Newspaper Page Text
IV. E. HARP, Fublislier.
V’OI.CME I.
NEWS GLEANINGS.
has 1,738 Indians.
cabbage crop of Mobile county,
Mm. sold fo* atrji
W ‘ VfreltM rffrijct - zi per cent of
nails in the United States,
re arc 282 females and 184 males
Mississippi lunatic asylum.
C. Hamilton, of Dalton, Ga., has
stone-fey wllifllf he lias re
■Mkty-five thousand dollars was sub-
Hftd in one day in Tuscaloosa, Ala.,
for an ice factory.
A turp.gntine.farm near Hawkinsviile,
Ga., is caimposcjd.ei£ 800 nacres, and will
be increased to 1,600.
Hon. John M. Bookwalter, late demo
cratic candidate for Governor of Ohio,
baa purchased the old Atlanta Scofield
rolling mill.
Ninety-one thousand eight hundred
dentity-six pounds of manufactured
was shipped in bond from Pe-
HHbg, Va., last week to foreign ports,
WBkv the sale of whisky has been
|Bi! at Augusta, Ark., the people
■Ho use for a city marshal, and are
plating the question of abolish'
ing A office.
An East Tennessee lunatic named
HHfa: imagined that he was directed
to oiler up his wife as a sacrifice
tnd a lade several attempts to murder
ter before he was confined.
Pierce of Memphis charges the
HHBury to indict the "men who run
shops.” He declares that
HHtculating in future delivery cotton
|Ht<m is gambling simon pure.
killed,recrnfly on the Florida.
fßEucsured sovei'.ti£en feet ten and a
flinches loSg. Eleven silver Mexi
tjwlurs, one Spanish doubloon, ggld,
id a lot of brass buttons, were found
M. Duval, of Prescott, Ark., de-
H a colored man’s eye while snipe
last -week. The gentleman paid
■Byton’s bill, gave the victim a sum
HKo'y. and deeded jhitu forty acres
goqd farming land, ■ •
gold vein, near Gaines
-BHGa., shows six feet of superior
■quartz between shining agalite
■ into mica slate. One specimen
H from the surface shews a clear
stal of oxide of tig.
B giant Charles Drummond, a col-
in Onaneoek county,, Ya-,
jH- nineteenth summer. He meas
Hk feet eight inches in height, his
sixteen inches long, and his
has Veen sweet
■Bmah (Ga.)News: Not only are
captured off our coast in large
but they have become so em
ded that they ply our inshore,
jB. The captain of a hark that'
loading in Wright’sA'iver re
for several days peram
|Hr ’ n the vicinity of his vessel.
off the mouth of entrance to
{■Hannah river are these denizens of
JBre other climes to be found, but
B all the way down the Georgia
few days since the whaling
Golden City, Capt. Anthony,
a seventy-barrel whale outside
of Brunswick. To strike and
keßgood haul out of a shoal of these
Wpfts is a “ lucky find,” and when
coßider that the one captured near
though not considered any
>g Bea mastodon, yielded seventy
relß or about 2,130 gallons of oil,
led 4’ about $2,G00, the business can
be el e but profitable.
I Valuable Hints.
ice ia required at night for a
son, break it into small pieces,
[t be scarce and care must b<
f> prevent its melting, put nYte
ilate, cover with another plate,
between two feather pillows.
' wear a good woolen dress intc
ben without the protection of a
iron.
pnel that has not been carefully
and is not sperTedtly soft*., and
thould ever touch the skis of in
v - -
ever had any patience with a
or nurse who Would Isf
ly into her collar, or rib
[reby inflicting painful wounds
tr innocent victim. Not r. pin,
[g a sahty pin, should be usq.
phild, and when buttons will per
le office of pins they should lie
I do so.
[others, aunties, or sisters v. h<
[e school luncheon for the young
bay make it as attractive in aj<
p as Xhff> * )%■ r
1 very *
P dry bread and butter and f
pb rolled in a piece of coarst
[aper, washed dowD by a drink
p cup that “goes the r.-uud--’
luncheon will often impair til'
[of a fastidious or delicate child,
bill go without rafter than eat
tittle care in the cutting of the
phe doing np of the cookies 01
I in tissue o/Vliite paper ; ttie
[custard put into a pretty cup,
[Tapped in a clean white napkin
[bright tin pail, or, better still, b
Inch basket, will, by the pleas-
Ives the child, well repay '.he
Ire and thought.— Rural A’eu
THE JACKSON NEWS.
