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About Schley County news. (Ellaville, Ga.) 1889-1939 | View Entire Issue (March 9, 1899)
VALUABLE STATISTICS. By Their Use It Is Often Easy to Overawe the Multitude. “Nothing like fake statistics for giving a fellow u reputation for scholar ship dirt cheap,” chuckled an astute New Orleans citizen. “Statistics are the most impressive thiugs in tko ■world, and the beauty about ’em is that nobody dares to contradict you. I’ve been working the scheme for sev eral months, and my stock has ad vanced about 1000 points a day. How do I do it? Well, to illustrate the thing, I was standing in a crowd ou Canal street watching the big pile driver hammering down the walls for the drainage canal. < i i Lot of power there,’ remarked a gentleman at my elbow as tk(? weight came down, biff! “ ‘Immense,’ I replied, ‘and by the way, 1 was just making an interesting calculation in regard to it. Do you know, sir, that blow is exactly equal to 9«i(>2 carpenters driving ten-penny nails into two-inch oak planks with four-pound steel hammers?’ The man looked startled. ‘You don’t say so, professor?’ he replied respectfully,and presently I saw him whispering to the others, who sized me up with awe. The other day when it. was raining I joined a group under au awning. returned. ‘Bad day,’ said somebody, ‘Yes,’ I ‘I was amusing myself a few minutes ago in figuring up the quantity of water that lias fallen in the city limits between 6 a. m. and noon.’ “At that the other fellows got in terested. ‘How much was it, doc tor?’ asked one of ’em. ‘Poured into a row of ordinary half-pint tumblers,’ I said impressively, ‘it would make a line one and two-fifths around the globe; it would fill a 13-inch guu bar rel reaching from here to a point about niue miles east of Copenhagen; it would quench the matutinal thirst of 9,468,941 Kentucky colonels the day after Christmas; it would barely go in to a tank 4562 kilometers long and 2411 millimeters wide.’ By Jove! You ought to have seen those fellows’ eyes stick out, “When they see me now they all touch their hats. I squelched a smart Alec at -our boarding place by inform ing him at the table that the pies con sumed annually in New Orleans would form a column, piled one above tbe other, precisely 12,622 miles high. ‘Oh, I admit it leaves about sixteen pies over,’ I said when he ventured a question, ‘but that’s only 3 1-2 deko meters and too small to compute.’ That settled him. Now I’m the ac cepted authority of the establishment on everything from hash to hydraulics. “I’ve found it a good idea, by the ■wav, to use the decimal system when ever possible. It mixes ’em up when you begin to talk about millimeters and hectometers and gives a fine flavor of learning to your remarks. I never ran across a fellow yet who dared to question a statement in decimals. If I keep up this statistician racket summer I wouldn’t be surprised if they offered me a chair in one of the colleges.” A Clever Victim, When a popular young couple were married in the northwestern part of the city the other night, some of their friends had designs that included be ribboned carriages, rice, old shoes aud a great send off - at the depot when they left on their wedding trip. The conspirators had assembled at a livery stable from which the carriages had been engaged, and notice to bring on tbe carriages was to serve as notice on the plotters. But, the bridegroom had not been knocking around the world for nearly thirty years without cutting his eye teeth. He had his suspicious of the young men with whom he had been intimate since boyhood, and was con fident of some move in the dark directed at him. Gall him Blank, in order to give him the protection to which he is entitled. He rang up the livery stable and did his share in carrying on this conversation: , “Is it true that young Blank is going to be married this evening?” “You bet it is. The boys are all here now. They’re going to ride over in the carriages he has ordered and give him the merriest old time ever a new husband had in this country. Are you a friend of his?” . “Oh, yes. Known him since he was f a baby.” “Good! Come right over here and join the gang.” All right,” Buc what Blank did was to order his carriages from an other stable and while the conspirators were still at the barn, yawning,growl ing and saying things, Mr. and Mrs. Blank were speeding eastward.