W. E NABP, FiUiihir.
TI’OICS OF THE DAY.
Cetkwayo is to visit England in the
Who will mourn for the plumber—
perhaps not one.
Carl Schurz is lecturing on Civil
> St. Gothakd’s Tunnel was completed
;on the 23d of December.
I Better to predict and miss than never
'to predict at all. — Vennor.
“Gail Hamilton” will spend the
winter with Mrs. Blaine in Washington.
A newspaper published at Tin Gup,
Kansas, is called the Garfield, Banner.
It seems that the public generally in
England are disgusted with the Guiteau
Shctleb Colfax asserts there is noth
ing that would induce him to return to
Strange as it may seem, the country
is full of people who are seeking for the
autograph of Guiteau.
Prices are keeping right up, and
the farmer who happens to have a full
granery, should be happy.
As a weather prophet, Vennor has
lost his prestige, now anil forever more.
We swear by him no longer.
The Italian Senate has adopted a bill
which confers the light of suffrage on
all who can read and write.
Queen Victoria requests the London
Standard to deny the statement that she
will open Parliament in person.
Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes, like
Mr. Whittier, pleads inability to write
poems to order. Growing old, you
The London Times says the Guiteau
trial is unprecedented. We are pretty
sure it is, so, far as this country is con
It is not known how near the North
Pole the Jeannette reached. The de
tails of the expedition are awaited with
some anxiety. I
Strangely Guiteau has not yet in
sulted any of the jury on his case, but
his whack at them will come when they
bring in their verdict.
United Ireland, a newspaper, is now
printed in London, all the material of
the concern having been shipped there
from Ireland the past week.
An eminent physician says high-heeled
shoes cause the calf of the leg to dwin
dle away to the leanness of decrepit
age and become a thin, shapeless shank.
In a fiftv-mile bicycle contest in New
York the past week, George Gideon was
the only person who completed the dis
tance. Time, 3 hours, 13 minutes and
A saloon-keeper in Brooklyn has
been sued by a Methodist minister be
cause the minister's son loafed about the
saloon, and he was thereby deprived of
The meats in a gallon of oysters
should weigh eight and three-quarter
pounds, and a gallon of oysters that does
not weigh that much, has been stuffed
with water and is a swindle.
Henry Watterson, writing from
Washington, approves the course of
Judge Cox and Mr. Corkhill in giving
Guiteau all the rope he wants. It will
help to hang him.
r L he “ v shaped hull of the polar vessel
Jeannette did not save her from being
crushed by the ice ; but it is with a feel
ing of joy that we are able to chronicle
the safe return of a greater portion of
Timothy O. Hon r, of Wisconsin, the
new Postmaster General, is sixty-five
years old. He was at one time a United
States Senator, and at the Chicago Re
publican Convention, was one of the
Marriageable ladies seeking rauk
will please bear in mind that President
Arthur persistently denies the story
i current that he is about, to be married.
I There is nothing at all in it and his heart
is just as big as it ever was.
S’ Representative MoMiIIiAH has intro
duced a bill for the assessment and col
[Section of a three per centum tax from
smell person or corporation doing busi
ness in the United States or Territories
an all net incomes above 33,000.
v i Lady Land Leaguers in Ireland are
to be arregted, and for their reception, a
r special jail is being provided. This
tneans that, aecordingto all expectations,
there will be, for some time to conid.
ladies , . jail in Ireland for political
Several Cincinnati brewers, disgusted
with the way the weather has been act
ing, are putting in ice machines, and
will have ioe whether old Boreas wills it
or not. Hypothetically speaking, it doee
THE JACKSON NEWS.
look as if Satan and science were going
baud in hand.
The memory of Guiteau will be per
petuated by plaster casts, the product of
the sculptor Clark Mills, but who it is
that is anxious to adorn their mantel
pieces with copies of it would be hard to
say. Everyone has had about enough
of him already.
There are two Congressmen now
serving who commenced life as pages in
the National House, and a Senator whos
start in life was as a page in the Senate.
The Congressmen are Townsliend of Il
linois and Wise of Virginia. The Sena
tor is Gorman of Maryland.
Dr. H. G. Glenn, of California, has
put 30,000 acres in wheat, and expects
to sow 15,000 acres more. That is the
way they farm, where, when a young
married couple start out to milk, they
have so far to go and are gone so long
that their children bring the milk home.
Big farms out there.
