The Middle Georgia argus. (Indian Springs, Ga.) 18??-1893, February 10, 1881, Image 1

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W. F. SMITH, Publisher. VOLUME VIII. Perfnme in Bedrooms. The use of perfumes in bedrooms often covers up disagreeable odors, and noxious matter is allowed to accumulate because its offensiveness is not noticed. Such matter is always contained in exhalations from the lungs and skin, even of persons who are both healthy and clean. We do not refer to the carbonic acid, which is thrown in large quantities from the lungs, and in much less quantity Irorn the skin. This is not really poison ous, but there are other ingredients which are, though their nature is not fully known. They 'ire not gases, but solid particles. 'I hey are reailily absorbed by water, (lamp walls, and moist paper, and pene trate wool and feathers. They soon be come foetid. Many forms of filth are speedily de stroyed by the oxygen of the air, which changes their character; but these ex halations are not so readily destroyed, as is evident from the fact that a bedroom, though freely ventilated, will retain its foetid smell for at least four hours. The exhalations from the skin contain, besides several harmless salts, several fatty acids, and other noxious ingredients. These latter are greatly increased in number and kind by ill health, for the skin always vicariously aids whatever other excreting organ has become weak ened by temporary derangement, or by organic disease. The animal exhalations, when con densed on the window-panes and furni ture, cover them with a glutinous mass, which the microscope soon shows to bo filled with a matted vegetable growth, bet ween tho stalks of which greeuish globules aro seen constantly moving about, accompanied by monads—the smallest of animalcules. When the condensed exhalations dry up, ihey leave a somewhat sickly film, the disagreeable smell of which is often noticed in dirty houses. Iu a warm, moist atmosphere this becomes putrid and harmful. Says Dr. D. F. Lincoln (Ziemssen’s Offclopcdia ).* “ We ouglit to discountenance the use of perfumes, or aromatic fumigations, and to lay all the stress on frequent scrubbing, or free admission of air and light. The first of these measures re moves, the second dilutes, the third chemically disinfects, the organic im purities.” The above applies to all rooms, in pro portion to their use. The frequent scrubbing of the kitchen, and the ab sence of woolen carpets, curtains, etc., help to make the kitchen—in spite of the smell of cooking—the healthiest room in the house.— Youth's Companion. Modern Martyrdom. ITow easy to fret; how hard to keep silent. Every individual member of the household feols as though he was either gunpowder or a burning match. 11 is no easier if we, with the same feelings, go to the kitchen followed by two or three little restless children and endeavor without help to get the break fast on the table. The wood is either in ‘chunks,” or else there is nothing to burn but corn-cobs, and they are burnt to ashes about, as soon as the dames touch them. The ice has all melted, the cream is sour, and the meat spoiled. The bread has run over the pan and table, and is on the door; the ants are in the sugar-bucket, and only half coffee enough browned for breakfast. The children pull at the skirts and ask for a “drink of water," a “piece of bread,” or cry from sheer weariness, and his royal highness rushes through the hot kitchen, to the cool parlor, wondering audibly! as lie goes why it takes a woman so long to get breakfast Then there is need of the charmed water, pf the fairy tale, to hold in the mofrth -until the* nerves cease quivering. H ’ \ We have a great deal of sympathy for a nervous, fretful, overworked woman, and when such a woman does preserve that golden silence we feel like compar ing her to the martyrs-of old. But, after all, that comparison is feeble, The mar tyrs are not to be oompared to a modem, nervous, overworked woman! What is one stroke of the ax, oi the standing upon a pile of burning fagots whose hot dames in an instant take .a way the breath so ready jto ? The bding drop ped into a chAPpCh of* burning oil, pain for an instant, then glory forever! We ndmit that one great blow requires fortitude and courage, but you rally all your femrs to meet it, it comes and passes and that is the end of it. But a trouble that worries and baffles, and stings, and at which you strike or endeavor to push aside, but it still rasps and dlls you with contempt anddisgust—yes, give me my choice and I’d take the burning oil or the stroke of the ax.