Newspaper Page Text
VOL 1.-NO. 11. F
GEORGIA GLEANINGS.
M. H. Marshall of Dawson has
confederate government bonds to the
amount $150,000. He also has $lO,-
000 in confederate money.
At Athent Saturday a mule was
put up for auction and was knocked
off at $1.75. This is the lowest price
a mule ever sold at in Athens.
In a row at Carrollton Sunday
night, Bob Hollingsworth (colored)
split open the head of Anthony Dor
sett (colored) with an ax. Dorsett
will die.
Martin Davis, the colored foreman
of the Primus Jones plantation in
Dougherty couuty, says he will have
out the first bale of the season by
July 5.
Fayetteville News: We would
impress some of the boys with the
idea that now is the time to make
preparations for watermelons and not
depend on getting by “slight-of
hand.”
In one month recently Mrs.Jno. T.
Wooten of Washington sold milk
and butter to the amount of $14.30
from one cow, besides having plenty
of these indispensable products for
the family.
A negro preacher, of Morgan
county, took for his text these words:
*‘There is not an honest man on
earth, and scarcely one in heaven.”
He delivered a powerful discourse
upon the subject of honesty.
An Italian organ grinder, with his
counterpart, a monkey, took in the
town not long since. We could
dodge the shells from Italy's gun
boats, but you can’t dogde her organ
grinders,—Madison Madisonian.
Cordelean : There is a goose in a
private yard, near the opera house
that has been sitting on two half-pint
flasks, thinking, perhaps, they were
eggs. It has been suggested that
this silSy goose will probably hatch
out a “blind tiger.”
At Macon Monday a western man
was seer, wiping his eyeglasses with
a S2O dollar bill. He declared that
an old greenback was the best paper
glass wiper in the world. A by
stander remarked that possibly it
was, but desired to know if a S2O bill
was any better than a $1 bill.
At Fayettevitle the other day,
while John Chapman’was ploughing,
his mule mired into Such a depth as
to arouse some curiosity. Upon ex
amination it proved to be the resting
place of some unknown person. Part
of a coffin, a skull, teeth and other
bones were found.
C. J. Jenkins of Sumner owns a
whip stock made by John M. Kenne
dy about thirty-five years ago. It
was made from leather tanned by
Daniel Willis, near Poulan, and is
part oi the hide of a stray deer known
to have been 14 years old. There is
a superstition that an article made
from the hide of a deer of that age
brings good luck to the possessor.
Mr. Kennedy served through the war
and carried the whip stock into every
battle. It is still in an excellent state
of preservation, and bids fair to do
•excellent service for some time to
come.
■Geo. W. Lay has invented a new
'musical instrument, known as the
“swinette,” and it is made in this
manner: Take a large dry goods
box, bore an eight-inch auger hole in
the side, put eight hogs in the box.
Let them be from the largest to the
"smallest size. Run their tails out
through the auger hole, and then
you have a perfect musical instru
ment. To perform on this instru
ment you must pinch their tails, and
-as they are pinched they will squal,
making rather harsh but splendid
music.—Ex.
In Olden Times.
Uncle Billy Humphrey, as he used
lo be called, was a pioneer in the
settlement of Cumming. He was the
■first tax collector the county ever
•had. Ten dollars per annum was
liis salary, and he made his rounds
ob foot at that. The Indians used
to have a trail which passed along
where the street on the south side
of the square is now Uncle Billy
THE WEEKLY CHRONICLE
had a shop on this trail, and he and
Chief Sawnee were fast friends. The
former was thrown with the In
dians, and observed and told of
many of their curious habits. He
partook of their hospitality, and said
when they got ready to eat a huge
bowl filled with a game stew was
brought out and each one was pro
vided with a spoon and all helped
themselves out of the dish common
to each. The little pickaninies used
to lie lazily on their backs and use
their feet in bending the bow which
sent the unerring arrows straight to
the hearts of birds or squirrels.
Consumption Cured.
