Newspaper Page Text
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iiedney’s
Chr i jrt ms
Smoke
[Copyright, 1902, liy T. C. McClure.]
IT was three days before Christmas.
Uedney Burke separated his di
minutive frame from the seething
crowd of humanity that pressed
along the street and paused before a
plate glass window whiHi above all
others attracted him. This was not
a department store or a candy store or
a bakeshop. Inside there were neither
toys nor sleds raw good things to eat,
but it held tho.-' ■ things upon which
IP fluey iturk s 1 •.. -1■ ■ i bis small
eyes for many days. And now he
looked, with lis whole soul in his
glance- be look'd aed looked and look
ed. He sniffed the air and imagined
1o himself that a I re: dy 1.".* was enjoy
ing the good tilings within.
For it was a cigar store, a store of
the la tier Ha, s. full o ' pipes and totale
»o and eigarefO's and chewing tobacco
and everything that i n is in smoke.
In tiie front of the window immedi
ately under the olfactory nerves of Mr.
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seir, "how true it is that one Hair or
the world knows not hmv the other
half lives.” Then he raised his voice.
"What would y , 1 say, small sir, if 1
should buy you me of those toys’V
lie stopped as he gazed into the win-'
dow. “Why, why,” lie went on, “I
thought this was a toy store that you
were looking into!”
"Xaw,” returned Uedney. "It’s ato
: baceo store.”
‘‘But—but,” continued the man, “you
—you don’t smoke tobacco. You cer
tainly at your age cannot”—
"Naw,” returned Burke, “I don’t. I
—I wasn’t tbinkin’ about meself so
much. I was thin-kin’ about me old
father. He broke liis pipe last moot',
an’ lie ain’t had none since, an’ lie’s too
poor to git annuder one. I was lookin’
at. these. Gee! If I could git enough
of the stuff together, I wouldn't do a
thing but buy that there one for him—
me poor ole father.”
This was said with an air of the
greatest frankness, although Mr. Ited
noy Burke had always considered his
father, as did many others, in Pue light
of a genteel myth. Still lie thought lo
himself that if he had a father and if*
he himself were worth a few million or
so lie might--lie didn’t commit himself
upon the subject, however, even in his
thoughts- he might blow his father to
a pipe some time. This considerate
sentiment, he reasoned, justified his re
ply to the philanthropist.
“Well, well,” remarked the latter,
glancing down at the disinterested
specimen before him, “but what would
you like to have now for Christmas?”
IJedney shook his head. “I ain’t por
tieler about meself. If 1 could git Ilia;
there pipe an’,” he'addcd as he scent
ed possibilities heretofore unsuspected,
“ant a good bit of smokin’ tobacco, an'
one of them there rubber tilings to put
it in say, if j could do that for tli<“ <ld
man say! An’ wouldn’t lie feel stuei.
oil hisseli! But, gee, wet’s de use? 1
can’t do it, so I ini;; lii as well lie ge
in\”
Ho made this last, remark because he
knew intuitively that brevity, which is
the sou! of wil, is also the essential in
charitable enterprises, (food impulses
don’t last forever, so he moved oil,
shaking his head as lie want.
The big man looked up and down the
street to see if he was observed, then
he stretched forth Ids blind and caught
Rodney by the arm.
“Here, my boy," be exclaimed gently
ns no shoved a five dollar bill into Mr.
Uedney Burke's reluctant grasp '’here,
go and get the pipe for your father and
then go and get something for —for
yourself, and—and have at least one
happy Christmas that you can look
back upon.” 11 is eyes glistened a bit
as lie said it, and, to his credit, be it said,
he did not regret the impulse or the do
nation for a fulj two hours thereafter.
"T'nnks.” said Mr. Burke, with a hit
of a scrape and a stiff sort of bov
"t’anks from mean’ me old man!”
The next day there was a queer for
mation in an unfrequented corner of
th<' play yard of the Fourteenth ward
school. This formation resembled m re
Ilian anything else an Eskimo hut, but
composed, instead of inanimate ma
terial, of a very animated and intoresi d
crowd of boys gathered around a com
mon cent From the aperture ia tin
top of this human Eskimo dwelling,
and therefore heightening the ilium
ascended a column of smoke, and as ii
ascended to the skies there oami a
voice from within,
“Gee, fellers!” said the voice, “Gee,
but ain’t iiiis great?” It was the voice
of Mr. Uedney Burke, tbe votary of my
I.ady Nicotine, the center of an admir
ing crowd. He smoked a pipe—the pipe
of his heart- and lie filled it from a red
rubber eas e.
