The weekly banner. (Athens, Ga.) 1891-1921, November 24, 1891, Image 1

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The weekly banner., November 24, 1891, Image 1

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Newspaper Page Texti I >88 to divine the rea- ereof. He little fan- lat he is living high tiish high living on tsgivingday. He can- tderstand the mean- the smilee that we lavished upon him, Lned in a ooop while sees is in force he It is to prevent him t and taking any ex tend to rednoe his mnscles to an extent shatter the artistic ire or vegetable ivory ietic sight to see a for a Thanksgiving 3 wistfully across the vhere the partridge n of a shop >f light overcoats, some of ne are solid liver while ped like bacon. He stands for a sufficient length of Mm varicose veins in that he little dreams that he *> without a leg to stand his wings will be utilized ». while his wishbone dries r ttie library door like a ole of a wigwam, orious thing it is for the turkey that he can eat himself into a state of epicurean perfection and still be in total ignorance Briggs—1 didn't think much of the minister’s Thanksgiving sermon. GnggB—You would if yon had seen she size of the turkey his parishioners rave him. the untimely fate which F’^nSEggjsawaits him. Being a vain ppobulilv fancies that the food which is lav- Ult of lehed upon him is the re- jT* general recognition of his great ) BAUUMl fink 4# h a Im aw thfi THE PROFESSOR ARRIVES. the editor in?" “Yes, sir; sit down, are in a moment.” “I have here two little poetical gems which I dashed off in an idle hoar and which I think would ornament your col umns. Don’t be alarmed, pray. This Is only my high protection suit; I’ve been thrown down stairs so often that I’ve been forced to adopt rather heroio meas ures in the interest of my health. Now,, then, sir, if you please, we will get right down to business.”—Chicago Mail. American Servants* Anglo—It often surprises me the way that many American business men sign their letters. “Your obedient servant,” and yet when you call on them they seem disposed* to kick you out of their Goth unite—You wouldn’t be sur prised i f you were acquainted with the habits of American servants.—New York Herald. A Particular Husband. Mrs. Yonngwifo—Have you any beets? Grocer—Yes’m. Mrs. Y.—Please send me up two pounds of live onesi Grocer—Live oneSl Mrs. Y.—Yes, my husband says he has no use for dead on es.—Minneapolis Tri bune. The Poor Files. “There are no flies on me.” “No. You keep your jaw wagging so much it scares them away.”—New York Epoch. CRAWFORD STILL STUBBORN. Although Ordered by the Supreme Court to Sign Davidson's Com mission. Taleahasbe, Fla., Nov. 17 —[Spe cial.l—The supreme court today issued a peremtory writ of mandamus against John L. Crawford, secretary of state, enjoining him to sign an attest with the great seal of the state the commis sion of R H. M. Davidson, appointed United States senator by Governor Fleming. The writ is returnable to morrow. Crawford refuses to sign and may go to jail. There is great excite ment all over the state. Suspicious, Interesting for Him. Mrs. Ifangle—Have yon secured a lodger for your second floor yet, Mr. Goelin? Goslin (horrified)—I haven't been look ing for a odger, madam. Mrs. F ingle—Why, I’m certain my husband told me yon had rooms to rent in your upper story.—Philadelphia Press. Mixed Feelings. Professor (to Btudente)—Gentlemen, I cannot supply a better definition of mixed fee ings than by giving an illus tration. Suppose your tailor and the postman, with a registered letter con taining yo it monthly remittance, knock ed at yotr door at one and the same timel—Dorfbarbier. On His High Horse. “This morning I met our friend Z—-, and he did not return my bow. Since the czar piesentod him with a snuffbox he has ent all his old acquaintances.” “So I hare been told. He is so elated that he goes about sneezing "all day long.”—Diuble Boiteux. Who is that fellow talking to Miss A Simple Receipt. “Yonr hard wood floors are always so exquisitely polished, How do you man age to keep them so?’ “I put chamois skin trousers on the children, ar.d let them play on the floor.” —Harper’s .Bazar. Surer foundation cannot be laid than the real merit which is the solid base for the mom mental success of Hood’s Sarsaparilla. Mixed paints, all colors, linseed oil, varnishes, paint brushes, etc., at Pal mer & Kinnebrew’s, 105 Clayton street, opposite post office. r 'i - *118 Try BLACK-DRAUGHT tea lor Dyspepsia THE >i. "3* ) esusUteted with tbe C iSMU l v »*. I lUSM*«WK>r, Bzl. IS38. ses ■ -vr : - *■>? • c-vr v' sen: — ATHENS, GA., TUESDAY MORNING. NO EMBER 24.1891. THANKSGIVING JIMJAMSI Wf’rc thankful for tbe tilings we eat, Tlii-iiyiierH with (he turkey meat. Tin' health we have, the aweet content With hleaslliHH which to ua are aeut; Th< guhlen. glorious puukln pica. Tin' ho[H' of heaven beyond the skies: The cct potato: a, piping hot. The i-lni-tercd blue forgetmenot: T jo celery crisp oud cold and white. 