Newspaper Page Text
The Cartersville Express
I, D«bHshe4 Semi-Weekly on ev«*ry TUEB
- ANI> KHID.VY, by
saMUEL H. SMITH, Editor and Prop'r.
i, the town of Cartersville, Bartow County, Ga.
Terras of Subseliption :
one ropy one rear (in advance,).. sa.oo
one oop’v six rawntbs, “ IJK
Thurwuiy Morning Edition, one year) 1.50
Thi* latter proposition is confined to citizens
t ,f Bartow County only.
Terms of Advertising:
Transit »t {Owe Month or hr**.') per square often
solid Nonpariel or Brevier lines or less. One
Dollar for tbc first, and Fifty Cents for each sub
sequent, Insertion.
Annual or Contract , One Hundred and Twenty
Dollars per column, or in that proportion.
(fa»;ds.
•foiln XV- WoJloi’fl,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
CARTERBVILLK GEORGIA.
Office over Pinkerton’s Drug Store. Oct. IT.
W. T. WOFFORD, A. I’. WOKFUBU.
XVofford «V Wofford,
ATTORNEYS ATUW,
CART EESVILLE, .GEORGIA.
June 23, 1870.
It. W. lUlirpliej ,
ATTTORNEY AT LAW,
CAETEUSVILLE, .GEORGIA.
Will practice in the courts of the Cherokee
circuit. Particular* attention given to the col-
Mction of claims. Office with Col. Al>»!a Jolm
>oii. Oct. 1.
J«tt ii J. Jones,
ATTORNEY AT LAW & REAL ESTATE AGENT,
CARTERSVILLE GEORGIA.
Will attend promptly to all proffessional busi
ness entrusted to Ins care; also, to the buying
and selling of Heal estate. Jan 1.
•f rf‘. Howard,
Ordinary of Bartow County, anti
ATTORNEY ANO COUNSELLOR AT LAW.
CA RT KftS VI LLE GEORGIA.
Jan 1, 1870.
% • JB. FoiCe,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
CARTERSVILLE, GEORGIA.
( With Col. Warren Ale in.)
Will practice in the courts of Bartow, Cobh,
Polk, Floyd, Gordon, Murray, Whitfield and ad
joining counties. March 30.
JNO. COXK, J. H. WIKLB.
€o\e 4k Wilde,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW AND NOTARIES PUBLIC.
C tfIWRSVILMi,' y..:’. .. ...GEORGIA.
John Coxe, Commissioner of Deeds for South
Carolina. _ _ Sept 9.
T. W. MU.NER, O. 11. MILNER.
Jlilner & Jlilner,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
CARTERSVILLE, .GEORGIA
W ill attend promptly to business entrusted to
their care. ’ .Jan. 15.
Warren Akin,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
CARTERSVILLE, GEORGIA. 4
Will practice in all the courts of the State.
Nlllll. 13. Patillo 9 .
Fashionable Tailor and Agent
for Sewing Machines,
WILT, attend promptly to the Cutting, Re
pairing, and Making Boys’ and Mens’
nothing; also, Agent for tshe. s tie. of the cele
brated Grover & Maker Solving Machines. .Of
fice over Stokely & Williams Store. Entrance
from the rear. fob IT.
Ifr* ,f• A- Jackson,
PRACTICING PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
nr FIE IX DR. PINKER VOX'S DRUG STORE
HE lias so arranged his business that he is
now prepared to devote his whole time and
attention ts the practice, and he feels confident,
with his extensive experience, that he can give
entire satisfaction. A liberal share of patron
age respectfully solicited.
Cartersville, Jan (5.
Jktltii XV. Dyer,
HOUSE-PaIITER.
CARTERSVILLE, GEORGIA.
Will attend promptly to business in liis line.
Jan 19, IS70 —\vly
tV. It. Tloiiiiitasdc,
Jeweler and Watch and Clock
Repairer,
CARTERSVILI E, GEORGIA.
Office in front of A. A. Skinner A Co’s Store.
House,
MARIETTA, /...GEORGIA.
