The Middle Georgia argus. (Indian Springs, Ga.) 18??-1893, September 22, 1881, Image 1
W. F. SMITH, Publisher,
romiE ix.
TOPICS # THE DAT.
Chicago desire* to enlarge her bound
aries.
Ex-Senator A. G. Thurman is enjoy*
ing Switzerland,
\ knnor didn’t prophesy the drouth*
Mark tbCit down.
The general elections in Germany are
fixed for the end of October.
Nevada is willing to become a Terri
tory again. Finances are in bad shape,
Of thirty-two circuses now in this
country, every one of them is the largest.
An artesian well at Yankton, Dakota,
4C><) feet deep, Sows 150 gallons of water
per through a six-inch pipe.
Boston Coi orr, who shot Wilke*
Booth,'has applied for a pension for gen
eral disability, due to exposure in the
army.
Dr. Tanner is reported to have fallen
down stairs, at Amsterdam, and killed
himself, but as far as we can see, no
body believes it. •
The severe drouth has injured many
trees, us shown by the premature decay
ami faltyfig of the leaves. Roots near
the u 1-face hare been literally parched.
Jennie Junh says sorrowfully that the
female tourists abroad seem to have
chauged their natures and to have lost
some of their finest elements. Jennie
should particularize.
The Londoners call Wliitelaw Reid,
editor of the New York Tribune, who is
sojourning there with his bride, “ the
long, lank, lissom hollyhock.” That’s
right. Give it to him.
With the temperature at 100 degrees
iu the shade, coal advanced four cents a
bushel at Cincinnati, and is now’ quoted
at seventeen cents. This i6 owing to
the low condition of the river.
The Pope’s newspaper, recently de
funct, although it cost a mint of money
to conduct it, never attained a circula
tion of 1,000 copies, and Rome is pretty
sure now that papal organs won’t pay.
Among other effects of the drouth,
milk and butter have rapidly increased
iu price. There is no pasture worth
speaking of, and in almost all localities
it has been difficult to find enough water
for stock.
Mr. HonnowAY, the English maker of
pills, is reported to have given upward
of $3,750,000 for philanthropic purposes
during the last five or six years. No
body has intimated that it was con
science money.
An effort is being made in Italy to
have all Senators, as iu America, elected
by the people. Hulf of the Spanish
Senators are elected in this way, but the
remaining half are still elected for life
by the King.
The Chicago Tribune declares that
gambling has been made a legal insti
tution in that city, and that the only
city on the continent bearing a parallel
is New Orleans. Chicago has a bad
reputation, that’s a fact.
At the recent Scientific Congress at
Cincinnati a loarned savant read a paper
“on a mesal cusp of deciduous maudicu
lar canine of the domestic cat, Felis
domestica.” That is to say, it was the
cat, which was under consideration.
By a vote of thirty-four to five, the
Georgia Seriate has passed an anti-Mor
mon bill which makes it a felony for any
person, by persuasion or otherwise, to
attempt to mislead or influence others in
the crime of bigamy or polygamy.
As soon as the President is able, it is
proposed by Ms physicians to remove
bim into a more congenial atmosphere.
The malarial influences about Washing
ton are excessively injurious to the pa
tient’s speedy recovery.
Btreet begging has been suppressed
In Philadelphia, and other cities will
probably emulate her example. The
tanner has no redress. In the greatness
of bis heart he is expected to endure
the ills of life and quietly grit his teeth
to himself. _
John Hancock’s chair, the one in
vhieh he sat when he signed his name
to the Declaration of Independence,
now stands in St. Paul’s Church, at Nor
folk, Virginia. It was built for a big
man, which John was, by all measure
ments.
Susie Hayden, at New Bedford, Mass.,
five months ago, became unconscious
during religious excitement, and has re
mained in a stupor ever since, but now
shows some signs of returning intelli
gence. It seems that religion, like other
things, must be taken in moderation.
Several oilers, one of them bidding as
high as £2O, have been made for Mr.
Bradlaugli’s coat, tom in ejecting him
from Parliament. He replies that the
garment is not for sale; that ‘ ‘ payment
for its tearing will be made by his foes,
and until that payment has been exacted
the coat has a very special value as a re
minder.”
