©lie Counts
W. B. MUTCEY, Editor.
YOL. I.
Algeria, which sixty yenrs ago was
nearly all waste land, has now nine
millions of acres under cultivation.
Floods] earthquakes, epidemics and
accidents have caused a million deaths
in China during the last six months.
In India the finest grades of cigars can
be bought for half a cent apiece, and
cigars are considered rather an expensive
luxury at that.
The King of ‘‘pain will^celcbrate his
second birthday by a graiidf- ’fete at the
Madrid Lippodroine. i IA11 the school
clii! '»ea will be present. Urtch^cliild on
entering will bie presented with a gold
meoaf with a picture of the baby
Alp There will be 12,000 cakes,
12,000 n ils, 12,000 cups of chocolate,
and 45,0G0 pounds of bonbodh.
Tho Scandinavian population grows
atit.3 root in Castle Garden in New York,
aud in all its branches over the land.
Th f total number is now about 2,000,000,
of whom one-half were born across the
see. They are divided in about these
proportions: Swedes, 1,000,000; Nor¬
wegians, 750,000; Danes, 245,000; Ice
landcir, 5000. So rapidly have they
increased in Minnesota that they now
number about one-half of the population
of that State. Chicago is the fifth
Scandinavian city in the world, and
Minneapolis the sixth.
There are just 401 members of tin
House and of the Senate, and to wait
upon them and ruu errands and hold open
the doors as they pass in and out, and
cany the cards of their callers and take
-are of the thousands of bills they put
. lu »they have employed about 400 people,
■who
•100 for doing so. Fact. Every member
has one employe, and for tho service of
the same there is paid an average of
about $1800 each. The snug little sum
of $380,000 is required to pay the salaries
of the Senators, and for the compensa¬
tion of the members of the House $1,-
695,000 are to be provided, and this
bring! the salaries of our national law¬
makers to a total of over $2,000,000 per
year.
There are vast areas of government
Jana held by alien landholders in the
United States. The largest tract, 4,500,-
000 acres, is held by the Holland Com¬
pany of New Mexico. An Englishsyn-
dieate holds 3,000,000 acres in Texas.
Sir Edward Reid and a syndicate in
Florida own 2,000,000 acres, 1,800,-
000 acres belong to an English syndi¬
cate in Mississippi, 1,750,000 to the
.Marquis of Tweeddale, 1,300,000 to
to tho Philips-Marshal Company, of Lon¬
don, and 1,000,000 acres to a German
syndicate. These comprise the larger
landholders. There are, however, a
score or more of persons and syndicates
owning less than 750,000 acres. The
grand total foots up to 20,747,000 acres
of government lands held by aliens in
the United States.
The electricians are greatly annoyed
at the habit persons are forming of get¬
ting killed by touching electric wires.
They are also angry with the newspapers
for saying that these fatalities tend to
show that electric wires are dangerous.
The Electrical World says that electric
lights have been in use ten years, that
they number 200,000 in this country
alone, and yet less than fifty persons
have been killed by them, w r hile every
year sees in America scores of deaths
from gas alone. The same paper says
that tlie arc light is dangerous, but so is
a steam engine, an elevator, or a buzz
saw, and that all these things simply call
for proper precautions. “As to all the
talk about burying the wires, it has
nothing to do with the case. It never
will prevent such occurrences any more
than the fact that the gas mains are
under the streets prevents some persons
from blowing out the gas.”
The following interesting particulars
with regard to the manufacture of
quinine are taken from the London Lan¬
cet: “There are, it is believed, about
eighteen factories of cinchona quinine in
different parts of the world, in addition
to the government factories and planta¬
tions in India, where the mixed ‘bark
alkaloids ’ are prepared to some extent
for local use. Altogether the yearly out¬
put of quinine may be reckoned at about
4,500,000 ounces. The factories com¬
prise one establishment in Holland, two
in England, two in Italy, three in France,
four in the United States and six in
Germany. In addition to these are some
experimental works in Russia, aud these
appear to have proved so great a success
that the Russian Government is now
making preparations for greatly extend¬
ing the cultivation of cinchona in the
vicinity of Tiflis, in the Caucasus. Oper¬
ations are to be conducted • i /
scale.”
GEORGIA, THURSDAY,, JULY 12, 1888.
THE SOUTHERN PINE.
