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THE PENNY TE NEATT TO CITE,
There’s a fanny tale of a stingy man,
Who was none too good, though he might har
been worse;
Who went to his church on a Sunday night,
And carried along his well-filled purse.
■When the sexton came with his lagging plate,
The church was but dim with the candle’s light;
The stingy man fumbled all through his puree,
And chose a coin by touch, and not sight
It's sn odd thing now that guineas should b
So like unto pennies, in shape and aim.
M I’ll give a penny,” the stingy man said;
“ The poor must not gifts of pennies despise.”
The penny fell down with a clatter and ring;
And back in hia sont leaned the stingy man.
•* The world i (to full of the poor,” ho thought,
“ I can’t help them all—l give what I can.”
Ha, ha! how the sexton smiled, to be sure,
To see the gold guiuea fall in his plate;
Ha, ha I how the stingy man’s heart was wrung,
iVrcelving his b.under, but Just too late!
** No matter,” he said, 44 in the Lord’s account
Tbit guinea of gold is net down to me.
They lend to Him who give to the poor;
It will not so bad an investment be.”
• 4 Na, na, mon,” the chuckling sexton cries out;
4 ‘ The liOrd Is na cheated—lie kens thoe well;
He knew it was only by accident
That out of thy fingers the guinea foil.
“ He keeps an account na doubt for the pulr;
lint in that account He’ll set down to thee
Ha rnair o' that golden guinea, my men,
Thau the one bare penny 30 meant to gi’o!”
There’s a comfort, too, In the little talc—
A serious side as well as a Jok©;
A comfort for all the generous poor
In the comical words the sexton spoke.
A comfort to think that the good I/>rd knows
Ilow generous we really desire to be,
And will give ua credit lii his account
For all the pennies wo long to “gi’e.”
— li. //., tn Ht. Siclmla*.
THE ADVENTURES OF A POET
Narcissus Brown was a most estima
ble young man of studious habits. His
father, ft tradesman, had taken pride in
giving him a liberal education. At the
ago of 19 years, therefore, Narcissus had
linishc'd his education, and had become
a philosopher.
But youth is fioklo. An ardent imag
ination and restless instincts worked
their way, and, at tho age of 19 years
and 3 months, Narcissus became a
poet,
“ Father,” said he, one day, “I feel
within me the poctio instinct. lam a
poet I "
“Very well, my son,” said tho pa
ternal Brown, “be a poet, if you will.
Bo much the bettor, too,” ho added,
witlbprond fond ness, “because it will vox
Oroen, the grocer. His sou is a writer,
but he only writes prose,”
Bo Narcissus became a poet. Every
day lie wandered off to the village near
kin native city, and there communed
with nature. The dusty trees which
lined the roadside moved him to poetry,
ami even tho wind mills stirred his
soul.
“All,” lie would sentimentally say,
“ how romantic they look 1 800 tho
white sails glinting like those of a fair
galleon gliding over tho waves to some
tar offshore.”
T 1 o sea! lie had never thought of tho
sea before. Tho idea suddenly Hashed
across liis brain.
“All!" he in lifted, “the neiv ! The
bright, blue, boundless oecan ! Tlmt is
the pluco for a poet. What 18 there
poetic in this huiu-drum life ashore?
On the ocean man struggle!) with nature;
he combats the elements; he defies the
storm. 1 shall go to sea."
lie returned to the paternal shop, and
declared his intention. But his father
only yielded uftor much persuasion. At
lust lie consented, and made up a pack
age of fancy dry goods which he thought
would sell well in the colonies. To this
he added a purse, some tears and his
Messing, and Narcissus sturtwl for the
nearest sea port..
There lie repaired to the house of a
cousin, a resident of the place; ho
stated his intention, and asked for ad
vice. The cousin was well acquainted
with the Captain of a hrig which was
about to sail for Martinique, and secured
him a passage aboard of her.
Narcissus experienced a slight shock
when lie heard the name of the vessel.
“ li it wore only a little more pooti
cal 1 ’’ he thought. “The Undine, or
the Mermaid, or something liko that.
But the Sarah Ann 1 ” And lie asked
the Captain's name. When told it was
Smith, ho almost fainted. Ho was to
sad aboard the brig Sarah Ann—Smith,
Master, lie would have willingly given
a larger sum if the Captain had a nauti
cal name,
However, there wan no holp for it—
his passage-money whs paid. So tho
next day, accompanied by liis cousin,
ho took a boat aud went on board the
Sarah Ann, to soo what she looked like.
On the way out the water was very
l'oqgh, the boat was small, aud Narcis
sus at once hoped and feared some ac
cident-something romautio. But ho
only got sea-sick.
When he reached tho deck lie east an
eager glance around upon the hardy
suns of the sen. Most of them were
swabbing the dock after getting in car
go, and there were several engagisl in
w'ssluug and hanging out shirts upon
till! t igging to dry. With an exclama
tion of disgust, Narcissus turned away,
“ They only need flat-iron* to be
WHsIK-rwomen,” said lie.
However he descended to the Clap tain's
cabin. Tlmt individual was talking to
a stout, thick-set man, and signed to
Narcissus and his cousin to sent them
selves. They did so, and Narcissus im ;
mediately began to insjiect the cabin.
To his disgust ho found it was a prosaic
little risim, with a carpot, chairs, table
•udpifturuf ou the walla—exactly liko a
room on shore. Narcissus sighed, end
turned his'eyes upon tlm Captain. His
ideal of the man who was to brave the
elements and command a turbulent crow
was an follows : A mariner of giant frame
—at least six feet; a massive head, tierce
eyes, a wuieu of awe-inspiring qualities.
