The democrat. (Crawfordville, Ga.) 1877-1881, September 08, 1880, Image 1

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The democrat., September 08, 1880, Image 1

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Newspaper Page TextThe Democrat. A Live Weekly Paper on Live Issues Published Every Wednesday Morning, at C’rawfordvllle, Ga. M. Z. Andrews, Proprietor. RATES OF SUBSCRIPTION: Single Single Copy, (one year,) . . . $ 2 Single Copy, (six months,) . 1 00 Copy, (three months,) . . 50 S3T JOB Advertising rates liberal. ROOK and PRINTING a specialty. Prices to suit the times. Hotel Cards. j^UGUSTA HOTEL, CORNER OF BROAD AND SIXTH STS., AUGUSTA, GEORGIA. Telegrapiruffice Express in'thebumiing^an^South^ Office door ern Co. next to Hotel Buildltm. Rooms superior to any in the B UveryStaWec«»ne?ted ket affords with the Moose. Special MUKRAY rates to Commercial BOYLE, Tfavelers. * Proprietors. 1! RUCE S HOTEL, OPPOSITE PTBLIC SQUARE. fittwl andTt h i a V"nish^i U &T°I&1 wbL' lent to tl.e lVpot. GmKl sample rooms for Commercial fravelers. C. E. BRUCE, Proprietor. QLINAKD HOUSE, CEATTON STREET, NEAR POST-OFFICE, ATHENS, GEORGIA. Rooms all carpeted. Good sample rooms for Commercial Travelers. A. I). CL1NARD, Proprietor. j^JAPP HOUSE, OUEENESBORO, GA. I have now taken chargo of tho above named Hotel, already so renowned for con¬ venience, comfort and neatness, and I pledge myself to keep it up to its high reputation with the best by keeping my affords, table supplied the market attention to the comfort of my guests, and politeness to all. My charges will in all cases beeoual and reasonable. By this course of conduct I hope to merit and* receive a liberal share of the public patronage. A trial is solicited. Jan.17.1879.Lo-o L. AGREE. rjrtlE GLOBE HOTEL, CORNER EIGHTH AND IHIOAD STREETS, AUGUSTA, GEORGIA, Is centrally located, and within five min¬ utes’ walk of all the principal Business Houses, ings, Union Banks, Depot, Post Office, Public Build¬ Offices and Express Opera House, Telegraph Office. Street cars pass the door, going to all parts of the city and vicinity, every five minutes during The the day. House is supplied with all the eon veniences of .a a first-class Modern Hotel, and ^specially well located, and provided with 'Kill convenient facilities for Commer¬ cial Travelers carrying samples. Each room connected with the office by bells. Telephone attachment with the city and Summerville in the office for the accom¬ modation of guests. G. S. ATKINSON & SONS, Prop’rs. Foimerly of Clemens House, Danville, Ky. Railroad Notices. Iweorgia Railroad -AND BANKING Co. Superintendent’s Office, ) /COMMENCING Augusta, Ga., July 12,1880. \ the following SUNDAY, 5th instant, Yz passenger schedule will bo operated : NO. 1 WEST—DAILvT NO. 2 EAST—DAII.V. Ly. Augusta 9:35iaim Lv. Atlanta 7:45].a m “Macon 7:00 am “ Athena 12:24|p 9:15 a in ” Wsh’i’n Miltedg’ll 8:58 a m Ar.Wash’g’n “ Cwf’dll in “ 0:1 Oja in 2:00 p m Ar.O’f’dv’U 12:20 3:15jplm p m “ Milledg’Il 4:30 p m “ Athens “ Macou 6:30 p m “ Atlanta 5:00 p m ^ Augusta 3:28!p m NO. 3 WEST—DAII/V. NO. 4 EAST— DAIRY. Lv. Augusta 5:30 plm Lv. Atlanta 6:20 p m Lv. Cr’f’v’Il 9:52 p!m Ar. Athens 7:30ja m Ly. Athens 6:00 p m Ar. C'f'dv’ll 2:01 am Ar. Atlanta 5:00ia;m Ar. Augusta (J.OOIalni No connection to or from Washing¬ ton on SUNDAYS. S. K. JOHNSON, E. K. DORSEY, Superintendent. Mav2,1879. Gen. X’ass’ger Agent. Magnolia Passenger Route. Port Roy at, & Augusta Rait.wav, > FpHE X operated, FOLLOW on and INGbCHhDLLE after July 18 will 1880 ■„ : i ho , GOING SOUTH. GOINAnORTH.~ Train No, 1 . _Train No. 2 .__ Lv Augusta to.on p i CvP’tltoy’l ll.45pn» k?ffiate”-K> 3^jtmGhariesrenNoOpm ArYem asse LOOainiLvjr^,,—^^ LvYemassee Lv J’kxonVlleLM^Yemassee Savannah 4 30^‘Argavannah 9.00am $am Ar 2 ArCharleston 8 Lv Yemassee 4.15 am Lv Allendale 4.15 am gjass-ssssssss GOING SOUTH.