Tho Southern pine is a forest king
Through seasons bright or drear—
He reigns in summer, he reigns in spring,
And the old ago of the year!
The Southern pine has a minstrel's voice
And a proud, commanding mien—
And ho sings the songs of the winds that
smite
Hjs musical boughs of green!
The Southern pine is a forest king
Through seasons bright or drear—
He reigns in summer, ho reigns in spring,
And. thAold ago of the year!
Ah! was it decreed at some ancient hour
Of twilight lone and dim,
That the soul of a monarch, the soul of a
* bard.
Should be given in trust to him?
— iV. if: Hayne, in Youth's Companion.
Tffi WAYS OF ASKING.
<<t cats, , k ... ei tears! Niobe . dissolved! .
£ V,.- ‘ cblld > what 01) «eai-th is the
4 , of afternoon. ,. w. Place:
l ie: a summer
a pretty boudoir, furnished in the fashion
ol to day, modeled on thestyle of Louis
Quinze, with a dash of “Liberty” thrown
in, and modern accessories, such as
crystal llower vases, three-volume novels,
and photograph stand, juxtaposed with
Queen Anne silver and kuick knacks
ancient and modern. Dramatis Personae:
a graee ; ul figure in white, flung on the
l.oor with an air of desolation by the
so delicious a, her little charming neck visible beneath
rows of golden curls, her
name shaken by sobs; an older woman
s an mg a few yards distant, dark,
beautifully dressed “good-looking
iiough itoi anything without being
distinctly handsome, aged somewhere
am iii tae right side of thirty, and
wearing an expression half compas-
sionate, half amused There is a sus-
picion of raillery m her voice, which is
e * nc GC ^ J r cse,lte( l by the fair sor-
r .-^ \ n S el ls oi ten akin to sorrow,
as pity is to love, and the voice which rc-
spouds to the question when reiterated
is decidedly petulant.
V >j^° U wou ‘ d »° awa y an< I leave
me ;i !q
“I shall do nothiiur n nf tl.o ^ic sort, or .-f >> re-
turns tlin ie ntimr “tvr. i.i l am going to talk
to you, and 1 do flot care in the least
Whether you are augry or not, although
I had much rather von U would take my
remarks in ° n-ond nnri »
“Oh” n. responded Yi the v voice, ■ still ■
smothered in Lie sofa cushions, but los-
ng nothing of its resentful quality. “1
think that‘vou ca/n* can manage 1 n™’ every that ones y °, U
-
^ ^ dea better than them-
selves .i. ”
c m , eD , ^ „ . to , be , a ‘‘nasty one,”
. matter of fact does
‘ a it not fall
l ^.P £a ® aa tly on the ears of her inter-
1 J. jUt ske sits down on the sofa
, plies with . good humor: “Well, my
v ’ ma y confidently affairs say that 1 could
manage your a great deal better
than you manage them yourself, and that
if I were you 1 would have Mr. Clement
Lascelies at my feet in a very short time.”
Peihaps the you have him there now,”
says prostrate one, Ceasing to sob and
trying to sneer instead.
“Well, Dolly, dear, to tell you the
truth, I fail myself to recognize in that
young man the charm which I observe he
has for—for some people; indeed, I
consider him a poseur, with anexaspera-
tmglv good opinion of himself, and, if
you ask my candid opinion, I think that
he would be ali the better for beino*
kic--” °
I orothy flounces up in a moment. “I
will trouble you not to insult my friends,”
she cries, with flaming cheeks. “And it
is not very easy to believe your sincerity
when he was sitting in your pocket ail
last night, and you were out walking 1
with him for two hours this morning ”
“In any case,” replies Mrs. Dalton
coolly, “your remarks prove that I have
had time and opportunity to form an
opinion of his qualities. I don’t deny
that he is good looking, but it is intoler¬
able that he should be so conscious of it.
I admit that he is not without a certain
amount of cleverness, and has been fairly
w-ell educated; but I violently object to
mL t h k peo,5e 8 gL a dck-al^older ’ “ami
t on a
cleverer than hira-elf ”
“On you, for instance!” cries Dolly
“No, I was not thinking impeachment of myself
(the though I admit the soft Feast):
what one I dislike regarding my age, at and
most of ail is his placing
himself on a pedestal to be looked at and
longed for by—by pretty, silly little
girls, who ought to know better.”