He looked at Oapt. Smith, and Raw
ho was a short, thin man, about forty
yenrs of age; he was extremely jshite
m his manners ; ho woie a wig and took
snuff. It is impossible to describe the
revulsion of feeling that swept over Nar
cissus when he beheld this insignificant
personage.
The individual who was talking to the
Captain was, as wo have said, stoutlv
built; iie was a jolly-looking fellow, autl
w as deeply interested in trying to beat
down t be rate of passage.
“Come, now, Captain," said lie,
“can’t you put it a little lower?”
“I have ouly one price,” replied the
Captain.
Narcissus thought of the paternal
shop, and shuddered.
“Well,” said the stout man, after
much debate, “ what must be must be.
One condition, however ; my boxes must
have air, and dampness ’ will injure
them. You know what they contain.
Bo I want you to promise mo’that thov
shall not be put in the hold.”
“All right,” said the Captain ; “they
shall be placed on the orlop deck.”
“ And I can examine them whenever
I like?”
"Whenever you like.”
“ Weil, here’s your money,” said the
stout man, anil he placed the sum upon
the table, saluted, and left.
“Who’s that fellow?” asked the
cousin.
“Oh, it’a a poor devil of a showman,
He’s going to tho colonies with a lot of
wax figures to exhibit them.”
“ Wax figures 1 Why, they’ll melt if
you leave them on the orlop deck, won’t
they?”
"Well, that’s his business,” said the
worthy Captain, good-naturedly. Then,
turning to Narcissus, he said : “ Well,
sir, I am pleased to meet yon. I shall
make your voyage as agreeable as i Pos
sible. You will bo very comfortable—
iust exactly tlio same as if you were on
land.”
Narcissus was in despair.
“But, Captain,” said ho, “you never
have a voyage without a storm, do
you ? ”
“Storm 1 storm I Why, my dear air,
I’ve followed tho sea, man and boy, for
twenty-one years, and, with tho excep
tion of a capful of wind now and then,
I've always hnd splendid weathor.’-’
“ May the devil strangle you and
your splendid weather l ” thought Nar
cissus.
“If yon wore in winter, now,” con
tinued the Captain, “ I don’t say but
that it might be a little rough; but in
July 1 Why, ray doar sir, you'll scarce
ly know that you’re at ses..”
“Captain,” said Narcissus suddenly,
taking tho bull by the horns, “ can I
get back my passage - money ? I want
to go on some other ship.”
"Some other ship?" tiaid tho aston
ished Captain. “Why, you could not
ho better satisfied. The brig is a splen
did ono. The sailors are all religious ;
you never hear an oath or a vulgar
word from their lips."
At the thought of these nun-like
mariners, Narcissus made an involun-
tary grimace.
“ Let me assure, sir, that you
oouldn't be better off. Besides, accord
ing to maritime law, after you're paid
your passage, the money cannot fie re
turned to you.”
bo the unhappy Narcissus left the
barali Ann, and did not reapponr until
tho hour of sailing, such was liis disgust
at the unromantio character of vessel,
master aud crew’.
When ho went to tho pier to engage a
boat to take him out to the brig ho met
the stout man whom he hnd seen in tlio
Captain's cabin. This |individiml prr>-
pnsed that they should hire a boat joint
ly to transput themselves and baggage
to the brig, and Narcissus consented.
Ho hade farewell to liis cousiu, and
tumbled into the heat. The stout man
followed him.
“ Hrvo you ever been to sea, sir ?” he
asked.
“No,” replied Narcissus; “and
you?"
“ Never, sir ; this is the first time. I
am going to tlio colonies to exhibit my
wax liiruros.”
"What do they represent?" asked
Narcissus, mechanically.
“That,” said lie, pointing to ono—
they were long, narrow boxes, about six
by three—“ that contains a magnificent
figure of the Emperor Napoleon ; that,
a figure of his Holiness tho I’opc ; that.,
mi Albino,” aud ho wout through tho
list.
“ Well, what do you bother me with it
for ?” demanded Narcissus, glad to find
someone to vent lus ill humor upon.
“I only told you because you asked
me, sir," replied the man. submissively.
" Well, shut up, will you?” replied
the goiitlo Narcissus. “ You talk too
much 1”
The stout, man's eyes snapped angrily,
hut lie said nothing.
They reached tho vessel’s side, and,
with unheard-of procuutionn, the show
man lmd his boxes pur aboard, He
made the sailors almost expire with
laughter at the gingerly way in which
lie climbed the ladder, and his calling
tho masts “ the jioloa” furnished them
fresh food for merriment.
At 5 o’clock in the evening the Harsh
Ann weighed anchor ami Hot out on her
voyage. Narcissus remained on (lock,
watching the sun set, and thus, as ho
expressed it, “relighting the torch of
poesy in his soul.” But ho hadn't been
there long boforo ho liecnine extremely
sea-sick, and two grinning tars took him
below.
As for the showman, he remained on
deck amusing the crow by his ignorance
of nautical matters, which was dense.
However, as he was about to go below,
he noticed that ono of tho sheets waa
working loose from its oleat. Glancing
carefully around him, anil seeing no ono
near, he hauled it taut and belayed it
with the cxpertnoßs of an old sailor.
Having done this ho wont off to examine
his cases.
* * * * • *
Narcissus did not sleep. As ho tossed
restlessly upon his pillow ho invoked tho
muses.
