Newspaper Page Text
VOL 5.
TIIB WBEKLT
tDarttrirllU
U pmWuwkU mwmij Jo*JEifXlDA.lt'
*7
Smith k Milam,
f’r*tyf*t*ra, at Tim Dollars, par #*-
mm. wtrictly in adwunet ; Two Dallara far
Six MdDlha; **«a Dallar far T hree M >nth*.
A Uarliaetuanta for ait **nth, or le.a Inna
Oaa Dollar per *q#*re, of tea lines or Imi,)
fhr aack iaanrtum; all other adrani«eiaent#
w.ll ha charged PiAj par eaut aa aid pricas.
" '■—■■■ ".'■-- i xj±?
JONES ft MAITBIE,
AIIOBNtrS AT LAW.
Carter twilit!, Ga.
WILL attend prom ptlj la all kusi ie«N an
trftated to their eara. Will prart ea ia
the Courts of law, and equity in the Cherokee
Circuit. Hpecial aUoulioit gieea to the collae-
V.t'.n of clairft*. Jan. 1, 1868. ly
Jahn J- Jaaea. R. Malthie.
Surgeon an and
Mechanical Dentist.-
rjTHE utnh-raigned respeatfally otfar hie pro-
I fehaional Kcraicee to the c'tizens of Cor
VeriVitle and airinity. Ha ia prepared
»u do all kinds af work belonging
to hie profession. Fall setts af
teeth put iu an gold plate. Work all war
ranted. F. M. JOHNSON.
Certerseille, Feb. 1 #, 6m*
M. f. F. JONES,
f4*KNI)KRB hi* professional iersirea to the
cilinens of KINGSTON and eicmity. aai
riwpoctlally illicit# a portion af ttieii patronage.
.lune a.
JOHN wT WOFFORD,
Attorney at Law,
CARTEMiIUf. SA.
ai.., FINE INSURANCE-AGENT.
Represents the best,. Northern and
Companies. Can be found
at tlie law office of Wofford it Parrott
April 10. 1869.
THOU. W. DODD,
Attorney at Law'
AMD COUNTY CIURT SOLICITOR,
t’ardnvllli. Asia.
Will five particular attention t* the
cwllartiort nfalaiuas. Oct ffi.
Jeh a C. Braaioa,
kITORNEY ft CO JNSELLOR AT LAW,
KINUSTO.N, UA.
J’bRACTICBI LA W in the sararal eoan
iias af the Cherakea Circuit. al»o, Polk,
ArraUon an I Fioy4 cottntiea, Prompt at
tantiad fixe# to barillas*, Pfas. S3, ly
(frefealUHlkl rant* $lO cash parannuin.J
W. R. PRITCHETT,
Attorney at Law,
CEORSIA.
f \'t AC TICK* Law ia all the court* of the
I "oharok.ee eireuit and eoantia* adjoining
lartnw. Jan S3.
JERE A. HOWARD,
ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW,
CARTERSVILLE, GA.
HENRY P. FARROW,
.TTOHNET AT LAW.
Atlanta, Ga.
Dentistry.
Dh. J. W. Kennedy,
Respectfully informs hi* old patrons
and all others who may wish his servicaa,
bat It* will. Occasionally, Wisit Girteraviilr.—
All O'ders Lift *t the Drug Stdre of W. L.
•irkpktrick At (V, for hint, will be promptly
atttnied to. lislerl to his liiirtfrrdiia patrons
in the country. Feb. 50
Lanier llous e,
MARIETTA, GA..
BY LANIER & DOBBS, Proprietors
rjlHlS House is located iu a few steps of the
I Railroad, wttars the cars stop. Passengers
takv three ntuals a day her*. Meals prepared
a all ho*r«. j«>J 2 *-
wTI). GOLDSMITH,
Attorney at Law,
Atuavta, Gsoksta
Will practice in Fulton and adjoining counties.
Alse in HartOfT Superior Court.
Oils* over Holbrtok’a flat Store, Whitehall.
March 50.
_ 4 MAL TQ|E.
REAL ESTATE AGENTS.