Dolly stiffens her back, and says, with
an differently assumption of dignity which sits in¬
well upon her. “If you will
excuse me I should prefer not discussing
Mr. Lascelies with you. You are per¬
fectly welcome to your opinion of him,
and I claim the liberty of retaining
mine.” Then, her majesty toppling over”
she says, of vindictively, voice. in quite a differ¬
ent tone “Perhaps you think
I’m such a fool that I don’t see through
your mean abuse of him?”
“That I may win and wear him mv
self?” suggests Mrs. Dalton quite nood
child, humoredly. “No, my dear and acute
believe me, you have not fathomed
and unmasked, my baseness this time, j
knoivyour dear and sensitive little heart
is set upon tjiis fascinating young man.
I don’t think there is really any harm in
him, and I am magnanimous enough to
l^s ready to show you how to obtain his
affections, stead and to make him suppliant in-
of you.”
flames “Suppliant!” cries Dolly, with fresh
from her burning heart ascending
to her cheeks.
i t i es, suppliant. Every love,
see-—he most of all—how one, my
can you hang
upon his smiles, and despair when he is
indifferent or capricious. ” j
YY rath makes Dolly absolutely sjicech-
less. If loeks, &e., Ac., Mrs. Dalton
wouidc Ac., Ac.
“WE SEEK THE REWARD OF HONEST LABOR.”
“Don’t be a goose, suffered Dolly.” resumes visi¬
her friend, not having any
ble injury from the lightning subjected. glances “Keep to
which she has been
your temper, and reap the advantages of
my superior age and experience. ”
“Keep them to yourself,” retorts Dolly
tartly.
“The first I must, whether or no, but
the latter shall be yours. Come, dear
child, you know I am fond of you; be¬
lieve me when I say I would not have
your enchanter as a gift, and also that I
am desirous to see him subjugated promise, and bv
you. He shall be yours, I
I will only make one condition.”
Dolly seats herself on the sofa, and
allows Mrs. Dalton to take her hand,
though she looks rather sulky. Still,
she does, poor little the girl, first regard prize Mr. in
Clement Lascelies as
the marriage lottery, and she is willing the to
take upon herself her part of con¬
tract; to worship him with lier mind,
and endow him* with all her wordly
goods. Eor in a small way she is an
heiress, though he is not destitute of
money, and has an excellent position.
Truth to tell, the young man is not
what is called “a bad sort;” he has
good looks, good brains, and good
manners, when he is not egged tlatterics on to of
taking liberties by the silly him
the other sex. Poor Dolly loves
madly, and has innocently shown her
*
sufferings at his neglect. Mrs. Dalton
having words, paused to give due effect is to her
Dolly, after a moment, ‘Well?” con-
strained to say rather sulkily: ‘
“You must take ihe vowiirst.”
“What vow?” with latent irritation,
“The vow never to tell any human be-
ing—Mr. Lascelle least of all, that I, or,
for the matter of that, any one, advised
yon how to act toward him.”
“Oh, of course, I promise.” her parable,
Mrs. Dalton take 3 up
“Clement is really fond of you—he if
would be exceedingly fond of you you
ouly allowed him.” 1” Dollv.
“If I allowed him gasps
“Yes,” repeats lier adviser. “By al-
lowing self his him, head, I don’t and mean showing throwing him your- that
at
V ou adore him; but by making him
doubt your love and his own capacity
for pleasing you. Different men want
different treatment. There is nothing and know so
delightful to some as to see
that a woman cares for them—it adds
tenfold to their devotion for but I
am bound to say that these men are in
tne the minoritv minority. Most Most of oi them tnemare m-p far iarmore more
stimulated by doubts and fears the
woman becomes more detf as she seems
more distant, and, as a rule, when a man
i s liters by o-a/v *d-out one of our sex, it
is because she has worried and tormented
and kc P t him u P on a perpetual balance
between hope and fear. Now, you, anu
others like you, have so and hung words,have upon
Clement Lascelles’s looks
so positively shown intellect, him that rival he is to a
great being, a lofty a
Apollo, that it is not likely he is worshiip- com ing
off his pedestal to worship his
ers. Your only chance, my dear, is
abandon your worship; to counterfeit i»
difference as best you may, and to let a
gradual him and that startling conviction really comi in
over you were not
earnest after all.”
