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THE EVOLUTION OF A “STEADY.”
BEGINNING OF AN AFFAIR OF SENfIfIENT.
BY H. J. O'HIGGINS.
A March wind rattled the skeleton
branches of the trees in New York's
Central Park, and an April sun bright
ened the unshaded lawns beneath them,
so that the air was at once ‘warm and
cold. A couple walking down the mall
remarked this phenomenon. He lik
ened the weather to a mixed drink
and she encouraged him with a pretty
show of teeth.
"Blowin’ itself,” he said of the wind
that tugged at her Sunday skirt, toss
ing the feathers in her hat and blow
ing wisps of her disordered hair about
her face.
She put them back with: ‘‘lt'll blow
me to bits.”
‘‘Come an' see the circus,” he sug
gested, meaning the menagerie. ‘‘The
monkey house —we'll be in out of the
wind there.”
‘‘All right,” she agreed. “They’re
cunnin’, ain’t they?—the monkeys.”
“Sure,” he nodded. “Are yeh cold?”
looking at her with more admiration
than solicitude. It was plain that he
spoke only as an excuse for that look.
"Cold?” she laughed. “Are you?
Put on yer coat, w'y dop't yeh? Aw,
do.”
The coat hung on his arm. He pro
tested that he was not cold; he had
only thought that she might be so.
“Aw, put it on,” she urged.
Now, no man of any spirit will put
on his overcoat in such a case. That
would be to acknowledge either that he
had not sense enough to know when he
was cold, or wisdom enough to put on
the coat, knowing it.
J ‘Say,'’ he said, "w’at’s the use of me
puttin’ on the coat w’en I don’t want
it?”
“Yeh might put it on w’en I ask yell,”
she pouted.
"Aw, say," he appealed to her.
"Well,” she defended herself, "yeh
never do w’at I ask yeh.’’
The defense was lame, inasmuch as
they had met only three times as yet,
and she had never asked him to do
anything for her before. However, he
saw that this affair promised trouble,
and "Gee!" he said, “I ain’t goin’ teh
scrap about it,” thrusting an arm into
a sleeve of his coat.
She turned to him. all smiles. “Yeh
needn’t put it on, if yeh don't want
it,” she said.
“Sure, I don’t want it,” he said. “I
tol’ yeh that.”
She took the coat from him, and
folded it over his arm. “Silly,” she
laughed, squeezing his hand.
He grinned at once. “All right, all
right,” he said. “As long’s you’re
happy."
' She took his arm with an air of own
ership, and they turned down the path
toward the menagerie. On ordinary
days she was a factory girl and he a
bricklayer, but this was a spring Sun
day afternoon, and they were a pair
for the poets. Several hundred other
couple.s on the crowded walk were in
the same happy condition, but planets
revolving in common space could not
be at further cry from one another.
Each'pair was the centre of its own
solar system, with the other worlds
circling about in outer darkness.
Therefore, these two went arm in
arm with Coney Island frankness, as
if they were the sole inhabitants of a
new Garden of Eden. They were just
on the pleasant verge of an intimacy
which each, unknown to the other,
very much desired. He turned greedily
to her, and she to him, to hear the
lightest word. They impeded the mid
stream of promenaders while he turned
up the collar of her jacket. When he
guided her around a corner, helped her
up a step, or passed her through the
crowd before him he reached a protect
ive arm about her waist and let it re
main long after these slight excuses
for its presence there had passed. He
wore his hat jauntily on one side of
his head, and he tried to be witty be
yond telling.
"We’ll getta peanutty fer de monk,”
he said, swinging her around to a ven
dor of nuts and candies. “How mucha?
Fiva centa? Sure,” and paid out the
coin like a man of money. He put the
bag of peanuts in the coat pocket that
was nearest her, and invited her to
help herself —which she did. Neces
sarily, his hand met hers sometimes in
the pocket, and held it there until the
difficulties of making a passage
through the crowd parted them again.
He chaffed her delicately because she
ate so many nuts. “Here,” he said,
“yeh’ll make yerself sick. You ain’t
the monkey I got them fer.”