The Detroit Free Press, a religious
paper, says: “In the last 100 years
over 4,000 people have been burned up
in theaters, and in the same time over
6,000 have perished in church acci
dents.” Where is tfie good of publish
ing such statistics ? It seems that there
is everything- to shake one’s faith.
We believe there is a general demand
for a fractional currency for convenience
in mailing purposes. Silver is out of the
question for this purpose, and postage
stamps are a nuisance to business houses
receiving small orders by mail. It is of
little importance what shape this small
currency is in, just so long as it will serve
the purpose in question. Congress
ought to make some provision at once.
The immigrants to this country dur
ing November were distributed among
the various nationalities thus ; England
and Wales, 5,823 ; Ireland, 3,284; Scot
land, 980 ; Austria, 1,454 ; Belgium,
59 ; Denmark, 314 ; France, 529 ; Ger
many, 18,900; Hungary, 593; Italy,
2,978 ; Netherlands, 358 ; Norway, 1,-
291; Poland, 223 ; Russia, 1,721 ; Swed
en, 2,870 ; Switzerland, 451; Dominion
of Canada, 8,807; China, 2,711 ; and
from all other countries, 228.
Senator Gall, of Florida, Senator
Jones, of Louisiana, and other Congress
men, have bought the -:>ld Whitehall’
gold mine, near the Wilderness battle
field, in Spottsylvania County, Virginia.
Gold was first found there in 1809. The
mine was worked by Commodore Stock
ton from 1848 until just before the war.
It has since been owned by Gilbert R.
Fox, of Pennsylvania. Nearly $2,000,-
000 worth of gold has been taken from
An exchange whose editor seems to
have had some experience, says: A
doctor will sit down and write prescrip
tion ; time, five minutes ; paper and ink.
one-fourth of a cent; and the patient
pays sl, $2, $5, $lO, as the case may be.
A lawyer writes ten or twelve lines of
ndvice, and gets from $lO to S2O from his
client. An editor writes a half-column
puff for a man, pays a man from fifty
cents to $1 for putting it iu type, prints
it on several dollars’ worth of paper,
sends it to several thousand people, and
then surprises the puffed man if he
makes any charge.
Allen G. Thurman is charged by the
Washington Critic, with producing a
panic in the Senate. It says : “ A
noise like unto a clap of thunder at sea
was heard. Davis, of West Virginia,
sprang to his feet in amazement; Hoar
trembled, Vest laughed. Beck looked
as though he had heard that noise before,
and turned toward the Democratic cloak
room and beheld Ex-Senator Allen G.
Thurman with his old bandana in one
hand and a good snuff box in the other.
Beck told Davis not to be alarmed; it was
nothing but Thurman blowing his nose.
And the Senate proceeded to business.”
Persons who have unlimited faith in
the predictions of Prof. Vennor, a so
called Canadian weather prognosticator,
will perhaps have that faith somewhat
shaken by the perusal of the following,
published three months ago in his
almanac for 1882 :
“ Dcoembfrr, 1881. —T hardly like the looks of
this month, viewed from the present etawl
poitit ("September 18). It looks ugly, and
smacks of cold— bitter, biting cold, north and
smith, east and west. The month bids fair to
he cold and dry rather than otherwise, and
this cold may be somewhat proportionate to
the heat of the past summer, and extend to
extreme Southern and Western points. The
entry of the month is likely to bring in winter
abruptly in most sections where winter is usu
ally expected or experienced. The first week
of the mouth will probably give the first good
snow falls of the season in New York/*
It doea not aeem that he hit it very
well that time. In his almanac for 1881,
for the same month, he said :
“The characteristics of December probably
will be those of the preceding two montbfc.
This I believe will be one of those Decembers
that will cause inquiries of the oldest inhabi
tant as to w hether there ever bad been such a
December before. In Canada flowers may bo
diecoreiod in bloom in op*n garden, and
plowing will be continued almost up to Christ
Now had Vinner transposed the order
of this, the hit would have been capital.
But then—he didn’t
Depend upon it, whatever may be the
mind of an old man, old ago is only re
ally happy wjjep, on feeling the enjoy
ments of this world pass away, it begins
to lay a stronger hold on those of anoth
er.— Daniel Webster,
JACKSON, GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 12,1882.
Pineapples arc grown at Walatka,
option is becoming popular in
Corinth, Miss., is showing an interest
in silk culture.
A sea-cow was recently seen in the bay
near St. Augustine.
