Newspaper Page Text
Tlie Democrat.
A. Live Weakly Paper on Live Issue
Published Ever} Wednesday Morning,
at Crawfordville, Ga.
M. Z. Andrews, Proprietor.
RATES OF SUJiSVIiirTIoy:
Single Copy, (one year,) . . . S 2 00
Single Single Copy, (six months,) . 1 00
Copy, (three months,) . 50
iS“ Advertising rates liberal. BOOK
and JOB PRINTING a specialty. Prices
to suit the times.
Hotel Cards. i
4 RNOLD S GLOBE HOTEL,
CO It NS It EIGHTH AND BROAD STREETS,
AUGUSTA, GA.
This is one of the leading first-class Ilo
contrasted bystreet itiulks, Bafl way'wltoau'idaci- •
of interest; Telegraph ^'Telephone and Post
ai?* Ce 't. <J 'T l,, l is*supplied IIU C' Cati011 with
The Table with the best that
our home and the Northern markets afford. 1
Kates, 32,00 and 32.50, according to loca
tion of room.
FRANK ARNOLD, rronrictor.
j^UUUSTA hotel,
AUGUSTA, GEORGIA.
Centrally located. Telegraph office in the
ncrH^v' *' arKe ’ Ail T 1{oouls - Kates 32.00
EDWARD MURPIIT, Proprietor.
TYRUX-E'S J3 HOTeI;
opposite public sqc are.
ABBEVILLE, S. C.
This house has just been thoroughly re
fitted and newly furnished, and is conven
lent to the Depot. Good sample rooms for
Commercial Travelers.
€>. E. BRUCE, Projector.
0LXNARD HOUSE,
CLAYTOH STREET, NEAR I'OST-OFFtCE,
ATHENS, GEORGIA.
Rooms all carpeted. Good sample rooms j
for Commercial Travelers.
A. D. CL1NARD, Proprietor.
jyj-APP HOUSE, :
GREENESBORO, GA. 1
I have now taken charge of the above 1
namt-u Hotel, already so renowned for con
venience, pledge comfort and neatness, and I j
myself to keep it up to its high
to the comfort of my guests, and politeness
to all. My charges will in all cases lie cuual
and I hope reasonable. to merit and By receive this course liberal of conduct share! j
a
' 0 Lan’n.i«7!.Xo-o na “' ; ' * A tr i!‘ AGUEK.' d -
Railroad Notices.
Georgia Railroad
-AND
BANKING Co.
Superintendent’s Office,
/COMMENCING Augusta, Ga., July 12, 1 wo. »
the following SUNDAY, 5th instant,
V ) passenger schedule will
be operated;
NO. 1 WEST—DAIRY. NO. 2 BAST—DAILY.
Lv. Augusta 9:35jajm 7:0ojaliii Lr.Atlantn 7:4 fl a m
“Macon 8:58aiml “ “ G'wf’d’U Alliens 9:15jaim
“ Milledg’U 12:21 p m
“ W’sli’i’n 9:15,11 mlAr.Witsli’g’ii Millgdg’ll 2:00 p m
Ar.OTdv’ll 12:20 p m “ 4:30 p m
“ Athens SiOOip'm 3:1 ftp m “ Macon Augusta 3:2S|plm <>:30 pjm
“ Atlanta “
NO. 3 WEST—DAIRY. NO. 4 EAST—DAIRY.
Lv. Lv. Cr’f’v’U Augusta 5:30 9:52 |ijm|Lv. Ar. Atlanta Athens (i:20|p; 7:30 m
p in C’f’dv’ll a m
Lv. Athens (P.nn p in ; Ar. 2:01a m
Ar. Atlanta 5:0o,a nijAr. Augusta 0:00 a tu
i-vV No connection to or from Washing¬
ton on 81' N T I) A YS.
S. K'. JOHNSON, K. If. DOKSEY~
Superintendent. Gen. l’ass’ger Agent.
Mav2,1879.
Magnolia Passenger Route.