She smiled gayly, winking a happy
ye at him as she broke a shell be
tween her small white teeth. It is cer
tain that he looked longingly at the
lips that parted to show those teeth.
"Are yeh tryin’ teh make a monkey
of me?” she asked.
This overwhelmingly witty retort,
coming so unexpectedly, jolted him
into a loud laugh. He choked and
coughed. She giggled. They stood for
a moment, helpless with laughter, and
even after they had sobered sufficient
ly tc walk together again, he replied
to her inward convulsions with deep
chuckles of the throat.
He was proud of her. Ordinarily,
the lady in these affairs does nothing
but giggle and again giggle, giggling in
sipid admiration of the camel who sets
a heavy footed wit capering for her
amusement. Here was a girl who
smiled and answered back. He thought
upon it deeply, chuckling over it and
saying nothing. She understood that
he approved of her retort and she could
not help but try the point of it in mem
ory again and giggle.
She put her hand in his pocket and
he trapped it, smiling down on her
with anew feeling of sympathy. She
answered his look with its fellow,
pleased with the compliment of his
laughter.
They went down the walk so, to the
tiger s cage, where a crowd had gath
ered to watch the small boys in the
front row r who were teasing the big
brute with sticks and nutshells. The
couple elbowed a way into the press
of people and were crashed together in
it. He had an excuse for putting an
arm around her.
“There’s Tammany fer yeh,” he said
of the tiger. “Hello, Dick.”
“He’ll get out,” she was afraid.
"Not on yer life,” he reassured her.
The tiger beat the floor of the cage
with its tail, opened its pink jaws and
yawned a melancholy roar. She pre
tended to be mightily frightened,
caught at his free hand and was imme
diately wrapped more tightly in his
protecting arm.
“Say,” he chuckled, “yeh’ro not
scared, are yeh?”
“Well, w’y don’t they leave the poor
thing alone?” she said. “It might
break those little bars.”
He made no answer, having his arms
and mind full of other Jiings. She felt
quiet, too, and they stood gazing,
speechlessly contented, at nothing at
all. The boys poked sticks between
the bars, and the tiger roared dismal-
ly; but these two did not heed it. They
were in a stupid daze of happiness, the
usual condition of Central Park lovers,
who will sit, so, on a bench for hours
together without speaking. A police
man finally stirred on the stagnant
stream of sightseers again with his
“Keep movin’, there; keep movin’,
now.” and they were elbowed out of
their stupor.
“He keeps movin’,” he said, resent
fully.
She busied herself with a peanut,
doubtful whether she had not given
him too much encouragement, whether
he had not been simply amusing him
self with her.
They drifted down to the cage where
the eagles and the buzzards were shut
up together. There had been trouble
among the birds, and they were sulk
ing in all corners of the cage.
“ook as If they’d been three years
married,” she said.
He regarded her doubtfully. He
would have liked to reply to her sar
casm. but marriage was an awful sub
ject to discuss in such circumstances.
He held his breath at thought of it,
and fell back on the peanuts. She not
ed his silence.
When they came to the ostriches he
said “Rubber neck,” and they both
laughed as heartily as if the ostriches
had not heard that same remark from
every wit who had passed that day.
“Gee,” he said of the rhinoceros,
“I'm glad I ain’t got an upper lip like
that to shave,” and she was hysterical
again.
He grew bolder, and when she called
to the deer with a hissing noise of the
lips, he said: “Yeh’re scared to do
that teh me.”
This sounded too flippant. She
turned on him quickly. “But you ain’t
a deer,” she said snappishily.
He w’as flatly crestfallen. She blew
hot and cold in a breath. Why did
she speak to him like that? He had
been only joking.
He followed her in a sulk. She
watched him from the corner of an
eye. going over the evidence she had
accumulated in the process of emotion
al vivisection which she had been prac
tising on him. It amounted to this:
That he would put on his overcoat to
please her, even when he did not need
it: that he looked at her with a full
eye of admiration: that he avoided a
cheap discussion of marriage; that she
should change him from the highest
of good spirits to the lowest of bad,
without a word.
This promised something serious.
She slipped her hand into his pocket
for a nut again. He did not follow it.
“Yeh’re mad,” she said.
“No, I ain’t” he contradicted sullen
ly.