18 still open to the traveling public as well as
summer visitors. Parties desiring to make
arrangements for the season can he accommo
dated. Rooms neat and clean and especially
adapted for families. A line large piazza has
been recently added to the comforts of the estab
lishment. ,FLLTCM LR & FREY HR,
junelSwtf ♦ 1 Proprietors.
!Engllsli Ncliool.
MISS MINDA HOWARD will open an Eng
lish Mixed School, in a School Room just ,
completed, near the. residence of J. A. Howard, 1
(JartersriHe, Ga., on the Second Monday in July !
next. Girls and little boys will be admitted on
the following terms :
jftrst Class :
Spelling, Heading. Writing, Primary
Arithmetic and Geography, (per nonth) $1.50
SsrtontJ Class:
English Grammar, Geography, Histo
ry, and Arithmetic,,Q>er month,) $2.00
No deduction made Odious of time, except in
eases of protracted sickness.
The term will cud on tM 12th of December
next. CSirtersvflk?, June 30-wliu
G.W.LEE& CO,
J_JAVE TAKEN CHARGE OF THE
Foundry and Machine Shop,
h#r«tofore owned and rnn bv
MR. B. SCOFIELD,
of this place, and have engaged the services of
J John el. MjaFontaine,
Os Atlanta, Ga., as Foreman, which is a sufii
cient guarantee for the success of the establish
ment, as it is a well known fact, throughout the
State, that for promptness and ability, he can
not he surpassed.
We have, also, procured the services of’the
Best Moulder In tlie South;
Also a cords of other Mechanics, and a netv
supply of Machinery and Tools have been pur
chased# -
Mr. J. R. HOWELL,
The Renowned Mill-Wrlg , ht ?
Will make his headquarters at this Shop, where
his celebrated
H'ater IP ft eel,
and other MILL. MACHINERY, will he built.
Orders art solicited, at once, for am/ kind of
Casting or piece of Machinery. We claim a trial,
as we are strictly Southern mechanics, and de
fy Northern competition to do better or cheaper
work., v >
Wit (Guaranty 3oh ©He ®o.
Will tell parties to the day when they chn hare
their work, ami, if not done according to prom
ise, will make no charge.
We'ask the patronage of our friends of the
South, Aid us, and keep the money at Irofnc.
G. W. LEJG k CO.
Cartersvil 1 Ga., June 20, 1810.
''' : " 1 ...
SAM’L H. SMITH,
VOL. ».
H. h. niTTI.I.O, Agent j
GROVER & BAKER'S CELEBRATED
S3EOTG IMHim
BOTH THE
ELASTIC AW» SHUTTLE
OR
LOCKSTITCH,
SUITABLE FOR ANY KIND OF FAMI
LY SEWING JIONE BLUER-
Men and Boys’ Clothing
Made on the Most Reasonable Terms.
In fact, almost any description of
SEWING clone
AsCheoj) as tlio Olieapest!
AND
1A TSIK 15ESTT STYLE.
IhKEDDING,
gus
w
DEALER i;\
STOVES, CRATES, AND
LIGHTNING RODS,
PLAIN, PRESSED AND JAPANED TIN WARE,
AND
House Furnishing Goods,
Maiin Str., Cartersville,
All kinds of Job Work done with neatness
and dispatch.
Tlie firm of Strange & Redding having
been dissolved, by mutual consent, I will
continue the business at the old stand,
feb 15 wly R REDOING.
Atlanta Stencil & Variety AVo^ks!
SEN. Z. DUTTON,
Manufacturer of and Dealer in Stciici!
SSl'ilii<L-<, Steel Vies, Steel Block Stamps,
Ranting Brands, Brass Alphabets, and all
Articles kept in a first class STBS GIL
JIoCSBi
VRICE L IS 7 OF Ml I ILABL E A R TICL ES
Stencil Name dates for mark’g cloth’g, 75c
Steel 'ting, for keeping keys together, 25c
New Style key tag, with name neat eng. 25c
Perpetual Almauao, the most ingenious
little article of the age, 50c
Any of the articles in this list will be
mailed, to any address, on receipt of price,
or the whole of them for $1 25
Address BEN. Z. DUTTON.
Lock Box 351,
mch 22-wly Atlanta, Ga.
