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THE GEORGIA LEGISLATORS.
••Old B.’*“ Opinion of tone of tho Mom*
bent of lit* I.eirUtlnlnro*
JORDAN, OF HANCOCK.
A lawyer. Large, tine specimen of a
1 Southern gentleman. flood speaker—a
i diamond of the first water in the rough—
always at his post.
HAMMOND, OF THOMAS.
A tall, fine-looking gentleman, called the
“ silver-tongued orator of the Georgia Leg
islature.” Don't speak often, when he
does receives the whole attention of the
House, and his words roll out as smooth
as oil on glass.
H. O. TURNER, OF BROOKS.
Quiet, fine sense, good speaker, and
always on the right side. Medium size
and height, with a long head in every sense
of the word. Could fill any office in the
State with honor to himself and constitu
ents.
A. O. BACON, THE SPEAKER.
The handsomest man in the State. Won
the esteem and love of every member by
his impartiality, firmness and kindness.
The best presiding officer the House has
ever had since the first assembling.
H. H. CARLTON, OF CLARK.
Needs no eulogy in this County, as he is
well known as a good legislator. Fine
speaker—always at his post—watchful as
a tiger, and next to Bacon the handsomest
man in the House.
T. J. HAHRAIJSON, OF UNION.
A bom orator. In a speech, describing
his mountain country, the people, their
want of a railroad and their claims upon
the State, brought tears to my eyes, and I
felt like slipping out to keep from voting
against aid for the North Georgia and Ma
rietta Railroad —but did not. His County
ought to be proud of him.
Xmiiing the Thliih.
Max Adder in New York Weekly.
A friend of Butterwick's who staid at his
house a short time after the twins were
born, overheard the following conversation
between the fond parents one night after
all hands had retired. He was in the ad
joining room.
Mrs. B.—What shall we call the twins,
Ilenry. dear?
B.—Oh, 1 dunno. Almost any good
I names. How would Moses and Aaron do ?
5 or Cain and Abel ?
Mrs. H.—You oi'ight to be ashamed of
i yourself to want to name one of your own
lehildren after a murderer! You might
have hunted the whole Bible through with
out finding anything worse?
B.—o, well, call them Shadrach, Me
shach, and Abednego then?
Mrs. B.—You know very well that there
are only two twins, and that they can't
have three names divided equally between
them. I hsttc Scripture names anyhow. I
want to call them after some distinguished
man.
B.—Well, name one of them Butler and
the other Schtlrz.
Mrs. B.—l'd rather die on the spot than
have a child of mine named after a shirt.
# B.—How’ll Bismarck and Gortschakoff
■ suit you ?
Mrs. B.—Butterwick. you know 1 can't
abide those German names. You would
inflict a curse on your innocent boy if you
would send him through the world with
such a name as Bismarck Butterwick. ou
know very well you would. I prefer an
American name. One that belongs to this
1 country.
B.—Very well, then, call one of them
* Spotted Tail and the other Hole-in-the
l)ay. Those are indigenous to this conti-
Lnent.
7 Mrs. B.—Mr. Butterwick, if you are
|going to turn the subject into ridicule, 1
■will get up and dress myself, andgodown-
Istairs. Vou shan't insult me to my face,
anyhow. You know well enough that 1
■ meant some white American name.
B.—How would Smith and Jones an
| sw r er ?
Mrs. B. —I’d rather bury both of them
in one grave. Why don’t you suggest some
‘distinguished American name?
j B. —O, all right; there’s Benedict Ar
nold and Martin Van Buren.
0 Mrs. B.—They shall never have those
I names with my consent.
B.—How about Adams?
\ Mrs. B.—That's only one name and
| there are two babies.
I B.—Well, call one “A ” and the other
•* Dams,”
Mrs. B.—Mr. Butterwick, if you use
language like that again I*ll go home to
mother’s this very night.
B.—Well, then, if you must have the
name of celebrated Americans, call one
“ Tilly Slowboy'*and the other “Toodles.”
Mrs. B— Were they prominent men'' I
don’t remember hearing about them be
fore.
