Newspaper Page Text
* Volume 1.
HAPPENINGS HERE AND THERE
Related to Oar Readers In the Short
est Manner Possible.
Within the past year, twenty-five
barns bare been borne*! ^n farms in Lin
coln county, Tenn., and in almost ev
ery instance the fires have been traceable
to incendiarism* The farmers, in order
to protect themselves, banded together,
and mob law would have probably been
the result, had not the county court
taken the matter in hand, ordered blood
hounds, and offered a reward of ssot for
the capture and conviction of the guilty
parties.
An Ei Paso lady, in an effort to smug
gle over a music box, applied the instru
ment to herself after the manner of*a
bustle. The officer had propounded to
her the last question and was about to
leave when the car stopped suddenly
and set the music box a-going. And the
so-called bustle played Annie Laurie !
Alfred Call ran the tines of a pitchfork
through the h^ad of Thomas King, near
Spokane Falls, Wy. King had drawn a
revolver on Call.
Charles Miller, fifteen years old. has
been sentenced to be hanged at Chey
enne, Wyo., March 30. He murdered
two boys named Fishburg and Emerson.
Mr. C. A. Hoy and wife, of Holliday,
Kan., were run down by a Kansas
Southern train Wednesday morning.
Mra. Hoy was instantly killed, and her
husband was seriously injured. They
had been married only a month. Mr.
Hoy was the railroad telegraph operator.
Mrs. Long and her fourteen-year-old
daughter Maggie, almost pounded the
life out of Prof. Pierson Myers, princi
pal of a public school at Bellaire, W. Va.
The Professor had whipped Maggie for
chewing tolu in school.
Rev. James Sette, a missionary among
the Indian tribes around Lake Wiuni
peg and Manitoba, writes that the camps
of Indians hunting on the east side of
Lake Winnipeg, not very far from Blood
Vein river, near Doghead, were visited
by a band of wolves, about one hundred
in numlier. They attacked the camp
and killed many Indians and devoured
them. One Indian cudgeled and killed
twenty wolves; another Indian climbed
up a tree with his gun and shot down
twenty. One got upon a stage, which
was not very high, and the wolves go
him down and devoured him. There is
a great panic among the Indians in that
quarter. The Indians say that there are
no deer, consequently the wolves are
mad witli hunger.
Milton Tootle, Jr. a schoolboy, and
heir to a million dollars, eloped with
and married Belle Gordon, the sixteeU
year-old daughter of a poor farmer liv
ing near St. Joseph, Mo.
Eight miners were burned to death in
the Capin mine, at Iron Mountain,
Mich., Thursday evening. Fire was dis
covered in the shaft leading to the sixth
level about 6 o’clock, and it spread rap
idly. The men, who were just prepar
ing to ascend to the surface, were cut
off, and rescue was impossible. They
were cremated alive. Attemps were
made to smother the fire by covering
the tops of the shafts.
Encouraged by the decision rendered
some time ago by Judge Johnson, de
claring that the colored citizens had the
same rights as white persons, the Afro-
American League, composed of colored
citizens of Milwaukee, have addressed
circulars to a number of saloon-keepers,
restaurant-keepers and others, who have
been reported to the League as discrim
inating against colored citizens by re
fusing them admission or charging them
double prices. The circular is a warn
ing to discontinue these practices under
threats of prosecution.
A tramp in France called at a country
house and related his tale of woe, about
as the American tramp relates it here,
but threatened suicide in case the woman
refused him food. She refused, and he
cut his throat and died on the veranda,
and made her no end of bother.
The dead and mangled body of a man
was found on a railroad crossing in the
heart of Birmingliam, Ala., Wednesday
night last. He was identified as a har
ness maker named King, who got on
sprees.
A druggist in St. Petersburg has in
vented a method of tipping cigars with a
preparation so that they are lighted like
a match by rubbing against any hard
surface.
Now if we can only get the Indians
to smoking cigarettes with the con
stancy characterizing the efforts of
some of our youth in that direction,
it will not be long until we shall see
them all under the ground or in in
stitutions for the feeble-minded. It
should be an easy thing to do, too
Indians are not very nice in their
tastes.
THE WEEKLY CHRONICLE.
He Turned Into a Mule.
I distinctly remember the first
hanging I ever saw in a Nevada min
ing camp, and as I put in ten years
out there, end as hangings came to
be of weekly occurrence, I rather
pride myself on this feat of memory.
