The Jackson news. (Jackson, Ga.) 1881-????, July 26, 1882, Image 4
Terrific Natural Forces.
The present year bids fair to he noteil
for its frequent ami violent elemental
d'sfurbatv os. Cyclones, t .raariocs,
heavy ami long-con tinned rains, fol
lowed br terrible Hoods, ha ; l-storms,
unseasonable and seven! cold an 1 frosts,
have '.folia far strewn the path of IXX2,
ancl if all predictions turn out to be cor
rect, the next two months will giva
additional variety to the mclcnrulogieiil
programme in tin! shape of terrific
thunder and lightning showers. What
is the matter with the powers of the
air? ' While no now forces s'■ m to be
apparent in this general weaiher nnden,
it is Vet quite evident there i; an un
usual combination of forces at work
somewhere. The kaleidoscope of
Nature is revolving vapidly, an 1 sending
her hidden maelimery into new po
sition- and displaying constant); a
succession of fre-li and varying phe
nomena.
lint high seiontlfic authority declares
that this world, lit' - a huge head, is
strung upon a thread of law, and if this
be so, we must not suspc t any e'ement
of chance or capricious uncertainty in
the regular and orderly movements of
natural forces. Yenuor ha- recently
given ont that lie ha-os his oh.-eri r.t -oils
and gnes es in part <>n the periodical re
currence of errin'n courses or do:mm
htraiion.-! of atmospheric phenomena;
that abofit once in • often peculiar
.reasons appear, and mm-ual occur
mucus take place in earth and s-a and
sky. and that by k enrefu study of the
past hi' is a''c In pie i't *o orne ex
tent I lie future, it would tint - -eem
that in the original constiiulion or nr
rang ment of things, uniformity and
regularity were to he the prevailing
rules 01 ad natural movements mil
sequences, mid in addition to this the
law of variation wus :i!so to come in a 1
stated intervals and tun li v or inter
rupt the otherwise i.nnnh iioih proces
sion of menu, dust in in a skillfully
* ctdvipesed pee 'of mush*. • there is tlte
central Diene ol nclody running
tin ought e whole, and then, liariiioin
ously tniiigliu vwi ii it. an iilino t in
,finite number of ilivi rgencies an 1 vriria
t'on-. oin the rami plan of! lie world,
ns iso e.ite 1 in th ' operations of the ma
terial ';bi\ ip.r, tbcio is a main chord
ol regain iu and unii >rdkity visible,
mid, coupled with tlie-c. any number of
,vn ri.ib’e and uMmorw nary divergen
cies fSrutn till' lihUSI coiir e.
Many years ago, among the popular
and iuslriii’tivo le tun sol the Rex. T.
Stm r Kiie who, as a far seeing and
subtle thinker, lias inns ;• had an equal
in this count rv was one entitle I "’the
Lawsol Di order,” in which lie dcuioii
(ifrated with rare beauty and force the
fin t, tltaL the lU ' l uncertain and appur
cntly capricious of all carllily events
and movginriits were umler the control
of lived and mieliaiigealile laws. In
bk<\ lyaimerthe li:sii|i,s of the patient
and. puitrai'ted stinl s of all modern
teleutny nutaniUs'.s, Like Darwin and
,‘-i cnee -, i to prove that till! idea ol
un i and uu iciiuuy, coupled with tli
po've. rf .vacations. forms oint portion
of the greufld-plan of the wield. This
is .‘ceii.ajikw in the perpetuation ol sp"
c ci'ortyp of un iimls aad vegetable
life, in tli.' movements of history and
the unfolding of civilization, iu the re
currence of iinbuul plienomena and in
the rolling of the worlds through the in
finite spaces.
it can thus be seen -t a g'ance how
erroneous a c the views of those who
would attribute all th*.'extraordinary oc
currences o! life to the direel interposi
tion of an unseen and divine hand. The
conception of a trnalor mid Ruler ot
th: ; and other worlds sitting on a lilil
deu throne an I hurling thunderbolts at
his own vv ill and pleasure far an I near,
as Jove vva- supposed to do from the
to, of Mo ult Olvmpn . may lie Grecian
and classic. Inn in the light ol ascer
tained seieiititie taels nod laws, it, can
hardly be called either l hri ban oreix-
Hired.
