Newspaper Page Text
W. E KARP, Publisher.
VOLUME I.
TOPICS OF THE DAY.
Greyhound blue—a dog color—is haw
ing a big run for traveling dresses.
Nihilism and Fenianism seem to b#
entirely too prevalent for perfect equa
nimity. *
California rejoices over the Presi
dent’s approval of the ten-years anti-
Chinese immigration bill.
The Irish Republican Brotherhood
publishes a document justifying the as
sassination of Cavenish and Burke.
Mbs. Wm. H. Yandbreilt pays her
cook (a man, of course) $7,000 a year.
It is even something to be a skilled pot
slingor.
We never hear of General Butler any
more. The General has the facility of
going to sleep when an interviewer calls
upon him.
A National Brewers’ Convention as
sembled at the National Capital; de
clared against all parties who favor
prohibition. ,
Don Cameron seems to be having his
way about political matters in Pennsyl
vania. It is pretty hard to dcthrono
those old fellows.
Moody and Sankey didn’t like London
and therefore refused to enter into a con
tract with her religious people for the
salvation of souls. London, however, is
not entirely lost.
Vennor predicted for May, cold and
unusually wet. We do not mine! know
ing in advance how the weather is going
to he, but we would like to have a better
meteorological manager.
The report of “ thirty lives lost” by
the burning of the steamer Rodgers was
a grave telegraphic blunder. The re
port was written “ no lives lost” nud the
“no” was transmitted as “30.”
At mast wo are glad to note that
there will be some fruit this year. While
peach brandy may ho scarce, the indica
tions point to an abundant yield oi grape
juice and plenty of hard cider.
“Betty and tlio baby” have some
thing like $4,000 in the bank to then
credit, and the prospects are not exactly
favorable to an early release of Mason.
In fact he seems to be almost forgotten.
The New York State Board of jioaltk
reports that sugar sold in New York
is not adulterated to any considerable
extent, although much adnlterated sugar
is there prepared for the Western mar.
ket.
Summer resorts are offering the Pres
ident apartments for the season, free.
Being a widower, it is expected great
droves of marriageable women will tag
after him. The President might realize
a pretty respectable salary from his
social position if ha were so disposed.
Djixmomico’s, New York, now serves
grapes to dinner parties at $3 a pound—
and other unseasonable fruit at propor
tionate rates. A man who will eat grapes
costing $3 a pound and smack his chops
over them hates the very sight of the
article when they get down to five cerF. 3 .
With a feeling something akin to
ecstacy the announcement may he made
that the aesthetic child of England, whose
name has become wearisome to the eja
and ear, will sail in a few days for Aus
tralia. America will survive.
It seems that Chinese immigration
will have to cease, bnt meantime—until
the law goes into effect—our shores will
be flooded with coolies. It is estimated
that 24,000 will arrive at Victoria alone
betvpeen this and the Ist of August.
General Hazen, Chief Signal Officer,
Rays the escape ot Captain Howgute de
prives the Signal Corps of its best
means of answering the false and vicious
accusations made against it, and m a
letter addressed to the Secretary of War,
demands that every effort ba made to
effect his arrest.
A3 the trig.l of the Malley boys and
Blanche DougHfss progresses at New
Haven, Connecticut, charged w;tli tho
murder of Jennie Cramer, the testimony
adduced leaves little doubt as to their
guilt. Tho girl was first outraged, and
then po|soced, .and when cold iu death,
the body was thrown into the river.
It is estimated that thus far the
United States Government lias given
away tb railroads 200,'000,000 acres of
land, and none of it lias returned un ler
a dollar an acre to the compani* s, and
most of it has gone way abovo that.
There is no reason why railroad man
agers should not be independently rich.
The Springfield Republican say i a
thing that is too good not to quote :
UuciiiuaU editors adopted the “f-t'-iae*
ceutoniptmy” style fc-r a time in the etn.v
spring, blit with the approach ef hot wenth-r
they got down to business again un i cud eacii
other liars and horse-thieves as usual.
It is a habit Cincinnati editors have
of telling the truth when they got mad
and get down to business.
The Scoville family still mnnago to
keep themselves prominently h fore tic
public. The latest sensation I?}, is in
the nature of divorce proceedings. H 0
public may congratulate itself that this
THE JACKSON NEWS.
remarkable family promises to oiler new
and attractive features as often as may
be required for the perpetuation of a
money-making notoriety.
The whisky business in Ohio can
hardly be said to boas rosy as it has
been. Saloons that were not forced to
close by,the Pond tax bill are .worried
beyond all measure by the Smith Sun
day-closing bill. In other words, the
man who conducts a saloon in Ohio now
has several sumptuary measures to sub
scribe to not exactly to his predilection.
Gfm-hat, John McDonald, a memm
of the once notorious St. Louis whisky
ring, and who, on conviction, was sen
tenced and served eighteen months in
the penitentiary, is now earning a living
selling his book “ The Secrets of the
Great Whisky Bing.” How, great a de
cline—from millions to the position of
book agent. Indeed, the punishment of
iho w icked is greater than they can bear.
