Newspaper Page Text
It is noticed that every year will have
a nine in it until the year 2000.
In the guillotine process of execution
the knife docs not fall with a dull, sick
ening thud; it “crushes with a sicken
ing, grating noise.”
Hie New York Herald says that moro
men in this country have gotten rich out
of making soap and glue than by any
other process.
The Boston Herald advises New York
to wait and see how the Australian sys
tem of balloting works in Massachusetts
before adopting it.
The Coal Trade Jaurn, i rays the out
put of coal during the pa It year has been
greater than ever before. The price rea
lized lias maintained a better average,
though not a high one, and the producer,
wholesaler and retailer have made very
handsome profits.
Arthur II. Rowe, of Gloucester, Mass.,
has the record of having stopped sixty
runaway teams on land and saved many
lives in his life-boat at sea.
The New York Herald is trying to se
cure libel laws in every state that will
exempt an editor from responsibility
when matter over which he has no con
trol slips into his paper.
Tu looking over the list of the distin
guished dead of the past year, it is ob
served by the Atlanta Constitution that
almost every eminent name given earned
a substantial life insurance.
Another expedition is being fitted out
to go to Belize, Central America, and re
cover the §1,500,000 in gold alleged tc
have been buried there by pirates in the
thirties. And this despite tho unsuccess
ful voyage of the ill-fated yacht Maria
on a similar errand in the winter of
18S7-8S.
The last Chicago Grand Jury mads s
report to Judge Jamieson in which they
recommend that the names of th«
“boodle” commissioners, contractors and
squealers be erased from all public insti
tutions of tho county and that tho word
“boodler” be cut into the marble in the
same kind of letters.
CANAL BOAT LIFE.
Scenes at the Hibernacle of Arti
ficial Waterway Navigators.
Tho Canallor’s Mode of Life
While In Winter Quarters.
Oue of the largest private land-hold
ings in the world is the Ilaggin & Carr
ranch, in California. It contains 400,-
000 acres, covers 640 square miles, and
is over twenty-five miles square.
Brad-street's gives an interesting table
of the residences in various cities, from
which it appears that Philadelphia has
more houses than any other American
city—the number being estimated at
146,412, against 110,775 eight years
ago. New York is second, with 73,684,
an increase of 18,511 since 1880. Then,
in order, comes Chicago with 61,870,
Brooklyn with 59,203, Baltimore with
50,820, Boston with 43,941.
The Cleveland Plain Dealer says that
several million dollars have been sunk in
the attempt to make the toboggan slide
a success in the United States. Tho
climb back up the slope is too much.
The Omaha Indians are raising funds
to build a church and school house near
Bancroft, Neb. An Indian is certainly
civilized, alleges the Chicago Herald,
when he has learned to solicit subscrip
tions for church building like white men.
A French army officer who lost heavily
at Monte Carlo threatened to blow out
his brains unless tlie money were re
turned. The members forming the coun
cil of the Casino, after deliberation, de
cided to return the money, a large por
tion of which belonged to his regiment,
the officer in turn agreeing to repay the
Casino in instalments. Tlie military
authorities hearing of the affair promptly
ordered the offender to Tonquin.
“The South,” the Baltimore Manufac
turers’ Record declares, “is every year
shipping less and less of its cotton away
to be manufactured elsewhere. The tex
tile industry is moving South. Where
the cotton grows there it will be manu-
> factored.”
Nineteen railways were sold out in
pursuance of bankruptcy proceedings
last year. In the last thirteen years, ac
cording to the statistics of the Bailroad
Age, 423 companies, with 43,770 miles
of line, representing more than $2,500,-
000,000 of securities, have travelled the
same road.
There are many stories of brave cap
tains who stood by tlioir ships until the
last of the crew aud passengers were in
the boats. That was a heroine greater
than all—the bride of Captain
Loueorseu, of the Norwegian bark Kate
Kearney, who was taking a honeymoon
trip in her husband's vessel when it was
wrecked. She refused to leave tho dis
abled vessel until tho last boat was
launched, aud she and her husband were
the last to leave the Kearney. This
brave girl was an American, and as gritty
as American girls generally are.
Ye
The securities “listed” by the New
York Stock Exchange in the year 18S8
furnish the largest total of that kind on
record. In all, bonds of par value of
$511,000,000, were added to the lists of
the exchange, and $248,000,000 of
stocks passed the scrutiny of the Com
mittee on Securities. Deducting old is
sues newly listed, or securities which re
place old stocks and bonds, the new is
sues admitted were $261,000,000 bonds
and $62,000,000 stocks. In 18S7 the
bonds amounted to $180,000,000, and
the stocks to $98,000,000.
New Yorkers like big figuros. Ilere
arc some that are worth considering.
