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‘' ’ ‘
BY STEVEYS & FILLER.
VOLUME 4.
THE (PLANTERS’ WEEKLY
eUBI.ISIIKD AT
’ttrsenesboM ffa.
HO UN TV. STHVtiNS. ( Pl . onr i e tors.
FRED. C. FULLER. vropueiors.
YtfftMS.-TWO DOLLAR A YE Alt;
OR ONE DOLLAR ANI) FIFTY
CENTS IN ADVANCE.
Bates of Advertising.
Advertisements inserted at the rate of one
dollar per square of ten lines or less, for first
and fiftv cents foreaclt subsequent insertion.
Those not marked with the ntimhor of inser
tions will he published until forbid and charg
ed nt these rates.
The following are our lowest contnctmg
HATES!
1 Sn’r Six months s7..one year
2 <•’ <• “ 11.. •* “ 20
3.< .• •< 1 (.. “ “ 28
lUcolinori (J nio. SO.. “ “
* .. fi SO.. “ “ 55
a ii (> “ 40.. “ “ ..... 70
j .. G “ 50.. “ “ SO
Advertisements from strnneers end transient
tiiwsons innst bc paid for in advance*.
LJJ 111 -
a si it njf.
ATTORN E Y AT LAW,
OUBK.NSBORO’ CrRORUIA.
WILL practice m I he counties olCrcenc,
Bill vh>- P itnim oi'jia, 0 ‘lnthorp'C, |
T iliafarro Tioook. [Fob. 2, 18SC-t£4
’ tmLElt* REID.
attorneys at law.
Tim undersigned having formed a part
nership for the practice of Law, under the
name and style, of I ulliq* & K ‘id, will at
tend with promptness and fidelity to any
legal liusiness entrusted to them in tins
w*! f\dj-''in'lK'-CO'. l / 1 *'.0J• . . ITI , „„
FItEDEItIOC. FULLER
JOHN C. REID.
(ireenesb iro (ii. Jan. oth 18bl.—*tf.
ciNdir, t i 5 1 , aif Fco.
WIDLEi.VLE DRUGGISTS,
AVI) I \fI’O'ITEItS or
KYULTSJ, Fild.TiJll, VN'J UKRMVN’ iIIIVGS,
Cnemio il*. I’orfnrnwry unit Fmcy Arlicl. a.
,rnr:;m, euvrs, oii.s. vai msiims, window
in,vss, &y., An., &o.
j, tv. Or. o'Mg’it ind h'DnV.rtl streets,
!5 MVIT.VIOHE.
p, T. COOii- ‘lVtv, A.;t, —•|v2S-tf.
Utv.Uttivt U;u*'t.
h- (; | Y ifviJ my ,l T i'lcd i<> Hu* p t'-lic for kiml-
IV • td'' A*. !* / *'l 111 1 MTo 1*1?, )l ! trjTi-r rill *F” it!
p ttr >n 2o ill (ii I t*wi ofTpr mv !>*-
frd4Lvi-.il d-rvicf.* to H-ty wli imiv ‘/>" n “* *
Wuti nt nr it-Hdi.iodlly 1 m.y bo found
nt W i rl’d !> ••(/St<iro. .. ..
Jam 12. ISlillv. ‘V I, BErilhA, M. D ,
DENTI s T R Y •
nil. ir. .Willies i, _
mill Hecliaiilciil Buatlst.
Pen field, Georgia,
WJULO i ifo'm the oUinuie ~f Orernn anil a t
j Hiii'ig a .lollies Urn lie is p-epurml 0. p rl .no
lay i|ijriti n inirtaininir to hi* profession,ivithneat
ions an 1 UUpatch. He will lnert from one 10 anen
tire set of teeth. It is his intention toplenen.
He will be in Oroeinnb om oo Morolsv, Tuesday
end We Ines liv of each iveeek and in Penfleld the
rem tin ler of his time.
Anv mil from the country tli it may be tendered
him will meet with prompt attention, lie refers to
hr. .1 ihn It Murohyi.f It one —Feb. 2<>. ISfio.
M.lftmiLTO,
MARBLE (YORKS,
Broad Street.
A ear the Lower Market, Augusta, Ga,
MARBLE MONUMENTS,
to.ubstonks, &c.