TOPICS OF THE DAT.
The stenographic report of tli* Gui
teau trial cost 87,000.
• £
The telephone is now in operation in
portions of Central Asia.
Ex-Viob President Wheeler is in
Florida catching alligators.
The Ministry in Egypt consider
slavery in that conn try a necessity.
- - - ♦ :. —
A Canadian Court has recognized the
validity oI divorces granted in New York,
The bridge over East River, at New
York, is to be completed the present
year.
Twelve female doctors in Russia are
now officially engaged in teaching
medicine to women.
If a man adulterates food in China
he is put to death. In America the con
sumer is put to death.
It is safe to conclude that cranks with
missions to destroy rulers are becoming
entirely too abundant.
Fifty-eight million dollars’ worth of
ftoger rings are worn in the United
States, not counting the brass ones.
Temperance in the White House is at
a low ebb. Six different kinds of wirw
grace the dinners given in that institu
tion.
Mr. Blaine’s eulogy on Garfield seems
to be universally commended by the
press for its impartial and moderate
tone.
Th* assessed value of real estate for
taxation in St. Louis is $161,171,010-,
personal property, $30,414,630. Total,
1191,586,240.
A man who gave information that lead
to the conviction of the murderer of
Bailey, in Dublin, was shot dead in the
street a few days ago for his pains.
The fact that Chinese are arriving at
San Francisco to the number of 1,000 to
1,500 a day would make it appear that
the Celestials have just begun to dis
cover us.
Winslow, the Boston forger, is mak
ing money hand over fist in Itio da
Janeiro. His second wife clings to him,
although she knows his first wife is
living.
The Sprague divorce suit was settled
■without the necessity of proving the
husband was a brute or the wife unfaith
ful, and the country, in that particular,
should feel relieved.
Roderick Mac Lean, who attempted
to assassinate the Queen of England, is
pronounced sane by the doctors. To all
appearances, liis inspiration was drawn
from Guiteau’s notoriety.
Bishop, the mind reader, has been
completely stumped. An offer has been
made him in London of a £I,OOO bank
note if he will tell its number while it
remains in a sealed envelope.
Mr. Parnell disobeyed the rules of
Kilmainham J ail and was subjected to
one week of solitary confinement there
for. Thus it will be seen that Mr. Par
hell is looked upon as an ordinary crim
inal.
Miss Kate Field contributes a long
article to Our Continent advocating
knee breeches, and for lack of space,
says she will pursue the subject further
in a subsequent number. Better let
men’s clothes alone.
A large dry goods firm of Boston pro
poses to that each shall
{contribute $lO in weekly installments of
fifty cents, toward treating one out of
every twenty-five of their number to a
trip to Europe, luck to decide who
shall go.
A contemporary suggests that a gen
eral bankrupt law is of far less import
ance than a law regulating marriages
and divorces, which shill be applicable
to all parts of the country. That seems
to be a pretty sensible idea. Matrimony,
ibove all things else, should be well
regulated.
— 1 ■— • ' "
Sicked hams of American pro
ted ipto Garmany, are {hero-;
axed cotton, goods. *Thi-4
e queer, but it is so. Per
haps when some person gets one of the
hams off to himself and goes into the
bowels of the thing he will find it to be
pretty meaty.
Destitution on the Lower Mississippi
does not only continue, hut seems to in
crease. Numerous break in the levees
dFe reported and the whole lower country
is completely inundated. Inconsequence,
the greatest dispress prevails among the
inhabitants who are left without shelter
or the necessaries of life.
The Fish Commission propose, in
April, to place in Lake Erie between 40,-
000,000 and .10,000,000 white fish, which
are now being hatched at Sandusky and
Toledo. It is proposed next year to
pay special attention to the stocking of
the rivers in the interior of the State
with black bass, salmon, and pike.
The saloon-keepers of Indianapolis
JACKSON. GEORGIA, WEDN ESDAY, MARCH 22, 1882.
are making war on those members of
Council who voted for the ordinance tax
ing saloons. Mr. Brice, baker, says he
has lost many customers, a Mr. Stout'
lias lost several thousand bushels of
coat, and a Mr. Caylor intimates that he
is out SI,OOO on ice by the withdrawal
of customers. So it goes.
A literary genius does not believe in
writing a legible hand, because, he
argues, if the manuscript is legible it will
be put into the hands of the worst com
positors, whereas if it be written indif
ferently it will be put into the best hands
and the work well done. He overlooks
the probability of its going into the
waste basket instead of the printer's
hands.