“It is very easy to talk,” pouts Dolly.
“It is very easy to act, too,” returns
Marian, “if you are campaign positively is going ceitain
that your plan of to
be successful.”
“How do I know that it will be?”
“Try it for twenty four hours, and
see how it works.” '
“But I don’t know what I am to do. *
“You must be absolutely guided by
me, and not act one moment on your
own responsibility.” it will out all wrong,”
“1 dare say turn
says Dolly, ungraciously, “and that I
shall lose him altogether.” replies Mrs. Dalton, los¬
“Ail right,” and ris from her
ing patience like. After ng all, what seat.
“Do as you on
earth does it matter to me whether you
are happy or miserable? Go your own
way.” and catches her
Dolly springs up by
the arm. “No, no, Marian, don't go;
don’t be angry. I will do whatever you
tell me.”
“Then hearken and obey. Dick
Wyndham is coming to-night. Talk You
know he is rather fond of you. to
1)0 n™’ not T d S \° lance him 111 - ° n Mr ' y ’ f I- ast ‘’u elles’s e , ve direc- ™S-
-
tion A 1 Wll i kec) > m /. eyc ^ hi «?. nd re ‘
P ° rtt £ y0U h , °- W 1 if takuS Jt ' ]f h C ap i
i hC - l0 , , , bored
tClS" pr< TrT ^ "(TT’ J ° ,° ^ m0,1 °'
’
At * sha11 if ii nCVerbe i ablc ,, t0 , d ■, ° .. „ ^ roans
n y
’
“Not with such a big stake to win?”
(a little sarcastically.) don’t what it is
“Ah! you know to
love?” cries Dolly.
( * Not as you do, certainly,” retorts
Marian, with an inflection of voice which
Dolly is not acute enough to catch.
Dick YVyndham arrives in time for
dinner. He is rather fond of Dolly—
he is exceedingly hard up, and wants
her money even more than her sweet
self. He is bright and amusing, has a
considerable fund of small talk, is do-
voted to sport, and has not Mr. Lascel-
lcs ’ s aesthetic taste or lofty manner of
showing superiority. He has a genuine
contempt for a man who talks art and
plays classical music, as Mr. I.ascelles
has for one who thinks of nothing but
hunting, lawn tennis and polo, though
he rides fairly straight and is an average
sh °t himself.
Not a little disgusted is Lascelies,
therefore, when Dolly, whose sorrowful-
ness and its cause have greatly soothed
his complacency for the last twenty-four
hours, seems to have eyes and ears for no '
on e but this half-witted soldierat dinner.
She is looking charming which in a dress has of a j 1
delicious apricot tint, he not
seen before if he (he could is a only great catch connoisseur her no r- j
dre ; 8); cy
would beam on her one of those
which would have intoxicated her maiden ;
S oul. But, whereas it has been his wont [
to meet lier tender, pleading to-night glnnoei
every two minutes heretofore,
he*nvght be Ban.]no’s ghost, and she one
of Macbeth's guests, for all she seems to
see him. His memory serves him up
various sneering and savage femme quotations vnrie.
on the theme of souvent
He is so little congenial to his neighbor
at dinner that she expresses the most un-
fqvorablo sentiments regarding him in
the drawing room later on,causing defend Dolly
to halt between the desire to
him hotly and a sense of plcast.ro licit
some one besides herself lias suffered
from his coldness. Mrs. Dalton makes a
pretext for calling Dolly aside.
i “Excellent, ,ny love!" sho cries, in
high good humor, pressing the girl’s
atm. “Ho is enraged beyond measure.
lie scarcely took his eyes off you. Do
on and prosper ."
Thus stimulated, Dolly does go on,
nud prospew exceedingly. approach When simul* Mr.
LNisceUcs and Dick
tancoysly she devotes her whole atten¬
tion to the latter, and has presently scarcely a
word for the former, who tc-
tiros in tragic dudgeon, and leans against Lord
the wall looking like Hamlet,
Byron, or any other blighted being in
the .milks. I.ascelles
•'t'p to this moment necessity Clement for putting
has not seen any
his fate to the touch, because he has been
absolutely certain of -winning; but rival, now
that for the first time he has a a
rival who is progressing by leaps and
bounds in his lady’s favor, he sees that
something must he done, He enmiot
have been befooled.
