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ATHENS BANNER : TUESDAY MORNING FEBRUARY >, iw82
OVER THE WIRES.
the pensions for the widows
OF CONFEDERATE VETERANS.
WILL BE PAID MONDAY.
Mrs. Paul Hamilton Hayne Dead- ]
Big Fire In Carrollton— The Augusta
Carnival Is Over-The Governor’s
Pity Moved—Cattle Quarantine.
Atlanta, Ga., Jan. 28.—The long „.. T ......
delayed pensions for the widows of Con- toward th0 riTer ip Bea ^ ofahous
DASTARDS’ DEED.
| A Young Girl Enticed Away From her
Home-
Dstboit, Jan. 80.—Rosa Barowitch
a pretty 12-year-old girl left her homt
last Friday evening, dressed only in «
light calico gown, and with no hat.
This is the last seen of her by her pa
rents. The young friends of the girl
tell this story:
On the night in question, Rosa en
tered a house near by with twe young
men. On the same night the three
were seen to take a carriage and drive
federate veterans will be paid next
Monday, February 1st. At least this
is the day set apart by Col. Tip Harri
son for the payment to begin. Four
thousand and eight ' warrants
have been written
which had been rented and partly fur
nished by the two men.
In the house were found shreds of
the girl’s dress, on the .floor were also
found clots of blood. The young men
have not returned to their quarters
out, I since last Friday, and a search through
and only four thousand can draw pen- the city fails to reveal their presence.
sions, but fifty-two deaths having oc-’ gJuntoffir^uSSrsfm^fa'dwo
curred since the applications were sent murdered her, and then threw her body
in, fifty-two more can get pensions, j through the ice into the river.
Mostof the widows have appainted Col
onel Harrison to draw their pensions |
for them. Capt. Furlow and Comp
troller General- Wright, will also re- i
cMve the pensions of some of the |
widows for them. Bach widow gets
$100.00. The pensions to ex-con federate
soldiers will not be paid before Marc!
1-t The blanks will be sent out to the I
ordinaries the latter part of next month. ]
Mrs- Paul h. Hayne Dead.
Augusta, Ga., Jan. 29.—Mrs. Paul
Hamilton Hayne, wife of the poet, died
at the home of M r, and Mrs. Stewart
Phioizy, in this city, yesterday morn
ing. She bad been a sufferer from
pneumonia for some days and her frail
constitution gave way to the disease
She was sixty-one years of age, and sur
vived her illustrious husband only a few
years. She was buried this afternoon,
the funeral taking place at St Paul’s
church, and her remains were laid to
rest beside her departed husband in th*
cemetery in this city.
$5,000 Fire at Carrollton.
Carrollton, Ga , Jan. 29.—Carroll
ton Uad a $5,000 fire yesterday morning
The fire was the work of an incendiary
and the losses are as follows: C.O. An
drew, general store, $1,600, insurance
$900; Morrow* Harrison, beef market,
$250; W. it. Shaw, two storerooms,
$750; G. W. Gurthey, $900, insurance
$000; E. H. Long, store room $750;
Mrs Kirklsy, tenant bouse, $250. A
good bucket brigade and a good wind
saved Carrollton.
Augusta’s Carnival Closed.
Augusta, Ga., Jan. 29.— With a
grand hall at the Arlington hotel last
night, the carnival wound up. It wa
announced that King Cotton III. (Mr
T. U. iiligh,) was too sit k to be present
at the ball given in his honor,‘which
was a source ol regret.
The Governor’s Pity Moved.
Atlanta, Ga., Jan. 29,—Mrs. Fran-
cis Herrington, who iives near Duluth,
went into the Governor’s office yester
day afternoon, and pleaded most pitia
bly for the pardon of her son, who shot
a policeman at Duluth about three years
ago. “God will bless you, Governor,”
sa d she, “if you will pardon my dear
boy and let him come back to me from
the clnti'tgaiig ” The scene was dis
tressing, the woman wept
bitterly, and Governor Nor-
then was moved by her tears, but
be had to respect the laws of the State
of which he was governor. Letters
from prominent citizens of Gwinnett
county were shown asking pardon for
the boy. Gov Northen promised to
look further into the case, and will give
her an answer this evening or tomor
row morning. Meanwhile she will re
main in the city.
A NIGHT WATCHMAN’S BATH.
H* Veil Into a V»t of Boiling Water.
Wonderful Nerve.
Cincinnati, Jan.' 80.—Jacob Fulir
man, the night watchman at Kenner**
tannery, corner of Clarkson and Cen
tral avenne, met with a most horribl6
accident while making his rounds
through the building. When he entered
the vat room he became blinded by the
steam which arose from the vats, and
before he could see where he was going
he accidentally stepped into an uncov
ered vat and sank to his waist in boil
ing water.
