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How Plants Eat, 'love and Sleep.
In a work entitled “ Movements of
Plants,” Mr. Charles investigations Darwin gives into tho
results of his latest
the question of botanic life. These re
seorches are of a nature which cannot
fail to excite general interest, while they
will he “ like an eagle in a dove-cot ” to
thoso who cling to the venerable belief
in a distinct line of demarcation between
the animal and vegetable kingdoms.
Speaking from careful experiment, the
author tells us how plants exhibit many
of the characteristics of animal nature.
They sleep, they have move, appetites, they are very
sensitive, they they are
carnivorous, and they have radicles
which by tlieir sensibility and their ef¬
fect upon other parts of the plant lower act a
part similar to to that of brain in
animals. We are told that a leaf of a
•carnivorous plant which has been mo¬
tionless for hours will instantly delicate curve on
being touched in a most beef. Iu observ¬ man¬
ner with a piece of raw certain plants,
ing the sleeping habits ingenious of contriv¬
Mr. Darwin, by an
ance, held down the leaves which other¬
wise would have returned to a vertical
or sleeping position at night. The re¬
sult was that those leaves were frost¬
bitten in a temperature which had no
suc-h effect on the leaves that were al¬
lowed freedom to sleep. Mr. Darwin
thence concludes that the sleeping of
the plant is to it a “ question of life and
■death,” the vertical position of tho
leaves at night protecting it from inju¬
rious effects of radiation and cold. Not
less instructive and suggestive are the
researches into the effects of light upon
■certain forms of vegetation. Instances
are given of the wonderful sensitiveness
of some plants to light. The seedlings
•of the Phaearis canariensis. for exam¬
ple, are said to have a power of detect¬
ing differences iu light which are inap¬
preciable by the human eye, while they
Sympathetically turn to the minutest
point of light. Nor is the constant mo¬
tion of plants confined to any special
state of germination, for we learn that
from year to year since the tree first be
,gan to rise through tho ground the small tip
of each rootlet endeavors to sweep
ellipses or circles, as far as the surround¬
ing earth permits. Alt this would seem
to show that when we speak and “drinking of flowers
“peeping, ’’ it smiling, something than
dew," we poetical express metaphor. more
a more
Meat for the Poor.
It will perhaps surprise some agricultural people
to hear that there are still
villages where the laborers do not taste
“a bite of butcher’s meat” from ono
year’s end to another. One such village
10 High Koding, in Essex, if one may
judge from an interesting letter in last
week’s Guardian. It is commonly been sup¬
posed that by the time beef-tea has
made out of a piece of meat all tho
“goodness” has gone, and the residue is
generally sold by the London hospitals
at a ridiculously low price to feed pigs.
In fact, however, the extraction of the
beef-tea onlyremoves such of the “good¬
ness” as is soluable in water, and the
cesidue, although “insipid and not
remarkably digestible,” is still “really
nutritious.” Most people, by the way,
y, ^vcRbaEny ^ra* in -_u . -■■—-. shape -Q- of of - \ the 1,0
T ind to their cost the
: oouilii, which is a standing dish at small
French inns. However, this residue of
beef is highly appreciated down in Essex,
and the first of the laborers who tasted
it exclaimed: “Ah, if I had some of this
every day it would make a new man of
me.” The vicar has now obtained large
consignments of it from some of the
hospitals, and it is eagerly bought by
villages at a price sufficient to of repay
the prime charge and the of cost agricul¬ car¬
riage. What proportion our
tural population, one wonders, would bo
a quallvgladto get this husk of meat
which has hitherto been feeding the
pigs ?—Pall Mall Gazette.
An Old Fropheey.
In 1712, Mr. Wliiston, an eccentric
Milloaariau divine and astronomer, who
gerved as deputy to Sir Isaac Newton,
when Professor of Mathematics at Cam
bridge, predicted that a comet would
appear at noon the world on Wednesday, Oct. 14 ,
and that would be destroyed
by fire on tho following Friday. The
comet came, and had an extraordinary
effect. More than 100 clergymen were
reported to have waited o:i the primate
on the Wednesday afternoon to request
that proper prayers might lie prepared,
■while thousands of men, who believed
that the end of the world was coming,
married on the Thursday the women
with whom they had been living. Many
people thc-v embarked would be on the safer water, when thinking the
that fire
cubic, and Sir Gilbert Heathcote, Chief
Director of the Bank of England, issued
instractions to the fire officers to keep a
sharp lookout on the Bank of England,
on which there was a prodigious run,
presmn; >iy by those who thought that,
albeit they might brought nothing into the
world, they he able to take some
thirig out. The Captain of a Dutch ship
in the Thames threw all his powder into
the river. Wliiston is only remembered
pow by liis translation of Josephus.