“Yes, yeh are,” she repeated with
great cheerfulness. “An’ I wouldn't be
so silly if I was you.”
“But yeh’re not me.” he retorted.
“Yes, yeh are,” she said irrelevantly.
“Who is? • • * W’hat?” he
frowned.
“What I said yeh wasn’t,” she said
slyly, biting a peanut.
That bewildered him. “Eh?” he que
ried, puzzling over it.
“Would yeh rather be one of them?”
she asked, taking his arm again, and
nodding at the bears.
“A bear?” he smiled. “W”at’d I
want teh be a bear fer?”
“I dunno.” she said, “w’t did yeh
want teh be a bear fer?”
He grinned. “I wasn’t, was I?” he
said, rather proud of it
“Yep,” she nodded. “Come on, now,
an* give peanuts to th’ other bear.”
He went jauntily up to Bruin, and
fed peanuts to it in the most daring
manner. He put a hand almost within
reach of its claws, and even ventured
to lay a nut fearlessly on the back of
the huge paw that was thrust through
the bars to him. She drew back on his
arm. “Don’t, don’t,” she whispered,
“he’ll scratch yeh. Aw, Jim, don't.”
“That's all right,” he said bravely,
picking out another nut.
She drew him away. “Now, yeh
mustn’t,” she said. “Come on, an’ sit
down here.
He was withdrawn from his foolhar-
THE WEEKLY NEWS, CARTERSVILLE, GA.
| diness with reluctance. “That was
all right,” he said. “I wouldn't let him
| get me.”
“Sit down,” she said. "I'm tired,”
| seating herself on a public bench.
He was all anxiety in a moment.
“Here,” he said, putting his arm
i around her shoulders, “lean back now.”
She laid her head on his arm, and
looked up at him with a comfortable
smile. “Don’t yeh want ter put on yer
coat?” she asked.
“Not except yer want me ter,” he
said.
She reached out for his other hand
at this whole-souled surrender. And
they sat there, hand in hand, his arm
about her neck, his free hand lovingly
fingering her ear, looking unutterable
tenderness at close range into each
others’ faces. A number of the pass
ers-by turned to stare at them, but
they did not mind it. She had tacitly
accepted him as her “steady,” and he
knew it. The world might go hang.—
New York Commercial Advertiser.
CARRIER PICEONS IN WAR.
Successful Experiments wit li Hie Birds by
the French Army and Navy.
The French army has interested it
self of late in the question of using
carrier or homing pigeons on recon
noissance duty with very satisfactory
results. In the experiments the pig
eons assigned to the patrols are car
ried in baskets on the backs of the cav
alrymen, as the infantryman carries
his knapsack. Inside the basket are
tubes made of wickerwork lined with
horse hair paddings, in which the pig
eons are placed. It was found that
without the tubes a long trot would
render the birds unfit for service, and
when the tubes were made of tin the
back of the bird was seriously chafed.
The tube makes the bird hold his wings
and feet close to his body. Of course,
after long confinement in this cramped
position he gets very stiff, to avoid
which a bag of light open-mesh mate
rial is carried along in the basket in
which the bird is placed at night, and
whenever the column halts or rests.
The bag is also used when giving the
animals food and drink. In this way
they may be kept in good condition for
at least a week.
The pigeons used in this work are
taken from any available army station
and placed before the ride in the port
able pigeon houses or in a special
wagon skilfully arranged to prevent
the birds from experiencing any shocks
or concussions on the road. The birds
arc trained to return to their own port
able houses, even though the latter
may have changed location since they
left it.
The messages sent by the patrols are
tied to one of the tail feathers. Twelve
men are detailed in the army each year
to learn the methods for training car
rier pigeons in all their details.
During the last fleet maneuvers on
the west coast of France 114 pigeons
were let loose from the Iphigenie at
7.30 a. m. and by 9 a. m. all but two
had arrived at their home station in
Rennes, and these two arrived later.
Sixty-four pigeons were released on
the cruiser Bruix and all arrived safely
at their destination. The thunder of
the guns did not affect the pigeons in
the least, showing that they can be
used in the midst of an action.
GUAINT AND CURIOUS.