An old physician, retired from practice,
having had placed in his hands by an East
India missionary the formular of a simple
vegetable remedy for the speedy and per
manent cure of Consumption, Bronchitis,
Catarrh, Asthma and all Throat and Lung
affections, also a positive and radical cure
for Nervous Debility and all Nervous Com
plaints, after Laving tested its wonderful
curative powers in thousands of cases, has
felt it his duty ro make it known to his
suffering fellows. Actuated by this motive
and a desire to relieve human suffering,- I
will send free of charge, to all who desire
it, this recipe, in German, French or Eng
lisg with full directions for preparing and
using. Sent by mail by addressing with
stamp, naming this paper. W. A. Noyes,
820 Powers’ Block, Rochester, N. Y.
■ «. • 4.
They Killed the Wrong Ducks.
Lafayette, Ga., April 9. —Twa
young gentleman of Chestnut Flat
went to Chickamauga on a duck
hunting expedition. Arrived there,
they put down the stream with
breechloaders, intermingling through
briar patches and mud. They ran
upon a gmg of ducks some two
miles down the creek and fired into
them, killing about 15 in number.
Not having any bateau, they split
right into the creek, with clothes on
after their ducks, and soon had them
all out and on the bank, rejoicing
over their big fun. But while they
were dividing the game an old gen
tleman with a double barrelled gun
appeared and said:
‘•Gentlemen, you have killed my
ducks, and if you don’t pay for
them, you’ll have me to fight.”
The boys didn’t wait for him to
finish the sentence, bu| split back
through the creek again, and the
last seen of them they were going
towards Lee s mill in a double quick.
—Constitution.
She’s No Sardine.
Mrs. Mary Lease of Kansas, the
woman who has made a national rep
utation for herself in her support of
the farmer’s alliance, addressed an
audience of good size at Music Hall,
Kansas City, Tuesday. Here is a
representative bunch of some of her
sayings:
“I defy any republican or democrat
to give a reason why he he is a dem
ocrat or republican, except that his
daddy was one.”
“The men who hovered near the
Canadian line and never smelled war
in all their cowardly lives are the
men who have kept the north and
south apart.”
“Which is worse, the black slavery
of the past or the white slavery of
present?”
“The west and south are two peas
in the same pod.”
“Republicans always say that dem
ocrats are corrupt and should have
no place on the face of the earth
Democrats say the same thing of the
republicans. We will satisfy both of
them by taking charge ourselves.”
-The difference between the two
dominant parties is that one is in and
the other wants to get in.”
“We asked for the earth in Kansas
and we nearly got it.”
“The alliance plow is strong
enough to turn a furrow and hide
both of the old parties from the light
of day.”
Randall Pope, the retired druggist
of Madison Florida, says P P P is the
best alternative in the market, and he
has handled and sold all the sarsapa
rillas and blood medicines that were
advertised.
Uncle Billy Bowers says that we
should not now stop the plow, even
to look at the train: and if your horse
should run away, let him run, but
keep the plow in the ground.—Bow
ersville Union.
B. R. King. Adrian, S. C., says: “John
son’s Tonic beats the world for La Grippe.’’
Sold under a guarantee to cure for 50 cents.
FORT GAINES. GEORGIA. FRIDAY APRIL 17. 1891.
MISERABLE, MISERABLE MAN.
Some of tlie Many Trials He Has
In This World of Sorrow
and Mean Whisky.
An exchange says: Man that is
born of woman is small potatoes and
few in the hill. He rises up to-day
and flourishes like a ragweed and to
morrow or the next day the under
taker hath him. He goes forth
in the morning warbling like a lark
and is knocked down in one or two
seconds.
In the midst of life he is in debt,
and the next collector pursues him
wherever he goeth. The banister of
life is fall of splinters, and he slideth
down with considerable rapidity. He
walketh forth in the bright sunlight
to absorb ozone and meeteth the
bank teller with a draft for $375.
He cometh home at eventide and
meeteth the weelbarrow in his path.
It riseth up and smiteth him to the
earth, and falleth upon him and run
neth one of its legs into his ear. In
the gentle spring time he putteth on
his summer clothes, and a blizzard
striketh him far from home and filleth
him with cuss words and rheumatism
In the winter he putteth on winter
trousers and a wasp that abideth
excitement. He starteth down into
the cellar with an oleander and goeth
backward, and the oleander cometh
after him and sittsth upon him.
