Newspaper Page Text
Till CmMtH Democrat.
CRAWFORDVILLE - - GEORGIA.
GENERAL NEW 8.
Tboaooo will be cultivated in the cot¬
ton licit of Florida.
Tire orange, crop* of Florida are now
worth ovei one anil one half million* of
dollars,
Ralletoh, North Carolina, has thir¬
teen factories and mills.
Thk Richmond Va., Grain elevator,
Which hi,Ids 300,000 bushels is now full.
A short sugar crop is predicted in
owing j,to an insufficiency of
ran.
Fix** has CEO fat tcrifs, vnk.jf 2,
48 bands,'with a capital invested cf $),
•07,030.
Thk shores along Mobile bay, on both
aides am boooining lined with orange
groves.
Hr. Aooowink, Fla., pays 12j cents a
barrel for oyster shells to improve her
roads.
The numlier of homesteads entered in
Mississippi since tho passage of the law
in 1862, is 13,880.
Thk banana trees aliout Madison Fla.
are nearly all bearing large, fine bunch
os of fruit till* year.
Tint cigar business is greatly extend¬
ing in Key West, Fla. It is carried on
mtnily by Gubanp.
J. d. Wood, who keop» a hotel at Brin
tol is stud to lie the fattest man in Vir
ia. Ho weighs 500 pounds.
A work similar to tho army worm is
making terrible havoc with the pea crop
ia portions of West Tennessee.
Many portions of West Tennesio are
suffering with a dry-sjielJ. Nearly all the
grass destroyed and water for stock get¬
ting scarce.
A vakiwtv of cotton known us the Beu
ogarnbia i* attracting considerable atten¬
tion in somo quarters of Alabama. It is
said to turn out ft pound to fifty twills.
Soutukkn farmers hftvo been experi¬
menting with piniutoes us food for cows
with very satisfactory results, and they
consider it an 'almolute preventative of
cholera.
Thk jHinunt crop in Virginia, noenrding
to the latest nqiorts, is ft great failure.
It’is lielievod that owing to drouth not
much more than one fourth of a crop
will lie made.
J* Texan eoltired anil white 'people are
to ride in separate coaches, lint they are
to lie equal in quality. That is how the
Lone Star state manages the social prob
T#o tw«aty-fivtvyei»r-old orangs trees
near Tampa, Fla., one measures ton
iuohsa abuse the foot, fifty-three inches
in eirouniferenoe, and the other fifty-olitv
inch oh.
New Orleans Times-Demoemt ex
pruwwi the opinion that the cotton crop
•f 1888-M i« owned by the producers,
and will leave more surplus money in thy
country than any cotton crop of recent
year*.
An ttncomnioB stalk of oottou wes ex¬
hibited in Natchez recently. It was sev
««i foet high, with long close branches,
all of which won' filled with IkjIIh.
These numbered over 250, Tt was raised
by Alien Carjienter,
Anothkk item bus been added te Ala
tMima's rich and lmundloBS resource*.
l*rof. Smith, state geologist, while prott
peeting iti aou tli west Alabama last wt>ok
tomitlfa tine flow of petroleum on the Tom
liiglieo.
Thk Mftiksvillo Bulletin, Louisiana,
t«Us of a stalk ot oottou from iiucklund
plantations, Rod river, the prnjierty of
tint clerk of court, which contained 330
1 tolls and forms, tho majority of the Inills
having live “looks
Os the farm Ot Mr. It. C Mnddon,
near Williamsvillo, in Pike County,
Georgia, is probably tiie hugest grape
ufr in the unity. ft is, eighteen
Tears old, thirty fbur inches in circum¬
ference at the base and is n quarter of a
mile long.
Ornv.hm. Withers, the Kentucky
home raiser, says that the beat stock
follows the limestone rather than toe
day and zandstone formation*. It forma
* perjietuai tertilizer for the land ai'-d
grit* out a pasturage upon which is
knit to and firm muscular tissue.
Wrw half ft young man become* his impatieut who
waiting an hour for girl,
left the room with the remark that *h(
would “l»e ready in two minntes,” he
should uot manifest his uneasiness, but
lot his mind revert to the stock of pa¬
tience exhibited by the physician who
counted tho holes or cells in the human
lungs wn) discovered that the whole
number was 174,000,000.—AWrisfoirn
Herald.