V.'ith gloomy brow and stately step he
retires from the smoking room and seeks
the solitude of bis chamber, but not of
his couch. The dawn has long broken
ere lie. courts repose.
“Ma.w.tB " cries Dolly, a few hours
latjer, bursting into her friend’s room
while that lady—no early riser at the
best of times—still nestles among her
pillows, “road this!" and she seats her¬
self on the bed in a state of great excitc-
m*ut, while Mrs. Dalton languidly hands.
pd uses the letter thrust into her
•I call it great impertinence!” Dolly. she re¬
marks, returning it to
“Impertinence!” with wide-open eyes.
Sack, “Certainly.” and Mrs. Dalton, taking
it quotes from it:
‘-Though I cannot pretend to offer you the
one great passion of a life—sad passages be-
yond the ken of other which mortals surrounded have tarnished
the ,P«™ lustre once my
soul as with a halo—yet, if you will take a
, ieart vvea ry with the sorrows of the ages,
dimmed by the darkling doubts with which
an intimate knowledge of humanity clouds
the spirit, take me to your tender breast and
J?. 61110 ahe j k ‘‘ V.'-'i W 1 '" frora life ’ s Briefs heart and
Strf dj?aPPOjntments ..^'omakelo hat recompense sympathy a W1 1
your angelic mid
”
“Is it not beautiful?” cries Dolly in an
ecstusu “I wonder what he means? I
suppose some woman threw him over
loncei”
“I think it is exceedingly impertinent,
r dl hope you will resent it.”
Mtesent it!” almost shrieks Dolly.
> by, it is a declaration!”
jfe-Get me my blotting book off that
ole,” commands Mrs. Dalton resolutely,
plow,” she says, beginning to write,
you will answer it in this way or I wash
y hands of you, and to-morrow he will
• 1 v0 reduced you to abject misery
ain.”
.pfie writes hurriedly for a few minutes,
.ff then with heightened color reads the
'■raft aloud:
I ... Oear Mr. Lascelies: r
1 have received your melancholy letter, have
And am truly sorry for all you stem to
suffered. But, for my part, I look upon the
world as a very pleasmt place, and have
made up my mind to enjoy myself as much
as possible: so, ns I could not console would you.
and you, with the ideas you express,
make me miserable, 1 think you had much
better look for somebody whose temperament
is more like your own. I suppose you mean
me to understand that* you have been much
more in lovo with some one else than you
are with mo, which, No! to say the have least, is not
very flattering. I a must an un-
divided heart or none at all.
Your sincere friend, D. 8.
There is a desperate fight between
Mrs. Dalton and Dolly before the latter
can be persuaded to copy and forward
what she considers a heartless and flip¬
pant missive. In the end Marian tri¬
umphs. Mr. Lascelies does not appear
at breakfast, and Dolly, though her soul
quakes within her, laughs and talks to
Dick.
Later in the evening, when they are
playing lawn tennis, Clement Lascelies,
feelirg much smaller than he has ever
done in his life, seeks counsel from Mrs.
Dalton. YVith an angelic smile daggers she and al¬
ternately pricks him with
makes him gulp down bowls excellent of poison; by
she does him an turn
taking a good deal of the nonsense out
llim * He confesses that he adores Dolly,
How, oh, how, is he to win her? Has
he a ghost of a chance?
M r s - Dalton, looking solemn, declares
hp r inability . to reply to this. She
hints at Dolly’s youth and love of
amusement. She hints, too, at Dick’s
unflagging good of spirits it that and when temper, Dick
-^ n< ^ the upshot is,
returns, crestfallen, from his afternoon
Hde with Dolly, having spoken and re-
ceived his answer, Clement Lascelies
carries off the young lady to her boudoir
on pretence and, of replacing wanting the to be melancholy shown some- of
thing, the
Hamlet by conquering airs of young
Lovelace, takes her in his arm-', swears
he has been a fool, and has really never
!ove ^ ar, Y 0Ile hut her sweet self, and
that if she accepts him lier life shall be
on c sweet round of pleasure,
U,T. ty ml " utC8 later Do >>' has Passed
0Da bls earl hiace;j, and , more, to Marian.
lr c evc i r you are darling: she
. ;
3a X?’ y *r»
1 ° whlcdl M ”' Dalton u. T epliesN °w
you < f ow h° w to manage , him, . make good
Use c f y° ur knowledge. —London World.