— Exchange. True Heroism. An act of distinguished bravery was performed in one of the principal mines in the district of Linares, in Spain. Three miifci n were engaged in sinking a shaft, and, after charging the borehole with dynamite, two of them climbed to the galleys abpve, the third, as is cus tomary, remaining behind to light the fuses, attached to the charges. Having done so, ne signaled to his comrades, and was in the act of being hoisted up with a windlass and rope when, on near ing the, mouth of the shaft, he by some accident lost his hold and fell a distance of fifty feet to the bottom e# the shaft, where he lay stunned and dis&bed, in close proximity to the horning fuses. A chain ladder fortunately communicated with the bottom of the shaft, apd, on ob serving the fall, one of the miners at tike windlass, placing his drawn knife be tween his teeth, went down without moment’s hesitation to the rescue of his injured eonjrade, and severed the fuses as they were on the point of igniting the charges, and thus saving him from an awful and instantaneous death. the eve of the wedding* O, love, before we part to-night, Before the last “ I will ” is spoken— Before the ring has touched my hand, Of pure, true, endless love the token— Before the church with holy rite Her blessing on our love has given, Look straight into my eyes with yours, And answer me in sight of Heaven. Is there within your heart of hearts One lingering shadow of regret— One thought that you have chosen ill ? Oh ! speak—'tin not too late even yet. I-i there in all this world of ours One you have ever known or seen, '' bom, if you had earlier seen or known. You would have crowned your chosen queen ? Is there ? I pray you tell me now, And I wili lioid you bound no more. I Mill not flinch to hear the truth. It could not be so sari, so sore, To know it now, as it would bo If by and by a shadow fell I pon the sunshine of our home; So, if you ever loved me—tell. Id hold you pure from blame, dear love! And I would leave you free as air, To woo and win that happier one; All this for your dear sake I’d bear. I will not say how I wouid pray I hat God might have you in Ills care; That would be easy—when I think Of you, my heart is all one prayer. But con’d I join her name with yours, And call down blcss’ng from above On her who hail robbed me of my all— My life—my light—my only love? Yes ! even that I’d try to do ; Although my lonely heart should break, I’d try to say, “God bless her! ” too, Through blinding tears for your sweet sake. I’m looking up into your eyes; But, though my own with tears are dim, ] read that in the-'r true, clear depths, Which toils me, “ You may trust in him.” I will—-I will!—lt needs no words, Though yours are flowing warm and fast. And eloquent with truth and love ; Forgive my doubts—they are tho last I Chambers' Journal. Found—A Diamond Ring, I saw it kicked by the careless bal mo ral of a jaunty nurse. I saw a fat morsel of humanity make for it with a hey ! broken into diverse hey-es-eys by pudgy trotting, and I stopped and secured it, thereby causing the fat one to pull up short, stare at me with two black cur rants set in a dreary expanse of dough, insert a dumpy thumb in an orifice of the same expanse, and trot back again with that stolid resignation under disap pointment which is the peculiar attri bute of the London infantile population. Having ascertained the nature of mv prize, I proceeded to meditate on the proper course to pursue, which medi tation resulted in the following adver tisement : Found.—This evening, Wednesday, in Re gent’s Park, nearly opposite the'New’College, a valuable diamond riug. The owner may re cover it by calling at No. 10 Winton place, etc; Before noon, on the following day, I was making my most courteous bow to a venerable-looking old gentleman, whose white face and benevolent smile added a double charm to the grace with which he stepped forward, and, waiving cere mony, extended his hand, saying : “ You have taken a great weight from my mind, my young friend, and must allow me to thank you.” The insinuating delicacy of the ad jective (I am not more than 45) was, perhaps, not without its effect. I ac cepted the proffered pledge of amity in respectful silence. “ A young man,” continued the patri arch, “ may possibly find it difficult to understand liow the loss of a trinket can be the source of positive suffering to an old one ; but—l am alluding to my lost ring— there are associations connected with it whicli—ahem ! This is childish ; you will excuse my emo tion. ” I bowed profoundly in the presence of his natural emotion. ‘‘ I have passed some hours of sleep lessness and distress, from