The Democrat
A Live Weakly Paper on Live Issues
Published Every Friday Morning,
at Crawfordville, tea.
W-D-SULIftVAiTi Proprietor
HATES OF SUBSVBTPTTOX:
Single Copy, tone year.) . . . S 2 Of:
Single Single Copy, Copy, (si* months,) . i no
(three months,) . .. 50
l-t/' Advertising rates iiheral. ROOK
end JOB PRINTING a specialty. Prices
to suit the times.
New Advertisements.
^Jfc_ i
\,
V a*
A ip? ^7
Ml ifrs
dce-6-187f-j-y
SSESSs^
apr 12,'TS-jy
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fRESCaiPTIOtf jorth** ,*ur**of SemhmlAYf*ttkm*ss, FP.SE! l.r.st
ManliO'xl ami nil d ^ordf-rs htou-»i.u>n hy Indis*
cwtionorrx '-4w. Any him U"‘insTe*
ff'n.itrt. S>r. \v. .1 i S A <11,. Au. 12Q
"*»* kil* Mtvel, Viuclunut , «.
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I > E* I ! r AM Ml
*- SB, tSSa
TOBACCO
»prl2,’7S-i-v
OETi $100,t:<50.1-500,$1000
Broker*. VWW|-Aiik, Nn. f.'*W Pu»®a Fwrr^iih^.tr k ro.,
V y,^ m 4 ^ e
4<Bifr8hle fn*,i^ut.
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flrcttlareand p** ? ’ iumt. K >p.ituau»ry
weekly jornieuifree
»prl2,’78-j-y
D 2 & m RICE 9
SCnrlPlffi, LOUISVILLE, KY.,
A re jalmnw «r^ ] •«*»- q»«Rfl t 4 j^'vsir^an and lha
•M»ta»'M« r «L m h*« )r*< id • will prc»«. Cures • lorau
of F-rWaw, I «*«««, Tn , *toT»
X’tt«a • n * I »•* tlie rest.ii ot
akoMiM yw .•*, se*“*>i Uiewt'iri or - tber
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. n'fti tV« Avsrtj.’.i* Swretvef
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Co* j • - « t—' ewl lavi».*d, ciurg*s
4tto-lcwt»e«p»u.'a. vt eui-eiff >wMiM«(.ri«L
A PIUVATF. COUNSELOR
C'SOO »*»t •- aetr »^4re«<, securely scaled. f«*r tlilrty
(80) com*, •ee-'.wt'l he r- 4 bv ail. Addrrts m alove.
Ueuta f»*« (* A. M. to 7 P. M. BuxtAit)’*, l to ± P. i*.
Bprl‘J f ’78-j-y
Pd , *41?110Is - T .. mSSTTQ- „
lyllj w ®*- a N. Eighth I B St.
‘■Okis, l« 0 ,
ffif vr2 , "!v fh ’' , : ’“r-••» 1 f* ;
mommhi.wr.ii . •IVi'JwiJi.uii’S
«ured*'' 1 '" 1
The PHYSIOLOGY OF RIARRiAf «■
Tho PRIVATE CiiDICAi ADViGt -3
SukiftaHsmiwc-xoM
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££“««*»»•• A* t under V'-.i,on
» p « »»*<*«»«». Hawn
upm.’TR-j-y
BURNHAM’S
mjM»T£»iiiiiE5c:;;r£:‘. mLiImfis.
IVoihs : Chi., .a.,a, Lani-asier to., I'a.
VIU’k : 23 is. Beaver St., York, Pa.
t!Ov.l,187fi: j-y.
------’“ivvcA jUs$
JOfev IVY*3
7 IVj!l Pf D&v f-'fe-'VG'T'A'S '•'*£■&
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OinnO.o yumu.p T?u*linrvlo lilcnaids, Agent, Iffmi
Craw 5* rtlvillp, Ga.
*pn8.l87S-t-v
Augusta
Corner Broad k. Washington Sts.,
Augusta, - - - Georgia.