The Old Fellow has come at last, sure
enough. A Belgian, who landed at Cas
tle Garden, a few days ago,- has a pair of
horns an inch long protruding from his
forehead. The doctors say they could
not be cut away without great danger, ns
the incision would probably reach the
brain. The fellow, however, doesn’t
earOj as he seems to be proud of his pe
culiarity.
Nineteen members of the New York
Legislature have returned their free
passes to Mr. Vanderbilt since the
smash-up on the New York Central. It
mny be they were afraid to continue to
ride on Mr. Vanderbilt’s road, but then
it may also be they got better “ terms ”
over some other route. Politicians don’t
throw things over their shoulder for
nothing—not as a rule.
America will lead in everything. The
London World says a young American
gentleman named Matthews, while gam
bling at Monte Carlo, cleared over 500,-
000 francs during his stay of about a
fortnight, 300,000 francs of which he
won in three consecutive nights, liis
greatest loss in one night amounting to
some 70,000 francs, which appeared to
be a small matter to the intrepid player.
jEstheticism is already going into de
cay, and there is following closely upon
its heels, originating in England, of
course, a doctrine known as agnosticism,
having for its followers chiefly scientists.
The principal is defined thus . “An ag
nostic is a msn who does not know
whether there is a God or not, whether
he has a soul or not, whether there is a
future life or not, doesn’t believe that
my one else knows any more about these
matters than he does, and that it is a
waste of time to find out.”
The inventive genius of this nation is
prolific in new discoveries, yet but a
small percentage of the patents issued
liavo any practical value. Prof. Brown,
special census agent, says that 5,585
patents have been issued on plows in
this country. On harrows and diggers
1,740 have been granted; on harvesters,
5,235, of which about 400 are on self
binders; on threshing machines the
number is 1,922. Yet of this vast num
ber how few are in common use and
how small a percentage have ever re
turned their inventors any profit.
A scientist having discovered that
the bite of a mosquito injects into the
system an antodote to malaria, has pur
sued his investigation further by taking
up tiie bedbug. He gives as a result of
bis analysis that the bedbug bite acts as
an antidote against rheumatism, neutral
izing whatever there may be of calomel
or mercury in the system by injecting a
rich fluid which has been distilled in the
retorts of the bug’s body. This may be
the reason persons who live in boarding
houses are not generally rheumatically
afflicted.
We reproduce the following from the
Detroit Free Press without comment:
“ A Boston correspondent writes ; ‘ Can
you give me any reason why General
Grant should be put on the retired list
at $12,000 per year, while the widow of
the brave General Custer, who lost his
life in the country’s service, receives
only S3O per month ?’ We regret to say
that we cannot oblige our correspondent
with any reason. We would very cheer
fully if we could lay our hands on one ;
but after diligent search end patient in
quiry, we have been driven to the eon
elusion that there i* none. ”
Tno-Toronto Globe, relates the follow
ing : “ A weli-l#iown Canadian lumber
man, in making Ids way from Midland
Harbor, Lake Huron, to tho mouth of
,tho Muskotae River, preceded his team
sters to sound the ice. Getting beyond
the islands along the east coast of the
Georgian Bay, he found himself exposed
to the full force of a northeasterly gale.
He was thrown down and blown toward
Collingwood. Nothing would stop him ;
sometimes on his knees, sometimes on
his back, sometimes on his side, he was
driven along with fearful speed toward
the open water, as he supposed. For
twelve miles he rolled, tumbled and
slid, helpless, till he was driven against
a small island and his life was saved.
He lias scarcely smiled since.”
The attempt to assassinate Queen Vic
toria, as she was entering her carriage at
Windsor on the 2d of March, by Roderick
MacLcan, is the sixth attempt that lifts
been made on her life, although she has
never so much as been even wounded by
any of her would-be assassin?,. The first
attempt was made in June, 1840, by a
young man named Oxford, who wasplaced
in an insane asylum for life. In 1842
two distinct attempts at / assassination
Devoted to the Interest of .Tacltson and Butts Countv.