“ O muses nine,” quoth ho, “pity mo,
And send us something romautio—a
tempest, a shipwreck—anything. I
have quitted realms of pins, needles and
tajH', and abandoned myself to tho ca
price of the waver, only that my life may
become exciting. Pity mo, then, ye
gods 1 Blow, old Bores*, blow I Lash
thy waves, O Neptune 1”
It is doubtful whether either tho
muses or tho gods heard him, but it is
certain that something very singular
took place almost npon the heels of his
prayer.
The hrig was not provided with state
rooms for psssi'ngers, so the apartment
occupied by Naroissus consisted only of
an old sail draped around the plane
’tween decks where his hammock was
swung. This canvas he could soo over,
aud this is what took plaoe. The feeble
glimmer of a ship’s lantern sorved to
illumine the place without, and its rays
fell npon the showman's boxes, which
wore lashed up sgainst the vessel's side.
Emerging from the darkness Narcissus
saw the figure of the burly showman.
“Tho base hind I” thought lie, “al
ways an lions for his business. Here he
is examining his figures when he might
be watching the stars in you azure
vault ”
Naroissus paused in his poetioal flight
His eyes opened widely: he almost
ceased to breathe. For the showman,
after carefully glancing around him, had
opened one of the boxes, and a man
stepped out. The new-oomer exchanged
a whispered word with the showman,
and begau to shake his numb and rigid
limbs.
“ This is indeed romantic," muttered
Narcissus. But he felt s cold censation
creeping up his back.
The show man continued his task of
opening the boxes. One by ono the
wax figures stepped forth, aliook them
selves and felt their joints. When the
last box was opened, there were six of
them, beside the showman. Each man
drew out pistols and knives, looked to
the locks, and replaced the weapons in
convenient positions.
“ Well,” thought Naroissus, “that is
the most wicked-looking gang of cut
throats I ever set eyes on. This is
altogether too romantic. I wish I was
i home.”
But his thoughts were interrupted by
the sound of the showman’s voice ;
“All ready?” said he, in a hoarse
whisper.
“All ready,” was the whispered reply.
“ Then here we go !”
With cat-like tread they stole away in
the darkness,
Narcissus would have called out; his
tongue clove to the roof of his mouth.
He would have risen ; his head seemed
glued to liis pillow. A cold perspira
tion broke out upon him. He had real
ized the fact that the showman and his
comrades were pirates.
The minutes passed on. They seemed
hours to him. Then he heard an out
cry ; the trampling of feet on the deck
over his head; the short hark of pistols;
muttered curses; groans; then there was
a wild yell of triumph; the sound of con
versation ; then he heard at intervals
tho noise of heavy bodies dropping into
the water—" Splash I Splash ! Splash 1”
It was altogether too romantic. Nar
cissus fainted away.
* * * * 4 w
When lie camo to liis senses he had
experienced a complete revulsion of feel
ing. The ocean to him was distasteful.
Ho waR enamored of green fields and bab
bling brooks. He would have exchanged
the Atlantic ocean for the smallest brook
that ever ran, His fevered fancy car
ried him to the meadows around his
native city ; ho thought of the flowers
there; of the smiling grain and
“ Boom 1”
What was that ? It sounded like a
cannon shot.
Tuero was a crackling sound. The
side of the vossel seemed to lie bursting
in. The planks and splinters flew, and
from the midst there emerged a round
shot—a jolly, pudgy round-shot, which
came wildly skipping along the deck
toward him. As it neared him it made a
final bound, and imbedded itself in the
wood right over his head.
Again Narcissus lost his senses. He
liked romance, but he was getting too
much of it at one time.
* * * *
*
When Narcissus recovered conscious
ness he found himself lying upon the
deck of the brig. There were irons upon
his hands, irons upon his feet. On either
side of him squatted a swarthy sailor,
each with a cutlass, and each watching
him with tho most flattering attention.
Narcissus turned liis head. Behind
him lay his friend, tho showman, in the
same predicament as himself. Ranged
in symmetrical rows lay the comrades of
the showman, all ironed and guarded.
Lying near the brig was a large man-of
war with the Spanish flag flying.
“Hir,” said Narcissus, addressing the
showman, “can you teU me what all
this means ?”
“ Hallo 1” was the reply. “ Why,
there’s the little land lubber.
I’d forgot you completely. Oortainly—
I’ll take great pleasure iu telling you all
about it. Do you see tho yards of that
ship ?"
“ What aro the yards ?” said Narcis
sus, gravely.
“Ha ! ha 1 Well, you see those poles
that run across tho masts ?”
“Yes.”
“Do you seo a man astride of one of
them at the end ?"
“ Yes.”
“ Do you know what he is doing ?”
“No/’
“ He’s fixing a rope.”
“Aropot What for?”
“To hang us.”
“To lia to lmug us 1 To hang
you, you mean.”
“ No—us.”
"Why—why—what do you mean?
You are a pirate ! I am a poet. My
name is Brown—Narcissus Brown ; and
1 live-”
“ Oh, well, tell them so, then. There’s
an officer. ”
Assuming an air of dignity tempered
with submission, Narcissus addressed the
officer, detail mg the story of how he camo
to be aboard the brig. The officer inter
rupted him curtly, in Spanish, by giving
an order to one of the sailors.
"Well,” said the showmau, “do you
know what he said?”
"No.”
"Ho said, ‘ Gag that cur.’ ”
"Then ho didn’t understand what I
said?”
" Not a word. Neither ho nor any of
the others speak anything but Spanish.”
“ But you can sneak tlioir language ?”
"Fluently.”
" Well, then, tell him, you, that—”
"My dear boy, do you remember
when we came out in the boat together ?
You told me I talked too much. Now 1
will he silent. Really, you should have
been more civil. But tlion you arc go
ing to be hanged in ton minutes, anil it
will teach you manners. ”
Narcissus was about to reply, but at
that moment the sailor hail prepared the
gag, and bis mouth was stopped.