Has been thoroughly F#m, rated, Bemodel
ed, and Newly Furnished.
It is located in the centre of business.
Telegraph Office in the Hotel Build
lug. Express Office in the same
block. Post-OOiee only one
block off. Ail oilier
public conveniences
close at hand.
W The Office of the Hotel will he
open be during the night, and guests will
reci ived or called at any hour.
W. M. MOORE, Prcp’r.
RATES OF BO A ED, S2, per day.
marl
Tne 1 )emocrat.
Yol. 3.
A. G. DICKINSON,
_Dealer in—
T Drv \ Goods n i and in Groceries’, •
*
Wines,Liquors,&c. _ T . .
CranfortMllc, - Georgia,
have removed one door below my old
stand where I will he nleased to have
them call and examine rnv select
STOCK OF DRY GOODS,
which I am selling fir the very lowest
figures that car be afforded.
NEW SALOON. " r
In connection witli my store, I have
opened a new SALOON, and keep on
hand the best
^\\ ^ jTC| A1.C31 S?,
Tobacco, Cigars, &c.
to lie found in town. The public are in
vited to come and trv for themselves.
A. G. DICKINSON.
novl-j-m
M. Markwalter,
iVatclimakor and Jeweler 7
GREESiisBoRO. gGobgIA,
t r * avo ir ha,I iuv mum- vMr. people’
I offer mil! services to tlie p'rae- of
Tsliaien-o adjoining eountie* as a
ticii WATCHMAKER ami dEWELEii,
feeling non, and confident do of «il shility the work to give entrusted satistuc
to to
me m i ie very ue»tstyle.
Bly Prices arc Low
work promptly executed and guaranteed
1 also have no |i,-uid a splendid stock 0 f
WATCHES, is respectfully JEWELRY, solicited. &c. Your Address,
milage semi
or your work to
nov-K) ’?* isint ^ |! a
L_
BARGAINS I RtRGAIVs ‘ 11 ’
JjwU I l U il’ 1\ i 1)1'' 4 I k i I i
; / ;
WONDEB* “TT-TT AE'D -
GKBAT REDUCTION!
— IX THE —
Frier, of Liquors • l
ALL KINDS AND BRANDS!
1,200 Gallons [ ; 4()() ,
—AT—
1). A. WILLIAMS & SOVS
Old Nelson County liourhon Whisky, liere
XXXX - ,heretofore -Monougahelsitye sold at ss.nn Whiskey 1 ,-iiuced reduc'd to Ss.ou
out rXm..t p v » fv, ■« -Son J" **•»! f ”
XX live Whiskv trem 5!no
XX Georgia Corn, from to i.‘M
Mountain Gap Georgia (.him, 4.no to a.«o
Bogun 1 Hiaiuty, Brandy, imw 4.no to
Tearh r. vrs old from 4.on 10 ti.oo
{I!' 1 Apple-Jack. Hum to
cuem- liSnl ltuui.' v tram S no to o w
Janmira from 350 to »so
Holland Gin. from 4.00 to «;r,
Galiuvtna G’ntawba Wine, a.-.o to 2.5»
D*rt Wine, from • 3 .so to 2.30
' q'tUen-iVv'inV {iiJo ‘t'l-nin -V'?n J°
ive lmve a finoline of CAVVEU
«OODb, "
such as
TINE APPLES ’
PEACHES, TOMATOES,
° s7vm'vir«
6
IOitsTFB
SALMON, Jtc.
Peas and Sicailis 5
T?rt1m»*na rid, *JAU.fii)tt,gC, fee. P «
We have a ftill line of CASE LIQUORS
embracing every of brand named above, with
a splendid lot
TOBACCO AND CIGARS.
ConfectionPl ies N nnarninilts UMtOinUtS, Ivai&ins, Raisins
OiangPS. Apples, &C.
Thanking our c«-tomers for m«t in*,-on
-IB'*, and soliciting a continuance of the
same. We are respeetfnllv,
D. A. WILLIAMS A SON.
nov-22- , 78»t-<>-o Cr.wvfiivGvilU*, Ga.