So low are the finances of the Sultan
of Turkey that no baker or butcher will
deliver the wherewithal for a meal at
the Yildi y Kiosk unless paid in advance
for the same. It is rumoied that, to
meet this emergency, the Sultan is
clandestinely disposing of, to Russia,
the remaining men-of-war at his dis
position.
Jay Gould, while speaking of the
wounded President, said: “I am very
sorry for the President’s wife; very
sorry, indeed,” and now the Chicago
Inter Ocean flys off the handle at a
great rate at his excessive tender-hearted
ness. A man does not have to be very
tender-hearted to sincerely express that
sentiment.
A prominent manufacturer of glycer
ine in New York City says the demand
for the article for the manufacture of
nitro-glycerine has been unprecedented
during the past fortnight. Whether
this briskness is for the Irish or the
Russian market he was unable to say, as
he only furnishes the raw material, not
the finished goods.
Massachusetts is incompatible
worse; she is a bubbling mass of do
mestic infelicity. Within a period of
one year, England, with a population of
24,000,000, reports only 800 legal separa
tions (or divorces) whereas Massachu
setts, the model commonwealth, reports
over 600. Massachusetts is where they
have about ten women to one man.
Selina J. Gray, and hbr husband.
William Gray, have brought suit in the
U. S. Court at Cincinnati against tfie
Cincinnati Railroad Company under the
Civil Rights law, asking damages in the
sum of $50,000. Selina, who is a
colored lady, avers that she had pur
chased a ticket from Cincinnati to Lex
ington, Ky., and that when she at
tempted to enter the ladies’ car, she was
refused admission by force. So it goes.
The following from the Cincinnati
Commercial is mitigating, although
truthful : “Sorrow breaks out in spots
over “ the impending failure of the
Star Route prosecutions.” But it dees
not matter whether two or three fellows
are inserted in the penitentiary. A fraud
has been exposed, and the public busi
ness upon which a great swindle was
fastened, is made economical and rep
utable.”
Several artesian wells at Cincinnati
are flowing successfully. An artesian
well, in a season of drouth, is an inval
uable thing, and communities are learn
ing by experience their importance. In
1833 the French Government began
sinking an artesian well in the suburb
of Paris, which was completed in 1841,
at a depth of 1,792 feet, when the water
spurted 112 feet above its top and con
tinues yet to run in a constant stream,
discharging 500,000 gallons per diem.
In an effort to sink an artesian well, St.
Louis failed at a depth of 3,000, feet,
whereas Cincinnati is successful at a
depth of 400 feet. Low geological for
mations are essential to secure a good
flow.
Courting in the Arctic Regions.
Ah, yes, fond youth ! It may be very
nice to court a girl in the far northern
countries where the nights are six
months long; but just think of the vast
amount of peanuts and gum-drops the
young man, when going to see his girl,
must lug along with him in order to kill
time, and induce her to believe that his
affection for her is as warm as ever.
And then the sad leave-taking a few
weeks before sunrise! He whispers
“ Good-night, love,” and she softly
murmurs, “ Good-night, dear. When
shall I see you again?” “To-morrow
night,” he replies, as he kisses her up
turned face. “ Tomorrow night,” she
repeats, with a voice full of emotion.
“Six long, weary months 1 Can’t you
nail around a few days before breakfast,
Charles?” Finally Charles tears him
self away, with a promise to write her
one hundred and sixty letters before the
next day draws to a close.
A Sad Anniversary.
After having waited the ten regulation
months Madame de B. remarried at the
beginning of the eleventh.
“ Are you happy ? ” an intimate friend
asked, soon after.
“ Extremely so ; my second husband
is charming, amiable—he does every
thing he can to please me; there is only
one thing that is disagreeable.”
“And that is?”
“ That it will soon be the first anni
versary of the other’s death! ”
Lioird to lutiii&tfiai iiiter.st, the Diffu ioi! o: Troth, riia E*t^ u ~ yof Justin, aJ tiie Pxeservatiac of z People Government.
INDIAN SPRINGS, GEORGIA.
