The democrat. (Crawfordville, Ga.) 1877-1881, January 03, 1879, Image 1
The Democrat A Live Weakly Paper on Live Issues Published Every Friday Morning, at Crawfordville, tea. W-D-SULIftVAiTi Proprietor HATES OF SUBSVBTPTTOX: Single Copy, tone year.) . . . S 2 Of: Single Single Copy, Copy, (si* months,) . i no (three months,) . .. 50 l-t/' Advertising rates iiheral. ROOK end JOB PRINTING a specialty. Prices to suit the times. New Advertisements. ^Jfc_ i \, V a* A ip? ^7 Ml ifrs dce-6-187f-j-y SSESSs^ apr 12,'TS-jy Ui tfl ? i 3 “ 1” ni,, ‘ 'Idryhln- h.flt.nr-4, «pri2.’78-i-v _ fRESCaiPTIOtf jorth** ,*ur**of SemhmlAYf*ttkm*ss, FP.SE! l.r.st ManliO'xl ami nil d ^ordf-rs htou-»i.u>n hy Indis* cwtionorrx '-4w. Any him U"‘insTe* ff'n.itrt. S>r. \v. .1 i S A <11,. Au. 12Q "*»* kil* Mtvel, Viuclunut , «. ai’rl2,*7K-j-y { m kj £■ r« I > E* I ! r AM Ml *- SB, tSSa TOBACCO »prl2,’7S-i-v OETi $100,t:<50.1-500,$1000 Broker*. VWW|-Aiik, Nn. f.'*W Pu»®a Fwrr^iih^.tr k ro., V y,^ m 4 ^ e 4<Bifr8hle fn*,i^ut. ly p»ty *vo vm* t* :mt )u ytvtrd. *irp<i on HU),^ hoi«* r* ^iro#» Statif! onfin«j« 3oi * xs do flrcttlareand p** ? ’ iumt. K >p.ituau»ry weekly jornieuifree »prl2,’78-j-y D 2 & m RICE 9 SCnrlPlffi, LOUISVILLE, KY., A re jalmnw «r^ ] •«*»- q»«Rfl t 4 j^'vsir^an and lha •M»ta»'M« r «L m h*« )r*< id • will prc»«. Cures • lorau of F-rWaw, I «*«««, Tn , *toT» X’tt«a • n * I »•* tlie rest.ii ot akoMiM yw .•*, se*“*>i Uiewt'iri or - tber e»t »r-4a .1 m %%»»■ • ■ Kltv ii.* efU'l*: Nfi Nr veu» ' '**• 5 -•'■*' »» I> femiee Mem . n'fti tV« Avsrtj.’.i* Swretvef «r/, • f'm-.m, ■%. • *.m, V> r«uaiw »!.•>. Uv effexM Fe*w, «*., “ ■ f» u*v>5W -• tr -a «• •- » : » , • i ' •■ OKrH7£ •m'e Tu»<^-«u «. -’H—re. r»>iar*» tre*<” pi!., 1 I- By i n>*iU>resi» Othrr pri .» • 4» re»son»W^ Co* j • - « t—' ewl lavi».*d, ciurg*s 4tto-lcwt»e«p»u.'a. vt eui-eiff >wMiM«(.ri«L A PIUVATF. COUNSELOR C'SOO »*»t •- aetr »^4re«<, securely scaled. f«*r tlilrty (80) com*, •ee-'.wt'l he r- 4 bv ail. Addrrts m alove. Ueuta f»*« (* A. M. to 7 P. M. BuxtAit)’*, l to ± P. i*. Bprl‘J f ’78-j-y Pd , *41?110Is - T .. mSSTTQ- „ lyllj w ®*- a N. Eighth I B St. ‘■Okis, l« 0 , ffif vr2 , "!v fh ’' , : ’“r-••» 1 f* ; mommhi.wr.ii . •IVi'JwiJi.uii’S «ured*'' 1 '" 1 The PHYSIOLOGY OF RIARRiAf «■ Tho PRIVATE CiiDICAi ADViGt -3 SukiftaHsmiwc-xoM Ii?’ E?“l •** V’ 1 * ^ w »»'»»«* ?2S«V ( ,Sifc%.‘S &^YJ^ l.SU'ir w2^to w ^|3£iSS£l!!j> |5sI5i£i§ ,rira 4 5 , r “■ “ Wi r >.«?«** ££“««*»»•• A* t under V'-.i,on » p « »»*<*«»«». Hawn upm.’TR-j-y BURNHAM’S mjM»T£»iiiiiE5c:;;r£:‘. mLiImfis. IVoihs : Chi., .a.,a, Lani-asier to., I'a. VIU’k : 23 is. Beaver St., York, Pa. t!Ov.l,187fi: j-y. ------’“ivvcA jUs$ JOfev IVY*3 7 IVj!l Pf D&v f-'fe-'VG'T'A'S '•'*£■& *%£ii k <2“ - 4 \|ll i ii • mb mk i MiifMfc - L'V .■! * w '.'.-S OinnO.o yumu.p T?u*linrvlo lilcnaids, Agent, Iffmi Craw 5* rtlvillp, Ga. *pn8.l87S-t-v Augusta Corner Broad k. Washington Sts., Augusta, - - - Georgia. Has been thoroughly F#m, rated, Bemodel ed, and Newly Furnished. It is located in the centre of business. Telegraph Office in the Hotel Build lug. Express Office in the same block. Post-OOiee only one block off. Ail oilier public conveniences close at hand. W The Office of the Hotel will he open be during the night, and guests will reci ived or called at any hour. W. M. MOORE, Prcp’r. RATES OF BO A ED, S2, per day. marl Tne 1 )emocrat. Yol. 