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W. F. SMITH, Publisher. VOLUME VIII. NEWS GLEANINGS. There are 8,456 masons in Alabama. Jacksonville, Ala., has excellent water works. Aberdeen has the largest hotel in the State of Mississippi. Alabama ranks fifteenth in the pro duction of iron. There are five hundred Sunday-schools in Mississippi. There are 1,100 miners at Pratt Mines, Ala., 175 being convicts. Birmingham’s (Ala,) assessments for I double those of 1880. The Texas and Pacific railway track now laid 202 miles west of Dallas. A large furniture factory is being ressfully operated in Shreveport, La. Macon county, Alabama, is out of • < >t, no one in jail, and the sheriff nds his time fishing. attle, in considerable numliers, are 'i -ing below Chattanooga, Tennessee, of ome unknown disease. Enough sweet potatoes will be made hi Florida this year to supply the Uni fed States. A mammoth hotel is to be erected at the Hot Springs, Arkansas, by a com pany from Maine. Six hundred new horses and mules are required to supply the demand at Abbeville, S. 0., every vear. Twenty-nine hundred and fifty agri cultural liens have been filed in Fair field, s. 0. The members of the broken bank at Aberdeen, Mississippi, have been indic t< i under the new statute which makes it . penal offense to receive money on U'l'osit in a bank when in a failing con dition. Ihe Macon (Ga.) Telegraph and Mes senger reports the arrival of a member of tile fish commission with 1,800,000 '"M, whTclT~were promptly placed in <; cnulgee river. •vuoxville (Tenn.) Tribune: United - * itos Senetor Howell .E. Jackson, of Tennessee, has purchased the elegant residence of AV. B. Shaw, on Vermont venue, Washington, at a cost of $20,000. v'f A . % ‘ v * \ '’■ I'liifiin University, at Orangeburg, S. is for colored students exclusively, ml. is supported by thp State. Cunnec i with it, by special act of the Legis itwro, is a branch of the State Agricul < ural College and a Mechanics’ Institute, t4u university as a whole being directed iy co-operating boards of trustees. The niversity has three departments—col normal school and grammar school, tu,total number for 1880-81 numbered v '\ Oonncrted with the university is lie Baker Tlieologica’ Institute, where | oung men are trained for the ministry. General Francis A. Walker, superin tendent of the United States census, telegraphs to the Enquirer-Sun, of Co in minis, Ga., that a clerical error has l>een made in the population of Colum bus. It should be 10,123. The Enquirer- Sun says that this is correct according to the returns made by the enumerators, but adds: “We are confident that it falls short of the population of the city by more than two thousand inhabitants. AS ithin three-quarters of a mile of the court-house there is a population of not less than twenty thousand people, but we can not claim them, even though nearly every one is directly engaged in business in the eitv.” The Two Girls of Frostburg. Two young ladies for the past four vears have had control of a farm of one hundred and sixty acres near Frostburg. They have plowed, sowed, reaped, built fences, raised hogs aud performed the other countless duties incident to a pastoral life. In addition to their out side duties the care of a widowed and in valid mother has been a tax on their energies. One of the ladies is a shoe maker and all work of that kind used by ohe family is executed by her. The home m which they live is large and \> m 7 yet these two girls, whose ages, t uhe v,are twenty-two and twenty, havJ made all the carpet, and made it * Jr* *°°> painted a number of farm jhe® and family portraits in oil, and *** up the otherwise vaoant spots with etc. Besides, the fact that \ - 7 are good musicians, the fact that never shock your refined ear with - vTummatical remarks, is also note * rt hy. Go to that much-abused village nxsuatawney, and, after inquiring . he location of Frostburg, walk iat direction just three miles and w ill reach the home-made home n “aand Manilla Black.