'vVT m r S» JV yfk ;l a ■9>v !•„ i .. The chicken gravy, ecnaoncil right; The royal ponce of si., 4 corn bread. The righteous eh . ;> of all our dead; The ) ,<llow beet, the pareuip brown. The emss that must precede the crown; The Imttor nerved In pots of gold. On i ,ni-ake« of heroic mold; The wnle expanse of all things good. Mowiee lose toothsome, though they're mde. And Isst of all, our dinner done, \\ e hHelen to give thanks ns one W ho feels that thanks are more than doe Ker medicine to pnll him through. Will J. Lanfton. THE RISE AND FALL OF T1IE NATIONAL BIRD. T IS now quite a little time since russet sandaled, gold draped, red headed antnmn smiled a gracious smile upon the blooming land scape and set her gay official seal upon the fad ing yiar in the form of a large, thick pumpkin pip. You can fuel Thanks- pving in the air. just as'yon can Christ tu it- or rent day. The spirit of the sea- eon is serene and quiet, and the haze shifts about the sumac like a dream, while the occasional breeze wakes rns thug symphonies in the dry, crisp oak leaves, and causes ripples of discomfort to follow one another rapidly over the shining anatomy of the short haired dog until he arches his back and tries to gather himself together for warmth, wlnle his tearful eyes protrude until it seems a physical impossibility for him to close the lids over them. And it seems to the casual observer of I’O' t'.c nature that even as the chilly air carls the leaves, so does it cnrl the dog s tail until it has the *Pl« - arance of having been done up m papers. The rosy apples have long ago been gathered, and the pumpkins have been put aw >»y m the cellar and the corn stacks have liven gathered aud are now robing the inner cow, while the cobs are being converted into pleasant pipes and pings lor keeping the month of the deceased porker ojs-n. Tlu- gobbler struts about with great dignity and pride, swelling with indig nation when approached, and tossing his Peat flaming red necktie about in the »ir. and putting on more style to the «qn.tre inch than a highly educated cir cus hoyse capering to Mow music. At this time the gobbler is being fed so bountifully that he is at a loss son thereof, cies that he is to furnish not ingof the daily lavished *ud when he is confined jj 16 cramming process little dreams that it is from moving about and that might jtwh or harden his jn-'t might jiossibly “®*°ty of a set of ft is a pathetic gobbler in training for a feaf t. while he ? nrk y landscape where /“•a* and whirrs, his in- ^naost spirit surcharged hi a vague, unsatisfied Earning almost equaled - v that of a tooth l^t shivering on hjent while enjoying Peasant vision of a window,- full of *htch in tone are ““rrs are striped one leg f or a m give him *hi n t r ’ yet he shortly be ^•hhd that J® l **h brushes, nR1 > over the °n the pole of a "hat ft L’lnrirmc a glorious teal state of affairs It is quite likety that ImwouM not look upon the corn when n 5° n the grot,nd ' «>d instead of drinking the water set apart for his use he would mt down in it like a duck, while nestling in his bosom the fond thi*V?£i Bn <* » departure might have the, to him, salutary effect of developing a nose cold or a good old fashioned at- !l! Ck fl 0, c C ^ n8 that qnickly sh»k« the flesh off his bones, feathers and all, amd render him as cadaverous and woe begone as a tailor’s collector in a biting snowstorm. 8 He would doubtless stand in a deep seal brown study, pictur- ing to himself the happi ness that could be his if be could only become pos- seeeed of certain patent medicines that are war ranted to make thin peo ple fat and fat people thin. He coaid then fatten on _ corn and red nee himself with themedi- dne. and thus live like a fighting turkey cock, and at the same time remain so at tenuated as to render his chances of go ing under the Thanksgiving carving knife considerably slimmer than his anatomy. He knows there is a certain spring on the farm that contains chem ical properties, but he does not yearn to drink of it in the hope of reducing his avoirdupois, for the reason that he knows that its medicinal virtues exist only in the circular of the farmhouse that would gnther uuto the proprietor many shekels of silver and greenbacks. He knows that the proprietor gives the spring a dash of qninine early in the morning, which fills it with a dis gusting flavor that causes the imbiber to fancy that it is doing him great serv ice, when in reality the qninine pat in it has only the effect of destroying the malaria germs in the bnbbling fount, that «Hll offers the imbiber a fair chance of con tracting a good case of typhoid fevor. Everything bespeaks the advent of Thanksgiving. The 4:20 horse trot at the county fair; the savory aroma of. pnmpkin