The glory of having explored the
Arctic regions may have something of
intrinsic merit about it, but wherein the
glory lies in being found frozen stiff as'
a poker it would bo hard to divine. Poor
DeLong, who commanded the Jeannette,
like Franklin and other noted explorers
who preceded him, will reap liis laurels
in another world. There is little con
solation in this for his family and friends.
Iqwa, Wisconsin, Missouri, Kansas,
Pennsylvania, Kentucky, Tennessee and
Indian Territory have all, thus far this
! year, been visited by disastrous cylonci.
r n tiie latter—lndian Territory—the de
struction to life and property was some
thing formidable. As cyclones in former
years wero of rare occurrence, it would
be a source of some gratification if
our scientists would succeed in solving
the cause.
Mexico seems disposed now to entei
into an arrangement with the United
States Government by which hostile In
dians may be brought into subjection.
This is to tho effect that when either
they or tiie United States Government
are pursuing hostiles, the pursuing party
may be permitted to cross tbe border
and continue the chase until relieved by
those whoso territory is being invaded.
The adoption cf this measure will de
stroy tho usual source of escape and
lienee will effectually check brutal out
rages on the border.
There is no one but that believes the
Irish Land Leaguers profoundly regret
the horrible assassination of Cavendish
and Burke. Surely no one seems to
more sincerely mourn the sad event than
they. But that the crime was commit
ted for the purpose of destroying a pro
spective conciliation between the Enclish
Government and Ireland there can bo no
doubt, and that it was the work of the
agents of the disturbing strata that
abounds in all old nations, whose chief
glory is bloody strife, is as true as that
Die sun goe3 down. Peace they will not
Lave so long as they can find flimsy ex
cuses for an alternative.
Upon the subject of reviving the obso
lete Stfnclay laws in Ohio, the Cincinnati
Gazelle , among other things favorable
to the project, says :
The need of the babies is pleaded as a reason
f r Sunday milk deliveries ; but the babies got
along nil the same before Snmlr.y milk wagons
were invented. The well-to-do have means for
saving milk over Sunday. The poor can do
without this, as they have to do w ithotit many
ihinge. And if the stoppage of Sunday miik
shall diinish the rising generation, it will be
onl.’ another of the means which nature
fetches in to restrict the increasing pressure of
population on the means of subsistence, and
to rais e the quality of the raee by the great pro
cess of the survival of the fittest. The cows
' can bo relieved on Sunday, and tho milk profit
ably converted, without tho Sunday sale and
delivery.
So then, that which is necessary to
the sustenance of the rich is not so to
the poor ? It is pretty hard to subscribe
to that doctrine, but still harder is it to
agree to let hunger and death enter the
doers of the poor and lay waste their
homes “to raise the quality of the raee
by tho great process of tho survival of
the fittest.” Is there not something
monstrous in this suggestion ?
Tub Washington Republic presents
the history of the Peruvian claims in the
foliowing brief, intelligible style:
“A long, long time ago there dwell in the
Republic of Peru a poor bnt enlerpriaing
Frenchman named Alexander Cochet. lie had
an inquiring turn of mind, was something of a
chemist, and made some scientific discoveries
as tp tpe ones and qualities of the guano de-
D. .sits, which are tho jmfciajpgl product of that
country, lfe liki viso made iimihir discoTcne*
I-H to i.itratos, which are alto found tlicre in
great quantity. 2 The Peruvian Congress, on
hia petitinD. awarded him as a recompense for
his guano discoveries .6,000 trim of tne article,
bnt on condition that he wonid feveal ail that
ho know about tho nitrates. The condition
was not accepted, ana JOcliet returned to la
belle France, leaving behind him an unsatisfied
"laim and un illegitimate son named Gekcio
Goobft, The lather died iu France, and
Gelacio claimed to ho the inheritor of anything
of value belonging to his father in Peru, iho
on’v thing was thin paternal claim against tho
Government; but a- the award had been made
and rejected, that did not seem to be a very
valuable inheritance. However a Pennsylvania
Putcbman named Ils'euer discovered
-Gelacio, and for some trifle procurred from
him an assignment of his claim. In course of
time it made its wav into tho.pot;Bession of
, ", n -f. y, , v Yorlt speculators, who were soon
metamorphosed into a joint stock corporation
entitled tiivPeruvian Company, with the now
famous Jacob R. Shiphcrd as its promoter,
t -e-’derit counsel. diplomatist, and chief
man of business. The claim -itself had now
attained enormous proportions. It was no
longer a mere appeal to the generosity of (he
r* ruvian Government, bnt a formal demand
/or one-third of the vnlse of all the guano
rdci.tiii'’ 1” Peru and of all thst jiaq beenr
moved since the time of Cochet s discoveries— 1
the whole ci&im amounting to at least a tbou-
Devoted, to the Interest of Jackson and Butts County.