Another thought in eonneetioii xvith
the working o' iho-e territie natural
forces is, that any nexv light which can
be thrown upon the times and seasons
which they observe, or the methods and
lnxvs xx'hieli they follow, xx'ould lie a
grout public benefaction. And to this
end tjii! recent elVorlsof General lla.'.i'ii
and tiio Signal Service corps to observe
more accurately 111 1 origin and ■ oiirsos
of tornadoes in the various portions o!
tii s country are worthy of all eoinnien
dation. It is not mux'h, til the best,
which can be learned or communicated
eoiu'UVning these terrific aerial visile
lions but all that can be known should
be known and distributed
’ g; h.u.t ilc i •!' <-'
- 1,1 :
Lato Fashion Note*.
Feather fans and parasols are made
to correspond.
The “Langtry” bonnet is little of
crown and largo of brim.
Sheila cloth is much used for portiere*
and oilier hangings.
The trim-fitting plaited xvaist is re
vived for summer dresses.
< 'otton Siciliennc is a glossy fabric
much resembling foulard silk.
Gold lace and Isabella roses trim hats
and bonnets of dark-green straw.
Gold colored lusterless straw bonnets
in “Langtry” shape tire exceedingly
elegant for dress occasions.
Carraekmacross lace is much used
npon fancy round hats of cream-white
straw, also trimmed with while os
trich tips.
Terra-cotta satin dresses, trimed with
real Spanish lace, relieved by huge
clusters of “Jack” roses, are imported.
Among the, rapidly appearing eccen
tricities in fancy jewelry is an ornament
for millinery in the shape of six tiny
birds transfixed on a gilded spit.
The Alpine peasant hat, called the
Monlagnard, with broad brim bent down
over the eyes, is an exceedingly popular
head covering for seaside use.
Fin e wool-mixed cheviots with a dash
of Cayenne red in the woof will be much
employed (or traveling dresses all sum
mer. The facings and eordings arc of
red satin.
Black openwork chenille wraps iii the
Directoire shape are much worn this
season. They form a rieli and elegant
addition to promenade costumes of
moire, foulard, or satin, and have all the
becoming effect of a black velvet man
tle.
One of the prettiest and newest ber
thas for the summer is of violet-tinted
mull, upon which aro appliqued natural
sized heartsease blossoms of gold and
purple velvet. The edge of the bertha
is bordered with violet-tinted Spanish
lace.
The skirts of carriage dresses are
often made of dark laurel-green nuns’
cloth, with pannier; drapery, panels,
and ruche-lining of Oriental brocade in
crimson, green, and gold. .The Conti
nental coat is open to show a Suisse, or
beadle vest, of the brocade, closed up to
tho front with silk cords anil frogs of
darkest green.
Among pretty French hoose saeques
nri those of quite heavy white Austrian
flannel, trimmed with rows of cream
white braid about an inch and a half in
width, and finished on the edges with
ficelle laee, set on in double rullles. In
less delicate styles are those made of
hunters’ green vigogne, trimmed with
small gold-washed buttons and rows of
very narrow gold braid.
Pretty French bonnets, lined with
tinted satin and trimmed with rose gar
lands, with parasols to correspond, are
now placed in wise juxtaposition in
many store windows, and purchase
of one without the other shows a power
to withstand temptation beyond tho
capabilities of most women. For ex
ample, we see a sunshade ontirely cov
ered with myrtle green Spanish lace
mounted on a pearl handle, associated
past severance with a stylish Gypsy
bonnet; also trimmed with green
Spanish laee, beneath tho filmy folds of
which peep phnnominal pale blue roses
held by a mother-o’-pearl clasp. It is
this connection betxvoen one portion of
dress with another that is so pretty and
yet so inexpensive a feature of present
fashion.