Port Royai. & Augusta Railway, l j
. FOLLOWING Augusta, Ga., SCHEDULE July 17,1880. will be
fTlIIK JL
operated, on and after July 18, 1880:
GOING SOUTH. I "GOING NORTH.
Train No. 1. Trained). 2.
I.v Augusta 10.05pm Lv V’t Beaufort lioy’l 11.15 pm
ArEllenton 11.49 pm Lv 11.33pm
Ar Allendale l.'Stiani Ar Yeniassee 1.15am
Ar Yemasso 3.35 am i,v Charleston 9.00pm
Ar Lv Savannah Savannah 4.30 L.Wam:^ j savannah 9.00am
pm jV savannah 10.00 pm
Yeniasseewoo am
-Lv YeTnalee'Ll.T all! Lv Allendale 4 M 5 am
Ar Beaufort 5.48 am Lv Ellenton 6.01 am
Ar Port Royal o.Oq am.Ar Augusta jun am
GeoVgia ( RalLfX! T !^^ 0 Savannah m c!iaHcs
ton, Beaufort, and Port Royal. Also, with
and'port Ri> NflRTIL—Connections r -a^ *° r Charleston, Beaufort
GOING made with
Charlotte Columbia & Augusta Railroad
for all points North, and East with Georgia
Railroad for Atlanta and the West. Also,
with South Carolina Railroad for Aiken
and points on line of said Road.
WOODRUFF SLEEPING CARS of the
most improved style and elegance will be
operated.by AUGUSTA AND this
change. Baggage checked through.
VS Through tickets for sale at Union
all Depot Ticket Office, Offices. Augusta, Ga., and at
principal Ticket ®
General Superintendent.
J. S. DAVANT,
General Passenger Agent oct.l3,-t-f.
1,000 MILE TICKETS.
Georgia Railroad Company, 1
ffice enebal^sskng-k ^ent^ ^
/COMMENCING MONDAY. 7th inst.,
^D th mLr&ETs! C g^ E OAe?rnam
line and branches, at TWENTY-FIVE
ssatJ&ga^ss.wssb.ar not to firms and families combined. js
Mav-n 1879 Generan : a?simaerAgent.
500 MILE TICKETS.
GEORGIA RAILROAD COMPANY ) t
Office Genek’l Passenger Aot’,
Augusta, March 2, 1880. )
MILETtSeS COMMENCING JS this date ov” this mtSSS Com
and branches, elich. at THIRTEEN 75-100
DOLLARfc Tliese tickets will be
issued to individuals, firms, or families,
but not to firms and £amili«i (Ximbined.
General 'Pieseu-’i’r ° Vent °
Marchl” l-~0 1 - 0-0
Yol. 4.
THt SAXHS O’ 1)1312.
“OM - eaiftlVcattie t nth home? ° , IUe
And ’
Ami call the cattle Imuie,
The w estiun whni'ivas wild and dauk with
foam,
And all alone went she.
The creeping tide came along the sand,
And o'er and o’er the sand,
a.* far as eye couldsee* 1 sal, ' ! *
Tlle blinding mist came down and hid the
* am *’,
And . , never home oame she -
“ O is it weed ; or fish ; or floating hair—
O’ downed midden's hair
Above the nest at sea ?
" 8 AmongThM ““ 30 fair
They rowed her in across the rolling foam—
The cruel, hungry foam—
Butstill the bwdmen^hear*her call the cat
tie home
Across the sands o’Dee. !
hai.les Kingsley.
—-——- • —
CAPTAIN TODD’S HORST? *
“ You see, Dr. Bragg,” observed Cap
tain Todd, “ I want a reg’lar clipiier
built hoss, I don’t want stiffness and
breadth of beam so much as I want
good clear run. I want a horse to shew
off with, you see.”
“ Well, sir,” said the Doctor, patting
on the neck of a vicious looking animal
which he held by the bridle, “ if you
want a smart horse, I can’t recommend
a better animal than this. Just look at
t’ ,, lose heels. , , Ill! , Don ,, ,, t go near ’em !