“Just fits in me pants pocket,” he ob
served. wVml us be said it lie pulled out
' n few dollar bills and exhibited them.
"An* 1 got four more plunks left!
What d’ye fink?” lie said.
Eater, in the class room, the teacher
lifted her head high in the air and
sniffed.
"t’a.l. 1 lay.” : <• ;• -marked severely,
’ a smoking. I want to know
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the circumstances, therefore,
lie * mopped with alacrity Into the
aisle*.- aud looked squarely into the
teacher's eyes.
"Me H 1 wo-me mother,” he explain
ed glibly "me mother had a smokin’
jag on yostkldy, an’ 1 had to stay home
an' till her pipes, an' me clo'os is full
of it. It ain’t me; it's her. JVye see?”
Then lie whipped out a small, new
leather pocketbook with a brand new
penny in it and handed it over. “An - a
merry Christmas to you. Miss Burt
whistle!’’ he remarked.
A Treasurf Tree.
One of the most famous Christmas
trios in history was erected at Wind
sor castle in the early fort is. It was
not so very remarkable for its height,
which was forty feet, but for the fact
that in the aggregate its crop of pres
ents amounted in value to ?-KS.OOO, or
; bo value of ike product of f.OUJ ac:v ;
of forest laud.
lives: ’ ’ "•
Bickers calls his office garb bis even
bn: suit because it places him on a
level with the other clerks,—Boston
Transcript.
ojk ion */*
Near the
North Pole
U W THINK Christmas, ISS3, was
Q my most memorable one,” said
JH General Greeiy, tlie arctic ex
plorer. “With my command I
was proceeding southward in the hope
of obtaining, help, and about the 20th
Of October we ensconced ourselves in
a little but at Cape Sabine. Our sup
ply of food was running very low, and
we were on very short rations, every
one being allowed just food enough iu
each twenty-four hours to sustain life.
Under these depressing circumstances
and amid the awful silence of the
polar night the cheerfulness that we
continued to maintain was roiwirkable.
It would have been a splendid oppor
tunity for Dickens’ character, Mark
Tapley, who was always seeking some
specially depressing situation in life to
show how jolly he could he under ad
verse circumstances. As the Christmas
season approached we all looked for
ward to it with eager anticipation, not
only as a festal day the associations
and memories of which would to some
extent vary the wearisome monotony
of our lives, but because we know that
tlio winter solstice would fall about
Dec. 22 and that then tho sun would
return and the long, drear? - night be at
an end.
“Christmas day came at 1 ist. Christ
mas in the arctic regions! At 0 o’clock
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Ti.r.T.TNG CHIUBTWAS STORIES.
we had our breakfast—thin soup made
of peas, carrots, blubber and potatoes.
Our Christmas dinner was served at 1
o’clock. Hearken to our menu, ye who
will sit down tlie coming Christmas
to roast turkey stuffed with oysters:
First course, a slehv of seal meat, on
ions, blubber, potatoes and broad
crumbs; second course, served one
hour after first, a stow of raisins, blub
ber and milk; dessert, a cup of hot
chocolate. The best and most Christ
maslike feature of this meal was that
we were all; wed a sufficient quantity
cf it to satisfy the pangs of hunger.
Our enjoyment of the d-.-.sort, one cup
of chocolate, we tried to prolong as
much as possible. Over it we told each
other Christmas stories. We exchanged
reminisconv s of bygone Christmases
at home with the loved ones so far
away. We dis -ussed the probability
of «..;ir over reaching our own firesides
again, and we entered into an agree
ment that if we got hack to civilization
before another Christmas wo would
pass the day together in memory, of
that awful Christinas we were then
spending in the realm of the relentless
ice king. Alas, many of those brave
fellows never lived to see another
Christmas!'’ -Buffalo Express.