At a stylish wedding, in a fashionable
church up toxvn, the bridesmaids con
sisted of six ohorublo little girls, rang
ing in age from six to ten years. They
were attired in charming-looking Kate
Greenaway costumes made of seashell
pink foulard, trimmed with lace and
natural rosolinds, with broad sashes of
pink moire and bewitching little (jueon
Mali bonnets of white shirred surah,
tied down with moire silk strings, tho
crows being wreathed with tho moss
roses. They carried French gilded bas
kets of white and pink roses to scatter
tie' bride’s path as,unaccompanied, she
walked up the church aisle to tho chan
cel, xvhero she mot tho rest of tho bridal
oa''lv. xvho preceded her into tho church.
A simple wajking-rtress for a young
girl is made of limuusine striped beige
and dark C’hinese red silk. Tho round
skitL is in two rows of kilts, and the
second skirt is very much draped in tho
back. In front it is crossed slantwise
and looped high on one side. This tunio
has no trimming beyond several
rows of stitching in dark red silk. The
basque is slaslmJ st the back, and
wnat He Have Aoucea.
That people who wear tho best cloth
ing do not always wear the best.
That people who boast that they al
ways speak what they think, have some
mighty mean thoughts.
That the man who persistently
neglects to live within his income will
one day be trying to live without it.
That the world is divided into two
classes—tiiosc who are ambitious to as
cend above mediocrity, and those who
are ambitious that everybody else shall
descend below their own mediocrity.
That the man who barters health for
riches is never satisfied wilh his bar
gain.
That the man who has a large prin
cipal in the bank sometimes shows no
principle in anything else.
That honesty is the best policy—ih
fact, that all rare things are reckoned
the best.
That learning is a powerful auxiliary
to the fool bent on displaying bis folly.
That man and wife should not be
yoked like oxen, but harnessed tandem.
To get along smoothly, one must lead
and the other follow.
That the strongest horse is generally
placed between ibe shafts.
That the strongest argument agaiii't
sexual equality is, that woman may be
as bod as man when she is possessed of
his superior opportunities.
That the married man wonders xvhy
the bachelor does not marry, and the
bachelor wonders why the married man
married in fact, that this is a world of
wonders.
That the girl who declares that slio
would not marry the best man alive
quite frequently proves her sincerity by
marrying the xvorsfc man she can find.
That it is the same xvith thought as
with money—the less one has of either,
tin; more eager lie is to make a dispiuy
of it.
That when a man is loved for himself
alone, it. is himself who is the lover.
That while some men pick their com
pany, others pluck their company.
That when a man tells you of a chance
to make money, he neglects to mention
the hundred or more chances to lose it
in the same enterprise.
That when a man says, in a slighting
manner, that anybody can do this or
that thing, lie means that anybody but
hinisuli can do it.
That the photographer xvho can make
a flattering picture is more successful
than lie wiio makes a correct likeness.
That he who sees no good in tinman
nature is too much given to self-contem
plation.
That the most precious goods are done
up in the smallest bundles. The letter
1 is the smallest in the alphabet.
That people who pride themselves
upon their ancestry' do what thev can to
make their descendants humble when
thinking of them.
That I lie man who could do a thing if
he only tried is always very careful not
to try\
That the man who is alxvays able to
sav the right thing in the right place is
usually found in the riglitplace to say it.
That it is better to be good and home
ly than pretty bad.
That good taste is too often confined
to the palate.
That no matter how ugly a nose may
be, its imperfections are overlooked by
its owner.
That the average man objects to pay
ing the debt of nature, not so much be
cause he is afraid to die as because he
dislikes deht-raviiur —Boahon Transcriot.
(lollies <i. in posing the Solar System.
The solar system comprises the sun
and all those heavenly bodies which re
volve around him, consisting of the fol
lowing known members : 1. The eight
principal planets and their twenty sat
tellites, or moons. 2. The Asteroids, a
swarm of small planets, numbering now,
according to Professors Newcomb and
Jlolden, 220. 11. An indefinite number
of comets and meteors, revolving in
orbits of much greater eccentricity than
those of the planets. Theueareat known
planet to ttie sun is Mercury, at the
moan distance of 35,392,000 miles from
that body. The late Professor Watson,
of Michigan and Wisconsin State Uni
versities, was positive that during a
total eclipse of the sun lie saw a planet
still nearer the sun than Mercury. The
existence of this body, sometimes re
ferred to as Vulcan, is still a matter of
controversy. Next beyond Mercury,
traveling outward, is the planet Venus,
distant from the sun <16,131,000 mill's;
the next is the earth (with one moon),
91,430,000 miles; the next Mars (with
two moons) 139,311,(100 miles ; then tho
group of diminutive planets called the
numbering, as already said,
(wit ti four moons),
if^?.-"*vJ , ; then Saturn (with
• '.'ill. lour UH
A Scheme that Wcnld’nt Work.