“It’s no more than right,” continued
the showman, "that you should know
why you’re going to be hanged, so I’ll
tell you. I’ve been a pirate for twenty
years, and never been unlucky. This is
my firet mishap—l’m afraid, though, it’ll
l>e mv last. Well, about six months
ago I boarded a Spanish merchantman
from Peru, anil, of course, I hail to make
all tho crew walk the plank. Unfort
unately a ring that the Captain had took
my fancy, anil I’ve worn it ever since,
well, this meddlesome fellow hoarded
me yesterday, and I would hnvo got off
unsuspected had it not been for the
cursed ring. The Captain of the inor
chantman hail been a frieml of this offi
cer, who hail given it to him. His sus
picions being excited, he examined the
ship’s papers, and thus found out my
last little game. That, though, you
know all about. So lie’s going to hang
us all. I would have lwen sorrier for
you, my boy, if you had been a little
more civil.”
It was morally and physically impos
sible for Narcissus to reply; he was,
therefore, silent.
His eyes wandered over the scene.
The sea was smooth as glass, the sky
bine and cloudless. The white clothing
of the swarthy Spaniards contrasted viv
idly with their browu skins. The state
ly ships-of-war, with the gorgeous folds
of the Spanish standard floating over
her, was a pleasing sight to gave upon.
But Narcissus heeded not all this. Po
etry had tied from him. He could seo
but one thiug—the seamau on the yard;
ha could tluuk of but one thiug—tho
rope which was so soon to encircle his
neck.
The denmed men were taken aboard
of the man-of-war. One by one the pi
rates were slowly strangled at tin- yard
arm. There remaiuod only Narcissus
and the showman,
“After you,” said tho la f tor with a
fiendish grin. “You are i-onnger than
I am."
The noose was placed around Narcis
sus’ neck. Stalwart arms swung lum
up to the yard. As he drew up his
writhing limbs in his death agony, the
showman turned away hia face.
“Well, it was his own fault,” he mut
tered ; “ but I am half sorry for him."
A few moments passed, and the two
men were again together - -but not is
this world.
A QUEEB HOTEL.
Ttom Favorite RcaoHef ff audtn Honstro*
I ties In Perl*.
lC*rrapondanc Naw York Timaa.J
There is no analogy between the Red
Windmill and the Grand Hotel Legnay,
and yet, m this strange establishment
was one of the most curious in pictur
esque Paris, I may speak of it before it
has become altogether s case of fuit.
The buildings itself was an ordinary
looking hortsA situated on the Route
de la Revolt*, ail of its peculiarity was
in the character of its guests, whom the
landlady, a Stout, high colored old per
son, who wore the largest crinoline ever
seen in the Parisian suburbs and cork
screw ringlets, used to unite around her
festive hoard, which was known as the
Table d’hote de-s Monties, and whither
came phenomena of every variety to
eat their meals during the forensic sea
son. I was taken there by a “ dramatic
agent so he styled himself on liis card
—in search of a subject wherewith to
replace a torpedo woman who had lately
absconded from the St. Germain fair, in
company with a magnetizer, a humble
yet highly esteemed precursor of the
eminent Donato, and 1 must confess
that Ido not regret my Visit. The din
ing room of the “Monsters’ ordinary”
was like the dining rooms of all third
class provincial hotels; aloDg, low ceiled
hall, with cheap colored lithographs on
the whitewashed walls, and a table cov
ered with a cloth of doubtful clealiness,
and an array of coarse crockery, set off
by a huge bunch of artificial roses in the
center. But bell rang and the
banqueters began to oome in, I saw that
the resemblance was only in the proper
ties, as no provincial, nor yet city, hotel
over could have furnished such a specta
cle. The first to take her seat was the
bearded woman, a tremendous Creature
who flirted violently with the living
skelton, muoh to the disgust of a dim
inutive female dwarf, to whom he vainly
tried to whisper sweet nothings, a great
celebrity of the Foire de St. Cloud, the
much appreciated Earnest of Bordeaux,
who without the slightest difficulty,
could twist his head around into tho
middle of his back, which, as my in
troducer assured me was extromely con
venient whon he wanted to call the
waiter. Opposite was another illustration
l'Homme ala JYompe, whose nose
could be wiggled about in any direction
to suit the owner’s will, and likewise
executed popular airs. And with him
W’ere the dogman, a hairy individual
whoso features and voice reminded you
of a skye terrier, and the horned lady
and the tattooed one of Timbuctoo, and
a youthful giantess, described on the
bills of her booth as “ only 16, yet
weighing 100 pounds.” These above
mentioned were "the lions of the hotel,
but with them were at least thirty more
extraordinary creatures, or rather extra
ordinary gifted creatures, of whom some
could eat fire and others see into futur
ity or distribute shocks after the fashion
of votalio batteries. I noticed, however,
that nono of this category were treated
with much consideration by the hostess,
who evidently was sceptical about all
whose claims for distinction were based
on phychological attributes only. Mme.
Legnay had Bmall faith in somnambu
lists, aud sneered at torpedoes, since she
had found out that ane of the most suc
cessful of her electrical boarders carried
a small battery in her back hair. There
was no incident at table save a little
dispute about the Femme a Baibe, who
was too exclusive in her notioe of the
living skelton to plense a Cul de Jatte,
but this was settled by the dramatic
agent’s offer of a tournee —a treat all
around—and from that moment lmr
moDy was not disturbed, but, on the
contrary, good humor reigned supreme
and was manifested, after coffee, by a
lively ball to a piano accompaniment by
a clown belonging to M. Corve’s circus,
who confided tio me that he had “ once
moved in very different society.” Won
derfully grotesque was that ball, one of
those hideous absurd dances roaenbres,
such as tho brain of Callot alone could
have conceived.