— Pittsburg Orchard to part from those we rm' , ai M sometimes it is even more to get away troin those we don’t tfove. CSHfc % / j|% Uneklah Jones, Kdilor or the Flapdoodle, I>rw* a Few Sketches from Mature. (From the Steubenville Herald.] The editor of the Evening Flapdoodle sat in his sanctum the other morning just before beginning Iris day’s work, and thought he had brought his paper about as near perfection as possible for an ordi nary-sized town close to a half dozen big cities, and he was wondering how he might further improve it, when his cogi tations were interrupted by an acquaint ance coming in. “Hello, Mr. rAssors,” he facetiously said, “writing up editorials with the shears, eh?” The editor tried to smile at the old joke, and the visitor went on. “I tell you what it is, Jones, you have a pretty good paper, but what do you want in a town like this with long editorials ? Give us short ones. You can’t mold publio sentiment, you must simply echo it.” Then he left, and Jones told his associate not to write any long editorials that day, as he proposed, for once, to make the Flapdoodle just to suit every subscriber who wanted a change. In a half hour along came a wicked fellow who talked newspaper a long while, and then said he didn’t see any use of Sunday reading, nor any other religious matter in a pa l>er, and if it wms his he would bounce it all. The editor said nothing, but when the man went away he told his Sunday .editor not to send any matter for that day. Then Jones rested and thought for a few minutes, and a pious old party dropped in. As he knew a good deal about the business in its moral aspect, he talked along, and at last said that no nepspajer could be decent which ad mitted* to its columns any sensational matter, any advertisements other than thg mgst any slangy squibs, of anything which could not be read without f§ blush by the most capriciously fastidious. Jones was silent, but later he went and ordered all that matter set aside. So far, Jones thought he was getting things to suit pretty well, and then another man came in, and like the others, knew all about the business of editing a paper. He was a city politi cian, and said, “Mr. Jones, you don’t have enough politics. Why don’t you throw out these farm notes, and kitchen receipts, and odds and ends of old news, and telegraphic brevities which we get in the other pa pers and give us politics? That’s what the children cry for. ” Again was Jones silent and later gave orders for the ex pulsion of all this objectionable matter and waited for the next one. He came pretty soon, and he had a coffin for a coat and a shroud for a handkerchief, and he smelt like the dust which blows off of a skeleton. Said he, *‘Jones, I like your paper, but what do you run that funny business in it for? It’s silly, stale, and flatter than last year’s ale with the bottle left open. What does a man want to laugh for anyhow? This is a vale of tears and -we should always remember that in the uncertainty of life death may cut us off with an idle laugh upon our lips.” “That’s so,” groaned Jones. “I’ll cut every line of fun right out,” and off he hurried and out went all the funny business. As he went home at noon he met a lady who said she didn’t see what they wanted to fill a paper full of politics for, because nobody read that. “Don’t they?” said Jones, “then out she goes,” and when he got back it all went out. * ‘l’m bound to please ’em all” said the editor, “If I have to buy anew of fice.” Right after dinner a man of business proclivities came in and said he didn’t see any use of “these silly little per sonals and,them short local items that didn’t amount to anything anyway. ” If /t waa his paper he would have some thing of a higher nature or let the place go bare.'" 1 Jones listened and told the Mvio&ii to whack out all that sort of tbgff at once. Then he felt easier, till a lot of pretty girls came in, and, after making a purchase, asked him what a newspaper was filled full of advertise ments f<jg- nobody ever read them, and one said she was going to stop taking the paper if he was going to fill it up that way. Jones told the young lady he would have a paper to suit" every one, or , rather made after the suggestions of everyone, and he hoped she would not find fault. Then he went and or dered out every ‘ad.’ and smack and smooth, and waited for the next- man. He came along pretty Sfton, and said he could stand anything out poetry, and that was his abomina tion in®newspaper, and it never ought io encojpter the columns of a local jour pal, because it was meant For and thfiT sort of papers. Jones took it .in, and went out and ordered all his fine Ikvotfd to Indmtrial Interest, the Diffnsion of Truth, the Establishment ef Jastite, and tOST, A BOT. ■Jr went from the old home hearthstone, Only six years ago, A laughing, frolicking fellow, It would do you good to know. Bince then we have not