The unfortunate man extricated him-
self with difficulty from his terrible po
sition, and although suffering the most
excruciating pain, managed to walk out
of the building. He staggered across
the street to a neighboring saloon, an 1
told bis friends what had happened.
They at once sent in a call for the
wagon. Patrol No. 5 responded, and
removed him to the hospital. A hur
ried run was made, but the poor fellow
was almost exhausted before they ar
rived there. When his clothes were re
moved the skin peeled off his lower
limbs, and his sufferings most have
been terrible, but he made no com
plaint.
The man’s wonderful nerve is a very
strong point in his favor, and the phy
sicians at the hospital ha-e hopes of his
recovery.
A Georgia Boy Abroad.
Chattanooga, Jan. 30.—An organ
ized gang of thieves, among whom is
the famous Bone boy of Atlanta, is now
working Chattanooga. Two of the gang
have been caught, and a number of
watches, some jewelry and other valu
ables were takeu from them. The po
lice are working up evidence against
the gang, and it is thought that they
will succeed in captaring the entire
gang. All of the crowd came from At
lanta.
Cleveland Decline* an Invitation*
Jnxkson, Miss., Jan. 30.—Governor
Stone has received the following tele
gram from New Iberia, La.:
'I regret exceedingly that it is impos
sible for me to accept your courteous
invitation to visit the capital of your
state. "Grove* Cleveland. *
This answer will cause great disap
pointment, as all hoped Mr. Cleveland
would come.
DR- BAKER ON TRIAL.
HU Second Hearing la ThiaCaleb rated
Murder Cbm.
Bristol, Tenn., Jan. 28.—The second
trial of Dr. Baker, the wife murderer, is
in progress at Abingdon. All the first
day was consumed in securing a jury.
It is impossible to get a jury in Wash
ington county to try the case. Sensa
tion runs as high as it did a year ago.
The Gilmer faction is said to be weak
ening, and is anxious for the trial to
stop. It is reported that the paramour
of Baker and her husband sent the doc
tor a card to abscond, if possible, and
they would not make any attempt to ap
prehend him. Thirty witness** were
ex-imined on the first trial. Twice that
number will be examine l this time.
Two weeks, at least, will be occupied.
Ten of Virginia’s best lawyers are en»
gaged on the case.
A BAD MEXICAN KILLED.
Dww His Knife on s Saloon Keeper
and'Was Shot*
San Antonio, Jan. 28.—Juan Coy
was shot and killed by Albert Kremp-
kan in the saloon of tho latter. Coy
was drank and offensive and the men
quarrelled. Coy invited Krempkan
outside, and when the latter complied
Coy drew his knife. Krempkan then
shot him twice, one shot breaking Coy’s
neck. Coy was a Mexican about 40
years old and a noted desperado, having
been implicated in the Karnes county
feud several years ago, in-which Sheriff
Elder was killed. He subs- qnently
killed a negro in Floresville. Kretup-
kau is a young man. brother-in-law of
Sheriff McCall of this connty. Tho
shooting occurred on a nublic.
The Chinese Have Smallpox.
San Francisco, Jan. 30.—The small
pox is spreading rapidly among the 500
Chinese in quarantine on Angel island,
landed from the steamer Rio Janeiro,
Jan. 20, when two cases were aboard.
Dr. Gram Will Get BaiL
Denver, Col., Jan. 30.—The supreme
court has granted a snpercedeas in the
Graves ease. Graves will be released
on bail. ^
FROM FOREIGN LANDS.
A Young Girl's Fatal Shot.
Louisville, Jan. 28.—John Blunt, a
laborer, was instantly killed by a pistol,
which he thought was not loaded. He
was examining a Smith & Wesson 33-
calibre pistol, when his stepdaughter,
Bettie Smith, a girl of 15 years, entered
the room at thia time and began looking
at the pistol which Blunt still held in
his hand. He handed the pistol to her
still thinking it was not ‘loaded, and
told her to see if she oonld shoot it.
She took the weapon from him and
playfully pointed it at Blnnt saying: "I
am going to shoot yon. ” Blnnt langhed,
the ^rigger was pulled, a load report
followed, an 1 with a stagger forward
Blnnt fell heavily to the floor. The
ballet had come squarely through his
his forehead.
Helpful Hints.
The Philadelphia Farm Journal drops-
these hints:
Scorch corn on the cob till it forms ;;
charcoal. Then feed it to the chickens
once or twice a week.
The tool room should have an open
pan of crude petroleum in it. Hoes, etc.,
to be put up for the winter may be
quickly dipped and drained. A sponge
will cover plows, mower, etc., instantly.