pie; the strident ripple of the expiring pig; !he farmer laying in a box of dominoes and a barrel of applejack to make the winter night summery; the call of the loon, the piping of the quail, the deep, early twi light freckled with throbbing stars—till these suggest the season of Thanksgiv ing. And when commerce is ready to fold its sails to eat turkey, that poor bird is still fattening himself to be a sat isfactory medium of its, commerce’s, gratitude. Bnt if he tbe gobbler only knew; ah, me. wonld he then exclaim: Ah, would that I'd been batched a wild turkey To roost on a sycamore tall. Or lietter a rude turkey buzzard That never is eaten at all. R. EL Munkittrjck. Thanksgiving Thoughts. What a debt of gratitude do we owe the New England fathers for the crea tion of Thanksgiving day! The Pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock in 1620. and celebrated their landing with prayers and hymns of thanksgiving for their safe deliverance from the dangers of tbe voyage. The noble sentiment of grati tude which fired their hearts on that bleak December morning gave birth to the New England Thanksgiving day, which since 1863 has become a national institution, designated by presidential proclamation, the time being generally fixed for it on the fourth Thursday in November. It is an inspiring thought that this, our only religions national festival des ignated by the presidential proclama tion, is a Thanksgiving day. For grati tude ever brings blessings to the pos sessore of grateful hearts. We have other national festivals and other religions ones, made so by legal enactments, bnt Thanksgiving day is unique in being at once national, reli gious, legal and purely American—an emanation from the heart and soul of America. EL V. Battey. No Disturbing Influence. A DOUBLE THANKSGIVING HOW NCBBIKS KEPT HER TROTH. BY OHVl HARPER. rtit HE last red and , rnsset apples had been gathered, ready to be stow ed away in bins, the last golden pnmpkin had been laid on the pile, all the rest of tbe produce of the little farm was housed and the minister's family was ready to settle down to a season of rest and quiet after the labor of harvesting. The farm lay oh the outskirts of a pretty New England village, and the minister worked its acres six days in the week and preached the seventh. His salary was $300 ay ear and two donation parties, bnt M*. Preston said that per haps his preaching was about on a par with his pay, so he did not -complain even when he thought of his seven daughters. They were all nearly grown into womanhood now, aud three were somewhat advanced toward old maid- hood. Their mother had been a Mi« Apple, and she had died when tbe young est daughter was little more than a baby. The pastor, who was a man as fall of qaaint humor as he was of godliness, called his girls his apples, the baby and the next to her were called “blossoms,” and the two eldest went by the names of Nubbins and Twist, while the three in termediate ones were called Rnsset, Pippin (or Pips more often)and Ciderkin. No one ever thought it odd or ontef the way that the minister should call His daughters by these fancifnl names, for it was quite in keeping with his qaaint character, and the seven daughters had almost forgotten they had any other titles. Pretty these girls had always been, good they were known to be, notable housekeepers the five oldest were conced ed to be, and yet none of them had mar ried, and only one had even had a beau. Some fourteen year previous there had lived in this little place a handsome young man who worked out his appren ticeship at the glowing forge of the vil lage blacksmith, and he had often been 9een to offer those little attentions which spoke of his preference for Min Preston, otherwise known as N ubbins, and she received them with sweet gravity, in no wise discouraging him. nor on the other hand encouraging him Bnt Walter De Witt was poor, and i.orse, for his fa ther had died a drunkard, after having broken his gentle wife’s heart, and so the son not only ha., 'tie own way to make In the world, but also to rise with the weight oY fits father's misdeeds on his shoulders. He did bravely, and the people around spoke of him as a likely young man. As soon, or even sooner than the young couple became aware of their growing affection for eaeh other, everybody in tiie village began to discuss the advisa bility of such a marriage, and had set tled every point to his or her own satis faction, and the decision was that Nub bins had better be cautions. One lovely sumiber morning Nubbins was walking slowly along the meadow, keeping her watchful eyes upon the two blossoms, who were respectively two and fonr years old. She had brought them out here to play in the daisy span gled grass to give her sick mother a respite from their childish noise, and here she was when Walter came up to her, walking and looking as a man does when determined to do or die. He took her hand shyly, yet firmly, and said- bat it doesn't matter as to his words. He asked her to marry him in his own fashion, and Bhe answered “Yes” frankly, sincerely and without coquetry, with a world of tender joy in her tremulous oice and a great glory in her humid eyes. Holding her hand in his tightly he said solemnly: “May God make me worthy of so precious a gift Bat, Nubbins, 1 have also come to say goodby. 