! that’s four pound of batter, hjit
then, again, I kclkillate on get tin’
a mighty sight more r n I give. How
they would sfan’ round in Tubtown
when they see me with a fortin’!—
Wonder if ole man Price's darter
would be as snaptious at a feller,
knowin’ that he had a big fortin’! I
ka kellate I’d rather take down that
Jim Morris, with all his eternal dash**
ed fine store close, and perliteness, cut
his spurs off! and —yes, the p’ison
cuss, I’ll giv a doller to this here
newspaper feller, cf its only to git a
fortin’ and spite that ar Jim Morris,
the stuck up jackass of a -store keep
er !’• Here Mr. Grunter’s meditations
were interrupted by the voice of a
woman asking : ‘ How d’ye sell egirs?’
To which he answered : 1 Two bits a
duzziu,mam !’ and in similar converse
the morning passed. Lulls however,
took place in the storm of selling, and
Mr. Grunter improved these in reflec;
ting over the correct wording of a note
to the feller as was going to give him
a ‘fortin’ for a doller.’ He thought
of commencing it in the orthodox way,
‘I now take my pen in handbut at
ouce he dropped that, ‘coz it looked
alt’gether too perlite to a feller who
wants to sell suinthin !’. Then of burst
ing out:: ‘Here, ole feller, here’s a dol
ler, send a long all you've got ter say
bout making that fortin’. But this
was too familliar, and Mr. Grunter
eoujd’nt afford familiarity with a news
m
paper feller. It was not, however,
till lie had sold out in market, and
stepped over to the Tavern, and sat
down to. the table with a sheet of pa
per, pens, ink and wafers before him
that the “immunity’’;of writing a let*,
ter really overcome him. He could’ht
summon up words ; his brains were as
destitute- of . thoughts as a hen is cf
hair.. In the intensity of liis perplex
ity he let his head fall on; his’ breast,,
rammed his hands into his pantaloons
pockets, and .straightened out his legs.
His hand sundenly touched his pocket
book, and instantly a spark of intelli
gence . was oomlnunicated, from the
positive contents, of that book,, to the
negative contents of his head, and the
electricity escaped on the sheet of pat
per,.to wit':.
“ Sir—You say. you can set a feller
to maken a. fortin for a doller. Grind
on, I’m a lissenln’! You say you ean
maifc from - fifteen to fifty doilers a
weak ; now I want to make fifty dol**
lers a weak. Rite all the smallest kind
ov perticlers so as how their caunt be
do kind o’, mistakes, at the Green bull
tavern is whair You may send a An
swer, to, whitch i hoap will be right
speedily, as i cum to town next weak
i send you inside a doller noat now
mind you act plain and skware with
Yours till i heer from you,
E. GRUNTER.
Green bull tavern Juin 12, 18—.”
The ‘doller noat’ inclosed by Mr.
Grunter was on a wild cat bank, bro
ken and “busted up” so high, the
crows could’nt fly to it ! at least, so
they had told him at the tavern, when
he went to pay his bill with it, and Mr.
Grunter, who did’nt relish the idea of
being “stuck” with it, determined tQ
stick the newspaper feller * with it.
This it was, had occasioned the elec
tric excitement before mentioned.
Leaving explicit directions at the
tavern to carefully keep for him any
letter that might be sent him, until
he come to town next market day.—
Mr. Grunter got into his wagon and
was soon driving along the road at a
briks rate for his farm. Contrary to
his usual custom, he did not lie down
in the straw on the bottom of his wag
on, and go to sleep, or rather doze,
opening an eye a louder rattling
than usual warned him that some body
coining j but he eat up in his seat
ard whisked the lashess whip, jerked
the reins so that his o!d horse thought
his head was coming off, and kept up
such a devil of-a thinking generally,
looking inwards, that his eyes were of
no more use to him than corn to a
weather eock. •
Mr. Grunter affirms that the inter
val between the time he wrote that
letter and received the answer, was
‘just the most jollyiesfc time he ever
knew/ He says during that time ‘he
bought rnorc’n fifty farms, big and lit
tle ; got the greatest kind of a lot of
stock, built the switcbingest great
barn j got elected Senator, went to
Congress, had three fights ; and ’bout
the day he had to go to market again,
there was some talk ’bout making him
Presidents All this did Mr. Grun
ter go through—in imagination !
Next market day Mr. Grunter found,
on his arrival at the Green bull tavern,
a letter directed to him, which he
nervously opened and read :
“Mr. E, Guumer ;.