“
~
^aBOSS , mrrm PAIENT STTptt^
• /jr' S \\ ^
It \1
It gmm J/ /J
Vf
SS
bLa
( WBmsm
m : -, , - ■*
yj
COLD
WATCH CASES
0 P/?S ont 0,l! ^ a B old surface. While costing but
toll the money, they are as shwv and elctrant a.
SOW. CERTIFICATE and are WARRANTED BY
TO WEAR TWEN
If you have not fern these watches, ask yenr
jeweler for them. It ho docs not keep themftc;!
toSed OatX”e- aiS0 ’. anJ *“ *“ 4 ^ “ illUS -
HAGSTOZ& THORPE,
Sixth and Chestnut Sts., PmitDjifnu, Pa.
**-SoId only through Regular Dealers.-**
Crawfordvulle, Georgia, January 3, 1879.
Miscellaneous.
WON AT LAST.
-
“Darling!”
.....
.Ai™”
With evident effort, he stretches out
f,ne thin, emaciated hand, and clasps in
ll * s t,se white, delicate fingers, which
rest there so lovingly. The dark eves,
thorn’ll wearing the look which constant
suffering gives, fasten themselves upon
the girl’s fane with worshipful fondness
and a sigh breaks from the parted lips.
“Has iiecome yet,” he questions.
“No, papa. He may be here now at
any moment.” ~
“God grant it may not be too late!’’,
lie says, as though uttering a prayer,
and the girl’s calm gives away under
bis words.
her “Father, father 1” she cries falling on
knees and burying her face in her
hands, “do not say that! You will
“No, Indeed, you will —you must /”
my child ! My hours are
baled ; but if, before I die, I can see
you Cole Collins’wife I shall go almost
willingly.’*
“Oli, papa, not his wife!” pleaded
the girl. “Give me time to know him.
Our betrothal h vs always seemed so
strange, so unreal, that though 1 have
almost learned lo love him thrmigh his
letters, still, if I were Ixiuml to him it
vv " u| d turn into hate!”
“Husli. Eiaie— bush ! You have not
forgotten how sacred is this bond—that
to his fatla r I owe all I ata in the world.
and ills .hat should 1 promised, on his death-bed!
son woo and win you. Had
1 not s en liim ? Did I not know how
l' 1 ' 11 !l f VV;IS calculated to win any girl’s
- faiicy ? Possessed of a face and form
»«y lustrous «>»« might envy, with eyes whose
light is full of honest purpose
cultivated and brilliant hr conversation
’ My ,,f,rlin S D 1 " soon will love him as be
deserves, Ido Unit which I know is
01 ytuu ' Hiture happiness. 1 cannot
leave my'cliild alone upon the world !”
The siek man’s voice died away. He
had said more than his etrengtli could
hear, mid he sunk bakJk, almost fainting
ll| ’2 llllis l" , !' nvs -
l'»ut ut this ni'iiiipiit tlw door cugw ly
opened. A man stood upon the
tliresbuld.
Elsie glanced up. Who was Ibis
inti ii ler ? Tall and tjiin with I,aid
head, and eyes ' hidden froth sigut
blue gla ses, through which he peered
around the room.
Did ive bring bad news from Cole V
C(| !b. who had been prostrated hy a low
malarial fever, and so prevented from
hastening to the side of the man who
lut ’ 1 Sl? urgently summoned him.
Trembling, him. she arose and advanced lo
rni ‘ rt The stranger bowed, as lie
said in low musical tom s, which sounded
strangely from such a .source :
“Am 1 in time? I have travelled
niqht and day. But 1 forget; my illness
illis so alGreil me that your father
"''>nld hardly recognize me,” handing
her a card.
She read on it the name which seemed
brawled on her brain—“Cole Coffins.”
‘Touid it be” What nightmare pos
«' ss,hI her? This-this was the man
>«’r lather asked her to marry! She
could not; and she si laddered at the
thought.