As I told you, I’ve three horses that I
want to sell ; but if you want a horse
that will go, this tr.aro is just the beast
J n
“ You see,” said the Captain, confi
dentially, “ I don’t know much about
hosses, I am a sea-faring man. Fol¬
lowed the sea, man and hoy, nigh thirty
five years. Now I’m a-going to settle
down on shore, an’ I’m looking around
for a wife. I don’t mind tellin’ you
that I’m sort o’ courtin’ the Widow
Bunn. Now the widow is mighty fond
of a good fast hoss, and there’s another
feller—Sam Bliss ; perhaps you know
him—that’s shinin’ round the widow,
too. Sam’s got a first rate hoss, and
takes the widow to ride a good. deai.
Now if I don’t get something better
than Sam’s got 1 won’t stand any show,
for the widow will bo sure to ride most
with the man that’s got the fastest
horse, don’t you see.”
The Doctor nodded affirmatively. “ I
see,” he said, “I soe. Well, I think the
warn will suit you. She’s a knowing
beast. Just see how her ears are laid
back listening, if you find her getting
lazy, just toucli her up with the whip,
and she’ll climb, I can tell you.”
“ Well,” said the Captain, “if she’s
all you say she is, bring her around to¬
night, ;uid turn her into my pasture,
and to-morrow I’ll hitch her up in my
new lt| jfgy and give her a trial.”
Tlm^nuxt bjt afternoon, Captain Todd
run bright new buggy out of the
barn, and trowing a halter over his arm,
summoned Bill Tyke, and proceeded
to the pasture, where the Doctor had
left the mare the previous evening.
Bill Tyke was the Captain’s right
hand man. He had sailed with tlie
Captain all his life, anil now that the
Captain had retired from active duty,
Bill had retiredwith him, and under
taken to hsarn the art of fanning. In
appearance he was much like what the
i immortal Bunsby might have been, and
| he was not much the inferior of that
worthy in taciturnity and oracular wis
dom.
q'] ie Captain and his factotum eircura
navigated the pasture, and “bore
down ” upon the mare persuasively from
the ,, windward . , . ; but that intelligent am
mal saw them coming and flattened her
| ears The ,, <-APtain . was almost within
-
j i reach, when she threw up her head,
changed end3i and salultere d away to
i the further end of the field.
Tlie Captain swore a round oath, and
divided his forces. _ Billlyke „ _ , sent
was
to coast cautiously around the fence
while the Captain lay “ off and on” in
the offing. But it was a game that the
mar(j ullderstood best . She trotted
leisurely around the pasture, keeping
tantalizingly out of reach, and resisting
all the blandishments offered her iu the
j ! shape The^aptain of words and Bill ears of Tyke com. both fell
and
to talking, and followed the beast
around for an hour. At last, with con
»— »<«*« *
cornering her, and as she tried to rush
bet ween them, both sprang at her mane,
The Captain was successful, and held
on like grim death ; but Bill Tyke failed
*"° secllre a satisfactory grip, and was
j kicked head over heels into a blackberry
I bush, whence he emerged torn, bleed
ing and talking worse than ever. As
to the Captain he was dragged a hun
dred yards before fle managed to
“ board ” the iieast, but at last he found
himself on her back, tearing across the
pas t ure an d bounding a foot in the air
'at every jump. The mare made
straight for the bars, went over them
The Democrat.
CRAWFORDVILLE, GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 1880.
and finally came to a halt in the
tain's door-yard. The Captain slipped
off tu an exhausted condition, and drove
his new purchase into the barn.
The operation of harnessing was one
requiring all the seamanship of both
the Captain and Bill Tyke to success
ful 'y Perform. The uses of various
straps, buckles and “ belaying-pins ”
were the subject of several animated
discussions before the harness was Anal
ly adjusted. When all was complete,
Bill Tyke cruised around the wagon
several times, and observed that “ the
darned thing was ail right, anyhow.”