3. A. G. DICKINSON, _Dealer in— T Drv \ Goods n i and in Groceries’, • * Wines,Liquors,&c. _ T . . CranfortMllc, - Georgia, have removed one door below my old stand where I will he nleased to have them call and examine rnv select STOCK OF DRY GOODS, which I am selling fir the very lowest figures that car be afforded. NEW SALOON. " r In connection witli my store, I have opened a new SALOON, and keep on hand the best ^\\ ^ jTC| A1.C31 S?, Tobacco, Cigars, &c. to lie found in town. The public are in vited to come and trv for themselves. A. G. DICKINSON. novl-j-m M. Markwalter, iVatclimakor and Jeweler 7 GREESiisBoRO. gGobgIA, t r * avo ir ha,I iuv mum- vMr. people’ I offer mil! services to tlie p'rae- of Tsliaien-o adjoining eountie* as a ticii WATCHMAKER ami dEWELEii, feeling non, and confident do of «il shility the work to give entrusted satistuc to to me m i ie very ue»tstyle. Bly Prices arc Low work promptly executed and guaranteed 1 also have no |i,-uid a splendid stock 0 f WATCHES, is respectfully JEWELRY, solicited. &c. Your Address, milage semi or your work to nov-K) ’?* isint ^ |! a L_ BARGAINS I RtRGAIVs ‘ 11 ’ JjwU I l U il’ 1\ i 1)1'' 4 I k i I i ; / ; WONDEB* “TT-TT AE'D - GKBAT REDUCTION! — IX THE — Frier, of Liquors • l ALL KINDS AND BRANDS! 1,200 Gallons [ ; 4()() , —AT— 1). A. WILLIAMS & SOVS Old Nelson County liourhon Whisky, liere XXXX - ,heretofore -Monougahelsitye sold at ss.nn Whiskey 1 ,-iiuced reduc'd to Ss.ou out rXm..t p v » fv, ■« -Son J" **•»! f ” XX live Whiskv trem 5!no XX Georgia Corn, from to i.‘M Mountain Gap Georgia (.him, 4.no to a.«o Bogun 1 Hiaiuty, Brandy, imw 4.no to Tearh r. vrs old from 4.on 10 ti.oo {I!' 1 Apple-Jack. Hum to cuem- liSnl ltuui.' v tram S no to o w Janmira from 350 to »so Holland Gin. from 4.00 to «;r, Galiuvtna G’ntawba Wine, a.-.o to 2.5» D*rt Wine, from • 3 .so to 2.30 ' q'tUen-iVv'inV {iiJo ‘t'l-nin -V'?n J° ive lmve a finoline of CAVVEU «OODb, " such as TINE APPLES ’ PEACHES, TOMATOES, ° s7vm'vir« 6 IOitsTFB SALMON, Jtc. Peas and Sicailis 5 T?rt1m»*na rid, *JAU.fii)tt,gC, fee. P « We have a ftill line of CASE LIQUORS embracing every of brand named above, with a splendid lot TOBACCO AND CIGARS. ConfectionPl ies N nnarninilts UMtOinUtS, Ivai&ins, Raisins OiangPS. Apples, &C. Thanking our c«-tomers for m«t in*,-on -IB'*, and soliciting a continuance of the same. We are respeetfnllv, D. A. WILLIAMS A SON. nov-22- , 78»t-<>-o Cr.wvfiivGvilU*, Ga. “ ~ ^aBOSS , mrrm PAIENT STTptt^ • /jr' S \\ ^ It \1 It gmm J/ /J Vf SS bLa ( WBmsm m : -, , - ■* yj COLD WATCH CASES 0 P/?S ont 0,l! ^ a B old surface. While costing but toll the money, they are as shwv and elctrant a. SOW. CERTIFICATE and are WARRANTED BY TO WEAR TWEN If you have not fern these watches, ask yenr jeweler for them. It ho docs not keep themftc;! toSed OatX”e- aiS0 ’. anJ *“ *“ 4 ^ “ illUS - HAGSTOZ& THORPE, Sixth and Chestnut Sts., PmitDjifnu, Pa. **-SoId only through Regular Dealers.