—Connections made with CentralSoad Pnr^y ^Charilston a, 7 ah k B^autort *"rora■ ChaS ^Gu cSS t 7 t r rSt m- tili \ hi for ail points North, and East with Georgia NiSth onlfneof r “ saffiRotd. Rfilr h o e ad W for Md points WOODRUFF SLEEPING CAES of the ^SS hR STA ’ AND without Baggage cheeked through. l*T Through tickets for sale at Union Depot Ticket Office, Augusta, fla., and at an principal Ticket Offices. General Superintendent. ■ J, , 5. DA „ v ANT, General Passenger Agent oct.l.3,-t-f. 1,000 MILE TICKETS. Georgia Railroad Company, > [ t Office pOMMENcfN^MONlS^^TthlnL General Passenof.rAoent. v & this Company will sell ONE THOT’S- i > j 2 ’&zs* 2 ‘ DOLLARS each. These tickets will be ' issued to individuals, firms or families, Dut not to firms and families j f Mavft. 1879. Genera! Passenger Agent. ' week in your own town. Tmasand ^ outfit free. Address H. Hali.ett A Co., Portland, Maine. novl4,’79-j-y Vol. 4. “HE WHO HIGH AT AZAN." SrlSEs beauty and perfectness—among others the heart-touching one, "She is Dead.” Mr. Arn old describes the lines as a paraphrase fr °m certain Arabic verses quoted in Pal grave’s “Travels in Arabia." It is often I “ is, l“ ot ‘ !< | “ He ">’<> (U ^ i at Aiim,’’ but Mr. Arnold repudiates the latter.orthogra Phy.— Ed. Democrat. ] after death in Arabia. He who died at Azan s&nds This to comfort alt his friends. Tal^anVwhitcVnd^ohfis 1 Nupw';’ aVthehead,' 1 ‘ * Weeping I I can see hear your falling tears, Yet can I smile, your and sighs and prayers ; I whisper this— am not the thing you kiss; Cease your tears, and let it lie ; It was mine, it is not “1.” Sweet friends! what the women lave. For its last bed of the grave, Is but a hut which I am quitting, Is a garment no more fitting, Is a cage, from which at last, Like a hawk, my soul hath passed ; Love the inmate, not the room— The wearer, not tho garb—the plume Of the falcon, not the bars Which kept him from the splendid stars ! Loving friends! Be wise and dry Straightway What lift every weeping eye : ye ujion the bier Is not worth a wistful tear. 'Tis au empty sea-shell—one Out of which the pearl has gono ; The shell is broken—it lies there ; The pearl, the all, the soul is here. ’T is an earthen jar, whose lid Allah sealed, the while it hid That treasure of his treasury, A mind that loved him ; let it lie! Let tii© shard be earth’s once more, Since the gold shines in His store! Allah glorious! Allah good ! Now Thy world is understood ; Now the long, long wonder ends ! Yet ye weep, my erring friends, White the man whom ye call dead, In unspoken bliss, instead, Lives and loves you ; lost, ’tis true, By such light as shines for you ; But in the.light, ye cannot see Of in enlarging unfulfilled l’aradise felicity Lives a life that never dies. Farewell, friends ! Yet not farewell; Where I am, before ye too shall dwell. I am gone your face, A moment’s time, a little space : When ve come where 1 have stepped, Ye will wonder why ye wept; Ye will know, by wise love taught, That here Is all, and there is naught. Sunshine Weep awhile, still if ye are fain— must follow rain; Only Now Iiknow, not at death—for first death. breath i is that Which our souls draw when we enter Life, which is of ail life center. Bo ye certain all seems love, Viewed from Allah’s throne above ; Be ye stout of heart, and come La Bravely Allah, onward ilia Allah to your / home ! Thou yea I Thou Love divine 1 Love alway t He that died at Atari gate This to those who made hit grave. A Submarine Discovery. The officers of the Goast Survey an¬ nounce the discovery of. a submarine plateau under tlie Gulf Stream off Charleston, the existence of which had not been susjiected, but which must ex¬ ert an important influence on tlie Gulf Stream temperature, and also on the cli¬ mate of our southern seaboard. In rnn ning a line of deep sea dredgings off Charleston Commander Barlett was re cently surprised to find in the axis of the great stream depths of ffom 233 to 450 fathoms only, where it was thought tliey would range from 000 to 1,#00 fathoms. This “ swell of land,” rising fr ° m the ■ Atlantic lwtt;oin ’ was foun(1 stretching eastward 150 miles between 1 ., “®P M » U 8 01 aua degrees, . at , « the northeastern terminus of which the depth of water suddenly increased from aboufc 450 fathoms. The submerged ridgo projecting from the Carolina coast must obviously servo as a fender or bar to deflect from our Southein seuboird the underflow of water coming from Newfound land, and, by forcing the glacial stream great nver 111 tbe 8e& ” to rotain *t* | tr °i’ ,cal he;d ' unreduced by commixture undercurrent, all the way from t,ie to Charleston. Ibis in- \ fereDCe fr0m tl,e reCefJl Coast surwy souud*ngs is confirmed by the tempera tures of the Gulf stream on the Ad mi chart, which shows a decided cooling of the stream after it passes *>*** 01 Charleston, and also, what is more remarkabie, that in September , (when the ocean is at its warmest) the . between Charleston _ is warmer and tlie Florida channel than it is even in tho Gulf it8elf . The peculiar topo graphy of the Atlantic bottom off tlie Carolina coast, it would seem, explains also the fact which has lately excited much , ....... that June , , rrtil suipr.se, the immense munaiana “J, lce made -'^ aru, no S impression water from on tlie summer of 187o, like that iftftd, ,c * l,er ‘>* °« «*« c0 ‘* 8t soiitiiwarri ,, ; Lut. contrary to popular opinion, these icc masses and the swollen telar stream that bore them had no ef-: ^ fr °m *“ Nantucket low « n “8 to the Florida. air temperatures Could the icy water bave surged up against the The Democrat. * GEORGIA, SEPTEMBER 1880. shore adhiVerent result would have been felt, wi may therefore conclude that barrier projecting out into the Atlantic, intercepting the volume of heavy water moving southwestwardly over the sea bed, and thus securing throughout summer the extraordinarily high temper ature of eighty degrees, which is ob served in the western edge of the Gulf Stream all the way from Cape Hatteras up to Nantucket Shoals.—.New York Herald. No “ Pinafore,”^ Please. The execution of the orders or local laws is placed in the hands of a police force of twelve or fifteen Jerseymen. History teaches that the ordinary Jersey policeman is a terrible fellow when clad in authority. Ocean Grove gives exam pies to prove that history has made no mistake, and, as examples have been spoken of, it is appropriate to cite one occurring under the witness’ observation. Down on tlie beach last uiglit a party of young men were sitting on tlie edge of an old boat siuging softly and rather musically tlie air, whose words ran “ Farewell, farewell my own sweet love,” etc., when a policeman came up. “ I’ll have to request you fellows to stop that are singing,” ho said ; “ and I’ll have to request you to come out of that boat. ” “Why, it’s my boat,” said ono of the party, whose property it was “Ican’t help that; vou’ll have to come out of that boat and stop your singing. It’s camp-meetiug time, and the worshippers mustn’t bo disturbed.” One of the gentleman said : “ It’s no use discussing anything with these fel¬ lows ; we may its well do as lie tells us.” And so they did. The reporter stood oil the walk and was amused. To him the policeman said: “ Now, no loud laugh¬ in’; orders are to keep quiet during camp-meeting time.” Before that the reporter had beard the notes of “ Little Sally Waters ” played on tlie piano of the hotel. Looking in to see what was the cause of so remark¬ able a departure in the music usually furnished from that locality, he saw the proprietor of the hotel arrive in time to stop the- first charm before it wus half over and lock the piano. When lie put the key in his pocket ho said, “Don’t you know this is camp-meeting time ?” and looking with orthodox severity at the culprit, left lier all abashed, and strode out to his office to collect board at the rate of 83 a day from all transients. It was camp-mooting time indeed. The reporter witnessed another scene. A gentleman having bought a cigar at tho drug store on the principal street, walked down past tho tenting ground puffing away. “Please don’t smoke,” said a po¬ liceman. “Don’t you know it’s camp¬ meeting time ?” Tlie smoker In stoned off to Long Branch ou tlie next train.