ALSO
. MARBLE MANTLES.
And Furniture work of all kinds,
From the Plainest to the most Elaborate,
Designed and furnished to order at short no
tice.
All work for the country carefully Boxed
and forwarded.
Augusta, GU.Sopt. 20, lsiii'., ly,
IVOTICH.
DR. NF. P ) ‘-VF,!i J, having been burnt
out has had to get an office elsewhere.—
lie is no v st. ying in the i >use formerly held
by Dr. Latimer. ;r. P. solicits the patronage
of those who in vy grant it, and who are willing
to pay for it.
Roll on Silver Moon,
Guide the Lone Traveller on his Way.
TO
PLANTERS HOTEL.
ATLANTA GEORGIA.
‘Wlicro will bo found inoals ready on the
arrival of every Train.
WM. OHALLORAN, Prop.,
December stli 18G0. —wUm.
GLOISE HOTEL.
i lu : v in. ciwitiiU.
AOSTIS iiaLiaKY,
Pitonu^on.
—\otiTr.—
Passengers holding Through ickets
•grill be carrlw l to and from Ibis Hotel .U* *
qf O.nnihus
Augiihta, o',l*,'S.cpv 2G, ISGO. —ly.
A Weekly JoaraJ--Dovotodt to Eoiro LitonUiu'e, Asri.Gu|iaro, ffocolgn ami Domestic Nows, Wis, Humor, &.c.
——— J-V ..
New Advrrliscmcnls.
OtJNS! CfVNS! >
GUNS!
undoraiomed has permanently located
, at OiVcneshftre, fur the purposo of KlnK
iiijg ami Kepaitins
Double (Jims, Rifles & Pistols.
I will do all work entrusted to mo with neat
ness and dispatch, on reasonable terms, mid
warrant it. may” O ire me a Call. lean
ho found at the stand formerly occupied by
•I. I’. Aulstrom as a .Jewelry store.
IF. MARKWALTER,
f?roonesboro’, Jan. Ist, 1801. —ly.
SO LU 1 limlmiJG 110 USE.
SPBAEsI HiailT,
STILL OCCUPY Til KIR Old) STAND,
Oppositb tub Planters Hotel, No 316,
Where they Constantly keep on hand .one of
THU LARGEST STOCKS
I\ THE son'llEKY COUNTRY!
Comprisin'? Evcrv Article in the
Slrus ami Fancy Goods Trade,
ALL of
Which they will sell
AT NEW YORK PRICES.
Price Befre Von tSuy.
Augusta On. March Oth 1801.—ly,
removal:
wa hereby give notice to nil of our friends
“ana ou' i,v ■ 1, c* s the public generally, that
wo have bei'u compelled t movcio
Did Stand,
(in order to avoid Lu.’j'dion,) where wc ex
pect to remain until our uv’-V Uouso is com
pleted, which we hope will boh'lt a short
time, ami in order to reduce our
biirgo and Complete Stock of .
Fall and WmttT Goods, I
■. ■ i
we will rfl'er
Extra JiuliicfiiionH,
we are detcurined not t.. he undwsohi by .my
of our II me or Foreign cmupetiiors, all w j
ask of,any one is to come and
EXAMINE OUR STOCK,
u e feel confident, that the iMucements we
effir, earnot fail to give general satisfaction,
wc offer (ii'Ol)
Goods at Low Prices,
Our stock consists of every thing usually kept
in an up country Town, such as
Staple and Fancy Dry
goods!
I).inn sties of all discriptious, Cloths and Casi
meres, Vost'ngs, Hats and Cap ‘ weeds and
Kerseys, Blankets. Ladies O. atlemcn and
, Childrens shoes. Broga- s llardware, Crockery
Groceries, Yankee notions, <&e. (Ve would
call particular attention to our stock of
GEO IUSI A MADE GOODS,
such as Kerseys, Tweeds, Casitneis, Sheeting
arid Shirting, Osnaburgs, Wool Hats &c. We
will sell any of our old goods, at New York
Cost without the expenses of getting them
here, call and sen us, wo shall charge nothing
(or showing our GOODS, but will take pleas
ure in doing so, dont buy before you oxntnino
our stock, as you might regret it after it is too
late. Come one, Come all.
WINFIELD, .JACKSON & CO.