see him, And we say, with nameless pain, The bov that we knew and loved so We shall never see again. One bearing the name we gave him Comes home to us to-day, But this is not the dear fellow r , We kissed and sent away. Tall as tho man he calls father, With a man’s look in his face, Is he who takes by the hearthstone The lost boy’s olden place. We miss the laugh that made music Wherever the lost boy went. This man has a smile most winsome, His eyes have a grave intent: W e know he is thinking and planning His way in the world of men, And we cannot help but love him, But we long for our boy again. We are proud of this manly fellow Who comen to take his place, With hints of the vanished boyhood In his earnest, thoughtful face; And yet comes back the longing For the boy we henceforth must miss, Whom we sent away from the hearthstone Forever with a kiss. THE NEWSPAPER. poetry knocked down. Then he waited again, and a woman came in, and said the fashion notes were no good, because the magazines had them all in greater quantity, and another thing she didn’t like, was the markets. “What good was them!” she said. “ I don’t know,” he replied, “ so I’ll throw ’em out.” “ I hope you will,” she answered, and went away. In ten minutes the markets and fashions were on the standing galley. Jones began to look around, and as he was studying, a small boy said to him that “marriage and death notices was mighty thin readin’,” and Jones slung them clear out into the comer. After this change he went over into the count ing room, and an old man was there waiting to pay his subscription. “ It’s a good paper, Jones, but in this place you only want to take notice of local affairs, and let all the miscellaneous and general business go,” and—then Jones gave the old fellow a receipt and rushed back and took out all the miscellaneous and gen eral matter that was left, and as he took out the last handful a friend came through the office and critically examin- ing his surroundings, said, “ The Flap doodle is a good paper, Jones, but I do think you have the ugliest head on it I ever saw. Why don’t you change it? I’m certain I never would let such a head appear on a paper of mine.” “All right,” said Jones, and off came the head. “Now, Mr. Foreman,” he con tinued, “lockup the forms and send them down to the press room.” The forms were duly locked and went down, and the paper came out and was dis tributed as usual. The next morning, the politician, and the solemn man, the friend, the school girl, the woman, the small boy, and all the rest of them were standing around the Flap doodle office with blank sheets of paper in their hands; not a line, not a word, not a sign of anything on it but column rules, with nothing between. “How is this?” said each to the other, “and where’s that fool editor, to impose on us in this way ?” While they were thus talking, the devil came in with a letter from the editor, which the old man read to the orowd. It ran as follows: “Dear friends, you all think you know how to run a newspaper, and when you come to me with your suggestions I hate to tell you differently, so I have fol lowed your advice and you see what you have Us the result. If you will be kind enough to mind your own business half as well 'as I do mine, and try to t.hiTik I know a little something, while you don’t know it all, I will give you a good newspaper, and whenever I don’t give you your money’s worth, then come and tell me so, but don’t come telling me how I should do my work, when I have devoted years to it, and you have never given it an hour’s study. “I am yours truly, “Hezekiah Jones, “Editor Flapdoodle.” Then these good people looked at their blank paper and their blank faces, and not one said a word except the pro fane man, who remarked, “Damme, the editor is right; let’s go and mind our own business,” and Jones crept out from behind the counter, and that evening issued a tip-top paper, chuck full of all sorts of personal and local items, and news, and everything, and there was peace in that town for the space of a long time. The Fox’s Advice to the Hare. One day a fox discovered a fine chance to capture a pullet for his dinner, the only drawback being the fact that the | farmer had set a trap just in the path j which any depredator must travel. In } this emergency the hungry Reynard 1 bunted around until he found a hare, and, after a few remarks on the state of the weather, the scramble for office, the Whittaker investigation