N. B.—Circulars sent free.
REPAIRER OF
JEWELRY, CLOCKS,
ANO WATCHES;
Also keep on hand and for
sale the above goods.
Room in the store of Simon Liebman,
Cartersville, meh 22.
LIVERY STABLE.
ISTord & Moon.
cartersville] ga.,
tS prepared, at all hours, to furnish con
veyances into the country —saddle-horse,
buggy, hack, rockaway, or wagon. Also, to
board stock, &c. uov. 3.
if
and GEAR, Manufactured and Repaired in
the very best style of the art, in the quickest
time and at the shortest notice, and for less
money than is usually paid for such work
and stock. Try me ! W. C. EDWARDS.
Cartersville. inch 9—wly
M fe
V
Teeth drawn without pain, by the use of nar
cotic spray. mch 9.
W Id GILBERT % GO.,
CARTERSVILLE, GA.,
Dealer's In
HARD WARE, IRON, STEEL, NAILS,
CASTINGS, AGRICULTURAL IM
PLEMENTS, and GRASS SEEDS,
TERMS FROM THIS DATE*:
STBIOTLY CASH.
Agents for sale of
Tliresiling and Mill Machinery.
Agents for sale of
Murfee Su!> Soil Blows.
Agents for sale of
FERTILIZERS.
Dickson’s Compound;
JVItsHD hxLZE W' OOE’S,
Baugh’s Raw Bone, fAnd
OTHERS.
Agents for sale of Polk County
Slates IPoe liooiiix**-.
Ci GEORGIA, BARTOW COUNTr.-Whereas,
jfMrs. Fannie C. Pritchett, and M. L. 1 ritch
,ett haVe applied to me for letters of administra
tion on the estate of William If. Pritchett, dec’d,
late of said county.
These are, therefore, to cite and admonish all
concerned, to show cause, if any they have, on
or before the Ist Monday in September, next,
Why said letters should not be granted said ap
plicants. J. J. HOWARD, Ordinary B. C.
July ?8 1810
CSVBTEKSVILLE, BARTOW COUNTY, «EORIiLi, SEPT. Ifi. IS7O.
TO PHYSICIANS.
New York, August 15th, 1868
Allow me to call your attention to my
Preparation of Compound
Extract Buchu.
The component parts are BUCHU
LONG LEAF, CUBEBS, JUNIPER
BE RRIES.
Mode of Preparation. —Buchu, in
vacuo. Juniper Berries, by distillation, to form a fine
gin. Cubebs extracted by displacement with spirits
spirits obtained from Jump-r Berries: very little
sugar is used, and a small proportion of spirit. It is
more palateable than any now in use.
Buchu, as prepared by Druggists, is of a light oolor.
It is a plant that emits its fragrance ; the action of a
flame destroys this (its active principle,) leaving a
dark and glutinous decoction. Mine is the color of
ingredients. The Buchu in oty preparation predomi
nates; the smallest quantity of the other ingredients
| are added, to prevent fermentation ; upon inspec-
I t-lon, it will be found not to be a Tincture, as made
in Pharmacopoea, nor Is it a Syrup—and therefore
can be used in cases where fever or inflammation ex
ist. In this, you have the knowledge of the ingredi
ents and the mo le of preparation.
Hoping that yon will favor it with a trial, and that
upon inspection it will meet with your approbation
With a feeling of confidence,
I am very respectfully yours,
11. T.IIELMBOLD,
C ncmist vnd Druggist
of 10 gears' experience.
%
[From the Largest Manufacturing
Chemists in the World.]
November 4, 1854.
“I am acquainted with Mr. H. T. Hembold ; he oc
cupied the Drugstore opposite my residence, and was
successful in conducting the busir ess where others
had net been equally so before him. I have been fa
vorably impressed w ith his character aud enterprise.”
WILLIAM WEIGHTMAN,
Firm of Powers & Weight-man,
Man ufact uri n g Cli emists,
Ninth aud Brown streets, Philadelphia..
Helm bold’s Fluid Extract of
Bu^hu
Is the great specific for Universal Lassitude, Prostra
tion, &c.
The constitution, once affected with Organic Weak
ness, requires the aid of Medicine to strengthen the
sys’em, which HEMBOLD’S EXTRACT BUGHU in
variably do«s. If no treatment is submitted to, Cou
mp tion or insanity ensues.
