Newspaper Page Text
Brantley Enterprise, Nahunta, Ga., Thursday, June 23, 1960
Editor Gives Dumb Answers
To a lot of Silly Questions
Trying to answer all silly
questions for the year in advance,
Bob Wright, editor of the Mon
tello (Wise.) Tribune, recently
ran a column of questions and
answers, as follows:
Q. — Why don’t you print in
color, say red, once in a while?
A.— Our entire supply of red
ink is used in the Bookkeeping
Department.
Q. — Why don’t you have funny
papers?
A.— We think we have the
funniest paper in Wisconsin right
now.
Q. — why don’t you have an
“Advice to the Lovelorn” column,
like Abby Lane?
A.— None of our readers have
any such problems.
Q. — Why don’t you carry TV
reviews?
A.— Our set is busted.
Q, — why don’t you publish a
pin-up picture once in a while?
A.— I dunno. We ran our own
picture a couple of years ago and
nobody asked for reprints.
Q. — Why do you have all
those misprints?
A.— They’re the most enter
taining part of the whole paper.
Q. — Why do you always say
“we” when referring to yourself
in the paper?
A.— We want our readers to
think they are outnumbered.
Q. — Why do you make so
many grammatical mistakes?
A.— Cause we ain’t never
learned no better.
Q — W.iy didn’t you publish
that poem I sent you?
A.— It a lousy poem.
Q. — Wb: * do you do with all
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10 GEORGIA COUNTIES
Lincoln County
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Lincoln, Georgin’s 24th county, was formed from part of
Wilkes County in 1796. Both Lincolnton, the county seat,
and the county itaelf were named for General Benjamin
Lincoln, receiver of Lord Cornwallis’ surrender at Yorktown.
With a total area of 253 square miles, Lincoln ties with Chatta
hoochee as Georgia’s 122nd county in size. Os historical in
terest in Lincoln County is Tory Pond, scene of the hanging of
three of the British Loyalists who murdered patriot Colonel
John Dooly. Os more recent significance is the modern Clark
Hill Dam reservoir, which covers a sizable portion of the
county. In modern-day Lincoln County, a large share of the
population reaps its income from agriculture, with cotton,
peanuts, tobacco and corn among the chief crops . . . not to
mention its excellent fishing.
In Lincoln County, and throughout Georgia, the United
States Brewers Foundation works constantly to assure the
sale of beer and ale under pleasant, orderly conditions. Be
lieving that strict law enforcement serves the best interest of
the people of Georgia, the Foundation stresses close coopera
tion with the Armed Forces, law enforcement and governing
officials.
i Georgia’s
Beverage off
Moderation
your money?
A— We squander it on frivoli
ties, like food and clothing.
Q. — Why don’t you put out a
bigger paper like the Milwaukee
Journal?
A.— We plan on it as soon as
the population of Montello equals
that of Milwaukee.
Q. — What’s the reason you
don’t replace that linotype you’re
always complaining about?
A. — $}5,000.
Q. — Why don’t you print
weekly sermons?
A.— Why doesn’t the preacher
run the newspaper.
Q. — Why don’t you run re
cipes?
A. — We did and left a line
out. Twenty people got sick and
cancelled their subscriptions.
Q. — Why do you devote space
to such trivialities as “Joe Smith
is feeling poorly this week?”
A.— Because good old Joe has
many pals who are concerned
over his health, even if you are
not. Who knows, somebody might
read the item and send Joe a bot
tle of sympathy.
Q. — Why don’t you run a
column of excerpts from Tribunes
of years gone by?
A. — We used to. But once we
published an item from forty
years back about a baby girl be
ing born to Mr. and Mrs. Blank.
Trouble was this baby girl had
been telling everyone she was
only 34. Her lecture curled the
wallpaper off the Tribune walls.
Q. — What would you give me
for writing a weekly column of
moral homespun philosophy?
A.— A poke in the eye with
a sharpe stick.
Q. — Last week I brought you
in a detailed obituary about
Homer in California. You only
printed one short paragraph and
stuck it on the bottom of an in
side page. How come?
A.— Uncle Homer hadn’t visit
ed Montello since the spring of
’O6. Nobody but you ever heard
of Uncle Homer. Uncle Homer
had been dead eight weeks when
you brought the obituary in. The
main reason we cut the length of
it was that we lacked the courage
to throw all of it in the waste
basket.
Q. — How come you’re such a
jerk?
A.— Just lucky, I guess.
Q. — How come you write so
much about your kids.
A.— They’re defenseless child
ren.