. Dear Sir, Your letter of twelfth of
this month.is to hand, aud according
to promise, as per newspaper, I send
you a Recipe by which any enterpris
ing man can make a fortune. Only
be enterprising, and in this communi
ty you will be sure to be prosperous
and happy f* •
. “soap, : :
Go buy a large tin kittle and a long
n-ife and go nocking round at all the
back gates assiduously* Pei haps some
of them will cuss you, but don’t be
put back. Go ahead!—enterprise is
sure to prosper. Bymeby you’ll get
fat—soap fat l then more fat, and fat,
till you get big enough to boil up into
soap with lye and other ingredients,
as per receipt given in soap making
books. It’s father tedious work in
summer, and aint quite so perfumed
like as it might be, still a enterprising
man don’t mind that. Hoping you’ll
be gratified, and mak# your “fifty
dollars a week,
.. lam yours,.
WILLIAM DEVER.
.P.'S /My pardner. being absent to
the races I write the letter in his ab
sence, which-will account for the dif
ferent handwriting from the word
soap down to this.. The way I maik
from 615 t 0.550 a week is by selling
of this-receipt / Go it fcnargy \
It was well for Mr. William De
V r ere’s cr Deveris’ health, that Mr. E.
Guniter bad’nt him within arms reach
at the time the latter finished reading
this letter; Mr. fDevere would have
been severely exercised \ as it was, if
was some consolation for Mr. Gunter
that the dollar noat’ any how, was on
ly a dod>rotted, broken-bank thing.—
But even this peg was broken off by
the Clerk of the Green Bull Tavern,
tflo told Mr* Gunter that the dollar
note he offered last week was-a good
one; he had made a mistake in sup
posing it was one of a bank of similar
name, but in a different State which
had failed.
Mr. Gunter is cured of answering
any more such advertisements• his
eyes are open to the fallacy of making
a speedy fortune for one dollar, via
Soap fat! He's traveling, the long
and steady agricultural road, and here
after intends avoiding u all short cuts to
fortune.”
At a session of the Tennessee An
nual Conference held at Nashville
some years ago, Gen. Jackson had
been invited, by a vote ot the breth
ren, that they might have an introduce
tion to him.
The committee was appointed, and
the General fixed the time for nine
o’clock on Monday morning. The
Conference room being too small to
accommodate the hundreds who wish,
ed to witness the introduction, one of
the churohes was substituted, and an
hour before the time, filled to over**
• * V ‘* V J
flowing. . Front seats were reserved
for the< members of the Conference,
which was called to order by the. Bish
op. seated in a large chair in the front
of the altar, just before the pulpit.—-
After prayer, the committee retired,
and a minute after entered conducting
the man whom all delighted to honor.
They led him up to the Bishop’s chair
which was made vacant for him, the
Bishop meanwhile occupying another
place within the altar. The Secretary
was directed to call the names of the
members of the Conference, which
he did in. alphabetical order, each
coming forward and receiving from
the Bishop a personal introduction to
the Ex-President, and immediately
retiring to give place to another. The
ceremony had been nearly completed.
The Secretary read the name of Rev.
J. T ——, an elderly gentleman, with
a weather-beaten face, clad with a suit
of jeans, arose and came forward.—
Few seemed to know him. He had
always been on circuit on the frontier ;
and though always at Conference, he
nevor troubled it with long speeches,
but kept his seat and said but little,
therefore, wan always to the purpose.
Mr. T—— came forward, and was in
troduced to General Jackson. He
turned his face toward the General,
who said :
“It seems to me tliot we have met
before.” The preacher, apparently
embarrassed, said, “I: was with you
through the Creek campaign, one of
your body guard ad the battle of Horse
Shoe, and fought under your command
at New Orleans.” The General rose
slowly from his scat, and’ throwing his
long, withered, bony arms around the
preacher’s neck, exclaimed ; “Weil
soon meet where there is no war;
where the smoke of battle never rolls
up its sulphurious incense.” “Never
before or since,” says an eye-witness,
“have I seen as many tears shed as
there flowed from the eves of that
.
vast .assembly, The old hero and
the old preacher have both fought
their last battle, and laid their armor
by, and gone to that eternal rest,”
And with both ‘it is well/
There was once upon a time a rath
er hard case., in a town which shall be
nameless, in the State of Georgia, who
had been under discipline iii the
Methodist Church, but into whose
fold lie had again applied for admis
sion. . His. appeal was argued in the
following language by an ardent and
forgiving brother: “Let us try him
once more, brethering”. said he; “I
know he has fell from from grace onc’fc
or twice’t; I know he has back-slid
ah more times than he’s got fingers
and toes-ali; I know he has been a
Icetle inconsistent-ah ; and they do
say that he has ——- But’ its’
no use’t to dwell on these pints now
ah. He has repented, and he wants
to come backah, and to be and to do
good-ah ! Let us try him, brethering,
once more. Sometimes the wust men
makes the best Christians. Let us re
member the parable of the barren fig
treeah ; let us dig about him, and
dung him, and see if he don’t come
out greener than everoah !” This last
argument settled the scape graces ad
mission. . .