CARTERSVILLE SA
TYe are authorized lo sell, and and
Rave on hand several Houses and Lots,
and also nsmerous building lots in the
tftwn of Cartsrsville. Also several
plantations of varioas siie* in Bartow
Cm Parlies desiring to buy or sell
will do wall to give us a call. All
iKtoimniiicetions promptly answered
U\r 17, ‘
James W. Strangle,
Dealer ia
ITOVES
GRATES,
IRON,
HARDWARE,
PLAIN m JAPANNED TIN WARE, AC.
Clean Linen and Cotton Rvfs taken in ex
ekaair* f* Reptirinj, Rtofiog and
• tittering done with mat seta sad diijpeteb.
***rferavTlfe, K'iv. i. ylx
(Trotlini).
oM ass to arc,
Cable (fttiltrn.
'O
The finest and largest»tock
in the •UTJTIT, at
Hi 010 S 1 © amp Retail,
u as good Terms)
as can be had in the country,
NORTH OR SOUTH,
—BY—
mcbride, dorsett & co-,
WHITEHALL STREET, ATLANTA, SA,
November If, 1666. wly
(Sltftmfa
AND
Rolling Mill Qo.,
Atlanta, Ga.
MANUFACTURERS OF
RAIL-ROAD SPIKES, CHAIRS,
BRIDGE BOLTS, BAR IRON,
NAIL ROD, AND HORSESHOE IRON.
Castings, o( 3,1 descriptions, in
Brass or Iron, including
RAIL - ROAD CAR WHEELS, BOXES. PEDESTALS,
FRONTS. COLUMNS. AND VERANDAHS.
Mill Gearing aud Machinery Ht all kinds.
JOHN D. GRAY, President.
October 6.tf
AME R IC AN HOTEL.
Alabama Street,
ATLANTA, GEORGIA.
Opposite the Passenger Depot.
WHITE & WHITLOCK, Proprietors.. ,
nnHE public era rewpeetflillV itiformed that
1 this House has been remoddlrd and re
fitted, and re- >pened for the accnmtnodrtiop
of the travelling public. Much time, laoour
andeipcnse has been expended in making it
worthy of patronage. Modern improvement*
huv# been added, and the public ean re y «i .*
.being equal to anv in SSou'.herncities.
WHITE & WHITLOCK, Prsprietora.
BRYSON <Sr WYLEY, Clarks.
uyrs4.
Sch o ol Notice-
ON the 141 li day of January, 1867
I will open a common day school at
CARTERSVILLF,
7o continu* during the year. The
T * t Term wiilembrace the remain
tfflninK part of January, together with
February, Karch. April, May and
June, making 54 week* or aiz sch j
laa'ic month*.
I'hs Heeand term will eonaiat of Sixteen
Wcoka—four scholastic month#.
Tuition.
Primary, $ I-YO
Ordinary English 2,40
per month.
All to be paid, without other ar rangemehi
aro made at the end of each month.
Succcm and satistaction ot tho past year,
encourage the belief that firm and mild con
trol, with assiduity, will uiako tho School ben
oaeial to pupils and patrons.
W ALTER L. PRAY.
Wr» 15, JM§. xvim
THE WEEKLY CARTERSVLLE EXPRESS.
! J.H. White 4* Cos.
\Yholeaele anil Retail Dealer* in
Men arid Boys’
CLOTHING,
IDE-T-GOODS,
MATS, BOOTS ANN SHOES,
of all kinds,
WLieh wi 1 be SOLD
Lower
than ever offered in ATLANTA.
OUR STOCK IS LARGE.
and must be
SOLD.
Come One and All,
And give us a Call.
Small Profits and Quick Sales,
1 s au r motto.
WHITEMAiL STREET, ATLANTA, GA.
October 2f»th, 186fi.w3m
Li Very Stable
By
Jones * stocks,'
CARTERSVILLE, 6A-,
ARE. prepared, it all time*, to furnish the
traveling public with conreyani a through
toe country. Also to feed nud aheiter atnek
at raaaonabla rate* of board. Cur vehicle* and
• lock are kept iu good condition, Nov. li.
New Marble UTardh.