“ Then,” said the Captain, “ jest put
theold boat anchor into the buggy,
with about three fathoms of stout line,
an’you git iu behind.” “Dam ye,”
he continued, addressing the mare, “if
a tr ' ck iike that a S in > ™ fix
ye.”
Bill marched off to the tool-house and
remmeu, t ^ carrying carrying au an iron iron killock kiiiock and ana a a
coil of inch manilla roiie. To one end
of this line he fastened the anchor,
The other, by the Captain’s directions,
he tied by a double hitch to the rear
axle of the wagon.
“ Now,” said the Captain, “jump in,
Bill. I’ll make the old vixen hum
when we git the widow in.”
To the Captain’s great delight, the
widow was at home, and surveyed the
new turn-out with admiration. The
harness, she thought, looked somewhat
peculiar, but she did not know much
about such things. Of course she
would go to ride. IIow kind of the
Captain, and what a beautiful horse !
She was not long in getting ready, for
expedition at such times was one of the
widow’s many virtues. The Captain
helped her in, and the mare trotted
placidly off, while Bill Tyke sat behind,
with his legs hanging over the “ stern ”
of the wagon.
It was a delightful drive. The mare’s
head was turned away from home, and
she behaved herself much better than
the Captain expected. The sun was set¬
ting as they turned about to go home,
and as the evening shadows began to
fall the Captain began to grow tender.
Gradually his arm slipped around the
widow’s waist. Promptly she removed
it.
“ Captain Todd,” she exclaimed,
“you must not; i cannot allow it.”
She glanced backward at Bill Tyke,
who still sat dangling his heels over the
tail-board in blissful unconsciousness.
" O, don’t mind him,” said the Cap¬
tain ; “he don’t see nothin’.”
“ It is not that,” said tho widow,
blushing. “ But—I suppose I ought to
tell you—in fact, I don’t know that I—
ought to have come to rido with you at
all—because—”
“ ’Cause what ? ” asked the Captain.
“Because I am engaged to be mar¬
ried.”
“Engaged!” roared tho Captain.
“ Blast my topligiit! Who to ? ”
“ To Samuel Bliss.”
“ Heavens and eartli! ” yelled the
Captain, giving the mare a savage cut
with tho whip ; but he had no opportuni¬
ty to say more, for the mare made a
bolt as though about to jump out of her
skin, and tore along tho road like mad.
“ O, don’t, don’t! ” she cried.
Let her rip ! ” exclaimed the Cap¬
tain, more forcibly than politely. “ I
want ter git hum. Engaged to Sam
Bliss ! Good Lord ! ”
The Captain gave the mare another
lash with the whip, and Bill Tyke rose
up on his knees and held on for dear
life. It was getting dark rapidly. The
road was full of deep holes, and the
sides of the road were bordered with
clumps of bushes and large rocks, over
some of which the carriage bounced like
a rubber ball. The mare had it all her
own way, for she had the bit between
her teeth, and was on a dead run.
“ Hold her up, Cap’n ; hold her up ! ”
exclaimed Bill Tyke, in evident alarm.
“ Port your helium, an’ lay to.”
IIold U P y cr grandmother f replied
the Captain, savagely. “X can’t hold
Iier more tl,an 1 couW a three-mast
ed schooner in a hurricane.”
1 he widow relieved herself of a series
j i around of lacing the screams, Captain’s and neck. threw her arms
i “ I shall be killed !” she cried. “O,
Captain, dear Captain, for Heaven’s
sake stop the horse and let me get out!”
Captain Todn gave a quick jerk to the
1 —• ««• *•«, *»• *
fie and tlie widow went over backward
in the bottom of the wagon. The mare
increased her speed, if that was possible,
and the occupants of the vehicle devoted
all their attention to keeping on board
tlie craft, which touched the ground
apparently about once in fifty feet.
j j would The Captain make straight surmised for that Dr the Bragg’s mare
corn-crib, and if the wagon held
| er long enough they might hope to come
‘ to a halt there, though as for stopping
upright, it was scarcely to lie hoped for.
