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Miscellaneous.
’ ■ I I I- 11l ■ ■! ■
Amendments and Criticism.
A journeyman hatter, a com
panion of Dr. F. on commenc
ing business for himself, was
anxious to get a handsome
6iu;.inoaid, with a proper in
scription: This he composer!
himself as follows—“ John
Thompson, hatter , makes and
sells hits Jar ready money”
with the figure of a hat sub
joined. But he thought he
would submit it to hi* friends
for their amendment. The
first he showed it to, thought
the word hatter tautologous,
because followed by the Words
‘makes hats,’ which showed he
was a hatter. It was struck
out. The next observed, that
the word ‘makes,* might as
well he omitted, because bis
customers would uot care who
made the hats; if good, and to
their mind, they would buy, by
whomsoever made. He struck
that out also. A third said, he
thought the words ‘for ready
money’ w re useless as it was
not the custom of the place
to sell on a credit; every one
who purchased, expected to
pay. These too were parted
with and the preserption then
stood,—“John Thompson sells
hats.” Sells hats!” says his
next friend; “why who expects
you to give them away?” What,
then, is the use of the word?”
It was struck out, and hats wa*>
all that remained attached to
the name of John Thompson.
Even this inscription, brief us
it was, was reduced ultimately
to ‘John Thompson,’ with the
figure of a hut subjoined.
We never saw parental feel
ing and Christian resignation
aov where better expressed
savs the Philadelphia Press
than in the following observa
tion of the Uv. C. Wolfe, on
the death of his children.
VMv gems are falling away;
bir l do hope ami trust it is
because God is making up his
jewels. *
‘I have lived’said the inde
fatigable K. l>. Clarke,‘to know
that the greatest secret of hu
man happiness is this—never
suffer your energies to stag
nate. The old adage of ‘too
many irons in the fire,’ con
veys an abominable lie.—You
w
cannot have too many; poker
tongs, and all—keep them all
going.’
louch (itWVC l fir vte&zw r*.
/k late Buffalo Emporium
had an advertisement, which
concluded with a notice that
Mw * or three genteel persons
of colour * could be accommo
dated with hoarding and lodg
ing. We suppose somebody
as genteel as Sambo described
to Cuffy, would suit the adver
tiser. Cuffy . Well Sambo,
how you cum on at de ball, last
night? Sambo. Oh berry bad:
I ask Miss Dinah to dance; and
Miss Dinah she so berry gen
teel, she—fainted away in a
minute.
An Irishman was vainly en
deavoring to keep up with a
sad-boat on a canal. On com
ing to a lock, the boat lowered
her sails to pass when the Irish
man giving up the contest, ex
claimed—Wrrali! my jewel, I'll
run no longer with you, for if
you bate me with your clothes
on, what will you do when you
strip to it.”
When Dr. Johnson courted
Hiss Porter, who he afterwards
married, he told her, ‘that he
was ol mean extraction, that he
had no money, and that an un
cle of his had been flanged ’
The lady, by way of reducing
herself to an equality with him
replied* ‘that she had no noie
money than himself, and hat
though none of her relation*
had been hanged, she had fifty
wiio deserved hanging,*
A commercial traveller late
iy left an article belonging to
his wardrobe at an inn, ami
wrote to the chambermaid to
forward it to hint by coach; in
mswer to which he received
die following;'—
•I It pe, dear *.r, 3 <>u*11 not feel hart—
I’ll frankly tell ynu ill iw
Ive in>uie a slul with yu<>v olvi
Ami you imut make a sffiif! without it.’
Many a line woman lus lost
her reputation thruugn the gab
ling of mischief making gossips;
indeed the whole hisluiy and
progress ol scandal may be
traced to something nke the
following, Which is rather more
at la.ge than a piece el the
same nature heretofore pub
lished:
Mrs. Hopkins told me she
heard Sum Grub’s wile say
that John Harris’s wile told her
that Granny Smith heatd that
it was no and iubt the vv dow Ba
ker said that ( apt VVoods wife
thought that Colonel Lane’s
wife believed that old Airs.
Lamb reckoned positively that
Peter Dunham’s w.le had told
Nell Cuscudgeu that her aunt
had declared to the world that
jit was gen‘.rally believed that
mother Parker had said in plain
terms that she heard Betsev
m
Cook say that her sister Polly
, had said that it was well known
bv the neighborhood that old
M rs. Should made no bones of
saying that in her opinion it
was a mutter of fact thfct Dolly
Light linger would soon be o
bliged to lengthen hei % apron
strings .
Why ought a young goat
sleeping to he sent before a
magistrate? Because it is kid
, napping:
Receipt f°r Indigestion , Chole
ra Morbus, Summer com
plaint in Caildren, or any
complaint in the stornucti or
Bowels, viz:
Quarter pound rhubarb, half
ounce carraway seed, half
ounce orange peel; iniuse them
in one quart best French bran
dy, and let them stand lor
twelve hours before using
For a grown person, two thirds
of a wine giass lull once a
day, or every six hours (if the
case requires it) —and iur a
child, a tea spoon lull taKen
at discretion. Ibis mixture
checks the most obstinate dys
eiitaiy; keeps the bowels gent
ly open; promotes digestion,
and is one of the most effect
ual to nicks in all the materia
luedica.
Remedies fur Indigestion.