THAT DAT,
BT EVA A. B. BARNES.
The day was one of those sweet, rare days
That only come with June,
When hearts breathe forth instinctive praiae
And pulses are io tune ;
And o’er the hUI and o’er the lea
My own true lover came to me
That day.
I know that skies were never so blue,
Or flowers e’re half so sweet,
And De’er a road so smoothly white
Did lie ’neath trees that bend to greet,
As where we met, my lover and I,
Met once in spite of our destiny
That day.
’Twas but a glimpse of the might have been.”
A clasp of hands o’er years,
A briel forgetting of worldly din,
A precedent of tears ; v
And life with its ceaseless ebb and flow
Closed o’er two lives, their weal and woe,
That day.
Yet ’twill stand forth on memory’s green,
Marked with a snow-white stone ;
’Twill come to meet in the land unseen,
Wiieu each shall claim his own,
And we can wait, my love and I,
Holding in trust from memory
That day.
DIED OF A BROKEN HEART.
A Story WhieANar be Bond With Profit
by Parents.
[Johnny Bouquet In New York Tribune.]
A father in a New England town had
a son—a little, large headed boy of ner
vous intensity, with eyes of startling
bonder, and long curling eyelashes,
which started, like his fawn-like eyes,
with quick apprehension and timidity—a
boy who played with all intensity, kept
doing something all the day long, with
out the power to rest, walked off alone
and even when alone spoke with himself,
chased the geese with little legs as lean
and swift, and at the table eating his
meals could not sit very still, nor bear
to sit all the morning in church because
his heart was too rapid in his little nar
row chest, where every rib could be
counted against his tender flesh and skin.
In the morning he was awake at earliest
light; at evening his tired nature yielded
to the deep sleep of exhaustion. His
mother feared she could never raise him
to be a man. His father thought he was
too long becoming a man in gravity, so
briety and formal obedieuce.
“What ails my son ?” the father sternly
asked. “He is rattle-headed and with
out stability. I fear for him. Do you
chastise him enough? Spare not the rod
lest he grow beyond you and your rule.”
“ Alas !” exclaimed the mother, “he
has his little world, we cannot see, per
haps. He is growing and sensitive. The
doctor says we must not push him at his
studies, but let him play all he can, VI I •
his frame is equal to liis'braiu. f •
The father shook his head and spoke
sternly to the boy, and feared he was go
ing to give them all trouble growing up
so seldom moulded and unrestrained.
All day the little boy was doing some
thing, carrying the cat by the tail, carry
ing the dog under his arm, making pic
tures ou paper, of engines and steam
boats, and bellows.
“ He will be an artist,’’saidhis mother
hopefully.
“ He will spoil the library,” exclaimed
the father suspiciously.
Antagonism grew up between the
father and the boy, born, on the boy’s
part, of fear; on the father’s, of criticism
and severity. The boy ran to his mother
and asked her protection from his father’s
suspecting eye. The father feared his
wife was spoiling the son with mistaken
generosity and allowance. At times the
father’s habitual suspicion broke away
like the clouds above hard, human
Britain, and he laid his rigorous books of
theology down to take his boy walking,
and they grew a little nearer. Then
again the father observed some voluptu
ous tendency in the son which started his
fears anew; some taste for worldly,
passing modes and joys.
“Wife,”he said, “do you ever give
our boy money ?”
“A little,” she said ; “a few pennies
to buy drawing materials and colors ; he
will be an artist I think.”
“Money,” exclaimed the sire, “is the
root of every evil. You had better give
him fire or poison. He will become a
wild, ruined spendthrift.”
The idea that his wife gave the child
money operated in the father’s head like
jealousy or revenge; it tinted everything
about his son’s oonduct, and he believed
his wife had set deliberately to work to
indulge her child at the expense of his
soul.
One morning, thinking of such things
the father lay awake in bed, and a gen
tle noise disturbed him. The sun was
up, though it was scarcely 5 o’clock, and
the light and air striking through the
chamber curtains showed the little boy
in his night gown stealing toward bis
father’s bed. He glanced sharply to
ward his father to see if he was quite
asleep, and then swiftly, like a little bird,
hopped upon a chair and ran his lean
white fingers into his father’s vest
pocket.