1 am going to California—to the new gold mines, where I shall work at my trade, because workers are scane there and wages high, and I think I shall do better at that than hunting for gold. As soon as 1 have made mon'iy enough 1 shall re turn for yon if you are still willing, and we will then be married. Yon must not look so sad, for I shall probably not be away more than a couple of years. SHE ANSWERED “YES.” And so things went on tor six years. Walter wrote often, bnt the cost of hv- Ing had been great, then he had been robbed, and he-wrote that he feared she wonld tire of waiting for him, and begged her to be patient, and- added that the hope of seeing her would nerve him to new efforts, and he ended his letters withjirotestations of love immeasurable. No thought of deserting her lover had ever entered Nubbins* loyal mind, and her love grew and ripened and was fuller and deeper as she grew older and passed ,froin girlhood to womanhood. At last a year went by without news from Walter. Another wore its sad length along and no letter; a third passed, anil then his name wus spoken in a hushed voice, as we speak of the dead, aud other weary years dragged on. monotonous, heavy, freight ed with, an unaccepted sorrow, until at last it was fourteen years since Walter had left his promised wife. Some said be had died." Nubbins could not accept his death as a fact. Some said he had married another. This roused hei k> anger, gentle as she usually was. Others again said, nodding their heads, that he had doubtless taken to drink like his father, and so had sunk so low he was ashamed to write. This she heard in pained silence, and only prayed in secret that it might not be true. Still be did not come, and she ceased writing. Fourteen years had brought silver enough to blanch the golden curls that clustered an Nubbins’ forehead, and had stolen tbe delicate bloom of her cheeks and added a quiet dignity to her manner, and she was now spoken of as the old Miss Preston, though she wait bnt thirty- two. The other sisters followed in age with about two years between them, and the youngest was almost seventeen. Blossom they called her still. She was almost tile counterpart of what Nnbbins had been at that age. only she was more lively, and was inclined to be coquettish, which her father vainly tried to check. So matters were on the last day of the harvest when they were stripping the trees of the winter apples, aided by sev eral neighbors wbo were making a frolic of it It was the day before Thanks giving, which wonld be also “harvest home” with Mr. Preston, and the even ing was to be given np to games and amusements for the young folks. The afternoon was about half gone, when they saw a stranger coming swiftly across 4be meadow toward them. They watched him with a high degree of ca riosity as he came walking over the meadow with strong, firm steps, like a man well assured of his snrronndings. He looked among the assembled peo ple. and then his eyes fell npon Blos som, who was standing beside a tree, and be was by her side in a moment, and caught her by the hands and drew 1* r closely to his breast as he said brok enly: “Nnbbins! my little wife! Forgive me thra long Silence, for I can explain it. Have yon thought of me? Yon haven’t changed a bit, while 1 have grown old and rough and gray. Why don’t yon speak?” “In the first place, yon gave me no chance with your great grizzly hear hng. In the next place, I am not Nubbins, bnt Blessom, and I think 1 have changed since yon saw me last. So there, now! Nubbins is over there by that pile of baskets. I'll call her.” Sweet Gum great remedy consumption troubles. and Mullein is Nature’s for cough , colds, croup, and »11 throat and luDg New let ns go, dear, and speak to yonr father and ask his consent.” Mr. Preston was shocked at first with knowledge that his daughter was enough to be sought in marriage, he liked Walter and knew of his brave straggles against fate, and after a pause, daring which he choked down Ida regrets, said, “Well, Walter, 1 am will- Ing that yon should have my daughter j as soon as yon can give her a home as good as this one.” Then they went to the invalid mother, who consented tearfully, for she loved (tii« first born child tenderly, bnt she saw that Nnbbins loved Walter. The old minister then laid his hand on Walter’s shoulder and laqghed: “Ah! Walter, I married a rosy Apple and yon are going to take np