The mare was evidently not that
of a horse.
“We're almost to the long hill!” |
shouted BillTyke. |
The road fiu» far had been straight, !
but at the futtof the long hill was the
lane that letfo the Doctor’s barn and
the Captain fcnnised that at their pres
ent rate of sped the entire party would
get the out abomj-ee time the mare turned
corner. ;
The CaptaiT extricated himself from
the widow’s Rtticoats, and threw his
arms around the wagon seat.
“ All hunt) an deck 1 ” he shouted,
! “ Aye, ajt, sir ! ” responded Bill
! Tyke.
I “ Let go t!i< anchor I ” screamed the
Obtain.
B'R *CV to ’’dock in his
arms ana Lifi* of ci ooard It bound
ed along the^o ul from side to side for a
Jew yards U then caught under a
large rock Bitong the bushes. The
mare dashed {headlong onward. The
stout rope r stra|hteued in a second; ’
there was a ana like the lepoit oi a
cannon; the nuPB fell forward on her
knees, tearingAip the ground as she
we,1 t, while tffi’widow, the Captaiu and
Bill Tykeshotsip into the air about six
feet, and alighted in a semi-unconscious
condition arni« the wreck and debris of
what had been I te wagon.
It was the cud of Captain Todd’s
courtship. TU; wagon was au indis¬
tinguishable mass of kindling-wood;
the mare had bitiken both fore legs, and
required to lie slot, and the widow kept
her bed for thffio weeks. The Captain
again followed (lie sea, for, as ho often
remarks to hisifirst mate :
“ The sea, nidte Bjlt, is our pnqier spear.
We know about sailin’ vessels
than we do about driviu’ hosses.”
“Speak for ylurself, Cap’ll,” Bill al¬
ways replies. “At my end of the wag¬
on I did my doiiy.”
The Power of the Sections.
The Philadelphia 7'imcs has been fig¬
uring on the next apportionment of rep¬
resentation in Congress. It has prepared
a table giviug the population of all the
States with such accuracy as is possible
to arrive at until the official Count is an¬
nounced, together with the present rep¬
resentation and that which it anticipates.
The rule is to. fiy on the number of mem¬
bers—in this P> lance assumed to be 300
A..u tr. >nrt \m jailor. try mat
number. The population being 49,157,-'
404, the ration of representation will be
163,858. The population of each State
is then divided by this ratio, and the
quotient will be the number of Repre¬
sentatives the State is entitled to. It
always happens, however, that the aggre¬
gate of tlieso quotients falls below thu
number of members fixed upon. Those
additional members arp then given to
those .States which have tho largest frac¬
tions under the division.
With this introduction wo print the
table, In which tho States are arranged
according to their respective sections ;
States. Population Population s^Auiudsej 7 i !*f x p 9 |n ? *
1870. 1SS0. v !*! g
Connecticut, 537,454 623,133 4 A.