Poors'* wife remarked to him, as they
starved out the other night to take sup¬
per with the Browns, have that stunning she expected coiffure.
Mr*. B. would a
“Well, I ni sure I hope so,” grumbled
Foote, “I haven’t had anything good to
e*t since the last time we were at
mother’s ."—LotoeU Court*r.
Tine first i>tdk, we believe, was Yan¬
kee l)udle, who went to town upon a
little pony.
TENEMENT HOUSE LIFE.
PICT! KKS OF POVERTY AND DEtiltA.
RATION IN CROWDED IUHVUK Tb.
What a flail ta the Abode* ot tbe Poor sod
OeMitnte Revealed loan Inspector.
fFrom tbe New York World.]
The sun was streaming down in all its
wrath as a reporter and an officer of the
Sanitary Squad picked refuse-barrels their way among which
the children and
obstructed the sidewalks in Mulberry
street. Tho cool breeze which made
life tolerable in other parts of the city
was wanting there. The heat radiated
from the uneven flagstones and noisome
smells rose from stagnant pools. On
either side of the street towered the
high brick walls of the tenements within
which resided countless thousands of the
city’s poor, whose number defy the
census-taker.
Passing down Mulberry street, where side¬
It was evidently market-day, the
walk* and roadway were thronged with
bare-footed women and children scantily
and shabbily olad, who jostled each
other in their eagerness to get near the
various wagons and stands of hucksters.
Entering a dark, narrow alley on Mul¬
berry street, the reporter and his guide
emerged dozen into a court-yard.
A or more bright-faced, healthy
children were flying playing miniature there* tit One whioh of
them was a te
in its wildest ascent nevor rose two feet
above the surface of the ground. Four
old women were ensconced on benches
heedless of their surroundings, while
others were washing clothes in small
tubs, and a number of men sat on the
rickety steps and gazed lazily at the
visitors. The buildings were five stories
high and offered shelter to twenty fam¬
ilies.
ITALIAN HOMES.
The landing of the fire-escapes were
literally covered with iiedding, boxes
and refuse, which made egress almoet
impossible and would prove a fruitful
source of danger in case of fire.
On ascondlng the steps walk a small hall
was discovered whose s had been re
oently whitewashed and whioh had a
fairly clean and habitable appearance.
Each family has two rooms, the outer
serving for kitchen bed-oliamlier. and dining-room and
the inner for In these
two rooms are crowded from four to ton
persons when the family and "boarders”
are all at homo. At this season of the
year most of the male members of tho
household whose presence is not needed
for rag-picking are “in the country,"
which means that they are working on
railroads or tramping with their organs
and monkeys through the outside towns.
Further down the street were found
tho lowest class of Italian rag-pickers.
Tho odor which oamo from the out-houses
was something nauseating; remnants of
food were soattored about and the air
was recking with filth. When asked if
there had boon any deaths in the house
during the season, a lmy—the only one
who could speak English-said that all
hat! been well. On ascending dark,
narrow stairs the rooms were found to
be Still in a further very unhealthy down the condition. street two large
houses were visited, the appearance of
whioh was better than any in the quar¬
ter. The walls of the alley-way had
recently been whitewashed and the
[niido bore the marks of a Into renova¬
tion.
Progress through Baxter street was
slow. The shopkeepers, tho majority of
whom seemed to be Poles—and a filtliy
looking set they wme—displayed the their
merchandise on and above sidewalk
to such an extent that the pedestrians
proceeded with difficulty and discom¬
fort. Second-hand clothing and second¬
hand shoes are the staple goods in Bax¬
ter street.