The Newburyport Herald contains an
account of how a prominent merchant
and bank directorof Georgetown, whom
, it designated as “Mr. K.” successfully
"did” a couple'of confidence men and
blacklegs who attempted to “do” him
,in Boston last Saturday. Mr. K. was in
the city on business, and made the ac
quaintance of blackleg No. 1 through
the old game of pretended knowledge
f Mr. K. and his friends, the would-be
swindler representing himself to be a
nephew of the cashier of the bank in
which the Georgetown gentleman is a
director. It was further stated by the
stranger that he was an agent of the
Florida Tea Company, and would allow
Mr. ft. a certain number of pounds of
tea if the latter would distribute a quan
tity in Georgetown as samples. The tea
was kept, according to the story, in a
large warehouse at the South End, but,
l fortunately, the agent had a few pounds
! in a valise at a saloon on Beach street,
i whither Mr. K. consented to go, being
hungry and about to procure his dinner.
I At the saloon, while-waiting for the din
-1 ner, they were accosted by a rough look
| ing man, who asked about the tea in the
1 storehouse, and whom No. 1 introduced
as one of his employees.
Blackleg No. 2 immediately began to
tell about now he had been swindled out
1 of S9O by some frauds with whom he
| had been playing “the old gj.l.” “What
do you mean by that?” asked Mr. K.
“ I’ll show you what the game is,” said
the employee; “ I’ve learned it well, al
though L paid S9O to do it,” and pulling
threo cards from his pocket he exhibited
them to Mr. K. and the tea agent. A
floral bouquet was stamped on two of
the cards, and on the other was engraved
the picture of the “old gal.” “ There,
i gentlemen, I have bought the stock in
trade of those fellows, and now I’ll
wager that I can play the trick as well
as they did. I will now shuffle those
cards and wager $lO that neither of you
can pick out the “old gal.” Mr. K.
stated that he was not in the habit of
betting. The tea agent, however, said
he felt sure that ho could select the “old
gal,” and so he staked his money three
times in succession, and each time won.
The employee then arose and left them
for a few moments, during which time
| the tea agent urged Mr. K. very strong
i ly to bet with the man. Mr. K. declined,
I however, and now began to smell a rat.
! The employee returned, and again tho
j tea agent bet and won. Ib} repeatedly
I urged Mr. K. to play, and Mr. K. re
; peatedly refused, and in a few moments
I he arose to depart, but the tea agent in*
j terfered and said: “ One moment,Mr.
K., I have not shown you the tea yet,"
and turning to his employee he said,
“ James, bring out that largest can of
tea.” .lames wont into a rear room and
brought out a tin can and placed it on
the table. “ Now, Mr. K., I want you
to smell of that tea, as it has the finest
flavor of any I have ever seen.” Mr.
K. began to smell ether, and thought
the time for action had come, and plao
ing his hand in his pocket he brought
out a seven-shooter, and running it un
der the tea agent’s nose, said: “ Now,
sir, before I smell of the sponge in that
can, you will be obliged to smell of tho
contr'ats of this revolver, and l now pro
pose to leave this place without inter
ference. Good day, sir.” As he backed
out of the door the tea agent and his
confederate sat as still as the chairs they
wero in, well knowing that Mr. K. held
a better hand than they. It is very ev
ident that the blacklegs had met Mr.
X. before, as the tea agent talked famil
iarly of the Georgetown Bank and bank
officers.
Garibaldi Dead.