Mississippi is displaying an unusual
interest in railroads.
Virginia now ranks eighth as a pro
ducer of iron ore. In 1870 she was
Twelve thousand barrels of rosin were
disposed of in one sale recently by a Sa
The Chief Justice of Alabama is a
printer by trade, and formerly worked
at the case at Athens.
The machinery to be used in improv
ing Apalachicola, (Fla.) harbor has ar
rived there and work will begin at once.
Col. J. S. Mosby, of Virginia, when
he returns from China, will marry a well
known society lady of Alexandria.
Stock raising in Texas offers greater
inducements to the capitalist than any
other business carried on in the coun
New Orleans property owners will
have to pay a tax of three per cent, to
meet the necessities of the city govern
ment next year.
Asbury Bush, a ferryman, shot and
killed a negro named Charlie Nixon, at
Warwick, Ga., for refusing to pay five
cents ferriage across the river.
Lucien Beard has been pardoned out
of the Virginia penitentiary at Rich-,
mond after having served eight of an
eighteen years’ sentence for horse steal
Five hundred inhabitants at Ozark,
Ala., and not a Smith in the directory.
Perhaps the old and well known Jones
family have kept them out with clubs.
Thomas Jefferson has been arrested at
Wilmington, South Carolina, for strik
ing Ben. Franklin with a rock and throw
ing sand into John Adams' eyes.
A large petition is being, gotten up in
Alabama, praying for the opening of
Coosa river to navigation, and beseech
ing that no delay be permitted.
The convicts in the Tennessee
tiary will issue an address to the people
of the State, soliciting funds to purchase
an organ for their benefit.
The Spite of West Virginia has no
indebtedness, the constitution of the
State forbidding the creation of any I a
bility hi the nature of a public debt.
Reports from Hoover Hill gold mine
in Randolph county, North Carolina,
still continue good. Since tlio rich
strike was made a few weeks ago, it is
estimated that the ore raised is worth
$50,000, and it still holds out with
splendid promise. This mine is owned
and operated by an English company.
Bibb county, Ala, has a curiosity in
the way of a stalk of ribbon cane. It
divides itself into two prongs near the
ground. Below the fork the stalk lias
double eyes. Above the fork, and in
cluding botii prongs, it is ten feet long
and has thirty-two joints.
Senator Brown, of Georgia, said in a
recent interview that he received no ed
ucation to speak of until be was of age,
At thirty-three he was elected to a
Judgeship, and at thirty-seven became
Governor. He is now, at sixty-eight, a
United States Senator.
Gainesville (Ga.) Southron: Gen.
Longstreet will ask the Legislature of
Tennessee and North Carolina to give
him charters for the extension of his
proposed road into their States. Gen.
Longstreet does not pretend that he can
build the road all by himself, but with
’proper encouragement can and will
Atlanta Constitution: Many farmers
say they will plant more corn next year.
These are not the intentions of spring.
When the present crop of cotton is safe
ly out of the hands of the producers,
prices will go up with a venomous
bounce, and then our gifted husband
men wiil plow up the corn they have
planted and proceed to scatter their cot
ton seed over the face of nature.
Natchez (Miss.) Democrat: Yester
day Mr. Jerome Converse shot and killed
an immense rattlesnake, which measured
eleven ; id a half feet in length and fif
teen inches in diameter. This monster
snake had nineteen rattles, and its upper
fangs were one inch long, and when shot
had a large rabbit in its mouth prepara
tory to swallowing it.
Mr. H. B. Evers, of England, repre
senting a I/onden syndicate, has recently
bought 676,000 acres c f land from the
State of Mississippi, lying principally
in the Yazoo delta, and for which he
has paid the State about £50,000. Mr.
Evers says that if the State will give
his syndicate aid they will in the next
four years bring to the State 160,000
English immigrants, 60,000 of whom
will lie voters a -oon a- naturalized.
Orange county, (Fla,,) Reporter:
Devoted fco (lie Interoat ol Jackson and Butts Countv.
Eleven yean ago, Dr. J. F. J, Mitchell,
of Lake Jessup, ate some Oranges and
planted the seed. The trees are now ten
years old This year eighty of the seed
ling trees from iftose seeds are bearing,
and last week die Doctor sold the fruit
from the eighty trees for $402. These
trees, as they are ordinarily planned,
would cover about one and one-third
acres of land—a yield of about SB4O per
aeve, which, for young grove, is not a
had showing by any means. The Doctor
has four young groves, and lie reports
his crop this ye,y- per cent, larger
than last year’s crop.