POLISH HOMES,
One ot the worst houses in the dis¬
trict whioh was visited by the the reporter
was a five-story rookery where very
lowest dement* of Poles and Italians
herd together. Passing through an
alloy-way into a court-yard description. a soeno was
revealed which beggars
Congregated in that small iuclosure
boys, 1 ore at girls least and fifty infant*, people, men, ltagpiekers women,
were continually coming in with their
burdens, tho result of the morning’s
ltd air, which they gathered deposited from in the a looso
pilti previously tho One of the neighlioriug gut¬
ters of city. offering for sale
merchants was an arm¬
ful of old clothes winch should have
fonnd a fitting resting place on tho double heap
of rugs. An old woman, bent
with fish age, her had a which small basket she spread of decayed before
on arm
her customers. Pushing through the
miserable crowd and stumbling over
several infants on a dangerous stairway,
the officer led the way to the roof, which
wa* apparently the summer laid room of
tho community. In tho corners and
the sides’ were piles of straw and
rags, covered with vermin and breathing
forth disease and death in the noonday
heat.
On Park street stands one of the lof¬
tiest tenements in the vicinity, the front
being seven stories high and the rear
four stories. Underneath the front- por¬
tion, in the basement, wore found two
bar-rooms. There are over thirty fami¬
lies in the structure, principally Irish,
with a mixture of Italians, but the ap¬
pearance of the rooms betoken a general
care and neatness.
While walking along Mott street the
officer suddenly turned into a basement.
The reporter followed as manfully prevented a*
possible, though the darkness
life (Hieing more than six iucties before
IS
. ~nSl ooiirt „
reached.
CHINESE homks.
Upon „ opening . « door , made - -4 ^ P iam
deal boards a large room was seen,
which appeared to Iv a C hmose opium
den. A long bunk made of straw mat
ting extended nearly across one side of
the room, on wbdwh a white woman was
sleeping off the effect* of the drug. On
the opiHoite side was a double bunk of a
like nature, on the lower part of which a
Chinaman was drowsing. The proprie
tor. who was arrested not long ago for
keeping an opium joint, was likewise
asleep in a little alcove separated from
the main room by a sort of grating,
The reporter and life companion made a
Jour of inspection of the quarters and
left, without Pell awakening the inmates.
In street the officer opened a door
unceremoniously and ushered the re
porter into a Chinaman’s private apart
ments. A young American woman was
engaged in cooking at the stove, and her
protector was sitting on a short hunk
busy with his pipe. In response to a
question the woman said that she and
her swter lived with the Chmaman^ut
that she did not smoke.
On Cherry street were found the same
houses and the same evidences of misery
and degradation In one block which
extends back to Baxter, street are twc
immense houaesin better conditiont£an
the majority. The janitor s quarters are
m the courtyard, winch is large and well
kept A notice over the door forbade
b&ll-playmg and most of tbe amuse
menta winch ohildren seemed to eDjoy
with immunity in other places. The
rooms were generally neat and clean and
the inmates appeared to be thnftyv^ln
old woman whom the reporter addressed
said that there had been but one death
in the house in over a year.
In Leonard street something of the
lodging-house life of the denizens of fliat
quarter was seen. The proprietor led
his visitors—who, by the way, were not
verry into cordially received—through a-fea
loon a small room, where, stretched
on benches, were three men sleeping.ofl
the effects of intoxication, two old wo
men, and a girl who was smoking a Hack
clay pipe. A glance into a narrow area
showed that two more were asleep. Be¬
yond with the small double room’,was berths, a long apartment
a row ef disgusting
in their appearance, several of which
were occupied by poor wretches. Beds
in this room cost ten cent*, and there is
another room up-stairs, somewhat
smaller, where the price is fifteen cents
a night.
Thk latest “snake story" going Young the
rounds of the press is headed, “A
Lady incidents Tightly Embraced by a Serpent*” Bnt
Such are not rare. the
young lady doesn’t know at the time
that he is a serpent. Sometimes she
doesn’t discover the fact until after she
marries him.