Commercial ( curtesy.
There are some merchants who regard
drummers as a nuisance, if they and reins* to
talk to them, or say anything at
all, it is only posted a request to look at a con
coffin, spicuouriv with the picture legend of underneath, a man iu a
“This mau was talked to death by a
drummer ” But old Twopereent, whose
place of business is on Galveston avenue,
is not- that kind of a merchant prince,
A New York drummer was passing his
place of business, when he called him
across the street and asked to look at his
samples. The drummer could hardly
believe his senses. He hr. J never been
treated that way before in Texas. It
was hardly a minute before In- Li-.d his
samples spread out in anticipation of a
$5,000 order. Old Twopereent got the
very bottom price of everything in his
line, but when the New York drummer
asked him if he didn’t want to order
gome of the goods the reply was :
“ Not mooch. You do not sh >.posc
'
dot is vot I called vou in for?”
“ What did you call me in for, then?”
-asked the drummer.
“ I onlv wanted to see vot your ngg rs
-inff’mv Vos so ash to find out if I vas not s-11
own goods ^ too low,”_ Gali-enton
iYeiu®
Familiar Quotations.
The expression “a dim religious
light” may be found i» Milton’s “ Pen
seroso,” and the commonly-repeated saw
that “absence makes the heart grow
fonder” is to be discovered in T. H.
Bayley’s Coiley song, “Isle of Beauty.” is
Cibber, as almost everyone
aware, took it into his head that he
could greatly improve upon Shakspearo’s
tragedy “ King Richard HI.;” and, in
pursuance of this idea, lie made various
additions to the play, many of which
have, curiously enough, entered, as it
were, into the language. Among these
we ham;” may notice, “ So much for again,” Bucking- and
“ Richard’s himself
fray';” “ Mv soul’s in arms aud eager for the
hut, in spite of them, Mr. Cib
ber’s tinkering, though gratefully
adopted by more than one great actor,
has now fallen into well-merited disre
pnte. In criticising hostile Lord Beacousfleld’s
speeches, papers arc fond of
making eration’s effective artful aid,” reference hut to “ apt allit- if
Churchill,‘the they seldom,
indeed ever, allow satirist,
any credit for the phrase. Mr. O'Con
nor too If wo remember Conservatfvo richtlv has
written of the gay states
man as “ the persons gay Lothario of politics.”
How- many we wonder, recol
lect that the original “gay Lothario” is
one of the characters in Rowe’s tragedy,
“ Tho Penitent ?” Then, again, the
phrase “comparisons are odious” is
almost invariably written without quo
“a-sfc'f* “Stomf^f tSy’’ and ^ also
gs» last not classical English—a quite
was
sufficient proof that even he whom Ben
Jonson called “ sweet swan of Avon” is
not as well known as he ought midnight to he.
The origin of the term “the
oil” is hard to trace, but it occurs in
Quarles, in Shenstono invented and by in Gay, and
it was probably the first.
“Devil take the hindermost” opens up
another difficult Fletcher problem ; but claim perhaps
Beaumont and may the
phrase, which was used in later days by
Butler, Prior, Pope, Burns and half a
dozen more.' “ Diamond cut diamond ”
is traceable to Ford’s "Lover’s Melan¬
choly,” where it may lie found in the
form “diamonds cut diamonds,” and
the expression, “ neither fish nor flesh
nor good red herring” seems to belong
to Sir II. Sheers. “Turnover a new
leaf” says Middleton, in “Anything for
a Quiet Life,” aud it was Mrs. Mala
prop, in Sheridan’s “The Rivals,” who
first owned “the soft impeachment.”