-** Crawfordvulle, Georgia, January 3, 1879. Miscellaneous. WON AT LAST. - “Darling!” ..... .Ai™” With evident effort, he stretches out f,ne thin, emaciated hand, and clasps in ll * s t,se white, delicate fingers, which rest there so lovingly. The dark eves, thorn’ll wearing the look which constant suffering gives, fasten themselves upon the girl’s fane with worshipful fondness and a sigh breaks from the parted lips. “Has iiecome yet,” he questions. “No, papa. He may be here now at any moment.” ~ “God grant it may not be too late!’’, lie says, as though uttering a prayer, and the girl’s calm gives away under bis words. her “Father, father 1” she cries falling on knees and burying her face in her hands, “do not say that! You will “No, Indeed, you will —you must /” my child ! My hours are baled ; but if, before I die, I can see you Cole Collins’wife I shall go almost willingly.’* “Oli, papa, not his wife!” pleaded the girl. “Give me time to know him. Our betrothal h vs always seemed so strange, so unreal, that though 1 have almost learned lo love him thrmigh his letters, still, if I were Ixiuml to him it vv " u| d turn into hate!” “Husli. Eiaie— bush ! You have not forgotten how sacred is this bond—that to his fatla r I owe all I ata in the world. and ills .hat should 1 promised, on his death-bed! son woo and win you. Had 1 not s en liim ? Did I not know how l' 1 ' 11 !l f VV;IS calculated to win any girl’s - faiicy ? Possessed of a face and form »«y lustrous «>»« might envy, with eyes whose light is full of honest purpose cultivated and brilliant hr conversation ’ My ,,f,rlin S D 1 " soon will love him as be deserves, Ido Unit which I know is 01 ytuu ' Hiture happiness. 1 cannot leave my'cliild alone upon the world !” The siek man’s voice died away. He had said more than his etrengtli could hear, mid he sunk bakJk, almost fainting ll| ’2 llllis l" , !' nvs - l'»ut ut this ni'iiiipiit tlw door cugw ly opened. A man stood upon the tliresbuld. Elsie glanced up. Who was Ibis inti ii ler ? Tall and tjiin with I,aid head, and eyes ' hidden froth sigut blue gla ses, through which he peered around the room. Did ive bring bad news from Cole V C(| !b. who had been prostrated hy a low malarial fever, and so prevented from hastening to the side of the man who lut ’ 1 Sl? urgently summoned him. Trembling, him. she arose and advanced lo rni ‘ rt The stranger bowed, as lie said in low musical tom s, which sounded strangely from such a .source : “Am 1 in time? I have travelled niqht and day. But 1 forget; my illness illis so alGreil me that your father "''>nld hardly recognize me,” handing her a card. She read on it the name which seemed brawled on her brain—“Cole Coffins.” ‘Touid it be” What nightmare pos «' ss,hI her? This-this was the man >«’r lather asked her to marry! She could not; and she si laddered at the thought. But Cole already had approaclied the '^-‘Bready the sick man’s eyes rested upon Ins lace, as he bent tenderly over ,liln - “Poor fellow ! how ill you must been ! he sail!, “But, oh, thank lien veil you are in time ! Call the clergyman ; I am going’ fast!” “T’atlier,” sobbed Elsie, “spare me not , let . . me die happy?” be questioned reproachfully, Auq so i/jnjus won his bride. Like piece Of cold, white marble, slic answered H' 1 * solemn questions put to her with “. ie c-’m'ncss that desperation sometimes The man who was dying had never ref us* <1 one wish of her young life. T« |,iin-she owed it. Blit it was tire spirit a martyr, uot a bride. 