and the Turkish question, he said: “I was just thinking, as I overtook you, what impudence some folks have.” “How?” “Why, I met Miss Pullet a short time since, and she boasted of being able to out-run you.” “ The brassy creature !” exclaimed the hare. “Why, I can run as fast as she can fly!” “ Certainly you can, but she’s doing you great injury among your friends by her stories. If I were you I’d see her and warn her that this thing must stop. ” “Til do itl I was built for speed, and everybody knows it, and I won’t have no pullet boasting that she can out run me. Come along, and show me where she is.” “Well, I’ll go as a special favor to you, of course/’ humbly replied the fox, “ and, to show Miss Pullet what the foxes think of the hares, I will let you take the lead and follow in your footsteps.” As they neared the coop the hare be gan to arrange a little speech of greet ing, but he soon had other fish to fry. He walked into the trap with eyes wide open, and ere he had recovered from the shock the fox had secured his dinner. “Sayl Say! I’m caught 1” yelled the hare, as he struggled with the trap. “So I observe,” was the reply. “And what is your advice?” “ To get away as soon as you can !” Moral: Every neighborhood scandal has three lies to one truth. No person becomes a tale-bearer except to forward some scheme of his own. When a fox is anxious to preserve Hie reputation of a hare, let the hare look out —Detroit Free Frees. The following Is placarded in the theater at Durango, CoL: “From and after this date all persons who wish to gain admittance to Hie auditorium of the Coliseum must leave their weapons at the front bar, where checks will be i given for them.” j INDIAN SPRINGS, GE The Sou* . In the vinter fl ment of Virginia 9 ‘ ■ fl Second company fl v\ as oil.;; j. g H-7 ~ V ;'v, V7‘■j llfton. Her*? £ i ’ mteer had * pi * - ;*V■; l * ;!vVg '*‘l ’ I fl tute at Lexingtcfl ilpwf fl fl ins grvn> fl Uv, ,>r, wine* j i:e could t<> fl' regulations. One night lie 9 1 7 ? *f ••re the Seuß ■ -fl voice, Where lb t h fl av of o.rii, iiitity . „l ‘ : with any mfl appetite ffor allfl J member that an 9 ? I Kvfl I H f ’fl “It ain’t a poW ‘' : ' Y ‘‘l Where's yoifl9H**HSfl| 'Slurp, 1 "rcfl W!i\ do.. ' ij IM.in’t i ■ •• WduA corpufl ■" W v .. 1 fl fl the conversation® frying-pan, whi* ' • 'up i. . fl •fl .. t bUfiu u 9 ih ’•*> the army ?' ’ B * * •!/•/. ' *„. *i eighteen hours, H y|asß7j|', H replied the sent! * r 'isKl 5 1 fl •• W Orix u.,, .I^l ‘Why did \fl' ; 89M98989M88988 fl Vxnieifl • M * fl off some distaifl 1 pile of con* ''W '.T \\\ ’i v v, ‘l Hullo luci efl , ’ ' \ Wh ■ M fl fl "Oh! shuOfl ‘ “blame my hie* ■.. >- was Gen. Lee.fl , . Poet-I a 9 CU> , .'l:. fl 'laurel originate* was adopted bfl rowed this, as H > fl East. The pofl ( 'fl H tom was revive* , „ fl 1 U 1 1 *./7- * 7;; 'p\ Y'YV,v -i fl ar ii and fl-. . . ' fl afl Ben, rareold* • , - fl Edward IV, I p •_ e -ai ■ di H Cambridge, H . • ’p and Spenser fl ‘ ' ?| k of Queen El* *’ ing receive* , . 1 when he pro* ‘ TI f ' the * W “order” formally established by] James I, granted Ben jonson, by patent, an annuity for life of 100 marks, and thus st'cured his services. In 1630 the I&iixealteship was made a patent office in the gift of the Lord Chamberlain. The salary was increased from 100 marks to £lOO, and a tieroe of Canary wiue.was added, which was commuted in Southey’s time for £27 a year. There was from that period a regular succession of laureates. The performance of the anmiAl odes was suspended after the final derangement erf George HI in 1810. The poet-laureate from the time of Southey has written what he chose and and when he chose. Wordsworth tvrote nothing in return for the distinction, and Tennyson has written very little. The following is the list of the laureates from Jonson’s day to date; Ben Jonson .1630-1637 Wm. Davenport. 