But Cole already had approaclied the
'^-‘Bready the sick man’s eyes rested
upon Ins lace, as he bent tenderly over
,liln -
“Poor fellow ! how ill you must
been ! he sail!, “But, oh, thank lien veil
you are in time ! Call the clergyman ;
I am going’ fast!”
“T’atlier,” sobbed Elsie, “spare me
not , let . . me die happy?” be
questioned reproachfully,
Auq so i/jnjus won his bride. Like
piece Of cold, white marble, slic answered
H' 1 * solemn questions put to her with
“. ie c-’m'ncss that desperation sometimes
The man who was dying had never
ref us* <1 one wish of her young life. T«
|,iin-she owed it. Blit it was tire spirit
a martyr, uot a bride.
1 “Bless you and reward you he said
' with v ! leu ilU glad ' Vlis «’ v « 1 then closed iiis eyes
spirit, a sigh of content, and the
as if waiting but for tins for its
ti;*d away.
A week later, and Klsio sat alone iu
* H?r ow » room, but tier white face and
• hejivy eyes testified to something of all
she liad endured. ‘
Not once had the man so strangely
made her.husband—t!ie man whose name
or whose memory brou^:it a shudder—
intruded upon her privacy. Not since
^he had lietat carried fainting from her
dead father’s side lmd her eyes rested
upon Iiis fac. .
“Ob. God. that I might never see it
I” She s.i.l, al-iu-% the
wnti.g from iter iu thb intensity of her
loS 1 |Cc| ,> l l riri,,g i r* r 1,e ul 011 tl,e
^1oKt i ou wluch , slU!Silt ; sbe
’
“sit, then slid, so hateful to vnu U’We
questioned a musical voice If s„
“'Audte-^n T. 11 S L" ’ ,i,n su'ldeu " e , ,<?«’" teiioi,
sUensumUnrWore piuj, t c. uZ'"* * ,ai '
A tvil.1 fleeting fancy for a
possessed her, that could she shut out
miiv'to iu thi'v -? • lte h0rri " , d visUm tones ’ a,,d were full
11 -e - -• iii'.A' to G* ,ive day ""‘t>' by day, et 1,6 to eudurahle. spend her
,
"oms sleeping and waking, side by side
with this spectre of „j*l:„ess, she eoulu
not and s.de of herself her sobs burst
out t-uck ami tast.
“Elsie,” said her husband. “I knew
my sickness had altered me, but I did
not realize how great Hie change had
b;x-„. laced jour But believe hand .n me, mine, when he you.-father consigned
me a I snail never betray.
I s ■ 1 Moing away on
. i .
„?r* '™ l d, " uu ,ne until you summon
me Pack, we may never meet, again,
Itre*t3 with you, hut the chains shall
he made as light as in my power. Would
I might east them off from you
forever. You will write to me. will
you not? you wmi* a* writ* *.,«.»?
All 1 aak is that I mav hear from you—
tOS^SJUTi^
SStS hut when she SS£T-ai raised
her head, she was
alone, ami a thrill of pity run through
her for the man she lmd exiled—the ;
man qrfr*se generous nobility lmd called
that pity forth—the man whose fate
was, perhaps, fears harder than her own.
Two passed slowly by, spent by :
Elsie in the luxurious retirement of her
beautiful home. They seemed almost a
dream, made reality only by the letters
which cmne, from time to time,
her solitude—letters at first received
shndderingly, look but which she grew at
last to for, so well did the writer
seem to It understand the wants of her!
heart. was as though be touched a j
delicate instrument, and knew how to!
bring mtsic from each hidden chord. ’
II is letter ran thus:
Have you so conquered your repug
for nance tliat sake—that you would welcome will a friend \ !
my you receive him
for a short time as your guest? As!
yom aunt makes her home with you, it
"’ill be In accordance with the pro-;
prieties; and you will not refuse m- the'
happiness of learning something of your 1
daily If life from bis lips, on bis return. 1
the gratification of this wi.h should
cause you annoyance, consider it mi
made ; but 1 think you will find Mr.