8. B- OATMAN,
For WILLIAM GRAY,
Importer and Dealer in Italian , Block•
addle, and White Rutland Statuary
MARB L E.
tWF are now receiving and _jp«v
hare iu .tore, a large aml igjApl
desirable stock of finishedpSjtwVfj j
and rough Marble, which 1
we oiler to the public on dis
the most rCUSOUfIbIC
"Owing lo Hie high price of itiarble at tit’s
tihie, niany persons are kept from purchasing. '
1 propose to reduce prices so that all ean buy. i
Mv facilities Jtve such for purchasing the nisi- ;
terial, that I will he satisfied with Striall profits ,
and quick sales —such is mv motto.
We are prepared to furnis.i in ihebest style, |
Monument#, cirved ami plain. Box Tombs,!
Tablets, carved and plain. Head-stones, Urns, j
"Vases, Ac,, and Furnishing Marble of all de
scriptions. I
With good and experienced workmen in all
departments of burin 1 *8, we hope to merit a
sh.re of pub ic p.tronsgc Designs of Monu- 1
ments and any other work iu Marble, furnish
ed gratis.
Orders solicited and promptly filled. Office
rad Yard adjoining Be lvue Hotel and oppo
ite Georgia Railroad Depot, ATLANTA, Ga.
Dec 6th, IBb6.
f. t J R3. cum 1
Dbalbrs Is
ENGLISH AND AMERICAN
Hardware Cutlery Gunn Pistols
—ALIo
Iron, Steel, Nails,
Bellows. Anvils, Vices,
Corn SheUbcs, Straw Cuttovs, Shovel*,
Plows; Hoes, Chains,
Locks, Hinges, Screws,
Hammers, Hatchets, Axes, Sec.
And all other goods usually kept in the H »rd
ware line. Also Agents for F.trrbanka Platform
aid Counter Scales, which w« will sell at Fac
tory prices, freight added. At iheir old stand.
Corner ol Peach Tree and Line Street;
Atlanta, Ga.
Os. Wv 0-A.tTT & CO.*
UNDERTAKERS.
A RE prepared to furnish Metal:c Burial
i\ Cases of all Sizes and of tho latest im
proved patterns. W* also manufacture, and
will keep constantly on hand, Wooden Co® o *,
of all descriptions, from the cheapest to the
finest RoscwooJ finish; We in end to furnish
Burial Case* an ’ Coftinscheaper than svor be
fore offered in Atlanta.
Order# bv letter or telegraph, giving site
wanted, will be erecuted by express. Persons
at a distance desiring th# disinterment and re
moval of friend#, will save time andexponee by
giving as their orders.
Undertakers wiil consult their interest by
calling upon us at our ware-rvoma, Peach-tre#
Street, opposite Wealey ChapH Church, At’an-
CM 19 sixmo
CARTERSVILLE GA. JANUARY 18, 1867.
B. V. JOHNSON,
i ICHnTOSpoint, o-^..
DRY-GOODS,
AND
COMMISSION MERCHANT)
Agent for Va. Salt Works,
and Land Plaster,
Highest market price paid far
DRIED FRUIT,
COTTON RAGS,
AND COTTON
m BAGGING AND ROPE,
and Revenue Tax paid on Cotton to those
wh«> wish te ship. Oct 3L ly
I HAVE my large Ware-House finisheJ.—
Parties wishing te store Cotton with mo
can do eo at the usual ware-house rates, All
cotton bought by me hereafter wi 1 be weigh
ed at my own ware-house, thereby avoiding
the disagreeable necessity of driving to the
Depot with cotton, E. V. JOHNSON.
Kingston, Nov. I
T. F. K. G.
McCAMY & CO,.
WHOLESALE AND RETAL
Dealers in
N
medicines,
paints, oils,
DYE - STUFF I, CLASS. PUTTY. &C„
Alabama Street, Atlanta, Ga.
Country erdere 9H«d promptly and at the lo
estprieat. FJets*cnptioit* carefully prepared
day and Might. thay X 2 3m
X An Act.
To incorporat# the Stockholder* of
the CartersYill# Si Van Wert Rail Road
Company.
Sec. Ist. —The (leiierdl Ascetlibly
of the Stale of Georgia do enact, that
J. J. Howard, Lewis Tumlin, Dr. S.
F* Stephens, John L. Rowland, N J. R.
Parrott, J. W. Curry, Win. T. Wof
ford and Win. T. Purge of Bartow ; J.