B.—Why, my dear, they both signed
the Declaration of Independence, and Slow
boy was Vice-President under Washington.
If you want straight out revolutionary pa
triots, those arc your men.
Mrs. B.—What did Mr. Toodles do?
B.—Louisa, I am surprised at your ig
norance ! Don't you know that he com
manded at Valley Forge ?
IMrs. C.—l don't think much of their
names, anyhow. Say over some others.
B.—Lem me see. Well now, there’s Me
phistopheles. and—
Mrs. B—What did you say he did?
B.—Did? Why he commanded the frig
ate Constitution in the war of 1812, and he
Was killed while nailing the American flag
Bm the mast.
Mrs. B.—And you want to name one of
your children after him?
*1.30 A YEAR.
B.—Certainly. Why not? Noble old
patriot ! Did he not die in defense of
Why, Louisa, what are you going to do?
Mrs. B.—Why, I'm going to quit this
house and take the twins with me. and stay
away forever. I know just as well as you
do that Mephistopheles is another name for
the devil. I’ve seen him at the opera. It
is perfectly infamous for you to suggest
such a name for your own flesh and blood.
1 don't believe in your Slowboys or Too
dles either. I'in certain that you have
been telling scandalous stories, and now 1
am going to leave.
Then Butterwick was heard to use a per
suasive tone with Mrs. 8., and finally she
made it up with him. The twins were
eventually baptised John and Henry.
Van Bender lleiishpeeked T
Scribner's Maya tine.
Any shentleman vot vill go round pehind
your face, und talk in front of your hack
apout some tings, vas a shvindlcr. 1 beared
dot Brown says veek pefore next apout me
I vas a henshpecked huspant. Dot vas a
lie ! De proof of de eating vas in the pud
dings ; 1 am married twenty year already,
und 1 vas yet not pald-tleadcd. I don't
vas oondcr some pettygoats gofemments;
shtill l tinks it vas petter if a feller vill in
sult mit his vife nnd got her adivices apout
sometings or oder.
Deni American vomans don't know some
tings nefer apout his huspant't peesness,
und vhen dem hart times comes, und not
so much money comes in dc house, dot
makes not some tifierence mit her. Shtill
she moosthave vone of dot pull-hack-in-de
front hoop-skirt-petty-goats, mit every kind
of trimmings. Booty soon dot huspant
gets pankerupted all to pieces. I)ey send
for de doctor; und vhen de doctor comes
de man dies. Den dot vomans vas opliged
to marrv mit anoder mans vot she don't
maype like, mit four or six shildrens on
account of his first vife already, und pos
sohably vone or two mudders-by-law—
vone second-handed, und de oder a shtep
mudder-out-law. l)en she says mit herself.
“ I efen vish dot 1 vas dead a little."
Now if a Ghermans goes dead, dot don't
make a pit of tifierence. Nopody vould
hardly know it, except maype himself.
His vife goes mit de peesness <*n shu*t like
notings has happened to somebody.
American vomans and Gherman vomans
vas a titt'erent kind of peoblcs. For in
shtinct, last year dot same feller, Mr.
Brown, goes mit me in dc putcher peesness
togeder. lie vas American man—so vas
his vife. Veil, many time vhen cfery peo
bles has got de panic pooty bad, dot vo
mans conies to her huspant und says she
must have money. Den she goes out rid
ing mit a carriages.
Vonce on a time Brown says to me,
“Bender. E vouldn't be henshpecked.” So
he vent off und got himself tight—shust
because his vife telis him. “ Blease don't
do dot.” Den he sits on his pack mit de
lloor, und if I am not derc dot time he
never vould got home.
Veil, dot night me und my vife ve had a
little talk apout sometings; und de next
tay I says to Brown, “ Look here vonst!
My vife she makes sausages, und vorks in
dot shtore ; also my taugliter she vorks py
de shtore und makes hcad-skeeses; und
your vife vas going out riding all de times
mit de horses-car, und a patent tied-back
cardinal shtriped stockings. Now your
vife moost go vork in de shtore und cut
peefshteaks, und make sauerkraut, or else
ve divide not equally any more dot profits.”
