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“Do. Or do not. There is no try. ” - Yoda
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The Progress
Editorial
May 14,2020
From the Staff
To the Class of 2020:
“You cannot be both young and wise”
Congratulations on your graduation.
We’re certain it’s not shaping up to be like
you expected unless you read a lot of
dystopian fiction. No one ever said they
couldn’t wait to throw their cap in an al
most empty school as part of a virtual cer
emony.
In times like these, it’s hard to know
what advice to offer graduates, so we’ll
rely on some of the best commencement
speeches ever. If you are interested in
finding more, check “best pieces of advice
to graduates” on businessinsider.com.
• "If you're offered a seat on a rocket
ship, don't ask what seat. Just get on."
Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg, Harvard
Business School, 2012.
• "Ditch the dream and be a doer, not a
dreamer... You just have to keep moving
forward. You just have to keep doing
something, seizing the next opportunity,
staying open to trying something new. It
doesn't have to fit your vision of the per
fect job or the perfect life. Perfect is bor
ing and dreams are not real." Television
producer and author Shonda Rimes,
2014, Dartmouth College.
• “If it doesn't feel right, don't do it.
That's the lesson. And that lesson alone
will save you, my friends, a lot of grief.
Even doubt means don't. This is what I've
learned. There are many times when you
don't know what to do. When you don't
know what to do, get still, get very still,
until you do know what to do." Oprah
Winfrey, Stanford University, 2008.
• "You can't connect the dots looking
forward. You can only connect them look
ing backwards. So, you have to trust that
the dots will somehow connect in your fu
ture. You have to trust in something —
your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.
This approach has never let me down, and
it has made all the difference in my life."
Steve Jobs, Stanford, 2005.
• "Will saying 'yes' lead you to doing
some foolish things? Yes it will. But don't
be afraid to be a fool. Remember, you
cannot be both young and wise." Stephen
Colbert, Knox College, 2006
• We're taught that "growing up means
leaving the herd, starting up the long es
calator to isolation [but it that's not neces
sarily true].... As you leave here,
remember what you loved most in this
place .... I mean the way you lived, in
close and continuous contact. This is an
ancient human social construct that once
was common in this land. We called it a
community. We lived among our vil
lagers, depending on them for what we
needed." Barbara Kingsolver, Duke Uni
versity, 2008.
• “Our problems are manmade —
therefore, they can be solved by man. And
man can be as big as he wants." John F.
Kennedy, American University, 1963.
• “Your life will be full of setbacks —
how you handle them will make all the
difference. So you have to stick with it.
You have to be persistent.” Barack
Obama, Rutgers University, 2016.
To close, Churchill, speaking here after
Britain entered World War II, strikes the
perfect tone for courage.
• “You cannot tell from appearances
how things will go. Sometimes imagina
tion makes things out far worse than they
are; yet without imagination not much can
be done. Those people who are imagina
tive see many more dangers than perhaps
exist; certainly many more than will hap
pen; but then they must also pray to be
given that extra courage to carry this far-
reaching imagination. Never give in.
Never give in. Never, never, never, never
— in nothing, great or small, large or
petty — never give in, except to convic
tions of honor and good sense. Never
yield to force. Never yield to the appar
ently overwhelming might of the enemy."
Winston Churchill, Harrow School, 1941
Tell us your thoughts with a letter to the editor. E-mail to news@pickensprogress.com
See letter submission guidelines on the Letters to the Editor page or call us 706-253-2457.
Ponderings of a Simple Man
By Caleb Smith
Exercise or Extra Fries?
I’ve always had a little bit
of extra padding around the
middle. Not necessarily fat, I
was what most people would
call ‘husky’ or ‘big boned’.
Being stuck at home for the
past few weeks hasn’t helped
that in the least.
My wife, either out of a
desire to see me happy or as
part of a calculated plan to
collect life insurance money
when I collapse face first in
my biscuits and gravy, has
made sure that all of my fa
vorite snacks and foods are
well stocked for the duration
of quarantine.
The problem with this is
that my favorite foods are all
chock full of sugars and
trans-fats and all the other
things scientists are saying is
bad for us. My average diet
would be considered a viola
tion of the Geneva conven
tion if it were forced on
prisoners of war.
The end result is that my
weight has ballooned over
the past few months. Now
people use adjectives like
‘jolly’ or ‘Santa Clause-
esque’ or (unkindly) ‘like a
pig stood up on its back legs
and grew a beard’.
Something had to change.
So I decided to go on a diet.
It seems like every month
I’m trying out a new one only
to quickly give it up. All diets
have the same problem,
there’s never enough food!
Finally I found a loop
hole; you just need to go on
two or three diets at the same
time.
One diet allows bread, an
other diet allows cheese. Try
both diets at the same time
and you can have it all. Hon
estly, I’m surprised more
people haven’t caught on to
this little trick.
It makes logical sense too.
If one diet will help you lose
10 pounds a month, then two
diets should help you lose 20!