F. Dever and Seaborn Jones ot Polk,
and A. E. Marshall ol Monro'fe county
Georgia, and sucli Others as shall a?so*
ciate under said iiarrte, shall Be; and tire
hereby incorporated and made a body
politic w ith all the rights aild privileges
coittinon arid necessary to silch a cor.
poralion, under the name of the Carters
ville 4‘ Van Wert Rail Road Company.
Sec. 2nd.—Be it further enacted,
that said company be authorized lo j
build a Railway from Van Wert, in
Polk county, or its vicinity, to connect
with the Western Si Atlantic Rail Road
at Cartersvilie, Bartow County, with
the privilege of extending said road iu
asv • Easterly or W esterly direction;
charging upon every mile, when com
pleted, such amount for freight and pas
sengers as may be deemed expedient
•id just: Provided, that the freight so
allowed shall not exceed one cent per
hundred pounds per mule; and the tare
lor passengers shall uot exceed six
cents per utile ; and tor procuring stock
in the same, to open books and procure
subscriptions of stock at the rate of
twenty tie* dollars per share, at such
time, and place* as may be thought
proper to elect Presidents, Directors,
Agents and servants ; to money,
make contracts and hold real and per
sonal estate, to aud for the use of said
Road.
Sec. 3 - d. — Be it further enacted, that
in all cassti w tiers a question ol right of
way may arise, and tiie parties be tin"
| able to agree, the i>l»ertlF of the county
Hi #hich said land is Situatpd, snail
summon a jury of twelve jurors, Iree
holders ol said coumv who assess the
damages to be paid by said
for running said road lliro'iands oi any
citizen, saving to either party the risriil
j to appeal to the Superior Court under
lb* laws now in force regulating appeals
to that court, and in all such cases such
Jury shall in addition to the usual oath,
be severally sworn, in assessing dama
ges, to take into the account the en™
haneed vakie of the land frfcrin building
said rclad, passing through said land:
Provided. Mat in no case shall the right
ol way ernbrac* more than one hundred
feet iu width on each aids of the track
of said Road.
sac. 4th.—Be it furtherenaeted, that
the f? nperictewdan; the Western li
Atlantic Kail Roati be authorized snd
required, whenever the interest of his
Road allows it. to permit the cars ol
said W, <fc A. R. R. to be rnn on said
Cartersville Van Wert Rail Road foV
such reasonable compensatioft, a\Vil crir
tier such regulations as may be agreed
upon between the Superinletidauis of
the two Roatft.
Se.;. sth.—Be it further enacted, that
the corporators herein named shall be
rx-oflirio Directors of said Load for the
year 1867, and until new Directors are
elected.
SKt. oth.—Be it further "enacted, that
said corporation shall have full power
to pass all by-laws and regulations nee*
esa iry to carry out the object of their
'ihccporatiGn nut inrioiisistent with the
laws of the State of Georgia and the
United States.
Sec. 7th.—Be it further enietec), that
the capital stock of said Cartersville Si
Van Wert Rail Road Company shall
not exceed live hundred thousand dol
lars, with the privilege of increasing at
tlie rate of twenty five thousand dollars
per mile for every mile of increas# length
in Biid road.
Skc. Bth.—Be it further enacted, that
whereas, said Cartersville 4* Van Wert
Rail Road is a feeder to the W. Si. A.
li. K., thereby developing vast mineral
resources of the State and leading to . x *
tsnsive forests of pine which wiil lie ol
great service to the whole countVv'. —
The keeper of the Penitentiary be au
thorized ancl to detail from the
convicts and chain gang such a nihribef
of laborers to work on the grading of the
said Cartersville & Van Wert Rail Road
without any expense to the Stale for
their subsistence, clothing and custody :
Provided, l!\at nothing in this adl shall
be so construed as to impair, abridge
tVr conflict with any of the privileges or
Yight* graated to or contained in the
charted of the Dolk Slate Quarry Rail
Road Company o< this State.
A Tittle Story with a Moral.
“Corry O’Lanus,” tfie hdtriorous
correspondent of the Brooklyn Eagle,
is He foY the following “little
story,” illustrative of the deiiiands ol
the Radical party :
O'Blique thinks that if a man wants
everything the best way is to let him
have it, for then he will be satisfied and
won’t want anything eise.