10th Oct. 1880 till 22d Aug. 1861.
Copartnership Notice.
WH, the undersigned, having formed a co
partnership for the purpose of carrying
oh tho
CLOTHING AND
Furnishing Goods Business,
An<l having bought Henry C. Weaver’s
interest in the old firm of Crabb* & Weaver,
would inform our frionds and the public gen
erally, that we oiler
Extra Inducements
in the sale of what goods wenow have on hand,
our object is to reduce the present ( took, as
we intend to offer one of the
LnrgCßl ami Best Stock* of
Clothing and Furnishing Goods.
ever offered to this community, wc intend to
make this a
BUSINESS OF ITSELF,
anil* therefore our stock will be complete.—
We hope that by strict attention to busi
ness, to merit a liberal share of your patron
age. Oil ABBE, PORTER & CO.
It. It CIIABBG, | L B. JACKSON.
J. T. POItTEB, | J- ‘V. WINFIELD.
August 15th, 1800.
LEAN I) eS S DIMMING.
254 Broad Street 254.
UNDER GLOBE HOTEL.
Dealer in Fancy and Di y Goods.
I have anything you want, and nt the
lowest prices.
Augusta, Ga., Sept. 26, 1860. ly.
Job Work of 0 ! I
kimls neatly done
,St this office.
i
GREENESBORO’, GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY MOHNING, APRIL:!. isi;i.
MlSaKh. hXX K 0 V .
i ftemcrcbcrV
BY HDWAItI) AS'llTi N.
I romninkor when wo parted
On that glnriour summer inoni,
llow the pearly tear drop started,—
Tlutiking how the rose and thorn
■ E’er on coith must grow together,
And who seeks and plucks the one,
That he would oi would not slum !
I remember well the sorrow
Wo were doomed at. heart to feel,
Knowing that wl.on came the morrow,
And o’er earth its blush shall steal,
Then we should not see each other,
Nor rejoice in converse sweet, —
But wo each must from another
Some cold, heartless welcome great!
I remember then a vision
r Had wc of a happier day,
When should come life’s joys elysian,
Cheering all its ragged way.
And we little thought that never
Should wo meet, each other more,
In a land where chill winds ever
Poison pleasure's golden store !
But how sail indeed the real,
Like a dread o’orshadowing cloud,
Banishing each dream ideal,
Willi its cold and dreary shroud.
Fur hi ! tliou art gone before mo
To a land unseen, unknown,
And what pangs of grief steal o’er mo
When I feel that Pm alone 1
When I feel that l shall never
See again those soul lit eyes;
That thy voice is hushed forever.
By 4^,.'if “oiler's sacrifice,
But why'grieve f To hopeless sorrow
1 would not a violin dwell,
But iioin heaven would pray to borrow
| fstri ngtli to say ‘‘Ho doth well.”
: ‘ ,
Some weotv Os ten days ago a young
! man, originally n the country, became
i .M,gaged In marry a >dy equal In him in
; rank and fortune. Sho vv:ls ■’ Parisian,
lie occupies a lucrative place,"’ one of the
railway company's oflicis I.ere. j.'mfa'li
er lives on the family osiate, which w mt
tiated in tno of tho inqim'ain gorges nea,’
the Franco-spiuiisli frontier, and separated |
almost completely from the world. He ‘
lmd passed fora wiunwer above twenty i
years. The young man paid a visit to the
i edd family se. it, wlmra indeed ho was ne i
custonied to spend his summer vacations, :
to collect tho inmiiTierahle. and euiiieiits the. j
French law require* the etiicr who per •
forms the marriages lo have in his hands 1
before he stamps the civil contract made
before him with iis Mcdoan and Persian
character.
He asked his father for his mother's
Initial certificate. The father was ex
tremely embarrassed by this appeal; hat
no hands could he published until the buri
al certificate had been lodged at the may
or’s office, where the mnriiagc was to he
contracted. The father at last broke si
lence, saying, “My clear boy, 1 have for a
great many years concealed a secret from
you, because its possession would prove it
painful burthen to you because the honor
of out house is interested in its mainten
ance, mid your tender year* have hitherto
rendered you incapable of preserving it.
Your mother lives. She is a lunatic.
Gome with me mid I’ll let you see her.”
