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NATURE’S FIREWORKS.
An occurrence flint Im- taken
place ut A mien.' hli< ■ • - that where
there exists an cle trieal >■ tabli-h
--ment of any size nothin/ more than
a good robust th inJer-torm i mod
ed for providing a display of not i.* 1
fireworks on a scale tl t leave
nothing to bo desired in tin; way of
largeness. Aroused by u.ia-aai
noises in the factory diiricrn storm
the other night, the mu r of the
electrical work' at th ’ n v.a
met by a wonderful 'pci ta |e on en
tering the place. No artificial di
|>iny ever pre ented n scene o fair
- Tremendous slmwer of sparks
were being given of!' from every
machine in the place, while there
was a deafening crackling a if from
a hundred sputtering lira tea
rhino man had soon hi food b rn 1
to it cinder a- lie sat to eat it, all the
electric hell were -oaialin r ;. d
telephone had been wrenclnd from
tlie wall, 'i’he riirre t f:d to I" 1
shut off lie fore order re tored.
Next day everythin;: worked ih
smoothly as if there had been no dis
turbance.—London fllol-e.
Bermuda's Ideal Government.
The Bermudan* govern them
selves under a veto power which i
practically never exerted. Th>'ir
constitution is nlmo t ideal. Ilern
is n little world of its own, with a
population of 17,000 souls. The
good citizens elect their representa
tives to a home of a- emhly and
they administer the affair-, of the
colony with economy, justice and
success. Here, ns in every English
colony, one is impress'd with the
great respect for the law. Like
many of the Indian islands,
the Bermudas have almost no crime.
The two jails ut St. (leorge and
Hamilton look like summer hoard
ing houses, and Chnrle- Dudley
Warner tried to become u “paying
guest” with the jailer at St. tieorge,
to share his pleasant tropical home
and relieve his lonesomelincss and
ennui. : —World’s Work.
“Budding” Antiques.
Manufacturers of spurious an
tique furniture have developed a
new idea to enable them to more
easily dispose of their wares. In
stead of faking the entire piece
from new wood the fraud purchases
a genuine antique, which is duplicat
ed in his factory, a dozen copies be
ing made. To each piece is allotted
a single section of the original.
In the sale the attention of the
buyer is particularly directed to this
part, and ns he is soon convinced
of the genuineness of the claim the
sale is more easily made than when
the entire piece has been faked.
The process is called “budding.”—
New York Herald.
Hli Own Son.
An, anecdote is told of Richard
Seddon, the late premier of New
Zealand. lie was very active in
sending troops to the assistance of
Great Britain in the South Af
rican war. On one occasion he was
taunted by an opposition member
with his readiness to sacrifice the
lives of the colony’s manhood. “You
are ready enough to send our sons
and brothers to lie shot at, hut"—
was the opening of a taunt hy his
opponent, when the premier broke
in: “Sir. this morning I signed a
commission for mv own son. Ho
will be shot at, too, and I have dar
ed him to come hack without a
wound.”
France's Political Stability.
It was Bismarck's hope when he
consented to the formation of the
French republic that it would he a
transient and feeble form of govern
ment and would prevent France
from bring ever again n force to
reckon with in Europe. It is thirty
six years since then, and every year
has revealed an advance in security
and strength. France having found
the government which suited her
has shown a contentment with it
which has virtually put the question
outside practical politics.—London
Spectator.
A Fest of Surgery.
New Zealand surgeons have ac
complished a remarkable feat. Har
ley Williams of Wellington was hurt
In an accident which destroyed his
right hand ami burned the sole of
his right foot so that it was impossi
ble for it to heal without a new >kin.
The surgeons strapped the soleless
foot closely to the inside of the left
thigh and allowed it to grow there.
After the foot had grown into the
thigh it was put away, the skin of
the thigh adhering to the foot. The
patient recovered.
A Kentucky Breakfast.
Those who desire to imbibe spirit
uous liquors at n Louisville hotel on
Sunday will be obliged to order a
regular meal with it. This is at
once suggestive of the menu of the
famous Kentucky breakfast, a sir
loin steak, a bottle of whisky and a
dog—the dog to eat the steak.—
Cleveland Plain Dea’* r.
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
Why the Bread Wat Sent Back to the
Baker.
A ho_v who had been working in
a baker s shop for some time was
just about to finish his trade. One
night, when the bo— wu- gone, lie
broke the marble slab lie molded Ins
loaves on, so he went to the marble
yard to secure another, lmt could
not find one. On the way back he
passed a graveyard, and, as it was
very dark, he jumped over and pull
ed up n small headstone about the
right size and took it back and fin
ished lii.s job.