Maine, 626,915 645,800 5 -i*
Massachusetts, 1,457,351 1,783,812 H
New Hampshire, 318,300 347,314 3 tc
Rhode Island. 217,333 276,710 2 tc
Vermont, 330,551 334,455 3 tc
New York, 4,3*2,759 5,080,000 33 31
New Jersey, 906,096 1,100,000 7 7
Pennsylvania, 3,521,951 2,665,266|3,202,000 4,222,707 27 26
Ohio, 20 19
Colorado, 39,804 3,125,000 195,161 1 1
Illinois, 2,539,891 19 19
Indiana, 1,680,637 2,056,500 1 3 12
Iowa, 1,194,02011,435,226 9 6 6
Kansas, 364,399 1,600,000 1,009,000 3 9 10
Michigan, 1,184,059 780,072 3 8
Minnesota, 4.19,706 3
Nebraska, 122,993 452,542 1
Wisconsin, 1,054,6701,304,099 8 8
California, 560.247 863,000 4 8
Nevada, 42,491 55,188’ 1 1
Oregon,' 90,923 175,535, 1 1
A labama, 906,092 1,153,000 781,000 8
Arkansas, 484,471 4
Delawafc, 125,015 187,748 275,000 145,620 2 1
j Florida, 1,184,109 1,539,341 9 c tc
Kentucky, 1,321,011 1,734,331 10
Louisiana, 720,915 920,000 6 6
Krippi, 780,891 921,454 6 6
827,922 930,000 6 0
; Missouri, 1,721,295 2,375,932 13 14
™ Oaronna, 1,071,361 1,410,138 8 8
705,606 953,410 5 5
! Tennessee, 1,258,5201,550,000 10 9
Virginia, 818,5191,000,000. 6 10
: Virginia, 1,225,163; 442,014j 1,600,000 640,IKK); j 9 3 10 4
j West
i The totals foot up : for 1870, 38,558,-
2 f ium. 401 ~,7 • 404- ■ increase in
•
; J Zell2 -i. *w the Southern States
members, instead of the
W) they now have ’ a Kain of . t he Pa
ciflc stat#8 7> a Kai n of p . the four Mid .
^t, a p es K‘!, a loss of 4 ; the New En
gj and states 25, a loss of 3 ; the West-
1 states 73 a gain of 7 The
ern
nnmber now •„ 293 ; under the
plan it wiU be 300.
■ A victim of domestic infelicity who
in tho habit of dreaming should never
| to sleep in church while the contribution
plate is being passed, and gives the
,
near Quincy was somewhat
last Sunday when a venerable
excitedly yelled, ‘ Seehert, now.
that skillet, old woman !’ ”
"
T winfrew 8 Conversion.
Near the river, in the upper part of
Arkansas, lives old Jeremiah Winfrew,
known all over tlie neighborhood as pos
sessing a fund of profanity so great that
no one, uo mattei how desirous of
“swearing”distinction, could hope to
rival. Old Jeremiah although named for
one of the most distinguished prophets,
made no effort toward reform. He would
not allow a preacher to come to his house
so great was his aversion to the gospel.
One night, when the wind blew cold and
when the sleet beat against the window
pane with that sharp rattle so brightly
tending to produce thankful emotions to
those who are within a warm room, and
so exasperating to the traveler, a man
rapped on the door of Jeremiah's house.
“Come in,” exclaimed the old man,
as he put aside a plate of pop-corn. The
door ot>encd and a young man, carrying
a pair of saddlebags, entered, Jere
tniah immediately began a series of at¬
tentions. He gave the stranger a seat
in the corner near the churn, whilo his
wife and daughters flew around in that
hurry-flurry only known to women, pre¬
paring supper, for the “ poor traveler.”
After supper, when the stranger had
been invited to smoke and when Abe,
Jeremiah’s son, had been sent to “shel¬
ter ” the stranger’s horse, the old man,
eyeing the stranger, asked :
“ What trade do you fuller ?”
“ I am engaged in the Lord’s merchan¬
dise. I, my kind Christian friend, am a
meek and lowly circuit rider.”
“ Then get outen my house, sir,” ex¬
claimed Jeremiah. “ Git light out, oi¬
l’ll apply a pa’r of cowhide boots to
that part of your physical arrangement
wlmt rests in the cheer. A circuit ri¬
der ; why, ding your soul, I swappod
horses with a circuit rider when 1 was a
boy, and got cheated so bad that my fa¬
ther thrashed me. Get out of here, mo¬
1”
No. 35.
“ I am sorry, my Christian friend—”
“ Git out. Abo, git this toller’s lions.
Move on.”
When the preacher had gone, theold
man sat for an hour, swearing and smok¬
ing
“Father,” said A lie. P I’ll bet my
bay filly agin the sorrel nag that yin’ll
be a circuit rider in six months.”
“ Go to bed, you young yarmint, or I’ll
whale you.”
“ You’d better take tho bet, pap.
Here’s yoi r el a iee to win the filly.”
“ All right, I’ll take the bet. Go to
bed.”