Oliver Goldsmith, in “The Good-na¬
tured Man,” wrote “measures, mark;” not men, and
have always been my
Burke, doubtless alluding to the popu¬
larity of the phrase in his day, spoke of
“the cant of ‘not men, but measures.’ ”
To Milton we owe the saying that
Peace bath her victories
No lens renowned than war;
and it was Goldsmith- again who, in
“She Stoops to Conquer,” introduced,
us to “the very pink of perfection.”—I
London Queen.
now Sam Houston Was Admitted to the
Bar.
character Bowyer Miller, a man of admirable
and education, when he had
concluded Lis legal studies decided to
establish himself in Tennessee. It was
soon after the war of 1812-14, says a cor¬
respondent of the New Orleans Picat/unc,
and, in visiting tho Circuit Judges to
obtain tlieir certificate of professional
qualification, he fell in with Sam Hous¬
ton, fresh from the campaigns of Ala¬
bama and elsewhere in the Gulf Staten,
in which he had accompanied Gen. Jack
son, and who had determined to adopt
the profession of law. The young men
were at once confidential, and Houston
frankly ficiencies avowed his own educational de¬
and limited opportunity of
qualifying been for himself, occupied as lie had
the few years preceding in tlie
excitements of the war.
“Miller,” said ho, “ I shall tell tlw
Judges that they nerdn’t expect much
learning ined from me. We shall he rxfim
at the same time. If a question of
difficulty it. is Leave asked, don’t ho bashful; nn
swer those that are more
easy to me. I am not at all jealous.”
Miller, who was well qualified, was
his amused, and promised to do any thing in
power to aid him.
Judge, Arriving at the residence of the first
this agreement was kept up.
Houston invariably introduced tuc c-x
animation by a narrative of something
connected with the war, and with a jocn
h‘ r admission of his own difficulties in
pursn having ug his legal theories. A question
been asked upon the abstruse
common-law doctrine of executory de
crees and contingent remainders, Mr.
Miller modestly repeated the exposition
of his authorities, and the Judge ampli
fe d tho reply with remarks upon tile
channel of judicial decisions,
We are not to suppose that the exani
illations were very technical or si net.
At Houston, a succeeding in examination, however,
the a reply to a question upon
same subject, took up the reply and
repeated tho information that he had ac
quiied. and, when they called on the last
Judge, Houston observed that the two
preceding examinations must have been
satisfactory, signature and and Judge White gave his
made the young " man stay
all night. '
Within two years from that time,
Houston had been elected eitlic-r as State
or District Attorney, while Miller, dis
couraged at the ] rasped of professional
success, returned to Virginia.
_
—A Philadelphia fash-dealer , , , recently il
departed for a railroad station a tew
on * *° Bun day wita some
friends. After the cars had Rturtcd he
fount, on looking at his ie.tr i ticket
mat “iu consideration of reui ce l rates,
cte-, Lie ticket was good until the qav
following ; so on his return ou .Monday |
jte ha*i to bay another beset to come
home on. A day or so afterward a ie au
mg oni. cr of the company bougut a
couple of early shad of him. they were
delivered, and on opening the bundle
was found a card stating that “in consul
eration of the low price charged the j
shad would not bo good after two ;
hours.” The fi-ih had to be thrown
away and that officer has been in a
brown study ever since.
How She Kept the Secret.
There are several people living in
Tarry town, \. Y., who remember the
captors of Andre. A rather diverting
incident connected with his capture is
related by a New York „ , paper, showing old ,
the excitable temper of those war
times. Every movement was c it ,
and news traveled too slowly to be kept
long after it was received,
Mrs. Sec, an old woman living on the
Bedford road, about two miles fro n le
Tarrytown depot, tells a picturesque
talei of! events succeeding t le cap me i.
Maj. Andre, as it was to.d hei >y the
participants, The led “ Skinners”—who
men—e: .
captured Andre went directly to Mug
Tavern near White Plains—a hostelry
presided over by Aunt l oUy Reed. Aunt
Polly was notorious for her cunosi y.v
inability to keep a secret,
While the ham and eggs were sizz i g
hi , the pan for the hungry > -t ‘ :
Aunt Polly was of sliugg.iug the o as <•
the identity handsomely mc .i.uo j clothed )u g
Granger, who was so
in 11 hhm oveicoa , e ae -tu ’
and nankeen waistcoat and breeches,
Finally Paulding seized her by the wrist
“‘d drew her close to him.
^ ltb .^stommifroftlie' ■ old woman,
with . hardly supprcssoi British <.. 0 i .
1‘ ™ g«t “ tin si y
In three minims oa 1 ' .