Ilelmbold’s Fluid Extract of Bucliu,
In affections peculiar to Females, is uneqnaled by
any other preparation,.as in Chlorosis, or Retention.
Painfulness, or Suppression of Customs ry Evacuations,
Ulcerated or Schirrns State of the Uterus, and all
complaints incident to the sex, or the decline or
change of life.
HelinboM’s Fluid Extract Bucliu ard
Improved Rose fi r ash.
Will radically exterminate from the system diseases
arising from the habits of dissipation, at little expense
little or no change in diet, no inc mvenlenoe of expos
ure ; completely superceding those unpleasant and
dangerous remedies, Copaiva and Mercury, in all
these diseases.
Use Helmbold’s Fluid Extract Bucliu
in all diseases of these organs, whether existing in
male or female, front whatever cause originating, and
to no matter < f how long standing It is pleasant in
taste and odor, in action, and more
strengthening than ary preparations of Bark or Iron.
Those suffering from'broken down or delicate con
stitutions, procure the remedy at once.
The reader mast, be aware that, however slight may
be the attack of the above diseases, it is certa n to af
fect the bodily health and mental powers.
All the above disese« require the aid of a Diuretic
II EM BOLD’S EXTRACT BUCUU is the great Diuret
ic*
Sold by Druggists everywhere. PRICE—
.SI.2S per bottle, or 6 bottles for $6.50. —
Delivered to any address. Describe symp
toms in all communications.
Address
H. T. HELMBOLD,
DRUG AND CHEMICAL WAREHOUSE,
594 BKOADWAY, New York.
Hone Are Genuine
Unless done up in steel-engraved wrapper
with sac-simile of my Chemical YVarchoues
and signed
11. r JT. I IIAI3XISOI.i:>.
Gear Shop,
BY
W, C, EDWARDS,
Harness,
ISrniies,
Saddles
Dr. ,F. 31.
Johnson,
DENTIST.
Cartersville, Ga.
SIR MI-WEEKLY.
DR. JOHN B'JLL'S
«reat Remedies
SMITH'S TONIS STROP!
FOR THE CURE OF
AGUE AND FEVER
OR
CHILLS AND FEVER.
The proprietor of this celebrated medicine justly
claims for it a superiority over at! remedies ever offer
ed to tlie puolic safe, certain., speedy and per
manent cure of Ague and Fever .or Chills, and Fever
whether of short or longstanding. He refers to the
entire Western and Southwestern country to bear him
testimony to the truth of the assertion, that in no case
whatever will it fall to enre, if the directions are strict
ly followed and ca ried out-. In a great many cases a
single dose has been sufficient for a cure, and whole
families have beer, cured by a single bottle, with a per
fect restoration of the general health. It is, however,
prudent, and in every case more certain to cure, if its
use is continued in smaller dose# for a week or two af
ter the disease has been checked, more especially in
difficult and long standing cases. Usually, this medi
cine will not require any aid to keep the bowels in
good order; should the patient, however, require a
cathartic medicine, after having taken three or four
doses of the Topic, a single dose of BULL’S VEGETA
BLE FAM’LY PIijLS will be sufficient.
DR, JOSLV HULL’S
Principal Office
No. 40 Fifth, Cross street,
Louisville, I£v.
Bull’s Worm Destroyer.