Q. — Why don’t you write an
editorial and tell those guys on
the city council what they can do
to improve the town?
A.— Why don’t you go down
to the next meeting and tell’em
yourself.
Q. — Why don’t you print more
letters to the editor?
A.— Why don’t you write me
one? And sign it with your name
— please — don’t be chicken.
Q. — Why didn’t you print the
little item I sent you that “Joe
Blank spent last week as a guest
of Sheriff and Mrs. Atkinson?
That woulda been a good joke
on Joe. Ha ha ha! Everybody
knew he was in jail.
A.— Get outa here, ye bum—
Q. — Your paper’s got too
much advertising. How come?
A.— Little envelopes with win
dows in them.
Q. — Why don’t we go have a
cup of coffee?
A.— Why not?
Get posted signs to post your
land at The Brantley Enterprise
office. Five cents each.
Foundation |
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Social & Personal
Mr. and Mrs. Bill Johns and
children have returned to their
home in Brantley County from
Okeechobee, Fla. They will stay
here through the summer months.
Vera Higginbotham Strickland
attained the Dean’s list at Georgia
Southern College for the past
spring quarter.
Connie Harris, 12-year-old son
of Mr .and Mrs. Joe Harris,
caught the largest fish when the
pond of Elroy Strickland was
drained Friday, June 17. His fish
was a bass weighing eight pounds
13 ounces.
Miss Ruby Rumsey of Athens,
Ga. and Mrs. Ruth Adams and
son of North Carolina were re
cent guests of Mrs. Mollie High
smith and other friends in Na
hunta. Miss Rumsey and Mi's.
Highsmith were dinner guests of
Mrs. J. B. Lewis on Friday even
ing.
Mr. and Mrs. J. B. Lewis spent
the weekend with Mr. and Mrs.
J. Y. Chambers in Valdosta.
Mrs. Ruby Rumsey was guest
of Miss Mary Knox at Piney
Bluff for a few days last week.
Mr. and Mrs. Ralph Thomas
and baby daughter, Tina Leslie,
of Americus, Ga. spent the week
end with their parents, Mr. and
Mrs. R. D. Thomas and Mrs.
Aaron Sadler.
Wanda Faye Stephens is visit
ing her aunt in Brunswick, Ga.
Mr. C. P- Smith of Little Rock,
Ark., arrived on Saturday of
last week to spend a week with
his son, Carl Smith and family.
But was called back to Arkansas
on Tuesday of this week because
of the death of a brother, Percy
Smith, who died in a hospital at
Dublin, Ga.
Mrs. Julia Gibson, teacher in
Nahunta Grammar School, will
leave on Tuesday, June 28 by
plane for a free trip to New York
and weeks tour of New York a
warded by a paper company in
Atlanta for her collection of bands
on note books.
Guests of Mrs. Alice Highsmith
and family over the weekend
were Mrs. Mollie Patterson and
son, J. B. Patterson and Mr.
Henry Brown of Miami, Fla.,
John B. Highsmith and family
and Mr. Connie Harrison and
family all of Brunswick; and
Sara Jane Caten of Pannama,
D. C.
Political
Announcement
For State Senator
TO the voters of
BRANTLEY COUNTY:
I wish to announce as a can
didate for the office of State
Senator from this county.
I moved to this county eight
years ago because I liked it here
and wanted to make my home in
the section of Georgia where my
forefathers were born and rear
ed. I am the fifth generation of
my family to live in Brantley
County.
Having been reared on the
farm, I know something of our
farm problems. Having taught
school, I know something of the
problems of our schools and edu
catin. Having been in the army
and overseas, I know a little a
bout the economics and other
matters of interest in the prob
lems that confront our people to
day.
If you see fit to elect me, I
shall represent you in the best
possible way, because I want this
county to be my home and if I
can help to make it a better place
in which to live, I shall be
pleased. Your vote and Influence
will be appreciated.
W. C. LONG
TO THE CITIZENS OF
BRANTLEY COUNTY:
I hereby announce my candi
dacy for the office of State Sena
tor.
I deeply appreciate the confi
dence vested in me by the fine
people of Brantley County who
elected me as their representa
tive two years ago. I feel that
having served in the House of
Representatives I am better quali
fied to be of service now.
Your - vote and your help will
be appreciated, and I promise
you conscientious service in every
matter designed to promote pro
gress and prosperity in our coun
ty.