A lazy, quarrelsome miner name
Rattebone struck a man with a pick
one day and killed him, and after a
fair trial was found guilty and con
demned to hang. On the night pre
ceding the execution he sent for me.
I had once given him a pipe, and had
also written two or three letters for
him, and he reasoned that I was his
friend. When I entered his presence
he held out his hand and said:
“Say, now, you don’t believe I’m
afraid to hang?”
“Oh. no.”
“Haia’t no idea I’ll weaken?”
“None, whatever.”
“ ’Cause I propose to hang with a
grin on my face—if I’ve got to hang.
There is just one reason why I don’t
want to, however, and I want you
to do me a favor.”
“Well?”
“Go to the boys and state the case.
There’s an old fellow down the creek
named Champlin. A month ago I
got into a fuss with him, and he said
I’d be hung in three months. This
thing will tickle him almost to death,
lie’ll say, *1 told you sol’ and he’ll go
on about the wicked being cut short
in their career, and all that, and I
want to disappoint him.’’
"But you are going to hang in
the morning.”
“Yes, 1 know, but 1 don’t want to,
you see. Just go and talk to the
boy’s and tell ’em about old Champ
and get me off.”
I didn’t do anything, of course,
says the Denver Republican, and
next morning, when he was led out
he plead his own cause, but without
avail. Just before he was swung off
he saw tltb old man in the crowd, and
he called him up and said:
‘‘Champ, you piebald, knock-kneed
old cuss, you’ll go around bragging
that you predicted this, and you’ll
swear your hat on your ear and step
high. Durn your old hide, but it’s
on your account I hate to go. I’ve
got to, however, but I’ll get even
with vou. Hang me if I don’t turn
into a mule and kick you to death
afore the year is out.”
Five months later a speculator
came into our camp on a mule. The
animal stood tied to a tree, and when
Champ lounged up to pick up a fry
ing pan the brute shot out and hit
him in the temple and keeled him
over stone dead.
The Three-Legged Hen.
Bradenburg, Ky., Feb. B.—Benja
min Mosely, colored, of this place,
has quite a curiosity in the shape of a
Plymouth Rock hen having three
well-developed legs This chicken
was hatched two years ago, and is
now as large and healthy as any in
Mosely’s yard. The third leg is
about one four inches long, and has
all the toes complete. In walking
about she folds it up under the body,
but when she stops it drops down,
but is never used. Mr. and Mrs.
Mosely, like all colored people, are
somewhat superstitious, and have
never touched her since she was
hatched. Mosely has been offered a
good sum for her, but has refused all
offe rs.
One of the most amusing cases of
absent mindedness on record is that
told on a certain famous professor of
one of the northern colleges. He
was one day in a book store, deeply
absorbed in finding a work to prove
some question in dispute. The
store was filled with customers, and
as the professor started to leave he
stopped to shake hands with a few
friends. Last of all he extended his
hand to a sweet faced lady near the
counter, saying: “Good morning,
madam. Your face looks very fa
miliar, but I am unable to recall
your name. ’ Absorbed in thought,
he passed out without awaiting the
lady’s reply. She was his wife.—
Drake’s Magazine.
fort Gaines, Georgia. Friday, February 13, 1891.
MARCHING THROUGH GEORGIA.
What We Find to Talk About on Our
Texas has 3,129 people in the peniten
tiary; Missouri has 1,720, and Georgia
comes third with 1,537.
In Savannah recently, while Mrs. Kay
ton and family were at supper, a thief
entered the house and carried off $3,003
worth of diamonds, A negro was sub
sequently arrested and charged with the
theft, but there was no direct evidence
against him.
It is thought that the soil and condi
tions necssary to the growth of a perfect
tobacco exist around Dalton, and a
proposition has been made to get up a
stock company, employ an expert to
bacco grower and make the experiment.
A lightning rod man who is visiting
country districts in this state gives this
terrible warning to people who refuse to
patronize him: “An old man down the
country refused to have me rod his
dwelling. His wife and grown daughter
stood on his front porch and cried for a
lightning rod. As I mounted my wagon
I said to him: ‘Old man, in less than
thirty days you will regret this.’ And,
gentlemen, it is the truth that in just
twenty-nine days from that time the
lightning fell on that old man’s house,
demolished the house, killed his wife
and daughter and completely paralyzed
him. ”
Editor Webb, of the Monticello Star
says: “We are feeling powerful good
this week. We have had our life in
sured, been vaccinated and collected
some old debts.”