—De troit Free Press. When Silenoe Keiqpnetl. A well-known man and woman were discussing the Anglo-American alli ance at a London reception the other evening, when, a sudden silence fall ing upon the company, the woman in heartfelt accents was heard to exclaim, t 6 And the more we know of one an other the more dearly we must love one another !” As can' be imagined, all their eager explanations as to the entirely political character of the re mark fell upon deaf ears, and were powerless to stop the laughter of the hugely delighted audience. IS THIS YOUR a © “Every morning I have a bad tasfe in coated; my mouth; head my tongue is my aches and I often feel dizzy. 1 have no appetite for breakfast and what food I eat distresses me. stomach. I have a heavy getting feeling in my I am so weak that sometimes I tremble and my nerves are all unstrung. I am getting pale and thin. I am as tired in the morning as at night.” say? What does your doctor “You are suffering from im pure blood.” What is his remedy? x'. 9 w. P *4 x – J: You must not have consti pated bowels if you expect the Sarsaparilla Pills to do its best work. But Ayer’s cure constipa tion. We have a book on Paleness and Weakness which you may have for the asking. M frlto tea our Doctor9. Pernaps you would like to consult eminent Write physicians about your condi tion. in us You freely will all receive the particulars prompt^ your case. a reply. Address, DR. J. C. AVER, • Lowsll, Mass.-' _ -^1 . • '.<v. . A**.- V.‘.' Saw Mills SI 29 TO S 929.00 With Improved Rope and Belt Feed. SAWS, FILES and TEETH In Stock. Engines, Boilers and Machinery All Kinds and Repairs for same. Shafting, Pulleys, Belting,Injectors,Pipes, Valves and Fittings, LOMBARD IRON WOMSUPPLYCO., AUGUSTA, GA. ___–gm CiMS WHtHEALLELSf m Tails" m m ch Best Cough Syrup. Tastes Good. Use <1 in time. Sold by druggists. rtl C O N S O M P TlON Av^ W Tlf ANTED—Case of bad health that ItTP'A N S W will not benefit. Send 6 cts. to Ripans Chemical o s K.wYork. for 10 samples and 1000 testimonials. I*] aGokf in c / V* m tali' mmm TAKE i; J y* t AMOVE . I BROMO-QUININE TABLET Thig Signature <0 Is on every box of Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. Accept no substitute represented to be “just sa good.” SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS IN A CRIP CURE that DOES CURE. Druggists refund the money THE UNITED STATES if it fails to cure. AND CANADA. PRICE 25 CENTS. The Police at Shanghai. 3n a well ordered British-Amerioan quarter at Shanghai, China, the strong force of police is an interesting feature. Some of these are English men; others are Chinese who have been trained to deal firmly with the great coolie class which throngs in all parts of Shanghai; and there are be sides the Sikli police, clio'sen men from the Pirajau'bi regiments, who patrol the city and its lonely outskirts on horseback. In the French settle ment the guardians of the peace are wholly different, being fairly faithful copies of the typical gendarmes of Paris. They are assisted by a certain number of Gallicized Chinese, but the affairs of the French quarter are not. on the whole, so well administered as those of its Angle-Saxon neighbors. ■ -St Plantation Chill Cura is Guaranteed : ■ 4 i m^e. * ST Price 50c. To cure, or money refunded by your merchant, so why not try it? Mad* From Sawdust. The town of Deseronto, in Canada, where there are several large lumbev mills, is partially lighted by gas made from sawdust. The tawduat is charged in retorts, which nre heated by a wood fire, the gas from the re torts passing into series of colls ami thence into the purifiers, which nre