“Ha ! ” thought the father. *‘ My son
in my pockets by stealth, before I sun
awake, and imitating the bad example of
my wife, who often, perhaps, searches
unauthorized there!”
As he said this a dreadful idea crossed
his mind. That son, spoiled by the
mother’s indulgence, already corrupted
by spending money, was a thief—a thief
while yet a child! He rose in bed and
spoke in a voice of thunder:
‘ ‘ Robert, you are stealing my money P
Horror froze the boy; he dropped from
the chair like a cat, and was into his own
bed in the next room and covered his face
with his sheets. Anguish and stem re
solve possessed at once tne fathers’
stricken heart He had delayed too long
to chastise his wayward son, now gliding
into ruin. It must be done, hard though
it should be. He awoke his wife, and,
suppressing her replies with an iron will,
related the story of her depraved child.
“Henceforth,” he said, “I must be the
magistrate and mother, instead of you !
Robert, come, dress yourself !”
He thrust the frightened mother back.
The boy fell on his knees but could not
speak one word, so large the knot that
gathered in his little throat, so resolute
the startled, fawn like eyes, as ii agony
and perversity worked together to make
him obdurate. Down the stairs and into
the orchard, away from sight, the fathe*
bore his child, and making him kneel
upon the grass, struck hard and slow
with the switch bf the apple tree, tellin#
his boy to confess ; yet dumb as Isaac
upon the altar beneath his father’s knife,
shrinking childhood of the boy received
his hard chastisement. Carried back,
all trembling as with a chill of death, to
the house of mourning, the little boy
was laid in his bed, still frozen tight of
speech and only the ointment of a
mother’s tears fell upon his tortured
back and famine narrowed shoulders,
but his large eyes turned to a little box
that he kept his treasures in, and they
placed it in his bed where he lay all day
sighing from his inarticulate soul.
The father’s heart was wrenched to
think of such a frail, dear son persisting
in his wickedness, and turning from re
pentanoe.
He sat by his side all that afternoon
demanding his boy to confess and save
them both the pain of another chastise
ment. The boy trembled, but did not
speak, and put his arms around his little
box as if it was his brother.
The long night through a sigh went
through the chamber ever and anon
from those suffering lips. Neither man
nor woman slept. At early day the
anguished father felt that the stern pun
ishment must be meted out again unless
his boy spoke and repented. He rose
and passed into the ohamber where the
son lay in his lowly bed, all strewn with
his little drawings, and his arms around
his box. He sighed no more, but
seemed asleep. Upon his face a color
paler than the snowy sheets extended.
Another guest was in the bed ; the guest
that cometh like a real thief in the
night.
“Mary !” cried the father, “Mary, my
wife, come here ! Robert is dying!”
The mother came on feet of doves’
wings. She raised her son upon her
breast The little lips unclosed and
spoke the last forever to this world :
“Hove my papa. Mamma, I only
wanted his pencil, not his money. Dear
God, let papa love me. ”
And so, among the little drawings he
had been working at every dawn, till
his pencils were worn to the wood and
he would have borrowed his papa’s
noiselessly, whose sharpened pencil was
in his waistcoat pocket, the little artist
yielded up his broken heart. Only the
room resounded with a childless father’s
cry:
“ Oh! had I my son again, even
though he were a thief !”
Fortunes Lost in Cornwall.
Every tourist in Cornwall is familiar
with the deserted engine houses and ruin
ous chimney stacks which form so char
acteristic a feature of the scenery of the
Western mining districts. They have
their picturesque aspect, but they are
the evidences of wide-spread ruin. To
thousands of families they have been, in
the phrase applied to an unprofitable
speculation by Carlyle; “The grave of
the last sixpence. ” They stand there by
scores and by hundreds, dilapitated,
stripped of every morsel of wood or
metal that would sell, towering over wide
wastes of rubbish-heaps, their high
sounding names forgotten. Millions
drawn from the wealth and the poverty
of outside investors have within tne past
thirty years been buried in the bowels of
the Cornish hills, or have found their
way into the pockets of some wily pro
jectors. It is not twenty years amce a
shrewd Cornishman made large profits
by disposing of shares in a mine with a
high-sounding name, near his native vil
lage ; upon inquiry the magnificent mine
S roved to be merely a pit some score feet
eep, with a windlass and a bucket!