The ayes had it. . . . \
* #
’ An enraged parent bad jerked his
provoking son across his knee, and
was operating on the exposed portion
of the unchin’s person with great ve
hemence, when the young one dug in*
to the parental leg with hie venomous
little teeth. “Blazes ! what are you
biting me for ?” “Well, who begin
ned this ’ere war?’*
■ ■
The New Jersey Democratic State
Convention, which met on Wednes
day, nominated Gen, Theodore Run
yon for Governor. The Convention
declared, most emphatically, against
negro auffrage.
TEEMS $4,00 A Year, in Advance.
o€atb*bcd SceneN.
f 3Tiie rich carding) Beaufort said :
“And must I die 1 Will not all
riebts save me? I eould purchase
the kingdom, if that would prolong
my life. Alas! there is no bribing
death/'.
An English nobleman said: “I
have a splendid passage to the grave ‘
li die in state and languish under %
gjiilded canopy ; lam expiring on
soft and dowuy pillows, and respect’
foUy attended by my servants and
physicians ; my dependents sigh ; my
sisters Weep \ my father bends be*
neath a load of grief and years ; my
lovely wife, pale and silent, conceals
her inmost anguish ; my friend, who.
was as my own soul, suppresses his
sighs* and l&tves me to hide his se
cret griefs. O ! which of them will
bail me from the arrest of death ?
Who can descend into the dark pris*
on of the grave with me ? Hero
they will leave me after having paid a
few idle ceremonies to the breathless
clay which may lie reposed in stato,
while my soul, my only conscious part
may stand • trembli n g before the •
Judge/’
The celebrated Talleyrand on his
death'bed, was visited by Louis I'fiil
lippe, King of the French, “How
do you feel V ’ said the King. The
answer was, “Sir* I am suffering the
pangs of the damned/’
Sir Thomas Scott said : “Until
this moment I. believed there was
neither a God nor a hell, Now. I j
know and feel that there are both,
and that:l-am doomed to perdition-by
the just judgment of the Almighty/
[ A rich man, when dying, was in
formed by bis physician that he sho’d
prepare for the worst. “Cannot I
live for a week ?” “No,” said the
doctor, “you will probably continue
for a little while.’* “Say not so,” said
the. dying man* “I will give., you a
hundred- thousand dollars it you will
prolong my life three days, but in less
than an hour be was dead/’
Biabop Burnett, once preaching be
fore Charles 11., was much warmed by
his subject, and, uttering a religious
truth in a very earnest manner, with
great vehemence struck his clenched
hand on the desk, and cried::
“Who dares deny this ?”
“Faith,” exclaimed the king, in a
key not quite so large, as the preacher,
“nobody, I should think, who is with*
in reach of that great fist of yours.”
An Irish judge tried two most no*
torious fellows for highway, robbery.—
To the astonishment of the Court, as
well as the prisoners themselves, they
were found not guilty. As they were
removed from the bar, the Judge, ad-*
dressing the jailor,, said “Mr. Mur
phy, you would greatly.ease my mind
if you would kgep those two respect*
able gentlemen* until seven or halt
past seven o'clock, for I mean to set
out for Dublin at five, and I should
like to have at? least two hours start of
them/’
Another Rebellion In Chinn
the Capital in Danger.
The latest advices from China are
dated Shanghai, June 22d. A rebel
lion, known as the “ Nienfel rebel
lion,'’is spreading r rapidly, the latest
report being that the city of Chu sou
Hsien, remarkable as being the birth
place of has been captured
and sacked. The rebels have taken,
up a strong position in the neighbor
hood of Paoting-fo, an important city
lying about one hundred miles to the
southwest of Pekin, endangering its
safety. The authorities of the city
have applied for British military oflb
Cers.
Colonel Burgevine is in custody of
the Mandarians at Foochow, who re&
fuses to comply with the demands of
the American Consul for his release.
Seven thousand Chinese troops have
embarked at Shanghai for Tientsin, to
operate against Nienfel. .
NO. I*2.