Veil, Brown goes home und he tells his
vife apout dot. Den she comes pooty
quick mit Brown around, und ve had a
misundershtanding apout sometings, in
vich eferypody took a part, including ray
lettle dog Kaiser. Pooty soon up comes a
policemans und arrests us for preaches of
promise to keep de pieces, und assaulting
de battery, or sometings. Den dc firm of
Bender und Brown vas proke up. 1 go
apout my peesness, und Drown goes mit
his peesness. My vife she helps in de shtore.
His vife goes riding mit de horses-cars, und
efery night she vas by de theater.
Vat's de gonsequcnces? Along comes
dot Centennial panic. Dot knocks Brown
more higher as two kites, py Chimminy !
My income vas shtill more as my outcome.
But Brown he goes round dot shtreets mit
his hands out of his pockets, und he don't
got a cent to his back.
\j i‘ and Mtnnton.
Washington Nation.
Senator Nye went to Secretary Stanton
once to make a petition for some dead sol
dier's orphans. It was the darkest days of
the war. Stanton said, “ I haven’t time,
Mr. Nye, to see to what you want.”
“Suppose you take time, Mr. Secre
tary,” said Nye.
“ You are unreasonable. Mr. Nye, in
pressing such a thing at this time,” said
Stanton.
“ Permit me to say that you are the un
reasonable man,” answered Nye.
“ If you were not a United States Sena
tor I should say you were very imperti
nent,” said Stanton, haughtily.
“If you were not a great Secretary of
War I should be tempted to say you were
making a fool of yourself,” replied
the old Cray Eagle, with his eyes blazing.
Stanton looked at him a moment, and
then softening, said, “ Maybe I am. Jim ;
who knows? Come inside and tell me all
about it.”
“ Now, Ned. my boy. you are growing
sensible,” said Nye; and the business was
quidkly arranged.
HARTWELL, GA„ WEDNESDAY, MARCH 21, 1877.
Th Model Subscriber.
“ Good morning. sir; Mr. Editor,
llow are your folks to-day ?
I owe for your next year's paper ;
I thought I'd come and pay.
And Jones is to take it,
And this is his money here ;
I shut down tendin’ it (p him,
And then coaxed him to try it a year.
And here is a few items that happened
Last week in our town :
I thought they'd look good for the paper,
And so I just jotted \ m down.
And here's a bushel of russets.
My wife picked expressly for you ;
A small hunch of tlowers from Jennie.
She thought she do something, too.
You're doin’ the politics bully,
As all our family agree ;
Just keep your old goose quill a flappin',
And give them a good one for me.
And now you are chuck full of business.
And I won't he takini.your time.
I've things of my own 1 must tend to—
Good day. sir, 1 believ ; 1 will climb.”
The editor'sat in his sanctum.
And brought down his fist with a thump.
“ God bless that old farmer !” he muttered.
“ He's a regular jolly trump.”
And 'tis thus with our noble profession,
And thus it will ever be still;
There are some who appreciate its labor
And some who perhaps never will.
But in the great time that is coming
When Gabriel's trumpet shall sound,
And they who have labored and rested
Shall come from the quivering ground ;
And they who have striven and suffered
To teach and ennoble the race,
Shall march to the front of the column,
Each one in his God-given place ;
As they march through the gates of the City.
With proud victorious tread,
The editor and his assistants
Will not he far from the head !
Wit and Humor.
A man who had a scolding wife, being
asked what he did for a living, replied that
he kept a hot-house.
A wit once askenj a peasant what part he
performed in the gTeftl drama of life. “1
Blind my own business," was the reply.
A person looking, at- a urn. skeletons the
other day. asked a young doctor present
where he got them. “We raised them,"
he replied.
“Is the moon made of green cheese,
youngster?” “No sir, certainly not.”
“How do you prove that?” “Oh easy
—the moon was made before the cows.”
Thought I'd leave my measure on your
floor said a man who fell down in a bar
room. No necessity for that, said the bar
keeper. we know exactly how much you
hold.
“ Smithers, how can you sleep so? The
sun has been up these two hours.” “ Well,
what if lie has?” said Smithers. “lie
goes to bed at dark, while Pin up till after
midnight.”