All next day tlie old man swore about
tho preacher’s impudence and in general
terms expressed regret that he did net
use a stick on him. Next uight, while
tlie old man was feeding the cattle in
the barn, a voice so strange that it made
tlie old man’s blood creep, moaned rath¬
er than exclaimed:
“Jeremiah Winfrey!”
“ Who’s that ?” answered tho old
man.
“ Jeremiah Winfrey!”
“ Well.”
“ Hide the circuit of the Gospel.”
“ I’ll show you what it is to fool with
me,” hotly exclaimed the old man, and
lie climbed all around in tlie barn look¬
ing for the offender. He could find no
one, and when ho went to the house he
roused Abe out of bed and tol l of Ills
strange experience. Next day, when
tlie old man was riving hoards in tlie
woods, a voice over his head exclaimed :
“ Jeremiah Winfrey t”
“ Wliero are you 1” said the old man,
dropping bis froe, and gazing up.
“Jeremiah Winfrey 1”
Well!” still gazing!
“ Bide the circuit of tlie Gospel t”
“Oh, Lord I supplicated Jeremiah,
dropping on his knees. “ Oli! forgive
me for my sins, but keep me from rid¬
ing a circuit.”
The old man went home, and exper¬
ienced some trouble in trying to con¬
vince his wife and Abe of the fact that
something supernatural hail s|>okon to
him, The old lady sighed and said that
she was afraid Jeremiah was not iu his
right mind. Thus matters went on for
months. Nearly every nigjit tho voice
at the barn would call tlie old man, and
every time he went to the hoard tree the
same solemn admonition would come
from above. Unable to longer endure
such mental torture, the old man, who
had by this time professed religion, made
application to conference, and was ac¬
cepted. On the morning when he first
started out as a circuit-rider he present¬
ed Abe with tlie sorrel nag. He soon
instituted a revival, and was so success¬
ful that he received a complimentary
letter from religious headquarters. Sev
eral nights ago, just after family pray
ers, and while Parson Jeremiah wan up¬
braiding Abe for not joining the church,
the young man said :
“ Pap, and you did become a circuit
rirlor. didn’t ?”
The Democrat
hails:
One >juare, la st ihseitiou $ M
One Square, each subsequent insertion 21
One Square, tiiiee mouths 4 00
One Square, twelve mouths 8 00
Quarter Column, twelve mouths . . 25 00
Halt Column twelve months 40 00
One Column twelve months . do uo
;«/ One luck or Less considered as a
square. We have no tractions of a square,
all tract ions of squares will be counted ai
square*. Mberal deductions made on Con¬
tract Advertising.
“ Certainly I did. You well know
circumstances.*'
“ Yes, 1 know, ' replied Abe. “I
a leetle more about the circum¬
than you reckon. Arter I made
bet with you 1 hid in the ham loft
called you through a horn. When
dim up I hid under the hay. Then
beat you down and run to the house.
day when I seed you goiu’ out to
boards, l dim up in the tree an 1 got
in the holler. I again beat you to
house. I practiced this ou you, pap,
you ’fessed ’ligion. I wanted the nag,
know.’’
The old man sprang from his seat,
a piece of rope, but throwing it
raised his hands and said in a
voice. “ Let us pray.”
A fraudulent transaction can some¬
have a good result. The old man
still a preacher.
Gossip for the Ladies.
Go ask that rare ami radiant maid
Whose jaws just fairly hum,
What tints she madly masticates,
And lu'f red lips are dumb.
She cannot choose a husband yet,
Therefore she chews her gum.
When a man is making love to a wid¬
ow’, he always feels as if ho had to begin
where the other fellow left off.
When a girl receives a billet-doux from
her “feller” and puts it in her corset,
is she fibbing when she tells hiut she put
it in the waist basket ?
A woman went to the races at Roches¬
ter in men’s clothing, to see if her hus¬
band was there with another woman.
Thu disguise was not good, and she was
arrested.