This gentleman was indeed rather too
clever, for he speedily found himself in
jail, but after no very long time he was
let loose again upon his prey. How many
aliases he has had since then, or into
how many mine-broking firms he has
developed, probably no one but himself
knows, but more than one well* puffed
mine of the present mining revival is
known to have owed its origin to his
energies. It may be quite true that, on
a capital of £I,OOO, Devon Great Con
sols made in its earlier years more than
a million profit; that South Caradon
gave its wealth on even easier terms ;
that Tresavean paid £60,000 dividends
in one year. But let ns look a little fur
ther into the results, and we shall dis
cover that the families that have realized
wealth by mining, and not from the
dues they have received as lords of min
ing property, are few and far between.
Often within the life-time of the indi
vidual, frequently in the next generation,
mining has taken what mining gave.
The greatest mining fortune of the last
two or three generations was that which
eventually came into the hands of the
late Sir william Williams. His eldest
son and heir adhered to the traditions
of his family in supporting mining enter
prise, and—he died insolvent— London
Standard.
Forty thousand wax candles are in
staneously lighted by a single match in
the Palace Royal, Berlin. The wicks
are previous connected with a thread
spun from gun cotton, on igniting one
end of which all the candles in the 700
apartments are lighted simultaneously.
BLACK DIAMONDS.
Statistics of Coal Production.
The coal trade has about it no sugges
tion of antiquity. The old Romans cut
aqueducts through coal fields with the
loftiest contempt for black diamonds,
and it was not until 1240 that coal was
used in London. Sixty wears later there
was considerable trade in coal, and in
1880 the production of coal in Great
Britain was 134,008,288 tons.
The United States, with* a coal area of
192,000 square miles, produced 66,200,-
934 tons of coal in 1880, while Great
Britain, with a coal area of 11,900 square
miles, produced 134,000,000 tons, and
Germany, with an area of only 1,770
square miles, produced 46,953,002 tons.
In the same year France produced
17,104,485 tons; Belgium, 15,446,531
tons ; Austria, 15,447,292 tons ; Russia,
2,588,604 tons; Spain, 775,000 tons;
Nova Scotia, 788,000 tons; Australia,
1,750,000 tons ; India, 4,000,000 tons ;
Japan, 750,000 tons; Vancouver’s island,
250,000 tons; Ohili, 50,000 tons ; Swe
den, 90,000 tons ; Italy, 220,000 tons ;
China, 4,000,000 tons.
Increase in the production of coal in
England has not been rapid. But in
countries like the United States, Russia
and Australia, the growth in business is
astonishing. Ten years ago Russia
mined only 829,745 tons of coal, and in
1829 Australia produced only 780 tons.
In 1858, the output of the whole German
empire was 4,883,585 tons of coal, and
1,417,420 tons of lignite. In the United
States the production has been more
than doubled in the last ten years. The
following table shows the production of
coal in the different States of the Union
in 1869 and 1880 :
Tons, 1809. Tans, 188(1.
Pennsylvania, anthracite 13,866,180 23,437,242
Pennsylvania,"bituminous 7,708,517 19,900,000
Illinois 2,629,663 4,000,900
Ohio 2, >26,285 7,000,000
Maryland 1,819,824 2,136, 160
Missouri 62 ,930 1,600,000
West Virginia 608,878 1,400,000
Indiana 437,870 1,196,490
lowa 263,487 1,600,000
Kentucky 160,682 1,000,000
Tennessee 133,4 1 9 641,042
Virginia 61,803 100,000
Kansas 37,938 650,000
Oregon 200,000
Michigan 21,160 35,000
California 600,000
Rhode Island 14,000 15,000
Alabama 11,000 340,000
Nebraska 1,425 100,000
Wyoming 60,000 226,000
Washington 17,844 175,000
Utah 6,800 276,000
Colorado 4,500 676,000
Georgia...., 100,000
Total 31,116,595 66,200,934
It will be seen by this table that while
the older of the coal-producing States,
like Pennsylvania, Ohio and Illinois,
have about doubled their output, the
newer States like lowa, Kansas and Ne
braska have increased their production
ten and twenty fold.