Put away bright, under oil, they will be
ready for action whenever needed.
Sweep oat the wagon house whenever
dirt has accumulated on the floor.
Choose a time when the best carriage
is out and then the dust will not settle
on it. To prevent clouds of dust, strew
the floor with moist earth or dampened
sawdust.
It is sometimes recommended to pnt a
lamp in the cellar when the temperature
is getting near the danger point A pot
of live coals covered with sheet iron or
a skillet is better. It makes more heat
and is not unsafe. The lamp may ex
plode or be knocked over.
Almost a Double Tragedy.
Lavatettk, Jan. 29.—Luther Mather
at Greenliill, a small village in Warren
county, this afternoon shot at bis wife,
but missed her, and then shot himself to J published in American papers, in which
Latest Flashes Caught from th* Electric
Wires Bader the Sea.
Paris, Jan. 30. —Mr. Whitelaw Reid,
the United States minister, haa for the
pest week been confined to uis residence
by a slight attack of influenza. He has
now recovered.
A representative of the Press called
upon the minister and showe-i him a
number of articles which were recently
death. They had been married three
years, but domestic troubles bad made
their marriage unbearable. They quar
reled over their child today aad the al-
terc&tiou ended in a tragedy.
Here’s a New insult.
City of Mexico, via Galveston, Jan.
29.—El Tiempo (newspaper), comment- j
ingon the Chilian news in tomorrow's
issue, attacks the people of the United
States, calling them an execrable race
of cowards who, because they are pow- J
erful, would attack a small nation. £1
Tiempo is the organ of the church party.
The Csarlna Shocked.
St. Petersburg, Jan. 80.—The death I
of the Grand Duke Constantine, unde
it was alleged that negotiations were
being carried on in Paris for redactions
in the American duties on silks and
wines in return for reciprocal advan
tages in the French duties. After Mr.
Reid read the articles, he said: "There
is nothing in it." adding: "I am not at
liberty to tall what the negotiations
were About; yon must enquire of oar
state department, but you can say I
have not made, nor have I been author
ized to make any suggestions affecting
silks or wines.”
Mrs. Parnell's Bank Bock.
LONDON, Jan. 80.—Mrs. Charles Stew
art Parnell, in the Wood will case pro
ceedings produced in court her bank
book with the debit pages sealed. She
then made an affidavit to the effect that
the sealed pages were irrelevant In
the court of appeals Mrs. Ann and Irene
of the esar, was a heavy shock to the Courage, the intervenors, made an ap-
czarina, who is just recovering from an
attack of influenza. She was so affected
by the announcement of the grand
duke’s death that she was again obliged |
to keep to h*r apartments.
Mr* Spurgeon's C*adlM*a.
London, Jan. 30.—Rev. Mr. Spur
geon, who is suffering from an attack
of gout in the head and band, passed a
quiet night. He, however, is still in a | \f.w-h
critical condition.
cation for an order to compel the
k in which Mrs. Parnell deposited
her money to bring its ledgers into
court so as to show how Mrs. Parnell’s
bank account stood. The court declined
to grant the application, saying that
the judge who mil preside at the trial
of the suit could order the production
of the books if be so desired. It is said
that the ease will come up for trial, in
all probability at the beginning
from
Aa Explorer—A Mania*.
Houston, Tex., Jan. 80.—One of the
companions of Stanley in the Darkest
Founder of a Cotton Mill.
Atlanta, Jan. 28.—George W. Duval,
one of the original founders of the cot
ton mill at Richmond, and one of the
best machinists in the state, died at
Concord. N. C. His remains will be
brought to Georgia for interment. Mr.
Duval was a good citizen, a clever gen
tleman, and had a host of friends who
mourn his death.
STILL DISCUSSING
v—.
The Best Way In Which to Reduce the
. Cotton - crease
The Augusta Cotton Couventin pass
ed more resolutions on the cotton ques
tion Wednesday. They speak for them
selves and will be read with interest by
tbe farmers They call for & conven
tion of farmers to be held in Mont
gomery, March 9,1892 to discuss and
settle this question. The resolutions
are as follows:
Resolved, To carry ont the recom
mendations of this convention to re
duce tbe cotton acreage for the year
1892 20 per cent.