were made, on May 29 and May 30, by
John Francis, who was transported for
life. July 3, 1842, a hunchback named
Doan attempted to shoot the Queen, but
the pistol missed fire and was found af
terwards to lie loaded with powder,
paper and a alav pipe. Dean was sen
tenced to eighteen months’ imprison
ment. A few years ago a half crazy
yonng Irishman pointed an nuloaded
pistol at Her Majesty, for which he was
“ whipped.” No political significance is
attached te the attempt of a few days
ago. _
A debate most novel in its nature has
occurred at Newark, Ohio, between
Professor J. C. Hartzler, Superintendent
of the public schools, and Rev. Adam
Pfenger, a Lutheran minister. The
subject was “ Resolved, that the earth
has no motion, and is the center of crea
tion, ” the minister taking the affirma
tive and backing liis argument by quota
tions from Scripture and' an unlimited
faith in the doctrines tanght by the '* In
spired ” writers. “Johuo commanded
the sun to stand still or God permitted
a lie to be handed down from generation
to generation.” In Isaiah it is said
that ‘' the sun turned backward, ” and
God’s reputation for truthfulness is at
stake when it comes to doubting and
denying His revealed word. The minis
ter denounced astronomers as wholesale
deceivers. Ho also claimed that if the
earth had the motions attributed to it
by science, the Gulf stream would flow
in opposite directions, and the atmos
“phero would sweep every thing from the
fuce of the globe. Professor Hartzler,
in reply, accompanied his argument by
black-board illustrations, and a corre
spondent states that although ho han
dled his subjeot in a masterly way, the
majority of the audience, which was
large, pinned their faith to Pfenger and
the Scripture.
The Humiliation of Servility.
As living becomes more elaborate and
wealth commoner, the unreliability ol
the household service grows more and
more exasperating. In tiie one kind oi
service which is essential to the comfort
and health of a family, it is more ques
tion of luck whether au employer will
got anything like the worth of his
money or not. In every other kind ol
hired labor there are well understood
standards of capability bv which the
question of wages is decided. A printei
is paid only for what ho does. An op
erative in a factory has liis work criti
cised and his mistakes reckoned Uf
agaiußt him. In housework, however,
tins is unheard of. The tidy, industrionr
girl who earns every cent of her money,
is followed by Dinah and filth, and
Bridget and deatmctic who must be
paid just the same price. As for the
;kilk:d‘Jbor that can always be lmd for
money-dir any other line of work, it it
simply not in the market. In this mat
ter rich and poor stand on tiie same
level.
A man may, by a year of hard work,
get a line'ijtiuse in which to put a wife,
bat he hasmo security that- in it she will
lie any better waited on or loss careworn
than she was in the house they rented
for six dollars a mouth. Architects and
hmldirs do all they can to make the
modern house comfortablo. Even
plumbers, may lio bought with a pkiee,
but wSioft the Work is all done, who-will
“guaiantee that the first “help” will not
ißy the kitchen.desolate aud make of tiie
back yard a waste place ?
But while this is true, there are hun
dreds of women in the city, begging for
work of A kind which they consider
genteel. An advertisement for a copyist
nrfifjipJnhswers from hundreds of women.
Every month scores of experienced,
capable young women apply at the sliojis
for positions as saleswomen, at merely
nominal -wages, and every popular dress
maker has on her books fifty or seventy
five names .ahead of seamstresses, who
will take workat any price. Every ladv
aW influence "has in her acquaintance a
dozen women who hover on the edge of
destitution, almost crazy from their own
helplessness.
It seems strange that the one work in
which every girl has a little training, and
for which she may ho considered to have
an Rptitude, is the one thing which she
would never consent to do; and the
question arises whether ibero is any
thing really degrading in kitchen work,
or anything disreputalile in the circum
stances of it which should make it an
unfit business for bright, industrious
•girls who must Support; themselves.
Bur, ly there can ho nothing lowering in
cooking and housework. Any of these
young women will look forward with
pleasure to doing it in her own house.
The most elegant women must needs
have a practical knowledge of it, or their
Mtulilialimenta will never run smoothly.
Placed on Approval.
A stranger enters the store of to oblig
ing grocer:
Stranger—“ Owing to the extortions
of the gas companies I Have about deter
mined to light my premise* with candles,
only, you see, lam at a los* to decide
what sort to select. I want something
really good, you know.”
Grocer—“ Certainly, sir! Step this
way a moment, sir! You can see for
yourself, sir 1” (Lights fifteen different
sort;; of candles and places them on the
counter.)
Stranger (after having walked np and
down before them-for five minutes, with
his chin in his hand, immersed in deep
reflection) —“ Well, 1 guess on the whole
I prefer gas ! Good aftem non 5” (Exit
hurriedly!)
Grocer (Hurling a bar of soap after
him.)-"Oh. : Ml”
•—Uelroit Free Freit.