Bayard aguest bv ' no means trouble
some.
When would this stranger arrive- :
this man Who knew so well the husband
who was to her an unknown? This 1
was her daily thought, until morning,
preparing for her drive, his card was
put into her hand, and she descended ’ 1
instantly him to tile drawing-room, to meet
and hid welcome. ,
She almost hoped she might find him
old, and ugly ami disagreable, that s i, e
might do more. A wish of Cole’s! it
seemed almost like some atonement lo
grant it. •
But, as "she stands upon the threshold,
She starts.- The man who lias risen.
ready to receive her, is the handsomest
^he }jhs tvfif sctu . IVs clitt'ks bf*cir thf*
perfect glow of health; his eyes,
and lustrous, are bent upon her, with a
light beneath which hers quail;
hair falb-Ji* shun clo.-tvnux ,^ uii.g-
7rgh white forehead and
constrainedVelcnrne.’her when she approaches, with a strange,
head scarce!)
comes to tne level of the broad shoulders.
But he bends over the little lumd
with reverence due a queen, and in
that moment she feels how easy a thing
it; will be. to give the stranger the
welcome ami the friendship her husband 1
had a*ked for him at her hands.
No longer the days drag, or the hours
seem realms long. She has wandered into the
of delight. .She has met a mind
s.oreil with inoxlmustihle wealth. S|„.
begrudge lias grown to watch Iiis coming, tn |
the moments spent awav from
his side, ere, with 1 glitning flash, she
realizes whither she has drifted with
the current.
Iiis visit h*s drawn lo a el se.
is to leave her. H is future rises barren
and desolate before her. Alas ! she
sighs p^ in vam for the old emptiness of the
t .
Why has fide done this thing ? IVhv
sent this man, with the
fascination ot’bis presence added to his
wondrous heauty, giyes* to poison her life ?
But she no outward sign ; only
^' e watches the lovely cheek grow pale,
f* 11 ' 1 Hie little hand tremble withia his
own as she falters her “goodby,’’ nor
nsha liiui to come nsain.
The siie ilit-s toiler bouloiv, and in
hPmK'ut. her pen is flying over her paper.
writes:
“ion said you would come when I
summoned you. I bid you come note/
1 W* 1 yon teach me a wife’s duty
husiiaiid ; to better fuldll m.v dear
father s dying \\ ish ; to forgive me those
coldness, and let me atone fur
them m tin- future ; t-> be better vvoithy
lt " ffenerons nolidity you iiave shown to
one lu so ‘ 1 ' underserying liu 1 ' dispatched . she knew
'
Her , duty done. At least iiei husband >
!' lol<, ctio , i "<>u.-.l ue bus. bue_ ueeilwl
herseit against tins new.
stnui^c, biisstul uiisery winch lmd
l 1 !^ 0 fro,u suffering fail she the must duty
n every eye, nor m
. l wite.
V( hvi ; ui iuu a
J)Ut ' vl,e Jh ; l weeks later she
*new her husband had answered
P*real a **i #e sub Wiis rose w^i^g’-.her ut her throat, approach, and the a
111 ^ ,ew l, hick, as she advanced to
■ l,im .
lhen the nnst \... cleared, , . and , she . saw .. it
was no lie, but Mr. Bayard, who stood
" c ,.t " l , e , H ,'!: 9,,e , ** v 81 S , I „ ,v, , e . lie
rt ’ ’,„ J ‘ e ,s
1 ‘‘ ve ’ ’ 16 a " swered ,
; Evlfthe'decei.timi/have i s!.™ A« ^LS i^.^i; P, icUcetl’i
since the ravages illness had made had
1 <««*PPeared. ami I had grown so hungry
! [r'hSlf sS!' 1 Wafa’antracy
^ Iniet^nes jj , ti vl stole‘'tnto t [ timu-lit a u’eam ^eyes V^ of love
I s juuir
1 ^’1' 0 st I r 1 T" V 1 fc C P ' ’ j T't ! ’ V ,l I" V ' J e ‘ A "",'7 u v ’ deiir
S wi,i7er^ llS 'i a ° . f
j liis m,» | '"
j ' ,jft,a r ' L ' '
! I ---
Ehe eehtor of a backwoods , paper .