With the death of Guiseppe Garibaldi
disappears a heroic figure which has
long; filled a place of unchallenged pre
eminence in the affections of his coun
trymen. He deserved their love and
admiration, for he was not only a high
minded and single-hearted patriot, but
a successful liberator, and what Mazzini
planned he, more than any other son of
Italy, carried into triumphant execution
To fixnl a parallel to the intiuence ex
ercised by Garibaldi’s personality in tho
shaping of events we must look not to
Kossuth or Bolivar or any leading spirit
of the French revolution, for the move
ments with which those men were asso
ciated had acquired an impetus to which
the contributions of individuals seemed
relatively insignificant. But Garibaldi
may be said to have revived the tradi
tions of Italian valor, and in the victory
he won over great odds in 1849 under
the walls of Home he taught his coun
trymen a lesson of self-respect and
self-confidence which was never after
ward forgotten. When Garibaldi, with
a vastly inferior force, routed a
French army, he wiped out the
contumely of four centuries, reversed
the triumphs of Charles VIII., and con
vinced the world that Italy was at last
worthy to be free. Nqr is it doubtful
to those who appreciate the difficulties
of Favour’s position in 1860 that Italy
owes her unity to the famous expedition
of the One Thousand against Sicily, a
-feat of arms whose er.ual must be sought
exploits of tlv Vikings or of the
adventurers who conquered
'ivlit centuries before
l':inr things in hi-tcry
u i bug IV- vu ‘Ci of
hr bad "on hi
i i 'oio.o , ::
■ “T* 0.0
A True Story About a Queer Fly.
It was on Little Snake River, near the
Colorado line, that I saw my queer fiys
one bright, sunny day, in the early sum
mer, xvhen the vegetation was just
blossoming in that high latitude, all
though much further advanced in more
favored regions. On a well-beaten path
in the alkaline soil, which the sun had
warmed and dried, the fly was hurrying
along, dragging, with its slender leg*,
another insect, apparently dead, which
seemed a heavy burden for it. The little
creatnre woulil stop every few minutes
to take a breathing-spell, and at these
times it would spread its wings upon
the ground and lie perfectly motionless;
then, as if receiving increa-e of strength
from contact with the earth, it would
shako itself and return to its wearisome
task. We soon discovered that its pur
pose was to find a perfectly dry and
safe spot in which to bury its burden,
until trie occupant of the egg that she
was about to lay in it should come to
life, feed on the eutombed insect, and at
last rise from its grave, expand its iri
descent wings, and fly away.
There were four of u, officers of the
army, watching the performance, which
was new to all, and, as the sequel proved,
very interesting. After a few moments,
the fiy dropped her burden and went off
to select a spot suitable for her purpose.
But in a short time, apparently fearing
that her treasure might be disturbed
during her absence, she started to fiy
back. While she was gone, however,
one of us moved her prey a short dis
tance away from where it had been left,
and when she returned and did not find
it, she fell into a flutter of excitement.
She flew swiftly about in circles, widen
ing at every round, until she became
wearied, when she spread herself prone
tin the ground until rested, and then re
traced her path, lessening tho circles
and never becoming confused. Soon the
insect was placed where she could find
it, when she seized it with unmistakable
pleasure and bore it away to the site of
the grave, and, alter resting a second or
two, began to dig with might "vul main.
Her manner of exoavat ing iv ;
she stood on her head and, spinning
swiftly around like a top, bored into tbs
ground like an auger, matting a hum
ming noise with her wings. When ex
hausted by this violent exercise, she
was not satisfied with merely resting on
the ground, but sought the shade cast
by a blade of grass or a leaf of a tiny
shrub, which afforded a cool retreat to
her slender body.
The hole was soon bored out and
smoothed to exactly the right width
and depth to receive the seemingly dead
insect, although no measurements had
been marie by this Liliputian engineer,
who had worked with unerring skill,
unheeding the giants watching her.
Having completed her task, she took a
good rest within tho shadow of her fa
vorite leal, and then sought her burden.
But, again, it was gone!
Ai this she acted precisely as if she
were saying: “Oh, dear, dear! I laid
the thing there, close by the grave, as
sure as sure. And yet I must be mis
taken ; for I had paralyzed it with my
sting so that it could neither fly nor
walk; and those hulking giants stand
ing around here would not be so mean
as to steal it from ma. Oh, fie! there it
is. I fear my brains are in a whirl from
overwork in this hot sun. I could have
sworn I laid it on this, side, instead of
t/iat." (One of us had moved tho in
sect again.) Then she laid an egg in
the insect. *
The burial did not take her loner;
deftly she patted down the dust, and
butted at it, using her small heart as a
battering-ram; but before she had half
finished she xvas forced from sheer
weakness to seek again the shady covert
of the leaf.