The largest horned beetle can carr>
315 times his own weight. One has
been known to walk away with a 2 1-4-
pound weight.
A machine that washes and dries
8000 dishes an hour has been invented,
and it is guaranteed that plates, cups,
saucers and other dishes come out of
the wash without a scratch.
The canal boat industry of middle
England seems to have been relegated
to the women. Nearly 30,000 of them
spend their lifetime in driving the
teams that haul the boats and in steer
ing the boats themselves.
While a large oak was being sawed
into lumber at L. C. Beem’s mill, at
Richwood, 0„ the other day, the cir
cular saw struck an obstruction in the
log which completely wrecked the saw
and endangered the lives of the work
men. The log was chopped apart, and
almost in its heart was found the steel
head of an ax, which must have been
broken off there at least 30 years ago,
as Indicated by that number of con
centric rings surrounding it as a cen
tre.
A well known scientific professor of
Oxford used to stimulate his pupils
to collect biological anecdotes for him;
but he gave it up ever after the day
when one bold undergraduate ventured
to assert, “Sir, I know a man whose
sister has a tame jellyfish, which she
has taught to sit up and beg.” A
friend of the Inquirer, who has a rep
utation for liberality, asserts that jel
lyfishes “who have learned to sit up
and beg” are not uncommon.
The amount of light that can be ob
tained from fire flies is not generally
known. These insects have two bright
spots on their thorax and also brilliant
wings on the abdomen, and give light
sufficient to enable one to read at a
little distance. Two or three placed
in the centre of a room will shed a
soft light all over it. They are very
common in Havana, Brazil. Guiana,
Venezuela and Mexico. In those coun
tries at night the natives affix the
little creatures to their shoes, and thus
obtain light to see the road and frigh
ten away tnc snakes. Mexican women
use them as jewels. They tie them in
little gauze bags and put them in their
hair or on their clothing. They keep
them in wire cages and feed them on
scraps of sugar cane.
' WHEN SLEEP COMES NOT
ALL RULES AND ADVICE OFTEN
TIMES PROVE UNAVAILING.
It Is Kasy to Sav “Don’t Worry” but
Not So Very Kasy to t arry Out The
Seven Old 'lime I.uies of Sleep and
the Sheep That Jump Over the Fence.
If there is anything most irritating
to a worried and troubled spirit it is
the calm advice that slips smoothly
from the tongue of the untroubled.
“Don’t worry,” and “Take it easy” be
come mere insults when there is no
way of taking it easy and plenty of
cause for worry, and it is really a very
amiable person who doesn’t resent
them. It is also a very amiable person
who feels no fierce rage against the
sheep jumping over a fence that some
one has told her to count when court
ing sleep. As the long, weary hours
slip by and the distant hum of the
streets sinks to its lowest ebb and
every one else in the house goes on
sleeping more or less noisily, those
sheep are only so many more incen
tives to brain activity, and by the time
several hundred have leaped over the
visionary barrier it is time to change
the treatment and recall other sure
methods for curing sleeplessness.
The best way to cure the evil, ac
cording to an old authority, is to pre
vent by observing seven very simple
rules. A good bed; sufficient exercise
to produce weariness, and pleasant oc
cupation; good air and not too warm a
room; freedom from too much care;
a clear stomach; a clear conscience;
avoidance of stimulants and narcotics
—there are the only requisites, and the
only wonder is that any one ever suf
fers from a white night after reading
them. But a second reading shows that
the old authority was but another of
those wily advisers who transported
the don’t worry doctrine into different
words. How is the person of many,
many cares going to get that freedom
from too much care? Pleasant occu
pation doesn’t always come at will. A
clear conscience is sometimes an af
terthought. But on all these points
and their bearing on sleeplessness the
old authority is stupidly silent, though
verbose enough on the blessings of
sleep and the evils of the lack thereof.
You may look him full in the page and
demand what he means by a sure way
to cure insomnia, but he only smiles
hack blandly. “Don’t worry,” and you
know just about as much as you did
before.