Whflt has Become of Them. ■—
What has become of those graceful and
accomplished liars who used to write the
romantic tramp stories for the news
papers ? Let us see : There was al
wayB a rich heiress from the city in the
cool, business. old 8he site on the porch in the
farm house reading a book of
poems. The rest of the household are
away. with Suddenly the gate but opens and
a man a handsome face show
ing the marks of dissipation, approaches
and asks for bread. The young and
beautiful heiress goes into the kitchen
and brings out a big bowl ot bread and
milk and an apple pie, and the tramp
sits down on the cool porch and eats
with a new light in his eye. When lie
has finished; lie begs to look at the book
of poems, and selecting one at random
he reads it aloud so affectingly that the
young into girl is house moved to dry tears handkerchief and has to
go the for a
Thon the tramp tells how he was on ce jU
bright and happy boy, but has
n,way from the straight and
lif evil tiss<|hiatiem8, until
come to drinking too much after bre^ Jj,
fast. Audi now he is a tramp, but hinf
kindness of the heiress has made
resolve to lead a different life. The
heiress gives him a bright gold piece,
and shakes hands with him, and indnlges
in another weep, and then the tramp
goes down the lane with a new resolve
in his heart. A year later a handsome,
well-dressed young man calls at the city
home of the heiress and sends up his
card. “ G. Washington Jones,” she
reads, and running down, finds in tho
jiarlor tho tramp she met out in tho
country at her Uncle Feter’s. He is re¬
formed all over, anti has been wonder ■
fully improved regular in appearance bathing. Somo byavear’s rich
course of
old relation hail died and left him some
money, too, and there is a mutual pledge
of undying affection, an embrace, old a
“bless yon my children” from the
folks, and then a wedding and a bridal
tour to Europe. This reads all right
when it is properly graceful fixed up There and used em¬
bellished by a liar.
to be five or six of those pretty little ro¬
mantic tramp and heiress stories travel¬
ing around through the newspapers
every summer, but there is a dearth of
this sort of literature this season. Per¬
haps the graceful prevaricator who wrote
these stories has been struck by light¬
ning.
^ _
The Great Washington Monument.
This is now becoming one of the won¬
ders of the seat of government, though
for years it was the laughing stock of
the country. It is now some 350 mid
feet high; when completed it will lie 555
feet high, overtopping the famous cathe¬
dral at Cologne by forty-three feet. The
foundations were flnislied in 1880, and
it will lie readv for dedication, it is hoped,
by the next 4th of July. It will cost al¬
together $1,100,000. At the base it is
55 feet on each of its four sides. Above
the 500th foot each side of the cone is35
feet. The lower part is of granite, with
a marble facing. Tin' upper portion of
the cione will be entirely ot white marble.
Some of the slabs have been sent from
foreign countries. One is from Greece,
another from Turkey, and others from
China and Siam. Other stones again
are gift* from several States in the Union.
We shoukl not begrudge the money
spent on memorials of our great men.
They honor alike the monument builders
and noble men Tbis whose struoture services will they be oom-
583* one
»>!>*■»
from which the great white marble shaft
will pierce the clouds, and will be out
llg;ullflt tbe Uue of the sky.
®
^ Chief.— Ex-Mayor Hall says he
oue *. heard Thnrlow Weed describe the
SV stem of loblwing by likening it to the
instruction of railroads. First, you
acquire and Legislature’ survey your territory neighbor- (this
h, the and its
hood). Next you employ ditch diggers
who are not afraid of dirty work. Tnen
eome the graders. Then von must lay
your ties. Then the rails. Curves must
be nicely adjusted. Contractors mast
be paid and divided with. And over all
must be an Engineer in chief.
fllAT WINTER’S WOOD.
Hill Arp’* Winter-wood Hentimenta will
be Appreciated by the Women Folk».
Now is the Hme to get np the winter H
>TOod . The crop is laid by and there is
rj0 pressure of farm work and so I took
q, ree G f (he colored tenants and went to
the wnodH to clear a m]e piece ‘ c f new
Mother d Rnf] 1 and the ]itt]e ch
band. I wanted them to pile
! the bi cbips but tLe little r(Wca ] 8
f( un d a high * land tarrapin doming and it took
. pretty mnch a]1 the to fc.