The consumption of coal at Pittsburgh
for 1880 is about 2,000,000 bushels;
New York, 5,250,000. The receipts of
coal at Chicago were 2,886.748 tons; St.
Louis, 1,675,000 tons; New Orleans,
3,187,400 tons; Cincinnati, 1,787,230
tons; Cleveland, 1,750,000 tons.
The United States stands next to
Great Britain as a coal-producing coun
try, but, while Great Britain exported
18,702,551 tons last year, the United
States exported 614,000 tons, more than
half of this going to Canada.
Ellsworth’s Death—Grief of President
Lincoln.
In an account of the death of Col.
E. Ellsworth, in Alexandria, Va.,
on May 24, 1861, by the hand of the
tavern keeper .Jackson, furnished the
Philadelphia Times by Capt. Frank E.
Brownell, his avenger, occurs the fol
lowing:
“It was only a short time, however,
when a message came that the President
wished to see me at the engine house.
I w ent. There was no one but the Pres
ident, Capt. Fox, of the navy, and the
undertaker. Mr. Lincoln was walking
up and down the floor, very much agi
tated. He was wringing his hands, and
there was, I thought, the trace of tears
upon his cheek. He did not appear to
notice my entrance at first. Lifting the
cloth from the face of the dead man he
exclaimed, with a depth pathos I shall
never forget: I My boy, my boy ! Was
it necessary this sacrifice should be
made ?’ After a while he made me re
late the whole occurrence in detail. I
had scarcely finished before Mrs. Lin
coln came, and I was again asked to re
peat the story of the tragedy to her.
The following letter from Mr. Lincoln
to the parents of Ellsworth has, I think,
never been in print:
“ la the untimely loss of your ncble son our
(.tfl.ction here is scaroely less than your own.
So much of promised usefulness to one’s ooun
trv, and of bright hopes for one’B self and
fr.ends, have rarely been so suddenly darkened
as in his fall. In size and years and in youth
ful appearanoe a bov, his power to oommand
men was surprisingly great. This power, com
bined with a fin* intellect and indomitable en
ergy and a taste altogether military, constitut
ed in him, as seemed to me, the best natural
talent in that department I ever knew. And
yet he was singularly modest and deferential
in social intercom se. My acquaintance with
him began less than two years ago, yet through
the latter half of the intervening period it was
as intimate as the disparity of our ages and my
engrossing engagements would permit. To me
he appeared to have no indulgences or pas
times, and I never heard him utter a profane
or intemperate word. What was mors conclu
sive of his good heart, he never forgot his par
ents. The honors he labored for so laudably,
and in the sad end so gallantly gave his life, he
meant for them no less than himself. In the
hope that it may be no intrusion on the sacred
ness of your sorrow I have ventured to address
this tribute to the memory of my young friend
and your brave and early-fallen child. May
God give you the consolation which ia beyond
all ear hiy power. Sincerely your friend in a
common affliction, A. Lincoln.”
Ah xdxtob in Lehigh County received
a new subscription last week—the first
In six months—and he anxtounoed it
under the head, 'The Cry Is, Still They
SOBSCftIPTION-Sf.Sff.
NUMBER i
HUMORS OF THE DAY.
Capt. Eads has quite an admiration
for the offspring of Africa because it’s
apt to be a little jetty.— Yonkers Ga
zette,
In Baltimore a fine of $1 is imposed
for every oath used. A newspaper man
on a princely salary would die a pauper
in that city. —Modern Argo.
A Canada farmer discovered a pit
containing 500 skulls. Must have been
the site of an ancient theater to have had
so many dead heads in the pit.
“ Dis vas der vinder mit mine disgon
tend !” remarked an excited Teuton as
the window sash came down upon hia
neck while he was looking at a bicycle
race.