We earnestly request all newspapers
and agricultural journals of the cotton-
States to publish the resolution of this
meeting urging all cotton
producers to accept the resolution*
and faithfully carry them out, and to
urge them further to endeavor to in-
cre <se the production of grain, grosses,
meat, and everything in general for the
support of man and beast. Further,
that we request tbe State Alliance to
urge upon tbe sub Alliances, and State
Granges through their subordi ate
Granges, the nrcessity of an immediate
cons-deration of and action on this im
portant question
That we request all city, connty and
agricultural journals and agricultural
organizations throughout the Cotton
Smtes to call county con
ventions immediately to consider
and decide tbe question of reduction of
cotton acreage, and that said convention
r o elect two delegates to a general
S uthero Cotton Convention, which
shall convene at Mon : gomery, Ala,
Wedn sday, March. 9, 1892 to consider
the questions aff-cting their interest,
and decide upon such general and uni
form legislation in tue various Sfcites aa
best for future relief
All cotton exchanges and bodies of cot
ton factors are requested to have repre
sentatiyes in said conventions by the
election of two delegates to repreent*
each organization.
Reso ved, Thar, the Augusta Cotton
Exchange, through i's proper commit
tee, send a copy of these resolutions to
tbe various exchanges and cotton asso
ciations, to the general committee on
memorials to tbe legislature, also to
lend out copies of these resolutions to
the various journals and agricultural
iganizationsthr ugh the South at as
-a'-'y da e as possible
Resolved, That each county conven-
ion be requested to take a UK of sub-
cribers who are willing to bind them
selves jto reduction amt make a report
>f said agreement fo- reduction through
h ir delegates t«* the general couvcn
ion on March 9. 1892.
In the happy thne a-coming there'll be nothing
to provoke.
But every bod}- then shall wear a light and easy
yoke;
The scores of quite distressing things that pain
ns every day
Will in that'blissful afterwhile be banished
far away.
There'll be no broken cables then oar wishes tn
defeat.
And when we pay oar nickel we shall always
get a seat:
Nor shall we have to wave both arms to catch
the carman’s eye.
He’ll stop for ns unsignaled in the sweet by
and by.
The fellow with the cigarette, oh, he will not
be there.
But in the other place, yon know. Will any
body care?
For since he's fond of smoking 'twill be totter
far that he
Shall go where he may smoke and smoke
through all eternity.
The man who on the crowded street keeps
turuing to the left
It pleases us to say of his sweet face we’ll be
bereft;
And women wbo with parasols are jabbing at
our eye.
They never can come near ns tn the sweet by
and by.
And she who wears a mammoth hat while at
the theater.
Oh, then is when with ghoulish glee we'll have
the Iangh on her;
For while the one she tortured will the pearly
gates pass through,
St- Peter, with aa awful frown, will say to her.
“Go to.”
The bores who tell ns stories we have heard a
hundred times
Andflong haired, crazy poeta with their soft,
insipid rhymes—
And likewise all the fishermen who lie and lie
and lie—
They'll never more disturb ns in the sweet by
and by.
The broken elevator and the bridge forever
turned.
These nuisances will nowhere in that city be
discerned.
Bnt this will please ns more than all the jasper,
gold and pearl—
We'U no more have to battle with the awful
servant girl.
The ice man and the coal man—it will fill our
hearts with mirth
To know that while they may connive to own
the entire earth
Cannot possess, when later on their time shall
come to die.
The merest, tiny portion of the eweet by and **«• miles and he asked us to stop and
i foil mil hnM nmt "
A PLEA FOR UNITY.
French Warships Alloat.
Paris, Jaa. 80.—A dispatch
Tangier* says tip* the French I Afrtea was J. L. McKish, a German by
have left that place. From this it is , . - - ..
ooncluded that the Morocco affair is not birth, and a man of fine education.
Mely to cause any further trouble in | After his return from Africa he came to
the near future.
France's World Fair Grant.
Paris, Jau.30 .—The government will
ask the chamber of deputies for a
thia place, and for two years had been
employed as draughtsman in the Hous
ton and Texas Central Railway compa
ny’s office, and was highly esteemed.
.... . , , . i -dr some time, however, his mind has
ot deputies for * grant ^ and one of his delusions
S-w* 0 ?’?? 9 iPf" 0 * ^ *K e , **" was that all of the rulers of Europe
kibit at the Chioago World’s Fair. | ^ dethroned, and that he was
__ , " ~ TZ _1... ..... to become dictator of the continent. He
General Manager of tho Columbus carried before the connty court on
Southern. a writ of lunacy, and it determined that
Atlanta, Ga , Jan. 29 —The pr*si- | mind was gone.
tlon of General Manager of the Colnm-
An Aged Citizen.
Hepzebah, Ga., Jan. 28.—Mr. H. W.
Whitehead, a prominent'* gentle man, a
successful farmer and a kind hearted
citizen, aged about 60, died at his resi
dence, near here, of a complication of
diseases.
A Mother and Child Burned,
Gallery Junction, Penn., Jan. 80.