Po my United States and World wide Read
ers:
T HAVE received many testimonials from profos-
L sional and medical men, as my almanacs and vari
ous publication* have shown, all of which are genuine,
the following from a highly educated and popuiar
phpsician in Georgia, is certainly one of the most sen
sible communications I have ever received. Dr. Clem
ent knows exactly what- he speaks of, and his testimo
ny deserves to lie written in leiteis of gold. Hear
whattho Doetor says of Bull's Worm Destroyer
Villanow, Walker co., Ga. )
June 29th, 1866 $
DR. JOHN BULL—Dear Sir; —I have recently giv
en your “Worm Destroyer” Several trials, and find it
wonderfully efficacious. It has not failed in a single
instance, to have the wished-tor effect. lam doing a
pretty large country practice, and have daily use for
some article oi tlie kind. lam free to confess that I
know of no remedy recommended by tlieabtest authors
that is so certain and speedy jn its effects. On the con
trary they are uncertain in the extreme. My object
in writing you is to find out upon What terms I can
get the medicine directly from you. If I can get it
upon easy terms, I shall use a great deal of it. I art
aware that the use of such articles is contrary to the
teachings and practice of a great majority of the reg
ular line of M. D.’s, but I see no just cause or good
sense in discarding a remedy which we know to be ef
ficient, simply because we may be ignorant of its com
bination. For my part, I shall make it a rule to use all
aud any means to alleviate suffering hummity which
I may be able to command—not hesitating because
someone more ingenious than myself may have iearn
d its effects first, aud secured the sole right tc secure
hat knowledge. However, lamby no mtans an ad
vocate or supporter of the thousands of worthless nos
trums that flood the country, that purport to cure all
manner of disease to which human flesh is hefr.
Please reply soon, and inform me of your bestterms.
I am,sir, most respectfully,
JULIUS P. CLEMENT, M. D.
Bull’s Sarsaparilla.
A GODD REASON F°R THE CAPTAIN'S FAITH,
READ THE CAPTAIN’S LETTER AND THE LET
TF.R FROM IIIS MOTHER.
Benton Barracks, Mo., April 30, 1866.
Dr. John Bull—Dear Sir: Knowing the efficiency
of your Sarsaparilla, and the healing and beneficial
qualities it possesses, I send you the following state
ment of my case:
I was wounded about, two years ago—was taken
prisoner and confined for sixteen months. Being
moved so often, my wounds have not healed yet. I
have not sat up a moment since 1 was wounded! I
am shot through the hips. My general health is im
paired, and I need something to assist nature I
have more faith in your Sarsaparilla than in any thing
else. I wish that that is genuine. Please express me
half a doaen bottles, and oblige
Capt. (VP. JOHNSON.
St. Louis, Mo.
P. S.—The following was written April 39,1565, by
Mrs. Jennie Johnson, mother of Capt Johnson.
DR. BULL—Dear Sir : My husband,,Dr. C. S. John
son, was a skillful surgeon and physician in Central
New York, where he died, leaving the above V, P.
Johnson to my care. At thirteen years of age he had
a chronic diarrhoea and scrofula,' for which I gave
him your Sarsaparilla. IT CURED HIM. I have for
ten years recommended it to many in New York, Ohio,
and lowa, for scrofula, fever sires, and general debili
ty. _ Perfect success has attended it.. The cures effect
ed in some cases of scrofula and fever sores were
almost miraculous. lam very anxious for my son to
again have recourse to your Sarsaparilla. He is fear
ful of getting a spurious article, hence his writing to
you for it.. His wounds were terrible, hut I believe he
will recover. Respectfully, JENNIE JOHNSON.
BULL’S CEDRON BITTERS.
■%
AUTHENTIC DOCUMENTS.
ARKANSAS HEARD FROM,
Testimony of Medical Men
Stony Point, White Go., Ark., May 23,’66.
DR. JOHN BULL—Dear Sir: Last February I was
In Louisville purchasing Dgugs, arid I got some of
your SarsappariUa and Ce Iron Bitters.
My sou-in-law, who was wish me in tho store, has
been down with rheumatism for some time, comnien
ccd on the Bitters, anc’ soon fouukt Ris general health
improved.
Dr. Gist, who has been in bad health, tried there,
and he also improved.
Dr. Ooiree, who has been in bad health for several
years—j Htomach and liver affected —he improved very
much by the use of your Bit-tars. Indeed the Cedron
Bitters has given you great Popularity in tliis settle
ment. I think I could sell a great quantity of your
medicines tbis fall—especially, of your Oedron Bitters
and Sarsaparilla. Ship me via Memphis, care Os
Riekett & Neely, Respectfully,
(O B WALKED.
All the above remedies for sale by
. L. H. BHABFIBLB.
Druggist,
WAIT EH ALL STREET,
ATLANTA, GA
Ihb2o, 1869 Ks It/
Editor and Proprietor.