Deland, (Fla.,) Agriculturist: We re
gret to give very -vU.-uny prospects] fo
the orange cipp-’-nuiVh worse than w
gave some time ago. About two month
hack the fruit began splitting, and after
the rains commenced it became serious—
those oranges could not be shipped.
Within the past two or three weeks the
fruit is dropping off the trees before it is
ripe in alarming numbers. Not lifty
per cent, of the fruit will come to full
efecti on ; consequently a vast amount
of immatured fruit is being pushed into
Northern markets, ana yet bring good
prices. The small amount of real good
fruit left on the trees will give such re
turns that the orege growers never saw
Mr. J G. MeElloy, of Banks county
Ga., relates the following oceuranc
which happened ot his plantation, near
Harmony Grove, a few days ago: While
his three little l>oy> were standing in the
yard a large hawk swooped down and
flew away with a chicken in his talons.
Thebovs thinking that his majestv might
i/ \ i, . .
drop the chicken, followed him some dis
tance. when, to tkyir delight, they nw
him drop his prey As soon as this bap
pened the hawk commenced circling
arouud where the hoys and chicken were
congregated, and finally lighted on the
eldest boy, who ws ten years old, and
fastened one'taloi in the boys chin.
The second son went to the rescue, when
the hawk caught htoi in the arm with the
other talon, thu- lplding both the boys
at his mercy. life third and yougest,
seeing the perilou-Jo tuation of his broth
ers, drew his knifl ’it., to work and
succeeded "in ‘"'"i bis
brothers and killing or. both legs were
cut to the bone, just above the claw, be
fore the boys were released from tbeir
dangerous position. After his lordship
was dispatched lie was found to be a
large bird, and measured twenty fou
inches from stem to stern.
Didn’t Bin the Bet.
Two friends were discussing the mer
its of their acquaintances. Said one
of the gentlemen: “Talk about mean
men; now there’s old Strassherger.
He’s the hardest, driest, meanest old
Shylock that over lived. That man !
why 1” And there ho stopped, as if
words couldn’t do justice tc the subject.
“You’re mistake*,” said his friend.
“ He’s not so had; even the devil isu’t
so black as lie is painted. Now I’ll bet
you $lO I can borrow SSO of him before
“ Done 1” and ths money was put up.
On posted the sanguine book-maker to
Ids intended victim.
“ Strassherger, my boy, howare yon?”
and ho slapped lain on tlio back of a
faded ready-made coat with a capital as
sumption of good-fellowship.
“ Veil, I was all r-i-g-b-t. Vot’s do
madder mit you?”
“ Look here, old fellow, I nnulo a lit
tle bet about you just now, ha, ha ! It’s
a capital joke. ”
“ Urn 1” said Strassherger. “ Veil ?”
“Yos, I bet $lO with Smithy that I
could borrow SSO of you to-day.”
“ Feefty tollar!”
“Yes, that was the amount.”
“ Und you bet ton ?”
“That’s what I put up.”
“ Veil, now look here, my friend” (in
a low whisper) “ you go straight avay
Painting iru Roofs.
The best paint for Jin or iron is com
posed of pure linseed oil and earthy
ochres, red or yfelmw. The coarser
granulated powders are best as a pig
ment, ua they offer less air holes ami
give a firmer hold for tho oil on tho
grits and thus bund them to tho metal.
The oil in this manner gets close to the
metal and offers resistance to the air in
removing the atoms from its cohesion.
Beware of all metallic oxides or mineral
paints, especially on lofty towers or in
accessible coverings ol metal. Rooting
tin should, when laid, be kopt clean
from windfalls of dust, and painted
once iD every two or three years, by tho
day—never by contract. Metals applied
in the angles of roofs, as flashings,
where shingles aro laid behind parapet
walls, should he widl painted on both,
sides, and the exposed crevices between
the laps puttied ami painted, aud thus
cut off leaks in corners “ which no feller
can find out.” Woodwork should never
be allowed to close down on the metal,
but instead, a span.; of one or two inches
should always be left, so that paint can
be easily applied to all flashings on all
sides, and where t> .lust can be easily
swept out. Many troublesome leaks
occur from the base of balustrades shut
ting down so close that dirt, is complete
ly imprisoned, and, consequently, in
time decompose'ii sets in and the
metal coverings aro ruined. Bay win
dows, with balcoaias, or with other
ornaments, if put on with an idea of
permanency, should leave ample room
for the painters’ brmhes to reach every
angle, nook or comer, and thus save a
thousand leaks.— California Architect.