A bride is reported to have lately
said : “I told all my friends to have my
name put on my presents, so that if di
vorced George should not be able to
claim them.”
Notice at the door of a ready-made
clothing establishment, in one of the
poorer quarters of Paris : “Do not ffo
somewhere elsa to be robbed; walk m
here. - Argonaut,
It is now claimed that Satan pre
vailed over Eve by imp-ortunity. —N.
Y. Herald, P. I. Has it been demon
strated ?— Commercial Bulletin, Yea,
it is the latest devil-opment.
Beeoheb says that Hades is a State
rather than a place. He doesn’t say
what State, but “Go to Texas” has al
ways been considered synonymous with
that other profane injunction.
We don’t see why the revised edition
won’t suit a big percentage of the folks.
It has just as handsome bindings, looks
as well on a centre table and is just
as good to press leaves with.— Boston
Post.
Ohio’s valuation is said to have in
creased only $13,000,000 in ten years. In
view of the fact that half the Btato has
been holding office during that period,
the story may be considered a lie.—Bos
ton Post.
A Quinoy lady who feels aggrieved at
a notice in a recent number of the Argo
threatens to box our ears. This would
make a live boom in the lumber busi
ness and cause the hearts of several idle
carpenters to rejoice.— Modern Argo ,
Clergyman—“ No, my dear, it is im
possible to preach any kind of & sermon
to such a congregation of asses.”
Smart young lady—“And is that why
you call them ‘dearly beloved breth
ren?’ ” —Columbia Spectator.
A Cincinnati youth practiced smoking
cigars and blowing the smoke from hie
nose, but just as everybody thought him
awful smart he became deaf, and ia
likely to remain so.— Detroit Free Press.
He must have had a very poor nose for
hearing.
When a young man devotes fifteen
minutes to arranging his necktie on Sun
day evening, and brushes his hair with
a little more particularity than usual, it
is a sign that he has “pressing” busi
ness on hand, and will get into a tight
sqeeze before midnight.
“ I understand that your son is a bach
elor of arts,” said Mrs. srown to Mrs.
Homespun, whose son had just been
graduated at Harvard. “Well, yes,”
replied Mrs. Homespun; “yes, he’s a
bachelor—but he’s engaged.”— Boston
Transoript.
William Penn was a very honest man.
He would not rob the Indians of their
lands. Not a bit of it! He honorably
gave them seven pounds of bread and
some jack-knives for the territory of
Pennsylvania. Such honesty cannot but
be rewarded. —Boston Post.
“When I have prepared a remarkably
good sermon,” said Rev. Mr. Gush well,
“it generally happens that I have a very
small congregation to listen to it.
“ What a memory you have ?” exclaimed
Y°gg, in tones of astonishment;
“ how long ago was it that you prepared
that sermon, did you say.— Boston Tran
script.
Does the World Miss Any One I
Not long. The best and most useful
of us will soon be forgotten. Those
who to-day are filling a large place in
the world’s regard will pass away
from the remembrance of men in a few
months, or, at farthest, in a few years
after the grave has dosed upon their re
mains.
We are shedding tears above a new
made grave and wildly crying out in
our grief that our loss is irreparable,
yet in a short time the tendrils of love
have entwined around other supports,
and we no longer miss the one who has
gone.
So passes the world. But there are
those to whom a loss is beyond repair.
1 here are men from whose memories no
woman’s smile can chase recollections of
the sweet face that has given up all its
beauty at death’s icy touch. There are
women whose plighted faith extends be
yond the grave, and drives away as pro
fane those who would entice them from
a worship of their buried loves.
Such loyalty, however, is hidden away
from the public gaze. The world sweeps
on beside and around them and cares
not to look in npon this unobtruding
grief. It carves a line and records a
stone over the dead and hastens away to
offer homage to the living. It cries out
weepingly, “le roy est mort,” but with
the next breath exclaims joyously,
“ vive le roy/]
A CATKim in New York, it is said, is
able to make almost all the dishes of a
complete bill of fare from a fresh-killed
hog.
“Why, are you alive yet, my old
friend ? I heard you were dead. ” “ Nice
friend, you are. You didn’t even come
to my funeral.*’