The city’s real estate is worth about $2,-
200,000,000. In 1805 it was worth but
$25,500,000, so that in 84 years it has
increased in value nearly 9® times. In
1825 it was worth $101,000,000—a
four-fold increase in 20 years. In 1850
it had mounted to $286,000,000, show-
a slowing down in tho rate of in
crease, and in 1860 it had only
mounted to $398,000,000. But between
1860 and 1870 it had nearly doubled. It
stood in the latter year at $742,000,000.
In 1S80 it was $1,000,000,000. Real
estate is good property.
A New York man claims that he has
eaten 113 quails in 41 days, and
anxious to eat 4 quails a day for 30, 60,
or 90 days, against any man in the world
for $1000 a side. The quail delusion
appears to have been effectually exploded.
A Chicago woman, the Herald of that
city says, recently ate 30 quails in 30
days, aud concluded the “match” with
remarking that she could have gone on
eating a quail a day indefinitely. A
quail a day for 30 days, which was once
regarded as a remarkable feat, is no trick
at all now, and the limit must be raised
or the quail-eating contest will lose all
popular interest.
The commercial agency reports show
last year to have been not exceptionally
prosperous iu this country, but a marked
improvement over 1S87. Tlie actual
number of failures was larger by nearly
nine hundred, aud the gross amount of
the assets smaller by two-and-a-half
three million dollars; but, what is more
to the point, the total liabilities were
less by at least ten million, and tlie pro
portion of assets to liabilities greater by
some three per cent. Indeed, remarks
the Washington Star, measured by the
losses suffered by investors in mercantile
enterprises, 18SS may be said to show a
better record than any year since 1885.
Tlie business of the country in general
seems to be on the up grade again.
Says the New York Times: “Gov
ernor Beaver of Pennsylvania wisely de
voted a part of his recent messago to tho
Legislature of that state, to a subject of
public importance in which thero are no
polities, lie quotes the old saying that
‘the history of civilization is the history
of roads,’ and adds that if this bo true,
Pennsylvania cannot claim to have at
tained the highest rank in civilization
‘The time has come,’ the Governor says,
‘when it will be economy in every way to
build our roads permanently and sub
stantially. The comfort of our people,
economy in the transportation of our
products, saving in the wear and tear of
vehicles and animals, and the needless
multiplication of highways, all demand
that the laws governing the laying out
and construction of our roads should be
adically reformed and systematized.’
Expensive Love Letters.
The Buffalo man who won a sweet girl
by writing numerous love letters to her
five dollar bills has started a fashion
that will make courting harder than ever,
Not only will the dear creatures refuso to
return such missives in case of
quarrel, but they will-insist on bills of
larger denomination being used- The
world will seem but a dreary plaoo to
man who bus been using live dollar bills
as stationery for his love letters, when he
gets a note like this from tlio adored ob
ject: “Another young gentleman
writing to me oil ten dollar bills. Unless
rou employ twenty dollar bills, all Is over
between us.”—New York I'ribune.
“Yes sirec, navigation ’a shot uptight
an’jammed; tlier’ won’t be ary a boat
through tlie canal till May er later.”
The speaker was captain, mate,bo’sun,
carpenter aud oue-tliird of the crew be
longing to a big, wall-sided, wliito-
painted canal boat that lay iu the old
Morris Canal Basin at tho foot of Hen
derson street, Jersey City. For nearly a
quarter of a mile in either direction
stretched the vista of canal boats that
had tied up for the winter. To the un
initiated they all seemed of one size and
shape, but the t.rus canaller is as proud
of his boat’s lines aud individual identi
ty as any yachtsman afloat, and to mis
take one canal boat for another is to
make enemies of both captains. But at
this time of year they merge professional
jealousies into the effort for general com
fort. End to end and side to side lie hun
dreds of canal bruts, the inner ones, or
those nearest the shore or dock, afford
ing, by means of a long plank placed
from rail to rail amidships, access to the
land for those who are on the edges of
the peaceful fleet. But woe betide the
luckless canaller, who, without formal
and loud-voiced invitation, ventures to
depart from this plank and set foot upon
the deck proper of the boat he is crossing
on his way to shore. That law is irre
vocable and none are liardy enough to at
tempt defiance. “Ef we want ycr we’ll
call yer,” is the rule ns expressed by the
authorities, and it is dominant.