•‘Bill,” said Bob, “why is that tree
called the weeping willowP” “Cause one
of them sneaking plaguy tilings grew near
the school-house, and supplied the master
with switches.”
While waiting at a railroad station, one
ministerial brother asked another what his
well-fillen carpet-bag contained. The an
swer was, referring to seven written ser
mons : “ Dried tongue.”
An Irishman went to live in Scotland for
a short time, but didn't like the country.
“ I was sick all the time I was there,” said
he; “and if I had lived there till this time,
Pd been dead a year ago !”
While the Radical adversary disinte
grates. the Democracy. North and South,
should consolidate. The solid South holds
the fort. The man who attempts to divide
this section had better go drown himself.
It was at the dinner of an Irish associa
tion that the following toast was given :
“ Here's to the President of the Society—
Patrick O’ Rafferty: an'may he live to
eat the chicken that scratches over his
grave.”
A German looked up at the sky, and re
marked : “ I guess a leedle it vill rain some
dime pootv queek.” “ Yees do eh?’ re
plied an Irishman. ‘ What business have
yees to purtend to know about Amerikin
weither, ye furriner?”
When a man without cash or credit, says
the Oil City Derrick, attemps to leave a
hotel, and lowers his valise out of a back
window by means of a rope. It makes char
ity seem cold to hear the voice of the land
lord yelling out: “ All right. I've got the
valise ; let go the rope.”
Boy (explaining his geography lesson to
his little sister)—” You see. sis. the inhab
itants of South Africa don't need any clothes
to keep them warm because they're Hotten
tots. But the Coolies are a different kind
of folks, and so are the Chili people. Don't
you see ?”
The fifteen members of the Commission
were photographed ; and Harper's Wcekiy
published woodcut portraits of them—very
fair ones too. The sheet containing these
portraits were hung up in the Times office.
A stranger, stepping in to purchase a pa
per, turned suddenly as he passed the por
traits. and. pointing to Morton’s face, said :
” I saw that chap in the Toombs the day
before he was hung!” lie was greatly
mistaken in his man.
“How like its father it is,” said the
nurse on the christening of a baby whose
father was seventy years old. “ Very like
said a sartirieal lady ; bald, and not a tooth
in its head.”
A school boy was asked by his teacher
to give an example of earnestness. He
looked bothered for a moment, but his
face brightening like the dew drops glisten
ing on the leaves of the rose in early
morning, as he delivered himself of the fol
lowing happy thought: “ When you see
a boy engaged on a nice pie till his nose
touches the middle plum and his ears droop
on the outer crusts, you may know he's
got it.”
Alas ! alas ! What a peculiar significance
attaches to the following episode, which
we clip from an exchange : A man bought
a gallon of gin to take home, and, by way
of a label, wrote his name upon a card,
which happened to he the seven of clubs,
and tied it to the handle. A friend coming
along and observing the jug quietly re
marked. “That's an awful careless way to
leave that liquor!” “Why? said Tom.
Because somebody might come along with
! the eight of clubs and take it.”
I An up-town man and his wife agreed
recently to learn a verse of Scripture every
I evening and repeat it to each other for inu
! tual improvement. The first night how
ever, her quotation happened to be, “Am
j I not thy ruler ?" and tiis was to the effect
that he'd he d—d if she was ; and the only
result of the plan so far as has been learned
is that lie has taken to drink, and exhibits
a willingness to sleep in the woodshed at
night.
An old lad}'on a steamboat observed two
men pumping up water to wash the deck,
and the captain being near, she addressed
him as follows : “ Well, captain, got a
well on board,eh?”
‘•Yes, ma'am, always carry one,” said
the polite captain.
“Well that's clever. I always dislike this
nasty river water, especially m dog days.”
One of the fruit dealers of Portland
caught an urchin stealing nuts, and pro
ceeded to administer condign punishment.
The boy begged to be released because lie
had just been vacinnated from a fresh cow.
“ What lias that to do with it?” shouted
the infuriated fruit dealer. “She was a
hooking cow and got it into iny blood,” was
the whimpering reply.