ligate him and see how he shut up
^ doorg and thev would have to wait on
bima half an hoar to see bim (ipen and
poke £ big head out of the front door
is teil out beb ind. In the evening J
tbey {ound an old Btnmp abont ten t t
high with a bole near the top and they
had to investigate that, and Carl climbed
while Jesse pushed, and just as he got
up to the hole a couple of flying sqnir
re j s came out and scared ’em so bad
they both tumbled down in a bunch,
and the squirrels sailed away to the foot
0 f another tree and run up it, and then
sailed away again to an old beech that
wft8 full of holes, and the little chaps
hollered and whooped and throw’d sticks
and chunks amazin’ and now they are
begging me to cut down the old beech
and have just a lot of fun, and I reckon
I will have to do it. Uncle Remus says
that a tarrapin is a mighty slow traveler,
and I always thought he was, but Jack
Henderson says that that depends on
how hungry he is. He says when he
was a boy he saw a tarrapin take a run¬
ning start and jump ten feet up a tree
and catch a sap-sucker. Jack says please, we
may believe it or not, just as we
and I was overheard grateful to him of for the that old privi¬ dark¬
lege. I one
ies singing a little song to the ohildren,
and he said*
De frog he jump and he jump and he jump,
But de tarrapin hide behind de stump
De rabbit he ran aroun and aronn
But de tarrapin hide his head in de grotun
lie squirrel make nest in de forked lim,
But de tarrapin carry his house wid him.
I must get Uncle Remus after that
nigger and have him investigated. May
lie he knows something while aliout this sap
sucker business, and these law
makers are investigating the department
of agriculture I would like for thrjn to
investigate Henderson on that,
Well, we cut wood and cut wood, and
have got thirty cords piled np—ash, and
hickory, and white oak, and beech, all
mixed up; and we are going to have the
biggest and hottest fires this winter you
ever saw. I don’t like to be stingy of
wood; when company comes in of a win
ter night, and the cold wind is singing
around, I want the wood handy and
dry, and I can say, “Ralph, bring in an
other stick or two, and make the folks
set round.” I don’t like for folks to have
to crowd a fire. I want the fire to crowd
them. The winter wood ought to bo
cut uow, for it seasons right and will
not bum soggy and black. The winter’s
light wood ought to be hauled in time,
and split up and put away under cover,
There is a power of comfort in plenty of
light wood. The ash wood makes a
pretty fire and burns free, but the hick
**y lasts the longest and throws out the
heat. The beech burns to a white
like alljfhesf^lt flour, and when you mix up oak
Uuth is to to see thel
, Rowing nidcxneaih, embers dancing to a white heatT
and ...... the children can pop*
.heir , . roast their potatoes, or the ..
corn or
good wife can make a pot of coffee on
the trivet and toast some light bread
und broil a steak over the coals, and we
can Bit round and get the odor and en
joy the prospect<n good things that are
soon to come. 1 here* are lota of com
forte around an old fashioned fare in a
farmer s home, and, so far as I am con
cerned.T am content with em. Atlanta
(Ga.) Constitution.
......
Sad Case of Ethical Culture.
It was in September, 1879. The train
that bore Bode Hawkins to college
caught him away from the arms of his
mother and the kisses of liis sisters.
Very glum was Bode Hawkins, and very
reluctant he to go to school.
“Aw, shaw !’’ he growled, “I doukare
to go nuther, so wliat’a the use? Dog¬
gone the collidge, it don’t do no good,
an’ I won’t know no more w’en I come
back than w’en I go away. I’d dmtliei
drive team ’r learn a trade ’r somethin’.
Dod fetch the thing, anyhow.”
June, 1883. Ambrose Hawkins re¬
turns to his ancestral halls on the farm,
his family weep for joy. All rush to
embrace him as he steps from the train.
Ambrose Hawkins gazes fixedly at them
through the oriel window that in
eludes one eye and delicately extending
two fingers for them to grasp, he mur¬
murs:
“Aw, fathaw ■ gently, my deah fellah,
gently; easy on the rings, ye knaw; bless
you, me mothaw—how, no, thanks; kiss
you when we get home, ye knaw; how
do, brothaw—brothuw—well bless me
soul, but aw I’ve forgotten the boy’s
name. Sistah deah, will you kindly
hand these brawses faw me boxes to the
luggage mawstall ? Aw—is this—-is this
the vehicle ?”
And all the way home the old man
didn’t say a word, but he just drove and
thought,' and night thought he and drove, twisting and
nearly all the sat up
hickories and laying them to soak in the
watering trough down by the eow bara.