which you have been the means of relieving me ; I feel deeply indebted to you. There re mains nothing now but to reimburse you for—” “Excuse me, sir,” I stammered, rath er hurriedly, “but, if the ring is yours, you can undoubtedly describe its armorial bearings.” “ Armorial bearings, sir 1 It was a diamond ring. ” “Certainly.” “A plain diamond ring,” repeated the old gentleman, sternly. “Do not at tempt to play tricks on me, young man. I will point out to you directly—” “ I beg your pardon,” said I, drawing back from the outstretched hand, “but, as the ring in my possession is surely engraved with a*crest and motto, I con clude it cannot be the one you are in search of. ” The old gentleman eyed me for a mo ment keenly. “I am afraid you are right,” he sighed, in a tone of deep dejection ; “I must seek further. Alas ! what a mel ancholy termination of my hopeful jour ney.” “Speed the parting, welcome the coming guest,” is a very good motto. I made no attempt to detain my vener able friend; but as he turned toward the door I am certain I saw, beneath the silver hairs, a lock of dark and shin ing brown. My next visitor was a lady, extensive ly got up, of imposing height and car riage, rouged, scented, spectacled. “We meet under singular circum stances,” began this lady, with a conde scending haughtiness ; “I am ihe prin cipal of a college for young ladies.” With a deferential bow at the honor done me, I begged to know what had pro cured it. “In the hours of recreation we are accustomed to promenade in the park— a delightful spot, so suggestive of the blushing country. During Our ramble yesterday a young lady under my charge swas so unfortunate as to lose her ring. 4> ?ou, sir, are the fortunate finder.” ■ “I certainly did, madam, pick up a ring, but—” . “ Ah, how grateful my pupil will be at ide-Awake, Independent, t>xit Neutral in IVotliing. beholdiiig it again! ” exclaimed the teacher of youth, clasping her hands ec statically. ‘ ‘ Describe it. ” “Describe it! A diamond ring, hand some and massive, but plain.” “And the crest? ” “The crest 1 Ah, that my yoimg charge were with me! Stupid to have forgotten. The crest of the Deloraines. It is a lion, passant or— ? No, lam wrong. Unfortunate that she should be too unwell to accompany me. But it is immaterial; I will take it for her inspec tion; she will recognize it immediately.” “I fear, madam, that I should scarcely be justified—” “Sir!” “I feel it my duty,” I said, firmly, “under the circumstances, to take every precaution against mistakes. I trust the young lady is not too seriously in disposed to give you the necessary in formation. ” “Very well, sir. Exceedingly w’ell, sir. I fancied—yes, actually fancied— that I was speaking to a gentleman. You will find, sir, that the lady principal of a female college is not to be insulted with impunity. Good morning ” Very harrowing this. I am scarcely recovered from my lady governess, when there is a dash of wheels to the door, and a young fellow, flinging the reins to a groom in livery, springs up the steps to the door-bell. “ Oh, dash it!” he begins, breathing out a volume of stale tobacco, “I beg your pardon, and that, but the old wom an—dash it! that’s my mother—told me I should find my ring here ; so I ordered out the vessel and the cats and spun along like ninepence for it.” “ I shall be very glad to restore the ring I was so unfortunate to find when I can discover its owner.” “ Discover ! dash it! didn’t I tell you it’s mine ? I say, I wish you wouldn’t be so precious slow—l don’t want the cats to catch cold—l’ve just had ’em shampooed, y’ know, napthsed, and that. ” ‘ ‘ What sort of a ring was yours ?” “What sort? Oh, come, as if you didn’t know—that’s good. ” I intimated that 1 should be glad to find out if he knew. . “ Not know my own ring, eh ! I know it’s worth a couple of ponies. Come, jet’s hear the damage and I’ll stump up. ” “I cannot give up the ring unless you describe it.” “ O, dash it ! don’t chaff a fellow now. I don’t care a hap about the thing, only it belonged to some defunct party, and the governor would cut up so deuced rough. I’ve got heaps of ’em. Come, I’ll swap you anyone of these because of governor. ” I respectfully declined the proposal. “ Well, dash it,” explained the young fellow, as though struck with a sudden idea, “ what a couple of muffs we are ! I could tell you in a minute if it’s mine, dash it!” I replied that I was very sorry that I could not oblige him, and, adding that he had better obtain an exact descrip tion of the thing from his governor, I recommended him not to keep the cats longer in the cold. Mem. lam getting exceedingly tired