The residence of Addison Hindman, a
driller, haa been destroyed by fire, and
Mrs. Hindman and her young child per
iBhed in the flumee. The origin of the
fire is a mystery, although it is thought
it originated in an over-pressure of gas
in the kitchen stove. Mr. Hindman was
away from home at bis work. The
charred bodice of the mother aad child
were found in an affteting-Tcsitioqg,..
arm of the former clasping her off?
spring to her breast. They were dis
severed on a bed, and had doubtless
been suffocated by the gas er smoke.
A M*xleaa Herder Killed.
San Angelo, Tex., Jan. 80.—A Mexi
can sheep herder was killed in Sleicher
connty, on M. Tray’S ranch, by two un
known Mexicans. Mr. Tray left his
herdrr with Us supposed friends in the
morning, and went ont to look sfter hie
sheep, mid upon his return about noon
be found his herder dead, with several
bullet boles throngb his body. Tbe
murderers escaped. A reward of $350
is offered for their arrest
AVERSH lOBLACKING.
No Shined Shoes Allowed on That
Corner.
There is a certain corner in the city
of Athens down in the business portoin
where a pair of polished shoes are nev
er seen.
If any luckless individual ever ap
pears around those parts with a pair of
bright, shining shoes upon bis feet, be
is promptly taken in tbe s’ore,
turned over- a barrel
a*d given a sound paddling
These gentlemen say they are oppos
ed to anything on that order of things,
that they do not believe in putting on
such style and that the boys- who come
around with shined shoes will have to
ake the paddling.
This is calculated to decrease the sale
of blacking.
Mr. Gantt Writes to the Alllancemen
of Georgia.
Mr. T. L. Gantt hi d a long article in
tie last issue of the Southern Alliance
Farmer in which he makes an able plea
tor unity among the members of the
organ iz ition in Georgia. AmoDg otk
er things he says:
Any one to read tbe proceedings of
many of our Alliauce lodges will be
lieve (hat the order is split into two
warring factions all over Georgia, and
will fail in easy pieces to tbe enemy.
This we must not permit—for it is only
only by standing shoulder to shoulder,
and working and voting as one man,
that we farmers can hope
to succeed—to secure that
relief we so pressingly need, and over
come the powerfni influences that we
have to combat. If our Georgia alii—
ancetmn now divide, it is all lost, and
a<-d tbe poor tiller of the soil will lie
I rostrate at tbe foot of the capitalist—
and any man, whether a member of
oar order or not, who says or does
aught to create or widen tbe breach
should be looked up<>n and branded a*
a i enemy to -he people aad a traitoi to
our cause. The true friend to our or
der will be found at work pouring
oil upon the r roub’ed waters, and beal
ing any wound that a harsh word may
have caused If there be differences
between our brethren, be will try and
r< concilo these differences, and draw
she opposing factions together before it
is too late. He will be ready to meet a
brother on half-way ground, and sacri
fice some of bis own convictions on the
shrine of peace and unity This much
we must all resolve to do.
HARRISON’S MESSAGE
bus Southern R-iilroad, has been ao-1 • For Malaria, Liver TrOU-
Shellman He 1
■ for Columbus
Jtod will take ebarge at once.
leRyeaterday^evening fwKmbul 1 ble * or Indigestion,USe
11 • * 1 BROWN'S IRON BITTERS
He il Recovering.—Mr Pope r>avi=,
who was reported as being very ill with
the measles at bis home in the city, is
recovering, and with proper attention
will soon be out again, .
In Which he le Forced to Accept the
Apology of chill.
Washington, _D. C. f Jan. 29.—
[SpecialJ—Mr. Harrison’s message in
which be was forced to accept the apol
ogy of Chili was sent in yesterday. It
read as follows:
TH-*be Senate and House of Repre
?entativeS—I transmit herewith addi
tional correspondence 'between- tbis“ r
government and tbe government of
nhile, consist’og of a note of Mr. Montf
Chilean minister at tbis capi
tal, tn Mr. Blaine, dated Jan
u-ry 23 !; the reply of Mr. Blaine there
to of the date of January 27th, and a
dispatch from Mr. Egan, our minister
at Snntisgo, transmitting the response
of Mr Pereira, Cbiln.nminister of for
eign affairs, to the note of Mr Blaine
of Januarv 21.t, which was received by
me on tbt- 26 h ina’ant.
Tb« note of Mr Mnntt to Mr Blaine
though dated Jan 22ml, was not deliv
ered at tbe state department until after
12 o’clock, meridian, of the 25tb, and
was not translated ano its receipt no
tified to me until late in the afternoon
of that day.