with a Nubbin.” “1 prefer this Nubbin to all other girls, Mr. Preston, and 1 woiildn’t change her or her name for millions." ■So it was all settled, and Walter started on his journey, and Nubbins re mained at home to keep his remem brance sweet in her heart after the manner of women. It was six long months before a letter conld reach her, and six more before she heard that he had started his little busi ness, with good prospects. Then her mother died and she devoted herself to the care of the little ones and the gen eral overseeing of their home. They managed to live decently on the prod acts of their farm and the $200 in spite of the two donation parges. •' • •' wotjnd hail apparently EeaTetT. BoFwitB its healing came a loss of memory which did not return for years. Not in fact till an ambitions new surgeon who I performed an operation which result . d in a core and the restoration of the lost facility. Then he went back to Morphy’s camp, bnt there came no more letters from Nnbbins. Then his best friend died and left him a modest fortune, and with that Walter started at once for his home and Nubbins. Never for once did be t.Mnlr she wonld be otherwise than loyal, bnt he had feared she was dead. When his story was elided he said: “Now. Mr. Preston, we have no apples in Chix.uruia yet, and 1 want yon to give me the one yon promised me so long ago, and we will start next month, Nnkgrine.” “1—you—Bloss—I have changed very much, Mr. De Witt, and grown old. Yon did not realize it. and now perhaps yon had better think over it a little, 1 think,” said poor Nutibins, whose tender heart had been bitterly wounded by bis mistake.” 'Do yon mean that yon are married, that yon care for some one else?” asked he, hoarsely. No, not that,” faltered she. ‘Well, then, what is it? Yon cannot love me, now that 1 have grown old and gray.* “No, It is and" ‘Is that It? Thank God that yon have, else how could 1 dare—why, what would I do with yon if yon were a child like Blossom there? I prefer my Nubbins to all the blossoms or handsomest apple in anybody’s orchard. Now, give me one kiss, my dear: just to show me Fm awake, and we’ll be married tomorrow, Thanksgiving day.” The kiss settled it, and the wedding did take place the next morning in' church, after the service, where Mr. Preston gave thanks for everything, and afterward they all went to dinner. Strange to say, in less than one year from then Mr. Preston had seen all his girls led away as brides. And ft ubbins grew prettier and rosier than she had ever been, with her sweet dignity added to her yontbful bloom, and “her husband praised Her.” one; dollar a year the Return. The first freshness of his joy had been givqn to Blossom, and it was with a be wildered sense of strangeness and change that Walter went to greet the cold, stately woman that stood before him, and the meeting Was constrained and awkward. How*conld She meet him warmly when an icy hand had clntched her heart as sire saw another mistaken for her? Then Walter must tell his story and greet all his old friends and be intro duced to new ones. He had been caught in a caving tunnel and Iub skull had been fractured. A little piece of bone had been fo/ced into his brain, and tie 1 who have grown old TRUSTEES APPOINTED. For the Georgia State Normal School. The Normal college is surely a cer tainty. The bill passed by tbe legislature at its last session e-tablishing a branch of the State University to be known as the State Normal school, is. being car ried out. Its government was placed in the hands of five trustees, two of whom ' were named by the bill, these being State cStnmisiones of education, S D. | Brad well, and Chaucellor William E. Boggo. I Governor Nortben has appointed tbe remaining three, and the Board of j Trustees now stands as follows. State Commissioner of Education, S. D. It rad we II Chancellor William E Boggs. Prof W. H. Baker, superintendent of the publio schools of Savannah, for two years. Dr. A. J. Battle, principal of Shorter College, for fonr years. Prof. Lawton B Evans, superintend ent of the pnblio schools of Augusta, for six years. This makes a splendid board and in sures success to the institution. Steps will be taken at an early date to pat the Normal School in operation, and the State may expeot good results to flow therefrom. KeElree’s Wine of Caniui (or weak Nerve CARNESV1LLE DOINGS. Carnesvilus, Ga., Nov. 16.