What is that which has three feet but
no legs, is all body hut no limbs, has no
toes on tho feet, no head, moves a great
deal hut never uses its feet for that pur
pose, has one foot at each end and one
in the center of the body ; never walks
out, hnt goes with one foot where the
head might be, dragging the other foot
behind V Answer—A yardstick.
The Lime Kiln Club.
“Several letter* !ve come to mo
doorin 1 de pas’ week axin' mo to define
my posisliun on dis queshnn of amuse
ments,” said Bruddfer Gardner, as the
lamps were turned np. “ Ebery once
in a whilo dor’ am a yell for reform, nn‘
sartiu men an' women weep an’ wail
ober de giueral wickedness of do world.
De church pitches into de theater, do
prayer-meetin’ whacks away at dancin',
an’ de Sunday school-teacher tells de
lectio boys Jut de circuß am nex’ douli to
Serdiskun. It has bin my opinyun fur
e las' fifty y’ars ; dat dis Was a wicked
world. It was created fur a wicked
world. De Lawd wanted it dat way, an'
He rnnde it to please Hisself. l)e Borip
turs state dat wickedness shall abound
in ebery co’ner of de land; dat men
shall murder an’ rob an’ women go
astray ; dat ohill'en shall delly deif par
ents an’ brudder turn agin brtlddor, All
Bieh tings am predicted an’to be’spected
an* looked fur, an’ nobody linn nnV
grounds to howl air woep. If dis war a
good world we should have no need of
preachers, deacons nil' Sunday-school
toaclierß. Preachers will tell you dat
man am Imperfect, an’ dat de Lawd
made him to go astray, an’ yet dey will
turn ai'oun’ an’ wonder dat he am not
goodness biled down.
" Deed, gem'lon, but de only better
world dan dis am heaben itself, You
have got to hunt fur wickedness to fin’
it. You have got to prejudge de case if
yon can make Wickedness out of de jokes
of a circus down or do plot of do ordi
nary drama. If I had to praise God by
flndin’ fault wid de world lie nnide an’
de people Ho put yere, I’m afraid it
would be faint praise. Do preacher who
can’t go to de theater widout feojin'
wicked had better stay away. If he
wasn’t on de hunt to fin’ wickedness he
wouldn’t see it any mo’ dan do rest of us.
Me an’ de ole woman kin go out an’
dance Virginy reel fur fo’ hours an’ cum
home wid cla’r consciences fur family
prayers. Wo kin set down to keerds an’
not forgit to bo honest an’ charitable an’
forgivin’. We kin go to a circus an’
oomo home an’ fank God dat our lives
have bin spar’d anodor day, an’ dat wo
am still loft to comfort do sick on’ for
give de errin’. If gwino to sicli places
makes a proaeher feel dat Bataii has got
a mortgage on him dou ho’d better stay
home.
“No man airnest in de good cause
wants to fight agin human natur’. Man
am a social bein’. He likes to be pleased
an’ amoosod. Make a tombstono of him
an he’ll soon hate hisself. When 1 see
a man who claims to be too good to
watch a circus purccshun pass ’long the
street I nebor work for him widout de
cash in advance. When I fin’ a man
who am down on amoosements I doan’
work fur him at nil. A y’nr ago, when
me an’ de 010 woman was joggin’ ober to de
circus wo met a man who said wo war
gwine straight to Texas. Ho said ho
would cooner see his son in his coffin
dan in ft circus, and he scurt do ole lady
most to death. I kept track of dat
tombstone, an’ in loss dan six months
he left town widout payin’ his gua bill,
water tax, butcher or grocer, an’ he am
no exception in his class. Look out for
solum-faqcd men. Bewar’ of do men
who weep ober do wickedness of a world
made so by do Lawd fur reasons of liis
own. Have no truck wid men who neb
ber laff. A man widout faults atn a
mini widout reason. A man widout
wickedness am a man widout argyment.”
—Detroit Free Pres*.
Single Women.