Advice to Giels. —Somebody gives
the following advice to girls: “Men who
are worth having want women for
their wives. A bundle of gewgaws,
bound with a string of flats and qua
vers, sprinkled with cologue and set in
a carmine saucer—this is no help for
a man who expects to raise a family
of boys on veritable bread and meat.
The piano and lace frames are good in
their places, and so are ribbons, frills
and tinsels; but you cannot make a
dinner of the former, nor a bed blank
et of the latter—and awful as such an
idea may seem to you, both dinner and
bed blankets are necessary to domestic
happiness Life has its realities as well
as fancies; but you make it all decora
tions, remembering the tassels and cur
tains, but foi getting the bedstead.—
Suppose a man of good sense and of
course good prospects, to be looking
for a wife, what chance have you to be
chosen? You may cap him, or you
may trap him, Lut Low much better to
make it an object for him to catch you
Render yourself worth catching, and
you will need no shrew ed mother or
brother to help you tiud a ueaiket. ’
Out nt Might
Fathers and mothers, look out for
your boys when the shadows of even
ing have gathered around you! Y» here
are they then? Are they at home, at
the pleasant, social fireside, or are tLey
running the streets? Are they gain
ing asi reet education? If so, take care;
the chances of their ruin are many.—
There is scarcely anything so. deetmet
ive to their morals as running abroad
at night. Under cover of daikness,
they acquire the education of crime;
they learn to be rowdyish, if not abso
lutely vicious; they catch up loose talk,
they lidar sinful thoughts, and they see
obscene things, and they become reck
less and riotous. If you would savo
them from vulgarity, and from ruin,
sec to it that night finds them at home,
More than one young man has told the
chaplain of the State prison that here
w T as the beginning of his downward
course, that finally brought him to the
felon’s cell. Let parents solemnly pon
der this matter, and do all they can to
make home attractive to all the chil
dren, so attractive that the boys will
prefer it to roaming in the streets. —
There is no place like home, in more
sense than one —certainly no place like
home for boys in the evening.— Mm.
Bulletin.
Pulpit Eccentricities.
Some preachers of. the sensational
school select texts that shall be remem
bered for their singularity. Thus in
March, 1858, Rev. (1. W. Condor
preached from the words “Aha] aha!’’
On Feb. 3, 1861, from All Saints; Ma
garet street, London, Dr. Wolf preach
ed from the old word “Saul!” (Acts ix.
1.) Howland Hill once preached from
the words “Old cast clouts and rotten
rags!” (Jer. xxxvii. 2,) and on another
occasion from the words, “1 can do ail
things” beginning his sermon by a Hat
denial,of the Apostle’s proposition. In
the same style was Sterne’s exordium,
when he preached from the text, “It is
better to go to the house of mourning
than to the house of feasting,” and ex
claimed, “that I deny !” This secured
the attention of his hearers; and, for a
liko purpose, Cecil commenced a ser
mon by saying “A man was hanged at
Tyburn this morning.”
Whitefieid gave out his text, then
paused and shouted “Fire ! lire ! lire!”
as a prelude to his discourse on eter
nal punishment. Howland imitated this
by crying, “Matches! matches!” but he
excused himself for saying what he
termed out-of-the-way texts and out
of-the-way observations because he
preached to out-of-the-way sinners.—
It is said that he called his Wapping
hearers tvhttpping sinners. “Hang the
law and the prophets!” was the muti
lated text of a celebrated Scotch divine
who began his sermon thus: “so says
practice; prolession says otherwise.”
A Shrewsbury dissenting minister
preached a funeral sermon for the Hev.
John Angeil James, of Birmingham,
from the combined texts, “A man. sent
from God, whose name was John. I
saw the Angel fly in the midst of Heav
en; James the servant of God.” “There
. is no fool like the fool-hardy,” was the
text of the Hev. Dr. Williams, who had
a quarrel wi h a parishioner named
Hardy. “Adam, \%lk ic art thou?” was
the text of the probation pennon of Mr.
Low, who, with a Mr. Adam, was a can
tlklib hi' k'Ctnreiliip: "to, hero I nm!”
was the responsive text of his rival, Mr.