—[Spe- cial.l—George S Phillips/, local editor of the Enterprise, is visiting relatives and friends in Oconee County S. C. Madam rumor has it, he has matrimon ial intentions, and a West Union belle is tbe fortunate lady. Miss Minnie McEntire and Mr. J. B. McEntire are visiting in Atlanta. J. B. Parks, Esq , made a profession al visit to Martiu today. The Carnesville High School is in creasing every day. There are now about 110 students in attendance and 125 are the holiday figures. The Great Man Comlenceudi to Chat aitli Brass Huttop-* It was 11 o’clock at night. He had a small bundle nnder his arm and was headed np Jefferson ave:»ue when he en countered a policeman and said: “My dear sir, 1 have just arrived in yonr beautiful city and am looking for the office of year leading daily paper. I rather expected to be approached and in terviewed at the depot, but the reporters were doubtless culled away on some spe cial ussigumenL My name is De Lisle, sir—Professor De Lisle." “Yes," replied tbe officer. “Formerly o.f the editoritd staff of sev eral bright and crispy western daily pa pers, but of late years devoted to mnsic. 1 give lessons on several instruments, but more notably the guitar aDd banjo.” ' “Yes.” “Reporters make it a great point to in terview me wherever I go. At South Bend they devoted nearly a page to me. I a:u low on my farewell tour of the United States. Don’t want to take up your valuable time, bnt if you conld di rect me to a newspaper office I should esteem it a great favor.” The officer gave him directions, and he uttered his thanks and added: “Nothing more is needed. 1 take tbe elevator to the fourth floor and find the city editor. A lways glad to see me. Al ways cull me old man and other familiar and endearing terms. Tickled to death to think 1 cam Big scoop on oar con- contemporaries, yon know. Scarcely get through shaking hands before he writes: “ ’Another big scoop! Our contempo raries not in it! Arrival in Detroit of the famous Pro fessor De Lisle, the world renowned musician!’ Do you see?” The officer thought he did. “The article goes on to say that I am occupying parlors at the Cadillac— pleased to meet local musical critics— will shortly organize classes in npper ten society—going to fill a long felt want and all that. The boys always spread themselves on me, you know. Got a scrap book with 1,730 elegant notices from the leading dailies in the United States. Papers in this town run on lib eral ideas, I suppose?” “They've been liberal enough to wol- lop me several times.” replied the officer, with a tinge ol bitterness. “Nothing to worry over, my boy. You simply went into the wrong purfesh. J nst read the papers in the morning and see how they sugar me. Do they have society notes in the Sunday papers here?” “I believe so.” “Capital! Look out for the Sunday issues. ‘We are pleased to announce the arrival from Chicago of Professor De Lisle, who proposes to make Detroit his home for the next year. Belongs to the highest society. Received, with open arms by New York’s Fonr Hundred. Was offered $10,000 to write a book on American socie ty and mannerisms, but respectfully declined.’ Sorry for you, old boy, bnt yon struck the wrong gait. Yon know the town probably?” “I think I do.” “Goodl After my call at the newspa per offices 1 shall want to put up for the night at a quiet and modest hostelry. Always do that until 1 get the lay of the town. Object: Rest and recuperation; also opportunity for qniet meditation. Direct me to something at about a dol lar a day. As I said, I don’t care for gorgeousness, bn t I do want the com forts of home." The officer told him where he would find such a place, and he scraped and bowed his thanks and disappeared in the darkness, saying: “By-by, old chappie. Sorry for you. but onr lines differ and we most part. Watch for the papers. Keep your eyes peeled for Professor De Lisle. Brass buttons are so so, but a purfesh is the thing.”—Detroit Free Press. Why They Stopped. Harry and Bobby were brothers eight and i line years of age. Coming late from school one day, their mother said: “Why are yon late, hoys?" Boaby, the younger, was usually the spoktsman on such occasions, and he an swer ?d: “Tie stopped."” “"V That did you stop for?" said mamma. “To toe two boys flghtin.” “Indeed! -and who were the boys!” “Entry was one." “Ah, indeedl and who was the other?” “The other was me," answered the unabashed Bobby.—Yankee Blade. 777i I will be at leis- He Couldn't Help It. Barclay, who is undergoing severe pnnistment because he has been sus pected of letting a kitten loose in the ochooli'oom, laughs as though he en joyed : t. Teacher (banging np the rod)—Bar clay, why do you laugh? Barclay—I can’t help it, Miss Bray. You’ve whipped the wrong boy.—Har per’s Young People. No Wondert “Can you tell mo where I can go to hear some good singing?” an eager look ing gueet asked of the hotel clerk. “I haven’t heard any in ten years." “Yon haven’t!” exclaimed the olerb. “ Where've you been? Traveling in Africa?’ “No; I’ve been on the road with a comic ojera troupe.”—New York Sun. She Knew Her Papa. A little girl aged nine called her father toherbeilsidetheotherevening. “Papa,” Bald the little diplomat, “I want to ask yonr advice.” “Well, my little dear, what is it about?” “What do yon think it would be beet to give me on my birthday?”—Tayas Siftings.