JACKSON. GEORGIA, WISfeN ESDAY, MAY 21, 1882.
sand million of dollars. This was based upon &
decree which offered to thelinders of oonocaled
church property (at a time when it was all con
fiscated) one-third of its value. Then there was
another claim, also of a Frenchman, namod
Landroau, in connection with the actual
finding of the gun no deposits, and this claim
passed practically under (ho control or manag
ment of Mr. Shipherd. It was, however, only
for a small amount (anywhere between seven
millions and three bundled millions.) It had
come into American hands by the fact of Lun
drean having a brother here, who was a
partner with him in his contract, who became
naturalized and who is now in the service of
the United States as Coueul at Santiago do
Cuba.
The Rhuse of Romanoff.
The Romanoffs rather pride themselves
on the antiquity of their family-tree,
claiming that it is known to have been
planted by a Lithuanian prince_ in the
fourth century. It is certain, however,
that the family did not make their ap
pearance in Russia until the fourteenth
century. In the year 1311, Andrew
Ivobyla emigrated from Prussia to Mos
cow, and entered the service of tho
Grand Duke Simeon the Fierce. The
descendants of Kobyla held high posi
tions, and tho fifth in direct descent
from him was Roman Jurievitcli, who
died in 1513, leaving a son, Nikita
Romanovitoh Jurief, who by Iris mar
riage with the Princess of Susdal (a
direct descendant from a brother of St.
Alexander Nevskoi), who was allied to
the royal race of Rurik; and a daughter
who became Czarina by her marriage
with Ivan the Terrible, Nikita was one
of the regency during tho minority of
Feodor I.; and his eldest son, Feodor,
under tho name of Philarete, was
elevated to the rank of Archimandrite
and Metropolitan during the reign of
the falso Dimitri, Tho Romanoffs sup
ported the party that tendered the Rus
sian crown to tho Polish prince, and
Philarete had gone with that view to
Poland, when the opposition became so
violent a3 to change entirely the state of
affairs, and tho Poles imprisoned
Philarete. The national party then pro
ceeded to tho election of a native sover
eign, who should be as closely allied at
possible by blood to the race of Rurik,
and after much hesitation and many re
jections, they selected Michael Feodoro
vitc.h Romanoff, the son of Philarete,
and the representative, through his
grandmother, of tho royal house of
Rurik. The following is a list of the
Czars and Emperors of Russia from that
time to the present. Czar Peter I. was
the first ruler who adopted, in tbe year
1721, tho title of Emperor:
House of Earn an off, i vnn 111 1740
male lino: Elizabeth 1711
Michael ~.1613 Houso of ltomanoff-
Alexei 16-45 Holstein:
Feodor 1676 rotor HI 1702
Ivan and Peter 1...16.42 Catharine II 1702
Peter 1 16SU Paul 1792
Catharine 1 1721 Alexander 1 1801
Peter 11. 1727 Nicholas 1825
16 mole lino. ; Alexander II 1855
Anue 1780! Alexander 111 1881
The Cow “ Hoisted.”
A man came to the offico with a black
eye, a strip of court plaster across his
cheek, one arm in a tiling, and as he
leaned on a cratch and wiped the per
spiration away from around a lump on
bis forehead, with a red ootton handker
chief, he asked if tho editor was in. We
noticed that there was quite a healthy
smell of stock-yards about the visitor,
but thinking that in his crippled condi
tion we could probably whip him, if
worse came to worse, we admitted that
we were ih.
“ Well, I want.to stop my paper,” said
he, as lie snt down on one edge of a chair,
as though it might hurt. “ Scratch my
name right off. You are responsible for
my condition ”
Thinking tho man might have been
taking our advice to deaf men, to always
walk ou a railroad track if they could
find one, we were preparing to scratch
him off without any argument, believing
that he was a man who knew when he
had enough, when be spoke up as fol
lows :
“The amount of it is this. I live out
in Jefferson County, and I come in on
the Northwestern Road, just to get re
creation. lam a farmer, and keep) cows.
I recently read an article in your paper
about a dairymen’s convention, where
one of the mQttos over the door was,
‘Treat your cow as you would u lady,’
and the article said it was contended by
our best dairymen that a cow treated in
a polite, gentlemanly manner, as though
she was a companion, would give twico
as much milk. The plan seemed feasible
to me. I had been a hard man with
stock, and thought maybe that was one
reason my cow always dried up when
butter was forty cents a pound. I de
cided to adopt vour plan, and treat acow
as I would a lacly. I had a brindle cow
that never had been very much mashed
on me, and I decided to commence on
her, and the next morning after 1 read
your devilish paper, I put on my Hunday
suit, andthevhiteplughat that T bought
the year Greeley ran for President, mid
went to the barn to milk. I noticed the
old cow seemed to he bashful, and fright
ened, but taking off my hat and bowing
politely, I said, ‘Madame,excuse theseem
mg impropriety of tire request, but will
you do me the favor to hoist?’ At the
same time I tapped her gently on the
flank, with my plug hat, and putting tho
tin piail on the floor under her I sat down
on the milking-stool. ”
“ Did slid hoist?” said we, rather
anxious to know how the advieo hud
worked.