Sincerely yours,
J. Floyd Larkins
GRADING-UP
“Grading-up” refers to the
practice of using purebred sires
on females with the objective of
improving the herd and increas
ing the uniformity and producti
vity of the offspring, points out
Ralph Williams, animal husband
man, Agricultural Extension Ser
vice.
HAND-OPERATED SPRAYERS
Engineers, Agricultural Exten
sion Service, say hand-operated
sprayers and dusters are effective
weapons for use with pesticides
to control insects, weeds, and
plant diseases in the home, in the
yard, in the garden, and on the
farm.
Mrs. Mattie Nichols
Funeral Service
Held Wednesday
— Funeral ser
vices for Mrs. Mattie Lane Nich
ols, 66, who died Tuesday after a
short illness at her home near
Washington, was held Wednesday
at 3:30 p. m. at the Satilla Bap
tist Church in Hortense.
The Rev. Jimmie Strader con
ducted the rites. Burial was in the
Crosby Cemetery near Brown
town.
She is survived by two daugh
ters, Mrs. Grace Morgan, Fernan
dina, Fla., and Mrs. Lettie Crews,
Jesup; sons, R. E. Nichols, Jim
Nichols, John Nichols, and Jesse
Nichols, all of Hortense, Paul
Nichols, Tampa, and Willie Nich
ols, Woodbine; four sisters, Mrs.
Lula Phillips, Brunswick, Mrs.
Dol lie Drawdy, Mrs. Hattie
Brown, and Mrs. Addie Moody,
all of Jesup; four brothers, Hardy
Lane,Jesup, Connie Lane, Jesup,
C. H. Lane, Stewart, Fla., and
Ernest Lane, Screven; 31 grand
children and eight great-grand
children.
Farm Bureau News
Open a carton of milk and pour
a glassful. Looks good! Tastes
good! It’s delicious and nutritious.
Yes, it is good and so good for
you.
Every time you drink a glass of
milk it provides enough energy
to walk a mile or to climb 186
steps, and if you’re a homemak
er, one glass of milk supplies
enough energy to houseclean for
two hours or sew for a couple of
hours.
Milk is basic for any diet, for
losing, gaining or maintaining
weight. If you’re bothered with
the battle of the bulge, don’t for
get to use milk in your diet. In
clude plenty of milk and milk
products in your daily diet.
There is high quality protein in
milk. What does it do for you?
It provides essential building ma
terials for all body tissues. This
is needed every day by both a
dults and children as we all
wear down our body tissues in
daily activities. Protein is the
repairman for worn out body tis
sues.
Last week I gave you a recipe
for buttermilk pie. Hope you
have tried it. This week I want
to give you another good recipe
that you will enjoy this summer
and will help to add milk to your
diet.
Buttermilk Caramel
Cake Filling
3 cups buttermilk.
2 cups sugar
2 sticks butter
2 teaspoons soda
Boil in heavy pot until it forms
a soft ball. Take from heat and
beat until heavy and ready to
spread.
WORTH MORE BECAUSE THEY WORK MORE! CHEVROLET STURDI-BIITTRUCKS
R. L. Walker Chevrolet Co.
Phone ATlas 3-4250, 515 Tebeau Street,
Want Ads
TRACTOR AND
IMPLEMENTS FOR SALE
One Ford tractor and 15 imple
ments for sale, including 4-wheel
trailer. Phone 2-2316 and 2-2885,
R. E. Austen, Route 2, Nahunta,
Ga. 6-30.
ATTENTION PARENTS
Select your Child’s Piano NOW
and SAVE. Big Discounts on All
Spinet Pianos, Used and Rebuilt
Pianos during our BIG JUNE
PIANO SALE. Don’t miss this
Opportunity to give your Child
a Chance to Learn to Play the
Piano. TAYLOR PIANO STORE,
910 S. Peterson Ave. Douglas, Ga.
6-30.
WELDING DONE WELL
Arc welding, acetylene weld
ing and burning done at reason
able prices. Prompt service on all
welding jobs. Contact Sikes
Texaco Station, South Nahunta
on 301. 8-25.
POTATO PLANTS FOR SALE
Government inspected sweet
potato plants for sale. 100-to-Hill
variety, 35 cents a hundred.
$3.50 per thousand, above 1000
at $3.00 per thousand. H. W.
Brauda, phone HO 2-3108, Hor
fense, Ga. 6-30.
Georgia FFA Officers
Tour Atlanta Concerns
Officers of the Georgia Associ
ation of the Future Farmers of
America are visiting twenty At
lanta area firms and organiza
tions this week. The Atlanta
Chapter of the Public Relations
Society of America sponsors this
visit each year for the outgoing
officers. The purpose is to foster
mutual understanding between
farm and industry.