And he told a neighbor the next morn¬
ing that Charles Francis Adams was
right, and that “he had about four years
of college larnin to nnlam fer Bode afore
the boy could holler at a yoke seemed of steers
like he used to, bnt the boy to
be eomin round all right, and he reck¬
oned he’d do, by’n by.”
An Instant Remedy for Poisoning.
If n person swallows any poison what
h^ng hns fallen iuto convulsions from
overloaded his stomach, an in¬
stautaneous remedy is a heaping tea
spoonful of common salt and as much
ground mustard stirred rapidly in a tea
cup of water, warm or cold, and swal
lowed instantly. It is scarcely down
before it begins to come up, bringing
with it the remaining contents of tne
stomach; and lest there be any remnant
of poison, however, let the white of an
egg or a teacup of strong coffee be swal
lowed as soon as the stomach is quiet;
because these very common articles
nullify a large number of virulent poi
eons.
AFTER A CYCLONE.
Phoebe (otizlnw’s Account ot the Recent
Tornado in .'MtnnegoCa.
Miss Pbcebe Couzins visited Rochester
soon after the tornado and thus de¬
scribes what she saw:
“The country, for many miles, is laid
waste. Farmers’ crops and barns and
improvements are strewn in every direc¬
tion, but the loss of life is not so great
as at Rohcester, although the few that
are killed and wounded in the country
are most horribly mangled. The wife of
one farmer, who was in the field, started
for the house, but failed to reach it.
She ran for a stake in the field, but was
blown almost to pieces. The stake was
driven through her body, and her limbs
found. tom off so One that they have not yet lieen
mangled with youDg woman is so fearfully
ashes ground into her
flesh that she cannot live. A boy had
his spine so filled with nails that he will
die of lockjaw. But the most frightful
scenes was at
The scene in the north part ef the city,
where stood 300 houses and a large
number of trees, beggars description.
Not a dwelling or a tree remains. The
debris is piled up in huge masses, or
scattered over the plain in hopeless en¬
tanglement. Cattle, horses and pigs lie
atxmt dead in all manner of attitudes.
One cow we saw had her head completely
blown from the body and the horns
sticking into her bowels, A horse tied
to a tree was blown on his knees, and
his eyes in death bespoke the terror
which possessed him.
“The Horn John McCall, of Winona,
was killed near his elevator. He had
started for the house, across the way,
but had evidently been caught in the
air and whipped on to the earth, for the
grass was swept clean where he was
found and every bone in his body was
broken. A long train of grain oars was
thrown from the track and some of them
were pitched into the river beyond.
Among tha trees bordering the bed of
the river all sorts of garments were fly¬
ing from the limbs, and while we were
there the bodies of a woman and a baby
were found. That hundreds were not
killed was marvellous. But the time
being seven in the evening and the storm
seen by everyone, men had gone home
to their families, and everyone had taken
refuge in the cellars. All who were
mangled or killed were those who had
no cellars to go to. In almost every
instance everyone saved was in the cel¬
lar.
“The big most hall with heartrending sight was
the the houseless and
homeless and killed and wounded. Near
the door of the hall, improvised as a
hospital, lay five children, all dreadfully
hurt, whose parents had both been
killed. A Bixth child, the baby, never
has been found. This sight moved the
stoutest hearted to tears. Over forty
were in here—men, women and children
—in a most pitable condition. One
cunning baby which reminded me of
-’s little one, which no one claimed,
with one of its eyes put out, lay and
gazed with its one eye at every intelligent person
who passed, with the most
questioning look, as if to say:
“ ‘What does ail this mean ? Can no
one find toy mamma?’ ”
-<•
' ’ * What Frightened a j Diver. ,
—
“No. I was never frightened bn,
once j n my life, and you will laugh
wben I tell you how it happened. I
bftve been j n eome mighty ticklish
p j ace8i ^ yQ u know, but I never knew
be ( ore wba t king 0 f a feeling it was to
baye fli 6 co j d cb jj] s run up my back
b one, making my teeth chatter a thou
Band (.j mos a minute and my knees knock
t ekber bko ft pft j r of drumsticks.”