similar to those used for coal gas. Lime Is the principal purifying agent employed. When it passes out of the retorts the gas possesses an odor much less disagreeable than that of ordinary lighting gas, and resembles somewhat that of smoke from a fire of greeu wood or leaves. The works in use are small, turning out daily 540 cubic meters of gas, for the production of which about two tons of sawdust are required. , Beauty Is Blood Deep. Clean blood means a clean skin. TTo beauty without it. Cascarets, Candy Cathar tic clean your blood and keep it clean, by stirring up the lazy liver and driving all im purities from the body. blotches, Begin blackheads, to day to banish pimples, boils, and that sickly bilious complexion by taking Ca»earets,—beauty for ten cents. All drug gists, satisfaction guaranteed, 10c, 25c, 50c. 44 Since BishopTuoker I writes from Central Africa: came out six months ago I have walked more than one thousand miles and confirmed more than one thousand candi dates. To Cure u fold in One Day. Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All Druggists refund incuey If It falls to cure. 26c. O'Brien county. Ia., is bragging on its high has morality. The grand jury for the second time adjourned without finding ft single in dictment. and the court calendar does Hot now contain a single criminal case. Fits permanently cured. No fits or nervous ness Nerve after first day’s use of Dr. Kline’s Great Restorer. $2 trial bottle and treatise free. Dr. R. 11. Kline, Ltd., 931 Arch St., I'hila., Pa. You sorrows grow less pungent when you cease to think about them. Educate Tour Bowels Witn vMcsretl. Candy Cathartic, cure constipation forever. 10c, 28c. If C. C. C. fall, druggists refund money. The lighthouse at Corunna. Spain, is be lieved to be the oldest one now' in use. There ismore Catarrh In this section of the country than all other diseases put together, and until the last few years was supposed to be incurable. For a great many years doctors pronounced It a local disease and prescribed local remedies, and by constantly failing to cure with Science local treatment, pronounced it In surable. bas proven catarrh to be a constitutional disease, and therefore requires constitutional treatment. Hall’s Catarrh Cure, manufactured by F. J. Cheney – Co., Toledo, Ohio, is the only constitutional cure on the market. It is taken internally in doses from 10 drops to a teaspoonful. It acts directly on the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. They offer one hundred dollars for any case it falls to cure. Send for circulars and testi monials. Address F. J. Cheney – CO., Toledo,O. Sold by Drutrgists. 75c. Hall’s Family Pills are the best. modern Italy exported last year 21.000 ancient and works of art, valued at $600,000. Wo-To-Bac for Fifty Cents. Guaranteed tobacco habit cure, makes weak men strong, blood pure. 60c, 81. All druggists. Indifference will draw the line of love and hate and displaj the color as it is. Mrs. Winslow’s Soothing Syrup for children teething.softens the gums, reduces inflamma tion, allay spain. cures wind colic. 25c. ahottle. Piso’s Cure cured me of a Throat and Lung trouble of three years’ Nov. standing.— E. Cady, Huntington, Ind., 12. 1894. Intellectual vitality depends more on what a man is learning than what he knows. To Care Constipation Forever* Take Cascarets Candy Cathartic. 10c or 25c. If C. C. C. fail to cure, druggists refund money Ninety-five percent, of the toothpicks in the United States are formed from white birch. The Fair Maid of Perth, In the north part of the city of Perth, in Scotland, is a building that has long been known as tho Fair Maid’s House. Tradition insists that this is the house in “Couvrefeu, or Curfew, street,” which was formerly inhabited by old Simon Glover and his daughter, Catherine. Sir Walter Scott made the latter his heroine in the “Fair Maid of Perth,” describing her as “universally acknowledged to he the most beautiful young woman In the city or its vicinity.” Tradition, liow’ever, has