Os indigestion two ul the
prominent Futures are flatu
kJice and acidity; and the rem-
these states are cleai
ly indicated. They are al
kalies and niagnes*a; and the
advantages which the latter,
in the general way possesses
over the former, is tins: that,
as containing an alkaline prin
ciple, the stomach acidity i*
neutralized by its administra
tion; and a purgative suit being
formed, in some measuie, by
the combination, the doubie
purpose is thus effected ol a
corrective and an aperient. A
tea spoon full or two of mag
nesia, thrown into a glass ol
wu er, and taken before going
to res., will often anticipate as
it were the acid formation in
tfie stomach, which Would be
otherwise consequent upon a
little irregularity oi eating or
dr nking; and will desiine the
individual to a good, who oth
erwise would pass a restl s
uncomfortable night. When a
more positive purgative is re
quired, it will be right to com
bine the sulphate of magnesia
(epsom salts) with the car
bonate (common magnesia.)
1 wo large tea sp >ons full of
the former, with one of the
latter, will constitute a good a
perient; and for a gouty invalid,
one tea spoon full of the fluid I
caibonate of ammonia (sal vol
atile) will be tound useful; or,
if the hahit be cold, two o: three
spoons lull of tincture of rhu
barb may be advantageously
mixed with the salts and mag
nes’a.
Four thousand pounds of
BACON.
The subscriber will sell four thou
sand pounds of Baron cured in the
best manner, low for cash, or on a
credit until the 25th day of December
next, the purchaser giving small
notes with good security. Apply at
the Post Office.
JOHN MOORE.
W arrenton, June 21. 4-ts
AGRICULTURE.
In order to dissemiuate extensively
the many advantages which must flow
from the developement of new tesomcet
and valuable improvements in the Agri
cultural World, it is reasonable to pre
sume, that a proper medium for the accu
mulation and distribution of practical
knowledge, must prove of the first impor
ance. A periodical publication, dovotetd
to these purposes, if conducted with spir
it and industry, cannot prove otherwise
than eminently useful.
Under these impressions, the publishers
have determined on ottering to the Agri
cultural community, the
FA RMEIiS* AIA GAZINE,
as a repository of u-dtfl information;
-atisfied that they cannot render to their
ountry a more valuable seivice, or betterc
ontribute to its permanent prosperity,c
iian in subserving, as they hope to do, itst
agricultural interests.
The leading feature of this publication
will be sustained by our own ample resour
ces, united to the promised contributions
f several Agricultural Societies, and
the assistance of distinguished agricultu
rists in (hi* and other States.
The Literary ami Scientific Depart
ment will be conducted by a gentleman,
h-re to fore editor of a popular literary
journal.
In furtherance of their views, the pub
lishers solicit original contributions on
\gricu!ture. Horticulture, Rural and
Domestic Economy, &c. and the co-pe*-
a ion of agriculturists and the fiiends of
igncUiture throughout the country to
horn is respectfully Submitted the ful
.owing.
PROPOSALS FOR PUBLISHING
In the City of Pci.
THE FA KM E RS’ P R ACT'ICaL
MAGAZINE;
Or, Agricultural and Literary Cazele.
The FARMERS MAGAZINE is de
igned to contain information drawn
liom authentic sources, relative to the
mprovement and management of retnark
bie Farms; sources of manner; number
tnd kind of stock: Farming Utensils,*
Laborers, Dairies, kc,. Agricultural Im*
urovemet ts, Drawings and Descriptions
f useful inven ions; Ci ideal Notices
md Reviews of such publications as may
end to the interests of the Husbandman;
tsnpruvmeuts in the Breed of Domestic
\nimals Accounts of such Foreign and
‘domestic Trees, Shrubs, Vines, Plants,
“■eeds, and Grams, as are considered rse
*ssary or useful for Subsistence, Com
fort or Ornament, with information rel
itive to their treatment , growth, requisite
und of Soil, and, in short', whatever may
tend to increase the product of the soil
and advance the rural economy of the
country.
Insertion will alwavs be given to such
Reports, Addresses, and Papers as may
b communicated for publication by the
several Agricuituial Societies of this aticl
other States.
A Land Register will contain, as far as
practicable, a list of Farms which are
iow, or may hereafter be for sale, ac
ouut of their size, situation, quality, and
•iich other particulars as may be deemed
iseful.
Space will he afforded for the solid and
sterling beauties of Literamre, the useful
\rts and Sciences, Chemistry, Natural
History and Philosophy, Biography, and
Travels, State of the Markets in the prin
cipal Seaports, kc. &c.
—-The Fanners’ Maga
izme will be published semi-monthly; the
price is three dollars per annum, payable
either at the time, of subscribing, or on
j receipt nf she first number. That form
and size has been adopted, which is
ideemed most convenient for binding,
while the qualify of paper, the beauty of
the type, (entirely new,) and the general
execution of the work, will be such, as it
is hoped, will reflect credit ou the pub
lishers. and gatify its patrons,
i Address (post paid) THOMAS C
CLARK, Agent for the Proprietors, No,
48. Makel-street, Philadelphia*
copying the above, may
contribute to the inteiests of an invalua
ble science, and will receive a copy of the
w^rk.
THE CABINET
Is published every Saturday , by P. L.
ROBINSON, Warrenton , * Geo . at
three dollars per annnm. which may be
discharged by two dollars and fifty
cents if paid within sijety days of the
time (f subscribing.