There is a philosopher connected with
‘.he Macon County Citizen. Here is a
slice of his wisdom. A writer in an ex
change advises people to “take things
just as you find them.” That won’t do
in every case. There is a man in jail
here now for taking things just as he
found them. It is likely that he will
go into the coal mining business too.
Mrs. J. G. Winter of Atlanta, on Sat
urday night last, gave birth to three girl
babies It is said that, provision having
been made but for one, Mr. Winter was
sent to the house of a relative to obtain
clothing for No. 2. On his return he
found that he had brought just half
enough, there being a third visitor to
tally unprovided for. Two of the chil
dren lived. The parent is doing as well
as cofild be expected.
A special from Cordele to the Tele
graph says that B. F. Morris, city mar
shal, while attempting to arrest a bois
terous negro, was shot by the negro
with a Winchester rifle. The negro es
caped. A party of determined men with
a pack of bloodhounds are scouring the
country for the fugitive. The marshal,
tl ough painfully wounded, will recover.
Near Camilla. Ga., there is a Justice
of the Peace who uses the oath to wit
ness as follows; “The evidence you shall
give in this case shall be the truth, the
whole truth and nothing but the truth,
and pay all cost, so help you God.”
The State of Georgia receives $25,000
annual hire for its convicts. Last year,
with only 5-10 convicts, Indiana had paid
into her treasury $69,076.68 net profit,
Sunday morning between 9 and 10
o'clock two white boys, named Aaron
Black and Tommy Somers, found a pil
lar caae m an open field adjacent to one
of the roads leading from the Boulevard
to the brewery in Brunswick. Upon
opening the case, which was quite heavy,
they found a lot of moss and the remains
of a negro infant, that had apparently
been born a few days previous. They
reported the matter to Mrs. P. Dittman,
living near by. No clue, however, could
be obtained as to its parentage or other
wise, and the remains were buried in the
field. The letters ‘ ‘P. B. ” were marked
in black on the pillowcase.
Sandersville Progress: A contest is
now before the courts of this county in
volving an estate worih about $15,000.
An old lady made a will leaving her
property to one set of children. After
ward she decided to leave it to another
set, and instead of making a second will
she had deeds written giving a share to
each. Instead of destroying the will she
tore it partly across the signature of the
witnesses, thinking no doubt that she
was tearing off her signature, or was de
stroying the validity of the will. She
died about six months' ago and in the
bottom of her trunk the will and deeds
were found One set of children claimed
the property according to the will, the
other according to the deeds. The case
was before the last superior court of this
county, and the jury decided in favor of
the will. Those in whose favor the deeds
were made out are fighting the case. A
number of Lawyers have been engaged,
and the end is not yet.
Weekly Travels.
Different Kinds.
didn’t think of it.
The medicine men among the In
dians told them that no bullets could
pass through their ghost shirts, but
it never occurred to a buck to hang
his shirt on a hickory limb and blace
away at it and note the result. It
was, therefore, “heap disappoint
ment” when the shirts didn’t prove
bullet-proof.
STILL UNSETTLED.
Mr. Brown, of Virginia, spoke of
Mr. Hough, of Tennessee, as if the
name was pronounced “Hoe,” which
he claimed was very proper for him to
do, but Mr. Hough resented it, and
one received two bullets and the other
three cuts, and the case is still un
settled. Mr. Brown insists that
when a man wants to he known as
Mr. Huff he need’t go all around the
alphabat to accomplish it.
WHAT MARY SAYS.
Mary Kyle Dallas says that if wo
man could see man eating at a table
by himself, without any restraint on
his hoggish characteristics, she would
shrink away from him as from a
beast.
LIKE AS NOT.
A bottle full of whisky was taken
out of the earth at a depth of 37 ieet
in Connecticut the other day, and
the inhabitants are wondering if those
Mayflower Pilgrims didn’t take their
nip before breakfast along with the
rest of the world.
ALWAYS THUS.
In the early history of Pennsyl
vania when a big Indian chief offered
to sell a tract of laud big enough to
make two counties for twenty gallons
of whisky “ye white man went oute
and removed ten gallons of ye whiskee
and substituted that muche water.”
Ye white man hasn’t changed much
since that date.
SHOULD HAVE WAITED.
Henry Williams gave a hack driver
$2 to take him to the depot in
Savannah in advance of the ’bus,
and he got there just in time to be
run over by a horse, smashed under a
bill board and trampled on by a drove
of mules. When the ’bus came roll
ing up he was rolled off to a hospital.