Distance of the Sun and Moon.
There are several methods of determ
ining the sun’s distance from the earth,
some of which it would be difficult to
explain satisfactorily to the reader not
already familiar with the subject of the
terms used. The refined investigations
of modern science, says Professor New
comb, have brought to light other
methods, by at least two of which we
may hope, ultimately, to attain a greater
degree of accuracy than we can by
moasuring parallaxes. Of these two,
one depends on the gravitating force of
the sun upon the moon, and the other
upon the velocity of light. And the
same author says, in regard to measur
ing tho distance of the sun by the veloc
ity of light: “There is an extraordinary
beauty in this method of measuring the
sun’s distance, arising from the contrast,
between the simplicity of the principle
and the profoundness of the methods by
which alone the principle can be applied.
Suppose we had a messenger whom we
could send to and fro between the sun
and the earth, and who could tell on his
return, exactly how long it took him to
perform his journey ; suppose also we
knew the exact rate of speed at which
he traveled. Then, if we multiply his
speed by the time it took him to go to
the sun, aud wo shall at once have the
sun’s distance, just os we could determ
ine the distance of two cities, when we
knew that a train running thirty miles
an hour required seven hours u> pasß
between them. Such a messenger is
light. It has been found practicable to
determine, exnerimentally, about how
fast light travels, and to find from astro
nomical phenomena how long it takes to
come from the sun to the earth. In
1862 Foucault found by experiment that
light traveled about 298,000 kilimeters,
or 185,200 miles per second. In 1874
Cornu found bv a different series of ex
periments a velocity of 300,400 kilome
ters per second. In 1879 Ensign A. A.
Michelson, U. 8. Navy, found tho veloc
ity to be 299,940 kilometers per second.
The result of Michelson's is far more
reliable than either of the preoeeding
ones. Combining them all, Frofessor
D. P. Todd, in 1880, concluded the most
probable value of the velocity to lie
299,920 kilometers, or 186,360 miles per
second. Now, we know from the phe
nomena of aberration that light passes
from the sun to the earth in about 493
seconds. The product of these two
unmbers gives the distance of tho sun
in miles. * * These two methods of
determining the distance of the sun may
fairly be regarded as equal in accuracy
to that by tmusits of Venus when they
are employed in the best manner.
A vror of hot water has been tapped
near St. Etienne, France, at a depth of
about 1,500 metres. This new geyser
sends a volume of hot water and carbonic
acid to a height of twenty-six metres.
A Frenchman who had an impermea
ble stricture of the gullet was saved
from starvation by having masticated
food introduced into the abdomen by a
syringe through an artificial opening in
the abdominal wall,
fimaU Farms.
The Detroit Pont has compiled from
Ihe census reports of 1870 and 1880 a
comparative table of farms under twenty
acres occupied in thirty-three States in
the years 1870 and 1880. In parallel
columns the increase or decrease in the
number ot these farms may also be
found. _____
lAIIMS CNKKB .!
TWENTY AC.
Horthebn _
Far thc'For the Increase Decrease
Year Tear tine* since
1870. 1880. *B7O.
California/. 8,27 3 2,037 36
Connecticut.. 4,t24 3,642 818 ■- •< -
Illinois 13,824 12,607 1,217
Indiana 22,344 12,872 M 7 *
lowa 10,37 8 6,619 4,859
Kansas 10,326 2,717 7,608
Maine 10,816 6,206 mo 6,549
Michigan 20,067 7,-319 12,748
Nebraska.... 244 1,108 864 ..
k Hampshire 3,450 3,768 212 ...
New jersey,. 6,639 6,127 412
New York.... 31,223 92,142 919
Ohio 21,006 25,320 4,314
Oregon 1,113 392 721
Pennsylvania. 26,197 31,241 6,044
fehodd Island. 1,159 1,037 122
Vermont 3,805 3,270'. 645
Wisconsin.l6,B6o 6,814 11,046
SOOTHKEN
States
Alabama..’... 13,619 16,929 8,310““
Arkansas 17,300 12,947 4(363
Delaware 811 803 8
Florida 8,455 3,826 371
Georgia 10,190 11,905 1,-706
Kentucky.... 23,482 20,800 2,682
Louisiana.... 11,194 8,656 ...... 2,538
Maryland.... 3,078 6,204 3,126 ..........
Mississippi... 19,984 14,356 6,628
Missouri 29,235 12,229 16,006
N. Carolina.. 21,2941 25,385 4,094
H. Carolina... 10,620] 19,672 52
Virginia 10,929 16,776 5,847
W. Virginia.. 9,445! 6,324 3,121
From tho foregoing table it will be
seen that the only considerable increase
iu the number of small farms between
1870 and 1880 was in the States of Ohio
and Pennsylvania in the North and Ala
bama, Maryland, North Carolina and
Virginia in the South. There was a fall
ing off of over 16,000 in the number of
small farms (twenty acres and under)
in Missouri and of 12,748 in Michigan.
The greatest falling off was in these two
States. Wisconsin, Indiana and Kan
sas follow in order.
The census report is incomplete in
this, that it does not indicate clearly
whether this is the result of extending
clearings or absorption of small hold
ings. There is in all new counties a
first tendency to increase tlio acreage of
each farm, after that follows division
and cutting Up into smaller holding.
Apparently both processes are now going
on simultaneously, but the increased
number of land owners in the country
indicates the disappearance of small
farms in some States is not caused by
freezing out the small holders.