“Did she hoist? Well, look at me,
, and see if you thing she hoisted. Say,
I tell you in confidence, and I don’t
want it repeated, but that cow raised
right up and kicked me with all four feet, j
switched me with her tail and hooked me !
; with both h6rns, all at once, and when I j
got up out of the bedding in the stall,
and dug my hat out cj the manger, aud |
the milking stool out from under me, and j
began to maul that cow, J forgot all about I
the proper treatment of horned cattle. I
Why, she fairly galloped over me, and 1
never want to read your old paper again.”
We tried to explain to him that the
advice did not apply to brindle cows at
all, but he bobbed out, the maddest
man that-ever asked a cow to hoist in di
plomatic language.— l‘wk'a Run.
It is said that Sitting Bull has become
a thoroughbred loafer, being too jzy to
i-do any hard work except eating. It
tfreiks t *ba"k of the noble t-VI nun to
ket p uim in out of the weather.
1 !!VCI E JTOE S I It VMSI'OItH AT ION.
by amzik n. LAUmt
Old Jos, an lioui s; old darkey, fiuillug Ids
days were drawing to an ebd, summoned all
of hi> children about him to impart 10 i'
words of advice before entering the 1 haven
of rest.” Some of l.ia female admirers being
present aho. The old min hrd already lost
two wive-. His mind teemed mostly occu
pied now with h : s children. Toning rest
lessly on his his bed, he crivl i
“Jake, come hyah ! now, j'-s fix die pilltr
s’curely neaf my-headj
For I’se sontefir. fur to tell you all jes afo’
IV dead;
Come niclipr to your daddy r iisen clo er to
his words.
Fur p-oples allers talkin’—say dey (its it
font de burd. ,
Jake, yen's my el’est chile; son take keer ob
all de res;
An’, ch Inn, min’ yer tumbler, fur he’s turt
le know the be
t’-e raised him up a good hoy, au larnt him
’bout do Bock,
Dat says de good Ole Mah’sr knows yo’ eh’-
rv turn nnd crook.
I’se t acked him how to plow, hoc, pick an
sin de cotton,
He knows de name of tb’ry weed glowing
in dat bottom.
Ober v a icr, cross de creek whar ilnt’a corn
am grovrin’,
Groun’s sr dean it looks as cf ’twonhl neit
her need a hoein’.
De lta mam lull ob elober hay, de catties fa'
an slfcl:;
Dai’s ntiddlin in do smokehouse an r nidi
down by tbc creek.
I knows dal von all’ll help Jake, exceptin
dat debblish Ned,
But lie’s so hemal lazy, his hones wont rot
when he’s dead.
Now i-s you look, lie’s ketchin flies t’oin oft
dtis count,arcane —
D it nigger don’t keer a cent fur de sunshine
or de ruin.
When Cicisr kotch on fire las’ fall, when de
men fokes wasn’t ’bout,
Dat dabble settin’ dar jes cried kns? Sammy
put him out
lie knows whar eb'ry apple tree dats barin’
fruit de ties’;
He’d wade froo thorns and briars, jes to rob
a pror butds tier.
Bat I’se seed him pow’ful ’tielar, when hoein
out de corn,
He’d skip (her half a acre, jes Icrpasali’.t'e
thorn.
* * * m s * *
Cililnn, T feel dat def am cornin, draw me
nigh de fire.
I bii Its I hyar de mnu'c ob de holy
Ileb’ly quart-;
Yes, shoo,dar ant de angels wid harps nil in
deir him’,
An I sec de glo’ius Mansions in dat lichen
ly lan’;
No, dat can't be de Heteu what I sees up
froo de si’.
Fur Jars two black angelsa pullin onea’.-lid-
dor’s liar.
he r forms ’pear mighty fermilyah, but sicli
quur Inolcln (hint's,
Id< e’ar ef day an’t, beerfiil dcv’ll break ofl
bofe deir wings.
Woo’s and it. r a conrin,. Mvii gin oneu dat
11 itv’iy gate ?
You h. (I blitter part dem angels afore it g'ts
(00 I he.
I ook’.i vender! here riey conus thin at a
fearful rate,
Fare's you born <lcn;s my two wives, fur
lichens sake shot dat cate.
* * s> * *
.Take, what’s yon lioldin me for? lermne git
right out dis bed,
Ef Ps imlkerlated right I likes aheap f’olll
la i 1 dra 1.
MV I’d fated.in novels I seed no inde n’r,
I’.i tui-’mylnci wit ds debble. I’sstued&y
aiu’i ib.vvn dar.
Look hyr, you weepia’ ’oomnns, git right
cut lis doo’,
An He'her put \o’ foots again upon dis
punchen floo’;
l’se done sred • nongli ob you nil; 1 hates
yo’ burry raee.