,
^Xdher . whUe^mrse,
and was galtop’
in* off to them xr louse iu a iflacotherj
As they np
h^rselt.ftnd Her ham streamed on ‘‘V,. , • *\ r * ' i
hand she swung i i g 1 *) - .
Fj the strings, wl •*
slnnll quavering voioe
“They ve got the spy ! They ve got
“ 1C •
A Tenor’s Wife.
The following, from the French, gives
a comical description of the miseries of
a tenor’s wife :
“Yes, Jenny, we have 150,000 francs
a year; llie praises of my husband are
sounded every day in the newspapers, ho¬
is applauded king every his night he sings, and is
a very in art. But you don’t
know wliat it is to be the wife of a tenor.
Those who flatter my husband, and they
him, are numerous, Monsieur Michael, are incessantly telling
you have a mine
of diamonds in your throat. That may
be true ; I don’t say it is not, but if you
could understand what consequences it
entails—a mine of diamonds in a man’s
throat, Michael is always as cross as a
hear because of Iho temperature. A bar¬
ometer is less variable. He is con¬
tinually opening and shutting the win¬
dows; when they are Open he wants
them shut, and when they arc shut he
says he stifles. You have no idea of the
trouble we have at hotels to preveut his
taking cold. Even the style of carpet
becomes a study. And (ho cartloads of
,'urs we carry about with us. And the
difficulty we have with the fires, There
is also a long chapter as to what he may
aud mav not rat; this is too jtn.ng and
that too weak. On the night he sings,
there is a sirup which lie must drink
five times during an act, and a wash of
brandy and camphor with which to
rub his throat. From morning till night
a tenor thinks of nothing but himself;
lie listens to himself sing; he studies
poses before a looking-glass ; the he calls
after the servants, ‘Jane, muffle door¬
bell ; its noise affects my nerves. Brig
gitte, don’t pass before me again; you
make a draught.’ He interrogates la, la, his la.
throat every ten minutes,
Never a sensible word, always la, la, la ;
at table he does not talk for fear of de¬
stroying his ia, 1 b, la. If I ask him to
take in® out ou a fine day, he runs to I ' i
piano and exercises hi; In, la, la.”
The Slip, tlie Cop anil Li,>.
The Boston Transcript retells the
origin of the rhyming old saw:
“There’s many n »lij»
’Twoen thecujtand the lip.”
Bome of our subscribers who have, studied
Greek may have seen tlie account in the
Greek Renders:
A King when of Thrace had planted whom a vine
ynrd, one of his slaves, work, he
had much oppressed in that very
prophesied the wine produced that he should in it. never The monarch taste of
disregarded the prediction, and when at
an entertainment, he held a glassful of
his own wiue made from tlie grapes of
that vineyard, lie sent for the slave and
asked him wlmt he thought of his pro¬
phecy now. To which the other replied:
“Many the things lip,” fall out between the cup
and and had scarcely delivered
this singular response before the news
was brought that a monstrous hoar was
laying Thinking wajte the favorite vineyard.
in a rage, ho put down the cup
which he hold in liis hands and hurried
ont with hi- people to attack the l;oar;
but being too eager, the hoar rushed
upon him t.nd killed him without him
having taste! of the wine.
a woman’s v: it.
A woman’s advice is generally worth
having; so, if you are in any trouble,
tell your mother, or your wife, or your
sister all about it. Be assured that
light will flash upon your darkness,
Women are too commonly judged
verdant in all hut purely womanish uf
fetes. thus No philosophical students of the
sex judge them. Their intuitions,
or insights, are the most subtle, and, if
they cannot see a cat in the im-ai, then
is no cat there. I advise a man to kf -p
none of lii'affairs a secret from his wife.
Many»A hr' fortune has been nappily saved,
arid a retrieved by a man’s
f„u confidence in his wife. Woman is
j ar morc a w . ; . r anc j a prophet than
mal? jf 6 ] ie given a fair chance. As
a g,, nera ] n,]^ the wives confide the
minutest of tlieir plans and thoughts to
husbands. Why not reciprocate,
-'f but for the pleasure of meeting con
fidence with confidence? The men who
8UCce(M j in life are thoso who make
confidants of their wives. — Week Ip
indemndent
Fast 'Inlkcr*.
When Gambetta delivers a speech he
pronounces 230 to 240 words a minute.
ordinary ISO speaker in pronounces Lord only
about words the same time
Macaulay used to pronounce 330 word»
in a ininnte.