The next day, after the bread had
been delivered, nearly all of it was
sent bar k. The baker looked at it
arid broke several loaves open, but
found nothing wrong. Then he
happened to turn one of the loaves
over and found on the underside of
every loaf this inscription: “Here
lies (he bodv of Mrs. . Born A.
D. KIM-*. Died A. I). FT 10.” Dun
dee Advertiser.
Frayed I ugin—l always carry a
! dub when I’m lookin’ for work.
Hungry Hawkins—Wat for?
Frayed Fag in—ls I ever ketch up
aid il I’ll beat it to death.—Phila
| dolphin Press.
Her Pa’* Guess.
“He writes,” said the heiress,
“that he thinks of me so constantly
that In* can’t half do his work any
more.”
"I suppose,” replied her gruff old
father, “that he’ll think so much of
| you after you’re married that he
j won’t even be able to do the half
lie’s still sticking to.” Chicago
Record- Herald.
Not Expressing Himself.
“What do you think of your mo-
I tor ear now?” asked tlio inconsider
: ate person.
“You must excuse me from rc
) plying,” answered the man with a
desperate look in his eye. “I have
been arrested once for speeding.
There is no use in getting arrested
1 again for profanity.” —Washington
‘ Slur.
Ho Played In Luck.
Neighbors—Enpeek is one of the
luckiest men I know.
Homer—How do you figure that
j out ?
Neighbors—Why. his wife is so
' strongmimled that she never wor
ries him about her troubles with
| hired girls.— Bohemian Magazine.
Never Found Wanting.
“1 hope,” said the facetious cus
tomer to his butcher,” that your
meat is never weighed in the bal
ance and found wanting.”
“No. indeed.” said the up to date
proprietor; “wo alius send people a
pound or two more tliau they or
j dors."- Now York Times.
Fact In the Case.
Singleton A sensible girl is apt
to request the young man she is en
gaged to not to spend so much
money on her.
Mrs. W odder! v—Nos, but she
doesn’t have occasion to make such
a request after marriage.—Detroit
Tribune.
The View of a Cynic.
"You know, they say.” remarked
the sentimental man, “that ‘love is
blind’
“Yes.” interrupted the cynical
bachelor, “but marriage usually re
store' us sight.” Philadelphia
Press.
Best She Could Say.
Toss l understand Miss Crabbe
paid me a compliment last night.
Joes- Not quite, but she came us
near it as you could ever expect
from her. She said you wore charm
ing, but—
—Philadelphia Pres*.
Clearly Defined.
“What.” asked the very young
person, “is your idea of a dude ?”
“A dude.” answered the observer
of things, “is a young gentleman
who tries to behave in a ladylike
manner."—Chicago News.
Raising His Hopes.
“Poetry.” said the editor, “is a
drug on the market.”
"Yes?” replied the poet eagerly.
“Am I to infer then that you pay
drug store prices for it ?”—Boston
Transcript,
THE MONTGOMERY MONITOR—THURSDAY, Ot’T. 4,10 OT,
THE TAFT JOKE WILL LIVE.
Secretary Taft has found his way
into comic papers all over the world
u.i the result of the joke A -o iute
Justice Brewer of the United State.'
supreme court told at the recent
1 Yale commencement. The pi a.-
antrvof the distinguished jurist was
bused oil a compliment he desired
to pay to the chivalry of Yaie men.
“Yale men everywhere are polite,”
said Justice Brewer. “But Secre
tary Taft is the most polite man I
ever saw in my life. Why, the other
day I was in a street car with him,
und he got up and gave his seat to
three women.” Scores of clippings
based on this joke reach the war de
partment every week, it has found
its way into many language', but
the Germans seeifi to a; pro, iate it
most. Many of the German papers
comment on the story at length, and
| say that at last the Yankees seem to
bo developing real wit.—New York j
PO't.
Lazy People Feel the Heat.
According to Professor Morrison
| of the University of Chicago sum- j
j mer is not the logical season for j
taking vacations. As shown by Hie '
action of certain animals in hiber- j
nating, winter is the natural time j
for resting and recuperating from
one’s labors, “The summer heat is :
most enervating to the idlers, the I
loafers, (hose who have nothing to
1 keep thc r minds and bodies busy,
j As proof of this, do we not all feel
i the heat more acutely on Sunday
than on any other day? A 75 de
| gree temperature on Sunday causes
j more suffering than one of 85 de
| greos on Monday. The man or
j woman who keeps busy on a hot day
| would never notice the heat, nine
| times out of ten, were it not for the
I remarks of others who have nothing
| to do but think and talk about the
j weather.” —Pittsburg Times.
From Grain to Bread In Throe Hours.