\ JJobinson - said - that “no country
advanced to the highest grade of
civilization, but what aci^anced over a
grass sod.”
$1.00 Per Annum, In
SOME MODERN v
THE FINANCIAL M
LATTkiA
Tho Rothschild >
of England—T
ury Surplus,
The financial w<
world, immcasui
vaunted enginee.
ancients, may be
1, liaising (1
funds: In five j
States governmeu
of $5,011,818,908.
ness at any one t
1865, when the n
845,907,626. TL
were obtained '
known unfamiliar only with a pe
u
a grand scale. home—t) Ti¬
mken at
the nation not in a.,
rection—and their pi
progressed, and subsequent form out liqu-'
markable chapters ’
tory of the World.
institution' 2. The Bank founded of England. the
in y L
giew in time to be the governmeu.
agent of the British nation, and the cliii
financial power of the w-orld. Its pres.
Slit total capital is something over $80,- than
000,000 and its deposits are more current in
$150,000,000. Its notes are
every civilized country, and whenever
the Bank of England changes its rate of
interest quotations are effected at every
financial centre of the world. The bank
practically manages the entire though public has
debt of Great Britain, and it
occasionally suspended specie payment is
regarded as an impregnable institution,
beyond the serious effect of all mortal
vicissitudes.
8. American railroads: Since the first
railroad was built in the United States
there lias been a total investment tip to
the end of the year 1887 of over $8,600,-
000,000, and the earnings for last year
were about $000,000,000. During the
year new lines costing about $ 100,0 )0,000
were constructed. The total length of
lines now finished is something one-half more
than 145,000 miles, or nearly ot
all the entire world. The total capital
stock of all the roads is over $4,000,000,-
000 and the funded debt about $3,850,-
000,000. Evidently the American rail¬
way system is entitled to a place among
the financial marvels of the age.
4. Paying the German war indemnity:
The German government early in 1871
exacted from France an indemnity ol
fi-.-a milliards of francs, or about one
b llion dollars, as a penalty defeated for having in
precipitated and having been
the war then just closed. Five years,
with interest at 5 per cent, annually until
it was paid, was allowed for its settle¬
ment. But French patriotism responded
so thoroughly that the whole vast sum,
amounting, principal and interest, to
nearly $1,180,000,000, was raised by
popular subscription and paid iu little
“yer two and a half
5, The American treasury surplus:
The United States government is unique
among nations in that its present legal
income is some $50,000,000 more than is
required for all its expenses, including
interest on the public debt and the requi¬
site contributiou to the sinking fund.
The excess of receipts over all expendi¬
tures has gone on until there is now a
surplus of almost $200,000,000, the dis¬
bursing of which and the correct check¬
ing of further additions thereto create a
problem in governmental finance as im¬
portant as Rothschild it is unprecedented. family: Thehistory
0. The
ind status of this family must be in¬
cluded among the financial wonders of
the world. Early in the present century
Ansclf Rothschild was a fairly prosper¬ had the
ous banker in Frankfort. He
confidence of William, elector of Ilessc-
Cassel, to such an extent that when the
latter was driven from his principality $5,000,-
by Napoleon ho intrusted some
000 with Rothschild. The latter in¬
vested this honorably and wisely, turn¬ his
ing it over in trust in due tunc to
children, who seventeen years later paid
it hack with yearly interest at 2| per
cent, to the elector when he returned.
The five children managed Vienna, great bank¬ Lon¬
don, ing-houses Paris in Frankfort, Naples, and became
and so
rich and influential that a European gov¬
ernment could hardly Rothschilds venture to engage be¬
in a war if the were
lieved to be unfriendly. The combined
wealth of the family has never been
known, but recent imperfect estimates
place it at something like $800,000,000.
This is but an approximation, however,
the only thing known for certain being
that the Rothschilds are tho richest
family that everexisted .—Chicago Tima
Feeding Horses in Norway.
A traveler in Norway says that the
horses in that country have a very
sensible way of taking their food, which
perhaps might be beneficially followed
here. They have a bucket of water put It
down bes:de their allowance of hay.
is interesting to see with what relish they
take a sip of the one and a mouthful of
the other alternately, sometimes oniy
moistening their mouths, as a rational
being would do while eating a dinner of
such dry food. A broken-winded horse
is scarcely ever seen in Norway, and the
question is if the mode with of the feeding has
not something to do preserva¬
tion of the respiratory organs.— Scien¬
tific American.