Tn China.
There is one custom in the Celestial
Empire that we would like to see turned
loose here. Boys in China are riot sup
posed to be responsible until they arrive at
about the ago of twenty years, and their
parents are held accountable for all their
crookedness, just the same as the owner
of any other dangerous animal is held
responsible for damages.
Supposing a bad boy walks up and
throws a stone through your bay window
that shatters a fine calla fluid busts
the statue of the sweet singer of Mich
igan, you do not go out and chase him
four blocks with an iron rake and club
him till he gets out of reach, but you
just get an old hoe handle that swings
easy, and you search out the boys par
ents and wear them out with that hoe
handle and mix them up with the sand.
Then if tlio boy don’t behave himself
you can go to other relatives of his, and
graduaUy enlarge the circle of your ac
quaintance, until you have mauled tho
entire relationship, even including the
old grand-parents of the boy, and if any
of those resist they are subject to impris
onment.
This law, although apparently string
ent, is a good one. It makes parents
take more interest in their children and
look out for them more accurately. It
encourages parents to know where their
boys are, and to keep their eyes on them
more than they do in Laramie. Weil, if
that law were to go in force here, some
men we know would have to take an
arnica bath twice a day and -wouldn’t
have a whole bone in their body. We
like to see a bright, active boy with
good health and sound lungs, but the
thriving blossom that will develop into
a Jesse James, we have no use for.
If the Chinese law could be enforced
here against those parents who are
breeding up a squad of hoodlums, we
would not weep. It would, be pretty
active work for the avenger and his hoe
handle, but it would institute a reform
at least. As it is now, a building can
not be left over night before every pane
of glass is broken and the walls smashed
in. Now if the owner had the right to
climb the male parent of those boys and
knock his shoulder-blades through his
spleen and tangle his works all up so
that hereafter his food wouldn’t be any
benefit to him, it might arouse an inter
est in his children so that he would make
them an ornament to society.
You can’t do much with a strange boy
anyhow. If you spank him with an old
window-shutter, he goes home anil tells
his father, aud the olil man tells him to
go right back and do the same thing and
lie will stand by him. Then the boy
returns and repeats, and your start after
him with the intention of killing him,
but as ho turns the corner a quarter of a
mile away and puts his thumb on his
nose and waves his fingers in the air, you
control your brutal temper aud go home.
That’s the reason why in twenty years
from now it will be a bitter cold day when
the telegraph doesn’t give us the partic
ulars of twenty-seven murders and thir
teen train robberies. —Laramie Boomer
ana.
Early United States History.
Congress, on June 11,1776, resolved
that a committee should be appointed to
prepare and digest the form of a confed
eration to be entered into between the
colonies. On the day following a com
mittee composed of members of one from
each colony, were appointed to perform
that duty. The result of this commit
tee’s labors was seen in the Articles of
Confederation which were in due time
subscribed and ratified by the several
States. The second article contained
the following; “Each State retains its
sovereignty, freedom and independence,
and every power, jurisdiction, and right
which is not by this confederation dele
gated to the Uuited States, in Congress
assembled.” In May, 1785, a committee
of Congress made a report recommend
ing an alteration in the Articles of Con
federation, but no action was taken upon
it, and it was left to the State Legisla
ture to proceed in the matter. This
was taken up by Virginie in Janatiry,
1786, and the conclusion was the great
convention which gave birth to the
Constitution.
Tire blacksmith often injures the wood
work of a carriage by fitting his irons
when too hot. If the wood burns ever
so little it weakens it, and if a joint is
near the latter is sure to open. A black
smith that cannot fit an iron without
depending upon its burning its way
down should never be allowed to work
' at the forge.
EMPEHOB WILLIAM’S GREAT AGE,
Ho B©Tcrrl|u Knowh <° Sal ° n "
Throne ul fill Ymr*-
| [New York Evening Post.]
Long reigns are rare in history, long
royal lives much rarer still. Princes
occupy one of the lowest levels in the
whole range of longevity. The r ol
courts is destructive of health, nerve
and vigor. Lives which early corrup
tion, luxurious and effeminate habits,
unchecked passions and unceasing ex
citement do not undermine, are fre
quently shortened by consuming ambi
tion or care, warlike ton and peril, or
the murderous hand of conspiracy.
Among the remarkably long reigns in
history are those of Uzziah of Judah
(52 years), Mithridates of Pontus (o 7),
Sapor 11, of Persia (71), Alfonso I, of
Portugal (73), Frederick IU, of Ger
many (52), Christian IV, of Denmark
(60), Louis XIV, of France (72), George
111, of England (59), Ferdinand IV, of
Naples (65), and Pedro H, of Brazil (51
till now). But Uzziah was a youth when
placed oil the throne, Mithridates a boy,
Sapoy a new-born babe, Alfonso an ni
fant, Christian 11 years old, Louis 4,
Ferdinand 8, and Pedro 5, and of all
the monarchs mentioned only George
111 reached the age of four score. Po
land had one King who reached the ago
of 88, Stanislas Leszczynski; but he
reigned only five years, and survived his
throne fifty-six years, living m quiet
retirement. We must go back to the
davs g£ antiquity to iind William I.’b
royal peers in age, and the only ones
wo discover are Hiero 11, of Syracuse
and Massir.issa of Numidia, both of
whom ended their reign at tho age of
about 90. The reign of Harnesses 11,
Pharaoh of Egypt—tho Sesotris of the
Greeks—is believed by some Egyptolo
gists to have lasted about 67 years, and
his life about 100, but others reduce
both his reign and days to normal pro
portions, Thus, no Emperor known to
history, no reigning King in Christen
dom ever reached the age of William I.