A clover old maid once said that it was
far better to be laughed at because you
wero not married than not to bo able to
laugh because Joll wero. There is
sound logic in that. It is well for
woman to marry if she meets a good,
true man who loves ker and whom she
loves; but if she bo not suited, better,
far better, that she remain single. The
majority of old maids are helpful, lova
ble and sweet-tempered, and fill their
allotted niche os acceptably fts do their
married sisters. Are they not more to
be honored than they would have been
had they married merely for a home or
position ? Our young ladies have erron
eous ideas upon this subject. They feel
almost disgraced if they liavo to arrivo
at a mature age, aud are not yet able to
write Mrs. before their names. Their
whole ambition is to get a husband, by
hook or by crook,'but get him somehow
they must. Consequently they take the
first man who offers himself, whether ho
really suits them dr not. Now, girls,
do not murry in haste. Get the beet
education possible, help alniut domestic
affairs, and enter upon some trade or
profession for which you have a taste
arid master it. Bkillod labor is always
well paid. Do’nt spend your ume re
pining because you cannot see the com
ing mam If yon never see him, you
can live useful, happy lives. You think
if you had a huslmnd you would have a
strog arm on which to lean, a sharer of
sorrow and trouble. Alas ! many a
slender woman has had not only to
stand alone, but also serve as prop for
children and husband, and very few
wives ffnd in their husbands all the
sympathy and companionship they de
sire. If you are good for anything you
will not be hurt by remaining siugle,
neither will you be elevated by becom
ing “ John’s wife.” Do your duty in
life nd you will count for one in the
world, whether married or single.
Apples Aft Food.
exchange states the benefits of
apples to boas follows: “A raw, mel
low apple is digested in an hour and a
half, while tidied cabbage requires five
hours. The most healthy dessert that
can bo placed on a table, is a bnkiql
apple. If eaten frequently at breakfast
with coarse bread and butter, without
meat or flesh of any kind, it lias an ad
mirable effect ui>on the general system,
often removing constipation, correcting
acidities and cooling off febrile conditions
more effectually than the most approved
medicines. If families could lie induced
to substitute them for pies, cakes and
sweetmeats, with which their children
are frequently stuffed, there would be a
diminution in the total sum of doctors
Gills in a single year sufficient to lay in a
stock of this delicious fruit for the whole
season’s use.”
A MAN must lie going slowly when he
tetsoid age overtake kin*.
A Romance of O’Donovan In Central
Asia.
When the Russians under General
SkobelelT started on their expedition
against the Turkomans at Geok Tepe,
O’Donovan, of the London Daily Jictvs,
applied for permission to accompany
them, but was refused. Upon receiving
General Skobeleifs final answer, the de
termined correspondent telegraphed his
thanks for the courteous wording of the
refusal, and finished liis message with
the significant words, “An revoir,
General, a Merv.” “Till w meet
again, General, at Merv.”
O’Donovan then started upon his jour
ney. He reached tire northwestern
boundary of Persia, and succeeded in
safely crossing tiro frontier, riding 120
miles in twenty-four hours. Luck, in
addition to his native shrewdness, fa
vored him, and ho reached Merv in
safety, though a prisoner, and suspected
of bding a Russian. As boat be could
he informed his captors of his English
nationality, and liis wit and manners so
pleased the Turkomans that ho wns kept
in a sort of honorablo confinement until
his statement could be continued. Sat
isfactory information concerning him
was nt last received from Teheran, and
he w as released.
O’Donovau’s wonderful stores of in
formation, and his statements concern
ing the almost boundless extent of the
English Empito, caused the Turkomans
to look upon him as a man of much im
portance, and he was called upon to set
tle a long-standing dispute ns to the chief
executive power. There are two proper
holders of tlmt, power—the Sheik of tha.
Eastern Turkomans aflil the Sheik of the
Western Turkomans. It appears tlmt it
Was necessary for the highest diguitnry
or dignital'lcs of the Turkomans to un
dertake a perilous mission to Teheran.
It was considered probable that whoever
wont would lose his head, and to avoid
this risk the two chi' ftains conferred the
honor upon the oldest of their class.
Much to their surprise, lie returned
alive, and was allowed to retain liis dig
nity until the arrival of O’Donovan,
whose abuiidnneo of wealth, it is sup
posed, induoed the Eastern and Western
chiefs to determine to reassert their
claims, lest lio whom they had elevated
to tho highest position should monopo
lize the gifts of tho illustrious foreigner.
A great council was ln-ld, tho old chief
deposed, tho two restored to their origi
nal positions, and O’Donovan elected
Ichtiar Bahadoor Khan of tho Tekko
Turkomans, and joined tho other two
chiefs in forming a triumvirate, ruling
over the district of Merv, with a popula
tion of 500,000 souls.
O’Donovan was installed in his lion
orablo position with imposing ceremo
nies, aud given a “palace,” for that re
gion, to live in. His 'official duties white
abiding in Merv consisted mainly in dis
pensing justice, ohiclly in canes of mur
der nnd robbery, ■ they boiug tho only
crimes recognized.