Tho speaker was T. S. Wilson, the sub
marine diver. The occasion was when
he descended to find out what had
caused the wreck of a large lake steamer,
“When I reached fifty feet,” he said,
“I began to feel the pressure considera
bly. But this was nothing, for number I had
been below that feet, depth a eighty! of
times. Sixty seventy, It
Great Crosar ! where was I? was
darker than pitch, and I couldn’t see an
inch before the glass in my helmet I
thrust out my arms and touched some
thing cold and hard, which seemed to
be all nronnd me. At first I imagined
that I had gotten into a big hole in some
way, but just what kind of a hole I
couldn’t say. • I climbed up a little, but
my cilindrical tomb still surrounded me.
I climbed ten or fifteen feet further
down, and it was the same. Stories of
extinct species of immense and horrible
sea sei>ents that were still f lund in the
ocean began to float through my mind,
and I felt my hair begin to rise a little
as I thought that possibly I bad gotten
into one of their dens.
“ ‘By the shades of my fathers, I
must get out of here,’ said I, and I
yanked that signal rope to come up for
all I was worth. Up I went, and when
I was pulled up on the scow and loud my
helmet taken of! I was met with a
burst of laughter from every side.
‘What’s the matter?’ asked I. trying to
look unconcerned. ‘Oh, nothin’, Tom,
except we guess you got down the
smoke-stack by mistake, didn’t yoq?’
said the other divers. I looked down at
myself, and sure enough, I was caked
over with soot from head to foot. ‘Well,
yes,’ I replied, and ‘that I didn’t ladder fell in the
wrong place find it out till
I had gotten down a step or two. But
hand her up,’ again.’ said I, bravely, ‘and we
will try it They suspected that
I was a little scared, I guess, but I tried
mighty hard to make them think differ
ently. So, assuming an off-hand man
ner, I began the descent again. This
time I steered clear of the smoke-stack
and accomplished the task that had bee*
assigned to me.”
A Denial.
A person who describes himself as a
“descendant of Leofric and Godiva” has
written to a London newspaper protest¬
ing against the Godiva festivity at Coven
trv. He is indignant that the memory
of his fair ancestress and excellent an¬
cestor should be kept alive only by a
fable—a fable too, which, as he says, w
“a disgrace to English history." Godiva Thii
“descendant” tries to show that
never did ride naked through the market
place, and that Leofric, Earl of thi
Mercians, who is spoken of by Mr. Ten
nvson as the “Grim Earl,” was a wis«
statesman, a loyal subject, and a devoted
husband.
MT
HOW HE REDUCED HIS FLESB
Sends on Order for Six Dinners.
[From the Arkanaaw Traveler.]
Colonel Nucklin whose great flesh be¬
diet came h a b lrden, declared that he would
ms If.
“Why,” this he said to his wife, “if I keep
on way I’ll soon be as big as Daniel
L.qmbert. It all comes of my eating too
much, and I eat too much in yielding to
the demands of an enormous appetite.
Now, a man can’t be a free man and al¬
low his appetite to control him; so,
Mary, fix me a little dry be" toast and a few
grits after this. I’ll hanged if I’m
going around town puffing like an en¬
gine.”
For several days the colonel lived on
his toast and grits. He would dream of
juicy beefstakes and chops of tempting
tenderness, and once, on his way down¬
town, he unconsciously stopped in front
of a catrfish restaurant to watch a hungry
negro eat boiled cabbage. Every news¬
paper he took up spoke of great dinners
and what certain men ate, and, stopping
once, he mechanically took up a piece of
paper that fluttered toward him, and
crushed it. when he discovered that it
was a bill of fare. The first Sunday
night after the beginning of bis trials he
attended church, where, he declared,
one oould sit free from suggestions of
eat.
the iat men and wondered if they were
hungry, and his month watered when he
suddenly remembered having seen ft.
roast pig somewhere and during the day.
The minister arose began to talk
about the Lord’s Supper. He was im¬
aginative, and had the table stocked season!
with all the delicacies of the
He spoke of the supped venison stew into which
the betrayer with his master,
and be turned the cold roast around so
the colonel could see it. Then he ex¬
hibited a baked duck, and taking up ft
handful of Saratoga potatoes, he scat¬
tered them over the table.