It’s just simple math.
After I fixed the problem
of food, I had to make some
decisions about exercise.
Leaping to conclusions, run
ning my mouth, and pushing
people away doesn’t burn as
many calories as you might
think. I had to come up with
an incentive to haul myself
out of my chair and start
sweating.
The solution, as is so often
the case, presented itself in
my wife. After a bit of inge
nuity, not to mention persua
sion, I finally rigged up a
reward system for myself.
My wife would sit on the
couch with a fishing rod with
a donut at the end of the line.
I would then have her raise
and lower the donut as I did
pushups, my head following
the treat.
Unfortunately these ses
sions always devolved into
me laying on my back and
pawing at the donut like a
cat, so it’s back to the draw
ing board again.
[Caleb Smith is a Pickens na
tive. He can be contacted at
jcalebsmith90@yahoo.com.
Look for his Ponderings from A
Simple Man in book form at
Amazon.com.]
(USPS 431-820)
Published by Pickens County Progress, Inc.
94 North Main Street, Jasper, GA 30143
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www.pickensprogressonline.com
DAN POOL
Publisher/Editor
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Laura’s Car: A mechanic dad goes full
circle during COVID-19
By Bill Mitchell
There we were nearly 20
years later. In that same park
ing lot where my daughter
Laura’s car had broken down
again. I looked over at the
same spot where it had hap
pened. I could almost hear
the conversation, her hood
propped up and me glaring
angrily at the stubborn old
Volvo that wouldn’t start.
I had flown to her rescue
so many times for the same
issue. That old car’s problem
kept tormenting me.
Years later, I figured out
that the new relays I had put
in her car were almost 100
percent of the time defective.
Cheap Chinese knock-offs.
Junk right out of the box. A
mechanic’s nightmare. I let
her borrow my car and I
stayed with hers, trusting my
auto repair skills to get her
car running and get me home.
Off she drove in my car with
a load of pizzas from Papa
John’s next to the Waffle
House on Highway 5.
Eventually I did get home
in that trouble car. It was so
long ago for the memory to
be so fresh. What irony that I
found myself here in that
same parking lot last night.
My wife and I deliver for
Door Dash every night ex
cept Sunday. We leave the
Lord’s Day as a sacrifice to
Him and to reflect on His
great worthiness - a day of
rest that we need. Otherwise
we drive every night because
suddenly we have to. We
have a mortgage to pay and
times have been a little tough.
Auto repair just hasn’t been
as good as it once was. (Ok.
Maybe it’s my age a little bit
too. The fingers just don’t
move as well as they used
to.) Then two months ago,
business at the shop I’ve been
working at for 35 years all
but stopped. Covid-19! The
flu from China. Same place
those junky relays came
from. Suddenly I’m taking
home a quarter of what I used
to. All the new cars and mo
torcycles my wife and I had
are gone and the house needs
some repairs, but we are get
ting by.
We have a couple of old
Volvos that I keep running.
Nice old cars. Back when my
daughters drove pizza deliv
ery I would yell at them all
the time because driving de
livery tears old cars up and I
would have to fix them al
most weekly, it seemed. Ro
tors and pads, water pumps,
timing belts, oil leaks, and
sometimes it was serious.
Both of our daughters have
since made us so proud. Our
oldest, Angie, has become a
journalist, and Laura is a
nurse. Funny though, they
still drive older cars.
Two weeks ago my fa
vorite old Volvo wagon burnt
a valve. It had 335,000 miles
on it and the stress of deliv
ering killed it. Now we’re
down to just one car. It’s got
much lower mileage, but
after a week my daughter
Laura loaned us a car they
didn’t need. I didn’t want to
accept - you know, ego and
pride, but I agreed. We used
it last night to Door Dash.
My wife and I call it “dash
ing.” Kinda’ pretend it’s a
date.
When the Papa John’s
order came in it didn’t fully
register with me where we
were going. Then we pulled
into the parking lot and all
the memories hit me. There
was that same spot in the
parking lot I had stood so
long ago with my pizza deliv
ery daughter, loaning her a
car because delivery destroys
old cars, and I’m in a car she
loaned to me because driving
delivery had destroyed one of
my old cars. My face felt
numb and for a moment I
couldn’t hear my wife Donna
asking “Honey, what’s the
name on the order? Honey!
Honey?”
[Canton resident Bill
Mitchell has been a mechanic
38 years. For most of those
years he worked exclusively
on Volvos. His daughter, An
gela Reinhardt, is a reporter
for this newspaper.]
WEATHER
By William Dilbeck
HI LOW RAIN
May
5
73
47
.32
May
6
62
36
.00
May
7
58
44
.01
May
8
65
43
.00
May
9
73
50
.00
May
10
56
54
.00
May
11
66
58
.21
Contact
our editor
706-253-2457
dpool@pickensprogress.com
THE HEW 2020 V0TIN6 MACHINE