The response of Mr. Pereira to our
note of the 21st withdraws, wi;h ac
ceptable expressions of regret, the of
fensive note of Mr. Matta of the 11 th
ultimo, and also the request for the re
callol Mr Egan. Tne treatment of
tbe incident «f tbe assault upon the
sailors of the Baltimore is8<>con<-iliato
ry and friendly that I am
of the opinion that there is
good prospect that the differences grow
ine out of tba serious affair can now be
adjusted upon terms satisfactory to this
government by the usual methods and
without special powers from congress
This turn in the afiair is very gratify
ing to me, as I am sure it will be to con
gress, and to our people. The general
report of the efforts of the executive to
enforce the just right of the nation in
this matter has given an instinctive and
useful illustration of the unity and pa
triotism of our people. Should it be
necessary, I will again communicate
with congress upon the subject
Benjamin Harrison.
Visiting Relatives.—Mr. R. W
Says, of Atlanta, is on a visit to rela
tives Id this city for a few days.
THE SWEET BY AND BY.
THE MAN WHO QUIT.
HI. Departsr* Didn’t Create* Ripple of
Excitement.
About seven miles from the Arkansas
river we met a man on the highway with a
gun on his shoulder. He looked as if he
had lieen having a ten round go with break-
bone fever, and that after he had been
knocked out somebody had run his salt of
clothes through a cornsheller. He stop
ped and we stopped, and he asked:
“Goin down as for as Clark’s Bend?”
“Yes.’’
“Do me a favor?”
“Yes.”
“Jest after yon cross Goose creek you’ll
see a shacklety cabiu on the left. Thar’U
be an ole woman sitting on a log dipping
or smoking a pipe.”
“Yes.”
“And seven towheaded and ragged
yoong’nns rolling around in the dirt.”
“Yes.”
“Waal, that’s my place and fam’ly, or
was up to an hour ago. 1 want ye to stop
and tell the old woman that I’ve quit. My
name’s Hiram, and if she doubts yon,
which she won't, you kin describe me.”
“Do you mean you have left home?”
“Surtin. I’ve got clean sickened out and
I’m headed fur a healthier climate. Might
jist stop and tell ’ the old woman, ao she
won’t think I’ve got mired or drownded.”
“Rut didn’t yon tell her yon were
going?”
“No. I was out shootin squirrels, and
made up my mind all of a sudden. It’s
right on your road and won’t stop you
more’n a minnit. Goodby.”
We found the place without difficulty.
There was the shacklety cabin, and there
sat the old woman calmly smoking a clay
pipe with a stem only two inches long.
Scattered around among the stumps were
half a dozen children, each one seemingly
more dirty and ragged than the other. 1
was deputized to break tbe news to tbe
woman.
“Howdy, stranger!” she sainted as I ap
preached.
“Madam, have yon got a husband named
Hiram?” I asked.
“1 reckon.”
“Tall, sickly looking man, with ragged
clothes on?”
“That’s Hi.”
“Well, we met him up the rood about
by.
The man who says, “I told yon so," and fortu
nately, too.
The summer chump who aeks US, “Is It hot
enough for you?"
Will both be barred; and better yet, they’ll
shut ont every one
Who whistles “Comrades,” “Annie Rooney,”
■Johnny, Get Your UunI"
And it is pleasant just to think no woman
there she tl come
Who while on earth In public ever toyed with
chewing :;um.
Oh, the place will be delightful, and It’s worth
our while to try
To get a lead pipe cinch upon the sweet by
and by.
—Chicago Tribune.
AU from On* Pig.
She was a pretty little thing, and it was
plainly to be seen that she had not been
married long. She tripped into a Monroe
avenue grocery store and said to the pro
prietor:
My husband (there was a great em
phasis on the word husband) bought a
couple of hams here sometime ago.”
“Yes, ma’am,” said the grocer.
“They were very nice; very nice indeed.”
“Yes, ma’am,” assented the grocer.
“Have you any more like them?”
“Yes, ma’am,” said the grocer, pointing
to a row of ten or a dozen hanging bus
pended from the ceiling.
“Are you sure that they are from the
same pig?”
Yes, ma’am,” said the grocer without a
quiver.
Then yon may send me two more of
them,” and she tripped out of the store as
she had tripped in, and the grocer laughed
a wicked laugh.—Brandon Bucksaw.
tell you he’d quit.”
“Dun left us?”
“Yes.”
“Gwine "off by hisself?”
“Yes.”
“And he won’t cum back no mo’?”
“That’s the way I understood him.”
She looked around at the halt cleared
“patch*’ of ground grown up to weeds, at
the old cabin and the ragged children, and
then she removed the pipe and blew a cloud
of smoke into the air and replied:
“Wall, hang me if I blame him one least
bit) I’ve been wonderin why he didn’t go
far the last fifteen years!”