“I’ll be Billy be John Browned if I can
stand inis,” the colonel said to his wife,
and he turned away. At supper he ate
his toast, which lie declared was not
enough to tickle his throat, and he ac¬
cused his wife for making no allowance
determined, in nearing the though, end of for the loaf. He was
every one who
knew of his fast spoke of how rapidly he
was “goingdown.” out,”
“Oh, I’ll stick it he would say,
“I w r ould,” said an acquaintance “you
are somewhat literary in your turn,
Colonel, and I suppose you derive com¬
fort from Byron’s trials.”
“Yes," the colonel replied, although
he knew no more of Byron than a quar¬
antine officer does of the yellow fever
germ. fat, which,
“Byron was the not bad very condition of his to¬
gether with object of pity, but feet, he
made him an when
1 vegan to diet himself his flesh went down
gradually and became firm, while his in¬
tellect became bright. So, you see, you
have two aims to accomplish, not saying
that your mind needs brightening.”
“Oh, no,” the colonel said, watching
a boy who passed with a string of fish.
Thus the struggle was kept up. One
morning when the colonel sat in his
office a lank tramp entered and said:
“Will you please give me the price of
a meal ? I’m so hungry that I am near
f ng starvation/’ ,
“I’m a devilish sight hungrier
yon are,” the colonel replied.
“Why don’t yon eat?”
“Because I want to reduce my flesh.”
“That’s all foolishness,” the tramp ro¬
plied. “Some time ago I was on a cor
oner’s jury and we held an inquest over
a man who had starved to death. Oh,
but he was a whopper, as fat as he could
wallow. The neighbors said and-” that he
was trying to reduce his flesh
“ Are those facts that you are stab
mg?” facts solemu the west
“Yes, sir; sepulchre as when the as is
side of a sun in
the east.’’
The colonel gave his bell a vigorous
ring, and when the porter appeared he
said:
“Go to the nearest restaurant and
order meals for six men.”
“Six men 1” exclaimed the tramp,
“Yes, sir, for I suppose you are as
hungry as two men, and four.” I know' mighty
well I’m as hungry as
ENOCH ARDEN'S TRUK STORY.
When Enoch Arden came homo after
that memorable and disastrous voyage,
wliicli shipwrecked him and his hopes,
he crept up the street to his old home,
as Tennyson informs us, and looked in
the window. There he saw Philip child, Ray all
and Annie, his wife, and their
seated around the hearth cracking wal
Qnbs
Tbe wbo ] e bitter came upon
with terrible force. Annie, supposing
Enoch to be dead, had married Philip, and
g0 M to bave a bome for herself
a man about tbe bouse ^ caseoftramps.
It wft8 a gad coming back for Enoch,
and be was mad a bout it. Not so much
because Philip had married his wife, for
tbere were p i en ty more wives to be had:
not because his child had learned to call
man « pa> ” though child that looked was ft
bitter pill, inasmuch as the
a btde bk ^ Philip any how.
Neither of these things worried him
ba j { g0 mucb as ^ no te that Philip was
wearing his (Enoch’s) clothes, With a
men acing gesture Enoch was just aim*
^ dash into the house and annihilate
tbem wbea suddenly the anger in hi*
coun tenance was supplanted by a look ot
terror and be s i unk a wav as silently as of
be bad come g e bad caught sight Enoch’s
Annie’s mother, who during
absence had broke* up house-keeping
and come over to live with her daughter,
bad become a fixture there,
Enoch told some of the boys after¬
ward that it was the narrowest escape
of his life, and that he would rather be
shipwrecked every five minutes than to
encounter his mother-in-law .—Saturday
Night.
A t.tttt.w fellow, some four or five
years old and who nad never Been a ne¬
gro, was greatly perplexed one his day father when
yne came by where he and
were. The youngster eyed the stranger
suspiciously till he had passed, and then
isked his father: ‘Pa, who painted
that man all so black ?” “God did, my
son,” replied the father, “Well,” said
the little one, still looking after the ne¬
gro, “I shouldn’t have thought be
would have held still.”