1 “Bless you and reward you he said ' with v ! leu ilU glad ' Vlis «’ v « 1 then closed iiis eyes spirit, a sigh of content, and the as if waiting but for tins for its ti;*d away. A week later, and Klsio sat alone iu * H?r ow » room, but tier white face and • hejivy eyes testified to something of all she liad endured. ‘ Not once had the man so strangely made her.husband—t!ie man whose name or whose memory brou^:it a shudder— intruded upon her privacy. Not since ^he had lietat carried fainting from her dead father’s side lmd her eyes rested upon Iiis fac. . “Ob. God. that I might never see it I” She s.i.l, al-iu-% the wnti.g from iter iu thb intensity of her loS 1 |Cc| ,> l l riri,,g i r* r 1,e ul 011 tl,e ^1oKt i ou wluch , slU!Silt ; sbe ’ “sit, then slid, so hateful to vnu U’We questioned a musical voice If s„ “'Audte-^n T. 11 S L" ’ ,i,n su'ldeu " e , ,<?«’" teiioi, sUensumUnrWore piuj, t c. uZ'"* * ,ai ' A tvil.1 fleeting fancy for a possessed her, that could she shut out miiv'to iu thi'v -? • lte h0rri " , d visUm tones ’ a,,d were full 11 -e - -• iii'.A' to G* ,ive day ""‘t>' by day, et 1,6 to eudurahle. spend her , "oms sleeping and waking, side by side with this spectre of „j*l:„ess, she eoulu not and s.de of herself her sobs burst out t-uck ami tast. “Elsie,” said her husband. “I knew my sickness had altered me, but I did not realize how great Hie change had b;x-„. laced jour But believe hand .n me, mine, when he you.-father consigned me a I snail never betray. I s ■ 1 Moing away on . i . „?r* '™ l d, " uu ,ne until you summon me Pack, we may never meet, again, Itre*t3 with you, hut the chains shall he made as light as in my power. Would I might east them off from you forever. You will write to me. will you not? you wmi* a* writ* *.,«.»? All 1 aak is that I mav hear from you— tOS^SJUTi^ SStS hut when she SS£T-ai raised her head, she was alone, ami a thrill of pity run through her for the man she lmd exiled—the ; man qrfr*se generous nobility lmd called that pity forth—the man whose fate was, perhaps, fears harder than her own. Two passed slowly by, spent by : Elsie in the luxurious retirement of her beautiful home. They seemed almost a dream, made reality only by the letters which cmne, from time to time, her solitude—letters at first received shndderingly, look but which she grew at last to for, so well did the writer seem to It understand the wants of her! heart. was as though be touched a j delicate instrument, and knew how to! bring mtsic from each hidden chord. ’ II is letter ran thus: Have you so conquered your repug for nance tliat sake—that you would welcome will a friend \ ! my you receive him for a short time as your guest? As! yom aunt makes her home with you, it "’ill be In accordance with the pro-; prieties; and you will not refuse m- the' happiness of learning something of your 1 daily If life from bis lips, on bis return. 1 the gratification of this wi.h should cause you annoyance, consider it mi made ; but 1 think you will find Mr. Bayard aguest bv ' no means trouble some. When would this stranger arrive- : this man Who knew so well the husband who was to her an unknown? This 1 was her daily thought, until morning, preparing for her drive, his card was put into her hand, and she descended ’ 1 instantly him to tile drawing-room, to meet and hid welcome. , She almost hoped she might find him old, and ugly ami disagreable, that s i, e might do more. A wish of Cole’s! it seemed almost like some atonement lo grant it. • But, as "she stands upon the threshold, She starts.- The man who lias risen. ready to receive her, is the handsomest ^he }jhs tvfif sctu . IVs clitt'ks bf*cir thf* perfect glow of health; his eyes, and lustrous, are bent upon her, with a light beneath which hers quail; hair falb-Ji* shun clo.