You can’t lib in peace hlbbheD, so don’t
loaf ruin’ (li 1 place.
Now, eliidmi, Itmm i tol* you, don’t marry
s'’on or la e,
At jclgment’zert yo’sefs an git a good seat
by dogate,
Fur when ilesc hyar M roious Come, an ere
tas I in’ ob deir joys,
’Twill lieatdem shows 1111 circuses, you seed
when jolt was boys,
An no oneigwine to b’aaie y*on ef you open
wide yo’ eyes.
Fursartin *s you ib’.ia, dar’ll be fan up ir.
de skies
Cutting Out.
The most desperate, yet generally
successful mid popular, acbicvments have
been those known a “cutting out”—
that is, attacks by open boat upon an
enemy’s ships in an enemy’s harbor,
and I may cite one as among the most
brilliant and picturesque of t hese exploits.
The small British frigate Seahorse was
blockading another frigate of about equal
size in the harbor of Fort') Cahalio, on
tho Bpatiish main. The idea of “cut
ting out” the frigate from under the
Spanish batteries by means of liis small,
open boats, manned with only one hun
dred men, inspired Captain Hamilton,
and, wheu commnuicuteil to tho crew,
was received with three hearty cheers.
The boats, commanded by the captain
himself, loft the frigate at night and
made for the harbor, not unobserved,
however, by a Spanish launch "row
ing guard” at the entrance. This did
not deter the gallant assailant. Lwo
boats proceeded to cut the cables, tho
others attempted to board at different
points, two only out of tho six succeed
ing at first. Tie Spanish crew, number
ing tlirce hundred aud sixty-five, retired
before the headlong attack of probably
not eighty assiilants, and two boats
crows remained to tow the enemy out if
captured. For some minutes the issue
Was doubtful, but while the deadly
struggle proceeded below our lithesome
sailors sprang eloft like a flight of night
birds ; the gaikets were cut, the sails
dropped curtain-like from tho yards, the
ship gained life, ofid floated out liko u
summer cloud or a vision amid the roar
of guns from tho battery, tho continued
tire of musketry, the loud curses of the
Spaniards, and the measured splash of
the oars. When tho struggle ended out
side of tl* harbor one hundred and
nineteen of the enemy lay stiff and
stark, ninety-seven were wounded, while
the loss of the victors whs trifling! This
brilliantly successful exploit was of the
irregular and desperate kind to winch
the well known saying, “ (feat magin
fique main ce n’eat pot l* gueere, would
apply, and it shows tliat in war not only
the chances of success, hut the object to
be gained, must decide. Readers of
naval history know that there were spec
ial reasons why at all hazards tho Her
moine should have been captured, or
j rather recaptured. — The Nineteenth Cen
tury.
“ Been There.**
“ I believe you nro takiug quite an in
terest in spirits just at present?" said a
rather seedy-looking old p>arty, sliding
intt the city editor’s room.
“Yes, wo aro devoting some space to
that sort of thing,” said the city editor.
“Got a communication?”
“Well, no,” Baal the seedy party.
“But 1 can give you a good deal of in
formation on tho suhjeot. You Bee, I’ve
worked the medium racket myself. I
used to be one of the host matoriulizors
going, and I’ve seen the time I could set
a whole set of parlor furniture dancing
a Highland fling by simply slapping my
Angers. These modern follows aro no
good, and don’t you forget it. They
bungle the whole business, and give
everything away before they have hardly
commenced a sitting. What you want
is cheek, and- plenty of it. Don't cave
in because a crank happens to ask you
troublesome questions. Just get up an
infernal rapping under his chair and
scare him into silonco, or got your assist
ant to—”
“ Assistant ?” asked the editor. “Then
you confess—”
“Confess! of course I oonf ess,” said
the seedy party, “that's what I came
here for. Yes, you have to employ an
assistant, and very often tiie whole busi
ness deponds upon his judgment. Why,
I have au assistant who could run the
snap just as well as I could, and ho was
death on stirring up tho unonsy ones
after the light was turned down. One
timo lie touched a piece of ice to the
back of an old gal’s neck, and put her
in a fit. Wo had to skip) that town in
short order I tell you. That was his
great trouble. Ho nover could take in
the truo inwardness of a circle. My
motto is, first be sure of your circle, and
then stave ahead. If they aro farmers
and that kind of thing why let ’em down
easy. A little will go a groat way with
’em. If you strike a city bring in your
heavy guns. Lead off with a dozen or
so communications from the old world,
work up a little rapping business, and
then when you’ve got ’em nervous
enough just suddonly spring the cubinet
act on ’em ; but there is ono thing a well
trained medium will never forget."
“And what is that ?” asked the editor.
“ He will always keep himself botween
the gas fixtures or lamp hud his circle.”
“Exactly,” said the editor.