The 1959-60 state officers mak
ing this trip are Bernard Halde
man of Albany, president, George
Westberry of Patterson, vice
president, Jimmie Granade of
Washington, vice-president, Jim
my Robbins of Winston, secre
tary, Donald Barksdale of Sylves
ter, treasurer and Buddy Dallis
of Lincolnton, reporter. T. D.
Brown, executive secretary of the
Georgia Association is accom
panying the group.
Firms and organizations parti
cipating in this event are: Ar
mour Agricultural Chemical Com
pany, Atlanta Biltmore Hotel, At
lanta Gas Light Company, Citi
zens and Southern National Bank,
The Coca Cola Company, Colonial
Stores, Inc., Delta Airlines, Inc.,
Dundee Mills, General Motors
Corporation, Georgia Motor
Trucking Association, Georgia
Power Company, Georgia Textile
Manufacturers’ Association, Glass
House Restaurant, Heart of At
lanta Motel, Life Insurance Com
pany of Georgia, Lockheed Air
craft Corporation, Plantation
Pipeline Company, Ryder Truck
Lines, Shell Chemical Company,
and Southern Bell Telephone and
Telegraph Company.
See your local authorized Chevrolet dealer
BOATING SAFETY
When boating, be sure you
know how to handle your craft
before you take it out. Never
go out in a boat on stormy days.
Learn and practice safety regula
tions for boaters. These sugges
tions are from Miss Lucile Hig
ginbotham, health education spec
ialist, Agricultural Extension
Service.
The smallest acreage of cotton
planted in Georgia since crop re
cords began in 1866 was 380,000
acres in 1958, say agronomists,
Agricultural Extension Service.
Dr. Charles H. Little
OPTOMETRIST
607 Isabella Street Telephone
Waycross, Georgia At 3-5144
A. S. MIZELL
INSURANCE AGENCY
FIRE, THEFT, COLLISION AND LIABILITY
INSURANCE. FIRE INSURANCE FOR YOUR HOME
OR BUSINESS. HAIL INSURANCE FOR YOUR
CROPS. _
Phone 2-2171 Nahunta, Ga.
Waycross Livestock Market
SOUTHEAST GEORGIA’S LEADING
LIVESTOCK MARKET
HONEST WEIGHTS AND COURTEOUS
SERVICE.
At our sale on Monday, June 20, a
total of 620 head of hogs were sold at
the following prices: Feeder pigs up
to $16.00; RI, $17.16; LI, $17.31;
No. 2, $16.65; No. 3, $15.70.
There was a very good demand for
cattle with prices as follows: Calves
up to $23.75; Steers and heifers up to
$23.60; Cows up to $19.60; and Bulls
up to $20.75. Cattle prices were very
strong. Try ua with your next load.
For pick-up or contact for sales please call
Woodrow Wainright Phone HO 2-3471 Nahunta,
Georgia.
Waycross Livestock Market
L. C. Pruitt, W. H. Inman and
O. A. Thompson, Operators and Managers
f PHARMACEUTICAL g
I Skill ks I
■Most for pred- ■
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I Halmovi th« wheat presai p-
■ 4m it brought to the Rcxall
| Day Store it k compounded ■
I I
Ernest Knight
Pharmacist Always on Duty
147 West Cherry St.
Phone GA 7-2254 Jesup, Ga.
The Rexall Store
OUT WHERE THE COUNTRY CAN
TEAR A TRUCK TO PIECES-
Chevy
middleweights
get % more
work done
in a day!
Where they used to deliver 2,300
gallons of liquefied petroleum gas
in other trucks, Petrolane Cas
Service of Long Beach, California,
can now deliver 3,500 gallons a
day! That’s 7 days a week usually,
over back trails and up into high
rock country with maximum GVW
loads. And with Chevy’s Torsion-
Spring Ride paving every foot of
the way! “You don’t get any more
jolting on washboard roads than
you do in a passenger car, or any
sidesway on curves," says driver
Bernie Stone. "I used to take some
rough roads at from 5 to 8 miles
an hour. Now I can go 30 over
them.” Petrolane has over 200
Chevrolets hauling for them.
If you think we’re excited about
Chevy’s independent front suspen
sion, you ought to talk to the truck
owners who are profiting by it.
They’ll tell you Chevy’s torsion
spring design is the hottest thing
to hit the industry since trucks be
gan. Drive one—that’s the proof,
short and sweet.
Waycross, Ga.
DRUGGIST