H e buyeth a watchdog and when he
com^th home from the lodge the
wmtehdog teeths him and sitteth near
him until rosy morn. He goeth to the
horse trot and betteth his money on
the brown mare and the bay gelding
with a blaze face winneth.
He marrieth a red-headed heiress
with a wart on her nose and the next
day the parent ancestor goeth under
with a fee, arrest and great liabili
ties, and cometh home to live with
his beloved son in-law.
The Stick Man in Trouble.
Almost all shows are attended by
toughs and thieves.
Last year when Teet's show was
in this section it was attended by
John Benfroe, who ran the stick and
ring department. Xv bile at Bluffton
Mn G-. L. Collins made the acquain
tance of Renfro. Wanting some
cotton ties he gave Renfroe an order
and money with which to buy the
ties of James Bros., of Blakely. Ren
froe bought the tees and had them
sent to Mr. Collins, who supposed
everything was regular until he was
presented with a bill of the goods
for payment, when he realized what
bad happened. Renfroe sent the
ties, but kept the money in his
pocket. Collins considered the
money as lost until Wednesday
last, when Renfro turned up here
with this same show.
Collins, of course, knew his man
when he saw him, and demanded
the return of the money. Renfroe
dallied and put Collins off till the
next day. Yesterday befor the east
bound train was due and before Mr.
Collins could see him Renfroe took
the railroad towards Albany.
Mr. Collins saw through his game
and taking Mr. C. G. Bostwick in
his buggy, preceded the train to
Commissary Hill. Waving the train
down at that point, they found
their man aboard. Making him dis
gorge. they permitted him to go his
way, seeking whatever else he might
steal.
He should have been prosecuted.
—Calhoun Courier.
4*.
Electric Bitters.
This remedy is becoming so well
known and so popular as to need no spe
cial mention. All who have used Elec
tric Bitters sing the same song of praise
—a purer medicine does not exist and it
is guaranteed to do all that is claimed.
Electric Bitters will cure all all diseases
of the Liver and Kidneys, will remove
Pimples, Bo:ls, Salt Rheum and other
affections caused by impure blood—will
drive malaria from the sytem and pre
vent as well as cure all malarial fevers.
For cure of Headache, Constipation and
Indigestion try Electric Bitters. Entire
satisfaction guaranteed, or money re
funded. Price 50 ets. and 31 per bottle
at Dr. J. M. Hatchett’s drug store.
“Where are you going, my pretty
maid? ’ “To the dime museum, sir”
she said. “May I go with you, my
pretty maid? ’ “There are too many
freaks there now,” she said.
A SHERIFF SETTLES A CASE
By Giving- a Slow Moving Pris
oner Forty-nine Lashes on
His Naked Back.
The town of Micanopy now claims
the citizenship of a certain gentle
man who once carried the commis
sion of sheriff of Alachua county in
one pocket and a capias for Richard
Roe in another. On a bright April
morning our hero started for the
distant village of Jonesville, armed
as above, for the purpose of securing
the body of the said R. R. As he
cantered leisurely along, his thoughts
were fixed upon the happy anticipa
tions of a ball to be given the eve
ning of that day. By noon R R. was
“arrested in the name of the state of
Florida” and placed in the road to
Gainsville with the instructions to
“hurry up, as we’ll have to get there
before night. ’
After getting fairly started the
sheriff discovered that R. R. was not
a good walker, but, on the contrary,
was so badly crippled that he could
not mak- more than a mile per hour.
The sheriff fumed, cussed and thun
dered, but to no avail, as Richard
ruggedly pursued the even tenor of
his gait.
Sundown found our hero and his
bird just six miles from the starting
point, when a halt was called.
“What is your name, anyhow, you
blankety, blank blank
“Richard Koe.”
“Did you steal that cow, as you
are charged - ?”
“Yes, sir.”
“That’s*enough ; we can settle the
case right here, by gum!” said the
sheriff as he went out to one side of
the road and selected a 2-year-old
sappling bl ick gum.
“Now. you stole the cow and don’t
■ &
deny it, and I don’t see a durned bit
of use of fooling away time to get
you to jail, much less to feed you
after I get you there,” said the now
exasperated sheriff. “ i’ake off your
coat, blank you!’’