of my treasure-trove. I retire to my room with a view of dressing to go out. I am informed that a lady wishes to see me, and I am afraid my mental calcula tion was not complimentary to the lady in question. A tali, graceful figure, draped in heavy mourning, rises at my entrance. She opens the negotiation *m some confus ion, turning away her face. She has come to me in the hope of regaining a ring, carelessly lost, the parting gift of a fond father to her brother and herself. My eyes rested on the crape about her dress—on her pale, beautiful face, from which the blush of confusion and timid ity had faded. Deferentially I request her to describe it. “A large diamond, handsome,” she believed, “ but valuable to her for far other reasons.” “ But,” I said, gently, “ chased on the gold inside the ring there is—” “A crest; lam aware of it,” she an swered, sadly, “but I know nothing of heraldry, and have never given it more than a second glance. My brother is dying, sir,” she said, lifting up her pale face to mine. “ Only this morning he missed the ring from my finger, uneas ily ; we were alone in the world; it is the only relic left of one so lately taken from us ; how can I tell him it is lost ?” “lam sorry to pain you,” I said, try ing to be firm. “but it would be more satisfactory for all parties, and cause but little delay, if you could obtain the description from your brother.” Without a word she turned away; the mournful resignation of her air and at titude touched me, and as she turned I saw a tear roll silently down and fall upon the hand stretched to the door handle. I couldn’t stand it. “ Stop,” I exclaimed, “ one moment. lam sure—l feel certain—l may trust you. You will tell me—” I take the ring from its security; I hold it out timidly for the blue eyes to examine. I see vet the look of delight over spread lier fine features—l see the ex pression of almost childish pleasure in her eyes as she looked up at me and clasped her hands and cried out: “ The ring, the ring! O, Alfred, my dear brother! ” Her hand was upon it; such a tremu lous, bappy eagerness in her glance; such a caressirg fondness in her way of fingering it How pretty she was. “My dear child (I am 45), it gives me sincere pleasure—” Then I stam mered ; then I sprang after her. “At least you will leave your address with me.” * INDIAN SPRING, GEORGIA. “ Ah, sir,” she says, sruiir, handing me the card on which she had been pen ciling, “some day you will be sorry for this. You do not trust me. ” Certainly lam a brute. The accent of reproach in her voice haunts hie; the sorrowful glance of her eye—how pretty she is ! I sit down to my breakfast in the morning, half inclined to call at the address given, and apologize for my heathenish distrust. How delightful to see her in her own peculiar atmosphere, ministering to the sick brother wlio is all she has in the world ; to look upon, if one cannot en joy, the beautiful tenderness of a gentle sister to an aiilicted brother. But my letters wait, and I toy with them. This is a hand I know. What does Fred want, I wonder? I tear it open ! I read : Drau Jack : What a queer chance if you have stumbled upon my ring. I was obliged to run down to Rumford late last evening, and never missed it till we slackened at Ilford. A pretty taking I’ve been in. If it’s mine, the civ A is inside. You know it—a mailed hand holding a lance, and the motto: “ Armed at all points.” Verily, truth is stranger than fic tion. Keep it for me. Fred Fvnino. Idiot! Gull! It is quite uselesS to call myself names. Ic is almost super fluous to add that when I called at a cer tain address in Easton Square, to in quire for Miss Lucy Hamilton, the lady was not to be found. Probably the “dear Alfred” had required speedy change of air; probably brother and sis ter were even embracing in rapturous gratitude over the relic of one lost to them so lately. Was that dear one not lost, but transformed ? Had the silver haired patriarch of the first visit changed to the dashing buck of the third ? And was the virtuous teacher of youth only the tender sister in masquer ade? On my word, I believe so ; I dare say they are enjoying the joke. Possi bly it is a dodge often repeated. But what am I to say to Fred ? Afraid of Being Cheated. The uneducated mind does not see through those forms by which business is transacted. There is a well-known story of two honest Dutch neighbors. One of them, Hans, borrowed twenty dollars from the other, Jacob. “Mustn’t I give you a writing for dis, Jacob?” said honest Hans, as he pocketed the money. “Yah, dat is what they do, I dinks.” Hans scrawled something which that lie had borrowed