And as we drove away she sat there
smoking and trotting her foot, evidently as
calm and content as any woman in ths
state.—Detroit Free Press.
On* Reason
WHY GUBBIKS DIDN’T TURN UP AT DINNER.
—Judy.
How to Keep Boys on a Farm.
He told his son to milk the cows, feed
the horses, slop tbe pigs, bunt the eggs,
feed the calves, catch tbe colt and pnt him
in the stable, cut plenty of wood, split
kindlings, stir the milk, put fresh water in
the creamery after sapper, and to be sure
and study his lessons before he went to
bed. Then he harried off to the dab to
take a leading part in the question, “How
to keep boys on the farm.”—Covington
(Ga.) Enterprise.
An Effective Warning.
In China when a bank fails all the clerks
and managers have their heads chopped
off and thrown in a heap along with the
books of the firm. For the last 500 years
not a single Chinese bank has suspended
Its payments.—Journal IHustre.
What He Wanted.
Customer—(iivtrHte A porous plaster.
Clerk—Here it is. * —* ___
Customer—No, sir, yon don’t comethat, .v^kedbto to *
on me. I want one that isn’t full of holes. w
I never bay damaged goods, even at a re
duction—Pharmaceutical Era.
Not n Hint, of Coarse.
Mr. De Peyster—Why, it’s almost It by
that clock on the mantel. I bad no idea it
was so late. Are yon sure that clock is
going?
Miss Rosebud—Yes, the clock la.—Soraeiv
rille Journal.
The Secret of IL
City Sportsman (with sixty dollar ont
fit)—Well, boy, you seem to catch more
fish than 1 do.
Country Boy (who uses angle worms)—
You bet. There ain’t np flies on my hook.
—Good News.
Sympathetic Inquiry.
A peasant woman, all in tears, accosted
the doctor as he was coming out of the
house of a patient to whom he had been
summoned in great haste.
“Oh, sir, can yon tell me whether poor
Mathurin will ever get well again?”
“Yes. yes; don’t alarm yourself.”
“Ah! that’s better;” and, with a sigh of
relief, she continued, “Yon see, doctor,
lent him yesterday fifteen francs without
taking a receipt.”—Observateun
Poor Generalship.
v Mamma—Why don’t yon want to go to
Mrs. Grimes’ on an errand for me?
Small Boy—Swipsey Bangs an his gang
lives near there, and if they catch me they’ll
lick me.
Mamma-Well, I’ll dress yon upnicely
and give yon a Sunday school book to
carry, and they’ll think you are going to
the mission school gospel meeting.
Small Boy— Nol Then they’d kill me.—
Good News.
Outside the Show.
Ticket Seller (in high humor)—Now,
then, hayseed, what do you want?
INSIDE THE SHOW. .
Visitor Getting his two boys out of bag)
—I may be a hayseed, but I reckon the
smart chap in that coop will have some
differkulty in gittin rid o’ that fifty cent
piece I passed onto him!—Life.
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
The Onerous Duties of Mayor and
Combined.
We’ve Got to Do It.—We m
that some of the boys feel a bit sore a
because aa mayor of this town we are _
ing to dignify tbe office by wearing wh (
shirts and exchanging long legged b
for laoed shoes. We replaced the sawi
spittoons in our room in the town hall
regular crockery affairs, and Hank I
ter, Joe Glyun and others are g<
around saying that we’ve no farther
for the crowd.
While we wish it distinctly nndersto
that as a man we don’t feel above any
the boys, as mayor ol' a hustling waste;
town certain things are expected of us and
must be carried out. We’ve got to keep - j
cur hair cut, use passably good granmutt
and present a decent appearance to stran
gers. No one need be surprised if we are
not at the next dog fight, or if we issue an'
order that our official room is uot bead-
quarters for the gang. We expected tbe
boys wonld feel hurt, bnt we believe o;ir
policy will win their approval in the end.
Over at The Kicker office any one wha t
visits us as the editor can spit all over tha
fixtures and elevate their feet clear to the
ceiling, but when we are in tbe mayor’s
office we shall insist on all callers using the
regular spittoons and at least keeping tbeir
heels off our desk. Stmugers are dropping
in every day, nn«l we want them to see a
difference'UfitVvVen our office and the bar
rooms around town.
He Still Tikes Us.—The last straw that
broke tbe camel’s back in the case of our
contemporary down the street was when
we were elected mayor by an overwhelm
ing majority. He never could forgive os
for being tbe first to introduces paper cut
ter and red cardboard and genuiue prints
er*s ink into this section, and wh«n we ex
posed the actual figures of his 2,000 circu
lation (432) he tried to shoot us. But our
election was the finishing blow. During
the campaign he charged us publicly with
being a thief, a bigamist, a slanderer, a
swindler, an assassin, a convict, an incen
diary, a liar, a bunko man, a murderer.