He carried his son, who was trembling
with emotion, into on old tower which
formed psst-t of tho architecture of the
chateau, and fliey went to the top of it.
The ehamber on tlio last floor was tho lu
natic's cell. He, opened the door, tho son
entered it, mid kneeling at the poor wo
man's feet, sobbed: “Mother! Mother 1”
in a most heart rending mnnucr. These
touching appeals, which would have mov
ed stone idols almost, made no impression
outlie poor lunatic. Her staro continued
as vacant and her lips as speechless as
ever. Tho son, liiu soul sick at the sail
spectacle, there gently upbraided his fath
er for denying him the melancholy solace
of sharing the attentions he, the father, had
bestowed on his wreck for qo many years
( The father repeated the excuses lie had
given of his sou’s youth and the impor
tance of the secret to the family happi
ness.
It became necessary to avow this mis
fortune to tho bride’s family, and they
naturally desired to see tor tlieinselvos. as
the story that the wife was dead and the
story that sho was crazy, seemed some
thing awkward, which needed explana
tion. Several mouthers of tho faintly went
down to the distant cfiatcau, and the poor
lunatic was introduced. As soon oh she
saw herself surrounded by witnesses, she
said in a calm tone : “1 am not toad. My
husband becoming the pioy of a most un
reasoning jealousy, and 1, being helpless
sand alone in this secluded mansion to es
cape his continual scenes of violence, and
to avoid tlm foqr I was coutiiually iitidci
of being assassinated by him, (lie threat-
I ened more than once to kill me.) 1 say, 1
. fuigncii madness in the hope ot enjoyitif
j something like quiet, 1 preferred languish
• ing in prison all my life to being liourlj
hurrusscd liy these drendfe.! scenes nfjeal
ousy.”
Yi.it may imagine the effect of this do
t (ration. Tho persons assembled tho't
first this accusation was hut an addition
evidence of ihe distracted state of lie*
l mind, for madness ofton borrow’s reason’s j
I mask, and wears it so well as to deceive ,
J even the most practiced physicians of the ,
j mint). r l lie Faculty wero appealed to. ,
[ Before they could decide, her husband, ,
whorind been in a state of agitation ever |
sincolhis wife charged him with her so- ,
questration, became raring mad. His |
pnporprere inspected, and it appeared ,
ihnt l.fc had been crazy—a monomaniac— ,
his phYenzy arising from jealousy. Ho ,
wan caiVied to a mad-housc, and his wife |
signed the marriage contract of her son!— ,
N. (>. P\ayune, j
To Yoslag Mon Starling Into Life. \
The first great, lesson a young man |
should learn is, that he knows nothing.— ,
Tho emler and nmro thoroughly this les- ,
son is learned, the better. A home-bred (
youth, growing up in the light of parental |
admiration, with everything to fester his ,
vanity and self esteem, is surprised to find, t
and often unwilling to acknowledge, the |
superiority of other people. ,
But be is compelled to learn his own in- i
sighilienneo ; his airs are redicule I. his ,
blunders exposed, his wishes disregarded, ,
avid he is made to cut a very sorry figure, ,
until his self-conceit is abased, mid ho feels ;
that ho knows notligin.g j
When a young man has thoroughly com ,
prehended that fact, that lie knows noth- ,
ing, and that, intrinsically, he is of hut lit- j
tie value; tho nest lesson is, that the ,
world cares nothing about him. lie is the (
subject of no man’s overwhelming ad mi t
ration; neither petted by the one nor en
viod bv the oilier, ho has to take care us .
himself, lie will not he noticed until lie ,
I becomes noticeable; he will not become ,
I n.ivicoablo until lie does something to j ,
i prove that he is of seme use to society.— I ;
No recommendation nr introduction will f i
,-ive hiii) this, or i"i.udiU to give him Ibis; j
X c*
srvinohoilv.