Our age boasts of this extraordinary
royal life, as it does of the only Pontifi
cate, that of Piux IX, which exceeded
the term of St. Peter. And Berlin,
which still often sees it Emperor King
on horseback, also saw in 1859 Alexan
der Von Humboldt give the last touches
to his “ Kosrnos ”in his 90th year; Rau
mor, in 1873, officiated as professor in his
92d; Field Marshal Wrangel, in 1877,
walk its streets in his 94th, and Ranke,
in 1871, issue the first part of a universal
history, intended to embrace eighteen
volumes, in liis 86th. Moltke, who is
not yet 82, must thus appear to the
German capital and nation as a man still
available for action for many a year to
come.
TVliat Ailed Dean Swift.
When “the Vandal desecration of
monuments” hi 1835, exposed Swift’s
skull to the phrenologists, the great
Dublin fturist might possibly have found
in the bones of the ear traces of the
cause of his giddiness. When Mr.
Whiteway examined the brain lie might
have found the cause of Swift’s right
sided hemiplegia and his aphasia. It is
enough now that we can diagnose his
life-long disease as labyrinthine vertigo,
and his insanity as dementia with ttphasia;
the dementia arising from general decay
of the brain from age and disease, the
paralysis and aphasia from disease of
one particular part of the brain.
With all the tortures of the life-long*
from which he suffered and its
obvious effect upon his temper in his
.ater years, it is wonderful that Swift did
retain his reason Until, in the seventy
fourth year of his ago, he was in all
probability struck down by anew disease
in the form of a localized left side
apoplexy or cerebral softening, which
determined the symptoms of his insan
ity.
"That Swift’s works contain no indica
tion of insanity appears to be certain.
As well say that Shakespeare was mad
because he wrote a good deal which we
think nasty. In the fashion of the day,
Swift was too prone to make what may
called excrementitious jokes and gibes.
But that perfect gentleman, Antonio,
voided his rheum npon Shylock’s beard;
and the same kind of thing runs through
our literature, no one objecting, until we
rather recently become less natural and
more nice. Some of our smaller humor
ists and men of letters have criticised
this great king of humor as if he were
both bad and mad, not perceiving that if
he were really insane he must be
pitied and not cursed. But it is the
weakest of arguments to say. withFestus,
for want of argument, “Much learning
doth make thee mad. ” There is always
weakness in madness, but there is little
sign of this in Swift’s works. There is
always some inconsequentness or incohe
rency in madness, but there is none of
this in Swift Down to the last letter to
Mrs. Whiteway he is most wretched, but
he is still collected and wholly himself,
■Popular Science Monthly.
Cash.
The word cash is derived from the
Italian cassa, the chest in xvhioh Italian
merchants kept their money, as do at
the present time the Spaniards in their
caja, aud the Portuguese in their caxa,
and the Frencli in their caisse. The ap
plication of the word “ cash ” to money,
is altogether English, it not having a
corresponding term in any other Euro
pean language. Cash haring been so
inconsiderately adopted instead of cassa
(chest), entries in the cash book (it
should be chest book) are made in count
ing-houses in this unmeaning way:
"Cash Dr.” and “Cash Cr.,” whereas
tlio chest, and not the money, is Dr. to
what is put into it; and credit for what
is taken out.
In China cash is the one-thousandth
part of a tael, or about one-tenth of an
American cent. The earliest public
bank in modern Europe was that of Ven
ice, founded in 1157. It originated in
the financial difficulties of the State,
which in order to extricate itself, had
recourse to a forced loan from the citi
zens, promising them interest at the rate
of four pier cent. It is generally be
lieved that the Chinese were the invent
ors of bank notes, which are said to hav6
originated about 119 years B. C., in the
reign of the Emperor Ou-ti, who hap
pened to be in want of money at the
time, and hit npon this device “ to raise
it.” About 800 A. D., the Chinese, in the
reign of Haintsoung, of the dynasty of
Thang, issued true bank notes. They
were called feytsien, or flying money.
There was a frequent over-issue of these
notes, and it was so easy to create this
paper currenoy that the value declined.
It took 11,000 min. or 15,000 of our dol
lars to buy a cake of rice, and at last the
issue ceased. Two centuries later notes
were issued in China, under legal re
strictions, by joint stock companies, who
promised to pay cash for them every
three yeax-s.
In 1324 Sir John Mandeville. who vis
ited India, saw the described money
made “of letlier emprented, or of
papyre.- Troy lime*.
The British House of Lords will not
last long in its present form, according
to the London Truth, which says that it
has only existed np to now because there
has never been a democratic House of
Commons..
fencing in Madagascar,
Just after stfnset, and while I ,
discussing my dinner, the tum-tum be
gan to beat, and soon the clear space in
the middle of the town presented an SBl .
mated appearance. A sort of illumination
was attempted by mean* of cocoa-nut,
filled with bullock’s fat, bat they did not
give much light and smelied verydisj.
greeably. Mats had been placed under
the old tamarind tree for the King to! j
myself, and on repairing thitLer I found
His Majesty already arrived. • The f(ft .