“Say, Pat, suppose satan was to come
along now, and see both of us here, which
do you suppose he would take—you or me ?”
“ Oh, faith, yer honor! he'd take me.”
“How so?” “ Well, sir,” said Pat, “he'd
take me now, because be wouldn't be sure
of me when he came again? but he'd be sure
of you at any time and could afford to
wait.”
“Jake,” said the blushing damsel to a
lover that her father had forbidden the
house, “ 1 don’t care if your feet are big,
I love you just as much.” “ Wall, Sally,
1 don't mind so much about the size of my
own feet, but I wish your dad's were a
little smaller; I should feel a little more
confident, you know, about staying.”
Two Hibernians were passing a stable
which had a rooster on it for a weather
vane, when one addressed the other thus :
“ pat, what’s the rason they didn’t put a
bin up there instid of a rooster ?” “An ’
sure,” replied Pat, “that’s aisy enough.
Don't ye see it would be inconvenient to go
up after the eggs ?”
He had been in the habit of making very
frequent calls on a very agreeable lady of
his acquaintance, and on entering her par
lor one evening, he said. “Well, Miss
Sims, here I am again, you see, as regular
as the fever and ague.” “Oh, no,” said
she verv demurely, “that comes only
every other day.”
A citizen of Cherokee county who was
taken to Atlanta the other day and com
mitted to jail for violating the revenue laws,
was asked if he hail any word he wished to
send home. “No,” said he, “only I wish
to send my wife word to have some more
malt ready by the time 1 return.”
A darkey who was stooping to wash his
hands In a creek, didn't notice the peculiar
action of a goat just behind him, so when
he scrambled out of the water and was
asked how it happened, be answered : “ I
'dunno zacldv ; but ’peared as ef de shore
kinder h'isted and frovved me.”
Poor Beak Woninu.
Miss Susan Nipper, who lived in a small
tenement, a lone woman, was uuite flatter
ed the other morning by au early call from
a bachelor neighbor.
“ What do you coine here after?" said
Miss Nipper.
•• I came to borrow matches," he meekly
replied.
•• Matches! That's a likely story. YV by
don't you make a match? I know what
you came for." said the exasperated old
virgin, as she backed the bachelor into a
corner. “ You came here to hug and kiss
me nearly to death ! But you shan’t with
out you are the strongest, and the Lord
knows that you are !”
A New Method that cures Coughs,
Colds, Bronchitis and Consumption. Dr. J.
H. McLean's Cough and Lung Healing
Globules. As they dissolve in your mouth,
a healing gas is generated and inhaled, per
meates and comes in direct cbutact, will
cure Throat and Lung diseases. Trial
Boxes, by mail, 25 cents. Dr. J. 11. Mc-
Loaii. 314 Chestuut st., St. Louis.
THE ENDING OF A LONG LIFE.
C .plain Übrbuwh't One Hundred and
Eleventh liirtbdn).
An* York Herald.
Yesterday (March 9th) was the 11 Uh
birthday of the well known Captain T.shr
busch, the oldest man of New York, if not
or this country. In former vears the birth
day of this remarkable centenarian was
celebrated by a festive dinner, partly given
in his honor by General John Watts de
I‘eyster. and which was usually attended
by a largo number of distinguished people.
A few years ago, however, an exceedingly
violent attack was made upon the genuine
ness, so to speak, of Captain Lahrluiseh’s
wonderful age. and since then this geninl
custom has fallen into desuetude. It re
mains an astonishing fact that this man of
111 years looked scarcely over seventy.