There is no surer sign el an unmniil)
’ and cowardly spirit*than a vngo desire for (
i Jielji—a wish to depend, t-olean on some- (
| holly,aijd enjoy the fruits of other people’s |
I industry. There are multitudes of young (
i men wlio indulge in dreams of help from ,
! soiiie quarter, comingin %t a convenient mo ‘
’ nie.it, to enahl; them In secure llm success
! .file which they covet. The. \,is'n>u f
! haunts Ufl'” of some “ill geuthfinan |
! with a i.nelv * I'" 11 mon-.-y. a box fall of ,
! serb, a trunk i
; mind remarkably wJi“ will. ;
! peilians, icquea'tli them .ronimieHipusaml
;to lea Ihotisand dollars, ;,liiey (
i can commcliee business, and jfr jn -stvmi- ,
| niitigly. Perhaps he will lake (t tltfimA'’*’ ,
lurh, and send them to college, from # whieli y
tliov will emerge knowing about as little ,
as when they entered. Bueli young men y
slionhl learn to do something, and prove j
t liolnscl'es win thy of regard. „
■ •
Wonderful Calculation.
A writer thus undertakes to convey
sonio idea of the greatness of tho [ opttla- ( -
lion of China: _ (
•■The mind can not grasp tlio real im
port of so vast a number. Four hundred •
millions! —Wliat does it mean? Count
it. Night and day, without rest, or fo6d, t
or sleep, you continues tlio weary work;
yet eleven days lias passed before you ,
couitteij tliO first million, and more than as
many years before the cud ol tho tedious (
task cun bo reached*” ,
lie also supposes this mighty multitude
to take ii;) its lino of march, in a grand (
: procosbion, placed in singlo file nt six foot ,
apart, and marching at the rate of thirty
miles per day, except on the Sabbath,
which is given to rest —
■•Day after day tho moving column ad- ,
’ %uhhsub. tho head pushing on far toward 1
( the rising sun, now bridges the Pacific.
now bridges tlio Atlantic. And now the <
1 Pacific is crossed, hut still the long pro
cession marches on stretching across high
( mountains, and sunny plains, and broad
I rivers, through China ai\d India,, and the
■ European kingdoms, >nd on again over
r tho stormy bosom of the Atlantic. But the
1 circuit of tho world itself affords not stand
ing room. The endless column will double
l upon itself, and double again ad again,
-and shall girdle tho earth eighteen times
•’ before the great reservoir which furnishes
those numberless multitudes is exhausted.
• Weeks, months, and years roll nway, and
! still they come, men, women, and chil
s diam, Since the march bogan tlio little
a child lias become a man, and yet on they
• come, in unfailing numbers. Not till the
end of forty-one years will the last of the
: long procession have passed.”
r Such is China in its population; anil if
e Homer could preach eloquently on the
e vanity of man ns u mortal, with equal olo
>’ iiiinco, had lie seen or the
(- millions of China, could ho have preached
s on the vanity of man ns nn imlivitLyd I *
Sir Walter Scott once gave aJUTnlliinan
T a shilling when sixpence woiiltWnvih(fceen
I/ Kitffieieift. ‘’Remember, Pat,” s'W Sir
i WaiteV, ‘you owe me sixpr.nse,'*Bfjta.y
„. yoitt honor live till 1 pay you 1’ was thq
t ei,if; %
y I A little hoy being asked in Stluday
1- I sol tool “What is the chief end of nmn ?’
j answered : “The end what's got'the
e- head on.'* • X
(
Otti* GratiiimotHorN Toilet.
In no particular lias the present genera
tion heromo more fastidious than in wlmt
is requisite for the use of ladies in their
own dressing-rooms. Eseneos, powders,
pastes, washes tor tho hair, washes for the
skin, recall tho days of one's grandmoth
ers, when such appurtenances were
thought essential and wore essential; for
our great-grandmothers were not rigid in
points of personal cleanliness; and it is
only unclennlinoss that requires scents to ‘
conceal it, and applications to repair its
ravages. Our great-grand mothers wore
powder ami pomatum, and lmd their Imir .
dressed three times a week; going to bed
in the cushioned structure, after suffering
torture for some hours, lost they should,
in tho weakness of human infirmity, lean
hack in their chairs. Our great-grand
mothers, too, had their whim kid gloves
sewn to the bottom of each sleeve, lest >
they should incur tho calamity of a sun
burnt arm. Our great-grandmothers were
afraid of cold water, and delicately wiped ‘
their laces with the corner of a towel no
larger limn a pocket handkerchief. There
were those among them who boasted that
they had never washed their faces in tlioir 1
whole span of existence, lest it should
spoil their complexions, hut had only pass- 1
ed a cambric handkerchief over the deli- 1
ieoto brow and checks, wotted with elder ‘
flower water or rose water. I believe the 1
nearest approach to the ablution wo nojv .