-~ Hew York Herald. The Love That Knows No Four, A lettei . uf Uob i 5lu , de tte’s, declining an invitation to a college reunion, lias just found its way into tho press. He saj ‘ , s . Mrs _ ] 5ur( j e tte’s health-if tho poorlit ^j e su/jvret’s combination of aches and p aina and helpnessness may be dosig nated by such a sarcastic appellation— i uas la a i.u=n been steadily ste-ulilv failino- tailing ,,n all winter, and W e have come down to this sea-girt Isl anil to see if Old Ocean and its breezes may do What the doctors and mountains and ptalrics have failed to do. And here wc are waiting . « Her little serene hi g hness ,” in utter helplessness, unable t() stalI(l alone (for yeara she has been unable to walk), her helpless hands fold ed in her lap ; she must be dressed, car rip ,i ffir i:..,,,, an ff night, and ! cannot leave her even lora few days. No ono at Chautauqua wiI1 fee , thedisapjrelntmentas we do, for we had planned to go there together. If Sim could go with me, I would be glad enough t o creep to Chautauqua on mv knees- JIer jjf e J]as been a fountain of 3trength m(; . £u ten long years I have ^ Tfor i_ rit .,<■. 1 , i a mom than half long I bave ^ her rit tin g in patient helpless n ess, aud I have never heard a complain ing murmur from her lips while she has served as those who only stand and never doubting the wisdom and the goodness of the Father whose hand has teen laid upon her .so heavily. The bean tiful patience of her life has been a con -1 8tant reb uke to my own impatience, and inker sufferings l haye seen and know an(5 v>elieve the “love that knows no , th ® U ' th that " knowi5 no douW .” tells its own story. A Cambridge mother sent her small boy into tho country, and after a week: of anxiety has^ i this letter: “ I got here all rj "" * forgot to - write , 1 before yit is nice place to have fun. A feller and I went out m a boat, aud the boat lipi ed over, and a man got me sr* 1st: as The otoerV y has got to bo buried after they find hj*u. llis mother como from Cheisei., boss kicked,_:ae atjt’ she over, cries aud all I tho have time. got to A have some mitey to pay a doctor for fix in’ my head We are going to set an old barn on U: o-aight, and I should smile if we don't nave bully fun. I lost my watch, r I yn very sorry. I shall bring CtVw.ll shall bring Ijqjs hone ,-jtae a'tatne mud turtles, and. I Lt- l# kAV, .A A *... ... . — woodchuck ■ .1 .. 1 if • I* I 1* can gc 'mntn my trunk.’* •, -a*.--- hi De , .‘tradsi.* the Book. “ Sir. ttotr id Brjtd fitugli ! ” The 'roWsd.ad hardly ceased to echo trough tli«*<>wded court room when a tal1 ’ 1 ud3t,,lie!y <*"****1 courtly-man nered 3 > " D * *** n wal J‘® d a “* etly to tho fl0ut * ^ery thing about the witness betokened the thorough gentleman, With folded arms lie stood facing the desk. ; »'» “ Kiss the hook.’’ “ I respectfully decline, judge.” His honor hwfced aghast, the chief’s hair lilted hi hat almost off of his head, and the spectators, of all colors and sizes, were struck motionless with amazement. The witness stood with folded arms and erect figure, his fine head turned from the extended volume. “ Are jjeki an infidel ?” “ I lauitj't.” “ “Not Perhaps you are an atheist ? ” u. all.” “ And y. refuse to kiss this book ? ”* “ I deef u, to kiss that book.” “ Are you mad, man ? ” “ My m ud was never clearer.” “ Do yo i believe in the Bible ? ” “ I do: but I’m not willing to kiss that one.” “ Within is the moral law thundered from Sira!.” “ It' s i.” “A./ ^TiosMestial he words of the prophets burn¬ ing tire—” “ Yoi.,fpeak true.” “ And tho sweetest story over tohl to the ages ” ** RiRYisgam.” “ Bel w men%ban you ever dared to « . tilts sacred'to “ mnHerficm then 1 ovdr dared to lie bare kissed that holy volume. ” “ Woman's thin red lips have kissed it.” “ Woman’s thick blue lips Imvo kissed it.” “Moon-eyed haekmen have kissed it.” “ Statesmen have kissed it.” “ Humpbacked tramps havo kissed it.” “The rosy lips of health havo been here.” “ Tho fevered lips of sickness have teen there.” “ The quivering lips of distress have pressed it.” “ Yes. aud barbers have bussed it.” “ Genius luts imprinted upon it a kiss.” “ And so have snuff-dipping spin¬ sters.” “ The chiselled lips of beauty liaye touched it.” “ And the onion tainted lips of dray¬ men have smacked it.” “ It breathes a beautiful spirit.” “ Yes, and smells of live cent whis¬ ky.” 1 ft is tho good book.” i , but.it’e . etireiked wiUi tobacco . . T1,at “*7 . „ „ b,lt , U 51,1,1 . ;' , 80 ; 3 grea8y 4 “ 13 tlui kcst book 1,1 11,0 who,M . . world. 111 “<»!»•/-«•;**,«• m w o e woi on u. on ?*** u o. You have refused to do What both racca, both *»• and all SI7 .. f liV !. ° l " i ' dltlon .... Ye8 v s ,iavo ’ tho “ kis 8ands sc ' d ll,at f p f bf>ok , con ' ' ’ ’ “ You bet, and you’ll have to bring m ; * newbook, judge, rt you want me. to do any kissing this morning.” Brid,,,,,Bh ? ” , f Ami you know nothing about this “Not a thing” “ How dare you answer to that name, ,, , ^ , , v ,, ^ cnt . can , t , ^ y(JU a nUB t "-Atonta CoustUu lvm . ' ------ - A rather emaciated old darkey who 'hives a dray fora wealthy Galveston fir “ hitd a '™ liu S with 1,13 employers a few days ago. T i r i v: crease my celery. I don’t get enough to 1’se fallin off eliery day.” “ That’s just what we want,” said the proprietor, robbing his bauds in high glee. “ we have no use for a fat driver, That’s the reason we don’t giro you high wages. You would get to be fat and No. 36. heavy, and that would lie so much extra weight for the poor mule to pull." szitz ~"* “ You mustn’t talk that way. Uncle Mose. You must not do that for the poor mule's sake. Just hold out, and at the next meeting of our society for the prevention of cruelty to animals I will see that you are tendered a compliment ary vole of thanks for your heroism in lightening the load of the mule.” Olive Logau on Advertising. I supixise you don’t know what sort of a pen I atu writing to you with ; I I SSI ITSK \ lr> *^ « with, yet the i* 1 . ^ ■ wtyi is au^epit ome of all that has ever been printed, spoken or snug .regarding the value of advertising to the mercantile continual Gliserve the following facts : In Pans, recently, 1 saw a friend who had just come over, using a pen of pecu liar construction, designed with social reference to thoso untidy persons who, like myself, ink their lingers when they write. Now, my friend is a man whose hands are as lilies, with fmger-n ails liko rose-buds in tint •, noticeable hands— even remarkable, considering that he is an elderly man, and who occasionally helps with the lighter work on bis farm in Nebraska. Catch him inking iiis fin¬ gers ! “ Why, where did you get that nieo pen ?” I asked him,with a vista of bliss¬ ful exemption from an unluked middle finger opening u[n>n my joyous, expect¬ ant mind. “ tu Omaha,” ho answered ; “used to ink my linger before l got it.” IIo did. Hu inked his fingers! That was enough for me, I got the name of tho merchant from whom ho bought the pen, tlie price of it, and, inclosing the money, I sent from Paris to Omaha for that pun. By the last steamer it carno to mo. There had been a little delay. Tlie stationer at Omaha was out of them, hut lie sent up to Sioux City, to tho mail that advertises thorn, for anoth¬ er lot. And here is where the laugh comes in; so prepare to pucker. Tlie pens are an English invention, aud tons of them can ho bought in London, if de¬ sired. At the HtatldnerX next door, l Sioux could have City. got But 'What how I had could sent f'lmve jor to known that ? I dealt with tire man who advertised. Good Advice. A physician writes tho following ser.