-tvnux ,^ uii.g- 7rgh white forehead and constrainedVelcnrne.’her when she approaches, with a strange, head scarce!) comes to tne level of the broad shoulders. But he bends over the little lumd with reverence due a queen, and in that moment she feels how easy a thing it; will be. to give the stranger the welcome ami the friendship her husband 1 had a*ked for him at her hands. No longer the days drag, or the hours seem realms long. She has wandered into the of delight. .She has met a mind s.oreil with inoxlmustihle wealth. S|„. begrudge lias grown to watch Iiis coming, tn | the moments spent awav from his side, ere, with 1 glitning flash, she realizes whither she has drifted with the current. Iiis visit h*s drawn lo a el se. is to leave her. H is future rises barren and desolate before her. Alas ! she sighs p^ in vam for the old emptiness of the t . Why has fide done this thing ? IVhv sent this man, with the fascination ot’bis presence added to his wondrous heauty, giyes* to poison her life ? But she no outward sign ; only ^' e watches the lovely cheek grow pale, f* 11 ' 1 Hie little hand tremble withia his own as she falters her “goodby,’’ nor nsha liiui to come nsain. The siie ilit-s toiler bouloiv, and in hPmK'ut. her pen is flying over her paper. writes: “ion said you would come when I summoned you. I bid you come note/ 1 W* 1 yon teach me a wife’s duty husiiaiid ; to better fuldll m.v dear father s dying \\ ish ; to forgive me those coldness, and let me atone fur them m tin- future ; t-> be better vvoithy lt " ffenerons nolidity you iiave shown to one lu so ‘ 1 ' underserying liu 1 ' dispatched . she knew ' Her , duty done. At least iiei husband > !' lol<, ctio , i "<>u.-.l ue bus. bue_ ueeilwl herseit against tins new. stnui^c, biisstul uiisery winch lmd l 1 !^ 0 fro,u suffering fail she the must duty n every eye, nor m . l wite. V( hvi ; ui iuu a J)Ut ' vl,e Jh ; l weeks later she *new her husband had answered P*real a **i #e sub Wiis rose w^i^g’-.her ut her throat, approach, and the a 111 ^ ,ew l, hick, as she advanced to ■ l,im . lhen the nnst \... cleared, , . and , she . saw .. it was no lie, but Mr. Bayard, who stood " c ,.t " l , e , H ,'!: 9,,e , ** v 81 S , I „ ,v, , e . lie rt ’ ’,„ J ‘ e ,s 1 ‘‘ ve ’ ’ 16 a " swered , ; Evlfthe'decei.timi/have i s!.™ A« ^LS i^.^i; P, icUcetl’i since the ravages illness had made had 1 <««*PPeared. ami I had grown so hungry ! [r'hSlf sS!' 1 Wafa’antracy ^ Iniet^nes jj , ti vl stole‘'tnto t [ timu-lit a u’eam ^eyes V^ of love I s juuir 1 ^’1' 0 st I r 1 T" V 1 fc C P ' ’ j T't ! ’ V ,l I" V ' J e ‘ A "",'7 u v ’ deiir S wi,i7er^ llS 'i a ° . f j liis m,» | '" j ' ,jft,a r ' L ' ' ! I --- Ehe eehtor of a backwoods , paper . !" ,,rlwl [° have discovered a New Testament on ins desk, the othei day. ilt V 1Jue Wl0tpan ‘’laljorate review of " <lmi was ver v much d.aapp anted . H,ld "''f" t0,d "e , »*«“ foreman « "’as brought not a new las book. copy back _______________ There are no fewer than 12,059 fami lies in the State of New York who live in log-cabins. No. i. ' Wanted to Be an Editor, "Have you had any experience at Hie business ? we asked of a verdant look . _. .... . , for pJ,tor ! an "* l**'}™ the purer <hn. 1° 2|£ftSSa»A?! 3 !?u V*** * e replied. u| J>ut ^en^e take