diurnnlly practise was tho bathing their
lovely countenances in May-dew. esteem- 1
ed the finest thing iti the morning for tho .
skin by our hollos of the last century; so 1
they turned out betimes in high-heeled 1
shoes and negliges, trotted down the old
avenues of ninny a patriarchal home to the
meadow, and, saturating tlicit handker
chiefs in May-dew, refreshed with it the
cheeks flushed over night at quadrille or (
great casino, nod went homo contented
that a coiiseieiilou) duty had been per
formed.— The Habits of Good lin/th.
-
H kat is a Zouave.
A fellow with a red hag having sleeves
to it for n coat; with two red lings without |
sleeves to them for trowsers, with an cm- ,
brnideved and braided hag for a vest, with |
a cap like a red woolen saucepan; with (
yellow boots like the fourth robber in n (
singe play; with a moustache like two hull
pound paint brushes, and with a sort of (
sword-gun nr gnu-sword tor a weapon, Hint (
imks like tho result ot n love affair he- ,
twomi an amorous broftdswonl and a lonely
musket, indiscreet and tender—that is a ■
Zoi'llVC.
A fellow wlm can “pull tip” a hundred- (
iind-ton-piiund•dumb-bell; who can climb
up ati eighty font rope, hand over hand,
with a barrel of Hour hanging to his heels; ;
can do tho “gait swing” on a liovizon- -
tal'bnr u'?*-b fifty-six tied to each ancle; j
who can wait P f"'”’ il'gklH of stairs, ,
holding a heavy h.”U >' ch hand, at. ,
arm’s length; and whooflU climb a greased ]
polo l'eet first carrying ft htuve! 1,0,k1 ,o, k in -
his teeth--that is ft Zouave.
A follow who can jump seventeen feet
four inches high without a smiug hoard;
who can tie his legs in a double how knot i
round his neck without previously soften
ing his shin bones in a steam bath; who
cun walk Bloudin's light rope with his
stomach outside of nine brandy cocktails,
a suit of chain armor outside his stomach,
and a stiff noft'ioast gale outside of that;
who can take a five shooting revolver in
each hand and knock the spots of the ton
of diamonds at eighty paces, laming sum
•uiersaults all tho tune ami firing every
shot in the air—that is a Zouave.—"Don
sticks,” in the. Sunday Mercury.
Sensitive People.
Thcteis no help for being sensitive, hut
it ought to teach a person temlurnoss to
wards other*. It- does not however. A
great many people who pride themselves
upon their “liwikncss,” and always “speak
their mind,” are the very last ones who
will hear the same things iron) anybody
else. They never are untrue to their con
victions,—not. they. They mean to ho
faithful and do their duty, and so they
are always Haring your faults in the most
offensive manner. ’ But go to one of these
people, —say to him, “Air. llotehel, l feel
ii. my duty to toll you that j our temper is
not the sweetest, that your children behave
had at school, that tliey lie, pinch, play
truant, and are dirty into tho bargain
and lo 1 you have disturbed ft whole wimp's
nest of evil passions, and probably your
family and tlio lletcliels will ho put in
non-intcrcourso nil the rest of your life. —
Speaking one’s mind, with tHeso people,
means their privilege of sticking needles
into every one's feelings they choose,
whereas all the neighborhood must he
sweet as summer toward them.— Monthly
Religious Magas ine.
— -
An old lady sleeping during divine ser
vice in a church ir. Liverpool, let fall her
Bible, with clasps to it, and the tiniso partly
waking her she exclaimed aloud : “\Vhnt
’ you’ve broke another jug, you slut, have
. yolfr
b ‘
“Have you found a verdict ?’ said a
1 judge to the foreman of a jury.
’ “No. your honor, wo have limited in
. every corner ottlie room, and there isn t
one there.”
l
Terms—sl,so Always In Advance.
WAYSIDE (iUIHMXUS.
-- —-— v*
Bh:.vetl.
In a certain English parish a Quaker
burlier received a note for church rates five
shillings ami sixpence.—Ho called upon
the Clergyman, and said ;
l’ray friend, what do you mean by this
note ?”