A record time for converting
! grain into bread has been cstablish
|ed by a Canadian farmer. Wheat
| which was in the sheaf at 3 o’clock
| in the afternoon was made into
j scones before 0 o’clock. When oper- |
j.ntions began, a wagon stood in the
barn with about half a load of grain !
in the sheaf. Beside jt was a ,
I thrasher. Connected with this was i
a gasoline engine. The engine was i
started, the sheaves were fed into |
the thrasher and the grain was de- ;
posited in a bin. The power was j
then transferred to the cleaner, and j
the work of changing the newly j
thrashed wheat into flour was quick- {
!ly carried through. The rest of the !
task was easy.—London Mail.
Too Good For That Table.
John Williams is a Labor member 1
jof the British parliament. Before |
j entering politics he was ordained as 1
j a Congregational minister and still
preaches. ’The other day lie sat
| down at one of the dinner tables of :
the house of commons usually re
| served for members of the ministry !
lor cabinet. “Arc you a minister?” I
asked the waiter. “Yes,” was the
reply. The waiter’s face betokened
| incredulity, but he went away. Pres
ently another waiter came. “Wlmt
department are yoil a minister in?”
he asked. “The gospel depart
ment,” answered Mr. Williams.
“Oh,” said the wjiiter. with a smile,
“you are too good for this table,
sir.”
A Wild Boar.
A young Swiss woodsman hud the
othef'day a life and death struggle j
with a wild boar that would make
any old sportsman’s blood tingle,
lie was cutting wood near Goldswil
when he was suddenly assailed by
the beast, llis first move in self de
fense had to be a violent kir k on the
hoar’s snout, under which the brute
ret ired a fevr paces. Before he could
i charge again the young woodsman
had hurled a log with all his force '
between the hoar’s eyes, completely
stunning him. Then the man seized
a heavy stake and got in liaif a doz
en blows on the skull and the boar
!*** ready for converting into bacon.
Epicure's Lament. -
Nothing now to cat has been dis
covered for several centuries past.
The monotony is not confined to
breakfast. It is equally, if not more
so, felt at lunch and dinner. There
arc disgracefully few animals fit to
eat, and the okapi, which seemed
sent to solve the difficulty, is a bit
ter disappointment, liecause there
are only throe specimens of him
known to exist, and two of these are
stuffed. —London Sketch.
A Procession of Ancients.
The London common council has
just repaired an old tombstone
found in a churchyard at South
wark. Its inscription reads: “Near
this place lies Richard Griffin. Born
at White Church, Salop, the 17 of
May. 1620; interr’d the IS May.
1736. llis eorp was accompanied
from the King' Arms Tttvern on St
Margaret’s Ilill to the grave by 1116
♦qitient people; the oldest pallbearer
95."
t MeQUEEN | MeQUEEN | MeQUEEN McQUEEN %
% ' *
!Summer Passes!
J Fall is Coming. Summer Goods Must Go. See &
* ' uie for Bargains. Good Stock Always on Hand.
I HAY TOOLS AND FARM IMPLEMENTS. I
mC
£ Save the Grass. It will Always lie!]) out the Cotton Crop.
-3}« '
You Save Much More when you make my store £
* #
# Your Trading Place. Old customers all say so. £
•* ' r
— ——— —— ——■—
' jfc SOME LEApiNCt |
New Ho me Sewing %
% Machines and $
I flcCormick *
| _ Mowers. |
-#■ ■ £
Call Early and Look over the List of Bargains in
I ' DRY ROODS, CLOTHING, HATS, |
| SHOES, BUGGIES, WAGONS. §
IW. H. McQUEEN, I
| nt. Vernon, Ga. %
jjfc
,■-*■s. - casa
h
| Selling Out at Cost
| I Harder to Reduce my Very Will also give a discount of-fl
[ Large Stock of Merchandise, 20 per et on other lines, and |
-for the Fall Stock, soon to he with each dollar cash purchase l
coming in, I will Sell All a ticket entitling you to - \
Summer Goods at a drawat the prize of
Actual Cost. 8100 in Gold. I
v jj
Tliis is a Rare Opportunity for the People of this Section to
! BBY GOODS AT COST
AND DRAW GOLD _
■ 'Mi.
t
1 Respectfully ask all who are Interested in Making or in
Saving Money to visit my Store at Once, as I intend Selling
the Goods Regardless of Cost. I have a nice Line to Select
From. A lull and Complete lane of
! SUMMERS’ BARNESVILLE BUGGIES
j AND BROWN WAGONS. ' J
; T!to two Above items l)o Not con.e Under the 20 per cent
discount stock, but are being sold at the Very Best Figures.
Pav Cash and get the Benefit of Large Discounts.
— t
■ ■■ ■
A. A. Peterson, Jr.
i AIUBY, GEORGIA.
1