HUMORS OF HU: DAY.
(ftfn mCTI whose lap./' .vent coughin’. the wrong
way said he iiad an ale . his
Women’s hearts aniL.-iolins art; very
ranch either alike. It takes ifbeau to play on
of them.
Job had patience, h i (hen Job never
tried to back a carrin-e into a narrow
shed on a dark night.
An exchange says: ‘‘The butchers of
Baltimore are very hnidsome." That is
when they are dressed to kill.
We would like to iq lire if tho man
who sat with bated brfiith got a bite? If
so the plan might be once adopt ed by
our ignoble army of tramps.
A new book is out :i titled “Links in
Rebecca’s Life.” B* daughter. -ecca was probably
n sausage maker’s What an
eventful and myateruus life she must
have led!
“I fresume you understand my busi¬
ness,” said the ceniov wijji taker to the acro¬
bat. “I merely to know your oc¬
cupation." “Oh, y\>, I tumble,” replied
the acrobat.
On the order slat on the door of a
carpenter shop in jibs city a following: passing
pedestrian discos' fl tho
“Cum to —’s Lie ! store a Dore to
lies .”—Jiocftcah r V ’mid.
Senior asks Profosp.® pr«- ?, a very profound
question. -“Mr. W--, a
fool can ask a qu<\ > that ten wise men
could not answd'. Senior—“Then 1
suppose that’s why so many of us flunk.”
Extract from yci <> letter from Angelina:
“Dear Henry, ask if I return your
love. iiud Yes, it Hein|, willnnany 1 have thanks. no use By-by, for it.,
return
I ienry. ”— Boston* Transcript.
An impertinent top inane; fun of an old
farmer’s large not.-, mouth and chin, but
the old farmer s lanced him by saying, be
“Your nose, mouth an’ chin all had to
made small so ’hi there’ d be material lott
for your cheek. 'A
“ Mother,” arid a little girl, who doll, was
engaged in making an apron for her
“1 believe J wii be a duchess when I
grow up.” “ H*w do you expect h > be
come a duche c * *\y daughter?'’ he “Why, sure!”
by marrying a tteliman, to
replied the, littb feirl.
A Sweet Thing in Girls.
There is an a common among young
girls which oiuht to be combatted by
coming . very intelligelt hour/ woman; and it is especially that in be¬ if
a keeper, the
called upon to! do the greater part of
wo»k, slio mig. i 'just as well ho unedu¬
cated; that h«,r acquirements nt school,
if not uufittins; her for it, are of no value.
If this were true it would indeed he lam¬
entable; hut it is not true; because wo
eon point to sotable instances of edu¬
cated women vho are untidy and disor¬
derly is no pr* of of the proposition. Bo
far as my own' observation goes—and I
have kept in. eye- open for several years
—I have fon id that thoso women who
have had the bent tit of a thorough edu¬
cation are tile besY housekeepers, A
woman whoirns been taught accuracy by
a course in chemistry, who has had hoi
eyes enlightened by the study learned and prac¬ tho
tice of painting, who has
necessity of j icision by long hours at
the piano, vakc her house the richer
and the bet' i ‘ l V red for this training.
sne’ift H she hr ^ t work the -oil right spirit she
(’ ud trviaeft* 11 1 at,
bus evei a besides having the aid
which her I s of order and persever
ance ing houses will coi intly give her. be The corn- hap¬
e. ye r ought to a very
py woman; she will have so much to
think about when her hands are full of
work which does not demand much di¬
rection. Who will not be disturbed about
so many thipgs os her mother was; moths
and beetles Will mean more to her than
to the old-lime housekeeper, to whom
everything that crawled or flew was a
“hug,” an object of detestation to he
stepped on or put into the stove ns
quickly as possible. Our modern wise
woman her knows bottle better; she quietly brings
out of benzine or ether, a
pasteboard box, captures the insect, puts
him to sleep, and soon lias a collection
which, when mounted and put in a
simple for home. frame, is a handsome ornament
her If it was ever true that
a little learning is a dangerous thing for
a woman, that day lias passed .—The
IlouteHeeper.
Fishing in Lapland.