* sildo advice : My profession has thrown mo among women of all classes, aud ex¬ perience teaches mo that God never gave man a greater proof of Iiis love than to place woman here with him. My advice is: Go and propose to tlie most sensible girl you know of. If she says yes, tell her how much your income, from what source derived, uml tell her yon will divide the last dollar with her, and love her with all your heart in the bargain ; then keep your promise. My word for it that she will live within your income, and to your last hour you will regret that you did not marry soon¬ er. Gentlemen, don’t worry about fem¬ inine untruth. Just you lie true to tier, love her sincerely and tell it to her fre¬ quently, and a more fond, faithful, fool¬ ish slave you will never meet anywhere. You won’t deserve her, I know, hut she will never see it. Now, throw aside pride and selfishness, and see what will come of it. ParlodLovera They were very fond of each other, and had been engaged, but they quai reled and were loo proud to make up. 1,0 calIe ‘ 1 ’ afewdil > 8 ilg0 > at her f: ‘ ther’s house to seethe old gentleman, ou business, of course. She was at tlie door. Is your father in ‘t “No, sir,” she replied, “ pa is not n. at present. Did you wish to see him personally t” “ W wi *« ^ Wu,r re8i,on.se, feeling that slie was yielding, “ on very particu , ar personal business,” and ho turned proudly to go away. “ I bog your pardon,” she called after “ 1,0 «« ^ ^ who shall I say called ?” lie never smiled ugain. There is a wide difference of opinion as, ° the nu,nll ‘* r (,f eate '* Adam in the Garden of Eden. Home say Eve H (ate), and Adam 2 (two); total, 10 ; others, Eve 8 and Adam ft, total H»; others *uy | if Kve 8 sincl Adam „ 2 , the total is ho but if Eye ft 1 and A( , :im g 2 , tho total is 163; if Eve ft Adam ft 1 2 the total is ft'fi if Eve 3,' ale 1 1st (ate one first) and Adam 8 1 the totalis 1 623 • if Eye ft i 4 Adair, ....... jf Evo 8 1 4 Adam, ami Adam ft 1 2 12 oblige Eve, the total is >-3,056. .Still ! wrong. Eve when she ft l H 1 2 many, 1 * q'hcrefore^if l,,d Pj'oliably tell siinv Im it■ ;_soAdam, Adai.l 8 1' 1 Eve’s depressed spirits, they both 8l,ft'Jfi,fi04 apples. The Democrat. Ai>t KitTisiAc Kanes: One .jqnare, first insertion 3 SS8SS88 One S|tiare, each subsequent insertion One Square, three months One Square, twelve months Quarter Halt Column, twelve months . Column twelve months Due Column twelve months . :» One inch or l,ess considered as a aqua i4: We have fin fractions of a square, all fractions of squares will be counted as squares, lateral deductions made on Con¬ tract Advertising. X Gossip for tho Ladies. sssssi: To friend-, the across wav a soul only needs to see a smite in a white craix; bonnet in order to enter the P'lacc of diearns. I'dne is an excellent color for both blondes and brunettes—light blue for the blonde, dark blue for the brunette. A Philadelphia girl, who received a dozen offers of marriage last week, has not yet issued her letter of acceptance. W hen a man and a woman are made 0!le , the question, “Which one?” is a hothii.some one until it is settled, as it thatmatches *V. are made in heaven, remarked that aim did n’t care a cent how soon she went there. •Jenny June tells of a young girl who, whole eowifof'sifkMt ;, workrt straw. ^ w p 6att oats aiuI grafSi Sj wiUl fln( , Kp j it The Leavenworth Times sums up the latest breach-of-promlse verdict as fol¬ lows : “An injured woman sues her de¬ ceiver for #150,000. And she runs $111, behind the 1 ticket.” God took his softest clay and his pur¬ est colors and made a fragile jewel, mys¬ terious and caressing—tire linger of a woman. The devil awoke aud at the end of that rosy linger put—a nail. Ho talked love to her, and dove to her. And tried to squeeze her hand. While she sat nil and “yessed” and "noed ’* And yawned behind her fan— (Because she had snt up the night before With a fellow she had a fondness for). Women, especially unmarried