After six months O'Donovan wearied
of liis life ut Merv, and wishing to re
turn to civilization, expressed a de
sire to be sent as embassador plenipo
tentiary of tho Tekko Turkomans to
tho European courts, A great council
was hold to consider the subject. O’Don
ovftn having arrived at Merv just at tho
moment the onward march of tho Rus
sians had been arrested, arid the Turko
mans associating that cVr-nt with his ap
iunrnuoo, looked upon him as their de
liverer, and liis presence an a sure pro
tection against their hereditary enemies.
For this rnusoli t-lioy wore unwilling to
part with liiiri, but at lust commuted on
tho promiso that lie would one day re
turn to them. lie roplie'd', “I will re
turn when I aui sent back to yon.” It
requires more than a surgical operation,
to enable, tho Turkomans to see through
a joke, and the humor of O’Donovan's
answer- not being appreciated, he was
permitted to depart, and was accompan
ied to tho Persian frontier by a body of
Turkoman troops.— Cincinnati Commer
cial.
Rapid Transit.
Uncle Mono owns scycrill small shan
ties on Galveston avenue, which lio rents
out, but one of the tenants is rather slow
upcoming up witli the rent, so Old Mosc
hail to make him a pastoral, visit. Just
as he waH coming awawfroin tho house,
■Old Mose met Jim Welmtcr.
“Jim,” said the old quin; t‘ which am
de fastest, trabbeler you ober lieonl toll
about?’"
“Dey say dat dc ray of light I rabbi on
more den 200,00(1 miles a second, but I
mflbbor timed it myself,”' replied Jim.
“liar’s a man in Galveston what can
gib.de ray oh light fifty yards start anil
beat it want kind.”
“ G’Wiiy, ole inan. Lyin’ is ketchin,
and I hain’t been vaccinated since and
wall.”
“Hit am joss so as I tole yer, Gabo
Buodgrass, wliut owes mo four mumt’s
back rent, can outtralible de light.”
“Did yer see him do it?”
“I went to de front doah, and jess as
liis wife opened do front doah I seed
Gabe slide out do back doah. ‘ls Gabo
at home ?’ says I. ‘ He’s done gone to
Houston,’ says she. Hit am fifty miles
to Houston, and lie must liab made dc
trip while I was a-lookin’ at him slide
out dc back doah. Jess fetch.on yer
ray ob light, and ef it don’t hub to hump
hitseff to catch up wid Gabe Snodgrass
when I comes for do back rent, deu Iso
a fool——dat s all.
Philosophers and Poets.
The St. Louis Globe-Democrat has a
long article in a late issno, the gist of
which is that women had better marry
philosophers than poets, as their chunces
of conjugal happiness are greater.
The reason of this is that the former,
living In a World of logic and fact, allows
his ideality to deviflop afoitnd his wife,
while the poet, on tho contrary, dwell
ing in a region of sentiment and exalted
fancy, is horrified to find the creature
he had married with the idea that she
was an angel, to be only flesh atid jilood
after all.
The consequence is that the wives of
the philosophers, though they may bo
common-place women liko Dr. John
son’s wife, are lovod while living, and
deeply mourned when dead. The wives
of the poets, on the other hand, no mat
ter how lovely or loveable, are usually
disappointments to their husbands, and
get little of their affection. Girls, marry
philosophers, if you would be happy.
TERMS: $1.50 per Annum.
NUMBER 28.
nUMORS OF TIIE DAY.
Cross roads are most apt to be bird.
An Kansas women lovo to whistle.
And wlurt is more lovely than tulips well
blown ?
Trifles light as hair sometimes turn
the whole course of a man’s appetite,
says the Now Orleans Picayune.
An Illinois girl’s toast: “The young
men of America—their arms our sup
porters, our arms their reward; fall in,
men, fall in.”
Jo says that the best lip salve in crea
tion ia a kiss. The remedy should be
used with great cure, ns it may bring on
an affection of the heart.
A Baltimore man remained in a
trnuco for three days recently, and they
finally had to yell “dog fight” under his
window to rouse him to iil'e.
Mas. Harriet Beecher Btowe thinks
it very inartistic to knit men’s foot gear
straight. Doesn't it depend, Harriet,
on whoso socks it is that is gored.
A Nkbiuska monument to a. horse
thief is simply a stake at the head of t\>o
grave and a sign reading: “It would have
been cheaper for him to go afoot.”