The water is very clear atHamerfest,
in Lapland; you may see everything
that goes on among the fish. A few feet
down you may see the young cod snap¬
ping at your hooks, if you lmve one; a
little lower down the codfish, and the
huge plaice and the halibut on the white
sand at the bottom; in other places the
starfish, as large as a plate, and purple
and green shellfish of all sizes. The
plaice is taken in the following man¬
ner: In calm weather the fisherman
takes a strong, fine cord, to which he has
fastened a heavy spear-head, like a whale
harpoon. This he holds ready over tin
how of the-boat, while another person
paddles it forward slowly. When the
fish is seen at the bottom the boat is
stopped and the him, harpoon is suddenly
dropped upon hours end thus the fish is
caught In two the fishermen*
will get a boat-load. The halibut are
caught with hooks. They sometimes
weigh five hundred pounds, and if drawn
iqi carelessly will overturn the boat, in
many of the mountainous districts the
rivers swarm, with trout, the habit of
which is to conceal themselves beneath
the bowlder rocks in the bed of the
stream, venturing Men, each out to feed only at
night with a heavy hammer,
will enter these waters and strike one or
two blows on the stones, when the fish
run from their lurking place partly
stunned and aie easily caught.— St a
World.
A Judicious M ire.
ttens She keeps him in shape 1* com
si" :™. j .
If yon declare that you will do some a
surd thing, she will find some means of
preventing you from doing it And by
far the chief part of all fhc common
sense there is m this world belongs un
questionably to women. The wisest
things a man commonly does are those
which lue wife counsels him to do. A
If the Prohibitionists ever come into
power they will coni scato all the spigots
with the remark ‘ To the victors belong
the Bi>ilet».”
The Great Gaul.
Tho history of France, indeed, of all
nations, is a re ord of its great men.
Apart from tho revolution whenever
France has attracted tho attention of
the world, it was when she was ruled by
a Charlemagne, a Henri Quatre, a Rich¬
elieu, a Louis Quatorso, a Napoleon, or
a Thiers. Gambetta, in recent years,
was by all odds the foremost man in his
country, yet he was not in office, but it
wns understood that whenever the effort
was to be mado to recover Alsace and
Lorraine, he would be installed into
power to lead France and her allies
against the hated Germans. But he has
passed away in the very prime of life,
and for the moment tho French people
have no great lender whose flag they can
follow. There is a mystery about the
death of Gambetta. At any rate the
affair is surrounded by a mystery which
is which unaccountable attends in the view domestic of the publicity doings
even
of the foremost people of our times.
The death of Gambetta would seem to
insure the peace of Europe for this year
at lenst. Russia would doubtless like to
attack Austria and seize Constantinople
if Franco wore ready to co-operate with
her, but the French people have shown
themselves very prudent while Gambetta
lived, and his death will induce even
greater caution. There is no one now
to commence a war, tlio unless, indeed, A us
tria should take initiative, hacked
by' Germany. But Kaiser William is
now very old, and Bismarck, the man of
“blood aud iron,” feels the infirmities
of age; and neither are likely to begin
a war, standing ns they do on tho very
verge of the grave. But the war must
come. There Beeins to bo no way of
settling tho Eastern question, and the
relations of Russia,Germany, and France
to tho rest of Europe, without an appeal
to the dread arbitrament of the sword.
It will be a fearful and destructive con¬
flict wlion it occurs, but its beginning
may be postponed beyond the limits of
the present year.— lirmweat' a Monthly.
Macmihiy's Memory.
Ben Jouson won from his admiring
contemporaries the epithet aright, of from “rare”— his
chiefly, if I remember
powers of memory. But Ben’s powers
were small compared with those of Ma¬
caulay, who recited the greater part of
the Lay of the Last Minstrel after read¬
ing it for tho first time. Ho used to say,
and ho was by no means n boastful man,
that, if by any ohaneo, all the existing
copies of Milton were to l»e the destroyed, first six
he thought ha could replace from
books of Paradise Lost memory.
“Ho seemed,” said bis friend Milman,
“to have read everything; had read.” and I have to remem¬
ber all that lie seen ft
letter of the late Sir William Stirling
Maxwell to a friend, entreating him to
ask “Mr. Macaulay, who knows every¬
thing” for some piece of information.
“Macaulay,” said Sydney Smith," can
you recite tho list of Popes?”
“ No,” confessed Macaulay, “I get
confused with tho Johns and Gregories.”
" Well,” said Hallam, who was pres¬
ent, “can you manage the Archbishops
of Canterbury?” Archbishops of Canterbury!”