He also managed somehow to raise the
sum of seven dollars tn cash and wager It
against our election. His charges all fell
to the ground, and he lost his cash money.
We were warned that he meant to shoot
us, but knowing that he couldn’t hit Pike’s
peak with a shotgun, we haven’t worried
any. Last evening, as we sat in our sano-
turn writing the red hot editorial on the
Chilian question to be found on the second
page, our esteemed contemporary came up
the alley and shot at us six times throngb
the window. Actual measurement prove
that wa were only eight feet from him. aud
yet his best shot only cut the buckle off
our vest back. We heard him crying as he
went away after emptying his revolver.
Poor old man! We pity him and yet he
makes us tired, and some day when we are
out of sorts we shall probably kill him and
pay all the expenses of a first class funcraL
To the Profession.—Several theatrical
troops which hit this town last fall neg
lected to leave complimentary tickets at-
Tbe Kicker office. We made it as warm
as possible for them, and none of them
took in enough cash to pay the bill posting.
Wo now desire to announce that we own
the only hall where a show can be given.
As mayor, we have the granting or refus
ing of licenses. As editor of The Kicker,
we can make it very pleasant or very lone
ly for any troop which refuses to coma
down. We state this matter very pluinly
because we want it plainly understood.
After the mayor (which is ourself) has
granted a license, advance agents should
call upon the editor of The Kicker (which
is ourself again), and leave at least six
tickets. He can then call upon the owaut*
of Kicker hall (which is ourself some more)
and arrange terms, date, etc. In this way
everything can be arranged to the mutual
satisfaction of all parties.
Explanatory. —Headers will miss one of
our most attractive departments this week
—that- headed “Cowboy Capers." Mr.
John R. Bangs, late of New York city, was
the accomplished editor of that department
on a salary of four dollars a week and
found.
Last week he borrowed our mule for a
ride into the country and he hasn’t re
turned yet. The mule was sent back, but
Mr. Bangs still tarries. It seems that
some of Colonel Long’s cowboys caught
him, and not liking his free and easy style
with the pen they pulled him up to a limb.
Being very busy with other matters, they
let him hang too long and \yere obliged to
bury him.
Mr. Bangs was a fluent writer and will
be sadly missed. We hod intended to raise
him to $4.50 next week, and also to lend
him a white shirt and introduce him into
society. We expect a Boston man on to
take his place next week, and tbe depart
ment will be made even more interesting,
if possible.—M. Quad in New York World.
: 3
A Shorthand Report.
Helen—What did papa say when yon told
him we wanted to get married?
-Fred—1 wouldn’t like to tell you, but if
the recording angel took down tbe remarks
verbatim be must be an expert stenog
rapher.—Life.
Got the Best of tbe Judge,
A lawyer was relating some of bis most
amusing experiences recently in tbe Boston
courts.
He told of a case that had come np
where a prominent lawyer, a man of pro
nonneed ideas, witty, quick, yet altogether
cranky, bad a hard time trying to defend
his client.
All day tbis case was considered. The
judge was irritable and the lawyer was
stubborn. Point after point was dilated
upon at length. No sooner wonld the
lawyer gain ground than the judge would
take exception by some legal technicality.
Then the lawyer grew sarcastic. He
was losing his patience. The judge re
manner that was not too
delicate.
The lawyer tumecr E9°n him and burst
out with, “1 always
was a gentleman.
“What’s that?” asked the angered judge.
“1 always thought your honor was a gen
tleman,” repeated the legal man.
The judge could not contain himself
now. Scornfully he lashed the lawyer with
his quick tongue. When be finished, the
lawyer said, “J always thought your honor
was a gentleman”—then, hesitating— “and
I think so now.”
Nothing was heard for a few seconds bnt
the silent muttering* of the judge; then
the crier called out, “The court will come
to order,” for the witnesses were convulsed
with laughter.—Boston Herald.
Advice to Wombs
If you would prot^t yourself
from Painful, Profuse, Scanty,]
Suppressed or Irregular Men-*
struation you must use '
*BRADFIELD*S
FEMALE
REGULATOR
■W
CABTxnsvxux, April 28,1888,
This will certify that two members of my
Immediate family, after having suffered tor
years from menstrual Irregularity,
being treated without benefit by pnyeicians,
were at length completely cured by one bottle
of JBradfield’s Female Regulator, It*
effect is truly wonderful. J. W. Straegh.
BRADFIELD REGULATOR CO..
ATLANTA, GA.
rOJt 8AIM BY ABB BBXmaiMXM.
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