Il the people ol the North will only
give the Radicals all the offices', "rind
ilie White people of the South will.graiU
negro suffrage, give up their lands and
{♦el-sriiial property and then come in
with rdpieS rotind tlieir decks and siih
mit to be hung w.thout ally botlier, we
shall have peace.
This reminds me of a little story.
It was about a mail in CouniUlgtit—
his name was O’Keegan. ,
He was a decent, ffuret; orderiyl
peaceable sort of a man, who believed
in a quiet life,
lie lived out of town and had to
travel a hit of lonely road with a bog
on one side and a woods on the other.
One day as lie was traveling home
all alone, and il was quite dark, the
moon hadn’t risen, and that part of Hie
country wasn’t lighted with gas in
those dtiyS, Wheri ttlio should step up
from behind a lamp post, hut s big
murtherin’ villain, with a shiilalah uir
der his arm.
“Good morning to you, Mr. O’Kee
gan,” says he, “an’ I’ll trouble ye for
the time of day.”
Mr. O'Keegan took out his watch to
answer the question, when the black”
guard grabs ft.
‘Ml’s a fine repeater ye liavS got, Mr.
O’Keegan,” says lie, “an’ it’s in danger
ye are of losing it ; so I’ll just take care
of it lor ye,” aud he stuffed il iu his
pocket.
Mr. O’Keegan sayst Id himself; says
he, “Better let him have the watch,
and he’ll he satisfied and go away.”
But he didn't.
‘•Mr. O’Keegan,” savs he, “may be
ye have some small change about ye,
that you’d he happy to lend me; and
you’ll Save me thb t frill file of going
through your pockets by shelling out.”
Thinks Mr. O’Keegan to himself,
“He only wants my money, and I’ll
let him have that rather than have ally
trouble with the felloe;”
So he shelled out and thought he
had satisfied the rapscallion, and was
going off quite peaceably'.
“Whist, Mr. O’Keegan,” says lie,
“yon have a mighty fine coat that ud
just fit me, and I’ll trouble you for it.”
Mr. O’Keegan thought it wasn’t
worth while to fight about a coat, so
he pnlls il off’, and the other chap puts
il on, anil Mr. O'Keegan thought he
wds going to gel hriirie ai last id his
shirt sieeves.
Bui the rapacious cuss wasn’t satis
tied yet.
“It’s bad the coat looks without the
waistcoet, Mr. O'Keegan,” says he,
“and it ye’d he after letting rue have
that garment peaceably, it would save
a rrmiiudefstanding between ui.”
Mr. O’Keegan helijved in conces
sion, so he peeled again, though he
began to shiver, and thought it was cold
comfort to be a Christairt under such
circumstances.
But the chap hadn’t done with him
yet.
i “ft's your Voot* I want mw,” says
lie.
'Mr. O’Keegan began to ihink that
ths chap was a little t,uo radical, hut as
the chap insisted ifyal thte hoots were
an jndispensible concession, Mr O’Kee
gah. pulled them off, saying to himself
••he’s got everylhigg now, and I’ll’be
ofi.”
While the villain was putting on the
boots, Mr. O’Keegan wished him good
night and was trotting off, Wiled \ke
unreasonable omadhaun c«lis aftei him.
“Mr. O’Keegan,” said he, just stop
where you are. I have your watch
and your money, and your coat and
waistcoat, anti your boots, ant] l belaye
that’s all ye have afctdid that’s worth
taking’. But now ye’ll be alter going
*to the magistrates and telling yer story
and sending the peelers alter me, and
trying to get yodr property hack and
‘dV'e hanged'. To save ye all that trou
ble I’ll just knock, ye on the beat! and
make ye a comfortable bed it: tiie bog,
and cover ye up, so that nobody will
disturb ye. If ye’ve a mind to confess
your sins before ye \ale Vet- nap i'll
give ve jist two minutes by y«r own
watch.”
Now Mr. O’Keegan began to think
that virtue of concession had its limits,
and that it was time to take a bland in
defense of conservative principles.