“Yes,” said the seedy party, slapping
the desk with his hand, “more good,
likely mediums have bust up in that way
than any other. They put too much
confidence in the circle. Whiff 1 Up
went tho gas, and that settled the wholo
businoss. You’re always sure to lip
down a curtain in getting out ef sight,
and there aro all your properties exposed
to every body, hut l’vo got out of ouo or
two scrapes of that sort in my time, and
don’t you forget it.”
“Now did you mauage it?” nsliod the
■editor.
“Oh, I just throw the wholo thing on
the spirits, and played tho innocent in
jured act.”
“ But would the people bcliovo you ?”
asked tho editor.
“Believe me,” saifi the seedy party,
“ my dear boy, if you want to know just
liow much tho people will believe, go
into the spirit business. They never
stand on ceremony. They just swallow
everything whole, and the bigger the
mouthful the easier it seems to go down
with ’em. You just take a hack at the
spirit business for a mouth or so, and if
you dou’t agree that I’m right, I’ll stand
tho drinks for tho wholo office. Talk
about tho side show and dime museum
business. Well, those follows know
something about guys, but we can dis
count ’em every time. They may stick
a stray leg on a cow now and then, and
call a South Carolina darky a Zulu, but
for your simon pure humbug—”
“Then you go so far as to call your
business a humbug?” said the edit or.
“Mv dear boy, I’ve been there,” said
the, seedy party, as lie lit the Mump of
a cigar, and sauntered out with the air
of a man who had relieved his con
science.—Brooklyn Ragle.
Keep Those Discharge Papers.
No soldier should allow any person, i
however specious lus reasoning
or smooth his tongue, to ob- |
tain a copy of his discharge papers. ,
It can be lor no proper purpose that any
person wants copies of such papers, un- j
less such person be the authorized agent |
of the ex-soldier and he engaged in sc- j
curing for him a tract of land under
the homestead act; and, even then, tho
ex-soldier can act for himself. This case
can have but one of two meanings: It
must be the intention of parties buying
up such copies of soldiers’ discharges
ns tlu-y can obtain, thereby to locate
land; if that bo tho ease and
the soldier 11’ claims remain unim
paired, the government is to lie defraud
ed. Or else it means that theso copies
of tho discharge aro to ho used in somo
way so us to invalidate the claims of the
soldiers who rightfully deserve recogni
tion, and have the privilege of the home
stead net. Soldiers should remember
—and dishonest men need not bo told—■
that "in making final proof ou a home
stead entry under the Soldiers’ and Sail
ors’ Homestead Act the party will bo
required to present to the proper district
laud officers a certified copy of liis dis
charge from the United States Array
during the war of tho rebellion, or in
the absence thereof, ‘satisfactory evi
dence’ of service, which may consist
of the party’s affidavit of the facts, cor
roborated by tho testimony of two dis
interested witnesses, will be accepted.”
The intelligent soldiers of the Stab; of
lowa and tho Northwest will at once
see the reasons why parties want soldiers
to give up their papers for a considera
tion. Jict ucli persons understand that
such practices will he investigated, anil
1 that they may hear further on the sub
• joct, and their schemes will he dropped.
A paper has been discovered in the
archives of Venezuela, anted 1780, which
gives an historical summary of early
projects for piercing tho Isthmus of
Panama. Tho first goes hack to tho
reign of Philip 11. of Spain, who, at tho
instigation of tho Viceroy of tho Indies,
k; nt cuitain Flemish engineer* to inves
tigate on the spot the feasibility of the
undertaking. Their report was alto
gether adverse ; and thereupon Philip
Jt, threatened tho penalty of death
ageist whoever should again bring up
the project.
Stories of Talleyrand.
Talleyrand was tho only Bishop pos
sessing a benefice in France who took
the new oath required by the &tatq.
Mirabeau early descried tho talent of this
extraordinary man, “ wlio dressed like a
coxcomb, thought like a deist, and
prouohod like a saint.” Perceiving tho
wklerango of his abilitities, he distin
guished him us one of the most power
ful and versatile of tho men of genius
who then abounded in Europe. Through
everything Talleyrand presorved a .tuny
froth which was inimitable. It was
seen alike in small matters as in great.
One day, as ho was mounting tho steps
of his carriage, ho spoke to an inividual
whom lie had hitherto pretended not to
recognize, but whom he knew very well.
This person ho had seen for days near
his defer. “And who are you, my
friend?” “I am your coaohmaker, my
lord.” “ Ah, you aro my coaohmaker;
and what, do you want, iny coaohmaker ?”
“I want to bo paid, my lord.” “ Alt,
you nro my coaohmaker, and you want
to he paid ; you shall bo paid, my coach
maker.” “And when, my lord ?” “You
are very inquisitive,” said iho bishop,
its lie settled himself in the new car
riage which ho had not paid for.
Many were tho scenes which took
plaoo between him and Napoleon. On
one occasion, Napoleon having said that
if ho thought liis own death likely, ho
would take caro that his Vice-Grand
Elector should not survive him, Talley
rand quietly replied that ho did not de
sire that reason for hoping that his
Majesty’s life might long bo preserved.