On*' of Falb's
The Journal dee De’ ais tells a s ory of
Professor Rudolf Fnlb. in 1574 be pre
dicted an eruption of Etna on Aug. 27.
sie offer u a Vienna editor to write
an account of it if die editor would
send lam to Sicily. Falb was commis
sioned. When he reached Etna there
was not tlie slightest sign of disturb
ance. As the 27th approached Falb
was tortured with anxiety and spent
sleepless nights watching the volcano.
Nothing hupp, aed on tlie 27th and 2Sth.
Tee fri! .v! r n: t. > s, v: t
rushed iuto t • . ..•>• r s r -m shout
ing, "An err; n. a t a—.; v , rtrmon!”
Falb saw the sp.-ctade and s- nt off his
*i ’■ : 1.
C t* ivol'si .i'ji- -. «r’c.
“f i ■ ; •" .q." A.ai
tire ( . erring a < gu ii. a
cle er's window. '"Did .'ell.
custom was in mi-.iity smuti business
wlnm it cut pantaloons down to
pants.’’—Chicago Tribune.
»
Mexico’s Hot Pepper Sellers.
The hot pepper seller of Mexico is
a merchant who derives his livelihood
from the fact that the Mexican must
have his poppers, whatever else he may
deny himself. They are brought to his
door by the countryman, or he may go
to the market place and find them
spread out for sale on matting. The
market man, while dressed inexpen
sively as far as liis bodily garb is con
verncil, wears in nearly every instance
an elaborate head covering.
Some of. those Mexicans own bats
that cost as much as the rest of their
wardrobe. The pride of the "white man
in his panama is not to be compared to
that of the Mexican in bis sombrero.
# lt is a racial characteristic which finds
its counterpart in the apron of tbe
Portuguese onion seller. Her occupa
tion may be lowly, but her apron might
be that of a woman of higher degree.
Plush edged with fur is not uncom
mon.- -Everybody's Magazine.
The IJllpK.
Two thousand years ago it was sup
posed. that water lilies closed their
flowers at night and retreated far un
der water, to emerge again at sunrise.
This was Pliny’s view, and it was not
impeached until the English botanist
John Ray, in I<>BB, first doubted its
veracity.
The great lily of Zanzibar, one of the
grandest of the lily family, opens its
flowers, ten inches wide, between 11 in
tlie morning and 5 m the afternoon.
They are of the richest royal blue,
with from 150 to 200 golden stamens
in the center, and they remain open
four or five days.
It is not generally known that there
are lilies that have nocturnal habits—
night bloomers as well as day bloom
ers. They arc very punctual timekeep
ers, too, opening and closing with com
mand;! hie regularity.
Cats Fond, of Olives.
“I have often wondered if all cats
like olives,” remarked a Germantown
woman who is very fond of the feline
tribe. “All mine do, and I have six.
Oiives are usually an acquired taste
with the human race, but cats seem to
take to them naturally; at least mine
do. An olive will set any one of them
into paroxysms of joy. They will leave
milk or fish or anv other article of food
.a
for it. purring and rolling over it much
as though it might have the intoxicat
ing effect of catnip before they finally
eat it. I have often tried olives on
other cats in tlie houses of friends and
have found them equally appreciative,
only they prefer their olives cut up
into pieces.”—Philadelphia Record.
Glnusmakiiig: Isi Japan.
The art of making glass was intro
duced into Japan about 150 years ago
by a Hollander, who. settled at Osaka.
For several generations the knowledge
of the process.was confined to a single
family, aud it was not until about 1879
that the employment of coal instead of
charcoal and the construction of brick
chimneys enabled the manufacturers
to introduce improvements which placed
the industry on a substantial basis.
Osaka has continued to bo tbe center
of the industry and now manufactures
for export besides supplying the borne
demand.
An Englißli Bcroiigh,
In the days of "rotten boroughs” in
England that of Gatton Park is said to
have been tho worst. It had only one
qualified voter, and yet it returned two
members of parliament. Of course
with this right the property was very
valuable, and in ISMO it was purchased
by Lord Monson for $500,000. Two
years later it was disfranchised.
A Bonifstia Ineongraity.
Naggsby—You say that is a picture of
the comptroller of the currency and his
wife?
Waggsby—Never! I said that was
the currency and that that is his wife
with him, but controller of Ids wife—
never!—Baltimore American.
51»i»es ansi Sti-isifrs.
"lie seems to think lie’s n winn/r
with the girls.”