!" ,,rlwl [° have discovered a New
Testament on ins desk, the othei day.
ilt V 1Jue Wl0tpan ‘’laljorate review of
" <lmi was ver v much d.aapp anted
.
H,ld "''f" t0,d "e , »*«“ foreman « "’as brought not a new las book. copy back
_______________
There are no fewer than 12,059 fami
lies in the State of New York who live
in log-cabins.
No. i. '
Wanted to Be an Editor,
"Have you had any experience at Hie
business ? we asked of a verdant look
. _. .... . , for pJ,tor !
an "*
l**'}™ the purer <hn.
1°
2|£ftSSa»A?! 3 !?u V*** * e replied.
u| J>ut ^en^e take young men on our
Ihrough v, " e ^ generally put them
nil examination. How much
ar ?,L" v \ v f t’sues one Y”
Iwei\e . tvuv any iittie 1»> oug it
,
Hold 77 on. please , don t be loo fast—
w hodiscuvereu Aimi ictt ,
''Kiumbus . Pshaw, them questions
as
“''ho was the . ljr3t _ ,
man
* " !? Mister, I knew all”—
‘•'' hat was Ins other nxme V”
* His other owner why he didn’t have
,! °ne. ’
"' l ’ 8 ' ie tlK ** xou see that’s where
we’ve got you. His other name was
Koetiezer- Lbeiiezwr Adam, Esq., late
of Faradise. Nobody knows this b'lt
editors, and see to it that you don’t tell
anybody. ’
He said he wouldn’t. ^
“How many bones are there in the
human body f”
“'Veil, I forget now, bat I did know
"
' '\hnt , don , t you know that ? Why
i
there s i .eL.adl,.‘144 bones in an ordinal y
man - A man that snores has one bone
more than other people.”
“What bone is that ?”
“The trombone. It is situated some
wI,t ' re in ll,e nose - You won’t forget
tlmt, will you V” ,
He said he wouldn't.
“H" vv !l,n S would it take a mud
turtle to cross the , desert of Sahara with
wiU >»stoail oi-phau boy to touch him
"P behind with a red hot poker?”
“Well, look here. Mister, if I had
slate “lid I>e«cll I could Agger that out.
but dog my skin if I’m ranch on mental
’ntiinietic. ’
"Slate and pencil ’ Did you ever see
a slate and pencil about a sanctum’?
"vll, we’ll let that question slip.
Have you got a good constitution?
“Putty, toleraiile.”
k Mow long do you suppose you could
Bve on raw com and faith, and do the
w.n’k of a domesticated elephant ?”
‘’Lord! 1 don’t believe I could live
ro °‘,’3 , '*** K ’.
”'Ve!i. Unit s abont , , long . you’d
as as
want to live if you got an editorial jiosi
Hon on this paper. You appear to be
pretty well posted; we shall ask one
more, and if you prove equal to it you
can take off jour coat and sail in ”
“Let’s have ’er ’squire. I didn’t
respond for the Pumkinville .S 0 t imer
six weeks for nothin.’ Let ’er cotue—
I’m on deck, I am.”
“Well, sir, if two diametrical, circles
with oetugouial peri-fiieries should collide
with a centrifugal idiosyncrasy, or to put
it plainer, we’ll say a disenfranchised
nenity, wiiateffect would tliecatastrophe
exert on a cryst.iliz d codfish suspended
by the tail from the homogeneous rafters
of tin: c-mpvrean ?”
As the full force of this ponderous
problem broke upon liisbewil.leredbraiu
be slowly dragged his inartisticaliy
1111(1 sine from under bis cliair, an!
-darted from the room. We heard him !
descend the stairs, go out, and elo.se the
door. We then placidly resumed our
regretting that so verdant a
youth should lutve been weighed in the
balance and found wanting.
------——---
“ What are you going to do about
it?”