young men on our Ihrough v, " e ^ generally put them nil examination. How much ar ?,L" v \ v f t’sues one Y” Iwei\e . tvuv any iittie 1»> oug it , Hold 77 on. please , don t be loo fast— w hodiscuvereu Aimi ictt , ''Kiumbus . Pshaw, them questions as “''ho was the . ljr3t _ , man * " !? Mister, I knew all”— ‘•'' hat was Ins other nxme V” * His other owner why he didn’t have ,! °ne. ’ "' l ’ 8 ' ie tlK ** xou see that’s where we’ve got you. His other name was Koetiezer- Lbeiiezwr Adam, Esq., late of Faradise. Nobody knows this b'lt editors, and see to it that you don’t tell anybody. ’ He said he wouldn’t. ^ “How many bones are there in the human body f” “'Veil, I forget now, bat I did know " ' '\hnt , don , t you know that ? Why i there s i .eL.adl,.‘144 bones in an ordinal y man - A man that snores has one bone more than other people.” “What bone is that ?” “The trombone. It is situated some wI,t ' re in ll,e nose - You won’t forget tlmt, will you V” , He said he wouldn't. “H" vv !l,n S would it take a mud turtle to cross the , desert of Sahara with wiU >»stoail oi-phau boy to touch him "P behind with a red hot poker?” “Well, look here. Mister, if I had slate “lid I>e«cll I could Agger that out. but dog my skin if I’m ranch on mental ’ntiinietic. ’ "Slate and pencil ’ Did you ever see a slate and pencil about a sanctum’? "vll, we’ll let that question slip. Have you got a good constitution? “Putty, toleraiile.” k Mow long do you suppose you could Bve on raw com and faith, and do the w.n’k of a domesticated elephant ?” ‘’Lord! 1 don’t believe I could live ro °‘,’3 , '*** K ’. ”'Ve!i. Unit s abont , , long . you’d as as want to live if you got an editorial jiosi Hon on this paper. You appear to be pretty well posted; we shall ask one more, and if you prove equal to it you can take off jour coat and sail in ” “Let’s have ’er ’squire. I didn’t respond for the Pumkinville .S 0 t imer six weeks for nothin.’ Let ’er cotue— I’m on deck, I am.” “Well, sir, if two diametrical, circles with oetugouial peri-fiieries should collide with a centrifugal idiosyncrasy, or to put it plainer, we’ll say a disenfranchised nenity, wiiateffect would tliecatastrophe exert on a cryst.iliz d codfish suspended by the tail from the homogeneous rafters of tin: c-mpvrean ?” As the full force of this ponderous problem broke upon liisbewil.leredbraiu be slowly dragged his inartisticaliy 1111(1 sine from under bis cliair, an! -darted from the room. We heard him ! descend the stairs, go out, and elo.se the door. We then placidly resumed our regretting that so verdant a youth should lutve been weighed in the balance and found wanting. ------——--- “ What are you going to do about it?” Because the penalties of htws are not executed speedily, some i fauey they are void. But when the system breaks down, and almost less complications arise, which the! family physician, by reason of D a limited experience, fails to relieve, tb ! pertiueney of the above inquiry <s apparent. Many remedies have iieen ! specially prepared for these cases, and • man ,- physicians are bidding for their ! lv ., t i-,)uge. As before making a purchase 0 f land, a ‘•search” is requirc-1, and the title carefully examined, so invalids should carefully investigate the claims „f any physician offering to treat chronic diseases. Dr. Pierce’s Family Medicines m-e well known, and have effected