A youNO man has generally got the
winning cards in bis hand when, on
popping the question, lie sees a ‘ ‘flush
in liis sweotheart’s face. — /Somerville
Journal.
Bridget (who lias discovered the car
pet b weeper): “Luk at the music box,
now, will the long handle! I wander
how they plays on the insthrumintl” —
Button Transcript.
An exchange says: “If a minister can
receive the title of ‘Dr.’ why cannot a
physician havo the title of ‘Rev?
Because people may think it meant
Revelations, and doctors know a good
deal.
Said little Edith to her doll: “There,
don’t answer me back. You inustn tbe
saucy, no matter how hateful I um. lain
your mother!” Strange what curioua
Ideas'children get into their heads some
times.
“What pretty children, and how much
they look alike,” says 0, during a first
visit at a friend’s house. “They are
twins,” liis friond explains. “What!
both of’em?” cxclained 0, greatly in
terested.
There is a knock at tho front door,
and tho colored person says to tho lady
of tho house: “Is you do white ooinan
what told a colored gomman you was
lookin' for a colored lady to wash your
clothes By tho mumf?”
“Yes,” sfiid tho tramp, “they talk
about tho charitable institutions of Boa
tun. Now, a man can go down to
tho Ihtwkins Streot Homo and got a
supper and lodging, and lie’s got to saw
a foot of wood to pay for it. By snakes,
sir, I don’t call, that charity. "—Boston
Post.
A new author, who intends to make a
living by good advice, says: “Never leave
what you undertake until you can reach
your linns around itand clinch your hands
on the other side.” Perseverance, ana
all that sort of thing, in tho right direc
tion, is well enough, and even commend
able; but if the now author’s advico is
carried put, ono is likely to get liis ears
boxoil.— Ncu) Orleans Ploat/une.
A Chicago young man broke i the
room of the girl lie loved, to carry her
away, as slio refused to marry him.
Blio was absent, but loft tho bull dog
asleep on hnr lied. Tho room was dark.
The dog didn’t bark, but worked. In
about seven minutes the remains of the
young' man came out and said that he
wouldn’t nmrry that girl for $70,000.
A Sea Waif.
Avery curious anecdote is told con
cerning Admiral Bythesea, V. C., C. 8.,
who retired from the service, after hav
ing for many years filled the post of Cor
suiting Naval Officer to the (Vj7iWument
of India. It is stilted r.i die Admiral
was picked up, when an infant, far out
at sea, lahcd to a bale of goods. A
Kiy-presumably his mother —was with
him, but she was dead, anil there was no
evidence of any kind by which tho name
of the waifs ctitild bo traced. The offi
eors of tho man-of-war which picked up
the poor little infant did all they could
by advertisement and inquiry to dis
cover liis relatives, aud, finding all their
attempts futile, they determined to
adopt the child, to which they gave the
name of “By tho Bea.” He was sent to
a naval school, and, when old enough,
mined the navy. By a happy coinci
dence the first ship in which lie served
was the ono which hud saved his life as
an infant. He took to his profession,
and during the Crimean war distin
guished liiuisejf at the Island of Wardo,
where he earned tho Victoria Cross and
tho decoration of C. B. Later on his
t-drvices in India gave him tho Compan
ionship of the Order of the Indian Em
pire, ,und li retired from the service
with the rank of Admiral —a consumma
tion little drbllmed of by the kind-heart
ed officers who rescued and educated
idUl.
An Ingenious Swindle.
A pair of swindiors played off in Pari*
tho following ingenious trick: A well
dressed man entered a tobaccoist’s shop
on the Boulevard Bonno Nouvelle, and
after purchasing throe cigars gave a flve
fruno gold piece in payment; but after
receiving hie change'he declared that it
was a twenty-franc piece which he had
given, and on the woman who had
served him asserting the contrary, he
added that it was a piece of
the reign of Louis Phillippe,
hearing the date of 1840; the
shopkeeper then looked among the gold
in tier till, and finding a gold coin such
as described supposed she had been
mistaken, and at once gave him the dif
ference. A police agent in plain clothes
happened however to be standing by,
and having his suspicious excited, de
termined to follow tho stranger. He
presently saw the individual join another
man in the street, and the two went to
gether to tho Place do la Bourse, where
they separated, and the second entered
a tobacconist’s, and after making a small
purchase gave in payment the identical
twenty-franc piece received at the other
shox>. The confederate shortly after
went in, and was repeating the same
stratagem as before, when tho police of
ficer stepped forward and arrested liinx