Sleep is commonplace, but it is nev
ertheless interesting. When we go to
sleep the first muscles to become re
laxed are those that move the arms
and legs, taking precedence on this
point of the muscles which maintain
the body in an erect position. Sleep,
of course, may occur in a sitting posi
tion or even while standing, but still
the recumbent position has much to do
with it. Sleep is generally sounder
with a low pillow than with a high one
and therefore a state of wakefulness
at night may be overcome in some de
gree by lowering the head till it is on a
level with the rest of the body.
Of the senses, that of sight is the
first lost when sinking into slumber,
the eyelids forming a barrier between
the retina and the outside world.
Even, however, if for any reason the
eyelids did not close, as from disease
or because they had been removed, the
sense of sight would still be the first
to become dead to the world. Some
animals do not close their eyes when
asleep. The other senses disappear in
the order of taste, smell, hearing and
touch. It follows, therefore, that one
is most easily weakened by the sense of
touch; next in order by sounds and so
on back through the list. Sleep ob
tained two hours before midnight,
when the negative forces are in opera
tion, gives the rest which most re
freshes the system. It is not the best
plan to sleep mainly on the back, but
it is well to try various positions, and
sleep occasionally on the left side and
occasionally on the right. The right
side is the better of the two to lie
upon, as it leaves the action of the
heart quite free. Really, though, the
body may be relied upon to select its
own position.
Sleep will cure many things. The
lack of it is almost certain to cause
leanness, while sound slumber will re
lieve anything, from a headache to an
all-consuming sorrow. It will do much
toward curing dyspepsia, particularly
that kind known as nervous dyspepsia.
It will cure neuralgia. It will cure an
irritable temper—for a time. It is a
prime necessity, without which we
would suffer speedy dissolution.
Granted all these points, how is sleep
to be obtained at will? Is the eter
nal question. How in spite of a great
sorrow, or of neuralgia, may that de
licious moment be hastened when “a
gentle failing of the perceptions comes
slowly creeping over us; the conscious
ness disengages itself more and more
with slow and hushing degrees, like a
fond mother detaching her hand from
that of her sleeping child; the mind
seems to have a balmy lid closed,
closed together, and the mysterious
spirit of sleep has gone to take its airy
round? Well, there are ways and w r ays.
In Blinn’s “Anatomy of Sleep: or the
Art of Procuring Sound and Refresh
ing Slumber at Will,” published in
London in 1842, the principal feature
■was that the sufferer from insomnia
should fix his attention on his own
breathing. “He must depict to him
self that he sees the breath passing
from his nostrils in a continuous
stream, and the very instant that he
brings his mind to conceive this apart
from all other ideas consciousness and
memory depart.” Of course, that is
only another variation of the sheep
and-fence idea, but with some persons
it is likely to be more efficacious.
Nervous persons are most likely to
be troubled with wakefulness and gen
erally they are troubled at the same
time with too much blood in the brain
and with cold extremities. If they will
rise and get a fairly new crash towel
that has not become smooth with wear
and with it chafe the body and the ex
tremities, the excessive amount of
blood will be withdrawn from the
brain and sleep may follow. Again it
may not. A cold bath, or a sponge
bath and rubbing, or a rapid walk in
the open air will aid in equalizing cir
culation and promoting sleep. “Go up
and down stairs a few times before re
tiring,” advises some one with his
mind evidently upon the privileges of
the flathouse dweller. A warm bath
at night will sometimes bring sleep, al
though the frequent use of this cure
is not to be encouraged, since warm
baths taken frequently produce debil
ity. Another plan, particularly good
in cases of over excitement of the
brain, is that of applying a wet towel
to the back of the neck, fastening a dry
towel over it, to prevent too rapid ex
halation. Cold water is usually chos
en, though warm water may be used.
When sleepless on account of the heat,
try the effect of warm water upon the
feet. It will aften give the required
relief that ends in sleep.
Counting one, two, three and so on
is an old and tried method of induc
ing forgetfulness. If you can count in
any but your native tongue so much
the better, for you are likely to pay
more strict attention to the foreign nu
merals. You must combine your count
ing with your breathing to make it of
any value. With each long and regu
lar breath dole out one of your num
bers, and if you are not too cumbered
with care you may fall asleep before
you have reached the round hundred.