twenty dollars from Jacob, and would repay him as soon as he could. He handed it to Jacob. “No, I don’t keep this,” answered Jacob, scratching his head, as if in doubt. ‘ ‘You must keep so dat you’ll know you owe me de money.” A similar perplexity as to a written promise to pay, once sent an honest but ignorant hosier out of a court room, in hot haste, lest he should be cheated. In the early days of Indiana, the lawyer used to follow the. courts in the different counties. “Biding the circuit,” it was called, aud demanded horses that could struggle through mud-roads and swim over deep, rapid streams. During a court session, a lawyer bar gained for a pony for twenty-five dollars, on a credit of six months. The next day the owner brought the pony, but required security for the payment of the price. The lawyer drew a note at the top of a sheet of fools-cap, and signed it. His brother lawyers, some twenty in number, signed it, and then the "court—three judges—wrote down their names. The lawyer presented the thoroughly signed note to the man and was surprised to bear bim say: “Do you think lam a fool, to let you get the court and all the lawyers on your side? I see you mean to cheat me out of my pony. ” Up jumped the alarmed man, ran out of court, mounted the pony aud galloped for home as fast as the horse could carry him. Wouldn’t Call Yames. Bill Jones had been to sea, and, on his return, he was relating to his uncle an adventure which he met with on board a ship. “ I was one night leaning over the taffrail, looking down into the mighty ocean,” said William, “when my watch fell from my pocket, and im mediately sunk out of sight. The vessel was going ten knots an hour ; but, noth ing daunted, I sprang over the rail, and, after a long search, found the watch, came up close under the stem, and climbed back to the deck without any one knowing I had been absent.” “William,” said his uncle, opening his eyes to their widest capacity, “how fast did you say the vessel was sailing ? ” “ Ten knots an hour,” replied William. “And you dived down into the sea, William, and came up with the watch, and climbed up the rudder chains ? ” “ Yes, uncle.” “ And you expect me to believe your story?” “Of course,” re plied William, “you wouldn’t dream of calling me a liar ? ” “William,” said his uncle, gravely, “you know I never call anybody names ; out if the Mayor were to come to me and say, ‘ Josiah, I want to find the biggest liar in town,’ I would come straight to you and say, * William, the Mayor wants to see you. INI. Amedee GumLEsrnv, in hig new >ork, in the French language, on comets, calls them “the vagabonds of the heav ens.” He quotes the following prophetic passages, translated from the Latin of Seneca, written eighteen centuries ago, and fulfilled in mod am times by the combined efforts of many astronomers. “ Some future day a man will arise who will demonstrate in what part of the heavens the motions of comets take place, why they move so far distant from the other planets, what is their magnitude and what their nature, ” Onr Breakfasts. The American’s breakfast bill of fare is varied but little: beefsteak, fried or baked potatoes, griddle cakes with syrup, or hot muffins and biscuit, are the arti cles he sighs for aud will have, despite the threatenings of dyspepsia. Across the water, they shudder at the American breakfast, while they discuss their chocolate, delicate rolls, soft-boiled eggs and fruit, with appetite. To those accustomed to more hearty food, it seems at first sight as if it would be impossible to accomplish tho work or half the day upon a breakfast of rolls, eggs, and chocolate; yet after one has become ac customed to the habit, it is difficult to partake of a more substantial meal early in the day without discomfort. And surely a breakfast of chocolate, rolls— fresh baked, but not hot—oatmeal, eggs and fruit, is fit for a king. It is varied, nutritious, delicate, and easy to digest, and it contains nothing fried. If we could only banish the saucepan’s con tents from our breakfast-table, and bring up our children equally to dread Satan and shun that which is fried! How many little ones in this free land, after cheer fully munching their crisp, greasy pota toes, and hot fried pork or beefsteak, enter the school-room to fall into all kinds of trouble. Their brains are disorgan ized by the indigestible food they have eaten. If we should feed them upon milk, oatmeal, and such nourishing things in the morning, with plenty of rare, broiled beefsteak at noon, they might not develop immediatelyin to little angels, perhaps, but they certainly would have rosier cheeks and