many ^vires where eminent physicians have failed, yet to accommodate surgical and complicated eases, and those desirous of beintj restored speedily, I>r. Pierce has erreeted an eH'ant sanitarium, at a cost () f nearly half a niiiiion dollars. No institution in the world offers ad vantages superior to those found in this est.iblisimient. Half a score of sicians are in attendance, several of w liom have been pmminentlv connected w ith leading Am- vk-an ami Hospitals. Ever, improved facility for hastening a cure that a lilieral expen diture of money could secure cau here ! K ‘ f0UIld ;, B • f, t re f <{«y ^ t d, ^. K d an ryu! -- s!s n ___________ . _ Responsibility of Hotel Keepers. Ti ‘“ C, -’ nrt “f "ensy,vania , K- 1 -" mviued that au inn keeper is koorts s.olen in bis ! servant declared or conip,-ini’onofthe guest’ The court that it was the inn keep duty to provide honest and to exercise an exact vigilance over persons coming into his house as guests or otherwise. -----------------—__ A backwoods preacher, speaking .7 on {he sub j wt 0 f getting to heaven id • in-^tiiren it is as im-.ossihle fo. -i t0 t , 0 lieavel , in t«is sins as for th(1 bf , st Norseman in tin’s congregation t X,ndo jrt a , trcak G f Hsrhtiiiii *- tlmueii - tree without g Uing ■ scratched. , . A joker challenged , a sick man’s vote at a city election on t.tiq ground that he.! 'van an ill lege! voter. The Democrat. ADI UK1D1IC H A IL» : One Squite, lir^t lim-Kioo s : rui One Square, each sut»»eqo*‘iit m^citicD On** Square, three tmmtb* 10 One iyjuare, LweWf months . 15 Quarter Column, twelve uiontlis . .'JO 7 Half C iluraa twel ve months 50 S (>uc Column twelve uioutUa . 100 ; t irf’ One Inch or Less ct nsidered as a s»tu&rtt. We have nofra tions of a s.;-•*!•. ail fractions of s-|>jar>-' will fc,* i t.acf. d t. Mj-jares. Uiterai tb-drctioii- made ou C’vi - tract Ad vert .sine. History of a Dead Letter. Some time in 1377 a auldici stationed with the cavalry in Texas, died very and wi:S burnt! wit !• military honors l.y his comrades and ZJ^rSSL^S& S £S SB^JSSSKTiSS -----r4iieiiat.t of the company mid forwarded, with u letter id svuipathy, to the ljcreaved toother in England, In due course of t me the letter was returned to the United States dear, letter office as undelivered, the mother :l °t heii’g at her former address. It vvss then opened, and after examination, returned in its open condition with the suggestion that the contents would enable the English past officials to discover the pel sou it was intended 1« reach ; but in due com;e of time it came back the second time as unde liverable. The letter v* then turned over to one of the lady clerks in the dead-letter office, who. on reading the contents, with a woman’s instinct divined that the “O. lie” who wrote tbu one letter, and the Miss L-, spoken of in the mother’s letter, were identical. What is technically termed a “letter ot discovery” was addressed to the suppositious iady at the address in Scotland, pest-marked on her letter This i-tler, on nailing that office, m forwarded h to d London, width* r the young office lady gone, and U.edend letter her,- received a reply from her, with thanks for the diligence displayed in endeavoring to secure the delivery of the letter, stating that it was the first and' they had heard of the soldier’s death, giving the present address ot the mother of the