The departments at Washington em
ploy over 10,000 clerks.
Confederate Hond Text.
As considerable interest has been
aroused in regard to Confederate bonds,
and as the majority of people are un
acquainted with their terms, the follow
ing wording of a SI,OOO bond is given as
a matter of information :
“ No. 7,403. First Series.
“CONFEDERATE STATES OF AMERICA,
" Loan Authorized by Section 6 of February
17, 1864, Act of Congress.
“On ths first dy of July, 1864, the Con
federate States of America will pay So tho
bearer of this bond, at the scat of Government,
or at such place of deposit as may lie appointed
by the Secretary of the Treasury, the sum of
one thousand dollars, with interest thereon at
tho rate of six per cent, per annum, payable
semi-annually on tho first daya of January and
July in each year.
“The Confederate States have, by an act ap
proved February 1, 1864, enaoted that the
principal and iuteroet whereof shall bo free
from taxation, and for the payment of the in
terest thereon, the entire not receiptH of any
export duty hereafter laid on the value of all
cotton, tobacco, and naval stores, which shall
bo exported from the Confederate States,
and ths net proceeds of tho import duties now
laid on so much thereof as may he necessary to
pay annually tho interest, are horeby specially
pledged, provided that the duties now laid upon
imports, and hereby pledged, shall hereafter
be paid in specie or in sterling oxohange, or in
the coupons of said bonds.
“In witness whereof the register of the
treasury, in pursuance of the said act of Con
gress, bath hereunto sot his hand and affixed
tho seal of the treasury, at Richmond, this Ist
day of March, 1864. F. Ajtehbon,
“For register of the treasury.”
“Entered, R. 15. 8. Recorded, J, J. W. f ’
Ou the left of tho bond at a right
angle with the body ol tho bond aro the
words, "One thousand dollars,” and on
the right, “Six per oent. per annum.”
Attached to the bond aro sixty coupons,
payable every six months, from January
1, 1865, to July 1, 1894. The coupons
are as follows: “Loan under act of
February 17, 1864. The Confederate
Staton of Amorica will pay to heater
thirty dollars for six mouths’ interest,
due January 1, 1865, on bond 7,403, for
SI,OOO. 80. Tyler, Register,” except
the dates, which, of course, are all dif
ferent. beginning at January 1,1865, and
ending wiih July 1. 1894.
Jf boots squeak, there is no time when
they do it with such persistency and vigor
as on Sunday, when the owner is passing
up the church aisle to liia pew. And
tlio more carefully he goes and on tiptoe,
the noisier they are. The New York
Herald has entered into a campaign
against squeaky boots, and the result is
a number of communications suggesting
various remedies. “One who lias tried
it” and “Sympathy” agree that, the best
plan is to nave a shoemaker put some
powdered soap-stone between the outer
and inner soles However, this should
DO Itone I.SIUW UIC >. > ' mule,
the suggestion is worthless in the caso of
boots wliioh have already been ordered,
paid for, and entered upon their career
of squeakiness. “Envy” hits the case
of existing boots and shoes, with his
suggestion “to bore small holes, olio
inch apart and one-sixteenth of an inch
in depth, in the centre of the sole of
each shoe. Thou fill each hole with a
drop or two of sweet oil-and let it soak
well into the shoo before using. If the
shoe still squeaks repeat the remedy ; a
squeaky shoe always succumbs to the
second dose of sweet oil.” “B. ft. O.
gives the philosophy of the squeak, and
writes : “Squeaky shoes are caused by
the vacuum between the insole and the
outsole. Treading on the solo of a shoe
forces the air out of the vacuum, which
produces the sound we call squeak.
The proof of this is that a so-called
“turned shoe,” having no insole, forms
no vacuum, therefore does not squeak.
A piece of muslin or other bimilar
material, gummed on both gules, which
will adhere to the inner and outer sole,
thus filling the vacuum, will of necessity
prevent squeaking. This applies to shoes
in process of making. Now, as to tlioso
which are already made—three or four
pegs or brads driven in tho outsole, be
tween the shank and the toe, will close
tho vacuum and prevent the squeak.”