brighter minds. The question of what one shall eat is in exhaustible, however, aud every one has a different opinion concerning it. It is the business of the housewife to know something about the subject from a chemical standpoint, and to regulate the dinners of her family so that they may not only bo palatable but healthful. Pies, puddings, rich pastry of all kinds, in fact, should always be tabooed in a family where there are no children; but after these are denied a diet may be pre scribed which is at once wholesome and appetizing. There is a great deal in the manner of preparing food to render it harmless. For instance, the oyster, either broiled, stewed, or raw, is the most easily digested of edibles; but fried, it stands revealed as the father of night mares. Yet, such is the contrariness of human nature, most people prefer it fried ! Few of us can resist a dish of crisp, smoking oysters thus prepared, even at breakfast time, though it be much more virtuous to eat a buttered roll. An unruly appetite leads us into all manner of troubles. The Champion Liar. The most abled-bodied liar on this continent is now on the staff of the San Francisco Chronicle , and that paper is justly proud of his brilliant mendacity. Gifted as others have been in this line, the ’Frisco man discounts (hem all and gives them as many points as they wish at the beginning of the game. His gen ius in this respect is probably the result of the “glorious climate of California,” ably seconded by that training which only Chicago or San Francisco can give. His most imposing and massive false hoods are always in the medical line. A while ago he gave an accout of a physi cian who removed a condemned criminal’s brain, piece by piece. The top of the unfortunate culprit’s head would lift off like a lid, so that any inquisitive person could gaze at the empty shell. To do the doctor justice it must be admitted that he kept the scooped-out head filled with cotton, so that the brainless man could not catch cold. No doubt Califor nia is so accustomed to see men without brains that this story passed current there. This man, we presume, is now an estimable citizen oi San Francisco, going around with a lump of cotton in stead of brains. Again, this chronicler wrote of a physician who fixed up a bath that would freeze solid in an instant, by touching an electric knob. By mistake the physician got into the bath, some one touched the knob, and in a moment the doctor was ready to be loaded on an ice wagon. The latest yarn appeared last week. Barney McGee, probably a descendant of the “Bouncing Barney McGee” celebrated in an old Irish song, drove a street car till he got a disease that softened all his bones. Barney was about to collapse when Dr. Bishop took him in hand and ossified Mr. McGee on theoutside. He procured bone material at the stock yards and covered Barney with a shell—in fact, made a human oys ter of him. Barney has no bones inside, but his outside shell prevents collapse and although he is a little stiff in his manner he gets along all right.— Detroit Free Press. • Jonah in the Whale’s Belly. Two hundred years ago Dr. Zachary Boyd wrote the following quaint descrip tion of Jonah in the whale’s belly. He was a minister of the barony parish of Glasgow, and Rector of its Uni versity : V hat house is this, where’s neither coal nor candle, Where nothing but guts of fishes handle? I and my table are both within, Where day ne’er dawned, where sun did never shine. The like of this on earth man never saw, A living man within a monster’s maw, Buried under mountains which are high and steep, Plunged under waters hundreds fathoms dee?. Not so with Noah, from his house of tree, For through a window he a light did see; He sailed above the highest waves—a wonder; I and my boat are all the waters under; He, in his arke, might goe, and also oorne. But I sit still in such a straitened roome As is most uncouthe, head and feet together, Among such grease as a thousand smother. I find no way now for my shrinking hence, But here I lye, and die for mine offense, Eight prisoners were in Noah’s hulk together; Comfortable they were, each one to the other, In all the earth like unto me is none; Far from all living, I here lye alone. SU6SCRIPTION-*51.60. NUMBER 24. Ye Olden Days. Thirty years ago Michigan people wen a frank and truthful set Strangers could come here and trade horses with their eyes shut, and breach of promiss cases were unknown. Folks meant what they said, and when they gave theii word, stuck to it. Thirty years ago a widower from New York State appeared in Lansing on busi ness. That same business carried him