Dot’s Wish.
“ She never gets a scolding, bed,
She’s never sent to
She hasn’t got when a napkin she's fed;
Put on her
She Tells plays with me, yet no one noise;’
her, ‘ Don’t make a
X sometimes wish my dolly
Was me and I was Newark toys.” Journal
.
W
>
crop.
Chestnut
thing.
When the tailor go.
ind us I ry.
A blind teacher would naturally have
bad pupils.
If one were his own dentist ho might
have teeth extracted without payin’.
The undertaker may not boast of his
athletics, but he’s something of ft boxer.
“J cannot sing the old songs
I sang Jong years ago” —
Whereat a eh erl'ul friend remarked:
‘-Thank Heaven lhat is so.”
She (happily)—“Aren’t the oyslc s
delicious, C.eorge?” lie (apprehensively) crackers.
—“Yes; and so are the Best
I ever ate!”— Ticl-Biti.
As the man in the moon gets full he
shines larger and brighter. The man on
earth who gets full simply gets red in
tho lace, and—foolish.
Beer is not generally considered an
expensive drink, but a little porter on a
drawing-room car will often cost you
half a dollar .—Nw York News.
French as She is Spoke.—Patron Brie (to
restaurant waiter)- “Got any
cheese?” Waiter (astonished)—“Only Mail.
the pair I’ve got on .—Hotel
“Can anything settle the servant gill
question?” asks a weary housekeeper.
To which we respecfully reply: “Yes,
the kerosene cun .”—New York Mercury.
Papa (of Calvanistic faith, has just
heard that Mollie was at the theatre last
evening)—“Good morning, daughter of
Satan ” Mollie—“Good morning, fath¬
er.”— Life.
♦.'here are 1010 medicines in the
pharmacop a of the L nited States, and
in most communities there is one man
who has tried every one of ihem before
discovering that there never was any¬
thing the matter with him.
Father (to would-be son-in-law)—•
“Young man, will you be able to take
care of my daughter in the style in
which she has always been accustomed?”
Young Man—“I’ll guarantee it, sir, or
return the girl ."—New York Ban.
“None of your sauce to me, miss,”
said the man who must have his little
joke, with an assumption of brusque¬
ness. as the waiter girl was about to
place a dish of marmalade beside his
plate at supper .—Detroit Frecl 'r s\
“Another big wash out on our line!”
exclaimed the rad road employe’s the string in¬
dustrious whitened helpmeet, clothes pointing which to stretched
of
from their back window to a house
across the way .—Detroit Free Brets.
“Would the ladies be in favor of a
uniform marriage law, do you think?”
asked a member of Congress of one of
his fair constituents; and she replied:
“Very likely, if the uniform were a
pretty one and had a handsome man in
it.”
“Ha, hal IIow do you feel now?”
asked one fly of another, which had
been caught on a piece of trying exterminator wade
paper, ami was in vain to
through the general stickiness, “Glue
me,” was the brief reply .—Pittsburg
Chronicle.
“This is very strange,” remarked
Billy Bliven, thoughtfully, after lie had
tasted the contents of his butter-dish;
“very strange indeed.” “What is
strange?” “That such delicate, pale
butter should turn out to be so robust.”
—Merchant Traveler.
“I am surprised, Bobby,” said his
father, reprovingly, “that you should
strike your brother. Don’t you know
that it is cowardly to hit one smaller
than yourself?” “Then why do you hit
me, pa?” inquired the boy with an air
of having the better of it.— Epoch.
“Whose picture is that?” asked the
new owner of a Nebraska opera-house of
an artist who had been told to decorate
the building according replied to his the own taste.
“Shakespeare! “Shakespeare’s,” Who’s that? Never artist.
heard of him. Paint it out and put my
picture there.”— Graphic.
At Cannes, in front of a small boot¬
maker's shop, the English tourist may
find the following inscription in his own
language: “Repairs hung with stage
coach.” After long and anxious thought
ho may arrive at the cobbler's meaning,
who only wishes to inform his numerous
patrons that “repairs are executed with
diligence.”