From the middle of December until
May or later” these boats lie torpid as
far as commerce is concerned. They
athcr in several places around New
ork. Some iu the Erie Basin at South
Brooklyn, some at Fourteenth street,
Hoboken, a few at Cocnties Slip, New
York, and the rest at tlie Morris Canal
usin, or as it is now called tho Jersey
Central Basin, despite tho fact that it is
controlled by the Lehigh Valley Rail
road. This latter basin has been used by
Gie canal boats ever since war times, but
when tho Lehigh road obtained control
they cleared out every canal boat and
lighter. For a time they kept away,
but tho railroad, finding that they could
not utilize the basin to any better ad
vantage, renewed tho ancient permission,
and tho boats flocked back to their old
quarters. More than half of them are in
habited by captains and their families,
and as a result the big fleet is a little
city in itself. Although thero are no
back fences over which to exchange gos
sip and gather food for criticism of
neighboring habits, tho worthy wives
find it just as easy to talk over the gun
wales of their respective abodes, and so
far as overlooking the actions of the
neighboring family is concerned, the ab
sence of fence or wall is a boon instead
of a deprivation.
When a boat comes in for the season
she is given a berth, made fast securely,
and then all hands turn to house clean
ing, which, in opposition to the general
rule, is done in the winter instead of the
spring. The men wash out and thor
ouglily ventilate the hold, while the
women clean and scour tlie cabin and its
appurtenances. Stores for the winter are
brought aboard and the family settle
down to their hibernation. If there are
children they are sent to one of the three
schools near by in Jersey City, for the
canaller is too true an American to lose
an opportunity for educating his young
ones.
From a financial point of view the
business is not very remunerative. If
the captain is also the owner he may, by
careful management and good luck,
make $800 a year above expenses. If
he is an employe ho receives $5 a day for
his services, out of which amount he
must pay his crew and all his expenses
save horse hire, stabling and blacksmith
work. That is done by the owner.
During the war and before tho railroads
so thoroughly covered New York State,
it was not at all difficult for a canal boat
captain to make a thousand dollars- in a
run, which occupies about twenty days,
providing, of course, that he owned his
boat. But times have very much changed
und thero is not neatly enough work for
the number of boats afloat which is get
ting fewer every year.—New York
Graphic.
A Youthful Hoad Walter.
Springfield, Mo., makes boast of hav
ing the youngest head waiter in tha
country,., and tho boast is probably well
founded. Travellers who put up at tin
Ozark House for the first time frequentlj
stop to stare in amazement' when, on en
tering the dining room, they see a hand
some, light-haired, blue-eyed boy stand
ing near the centre of the room ready to
place them at a table. It is a dignified
youngster, dressed in long trousers, a
closely buttoned sack coat, and wearing
a stand-up collar of the latest style. A
single bright-colored flower of some sort
is always pinned to his coat lapel. As
each guest enters the lad bows politely,
draws a chair from a table aud assists the
guests to sit down with ns much ease and
graco as one can find anywhere. If not
hurried by a rash of guests he places tho
bill of fare by the plate and pours a glass
of water. Then one of the seven young
women waiters in the room is directed
with a bow to take the order.
All through the meal he has a keen
eye for everything in the room. No
guest need drum on a glass (a common
Missouri hotel habit) to attract a waiter
here. The lad sees that something is
.wanted about as quick as the want is de
veloped und if the waiter does not see it
nlso a wave of tlie band or a bow attracts
her attention. Tho look in the lad’s faoe
when lie thinks a waiter somewhat too
attentive to any guest is comically severe
but effective iu recalling the young
woman to her duty.
The name of the young man is Louis
Leysalit, Jr. Ilis father is master me
chanic of the ’Frisco line machine shops
at this place. The boy is 14 years old.
He began work at tlie Ozark two years
ago as bell boy. Then he entered the
dining room to assist the head waiter.
Two months ago he had developed so
much tact in the management of the
room that he supplanted his chief. Tho
dining room lias eleven tables in it and
thirty-six guests are often seated at them
at once. Louis gets $15 a month and
board for his services.—[New York Sun.
The Sweetest Eyes.
Which are the sweetest eyes to you?
The brown, where fire and languor meet*
The sunny, laughing eyes of blue,
Or black, with glances shy and fleet?
Or opaline, with changeful hue,
Or grey, where mind with beauty vies,
Or violet, so soft and true—
Tell me, which ore the sweetest eyes?
My darling bent her sunny head,
Her radiant face seemed half diving
“The swootest eyes to me,” I said,
“Are those that look with love, in mine
—M. A. Denison in AmericdB
HUMOROUS.
Men of all types—Compositors.
Darkness that is felt—Derby hats.
Safety matches—Prudent marriages.
The most systematic of all systems
the nervous system.
A horse is unlike a man in one respect,
at least—he doesn’t like to be backed up.
The slim courtier of a yonng woman,
like Dan Cupid’s weapons, is a beau and
a narrow.
“Close tlie front door so as to keep
out drafts,” said the bothered banker to
his cashier.
When a public officeholder comes to
feel that he is a big guu it is time for
him to be fired.
“The churn must go,” says an agri
cultural exchange. Of course it must, in
order that the butter may come.
We see that they have succeeded in
photographing a yellow-fever germ. It
is to be hoped that it looked pleasant.