This latter suggestion appears to nave a
•pice of mischief in it. Unless great
care was exercised in inserting the peps,
the wearer would soon begin to wish
tliat he lmd the squeak back again. _____
They Will Sin No More.
An Eighteenth Ward baker, John 8.
Sapter, put up a job of exceeding cruelty
on the small boys who make life pleas
ant for tho residents in the vicinity of
Fullerton street and Broadway. Every
afternoon when (lie Imkor drew up at a
store, it was the reprehensible custom
of the wicked lads to mount the wagon
in the owner’s absence, and appropriate
whatever samples of pio aud ginger
snaps came in their way. One after a'win
four of the hoys were at there post
when tin: baker arrived. A half
dozen pieces were suspiciously easy
to get at, lmt the guileful “ kids ” had
no thought of wrong in others, and,
with many expressions of satisfaction,
fled t<> a contiguous ravine with the pro
vendor, and in a remarkably short space
of time had coiled round the indigesti
ble. Their sensation of repletion was
ail too brief. The baker had seasoned
his pastry with tartar emetic, arid the
only reason the young bandits retailed
than sfto s was because they were tied
on. Jhe agony ended at, last, and four
woe-begoae, pallid-faced small xnes,
with stomachs as empty as the promise
of a politician, bo. their hearts filled
with intentions of future honesty and
uprightness, crept ami tottered toward
their respective homes. Cleveland
lie Had Lett II is Card.
No matter how witty you may be,
someone is likely to be more witty still
and to turn your weapon against your
self. When two gentlemen fell out with
each other one of them went to the
other’s house, and in largo letters wrote
“scoundrel” on the front door. The
next day, when they met by accident,
number two said to number one:
“ How did you dare to call on mo,
yesterday, sir ?”
“ I did not call on yon and I never
will call on you,” was the bitter reply.
“Well, sir," continued number two,
“either you or one of your friends
called, for this morning, when I came
out of the house, I saw your name writ
ten an my door.”
Such a (Setting Up Stairs.
There is a man in the Sovonth Ward
that is probably the meanest man in this
country. Ho had rather play a joke ou
his family than to pay a note. Hia peo
ple, the xvomeu folks, are as afraid as
death ol' tire-arms, and when there was
so much talk about toy pistols killing
children, they worried their lives out
nearly, for fear the little five-year-old
would get hold of one of them and blow
a lot of his thumbs off. The family was
away for a week or two, leaving this
mean mau aud the little boy at home,
and from all reports the man and the
boy had a healthy old time. This mean
man is a groat sportsman, and lie lias a
neat little revolver that, he can kill a rat
with four times out of tivo. While tho
family was away lie got a lot of blank
cartridges for the revolver, and he and
the youug hopeful used to go down in
the basement and tire blank cartridges
at tho furnaee door. The little fellow
got so he could shoot blank cartridges
like a hero, and he promised not to tell
anybody that papa had been teaching
him to shoot, though he was as proud of
his proficiency as could be. The family
got back, aud one evening there were
two or three ladies in to spend the even
The party missed the mean mau and
the little boy. The ruoan man loaded
the revolver with blank cartridges and
told the little fellow they would have
some fun. lie fixod the little fellow up
like an Indian, and told him to take the
revolver and go in the sitting-room and
yell, “whoop,” and fire the wliote seven
cartridges. It was a piomo for the lit tle
fellow. He came up out of tho base
ment, opened the door and “ whooped,"
and began to fire. They were talking
about trimming night gowns, or some
such inuoeeut pastime, when tho firing
commenced. The mother of tho child
recognized him, and started to take tho
revolver away, but lie pointed at her and
fired a second shot and got behind a
locking chair and kept blazing away.
The mother thought she was kill*- 1 and
fell over a hassock and rolled under a
table. One of the lady callers got up
on a sofa and pulled up her skirls so if
there lia<l been bullets in the revolver
every one of them w ould have bit her.
Another got behind the stove and held
an evening paper up before her, and
they all yelled murder. The grandfather
was sowing carpet-rags, and at. tho first
fire be dropped a stitch and fell over a
cuspidore and began to say his prayers.