“The
was the disdainful reply, of “any fool can
recite his Archbishops Canterbury
-back wards.'V Hinvley back to
And he began, from
Polo, when his hearers declared them¬
selves satisfied.
A Colored Beau Itriiuimel.
There, was a ball the. other night that
was attended by the elite of the colored
aristocracy of Galveston. Jim Webster,
who is of very light complexion, and
rutin r proud the of it, was there. He mvit
ed one of colored ladies, who is
blacker than the ace of spades, to dunce,
but she put ou immense airs because he
didn’t wear gloves, fearing he might soil
her dress with his hands.
“ Look heali, Bukey,’’ said Jim, “ef
yev didn’t wash yerself fore you corned
here I don’t want, to swing corners wid
you, nohow. I don’t want to Lull ter
use a seruhhiu’ brush oil my bans cbery
time I slings one oh dese black heifers
around.”
"Is dot so,” asked a Galveston bank¬
rupt of a friend, “dot Schuimh imeycr
hash failed in pishnens*” The reply was
in the negative, whereat the bankrupt
said enthusiastically: “i am tiun glad
Bchwindelmeyer vush an honest man;
den der vasli too mooch competition al¬
ready is dish bankrupt pishness?”— Gal¬
veston News.
An Irishman knows how to pay a com
pliment, hut lie does beautiful net always put lady it in
the right place. A young
happened to shudder, and afterward said,
referring to the old adage, “Borne one
is walking over my grave.” Patrick
could not lose the chance to say some
thing very polite, and so he replied:
“Oh, my lady, 1 only wisli that I were
the happy man!”
A fashionable lady was unexpectedly
left without a servant. She undertook
to make her husband a cup of coffee, but
it took so long he asked v,hat in the
Halifax was the matter with the coffee.
“I don't know,” she said, bursting into
tears; “I’ve boiled these beans for :< full
hour, and they are no soft them -r now in than
they were when I first put iiic
pot. ”— Galveston News.
Bome time since a car used to go from
Wicklow to Dublin, and as briskly the mar under was
found to travel much more
the influence of a glass of whisky the
habitual travelers subscrib' d to supply
her w ith this stimulant. Traveler “Fat.
the mare won’t go at all to-day. te n
rogue, you did not give her the drop.
Driver “Well, your honor, I’ll tell no
lie. It was an awful oowhl momin’ and
I wanted a drop oneself as hud us her, so
we tossed for it aud sure J won the tors.’
«»?&SaUS^WC n',h
s
, viu(1 of tll0 flight, and iisr, was It! II in .
* The race was long and ex
, mt anor , th „ })II .sband ^ught - .
pre8 1 ,. Ilt cd a pi ted at the t-i ~ a
- .. y„ u mav ]„.,,,. vour wife, £
sai(] the abject Belknap. '
r( , I(lka \ fr fjr.-n. !
t j V( . c h aS ed after her? < !
But i’ll take the dollar and a half 1 I
Las in her pock it. ” The money as
up, aud the elopou
out according to the programme.
USEFUL HINTS.
A very warm bed-quilt may be im¬
provised try pinning newspapers between
two sheets.
Those who ought to know say that
poultry thrives upon cooked food, ancl
like their corn boiled.
Ilo not keep rubber shoos or sandals
on the feet longer than necessary. They
should never he worn in the house.
Fon soft corns dip a piece of linen
cloth in turpentine and wrap it around
the toe on which the corn is situated
night and morning. The relief will ha
immediate, and, after a few days, tha
corn will disappear.
Lip Salves. —One gill sweet oil, ona
ounce white wax, three-quarters of an
ounce spermaceti Dissolve them over
the fire and stir till cool. Another—■
Oil of sweet almonds, eight ounces;
white wax, three ounces; spermaceti,
three ounces ; rhodium, fifty drom, and
white sugar candy form an excellent lip
salve.
Ants. —Red ants may lie banished
from a pantry or store-room by strewing
the shelves with a small quantity of
cloves, former, either whole being or ground. Wo
use the as not so likely to
get into the food placed upon the shelves.
The cloves should be renewed occasion¬
ally, ns after a time they lose their
strength and efficacy.