“Be sunny, girls, be sunny," says
Ella Wheeler Wilcox. We don’t
see^hpw they can, but still they daughter
be.'
A Parrot Story.
A well known New Yorker has had an
adventure which discounts by 10,999 the
average conventional parrot story. He
was fond of knocking about in out-of-
the-way quarters of the world, and left
ship on the Central American coast with
a party of comrades to explore the wil
derness. During the cruiso of several
months the entiro ship’s company—a
merry crew—had devoted their odd
hours in singing to a parrot. Tho sail
ors had lost no opportunities, and taught
the bird all the seafaring lingo, and a
few more or less elegant expletives be
sides. When the exploring party had
bidden the bird and the sailors good-bye
they plunged into the heart of the
tropical forest. After 28 miles of mortal
effort they reached their camping place
for the night. Just as the sun was going
down they were startled to hear in the
primeval silence a familiar voice calling
down from the top of a tall palm,
“Avast there! Yo, heave liol” It was
the ship’s parrot. But before they could
recover their startled senses the faithful
bird, having flown ahead to prepare this
unexpected treat for its chums of the
voyage, fluttered down to the top of a
dead stump near by, and with a shrill
call summoned thousands of tho little
green paroquets of tho country.
It is said that 11,000 of them
were counted, as they circled around the
great gray African oracle on the stump,
and finally took their places on the
ground row after row. The explorers
looked on in dumb amusement. When the
feathered assemblage became quiet the
ship's parrot burst into words of a famil
iar song and to the inextinquishable laugh
ter of the travellers, the consternation of
the rest of the tropical world and the
delight of the festive precentor the whole
of the 11,000 paroquets, with one
mighty burst of song, broke into “Nancy
Lee.”—New York Graphic.
No one has ever yet been able to ex
plain why a kiss is such a pleasant thing,
but the subject is being constantly inves
tigated.
Artificial eggs are manufactured in a
Pennsylvania town. The inventor
probably wanted to help the hens bear
their yolk.
Ladies may not know how to sharpen
a lead pencil, but they have a wonderful
knack of bringing to the point the fel
lows who can.
Tlie Mare Island Navy-Yard is to be
put in commission for repairing steel
ships. It will be a good place for drill
ing horse marines. <
A man that marries a widow is bound
to give up smoking and chewing. If she
gives up her weeds for him, he should
give up the weed for her.
It is not always tho man who looks
the wisest who knows the most, but
most people don’t know this, so that it
will pay you to look just as wise as you
possibly can.
“Mr. Browne,” said the milkman,
“you sent me the wrong check. This is
drawn to the order of the Board of
Water Commissioners.” “Why, so it is,”
replied Mr. Browne, and then he added:
“Natural mistake, though, Mr. Pump—•
very."
1
A call to anus—a wail from a baby at
2 a. m.
The Czar’s Dazzling Palace.
Tsarkoo Seloc, the Russian Czar’s
palace near St. Petersburg, stands in
grounds eighteen miles in circumference.
In the palace there is a room known ns
the lapis-lazuli room, the floor of which
is ebony inlaid with mother-of-pearl.
There is also an amber room, tlie walls
of which are of the finest amber picked
out in a multitude of exquisite designs.
Tlie walls of the palace throughout are
hung with tho rarest tapestry and silk
curtuins. The Imnqueting-hall is the.
chief attraction of the palace. Its walls
are covered with gold, and its ceiling is
dazzling with the samo precious metal.
Statistics of Glucose Manufacture.
The manufacture of “com starch
sugar” or “starch sugar,” or “glucose,”
is just now attracting much attention.
A Russian chemist discovered in 1811
that by boiliDg with diluted sulphuric
acid, starch was converted into sugar.
On Aug. 1, 1880, 10 glucose factories
were iu operation in the United States,
consuming daily about 20,000 bushels of
corn. It has been estimated that in
May, 1881, the total consumption of corn
in sugar making was about 35,000 bush
els daily. The factories are so arranged
that corn may be converted into starch
or sugar according to the demands of tho
market. It was estimated that 11,000,-
000 bushels corn would be used in these ^
factories in 1881, and doubled in 18S2.
—[Picayune.
/;
Good Cause for Silence.
Miss Baglcy—You are very silent, Mr*
Ponsonby.
Ponsonby—Ya-ns. I make it a point
nevah to speak unless I get an ideah.
Miss Bagley (archly)—Ah I now 1 f
know why you so seldom speak. *
The Small Brother Agnin.
“Do tell me about it, Miss Clara,”
said Snippy, eagerly: “I am all cars.”
“Huhl” said Clara’s little brother;
“that’s a chestnut. Clara told ma you
werjMill ears last night. I heard her.”—-
[Bazar.
Impertinence.
“What time docs tlie next train leave?”
“Where are you going?”
“None of your business, you inquisi-
live thing.”