Another scone has been thus described
byM. Mole: “At the end of tho Coun
cil of State, which took place just be
fore tho Emperor started for the cam
paign of 1814, ho burst out into some
violent exclamations of liis being sur
rounded by treachery and traitors, and
then, turning to M. do Talleyrand, ho
abused him for ton minutes in tho most
violout and outrageous manner. Talley
rand was standing by the five all this
time, guarding himself from tho heat of
the flames with his hat; ho never moved
a limb or a ienture; any ono who had
scon him would have thought he was the
last man in the room to whom tho Em
peror could bo speaking ; nnd finally,
when Napoleon, slamming tho door
violently, departed, Talleyrand quietly
took tho arm of M. Mollieu, and limped
with apparent unconsciousness down
stairs. But on getting homo he wrote
a, dignified letter to the Emperor, say
ing that if he retained his present dig
nity, ho should ho by right one of tho
regency; and that, as ho could not think
of holding such a charge after tho
opinion His Majesty had expressed of
Into, ho begged to resign liis post, and
la: allowed to retire into tho eoiyitry.
lie was informed, however, that bis
resignation would not be accepted, nnd
that he might stay where he was.” It
is reported that Fnuqho and Talleyrand
actually came to blows in the very closet
of the Emperor upon the subject of tlio
misapplication of tlio secret funds, of
which tin y mutually ncQUsedeach other.
After listening to their accusations nnd
justifications on both sides, Napoleon
turned thorn out of the ronm, say
ing, “Go along ; you nro both of you
rogues.”— London SocArfy.
A Ilorriblo Beast in a Sewer.
One of tho most remarkable incidents
that lias yet come to light—or rather to
darkness—in North St. Louis is recorded,
and although the hero iu tho case
escaped with his life, ho is not particu
larly anxious to go on any more explor
ing expeditious, even when they are iu
the interest of homo comforts and re
quirements. Billy Brant is a well known
meat-shop keeper, doing business on
Ninth street, near St. Louis avenue. He
resides at Elliot and Sullivan avenues,
and the Rocky Branch sower carries away
tho offal and refuse of the locality. For
some time Mr. Brant has had trouble
with his sewerage, and the other after
noon he took hia younger brother with
him to investigate matters. Tho sewer
is a natural one, and largo enough to
allow a wugon with a double team to
drive through it. From the surface the
depth is something over twenty feet, and
a rope and a ladder was brought into
requisition. Mr. Brant descended
through the main hole, which was barely
largo enough to allow of his descent.
He had scarcely entered the sewer when
he heard a rushing through the rushing
stream ef water anil offal, which sounded
as one might imagine tho breaking out
of a menagerie, and by the uncertain
light ho saw plunging toward him a
monster dog, with eyes bloodshot and
emitting sparks of phosphorescent fire.
The animal was about two and a half
feet high, and was heavy set, of tho
bloodhound species with a crossing of
mongrel blood, and probably weighed as
much as a ileer ora colt. He was howl
ing muilly, and his white, gleaming
fangs wove bared in a manner which evi
dently meant business. Tho ! beast.was
covered with short white and black hair,
and wan endowed with other character
istics which were poculeaily interesting
and worthy of research. Mr. Brant,
however, remembered an important end
of the ladder, and, after breaking tho
paralysis of fear, 110 moved up the rungs
as quickly as possible, aud not a moment
too soon', leaving the beast howling
fiercely at tho foot, and expressing its
rage in canine shrieks, which were fairly
blood-curdling. The younger Brant
heard the nohjo below, and felt the lad
der shaking violently, and hisheart stood
still until hia brother appeared in day
light, looking blanched anil agitated.
Mr. Brant soon got back to terra (Irma,
I and postponed investigation* of that ua
’ turn. Mr. J. Kurtzelom, a gentleman
; who is particularly well posted in matters
in that locality, expressed his opinion
I that the dog must have been carried into
Iho sewer when a pup, anil had lived
there all of its life. It was too large
1 even to get in through any man-hole,
and as for its getting out at any time,
that is simply absurd. Tho only exit is
by way of the river, anil the animal
would be drowned instantly if lie ever
attempted to get out that way.— St Louis
Voat-Iycspodeh.
A French manufacture claims the dis
covery of making use of leaves of the
eucalyptus tree as a substitute for tobacco
leaves m cigars. Tho eucalyptus leaves
emit a delicious odor in buxmug.
lEliS 11 : $1.50 per Annum.
NUMBER 37.
POPULAR SCIENCE.
Sulphur aud naphtha are used in the
manufacture of rubber cloth.
The delicate perfumes of melilot and
woodruff are mode from ooal tar.
Oolohino matter known ascaulme ha*
been obtained from the red cabbage.
Diluted in alcohol, in the proportion
" of one to 100, nitro-glyoerine can be kept
safely.