Adam. Mr. Joseph,.curate of the Isle
of Man, reminded the Lord-Lieutenant
Butler, Duke of Ornroiid, of bis forgot
ten promise to assist him with the pre
ferment. by preaching before him the
text, “Yet did not the chief Butler re
member Joseph, but forgot him.”
A Wedding Might Incident.
It wasn’t hardly a fair thing that
the boys did to Joe Thompson the
night he was married, but the tempta
tion wais irresistible. They could not
have helped it to save their lives. 11l
tell you how it was:
Joe was about the most fancy dress
ed chap in town—over nice and par
ticular—a perfect Miss Nancy iu man
ner, always putting on airs, ami more
dainty and modest than a girl. Well,
when his wedding night came he was
dressed, trunk empty, and his pants
especially, fitted him as if they had
been moulds, and his legs candles, and
run into them. Tight was no name
for them. Their set was immense,
and he was prouder than a half dozen
peacocks.
“AreiT they nice boys ?” he asked of
the two who wero to bo groomsmen,
and see that he threw himself away ill
the most approved fashion.
“Stunnin ! Gorgeous!” re; lied Tom
Bennett. ‘‘Never saw anything equal
to them. But I snv, Joe, ain’t they
just the least bit tight ? It strikes mo
that you will find some difficulty in
bending, won’t you ?”
'Pshaw, no ! They are as easy as
an old glove. See!’
To prove the matter he bent so ns
to touch his patent leathers, when'
crack! crack! followed like the twin
report of a revolver.
‘Thunder !’ exclaimed Joe, as he
claspt and bis hands behind and found a
rent in the cassimere from stem to
stem.
‘Thunder ! the pants have burst, and
what shall I do ?’
‘I should think they had,’ answered
Tom, getting purple in the face ns he
endeavored to control his laughter.—
‘But there is no time to get another
pair. It only wants half an hour to
the stand up time, and wo have a mile
to go. Carriage waiting too.’
‘ W hat shall I do ! what shall I do
YO. I<>.
‘l'll tell you what, Joe, if mine would
lit, you should have them and
but they are a mile too big. I see no
way but to have them mended.’
‘Who can 1 get to do it, Tom ?’
‘Well, I am something of a tailor,,
and can fix them so they won’t show.
Hold on a minute, and I’ll get a nee
dle and thread.’
‘Can you ? May Heaven bless you ?*
‘Off with' your coat,’ commanded
Tom, as he came back. ‘Now lay.
yourself over the bed, and I wid fix
you in short order.’
V
The command was obeyed tho
pants mended—the coat carefully pin
ned over, so as to conceal the ‘distress
for rent,’ and all went merry as a mar
riage bell, until Joe followed his blush
ing bride to the nuptial couch.
There was only a dim light in the
room, but it enabled Joe, as he glanc
ed bashfully arouud, to see the sweet
est face in the world, the rosy cheeks
and ripe lips, the lovely and loving
blue eyes, and the golden curls just
peeping out from the snowy sheets,
and he extinguished it altogether, and
hastened to disrobe himself. Off came
coat, vest, fancy necktie and collar,
boots and socks in a hurry: but some
how the pants stuck. The more he
tried, the more they, wouldn’t come,
and ire tugged vainly for half an hour.
‘Thunder!’ muttered Joe.
‘What is the matter, dear?’ come
in the softest of accents from the bed,
where somebody was \vou»dering what
it was that annoyed him.
It was a moment of desperation.
Joe was entirely overcome by the
situation, and forgetting his bashful
ness blurted out:
‘Molly that cursed Tom Bennett has
sewed my pants, and
undershirt ail together!
‘lt is too bad. Wait a moment,
dear.’
A little stockingless foot first peeped
out, then a ruilied mght dress, the
lamp was lighted, a pair of scissors
found, and Joe released, mentally vow
ing that if he ever got the opportunity
he would pay his friend Tom back
with interest for the joke he had play
ed on him.
A countryman stopped at the
Maxwell House, Nashville for dinner.
The waiter inquired what he would
have, and was told by the countryman
to bring “something of what he had/’
The waiter brought him a regular din
ner upon small dishes, as is the usual
form, and set them around his plate.
The countryman surveyed them care
fully for a moment, and then broke out,
“Well, I like your samples, now bring
mo dinner.”