"Yes, he thinks he knows the rones.”,
“I guess that’s why it’s so easy for
them to get him on a string.”—Phila
delphia Ledger.
Obstinate-.
Magistrate (sternly.)—Didn’t I tell you
the last time you were here I- never
wanted ybu to come before me again?
Prisoner—Yes, sir, but I couldn’t
make the policemen believe it.
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Liv;ry. ard Sale " • * v ”
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HSAR T *<::«■ .*• tITSLi !y >- c \ . : ‘_j
Turn cure furnished drui . I,
mas to :tny ].:u{ .. . -
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MOTHL : v?j
Wintry Wrinkles.
Oh. the hai rv boy is flopping
Down tho i.JI with his new sled,
While the hum! A tramp is chopping
Kindling v. cod out in the shed.
And the ruffled,
Muffled, stufß-'d
ChicKlet pecks the frozen corn.
And the golden,
Molden, olden
Brandy’s looked for ev’ry morn! :
The fragile maid is skating
On the pond behind the mill;
The sparrow's masticating t
Frozen crumbs upon the sill, • *
And the bawling,
Sprawling, crawling
Infant's wrapped in flannels hot.
While 'J. z -aling,
Ever healing
Goose gr- a - ■ stands beside the cot.
The suburbanite is skipping
To his snow becovered lair,
And old Boreas is flipping
Merry snov Hake:: through the air.
And the creeping.
Leaping, sleeping
Trolley car hops through the mush,
While the rosy,
Always dozy
Butcher's boy slops through the slusfc.
T 1 tese wintry scenes T fancy
A 5; I’m snuggled in my bed.
Concealed so .that you can’t see ‘
E’en the bald: - ss of my head.
And the dashing,
Clashing, smashing
Hailstones rhyme upon my pane,
While 1" coolly,
Honest, truly,
Dream that summer's here again.
—New York Journal.
Christmas Dinner Recipes.
Chestnut s:affine ;s the most deli
cious that can go with a Christmas tur
key. Shell a quart of Italian or French
chestnuts. Put in hot water and boil
until tho skins are softened; drain off
tho water and remove the skins. Press
them, a few at a time, through a colan -
der and season with butter, salt and
pepper. Add chopped parsley, onion
and bread crumbs and season with
stock.
Giblct'Bauce.— Roil tlio giblets until
tender; chon then’, but not too line, and
add a tablespoonful of flour to the pan
in which the turkey was roasted.
Brown the dour, stirring constantly,
adding slowly a cupful of water in
which the Hl.iris were lriled; season
with salt ami popper and add tho chop
ped giblets.
A Cotuitrj Xrmieil JHik" C!i~’ lstm.: :.
South Africa was discovered by tho
Portuguese, who were searching for an
ocean road Jo India. Bartholomew
Diaz was the commander of the two
little ships that formed the expedition
in 148 G. Eleven .wars later Da Ga ua
took another I’ortv.giu.-re licet south,
lie discovered Natal on Christmas day
and iliiia named if in consequence.
Tale c? n Cl'.ri-.im.-i-i Survivor.
“But where is that beautiful tail you
lmd d:l b. fi .'O y. • ..••'da;*; 4 '
I win* tils
you lose.’ Well, 1 took to my lieelPaud
lost my tail, but lie did not win ray,
head.” ;
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Bo te> I
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g Rhcumatlsn,'. Bypbi!i», Scrofula, Blood j
Poison, Sv/elilags, St!.f, Paiafnl Joint/:, t
Backache, Old Sores, Bolts, ana. .1,!;;
| diseases arising from impure cr irapov- Sj
erished blood. If it fails to cure, or i|
-dots cot satisfy the purchaser oi Us |i
worth, we will
tho Monopr i
paid direct to us, cr to any druggist or jj
d dealer ia medicine, for Go’dea Rh/U:
I snatjc Care. When 70,1 want a blood |
lTH33Tcine, insist on having “O. S. CA’ .|
ij 1 f your dealer dag noi have it, esje him '-!
'to order it for you; or sand your money ij
to us by mail, wo will ship “G-, B. >\
C.” to you with ell express charges ‘j
prepaid, * Price 91M per bottlo; six :
for $5.00.
TKE G. Tt. €. CCc*
*OVB MAKVPACTURSRS AKB PSOPmSTOas. j;
Tiften, tia.
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