Because the penalties of
htws are not executed speedily, some i
fauey they are void. But when the
system breaks down, and almost
less complications arise, which the!
family physician, by reason of D a
limited experience, fails to relieve, tb !
pertiueney of the above inquiry <s
apparent. Many remedies have iieen !
specially prepared for these cases, and •
man ,- physicians are bidding for their !
lv ., t i-,)uge. As before making a purchase
0 f land, a ‘•search” is requirc-1, and
the title carefully examined, so invalids
should carefully investigate the claims
„f any physician offering to treat chronic
diseases. Dr. Pierce’s Family Medicines
m-e well known, and have effected many
^vires where eminent physicians have
failed, yet to accommodate surgical and
complicated eases, and those desirous of
beintj restored speedily, I>r. Pierce has
erreeted an eH'ant sanitarium, at a cost
() f nearly half a niiiiion dollars. No
institution in the world offers ad
vantages superior to those found in this
est.iblisimient. Half a score of
sicians are in attendance, several of
w liom have been pmminentlv connected
w ith leading Am- vk-an ami
Hospitals. Ever, improved facility for
hastening a cure that a lilieral expen
diture of money could secure cau here
! K ‘ f0UIld ;, B • f, t re f <{«y
^ t d, ^. K d an ryu! -- s!s
n
___________ . _
Responsibility of Hotel Keepers.
Ti ‘“ C, -’ nrt “f "ensy,vania
, K- 1 -" mviued that au inn keeper is
koorts s.olen in bis
! servant declared or conip,-ini’onofthe guest’ The
court that it was the inn keep
duty to provide honest
and to exercise an exact vigilance over
persons coming into his house as
guests or otherwise.
-----------------—__
A backwoods preacher, speaking .7 on
{he sub j wt 0 f getting to heaven id •
in-^tiiren it is as im-.ossihle fo. -i
t0 t , 0 lieavel , in t«is sins as for
th(1 bf , st Norseman in tin’s congregation
t X,ndo jrt a , trcak G f Hsrhtiiiii *- tlmueii -
tree without g Uing ■
scratched.
, .
A joker challenged , a sick man’s vote
at a city election on t.tiq ground that he.!
'van an ill lege! voter.
The Democrat.
ADI UK1D1IC H A IL» :
One Squite, lir^t lim-Kioo s : rui
One Square, each sut»»eqo*‘iit m^citicD
On** Square, three tmmtb* 10
One iyjuare, LweWf months . 15
Quarter Column, twelve uiontlis . .'JO 7
Half C iluraa twel ve months 50 S
(>uc Column twelve uioutUa . 100 ;
t irf’ One Inch or Less ct nsidered as a
s»tu&rtt. We have nofra tions of a s.;-•*!•.
ail fractions of s-|>jar>-' will fc,* i t.acf. d t.
Mj-jares. Uiterai tb-drctioii- made ou C’vi -
tract Ad vert .sine.
History of a Dead Letter.
Some time in 1377 a auldici stationed
with the cavalry in Texas, died very
and wi:S burnt! wit !•
military honors l.y his comrades and
ZJ^rSSL^S& S £S
SB^JSSSKTiSS -----r4iieiiat.t of the company mid
forwarded, with u letter id svuipathy,
to the ljcreaved toother in England, In
due course of t me the letter was
returned to the United States dear,
letter office as undelivered, the mother
:l °t heii’g at her former address. It
vvss then opened, and after examination,
returned in its open condition with the
suggestion that the contents would
enable the English past officials to
discover the pel sou it was intended 1«
reach ; but in due com;e of time it
came back the second time as unde
liverable. The letter v* then turned
over to one of the lady clerks in the
dead-letter office, who. on reading the
contents, with a woman’s instinct
divined that the “O. lie” who wrote tbu
one letter, and the Miss L-, spoken
of in the mother’s letter, were identical.