women, are snares on the road to peace and hap¬ piness. get'married, A fellow will fall in love with them, children and have a family of five before he, realizes Whitt ho is doing. A Orawfordville suitor wroto to his sweetheart as follows: “Your father kicked mo last night and forbado me tho house. If 1 whip him, would it lessen your love for me.” She replied that it wouldn’t, and tho parent was soundly thrashed. Dr. Tanner, tho fasting man, quit his wife because she ate pork and cabbage three times a day. IIo says it is impos¬ sible to live with such a woman. Boys, this is a dot for you. Take our advice and marry a girl who eats nothing but dew-drops mixed with canary brains. An Augusta man, after a little experi¬ ence, truthfully and indignantly asserts that no woman, however, nervous, has a right to wake up her husband from a sound (deep to leii him, ou inquiring what’s tho matter, “ Nothing, only I wanted to know if yon were awake ? ” Barker says it lias been a very cold sp -11 of weather over since his mother in-law has been visiting him, for each time lie left a litt le something in tho bot¬ tle for an eye-opener lie found that ow¬ ing to the ohl lady's kindness and eun niiig forethought lie had Ikhm “left” whenever lm went to look for it. Pass I lie pork and beans, dear mother. True, Fur I’m I had hungry tin it hog. Kitting a picnic ancient dinner, log. ou on But there Was Josenli P., dear mother, And t fain would have him think That I am of ethereal make-up, For, mamma, morsel he’s gut the chink ; So I only ate a Of a dainty frosted cake, Aud a peanut, and a raisin. Gave all solid grub tlie shake. Pile tlie provender around me, Fur I ’m furnishing, hy George ! Ain’t 1 hi;. Imm and helilisdelicious? Now f have a chance, Pit gorge ! “Are you prepared for death ? ” tho clergyman asked with a tremor of emo¬ tion in Iiis voice, us lie took tho sick woman's hand in iiis own. A shado of patient thought crossed tlie Invalid’s face, lielieve and by-and-by she said she didn’t she was ; there was the bedroom carpet to be taken up yet, ami the paint up-stairs had hardly been touched, and she didn’t want to put up new curtains in (lie (iining-rnoiu ; hut she thought if slie did not die until next Monday she would he alKiut its near ready ;ts a wom¬ an with a big family and mi girl ever ex¬ pected to be. A very fashionable lady, who fairly dotes on her children, and is very partic¬ ular about their toilets, had a narrow es¬ cape last Sunday from losing one of her darlings. It was leaning out of a third story window, when it lost its balanco, ami in a moment more it would havo been dashed to pieces ori the crowded pavement below. Fortunately the moth¬ er seized it just as it was disappearing over the window sill. Clasping the res¬ cued cherub to her breathless breast, tho fond mother exclaimed, as tears of grat¬ itude flowed from her uplifted eyes, “ If that child had fallen into the street witli Unit dirty dress on, I would never, never have forgiven myself.” And she proceeded to dress it up in style, so that, come be what might, the family would not disgraced. FMIA'JIK. f/Ong you Kaid to mo, ° Sweet, You A glorious UingMom hetoro. you lien/' You pointful it out to my willing ; li^htctl the way with your Joying vyvbo Many tim friutn|»hs the y ars havf* brought; K«*mi tlur ph asUH*, hut kuciifr tho pain. I slnntl i>y your i<}»- in tho realm of tlmuglit, Aiid I a>k myHi'JJ, ls it loas or gain ? You to rm> gont'Tnus merri of pm iso, You givf to mo ttifitor and trud, I know ; tint you think with regret of my simple My ways, unwirttloin fond of long ago. Though ! pout, with Dm wisdom of gods and nioit (This is ttir Uutt spoils my .sweet), I know fuH well that novor again f an I tii your pulse hy a dtigle beat. You aro not to blame. There is r,ought to bo said ; Dv< r by fate is our planning crossed, I did tho bust that I could, love-led, Yor th f - • U‘3 of svinaiug what f liave, lost. C HA fi 1.017 YfcUllY.