Again, a thought by its very immensity
may bring sleep. Instead of pinning
your attention down to one strict line
of thought, try thinking of anything,
something that is both simple and
vast. The very idea of the ocean or of
the sky may swallow up the little per
plexities that cause wakefulness.
There are some natural perversities
about sleep. When there is every rea
son for watchfulness and wakefulness,
then It Is prone to come, uninvited.
When there is every reason why it
would be more than ordinarily wel
come, it stands afar off. It never seems
so persistent in forcing its presence as
when the alarm clock sounds and it is
time to rise. On holidays and Sundays,
when there is time for an extra snooze,
it smilingly departs before dawn.
There is one thing upon which author
ities agree, and that is that one should
sleep until he naturally wakes. —New
York Sun.
AMERICA’S LARCEST WATER-WORKS.
Boston to Poftfieftft the Greatest Reservoir
in the World.
“Operations are in progress today
near Boston which will ultimately
give to that city the proud distinction
of possessing he greatest reservoir of
pure drinking water in the world.
“Moreover, when present plans have
been realized, Boston can safely claim
that she has accomplished more, has
looked further into the future, and
has had a stronger regard for the
health and welfare of her citizens than
any other city, either in this country
or abroad. These are strong words,
but they are amply borne out by facts,
“Few people, even those in and
about Boston, realize the enormous ex
tent of the new waterworks system
inaugurated in 1895, and now well on
toward completion. They know that a
law was passed five years ago, placing
the existing system in the hands of a
commission called the Metropolitan
water board, and that something is
being done to bring water from the
vicinity of Clinton, Mass., but the true
condition of affairs is practically un
known. It will surprise even those
who should be personally interested to
learn that within half a decade, the
greatest reservoir ever built will be in
operation within 32 miles cf Boston.
“It will be even a greater surprise
for them to learn that, when the sys
tem now under construction is finish
ed, not only Boston, but also the cities
of Chelsea, Everett, Malden, Medford,
Newton and Somerville and the towns
of Belmont, Hyde Park, Melrose, Re
vere, Watertown and Winthrop, con
stituting what is known as the Met
ropolitan water district, will be kept
amply supplied with water, notwith
standing the natural increase in popu
lation, until 1950. It is this half-cen
tury step into the future that will give
Boston the well-earned reputation of
providing for her people according to
their honest needs and their deserts.
“The magnitude of the new water
works system is impressive. It will
include, as stated before, the largest
reservoir for notable water in the
world, a great aqueduct and a system
of distribution, constructed on modern
principles. To prove the gigantic na
ture of the reservoir, it is only neces
sary to state that its capacity will
reach the enormous extent of 63,008,-
000,000 gallons, or almost twice as
much as the new Croton Reservoir
near New York City. The building of
this reservoir means the flooding of a
valley 32 miles from Boston, the com
plete or partial submersion of two
thriving towns, and the changing of a
well-known railway’s right of way
through the valley. The increased
supply of water to be derived by the
Metropolitan district will be better un
derstood when it is known that this
new Weehusett reservoir will have
more than four times the capacity of
all the existing Boston water works
reservoirs combined.” —H. H. Lewis,
in Ainslee’s.
When a young man follows his girl
to the kitchen when she goes out to
prepare supper, that is one sign of an
engagement that is genuine.
TO PRUF, WITH ViCLETo.
I hose flowt from a s-innor, sweet.
To go to church with you;
li<‘ would not dare to enter there,
But if his name comes in your prayer
I reliance they’ll hear it, Prue.
But let them breathe the. message first
He charged them bear to you
So sweet n thing in* dare not bring
II is rude lips to its whispering;
Perchance they’ll teli you, Prue.
Harper s Bazar.
HUMOROUS.
He—Let us get married and live in u
flat. She—Are you serious, or just a
flatterer?
Blobbs —Bjones rules his household
with a rod of iron. Slobbs—Yes; over
the cook is afraid of him.
Property Owner—l have all my
houses rented except one. Prospective
Tenant —Ah last, DUt not leased.
Sillicus—A girl seldom marries her
ideal. Cynicus—No; she usually mar
ries some other girl’s ideal, just out of
spite.