And during this interval -so eager
were we to observe the little worker’s
queer ways—we took advantage of her
absence to remove the insect from its
hole and lay it on the ground alongside.
When she returned, she looked at it in
tently for a moment, and then patiently
went to work to put it back ; and this
was repeated twice, with the same re
suit. finally tno patient tty, aticr rest
ing a longer time than usual, returned
to give the finishing touches to the
grave, and, finding it again despoiled,
eemed to become terribly enraged, as
if convinced that the insect was' trying
to make a fool of her. She fell upon it
and stung it again and again, and final
ly destroyed it by repeat and blows.
At this unexpected denouement, xve
walked away to our touts, amazed that
so small a head should contain such a
volume of wrath.— St. Nicholas.
lie Ibid the Russian Accent.
The Russian is the most difficult of all
Continental tongues to acquire. One
must have a throat made on purpose,
and vocal cords strong as tho hawser of
a ship, or ho will never be able to speak
with case and freedom. The following
true anecdote will serve to illustrate
the nature of these awful gutturals
with which tho language is filled. The
Russian Minister, li most accomplished
gentleman, was seated at table by the
side of an American friend, who was
taken with a sudden fit of sneezing.
Now there are sneezes and then again
there are sneezes. There is a little cat
sneeze in which some delicate ladies in
dulge, and there is the robust fiioozo of
the full grown man, and, lastly, the
sneeze immense, the earthquake sneeze,
loud enough to waken even a watchman
at tho dead of night, and strong enough
to lift a heavy mortgage off the house.
(If the later kind was the sneeze we are
describing. At the third report, which
■sought the entire dinner company to
|Bcf’*‘t in dismay, tlit* gentleman from
■Buersburg quietly turned and s-iid
m. ' ■
"T > ■
1 <1
■k i
Ik
ALesson in Natural History—The Dodo.
“Professor, what is a Dodo?” j
“There are several species of the
Dodo, my son, and there used to he
several more before the fool-killer, cut
the country up into regular districts."
“ Please describe some of them to me ?’ ■
“ With pleasure. You have prob
ably attended a Sunday-school picnic
given on the banks of a lake or river?
Six fat women, t.vo girls xvho wear eye
glasses, and a very good boy who lisps
make up the party to take a ride on the :
water. As they are ready to shove off, j
the Dodo appears and keeps them com- j
panv. j
“What is ho like, and what doe 1 he
do?”
“He is generally a soft-headed young
man under twenty-three years of age, j
and he stands up and rocks the boat to !
hear the fat women scream and to in- j
duce the girls ta call him Uweorge.’' i
“Dies the boat upset?”
“It doe3.”
“And is everybody drowned?”
“Everybody except the Dodo, lie
always reaches the shore in safety, and
he is always sorrv it happened. lie is
sometimes so affected that it takes away
his appetite for lunch.”
“And is anything done xvith him?”
“They sometimes rub his head with a
cheap brand of peppermint es erfeo and
turn him out to grass, but no ouo ever
thinks of doing him harm.”
“And the next species?”
“The next species is a youth from
sixteen to twenty. He labors under
what the ancients termed the swell
head. He gets out the family shot-gun
or revolver to show off. He points it at
some boy or girl to see ’em shiver, and
after he has testified before the coroner
that he did’nt know it was loaded the
affair is looked upon as ended.”
“Is this species on the increase?"
“Well, no. The friends of the victims
have got to making such a fuss over
these trifles that the-didn’t-knoxvit-was
loaded Dodo isn’t quite holding his
own.”
“What is the third species?”
“The third species belongs to the
female sex. Of course there are two
sexes of t..e Dodo. She buys arsenic to
kill rats, or corrosive-sublimate to dis
ci ii.mure bed-bugs, or Paris green to
give cockroaches a hint to skip, and she
leaves the packages on the pantry shelf
alongside of her baking-powder. She
may keep ’em separate for txvo or three
days, but it isn’t over a week before the
family begins to lose their appetite and
hire a cheap boy to go for a doctor and
a stomach-pump.”