Mosquitoes, says somebody, love beef
blood hotter than they do any that flows
in the veins of human kind. Just put a
couple bed of generous night, pieces on plates near
your at. and you will sleep
untroubled by these pests. In the
morning you will find them full and
stupid with the beef blood, and the
meat sucked as d~y as a cork.
(Sta ins.— Remove ink-stains from car¬
pets with milk, and afterward wash
with fine soap, a clean brush, and warm
water. For grease spots use powdered
magnesia, fuller’s earth, or buckwheat.
Hprinkle all the on the is spot, absorbed; and lot lie until tho
grease buckwheat renew
earth, magnesia or until nil
the grease is removed. Time and pa¬
tience will in this way remove tho worst
of grease spots.
To Detect Genuine Coffee.— Those
foolish persons who buy ground
coffee may find out whether
what they buy is genuine method cof¬
fee or not wine by glass the following tumbler full :
Take a or a of
water, ground and coffee gently drop the a surface pinch of of the tho
on
water, without stirring or agitating;
genuine coffee will float for some time,
whilst chicory, sink or and chicory other sweet caramel root,
will soon ; and or
will cause a yellowish or brown color
to diffuse rapidly through tho water,
while pure coffee will give no visible
tint, under such circumstances, for a
considerable length of time.
Starch Pomsii.—The old receipt of
stirring the starch witli a hit of wax
candle is not nearly so good,in tho opin¬
ion of an ex|>ericnced laundress, as a
much cheaper plan. She uses mutton
suet instead of wax ; it makes the starch
firmer. Before roasting or boiling yonr
joint of mutton, cut off whatever suet
you want from it. “ Bonder ” it in a tin
cup and set it aside in a jar; it wilt
keep six mouths or longer. The fat
about the kidney in a hind quarter is
the firmest and best. When you want
thick starch for collars and shu t bosoms,
take four table-spoonfuls of starch to ona
quart of water, and a piece of the clear
suet about the size of a walnut. Tho*
makes a good quart of starch.
The Door was ,Slmt.
Sierras Stage drivers among the Rockies aud
learn to he as peremptory an
they are daring, anil probably from tho
same orders necessity. They will have their
obeyed. We passengers were
exceedingly which annoyed by the persistence
with young Foss (the driver) de¬
manded that the stage doors ho kept
closed, particularly wiien their being
opened tion air. caused an appreciable circula¬
of
Just as we were rounding a particu¬
larly narrow turn in the face of the cliff'.
Foss noticed that the inside door was
again being brakes held ajar. Promptly put¬
ting ou the aud bring his horses
to a halt, he descended.
“Do you see that rock?” lie said,
pointing barely to a huge boulder ahead that
left room for the stage to pass.
“Wliat of it?”
“Only this, fjftst season a stage was
passing that rock when somebody open
ed the door. The door caught cu tho
re:k, the and as it opened further, just
priod whole business over the cliff,
That little speck way down there is one
of the hind wheels caught on a tree,
Now trill von keep that door shut?”
It took Half an hour to get that door
opened when we got to Calistoga, every
individual on board having separately
tied it shut with his handkerchief ,—Lars
Francium Post.
The Efficacy of a Trade Dollar.
An Italian woman from River Street,
with an unpronounceable name, while
engaged in gathering up cigar butts iu
ilroad Street, near the final, this morn¬
ing, was knocked down by a passing
wagon. She was carried into Garrigan’a
ding store unconscious. A hasty exam¬
ination was made, and it was found that
no bones were broken. The police am¬
bulance was telephoned tor, as it was
feared there might be internal injuries
or concussion of the brain. Before tho
ambulance could arrive, the driver of tho
vehicle which caused the accident, who
iiad been standing by and expressing his
sorrow at wlmt was an unavoidable acci¬
dent, produced a trade dollar. Instantly
Ibe woman’s consciousness returned.
She clutched the coin, vaulted over two
clerks who stood in front of her, shouted
'Thanks, boss ; nomuchahurts ; goods!
goods ! no minda ran over !” rushed to
the door, caught down up her bag, ran across
Broad Street, Canal to River
i- lreet, and was home before the aston¬
ished clerks could fairly realize what
had happened .—Newark ( N. J.) Adver¬
tiser.
—The floral contributions sent by Mr.
Morton, the American Minister to
France, for tire Gambetta American obsequies,
was iu the form of an flag, the
union formed of violets, the red stars of tube
r< and the stripes of and whit®
rose-buds.