Wigwag—Hello! Harduppe. Raising
a beard, eh? Harduppe—Yes; it’s eas
ier than raising the price of a shave
every day.
Guest —Say, why do you call that
thin bellboy buttons? Clerk —Because
he is falling off every day, and there
is so much brass about bim.
•Mrs. Buggins—The cook has asked
for higher wages just because I asked
her to do the baking. Mr. Buggins—
Well, I suppose you’ll have to give it
to her if she needs the dough.
Business Man —What is your name,
sir? Applicant—Thomas .T. J. J. Jones.
“What does the ‘J. J. J.’ stand for?”
“Nothing. The man who stood for me
when I was christened stuttered.”
Tatterdan Torne —I seen a lady dis
mornin’ w’at must ’a’ took me fur a
mermaid. Wragson Tatters —Dat so?
Tatterdan Torne —Y'ep. She asked me
if I didn’t feel’s if I w'anted a bath.
Visitor —Is the puzzle editor in? Of
fice Boy—We ain't got no reg’lar puzzle
editor, but you might see that bald
headed man over in the corner. He’s
tryin’ to figger out just where we stand
on de baseball situation.
“Good morning, Mr. Black,” said the
affable man. “But I am not Mr. Black.
My name is White,” replied the oAer.
“Of course, of course,” said the affable
man. “I trust you will pardon my
mistake. Y'ou see, I am a trifle color
blind.”
“How is the table here? Good?” in
quired the new boarder. “Really, I
don’t know,” replied the other. “1
thought you had been here some time.”
"So I have, but I’ve never seen enough
on the table to test it thoroughly.
However, I never heard it groan.”
A Oliineac* Motlifr-in-Faw Story.
"The Experiences of a British Phar
macist in China” was the title of an
address by Mr. Frank Browne, who
w’as introduced as the government
analyst at Hong Kong.
As illustrating the Chinese regard
for filial piety, the lecturer told an in
teresting mother-in-law story. A man
and his wife maltreated the husband’s
mother. Asa punishment the scene
of the act was openly cursed, the ac
tive agents were put to death and the
mother of the wife was bambooed,
branded and exiled for her daughter's
crime. The house in w’hich the offen
ders lived was dug up from the foun
dations. Moreover, the scholars of the
district were precluded from attending
public examinations, and even the
magistrates were deprived of their of
fice. These drastic measures were de
signed to render the empire filial.” —
London News.
first Appearance of XVire Nalls.
When wire nails first made their ap
pearance they were bought only by
furniture manufacturers and makers
of cigar boxes. They were put in
packages of from one to five pounds,
and when an order for 25 pounds for
any one size came in. it vms consid
ered a big cne. At first, from 15 to
20 cents per pound was paid for wire
nails, and 29 cents per pound for wire
cigar box nails. The makers did not
clear as much profit, even at these
figures, as might be supposed, as they
were compelled to buy their iron wire
at 50 percent off list —at that time
10 cents per pound for No. nine’ etc.,
and while the production was of ne
cessity small and limited, the expenses
of introducing the new article were
quite large.—Hardware Dealers’ Maga
zine.
Marquis of Hnte’s Generosity,
Few people have known anything
about one instance of generosity on
the part of he late Marquis of Bute.
He it was who purchased the remains
of the historic chapel raised at Ros
coff, in Britanny, and dedicated to St.
Ninian by Mary Queen of Scots as
commemorative of her first landing,
in 1548, on the shores of France, to
be affianced to the Dauphin. The
marquis was only just in time, for the
municipal council coveted the spot, in
order to build a school upon the site.
He not only rescued the ancient chap
el—he presented to the town a plot
of ground for the school.
Famous Father* Fond of Foil*.
One of the most characteristic
things in the relationship of Justin
McCarthy and his son, Justin Hunt
ly McCarthy, is their very strong af
fection for each other, an affection
that has its parallel in the cases of Mr.
Chamberlain and Austen Chamberlain
and of Sir William Harcourt and his
son and private secretary, “Lulu” Har
court. Mr. McCarthy and his son used
to occupy seats at opposite ends of
the same bench in the House. Their
method of communication, which was
frequent, was by nods and signs.