soldier, to whom the original package lias been forwarded, making its fifth trip across the Atlantis o.can. The Times That Try Man's Soul When be pops the question. When his wife wants to talk and lit doesn’t. Wlieu lie writes to his best girl and has to wait too weeks for a reply. " ben hash is placed before him five successive mornings at his boarding "’{Iff’ '' , h- port's his licdu tiiroupj \ .. .usv llks , t.clean shirt and finds no button on behind. » **•»*» he mi>» anew pair ot shoes and d‘scovers tio big nails sticking up Ik When he hurries around the corner <*iid lands square in the anas of a man "ho holds bis J. 0. U. When lie takes ins girl out and dis covers that he has left hisjpockot-book at home in iiis old trousers. " hen he comes home early in the morning and his wife wants to hold s little debating society in the lower hull. When lie goes home at night, finds a ! ouse full of company, and iiis wife blissfully ignorant of the fact tiiat din uer is not ready, " hen the dominie makes a call at bis house, and tries to make him believe that $do will purchase new red flannel petticoats for ail the little colored girls in Africa. "'hen in his dreams he is standing u;ion the ven* of a precipice, and ids wife suddenly remimls biro that lie isn’t, hut that he is jerking her “banged” hair all to pieces. When he dives down into the bottom of his trunk, jerks out what he supposes k a clean pair of socks, hut find*only »n old table-napkin, with four white neck-, ties, put away for next Summer. -.Veto E.rcrc Why is it that people are always so "tired out’’ by a twenty minute sermon. and so “refreshed” by a two-hour society drama, a little bad? That a steamboat always has an uti* conquerable horror of its own time card? That every man who owns a horse thinks he lias a “stepper.” and (irmly believes the animal would go like the wind if he were “let out V” That nobody ever thinks of sitting in a summer house ? That hunting parties from tho city always kill so many more prairie chiek ens That than they bring 111 ? so many more watch-chains are worn than watches.? That in no mutter what direction « man starts a pin. the point always ultimate* in the end of his fore-finger V Timt he always swears when the ter minus above referred to is reached ? That no man flunks any other mas kn«w« how to hitild a fire? That every living man who smoke* affe-ts to be a connoisseur cf cigars?— Burlington Iluickeyc. The sanctum of tin* l-’orsvtb I I,-, ,- so . ;,.. s )x ,,. n Sl)r * iu tiiimn"' ,‘ Says stonumc^ that m'uer--“("lr offi--,'* is tl vori'ie n'-ice of tr-imns ali During the last month we iuiveteen species--piiuter tianns, lawyer tramps, !"n’t Umytt 'hil» hdMimi^h^rioiiS U^dvG"’*!," b^ cause hu/uet thev want to help tlietneshe-, and last, least, regular -Mined old ’ 1 ‘ ku ' !> '’ A darkey was boasting to a grocer of the cheapness of ten pounds of sugar he had purchased at. a rival shop. “Let me weigh the package.’’ said the grocer. l'"e darkey asssented. and it was f ,|,ntl two\ m-unds short. The colored gentleman licked perplexed tl "‘ ;l moment, and tiien said : “® u ‘‘ ss lie l!i,li, ‘ t cheat this child much, " lll!t ‘ 1,0 was ff'Hiu’ de sugiu- 1 siolo two pair ob shoes.” If you were to offer teu thousand dollars for a sewing machine that didn't take the first premium at ti>- Duns exposition, we don’t suppose v.m r.-.m’d j. > cue.