pie soon formed up for a dance. It a
a very curious sight, aud I never before
saw any native dance quite like it. Tfej
all formed in a circle, and sang, apt/,
ently, a verse of a song. They tun
went in turns into the center of tho rim"
and danced wildly round, flourishing
their spears and singmg, and then they
all joined in a sort of chorus. I | a /
the solo Binging was extempore, Xha
women did not take part in this dance
but all sat together and beat time with
their hands, and then at the finish thev
came forward with calabashes full oi
rum and presented them to the men,
They danced the same dance three or
four times, never omitting i*he mm , t
the end. Hia Majesty kept pressing
also to drink, and I had to take /armor#
of it than I wanted. The wam/;n no,
came forward and danced, the dasce
consisting of swinging the body back,
ward and forward, all the time singing a
plaintive Bort of melody. I could not
help thinking how pell the words ii on
Lcs Cloches de Cornevillc- —“Just loot
at that,” Ac. —would frave suited the ac
tion. They looked very picturesqae
with their’bright-colored lambot mb
wild-looking heads. They have
woolly hair, which they mvake stick om
from the head in little knobs. After the
women had been dancing thus for same
time (the men sitting down and beating
time), a man most grotesquely painted
jumped in between them and danced t
few times up and down the midd/c; then
the women screamed and ran away, and
the men, jumping up and brandnhing
their spears in the most threatening
manner, rushed forward as if to attvk
the new-comer. He at once bolted dov
the street, I afterward found out tbs’
he represented a 1010 (ghost), come to
carry off one pf the women. After he
had disappeared there was a genenl
dance of rejoicing, in which both mei
and women joined, and after that more
rum. It was now l/ng past ten, sol
asked permission of the King to retire
to my hut. He replied, rather huskily,
that it was very early, but gAve me leave
to go. He also promised me so me guides
to take me out in the morning.^-2’cmpli
Bar.
Fat and Lean Men.
Ought a man of genius to he fatoi
lean ? The latter, if the proverbs are to
be credited, which assert that the blade
uses the scabbard, and that the mini
breaks the body. A philosopher remarks
that men of geztius had a yellowish uni
parchment look fbamerly, because they,
being underpaid, wem consequently un
derfed. That type has dist- appeared
effectually as the race of Kir, *? Charles 1
dogs or the dodo. No litterateur of th(
nineteenth century wears shoes yvithont
soles —none resemble Seudery, who fa
vored his crust with a morsel of bad®
prigged from a mouse-trap.
Balzac was so stout that it was a day’s
exercise ° walk around him ; the rid
not diverse him, and he was en
circled With bandages as if a hogshead.
Rossini Was a veritable Jumbo, since for
six years he never sa.w his knees ; ordina
rily, he was caUed by the small boys
hippopotamus in pantaloons. Jules
Janin, the prince of critics, broke ever;
sofa he sat upon ; his chin and Uis cheeks
protruded beyond his beard and lus
whiskers. Lablaciie was charged three
fares whenever he traveled,, and it was in
a horse-box, elegantly fitted up with p
the comforts of a home, plus an opening
outside, that he voyaged before his death;
when he appeared on tho stage the wigs
swore the latter had to be
propped up, just as in the case wheir
elephants don the sock and buskin.
Dumas perc never was stouter than a
drum-major ; Saint-Beuve regarded his
grinning Falstaflian stomach as his great
est mysery in life; Eugene Sue, like
Byron, dreaded getting fat, and indulged
also in vinegar and lemons, as the pre-
Bantam cure. Modern men of genms
are great trencher men; Hugo muee
fish, flesh, vegetable, sweets, etc., upon
his plate, and devotes an hour to exca
vating his tunnel through the
podidra;” Dumas pere ate three null- 1
steaks, but then he said that was fr*
foresight, as he could never count up®
the next day for a meal; Rossini de
voured as much maccaroni as would g |te
indigestion to ten lazzarones ; he pre
ferred the rattle of a “batterie de cm
sine ” to the finest orchestra.
The lean men of genius do not count,
such as Lamartine, De Musset, etc;
their bones pierced their skin, and die
not at all flatter the French goddess
Glory. Besides, such celebrities belongs
the schools of the ‘ ‘ Sorrows of Werther
and the “Nouvelle Heloise.” I'j ie . r
thought too much and never laughed
Story of a Stone.
John Gardner, a tanner living ><
Navarre, Ohio, has a stone among M
collection of curiosities which he says he
took from the inside of a horse in Eng
land in 1832. It is nearly round, is four
teen inches in oircumference, and weigh*
forty-four ounces—nearly three pound*-
Mr. Gardner says the stone was form ll
near tlo animal’s back bone in thjj
abdomen, and that it was not attacks
to the flesh. He thinks it was formed
by the fine dust from mill-stones being
in the chop feed which was fed to the
horse, as in those times the chop con
tained considerable stone dust from tw
fact that just after dressing the mm
stones the miller ground chaff to clean
the burrs. Mr. Gardner thinks tM
stone dust was absorbed from the
stomach by the tissues of the abdomen,
and there collected into this huge ball,
and that thil ball striking the heart a
the animal caused itß sudden death, **
it was well at night when turned out w
pasture but dead next morning. I* l '
stone has decreased in weight six oun<*
In fifty years, thus showing that tn
substance composing it is volatile to
certain extent.— QincinnatiCommerC i* ■
Walter Scott’s Kindness.
Sir Walter had then lost his old vivac
ity, though not his simple dignity;
for one moment during the course of tM
evening he rose into animation, and
happened thus: There was talk among
the party of an excursion which was w
be made on the following day, and, dur
ing the discussion of the plans, 3r-*
Scott mentioned that two elderly maiden
ladies living in the neighborhood were
to be of the number, and hinted tlia
their company would be a bore.
The chivalrous kindliness of her fath
er’s heart was instantly aroused,
cannot call that good breeding,” he saw.
in an earnest ana dignified tone —® re j
buke which echoed the old-fas hionc
teaching on the duties of trne politerw**
he had heard from his mother half ‘
century before. —Oooa Words.