little historical basis to stand on. Nevertheless, tlie building is an interesting relic of old Perth, and as such the Town Council will soon acquire it and purchase it from its present owner at the price it cost him. $ y !v f.fbh Oj o •Vi A V / J2 / WA\\Sjfy< 7' \ I \r if . I S' Hi- I T r*', A / .1, ■s» JV-sJ \A> X Riding in the wind and dust roughens the and often causes painful chapping and cracking of the skin. Those who are so affected should use a pure soap. Ivory Soap is made of vegetable oils that are soothing in their nature; it can be used freely even on tender faces, for there is nothing in it to irritate or injure. IVORY SOAP IS 99^00 PER CENT. PURE. A WORD OF WARNING.—There are many white soaps, each represented to be "Just as good as the * Ivory they ARE NOT, but like all counterfeits, lack the peculiar and remarkable qualities of the genuine. Ask for " Ivory ” Soap and insist upon getting It. Copyright. I8f2, by The Proctet dr Gamble Co., Clncinnett SI6.95 whether Cut ONLY thi* ad. Gents’ out ONE or and Ladies’, send DOLLAR to and us we with will $1.00, send DOWN stats yoa GENTS * this HIGH GRADE 1899 MODEL $40.00 ACME JEWEL C O. BICvdLE, D. subject to hy ex iiORn press, exam ination. Examine It jit y our LADIES’ express office and if you And It a genuine 18 !t!i model high grade (40.<10 ACBS JEWEL as represented, a and the grandest !.r.r.r,;a you ever heard of, pay the express agent th« balance. $15,95, -and m. express THE ACME charges. JEWEL Wf |f Is made, one finest of the steel beat tubing, bicycles ' best material through out, drop full forge ball connec 'Hi tions, bearing, ; two-pieoe hanger, high BARREL of HEALTH FREE! Positively Tate Epsom Spring Water CURES 0*040+04 Indlgestl.m.Dyspepsta Malarla and all disorder Fln.m-lal Rof.ren-e. R G. Dud – Co Keferen es as to Water: Col. j. s.Carr r?ov Rob T 1 tch^U.Qov.Atklnson.Gov IJtron.etc. ▲dUresM a I ho*. I omllnsou/j Hte aSprings.E. Teun. in wr/timr. mention tills paper. n $25°.o6°Spring*Suit of Clothes for 25 Cents? If so write us at once and we will tell you how you can get it. Sttii- Tailors, 40 N. Forsyth St., Atlanta, Ga. There’s Only One Stand ard of Quality Goods— in Athletic “ Spalding.” Accept no substitute. Handsome Catalogue Free. A. G. SPALDING – BllOS., New York. Chicago. Denver. HPllPQY U f» s-w I I quick NEW relief DISCOVERY; and cures worst give. cases. Book of testimonials and lO dn v»’ treatment Free. Dr. H. H. GREEN’S SONS. Box D, Atlanta. Ga Users. And 83-10 Good FOR enough UNCLE SAM And good enough for you. There is more of Carter’s Ink use'd by the U. S. Government than of all other makes put together. It costs you no more than the poorest — ask for it. Funny booklet" How to Make Ink Pictures ” free. CARTER'S INK CO • * Boston, Mag$. WOOD Our Smalley and Bar* tie Creek eelf-leeil Brag Saws xro the standard of the world. Also ail sizes of Circular Saws, and the celebrated SAWS Feed ating. Horse B. C. Corn Mills, Hilo Powers Picket Machinery, Hhellers. Root for Cut. Mill oper ters. SMALLEY MF6. CO„ Sols Uokon, Msaltowoo, WU. FOR 14 CENTS! iv,; ■ We wish to gain this year 200,000 offer new customers, and hence >1 ^ I Pkg. 13 Day Itadish, 10c loo 1 PWg. Karly Ripe Ked Cabbage, Beet, 1UC 1 " Kariiest 1 “ 1/oji* LightD’p Cucumber loo 1 " SulzerV Boot 1 iKttUCC, loo » 1 " ('h iifi rn;.i Fig Tomato, Sic 9 S 1 “ Early Dinner Onion, luo • 8 •• Brilliant Flower 8eeil»,lXc Worth $1.00 , for 14c enu. y Abore 10 pkgs. worth $1.00, we will 1 mail yon Plant free, and together Seed Catalogue with our great receipt of this notice – 14c upon VVe invite trade and postage. your Salzer’s know when yon once try sceileyonwillnever Seed get alnngwitb- and n ii;!.; out them. Ooioii OSc. INK ’EJS(rXf!iv , “ s '- up a llbl. a lb. Catalog Potatoes alone 5c. at U:-;i JOIIV A. SAI./KK SERB CO., Li CROSSB. «IS. 11 N IIS u aM h and Whiskev Habits Jg|| ^ fc I S 8ft cured out at home Book of ivith- par IwITB ticuiars sent FREE. H99HHH9 Office B.M.WOOLLEY, N. Pryor M.I). St. < (until, tia. 104