What is technically termed a “letter ot
discovery” was addressed to the
suppositious iady at the address in
Scotland, pest-marked on her letter
This i-tler, on nailing that office, m
forwarded h to d London, width* r the
young office lady gone, and U.edend letter
her,- received a reply from her,
with thanks for the diligence displayed
in endeavoring to secure the delivery of
the letter, stating that it was the first
and' they had heard of the soldier’s death,
giving the present address ot the
mother of the soldier, to whom the
original package lias been forwarded,
making its fifth trip across the Atlantis
o.can.
The Times That Try Man's Soul
When be pops the question.
When his wife wants to talk and lit
doesn’t.
Wlieu lie writes to his best girl and
has to wait too weeks for a reply.
" ben hash is placed before him five
successive mornings at his boarding
"’{Iff’ '' , h- port's his licdu tiiroupj \ .. .usv
llks , t.clean shirt and finds no button on
behind.
» **•»*» he mi>» anew pair ot shoes and
d‘scovers tio big nails sticking up Ik
When he hurries around the corner
<*iid lands square in the anas of a man
"ho holds bis J. 0. U.
When lie takes ins girl out and dis
covers that he has left hisjpockot-book at
home in iiis old trousers.
" hen he comes home early in the
morning and his wife wants to hold s
little debating society in the lower hull.
When lie goes home at night, finds a
! ouse full of company, and iiis wife
blissfully ignorant of the fact tiiat din
uer is not ready,
" hen the dominie makes a call at bis
house, and tries to make him believe
that $do will purchase new red flannel
petticoats for ail the little colored girls
in Africa.
"'hen in his dreams he is standing
u;ion the ven* of a precipice, and ids
wife suddenly remimls biro that lie isn’t,
hut that he is jerking her “banged” hair
all to pieces.
When he dives down into the bottom
of his trunk, jerks out what he supposes
k a clean pair of socks, hut find*only »n
old table-napkin, with four white neck-,
ties, put away for next Summer. -.Veto
E.rcrc
Why is it that people are always so
"tired out’’ by a twenty minute sermon.
and so “refreshed” by a two-hour society
drama, a little bad?
That a steamboat always has an uti*
conquerable horror of its own time
card?
That every man who owns a horse
thinks he lias a “stepper.” and (irmly
believes the animal would go like the
wind if he were “let out V”
That nobody ever thinks of sitting in
a summer house ?
That hunting parties from tho city
always kill so many more prairie chiek
ens That than they bring 111 ?
so many more watch-chains are
worn than watches.?
That in no mutter what direction «
man starts a pin. the point always
ultimate* in the end of his fore-finger V
Timt he always swears when the ter
minus above referred to is reached ?
That no man flunks any other mas
kn«w« how to hitild a fire?
That every living man who smoke*
affe-ts to be a connoisseur cf cigars?—
Burlington Iluickeyc.
The sanctum of tin* l-’orsvtb I I,-,
,- so . ;,.. s )x ,,. n Sl)r * iu
tiiimn"' ,‘ Says stonumc^ that m'uer--“("lr offi--,'*
is tl vori'ie n'-ice of tr-imns ali
During the last month we iuiveteen
species--piiuter tianns, lawyer tramps,
!"n’t Umytt 'hil» hdMimi^h^rioiiS U^dvG"’*!," b^
cause hu/uet thev want to help tlietneshe-, and
last, least, regular -Mined old
’ 1 ‘ ku ' !> '’
A darkey was boasting to a grocer of
the cheapness of ten pounds of sugar he
had purchased at. a rival shop. “Let
me weigh the package.’’ said the grocer.
l'"e darkey asssented. and it was
f ,|,ntl two\ m-unds short. The
colored gentleman licked perplexed
tl "‘ ;l moment, and tiien said :
“® u ‘‘ ss lie l!i,li, ‘ t cheat this child much,
" lll!t ‘ 1,0 was ff'Hiu’ de sugiu- 1 siolo
two pair ob shoes.”
If you were to offer teu thousand
dollars for a sewing machine that didn't
take the first premium at ti>- Duns
exposition, we don’t suppose v.m r.-.m’d
j. > cue.