1637-1668 John Dryden 1670-1688 Thomas SnadweiL Nicholas Rowe Lawrence Eusden JJSIiJS Wm. Whitehead 1758-1785 Thomas Warton 2?S Henrv James Pye Robert Southey HJJiSK Wm. Wordsworth Alfred Tennvaon • • • I°° Wedding Anniversaries. The wedding anniversaries are as fol lows: First year, iron; fifth year, wooden; tenth year, tin; fifteenth year, crystal; twentieth year, china; twenty-fifth year, silver; thirtieth year, cotton; thirty-fifth year, linen; fortieth year, woolen; fortv fifth’year, ilk; fiftieth year, gold; sev enty-fifth year, diamond. SB's Rulers, 118 began with William |||H U comes in succession Lancaster, BBh the Commonwealth, and Hanover, was the sixth §W an dy. Henry 11, the was the son of |Hd, a direct descendant named Ironside, who of Ethelred Hnd King of the Anglo ■ Henryllr,A r , as the last (Richard II) left no S eldest son of John of ■i ancas hn’, fourth son of ■of Blanche, daughter ■nry Plantagenet, Duke Heat grandson of Henry H, the first of the House Hcended from tho fifth ■II, as the Lancastrian ■ended from the fourth ■sovereign. Henry VH, ■dors, was a descendant Imes I of England, and I was the son of Lord try Queen of Scots, and 'succession rested on his Syrians and antiquity, a t archseologisl rich will be i gains, of coi wives—to i idiom—will I their husbai gance; no and damsel if sld duty to offej Broom co country bjj seed on a q seeds from i beginning oj agricultural broom-maki Shakers, wlj gardens, m a sold them the profit l was soon od had rushed] discouraged is cultivate] A SIGNIJ ment upon I ly accomd Boston schl prominent I recently ® number of I from our I reason thal common Courier. I SUBSCRIPTIOIf*‘SI.SO. NUMBER 43. HUMORS OF THE DAY. Whkx things go to D K how C D the, t> come. Many a man who thinks himself a gun is nothing more than a big Keep cool and you command every body, remarked St. Just. He stood m with an ice company. A boy who won’t try is like truth, because the boy won’t endeavor and truth won t end ever, either. Money men, of many mind?. Talce to " straddles ” and to “ blintut.” Many bsh come in to see; Many gulls they prove to be.— Loicell Courier. Asa rube book-keepers are ink-lined to be pensive. Will someone kindly tell us if a blushing seamstress is not 'a flushed sewer? “There is no disgrace in being poor,” we are told, and we’re howling glad of it, for there are enough other disadvan tages about it. without that one. Maid of Y onkers, ere we buss, tell me will you make a fuss?—New York News. Alan of Gotham, ere you risk your life 11 me, will you inform your wife?— B>liysician says that if bath in hot whisky Bea .year, they will es- Btism and colds. But Bil the whisky? ■d says: “Why don’t ■ubstitute for the ever ■for breakfast?” Bless I do. Cowhide is the le. —Boston Post. 1 Eva, and when Charles | the other evening and his darling wifey, she .m from her and sweetly Eva. Some other Eva. 118- VI) clergyman was given Igß'o ‘‘The Sweet Bye and BBaiie asylum. Many pa- So was the clergy- IB moved him clear down you get them trous ||BErishman of a man who |H passing with a remark |B r of trousers. “I got By grew,” was the indig jß’ben, by my conscience,” Be pulled them a year too |B2Esthetic young lady |B^ r - Grosoftly, hfyve yon B ‘Science of Mind?’” jjß l not reading much now my time in original Beetle young lady (with B)— “How very dreary, to B first night aboard the Bast,” he said tenderly, B>ne, out upon the deep blue sea, and your B's beat for me as it has Bast?” “My heart’s all Bswered languidly, “but Bis awful.” Bou are accused of having Bainant’s pocket book; do Bor not guilty?” ‘ ‘Guilty, B“Whafc was the motive B>u to commit the crime?” ■oming due next day, and ■lie thought of having my ■d!” — Figaro. ' ,r B>and becomes angry and Biis family, he is not so I; he doesn’t know how it Ivife, really, is to blame— pear, too, to let him hear Isn’t this sound logic?— fe Journal. Well, we’ll ss—-that—is—we’ll be com that it is.— Steubenville gHagle and the Kite. ®Bverwhelmed with sorrow, of a tree in com |§|B you with such a rueful HHagle answered, “ I seek a SHfor me, and am notable to gWrake me,” responded the Umuch stronger than you. jHbrried oft' an ostrich in my IB eagle, persuaded by these the kite as a mate. Af- Hon, so to speak, was over, the kite to fly off and Hie ostrich it had promised, aloft and returned in Hiiserable little mouse in an Hte of decomposition from H time it had lain on the Hs this,” said the eagle, ■performance of your prom ■ The kite nnblushingly re ■ You must know that to ac ■ object there is no lie I will ■he only moral to this fable Bople should not always send Bslature the man who talks Bi his mouth.— Galveston ■ ef British Ministers. If list of the British Govern ■ the relative rank assigned Iton as a diplomatic station bpean powers. The British [Paris receives an annual sal -000 ; at Vienna, $40,000; at nple,-$40,000; at St. Peters. 100; at Berlin, $35,000; at 000; at Madrid even. $27,- at Washington Sir Edward i obliged to live on $25,000 considerable number of gl of grade the Eur<>. witli BBBBBHBHWfiitifaTrr -