“And is she sorry?”
“Oh, yes. She didn’t mean to, you
know; never thought of killing the
family; always lived happy with her
husband: had entirely forgotten that he
lwd any life insurance; was in a hurry
and didn’t stop to look.”
“And is there yet another species of
Dodo?”
“Several others, but xve havcn’L time
to take ’em in detail and give full par-'
tieulars in each case. The man who
thinks tho best horse wins is a Dodo.
The woman who gets into society on
the strength of her false hair, small
waist, painted eyebrows, chalked cheeks
and cramped feet is a Dodo. The man
who thinks he can take comfort on a
steamboat excusion—tho woman who
weeps over tho heathen—the girl who
writes poetry on sunsets—the young
man looking for a necktie to become
him—the old man who marries a young
wife—why, it would take ma an hour to
mention them all." Put away vour books
in a careful manner and we will walk
out and see some live specimens of the
Dodo. I know of one who i.as engaged
to deliver a- Fourth of July oration, and
perhaps we inav get a shot at him.”
Mulligan Sails.
A large schooner lay at the foot of
East Twenty-eighth street on Sunday
evening. Just before nightfall a bare
headed man rushed down Twenty
: eighth street, closely pursued by two
! policemen, and sprang on board and
| climbed the mainmast with the agility
l of a monkey. The policemen watched
[ him, evidently puzzled at the situation.
“We sail lit half an hour,” said tho
Captain.
Tho elder policeman, a gray-haired
man of fifty years, hesitated for a mo
ment, aud then proceeded to climb the
mast. The man in the rigging smiled.
The policeman pushed steadily on, how
ever, and the man above finally frowned
and proceeded to climb higher. A crowd
gathered upon the dock watched the
two men with deep interest. Up and
up they went, until the pursued man
had reached his last foothold. The
policeman was a few feet below
him, and both still climbing. Both
seemed determined. A struggle
at that dizzy height was likely
to result in the death of one or both.
An unexpected incident called fortli a
loud cheer from the crowd. The fugi
tive seized a wire rope stretched be
tween the two masts and swung him
self into the air. Hand over hand lie
went until he reached the second mast,
which was without support for him
other than the wire rope afforded. Ho
locked his lego about the mast and
clung to the rope. The policeman de
scended to the deck.
"How can I get that man?” he said
to tho Olfptain.
The Captain smiled grimly. “If it
was any ordinary man 1 should say' you
could pick him up on the deck pretty'
soon, or what’s lelt of him. After see
in him cross that rope I should say you
couldn’t get him until he comes down.
Are you goin’ out with us?” and ho
ordered his crew to cast off
The policemen went ashore, and the
man remained in his dizzy porch until
out of sight in the twilight.
The fugitive was William Irwin, alias
Mulligan, who, on May 23, inflicted in
juries on Edward Marron, of 844 East
Thirty-first street, which kept Mr. Mar
ron confined to his house until last Fri
day. The policeman who made tb.
plucky pursuit was Michael KeHs^jß
1 V-V. I milt. £■
GENERAL.
-Two New York young women of
after the woman their widower pan,
xvas about to and pounded her
tender with a club.
—The high price of beef is graduafl
drawing the yellow dog of Georgia into
tho hot vortex of the bologna sansa?*
factory. —Atlanta Constitution.
—A Kansas farmer took home a
seventy-five cent dog to please his xyjf e
and in one night the animal killed s9l)
worth of sheep to please himself.
—Edison has dropped his electro
light aud is now experimenting to see if
a c iw cannot give ice-cream by wrap,
ping her in congealed water' before
milking.
—The wearer of a calico dress having
set herself on fire and died one day last
xv,!ck from using the sole of her shoe to
strike a match, the staid Philadelphia
Li Iyer suggests that all women who
adopt from their male relatives this
method of striking a light should bor
row their clothes, too.