“Mean! why it is for the church rate—
don’t you see/’
“Yes, friend but wliat is that for V
“Why for tlio repair of the enroll, and
for the maintenance of public worship to
bo sure.’
“Well, friend hut what have 1 to do with
that ? 1 don't attend tho church.”
“Oh, that don’t signify ; the enreh is all
ways upon and its your own fault if you
don’t come ! Besides it is the law and
you must pay.
“Well friend 1 take leave to toll tlieo
that 1 think that is a very unjust law that
obliges me to pay ministry and a religion
which I don't attend Fare tlieo well.”
A few days alter wards the barber, by
way of straitening accounts with tlio par
son sent his reverence a note—“JJootni*’
to Timothy Salters, for shaving ami hair
cutting five shillings and sixpence.’ The
receipt of this note by tlio parson very
quickly brought him to tho shop in no
good humor either.
“What do you menu by sending mo this,
hill? You never out my hair nor shaved
me in your life.”
“Nay, friend, hut thou knowostmy shop
is always open, ami its thine own fault if
tlion dost not come to bo shaved.”
Freak of Nature. —A story is told of an
apple tree planted over tho graze of Roger
Williams to this effect: Tlio tice hud
pushed downward one of its main root’s i
a sloping dii'oo.tton, and nearly straight’
course, toward tho precise spot that had
boon occtipiediby of Roger Wil
liams; thbre, mnJGcg a turn vonlinmAop,
with its circumference, tlio root followed’
tlio direction wf tho hack-bone to the'hips,-
and thence divided into two blanches,- each’
one following the log-bone to the lieel-k
where they Both turned upward to the ex
tremities of the toes of the skeleton. One
of tho roots formed a curve at the part oc
cupied by the knee-joint, thus producing
an increased rcscinhJaimo to tho outlines
of tlio skeleton, ns if, indeed, molded
thereto by the powers of vegetable life.
This singularly formed root has been care
fully preserved, as constituting a very
impressive exemplification of the mode in
which the contents of the grave lied been
entirely absorbed.
A Cure far S/ijiyery Siiteioalks. —The
Niagara Falls Gazette tells a story of two
young ladies wlm were promenading along
the streets icontly. when one of thum
slipped and on mo down’ on tho icy pave
ment “like a thousand of bricks.” Jump
ing quickly up, sho exclaimed, so/o race,
“Before another winter I’ll have a man to
hang on to; son if 1 don’t!”
A man eats up a pound of sugar, and
the pleasure he lias enjoyed is ended ;
but tho information he gets from a news
paper is treasured up in the mine, to bo
used whenever occasion or inclmatiou
calls for !t.
A Mrs Fox, a German woman, was pla
ced in tho New Allmn jail, for being disor
derly and whipping her husband. Upon *
promising better behavior slio was let off
by paying jail fees.
Tim following hill, rendered by a car
ponter to a farmer for whom he had wor
ked, seems at least curious: “To UangV*
ing two barn doors and myself ..even hours!
ono dollar ami a half.” \
Not long since a gentleman took his lit
tle daughter to tlio Dentist’s to linve ft
tooth extracted. After the operation, her
lather said to her: “Now, my dear, if
you don't put your tongue where the tooth
came out you’ll have a gold tooth.” To
which she replied : “If 1 should have one
father, it wouldn’t be long before you
would he trying to got it out.”
Minnie one day talking to her little
class in Sunday-school about God's great •
love to man. Wishing to impress upon
tlioir minds, nnd to know whether they
m.dorstoad her, she asked : “Now, chit
dien. who lovos nil men ?’ Tlio question
was hardly asked, before a little girl, not
four years old, answered quickly ; “All
- women!’
-•-
Nothing in It. — A venerable grand
mother, alter returning from church one
night, asked her grandson for n gourd of
water.
‘ Give mo a light, aim said, wishing to
know wlmt ho was drinking.
••Thor nint nothing in it, grandma,”
replied the young hopelul.
‘•How do you know, Johnny t”
“Cnso 1 felt in it 1”
The old lady fainted.
A hoy cutorod a stationery store the oth
er day, and asked, the proprietor what
kind of pens he sold.
“All kinds,” was the reply.
“Well, then,” snid the hoy, “I’ll take
three cents worth oi pig pons,”
NUMBER 14.