An old lady who had come in to borrow
some goose oil, run up stairs and got
into the bath-room and locked herself
iu. As the last Bliot was fired at the cat,
which was trying to got under the stove,
tlio moUM mill) came in, urA -n-Wiiig the
boy bwnutne said, “ HelkiShavingsome
iim the visitors, (and be coolly
took >..fe revolver and put it in his pocket
aud asked if any of them were hit. ’I” *
all said they were hit, and, do you know,
that mean man actually pretended he
thought they were wounded, and went
probing around for the bullets. Then
he told them it was only a lot of blank
cartridges, aud that he and tho boy had
been practicing for two weeks, aud then
the women went at him and camo near
pulling all tin. hair out of his head, be
cause be was mean enough to search
them for bullets. Some men, who have
never run for office even, are meaner
than Pnsley.— reek's Sun
“In the Trade.”
*.O called the salesman aside and asked
fqr tho proprietor. His general appear
ance -was hardly one calculated to in
crease ones faith in the business boom,
aud the salesman told him that tlio pro
prietor had gone East.
“ Well, perhaps you’ll do juntas well,”
wn the reply. “I’ve been in tho fur
niture .'trade myself, and would like to
talk confidentially about prices, -with a
view to purchase.”
The salesman ached to bet him a dol
lar that bo had never handled any tiling
more extravagant than a washboard,
but he remembered stories he had read
about millionaires in disguise and kept
“I’m solid as an Eastluke bedstead,”
the customer continued, “an’ want bot
tom prices. No veneer about me. You
sec by my talk tliat I understand the
biz. Oh, I’m rigid, there, any time o’
day. I’m a chamber suit painted to cor
respond with the carpet or the paper on
the wall 1 Sen? How much time do
you give on large orders?”
The salesman observed that they gave
all the time necessary to make out the
“But I’m in the trade. Jerusalem!
Can’t you make allowances for that ? I’m
clear quill, ail’ just from the dry kiln, mu’
don’t yon forget it. lain’tnothick-lippcd
son of an Egyptian carved on tho hack
of a sofa. I want livin’ prices an’ reason
The salesman repeated his remark
about the time given.
“Tlicn you’ll lose a mighty good cus
tomer, Mister," responded the individu
al. “ A genuine mahogany purchaser,
trimmed with raw silk and bended with
coin. 1 ain’t no extension table, to bo
pulled out and shoved in to suit the con
venience of mill who get rich out o my
trade. I ain’t no hat-rack to hang your
blasted mean suspicions ou. Ta ta..”
Ami the gentleman who belonged to
the trade and wanted special terms
passed out. In about five minutes tbo
salesman went out to mail a letter and
found him in a rival establishment, try
ing to trade a bushel of onions for a
pine washstand aud a dozou clothes pins.
It is well known that the very feeblest
electric current,-, produce audible sounds
in the telephone, which is more sensitive
to weak currents than tbo most delicate
galvanometer. M. I’elftt lately dedal< 1
that the heat necessary to warm a
1 ilogramine (two and a quarter pounds)
of water, one degree, if converted prop
erly into tin: energy of electric currents,
would sullicn to | reduce in a telephone
an audible sound for fen thousand years
“Oh yes,” said Mrs. Brown, as she
surveyed with evident pleasure the little
parlor sideboard, covered with old china
and decorated with highly-colorod tiles ;
“ Mr. B. remarked last night that 1 was
becoming quite an atheist,” and the old
tally’s countenance fairly beamed with
delight as her eyes rested on a 10-eent
Japanese tea-pot. —Newark Cult.
IEKBB: s!.*• par imam.
A Cornish Village.
On the summit of tho west bank it
touches the villago of Saltash, whioh is
built down tho liillsido to tho water’s
edge, and whioh is like most other fish
ing villages in Cornwall—clean, solidly
put together, unornamental, and a
w hitish-gray in color. The deficiency
of color is dispiriting to the artist who has
come from the contemplation of the
more opulent architecture of the Conti
nent. The cottages, one and two stories
high, of concrete, brick and stone,
with diamond-paned windows, -have
been designed to shelter without any
other idea than utility. Their white or
yellow walls seem to be vertical strata of
the indigenous rock of their foundation*.
The ensiles and the doom are painted
block, and the streets are made
of gray macadam. What littia
color there is gains brilliancy from
contrast with these quiet sur
romidings. The verdure is the
greenest, and the fuchsias blaze in relief.
Up on the hill, with a somewhat dis
orderly little grave-yard inclosing it, i
a serious-looking, square- towerc
church, like many others in Cornwall,
of gray sandstone, well worn by the
weather of centuries, which lias smoothed
all the edges. The church is nearly
seven hundred years old—the tower
oliler—aud whore time has made a gap
or a scam, tho “ restoration” has been
effected in tho most economical way,
The concroto used to fill in has include,
the fragments of the ruined part, and
bits of gargoyles and other carved word
are found imbedded in the plosterk
Look from tho houses to the people—
there is on infallible correspondence.