FAITHFUL UNTO DEATH.
A Syracus street car horse which
got into the habit of kicking was tied
in a stall and’a bag arranged for him
to practice on. He began at 7in the
morning and kicked until 11:25 with
out a let up, and then, broken-hearted
and disgusted with man’s ways, he
feel on his side and yielded up his
life.
WILLIAM WAS TENDER.
A stranger at Fort Scott, Kas., got
into a dispute with William Davis
about the weather and pulled his
nose. Five minutes later William
was dead of heart failure. The doc
tors said that if his wife had picked
up the rolling-pin and threatened him
at any time for years back the result
would nave been the same.
Rough On the Young Couple.
The desire of young married peo
ple to prevent the traveling public
from ascertaining that they are on
their bridal tour was sadly thwarted
in the case of a young couple who re
cently came to this city to spend
their honeymoon. They were mar
ried in a small town in Connecticut
and started on their honeymoon on a
special train that also carried a large
number of wedding guests to the
nearest city. No sooner had the
train left the station than huge pla
cards were noticed on the windows
near which the happy couple sat.
They read, “Just married.” The
travelers had a good laugh, in which
even the bride and groom felt obliged
to join. They did not laugh, how
ever, when they reached their hotel
in the city, as their trunks were
brought to their rooms with printed
placards, “Just married,” pasted all
over them.—New York Times.
A West Virginia school teacher warned
the girls that anyone who chewed gum
was not only to be classed with the cow
Creation, but could not hope to enter
the Kingdon of Heaven. After he had
been licked by several fathers and broth
ers he put his theory in his pocket and
skipped out.
NOT FOUND IN THE ALMANAC.
Some Funny Paragraphs Overlooked
by the Almanac Writers.
Let the g. o. p. wear mourning,
While the bloody* shirt it tears,
Vitriolic John Jeems Ingalls
Hath crawled up the golden stairs.
Husband—“l don’t think much of
that Bramble girl.” Wife—“ Well, you
had better not.”
“Then what reason have you for mar
rying?” “I’ve no reason at all. I’m in
love.
An exchange speaks of water in which
no fish can live, and yet the citizes of a
town near by are compelled to drink it.
Well, fish can’t live on whisky, either,
but a great many people drink it with
out compulsion or water.
Rev. Mr. Talmage says that we wilj
sing belie. the «econd day we are in
Heaven than we did the tirsi.. 12
of us didn’t sing any better the second
day than on the first the music-loving
angels would want to Move out,
Henry Clay was asked by a lady, after
the death of Jackson, what his belief
was as to the fate of Jackson. "Is he in
the good place?” “My opinion is,
madam, that if Jackson made up his
mind to go to Heaven all hell could not
keep him out.”
You claim that you were insane when
you proposed to her?” “Yes, sir.”
Can yon prove it?” ‘ Yes, sir.” “How?”
"By producing the plaintiff in court and
letting the jury look at her.”
Gushley—“Did you ever, like the
poet, ‘stand on the bridge at midnight?’ ”
Rounder—“No, but I’ve often stood on
bobtail flush at about that hour of the
evening.
St. Peter—" What’s the matter at the
portal ?” Spirit—“ One of the Four
Hundred has arrived and refused to go
in by the regular gate. He wants to
know where the stockholders’ entrance
is.”
Boarding-house Mistress—“l thought
you said your appetite was poor when
you came here ?” Gredy boarder—“lt
was, but starvation has got in its work.”
Doctor—“ Well, my little fellow, you
have got quite well again. I was quite
sure the pills I left for you would cure
you. How did you take them in water
or in cake? “Oh, I used them in my
blow-gun!”
He “Wasn’t in It.”—Sanso—“Have
you been playing poker for money ?”
Rodd (disconsolately)—“No; but the
fellows I’ve been playing with have.”
Passenger—“ls this ticket good to
stop off?” Conductor—“Yes'm. But
it won’t be good to git on again.”
It is strange how a man will himself
admit thathe is a fool, yet if any one
else tells him so he will get hopping
mad.
Appeal of a Very Young Lawyer—
“ Gentlemen of the jury, I beseech you,
acquit my client for my sake, for this is
my first case!”
Ethel (to her younger brother who
had been whipped)—“Don’t mind, bruz
zer, don’t mind.” Brother (between his
tears) —That’s just what I was licked for,
not minding.”