An American girl who marries an
Italian Marquis gets on very well until
his serene highness begins to spend all
her money and talk of “ her father z*
shopkeepaire.”
Now York State ladies never forget to
be courteous to strangers. When dis¬
covering a midnight burglar they always
ask : “Sir, will you please explain your
presence here?”
A Williamsport woman who has not
spoken a word since 1873 has received an
average of fifteen marriage propoaab a
year during that time. A word ta the
wise is sutlicient.
Alieautiful and finely-formed Phila¬
delphia girl who lias joined a burlesque
troupe, h.s given away all her handsome
dresses, (she expects to appearAn ciiar
actors requiring very little clothing.
Beneath He lieldJper A shady hand, tree stie they held/hU sat, hat,
I held They (Ay k breath 1 and lay themjJlfctt. light flat
saw
Ho hold tlu." jr,.-li) K iv«« no et'jue—
Who 1 held held uiy hejfiead l/Hc and up every tlme^N
ll'l.de tlfi though* wrote this kuewT rhvmaV
one
Archery is a fashionable amusement
among our girls, for the reason that
whon they go out to practice they can
lake their bows witli them —and spring
them- and string them—and lean on
them,
“I think I’ll cut across the fields,”
said a city hello, who was visiting her*
country cousin—“ the wether permit¬
ting,” she added, as shu-observed a de¬
monstrative sheep of the masculine tier
suasion.
We noticed a somewhat novel exhibi¬
tion of the national colors the other day,
as a young lady ah” '.d of ns was tripping
daintily across t,. street wearing red
h ise, a hole in tlie i iol of the same, and
blue slippers.
“ Yes,” said tho widow Simpson, with
a sigh, “ the coroner’s jury said it was
a mysterious dispensation of divine prov
idence when poor George was taken
away ; but I call it the only downright
good luck I ever had.”
An exchange says: “Pennsylvania
Dutch girls make good preserves,” but
it doesn’t say how much sugar you take
to a pound of Dutch girl, nor how long
you iet ’em boil. The receipt for pre¬
serving Dutch girls should ho published.
Mary Anderson is at Long Branch,
and the local poet celebrates her coining
in tho following lines :
When she rides, their all the beaux
Get up on tiptoes,
And swear she's as trim as a fairy.
“ The first bashful kiss,” said Mr.
Blubbs mournfully, “ twicks like a bust¬
ed soap bubble, it's so faint, don't you
see ; but tho good-bye kiss,” he added
as he wiped away a tear, “ often sounds
like the ripping of a clapboard off an
empty woodshed,”
In a lengthy obituary notice of a prom¬
inent Western man, the leading local pa¬
per makes this remarkable statement:
“ The corpse was elegantly clad by direc¬
tion of his devoted wife, and his casket
was made to conform, as far as possible,
with the comforts lie was wont to sur¬
round himself in the home he has left.”
A Louisville woman bought some
Louisville and Nashville stock at 38. It
advanced to 41, and she desired to sell,
but she had mislaid tho certificate and
could not find it. The price kept on ris¬
ing until it reached 1(K). She employed
a lawyer to obtain a new certificate,
but the proceedings were delayed. At
length she found tlie document, just as
the stock was quoted at 141, at which
figure she sold.
THOUGH LOST TO RtOHT, TO MEMORY DEAR.
Sweetheart, good-bye ! the fluttering sail
Is spread to waft me far from thee ;
Ami soon before hound the favoring gale
My ship shall across the sea.
Perehance all desolate and forlorn.
These eyes shall miss thee many a year,
But unforgotten every charm—
Though lost to sight, to memory dear.
1 . Sweetheart, good-bye ! one last embrace ! !
(> < „ rll „i f a <,e, two souls to sever
Yet, in this heart's most sacred placj,
Thou, though alone, sliabt dwell forever.
And still shall recollection trace
In fancy's mirror ever n*ar,
Each smile, each tear open that, face,
Thou; h lost to sight , to memory dear.
P’ THVh.\ Jl.RHV.VS.