Tho men are brown nud strong, a little
sod, with largo frames, but uo spare
llosh ; and the women, wdio are grand at
tho oar, aro scarcely their inferiors in
physical proiiortions. They are frank
and independent in manner, gathering
tlioir living from the sea. There is little
vice among them—the smart dresses and
chubby faces of their children are cer
tain indications of ribmostio virtue; but
that Home of them fall to tho besetting
Hill of the English may lie inferred from
what we heard one of them say of
nneighbor: “Hi- wass as dliruuk ns
fourty muintops'l-sheet blocks.” — IF. If.
A Straight Man.
It used to be all the fashion with lec
turers to have the Mayor ot tho town or
some other prominent citizen introduce
them to the audience as a send off, aud
upon tho occasion in the years gone
by when the tomperane* lecturer struck
a certain town iu Michigan, not over
fifty nblou f-om Detroit, the Mayor stood
t>|A—<ve the audience and began:
‘ ‘ T judieft and—and—ladies and—and.”
“ Gentlemen,” whispered the lecturer.
“ Yes, of course—ladies and gentle
mon, 1. have the honor to introduce you
to the notorious—’m, the honorable—
the honorable mister —miator ”
Hero oeourrod another painful pause,
during which the Mayor walkod over aud
naked the lecturer his name.
“Simpkins.” was tho reply.
“ J have the honor to introduce,” he
repeated, as ho walked hack, “ the hon
orable Mistor—Mister—hang it I I never
could remember a name two minutes I
It’s of no account, however. Ho and I
: have been playing poker all tho after
i noon at tho hotel, and I give you my
word that ho is us straight as a ten-foot
pole. Get up, Judge, and shoot off
vonr lecture I”— Detroit Free, Press.
M. Grevuux, a French aaval surgeon,
has lately been exploring the northern
parts of South America, more especially
in the valley of the Orinoco and its afflu
ents. Among other facts of observation,
lim states that the Guaraunos, at tho
delta of that river, take refuge in tho
trees when the delta, is inundated. There
they make a sort of dwelling with
branches and clay. The women light,
on a small piece of floor, the fire needed
for cooking, and the travoler on the
river by night often boob with surprise
long rows of flumes at a considerable
height in the air. The Guaraunos dis
pose of their dead by hanging them in
hammocks in the tops of trees. Dr.
Crovaux, iu tho course of his travels,
nut with geophagons or earth-eating
tribes. The clay, which often serves
for their food whole months, seems to
he a mixture of oxide of iron and some
organic substances. They have recourse
to it more especially in times of scarcity;
but, strange to say, there are eager
gourmands for the substance, individ
uals in whom the depraved taste becomes
bo pronounced that they may be seen
tearing pieces of ferruginous clay from
huts made of it and putting them in
There is an abundance of writers to*
the press, and to illustrate this fact, I
may say that the editor of Harper's
Magazine has Mr: ndy a sufficient mini
bi-r of uccepted articles on hand to serve
for two years, lb uce should he not re
. cive a single fresh contribution his sup
ply would last till 1881. Iho rejected
matter, often of interest and real value,
which is daily declined by magazines,
newspapers, and booksellers, would fill
a good-sized wagon, Bonner, of the
Ledger, has for some years left orders
with his clerks to allow no contribution
to bo left for examination. He has his
regular list of writers, who fill up the
space allotted to them, and thus the pa
per is made up without any new con
tributors. Authorship and writing for
tlie press is now overdone, and there are
hut few, and these are, indeed, lucky
who can make a living at it. It is said
that the magazine writers aro not an
"iiviable olasH. They may receive SIOO
for in article, but it is so difficult to get
nn article published that they are not
mu ,.-b letter than a mere newspaper
Bohemian. A lea-ling magaziuist is said
to re to his income from this souroe at
$1,200 a year, which certainly is nothing
to boast of. I have read in the newspa
pers that a young man who had fitted
himself for journalism by a college ed
ucation, had recently engaged to tend
bar in a saloon at 88 per week. This
may be intended as a piece of humor,
hut there is a sad truth underlying it.—
A’< w York Letter.
“Ed” writes to know whether it is
safest, to carry money in the pants or
vest pockel. Money is securest when