over to DeWitt, eight miles away. Whilf en route he stopped at a log farm hous to warm his cold fingers. He was warm* ly welcomed by the pioneer and his wife, both of whom were well along in years, and after some general talk, the woman queried: “Am I right in thinking you a wid ower?” “Yes.” “Did you come out here to find a wife?” “Partly.” “Did anybody tell vou of our Susie?” “No.” “Well, we have got as bouncing a girl of twenty-two as you ever set eyes on. She’s good-looking, healthy and good tempered, aud I think she ll like your looks.” “Where is she?” “Over in the woods, here, chopping down a coon tree. Shall I blow the horn for her ?” “No. If you’ll keep an eye on my horse I'll find her.” “Well, there’s nothing stuck up or affected about Susio. She’ll say yes or no as soon as she looks you over. If you waut her, don’t be afraid to say so.” The stranger heard the sound of her ax and followed it. He found her just as the tree was ready to fall. She was a stout, good-lookiug girl, swinging the ax like a man, and in two minutes he had decided to say: “Susie, I’m a widower from New York State; I’m thirty-nine years old, have one child, own a good farm, and I want a wife. Will you go back home with me?” She leaned on the ax and looked at him for half a minuto, and then replied: “Can’t say for certain. Just wait till I get these coons off my mind. ” She sent the tree crashing to the earth, and with his help killed five coons, which Avere stowed aAvay in a holloAV. “Well, what do you say?” he asked, as the last coon stopped kicking. *. “I’m your’n!” Avas the reply? **and by the time you get back from DeWitt I’ll have these pelts off and tacked up, and be ready for the preacher !” He returned to the house, told the old folks that he should brihg a preacher back A\dtli him, and at dusk that evening the twain were married. Hardly an hour had been wasted in courting, and yet he took home one of the best girls in the State of Michigan.— Detroit Free Press, Actresses’ Arts. A great many tricks of stage costume spring from personal defects. In what ever cut of waist Modjeska appears, there is always a bunch of flowers or bow placed at the left of her open corsage. When this device is not resorted to, a little strap of silk will be trailed across diagonally, or a little fan of laoe will sud denly spring from the left corner, in or der to hide a scar on the breast that looks as if it might be the result of a wound from a poniard, “souvenir” of a romance. Poor Lucille Western was afflicted by a birth-mark. She was a regular female Esau. About her waist there was a thick growth of silky brown hair, which ran up to a point in front. Where it came above the tops of her dresses was carefully shaved, but the skin aPlays remained blue. So Lucille wore a huge cross dangling just above that portion of her anatomy. Parepa Rosa had a deep vaccination scar far down her robust arm, and when her sleeves were very short a knot of ribbon or a trail of flowers used to cover it. Before she grew so extremely stout, she wore a golden band above the elbow to hide it, but when her armlet got to be as big as a waistcoat she abandoned the oddity. One night, speaking of the scar to an American girl who sat in her dress ing-room, the Yankee offered Parepa an immediate and effectual concealment of the offending spot. She took one of the candles off the toilet table, and holding it above the arm let one drop of the melted wax fall upon the place, and there was no further need of concealing devices. A dash of flesh-tinted powder completed the cure, and Parepa’s make up-box forever after contained a bit of wax candle. —New York Mirror. Thought it Was a Mouse. The Newburyjjort (Mass.) Herald re lates the following incident: A short time since an elderly lady of this city startled the household with a piercing shriek and the information that there was a mouse in her pocket. Someone rushed to her rescue, hastily assisted her to divest herself of her wrapper, firmly grasping the mouth of the pocket to prevent the escape of the dangerous animal. The garment was then turned over to the man of the house, and he, armed with a club, proceeded to the back yard to dispatch the offender. The pocket was epened gradually, but no mouse appeared. Final ly, gaining courage, he ventured to in vestigate, and found the cause of all the excitement to be a pocket tape measure, from which the spring had become de tached and had unwound with a whirr. Some fellow has figured out that Van derbilt’s income would allow bim to visit 8,009 circusses, eat 20,000 pints of pea nuts, and drink 5,000 glasses of lemon ade every day in the year.