A river moving with a velocity of two
riiilea an hour will move pebbles as large
as hens’ eggs.
Tiibre is no organic reason why fishes
oould not breathe air if the gills oould
1* kept moist and free.
The daily movement of the great
Swiss glaciiir, the Mer de Glaoe, is from
seven to thirty-six inches.
It has been calculated that the gold
of gold lace is not more t-hanathird of a
millionth of au inch thick.
In the Kaga ware the red is first baked
in, .then the gold added and tho porcelain
again submitted to tbe fire.
The ordiunry work ef a horse is stated
at 22,500 pounds raised one foot in a
minute for eight hours a day.
The fogs of London have a great in
fluence on its death rate, whioh increases
with their heaviness and frequency.
A receipt for chapped hands is a pieoe
of camphor the size of a walnut melted
with half n cupful of mutton tallow.
A bar of iron seventy feet long, at a
temperature of 32 degrees Fahrenheit,
heated to 212 degrees, expands ono foot.
Four million of a young spkler’s
threads, which are not so large as those
of a grown spider, are not as largo as a
single human hair.
The alabastrilo marbles of the ancients
were not marble paper, but a hard car
bonate of lime, identical with stalagmite,
the modern alabaster.
A vegetable green, perfectly harm
less, for tlio use of cooks and confection
ers, lias been discovered. It is made
from the grains of raw coffee.
It is said that a lead tank will spoil
petroleum in a week, causing it when
burned to choke the wick. Stoneware
or slate is suggested for tanks.
Hard rubber, for ornaments, is made
from the caoutchouc by mixing with it a
large proportion of sulphur, and baking
at a temperture of 300 degrees.
Nothing is so fatal to oysters as a sand
storm or covering their bods with mud.
Tlio mud and sand accumulate in tho
oyster’s delicate breathing organs and
suffocate it.
The effect of a diet of fish seems to
bo sedativo, quieting, producing dull
ness, rather than intellectuality. That
phosphorus is a brain food is one of
Agassiz’s few mistakes.
Daiiwin found that of eighty-seven
kinds of seeds sixty-four germinated
after an immersion of twenty-eight days,
anil a few survived immersion in salt
water of ono hundred and thirty-seven
days.
Pulque is made from tbe agave or
American aloes. It is a popular error
that trees belonging to this genus re
quire a century to arrive at maturity.
Tho flower is sometimes put forth in ten
yearn in a hot climate.
Ir a piece of tissue of mixed wool and
silk is plunged into hydrochloric acid
tlio silk is soon dissolved, while tho wool
remains, so that by carefully weighing
before aud after the operation, the pro
portion of the two fillers is easily ascer
tained.
A full font of Japanese type com
prises 50,000 characters, of which 8,000
aro in constant use. Each Japanese word
having a distinct character, the telegraph
has been useless to that nation, and the
telephone is likely to prove a blessing to
them.
Clot lies.
A German writer says that “one of
man’s principal defensive weapons in
bis struggle for existence is his clothing.
The place it takes in tho history of civ
ilization and its connection with physiol
ogy are not often thought of. It is spok
en of from a moral anil esthetic point of
view; its main purspose is a purely
liygenic one." There is much truth in
this. The seeds of grave disorders and
chronic illness aie frequently sown
through the neglect of well-known prin
ciples in regard to clothing. As Carlyle
says, “ within the most starched cravat
there passes a windpipe, and under the
thickest embroidered waistcoat there
heats a heart,” and all these organs, as
well as others which Carlyle does not
name, need to be protected by clothing.
Clothes do not make men, although
some persons dress as if they did. There
are those who are nothing more or less
than clotlies-serec-ns. Clothes are not,
us somo suppose, for the purpose of
keeping tho cold from us, for, iu truth,
we could not hear garments which did
not allow of a continual ventilation of
our surfaces. It is not the densest,
thickest or heaviest material that we
need in cold weather. It is of oompor
itively little use in those days to oa'l out
for an utter emancipation from fashion
—perhaps such an emancipation might
not bo altogether wise if it could bo
effected; but where custom is tyrannical
there the man or woman who has a care
for health and comfort should be above
the custom.
(Jeohom was a good boy. He was
always willing to take good advice. The
teacher told him one day that he should
avoid the apjiearanco of evil. George
remembered this. When lie stole Farmer
Clover’s apples that night, he saved all
tho cores and dropped them in front of
Dick Blatherskite’s yard. Dick was a
bad boy and got punished for stealing
Funner Clover’s apples, but George
avoided the appearance of evil. Ho ate
the apples. Tho good are always re
warded in this world and the bad pun
ished. —Jloston Transcript.
About 6,000,000 pounds of evaporated
apples are t present exported to Europe
annually. Tho fruit is sliced into pieces
one-sixteenth of an inch in thickness,
and then exposed to the fumes of sul
phur instead of drying in the sun. After
drying, it is nearly as white as when
first cut. Tho evaporated apples now
sell for 15 cents per pound in European
markets.