The prisoner flinched, but com
plied with the request.
“Now hug that tree as tight as
you can!”
This was done, then the sharp
strokes of the sappling could be
heard for a hundred yards, accom
panied by the tedious one, two, three
foui’, until 49 lashes had been ap
plied.
Releasing the unfortunate and
bloody victim of this hasty trial and
punishment, the sheriff proceeded as
follows:
“Richard Roe, you have been ac
cused, convicted and punished by one
of your peers, and, in discharging
you, I would advise you never to
come before me again, or I will cut
your infernal throat. May God have
mercy on your soul.”
The criminal took to the woods
and. the sheriff the nearest road to
the hall, which he reached in due
time, and retired at 2 o’clock, a. m.,
next morning, fully conscious of
having discharged his duty.—Mican
opy (Fla.) News.
Spooks in the Gin House.
Believers in haunts, spirits, Jack
o-the lanterns and didoes will learn
from the following story that there
is an origin to all such nonsense.
About nine miles from Nashville at
Messrs. Green & Matthis a thorough
bred, impudent ghost was captured.
In connection with the saw mill are
four cotton gins. The gins are run
with the saw engine by use of a 2 j
inch countershaft. The hollow pipe
would s rve as a telephone, but no
one knew it save the engineer. He,
being full of fun, would speak in one
end and the sound was heard at the
other. A few’ evenings ago jvhile
in the cotton room, his attention
was attracted to a peculiar sound
“right in the room with him.” Mr.
Greene searched in vain for the mys
terious voice. It was heard again
and again, ti 1 the mill was shut
down and all hands w r ere put in
search of the daring demons in which
all faded, as did Mr Greene. They
grew nervous and thought of things
frow away back. The, man at the
other end of the 'phone was the
tickled one. Failing to locate the
frightful, thundering “imajmation,”
which was heard at intervals only,
the crew went home, each to his re
spective place of refreshment, to
meditate and have frightful dreams
—the engineer to laugh all night.
The next morning Mr. J as. Peacock
happened to be in the gin house,
when the man in the pipe quietly sa
luted Mr. Peacock. The sounds that
came through the pipe were neither
familiar or appreciated. The gentle
man held down his nerves for a short
time only, then gave vent to his
feelings by leaping from the build
ing and standing a hundred yards
off, saying:
“What was that !’*
It was still a mystery to all save
the man in the engine room.
A lot of school children were also
victimized by the hidden voice.
They viewed the eventful spot from
different and distant standpoints, as
so many wild turkeys would view a
suspicious trap.
Finally, one loped off home, others
followed suit —minus caps, bon
nets and buckets..
During the intervals between call
ers, the man in the engine room
would lie back on a bale of waste
and laugh himself fat. All this time
Greene grew more and more serious,
recalling different events of his life,
trying to think up an excuse for
“Old Scratch” visiting his mills.
Meantime, the school children
had carried the news to the neigh
bors, and a posse of men arrived,
armed to the teeth with everything
from a pitchfolk to a rifle. This
time he -wisely kept his ghosthood
out of the shaft and went with the
gentlemen in search of the monster.
All failed alike with heavy hearts.
People would not carry their cot
ton there, for they could not endure
the uifearthly sounds long enough
to unload their wagons.
The neighbors could have endur
ed the racket all the season, but the
man’s fun was too much to keep.
When the secret was made known
the victims put on that dry grin of a
smile and said : “ I told you so!”—
Adel News.
To Melon Growers.
The following plan for the inspec
tion of melons has been suggested
by some of the growers, and is sub
mitted for careful consideration and
discus-ion at the next meeting of
the growers, to be held at Albany on
the 29th insfe
“The growers to provide wagon
scales at each shipping point ; to
have each carload of melons careful
ly weighed and counted by a sworn
weigher and counter ; to attach the
certificate of weight and number of
melons in each car (showing the av
erage weight of each melon) to the
shipping order; if the average weight
should fall below — pounds, the
product to be considered unmer
chantable, and the initial line shall
require prepayment of freight, oth
wise the car to be shipped ‘collect’ ;
the agents of the initial line (local or
special) shall see that this rule is
rigidly enforced.” G. R. Mcßee,
Pres. Melon Growers’ Asso.