His thin frame was bent, to he sure, but
not more so than that of most men of Of*
or 70. while his skin and complexion re
tained a freshness which, together with
the extraordinary absence of those tell
tale indications of old age, crow's feet,
seemed utterly incompatible with such a
marvellous old age. This comparative
youthfulness of Captain Lahrbuscli's ap
pearance of course renders his case all the
more remarkable. If he lias deceived the
world it lias been one of the cleverest im
positions of the age. The most promi
nent men of New \ ork—Thurlow Weed,
A. T. Stewart, and many others—have de
lighted to do him honor, and it is eveu
stated that ( aptain Lalirhusch has received
for a long time a pension from a w ealthy
citizen deeply interested in his extraordi
nary history. While living on the second
floor of a plain brick house on Third ave
nue. just above Thirty-fourth street, ho
would often breakfast at the residences of
the wealthy on Fifth avenue, who would
he anxious to hear him recount his remin
iscences of a generation slumbering in their
graves for the last fifty years. But it is
due to Captain Lalirhusch to say that the
weight of evidence is in his favor, and that
nearly nil the prominent men who have in
vestigated his case and made inquiries at
the British War Office proclaim their belief
in his claim to ho considered one of the
very oldest men of the world,
Captain Lnhrbusch’s birthday yesterday
was not celebrated even in the retirement
ol his home because of his serious illness.
It is sad to contemplate that this eventful
life is at last drawing to a close. On Thurs
day lie called Mr. McGrath, an old friend
who keeps a furniture shop in the same
house, and told him in mournful and feeble
accents that he believed this was his last
illness and that he knew he never could re
cover. He was stretched upon a lounge
and looked worn and pallid. His voico
had wofully failed, his skui was shrivelled,
and the change that had come over him
was indued sad to look at. 11c complained
that his anpotite was entirely gone ; that
he suffered much pain, and seemed to bo
utterly prostrate. Ho was greatly de
pressed mentally, and in spite of his 111
years the old man seemed loth to depart
from a world the sweets of which he had
enjoyed far beyond the period allotted to
most men. Mr. McGrath stated that he
had contracted the present serious illness
some five weeks ago, when he went out one
raw and hitter morning to call upon Mrs.
A. T. Stewart. He was urged not to go,
but replied that he had not seen Mrs.
Stewart, who was an old friend of his,
since the death of her husband, and would
not lie dissuaded. Immediately upon his
return from that fatal visit he was stricken
down, and the neighbors who have seen
him all declare that the end cannot long he
deferred. Ilis life is fast ebbing away,
they say, and they all kindly regret the
foolhardiness with which he provoked his
present illness.
It is no easy task even for one who has
read a sketch of Captain Lahrhusch’s life,
and who is familiar with the date of his
birth—March !>, 1700 —to realize the matter
of fact significance of his wondrous age.
Is it not difficult to realize that this man
was born three years before Napoleon L,
who has been dead these fifty-six years;
that at his birth Louis XV. ruled m long
suffering France, that Maria Theresa anil
Frederick the Great swayed the sceptres of
Austria and Prussia, that William Pitt was
only a boy of seven, and that Madame de
Stael was born in the same year? We may
think of these things by an effort of mem
ory, hut who can call that time vividly be
fore the mind and associate it with the life
of one who. until a few weeks ago took his
meals regularly and might be seen riding
down town in a Third avenue ear any fine
day a hale and hearty old man ? The dim
and faded historical past seems to spring
into life and flesh in the presence oi this
living remnant of an epoch long, long gone
by. it seems almost impossible to believe
that this man was a friend of Blucher,
knew Marshal Ney, Eugene, Victor and
Lefevre ; that he fought under Sir Arthur
Wellesley in the Peninsular war. and kept
guard at Napoleon's prison at St. Helena
sixty long eventful years ago. His strange
history would fill a thrilling chapter of ro
mance. Entering the British army at an
early age, fighting against Napoleon's he
roes during the most memorable years of
the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, re
tiring finally at fifty-two from active ser
vice, and marrying the wife of his bosom,
then suffering shipwreck and losirg both
wife and fortune—the latter the savings of
a whole life—and finally living to be re
vered for his venerable past by the mem
bers of a generation who look upon him as
some wondrous monumental relic of an
tiquity—surely this is no ordinary career,
and it becomes even more astonishing when
the perilous scenes through which he pass
ed unharmed are remembered. It almost
seeins as though he bore a charmed life
and as though a special Providence had
watched over him in order to preserve him
to us as one of the greatest centenarians of
the age.
The proprietor of the Savannah Ncw
offers two liberal prizes for original stories
to be published in the Weekly New# and
Sunday Telegram.
NUMBER 30.