A Jersey City man Jjas patented
txv 1 improved floor coverings. Onei?
a fabric coated with a mixture of ground
leather and mineral fiber and a biedm*
of .hard varnish, and the other is a
coating of ground wood or some other
vegetable liber, mixed with mineral
fiber and a binding of copal. These
coverings are claimed to be remarkably
cheap and durable.—AT. V. Herald.
—Laros, the Easton poisoner, is said
to be farming out West. If he is p m .
ployed on a piece of rocky and stumpy
ground, and the plow handles insinuate
themselves into his abdomen, or bend a
couple of his ribs, like croquet wickets,
whenever the plow strikes a snag, he is
getting pretty severely punished for
having simply poisoned his father,
mother and uncle. —Norristown Herald.
—“The fact is,” said the seedy tramp,
“1 have read so ranch about the troubles
in the labor market that I am heartily
sick of the whole business, and I made
up my mind long ago that I would never
have anything to do with labor. As I
am a man who never forsakes his prin
ciples, 1 can not work; but if you have
:i nice rare steak and cup of hot coffee
about the premises, I’ll devote a tew
moments to their demolition.”
—When Emerson last visited England
he xvent one Sunday to the church in
Stratford-on-Avon, and seated himself
near the monument to Shakespeare.
There was an unusually fine sermon,
and at its conclusion the congregation
dispersed, but Emerson still sat, silent
an I absorbed. After a little time, a
friend touched his arm and reminded
him that the sermon was over. “The
sermon?” exclaimed the philosopher,
startled from his reverie, “I (lid not
know there had been one.”
New Arithmetical Problems.
James has six apples and divides one
among his live brother and sisters. How
many has ho left?
If a quart-box of strawberries holds a
pint and a half, how many boxes will it
take to make a peck, and how quick can
a tramp get away with them?
If a farmer can mow six acres of grass
in one day. how many liars will it tako
to mow thirty-eight acres of grass in
three days?
A guest at the hotel pays the porter
twenty-live cents to take his trunk up
stairs; ten cents to a colored boy to
bring him a pitcher of water; twenty
five cents further to the pftrter to get
his trunk down stairs; fifty cents to the
omnibus driver, and $9 to the landlord
ns the regular rate of the house. Hoxv
much has he been sxvindled. and what
is lie going to do about it ?
A coal dealer has a driver weighing
185. pounds, who is weighed with 750
loads of coal during the winter. What
would have been the gain to the con
sumers had the driver only weighed lot)
pounds?
If a policeman on night duty sleeps an
hour and a half each night for thirteen
years, how many years of such arduous
labor will it take to reduce him to a
walking skeleton?
In each county in the United States
are seventy inhabitants who believe they
would make good State Governors. Of
this number only two per cent, ever get
to be even a constable Wliat is the
exact number of constables, anil how
many law-suits can a wide-awake officer
provoke in a year.
A grocer lias a horse which lie assert*
can t rot a mile in 2:40. He puts him on
tlic track under a wateli and finds hi*
best gait to be 8:2s!. What was the dif
ference between the grocer’s estimate
and the watch, and why- did lie wollop
the poor horse all the way home?
A father at his death left 512,000 for
the benefit of iiis only son, fourteen
years, e’ght months and twelve days
old, ihe money to be paid him when
twenty-one years of age, with interest
at six per cent. How much money did
the lawyers leave for the bov?
A merchant who has a stork valued at
sB,‘jOO advertises that, he will rPspose of
it at one-fourth off How much does lie
make?
A citizen has a cow winch gives -iv
(pi irts of milk per day. while his sales
roo! up nine ipiarts. 'ill re is nothing
for the student to find in this case.
Simple turn oil the water.
A grocer buys a chest of tea weighing
c’ghty pounds. He sells twenty-seven
pounds of it as “my unapproachable
sixty cent tea ” and the remainder as
“our splendid lortv .cent Oolong.
How much did lie receive in all and h >w
lunch did he have to give to the heathen
that year to quiet his conscience?
A plumber who does sixteen (on'
worth of nqxiirinfl; desires lo charge, tor
four pounds of solder in li is bill. Please
suggest how if can be done without in-,
jury to his *'-l‘ni. —Detroit AV^^ofco
Pui^^> chai