I|is eyes were opened.
fie was aroused, and instead of say
ing his prayers lie squared «fl and
pitched into the unconscionable scamp,
and being some on his muscle when
his dander was up, he the
blackguard out of time in the lirst
round, recovered his property and
handed the chap over to the first po*
liceman who came along,
“Bedad,” said Mr. “if I
had only done that in the first place I’d
liaVe saved mvself a dale of trouble and
a bad t.b\Vld ; ”
I think we had better fi&lit it out on
the first issue.
Determined to Ule.
In the little town of Dover, which is
situated on the Cumberland Biver, in
Middle Tennessee, there lived, some
years ago, ait eccentric and intemper
ate old bachelor, by the name of Kings •
ton. On one occasion, when prostrat
ed on his bed by excess, and suffering
actually troin those stings alii! hbWbr*
peculiar to his situation he sent for one
of his old boon companions to come
and visit him. Shvraek, tor that was
tfie other’s name, came duly to
Kingston’s room.
“What’s the matter. Kingston?”
shut the door.”
‘•Yes, my dear fellolV.’*
“Lock it.”
“Eh?”
“Lock the door”
“Certainly, my dear hoy.”
“Shyraek, I’m going td (t ill sy^e!f.”
“My dear fellow, let me entreat you
not to do it.”
-I will.”
“Don’t; it’ll be the death of you.”
Shyraek was quite cool iind jocose,
little dreaming that so terrible an event
was going to take place.
Kingston hail, as the latl.t eccentric
act of his life, taken a thisel atid mallet
to bed with him, and now, with des
perate resolve, he seized the extraor
dinary tools of death, and in an instant
drove the blade of the chisel into his
breast.
The hair rose upon Shyrack’s head,
and fright spread like a sheat of snow
oter II I face.
••Kingston! Kingston! my dear fel
low—-yiUi d—d rascal, Kingston! do
yoil want to have me hung? Hold:
don’t die till l call somebody !”
Shyraek ran to the door and called
like a madman to some people across
the street,
“llallow ! hpre! say, you mister! all
you stupid people, make haste over
llery, or there'll be a murder !”
'1 he people cfowdsd inlb Kingston’s
house.
“Don’t die, Kirigstoti ! don’t chisel
me that way. Don’t die till you tell
them who did it.”
“1 did it myself,” Kingston articu
lated.”
••There, that’ll dr.; now. my dear
fellow* you may die,” replied Shyraek,
taking a long breath and wiping the
perspiration lfo»h his Ibfelieau.
And Kirgston did die in that fcxthr
ordinary wav, as a suicide that was
almost a murder.
A Hint to Touchy People.—“l
learned a good lesson when 1 was a
little girl,” says a lady. One frosty
morning 1 was looking out ot the win
dow into my lather’s farm yard, where
stoui* many cows, oxen and horses,
wailing to drink. The cattle all stood
very sti*l and week, till one of the
cows, in attempting to turn round, hap
pened to hit her next neighbor, where
upon the neighbor kicked and hit an
other. In live min dies the whole heard
were kicking each other *ith great
fury. My mother laughed and said,
‘See what comes of kicking when you
are hit.* Just so ; I have seen one
cross word set a whole family by the
ears,’ on n frosty morning. Altefwafd,
if my brother, or myself were a little
irritable, she would say, ‘Take care,
mv children; remember how the light
in the farm yard began. Never return
a kick for a hit, and you will save
yeur*clve6 a great deal of trouble.”
NO. 28.
A GOOD STORY.
Avery eminent lawyer in Ne,w. York
receiving a ‘tevere reprimand from a
witness on the stand, whom lie wss
trying to brow-beat. It was an impor
tant issue, end in order to save his
cause from defeat, it was necessary
that Mr. A. should impeach the wit*,
ness, lie endeavored to do it on the
.of age. The following dialogue
ensued . « ,
Lawyer—How old are you?
Witness—Seventy-tws years.
Lawyer—Your memory, of course,
is not so brilliant and, vivid as it was
twenty years ago, is it?
Witness--! do not know but is.
Lawyer-—some circumstances
that occurred, say some Vrwelve years
ago, and we shall be able to see now
well you can rtiVieYhbe’r., _ ~
Witness—l appeal to your honor if
I am to be interrogated in this manner
it is insolent.