“Daughter,” said Mrs. Bellows, in
dignantly, after Jimpson had taken his
departure, “how came your hair so dis
arranged ?” “I shook my he id so much
while he was trying to get me to say
‘yes,’ ” replied the quick-witted girl.
Dr. Pilsbury—“Well, Mr. Sceptic,
did you follow my prescriptions?” Scep
tic—“No; if I had I would have broken
my neck.” Dr. P.—“ Why, what do
you mean?” Sceptic—“l threw the
prescriptions out of the window.”
She—“ George, you are a bundle of
inconsistencies! George—Why, what
do you mean! What have I done? She
—All last summer at the beech you gave
me nothing but gas; now you become
economical and want it turned down.
There has been a hue and cry all
over Georgia for better roads. The
newspapers have talked the matter,
the grand juries have recommended,
and even a state road congress has
been called, and yet nothing has
been done. The law is inactive and
inert, and the legislature has failed to
make it effective. There is an ele
ment in every community whose sel
fishness and lack of public spirit
causes it to antagonize every under
taking which calls on it to take any
part in the performance of any public
work, and it is the influence of this
spirit which renders our legislators
so inert and indifferent.
Wild West W'arnlngs,
From the way the Arizona Kicker
warns the city officials of the town it
is published in, there is not much
genuine pleasure to he derived from
holding an office there. Below you
r ill find a few samples.
A WISE MAN.
The deadlock in the Common
Council was broken last night by the
absence of Col. Taylor. The colonel
couldn’t help being absent. Some of
the boys had him in the suburbs, un
der a tree, with a rope around his
neck. It was either hang or break
the combination, and the colonel de
cided to help break it.
We want to say right here and
now that if there is any more “fuss
ing” in the council we will move to
impeach the whole gang, and if we
can’t get ’em impeached we’ll head a
body of outraged citizens and clean
’em out to a man. They were elect
ed to do public business and the pub
lic is in no humor to put up with their
personal quarrels. Col. Taylor ex
hibited wisdom in coming down off
his high horse, and we trust the les
son he received will not soon be for
gotten.
A WORD TO THB MAYOR.
The mayor of this town hasn’t the
decency of a wolf nor the dignity of
a monkey. He has been drunk at
least three times a week for the last
month and he would as soon pull
hair with a half-breed as to argue
with a gentleman. We’ve got tired
of his capers and we now give him
due notice that unless he comes to a
right-about-face we’ll give him dead
away and rid the community of his
presence. An individual about his
size is wanted in one of the eastern
states for cow stealing, and w’hile we
don’t want to be pizen mean, we owe
a duty to this community. We have
got our eye on the mayor.
STAND VP, TOM HARTWELL.
Tom Hart well, city marshal,, yon
were appointed as guardian of the
peace. How have you fulfilled your
mission? On numerous occasions
within the last three months you
have been drunk, and yon can be
found in a saloon oftener than on the
street. You have set a bad example
all around, and the idea that you are
a guardian over anything except a
whisky jug makes us laugh. The
Kicker has given you a fair show,
but you would not improve it e Open
your ears now, Thomas! If yon
don’t resign or brace up the boys
will call on you within the next fort
night, and when they do so it will be
too late for any excuses. You’ll be
taken out and made a pendulum of,
and the grave will be shallow and the
obsequies mighty brief. It you want
to cull the wild cactus when the
spring time comes again, Thomas,
we have pointed out the way. If you
don’t, then the boys will cull you.
come out, jim!
While Jim Kaniff was not elected
mayor of this place on a temperance
platform, the public expected him to
be decent about getting drunk and
whooping up and down the streets.
It is with sorrow ( that we announce
the fact that Jim is a complete fail
ure except as an old soak. He has
not drawn a sober breath in six
months, and his official career has
been enough to shame a wolf out of
the country. We have kept quiet on
this matter, hoping Jim would brace
up, but the time has come for a lit
tle plain talk. We say to him in
the most friendly spirit, that he must
come out of that and brace up. The
boys are muttering and growling,
and if his honor continues his present
career something will happen within
a fortnight. He’ll be waited upon
by a committee, mounted on a mule,
and the mule will be headed towards
the hills and told to travel. His
honor will keep going and never re
turn, or if he should bo foolish enough
to refuse, the boys will plant him and
proceed to sign a call for a special
election.
There are 200 women preachers in the
United States, and many times 200 wo
men who preach.
Number 2