Erysipelas—l. L. Irvin of Thom
asville, Ga., says he was afflicted
with erysipelas for ten years and was
only cured when P. P. P. was used.
Admitted to BaiL
Albany, Ga., April 10.—Will An
derson, who some time since killed
a man by the name of Castello, in a
barroom row in Blakely, was indict
ed for manslaughter by the grand
jury of Early this week, and admit
ted to bail in the sum of $5,‘»00,
pending in his trial at the fall term
of the court.
T. T. Shuptrine & Bro^ wholesale and re
tail druggists, Savannah. Ga., say. “We
have sold lots of Johnson’s Tonic for La
Grippe, and hear nothing but favorable re
ports.”
The fish and snake liars are now
about ready to resume business at
the same old stand. —-Jackson Argus.
——; - ♦ •
If all the editors received money as
freely as they do advice there would
be more of them bowlegged. —Mon-
teztima Record.
Johnson’s Tonic is 100 times better than
quinine. Try jt oa the Grippe,
mOO A YEAR
SOME SMART SAVINUH.
He taught his wife the sin of dress
With eloquence and power.
And then played billiard* all day long
At sizty cents an hour.
“Talk about striking a tender
chord,” soliloquized the tramp at the
wood pile; “this is one of the toughest
cords I ever struck.”
When a man throws away the
straps around his pocketbook as soon
as he joins the church it is a pretty
good sign he has religion.
Archibald —You are related to her
by marriage, arc you not?
Frigiday—No; I’m her brother by
refusal.
Madisonian: Nine hundred and
ninety-nine out of every thousand
dislike to be dunned. This fact is
more impressed upon us the longer
we stay in the newspaper business.
Lady of the House —You say you
haven t had anything to eat today?
Tramp —Lady, if you believe me
the only thing I’ve swallowed to-day
is insults.
He —I met your father ’to-day for
the first time.
She —How did he strike you?
He —Just like the rest of the boys.
He wanted to borrow $5.
Mrs. Bingo —There! I knew it.
Those moths have got at your dress
suit and eaten a hole right through
your pocket.
Mr. Bingo—They must be female
moths.
Tommy —Can we play at keeping
a store in here, mamma?
Mamma (who has a headache) —
Certainly, but you must be very, very
quiet.
Tommy—Well, we’ll pretend we
don’t advertise.
Johnny —Paw, what is a holdover
Senator?
Mr. Flagg—The qualifications of a
holdover Senator vary in different
states. In Kentucky he is expected
to hold over half a gallon without
staggering.
Not disturbed —“Store robl>ed last
night”
“You don’t say so! What was
taken ?”
“Nearly all. In fact, the only
thing not disturbed was the watch
man. —Ex.
Madison Squcers —It has got so
now that you can’t ask a policeman a
question without you have a permit.
Upson Downes —What kind of a
permit?
Madison Squeers —A permit to
live.
“Ma,” said Bobby, “is it wrong for
little boys to tie tin kettles to dog's
tails?”
“Decidedly wrong, Bobby. I hope
you never do such t thing as that.’
“No, indeed, ma.” replied Bobby,
emphatically. “AU I do is to hold
the dog.”
Queer thing happened in Wash
ington the other day.
What was it?
Blaine and Harrison and Peffer
were talking on the street, when
some one yelled out, "Hooray for the
next president!” All three raised
their hats and said, “Thank you, my
boy.”
Waynesboro True Citizen: A
young gentleman near Green Fork
while calling on his heart’s dearest
idol, found the old man’s jug. and de
cided to sample its contents, ami,
after taking three large swallows of a
horse liniment, composed of equal
parts of turpentine, pepper, kerosene
and vinegar, found out it was the
wrong jug.
A sick Indiana woman longed so
much for quail the other day that
several of the toothsome birds dashed
themselves to death against her
house lor her accommodation. Chi
cago invalids who long lor straw b*r
rie^need not, however, expect that
the luscious fruit u ill come to them
in a similar manner. Strawberries
come at 35 cents per quart, each put
up in a pint basket.
. Tetter, sahrheum ami cancer are
all cured by P. P. P. The effects on
these diseases are perceptible afw
the first bottle of P. P p. w 33 used.