Judge—-Yes, sir, state it. _ ■
~, V> fiiit ss-r-Wt li, sir, if you compel
me to doit 1 will. About t*cl ve years
ago you studied in Judge B’s office, did
you not ?
Lawyer—Y‘'S.
W imes?—-Well, siV. t rciherfeber yoij
father corning into my office and says
iug to me: Mr. i)., my son t<j he
examined to-morrow, anif I, wish you
would lend me sls to buy him a suit
of clothes.” I remember, also, sir that
iroin that day logins, he has never paid
me that sum. That, sir, I remember,
as though it had been byt ,y* , «\ejrtlaV.
Lawyer—(Coil Jiderably abashed,)
That will do, sir.
Witness —I presume it will!
*•* •
Gossip Wills C'ontrJbltora.
N’onotis will betook—from this date
hereafterwards—ov letters that haiu’l
got a postage statpp opto them.
Don y write only on one side or
mannsiviipt, and don’t write much onto
that.
Don’t send a mamiskript unless you
can read it yourself, after it gits dry.
We pay, all the wav up hill, from
ten cents to one dollar, for contribu*
stains, nckordintr tew heft.
A til settlement made promptly at the
end of the next ensuein? year.
?V>Kry ItVJ pVoie pieces respectively
serlieijed. ,
The highest market price paid for
a win! raloroud sinashys, and elopements
w ith another mat) ’s wife.
No swearing is allowed in our paper.
la-rnc. Yonr article on “Irogs” ik
received.
it made melaiTlike lighting.
\ our idee “that frog* might be iti*>
creased by propagetion” is bully,.
Your ide* “that frog* waz diskpyrr
btl by .Lhrislopiier Columbus the
year 1492” had slipped mi menioijy.
You also say “that frogs grow riiobe
bobtailed as they grow older.” Thi*
iz too cussed good lo lost.
Noah. —We very humbiv decline
your essa oil the flood.
Yuro remarks might possibly lead
one rtlot-e ill an to think az you do, and
we don’t want our collums held re
sponsibel for increasing the number of
phools.
The world hat already got more
phools then there is any need of.
Thare aim no doubt in tii uilud but
that the flood was a perf’eckt suece**j
and I have thought that another just
such an one would pay well now iii
sum sektioris ov the country.
Josh Hillix«*l
\ « •
Smart Old Lady — A Sandwich cor
respondent Bay* :
Having «ern several article* in the
newspaper* lately, telling of sm,nrt old
lajlie*, I will just inform you of odk
with vVfiohi fam well acquainted.—
Sl* his, during the past fifteen month*;
•pun 550 skeins of yarn,' knit jOjiair*
of men’s footings, 4 pairs of gentji’
gloves, 4 pairs ol ladies" hose, 2 pair*
of ladies’ socks, and 5 pair* of uijller.a.
She i* in h*r •eventy-lburih year, ar
has not seen the sun nor the “human
face divine” for the last twenty-live
years. She exemplifies the truth of
the saying, “where there’s a will there’s
a wav- V , I his lady is .now u resident
of It blfeborotigh.— Newt.
Josir Bh.uso's Lectcrk ts Wini.
isoton.— He“openeo” by going thru*
several amusing contortyonai and gyra
tions, inch as rolling up his sir ewes,
coughing, fixing his color,',and twirling
his inofiltaHie, which fairly brought
down the house. The • foiio.wiiiy
some of the lecturer’s best p-rims ;
“Bravery is a good thjnir, i/m pulling
a thorn out of a mule’*, .bind leg and
trying «o dodge the Jfirk is too much.
He believed in ordjiiijfion, but lew men
were ordained to i( jje honest. The
largest share of jtha fust edition of
honest pien is siiJJ in the hand* of th«
publisher. Ilyw.ii fond of strut gy—
it was handy.' A friend of HfS—n
colonel in the,army—tried stfafegv bv
endeavoring to reduce a swamp by
catching the billfous fever oiu ol it.
Women should be educated,' bet those
who were best educated worked better
in single harne*?. Itiehe* are pood,
but limy won’t render us re*peetabla
any more than the king’s evil will
make us renotfr; «d.— C'hfitniche.