Newspaper Page Text
VOL. 111.
Advertising Kates.
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alf column six months 40 00
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Subscribed or not —is responsible for the
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it If a person orders hi« paper discontin
ued, he must pay all arrearages, or the pub
lisher may continue to send it until payment
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whether the paper Is taken from the office or
But.
3. The courts have decided that refusing
to take newspapers and periodicals from the
poitoffice, or removine and leavimr them un
called for, is pnma facie evidence of inten
tiaaal fraud.
TOWN DIRECTORY.
Mayor— Thomas G. Barnett.
Commissioners —W. W. Turnipseed, J. S.
Wyatt, K G. II nrris, E. It. James.
Clerk —K. G Harris.
Treasurer —W. S. Shell.
Marshals —S. A. Beldimr, Marshal.
J. W . Joh son,Deputy.
JUDICIARY.
A. M. Bpeir, - Judge.
b\ D. Dismukr, - - Solicitor General.
Butts—Second Mondays in March and
September.
Henry—Tlnr. Mondays in April and Oc
tober.
Monroe—Fourth Mondays in February,
and August.
Newton—Third Mondays in M*rch and
September.
Pike—Second Mondays in April and Octo
ber.
Rockdale —Monday after fourth Mondays in
March and September
Spalding—First Mondays in February
and August
Upton— First Mondays in May and No
▼smber.
CHURCH DIRECTORY.
Methodist Episcopal Church, (South.)
Ksv. Wesley F. Smith. Castor. Fourth
Sabbath in each month Sunday-school 3
r.u. Prayer meeting Wednesday evening
MrraoDiiT Protestant Church. First
Sabbath in„each month. Sunday-school 9
A. M.
Christian Church, W. S. Fears, Pastor,
fierond Sabbath in each month.
Baptist Church, Rev. J. P. Lyon, Pas
ter. Tbird Sabbath in each month.
CIVIC SOCIETIES
Pink Grove Lodge, No. 177. F. A. M
Stated communications, fourth Saturday in
each month.
DOCTORS.
DR. J. C. TURNIPSEED will attend to
all calls day or night. Office > resi
dence, Hampton, Ga.
7\R. W. FI PEEBLES treats nil die
eases, and will attend to all calls day
and night. Office at the Drug Store,
Broad Street, Hampton, Ga.
»R. N. T. BARNETT tenders bis profes
sional services to the citizens of Henry
and adjoining counties, and will answer calls
day or night. Treats a'l diseases, of what
ever nature. Office at Nipper’s Drug Store,
Hampton, Ga. Night calls can be made at
my residence, opposite Berea church. upr26
JF PONDER, Dentist, has located in
■ Hampton, Ga.. and invites the public to
call at his room, upstairs in the Bivins
Haase, where he will be found at all hours
Warrants all work for twelve months.
LAWYERS.
JNO. G. COLDWELL, Attorney at Law,
Brooks Station, Ga. Will practice in
the counties composing the Coweta anil Flint
River Prompt attention given to
commercial and other collections.
TC. NOLAN, Attorney at Law, Mc
• Donongh, Georgia. Will practice in
the counties composing the Flint Circuit ;
the Supreme Court of Georgia, and the
Uuited Stales District Court.
WM. T. DICKRN, Attorney at Law. Lo~
cust Grove, Georgia, (Henry county )
Will practice in the counties comprising the
Flint Judicial Circuit, the Supreme Court of
Georgia, and the United States District
Court. apr27-ly
GKO. M. NOLAN”, Attofxey at Law.
McDonough, Ga. (Office in Court house)
Will practice in Henry at d adjoining conn
ties, and in the Supreme and District Courts
of Georgia. Prompt attention giv°n to col
lections. mch23-6m
JF. WALL, Attorney at Law. //imp
. ton.Ga Will practice in the coun'ies
composing the Flint Judicial Circuit, and
the Supreme ami District Courts of Georgia.
Prompt attention givee to collections. ocs
J. REAGAN, Attorney at
J law. Office on Broad Street, opposite
the Railroad depot, Hampton. Georgia.
Special attention given to.commercial and
other collections, and cases in Bantsrnptcv.
BF. McCOLLUM, Attorney and Ccun
• sellor at Law, Hampton, Ga W ill
practice in Henry, Clayton, Fayette, Coweta.
Pike, Meriwether, Spalding Hnd Buna Su|)o
rior Courts, and tn the Supreme ai d United
States Courts Collect!!,g claims a specialty.
QffSoe uu stairs in Schaefer's warehouse.
FAINT HEART.
She stood before him, toll and fair
A'J gracious on that summer's day,
With June’s first roses in her hair.
And on her cheek the bloom of May.
Bat rosy cheek, and dm pled chin,
And raven lashes drooping low,
Conceal the answer he would win.
It might be Yes ; would it be No?
Ah, if 'twere No—his throbbing heart
Stood fairly still with sndden pain ;
And if ’twere Yes, the world so wide
His deep content Could scarce contain.
Sio wondrous fair! how could she stoop
To favor such an one as he ?
Ah, sweet suspense that still leaves hope!
Alt, pain of sail uncertainty !
He held her hand so white and small,
And moved to press it with his lips,
But changed his mind and let it fall,
SV ith chillest touch of finger tips.
And took the seat she offered him
Upon the sola by her side.
Nor made the space between them !e=>- - ,
Which seemed so rmriow, yet so wide.
Then gaz : ng on the perfect face,
The dimpled mouth, the serious eyes,
And drinking in with eager ears
The music ol her low replies,
He let the bright hoars drift away,
Nor told the secret nf his heart,
But when the shadows lengthened lay,
Rose, all reluctant, to depa>t.
And stammered forth, with blushing cheek,
An eager, timorous request
That she, lor old acquaintance sake,
Would grant the rosebud fiom her breast.
She gave it him, with downcast eves
And watched him leave her with a sigh.
“So good,’' she said, “so true, so wise ;
Ah, me, if he were not so shy 1”
Atlantic Monthly.
Tlie Witching Weed.
Some authors assert that Ftnoking Hate?
back into antiquity P>c this as it may, wp
can surely truce it back to the aborigines of
America. The fmoking of herbs or leaves
for medicinal purposes lias been practiced
from a very early period in many countries
Inasmuch ns pipes have been dag up in
places neatvthe Roman wall, in the north of
England and at the Roman stations, it has
been taken for granted that the Roman sol
diers smoked fifteen hundred years ago.
Oliver Cromwell was a bitter enemy to
smoking, as were also Charles I. and Charles
11. But, notwithstanding persecution, smok
ing grew in favor, and in the reign of Wil
liam 111. it was almost a universal custom.
Pipes grew long then, and, ruled by a
Dutchman, all England smoked.” Some of
the Puiitans were moderate smokes in Eng
land and also in America, and some of the
New England women enjoyed indulging in a
pipe. Mrs. Mary Rowlandson, wife of R<-v.
Joseph Rnwland-mn, of Lancaster, Mass.,
had the misfortune to be captured by the
Indians in the year 1765 during King Phil
ip’s war. Being brought into the presence
ol Phi'ip, that redoubtable chieftain courte
ously offered her a pipe, according to the
Indian custom. But smoking, she says,
• did not suit my present feelings ; for. though
I bad formerly made use of tobacco, yet I
bad used none, since I was taken.” Th"
fashion is not yet entirely obsolete among
the women of New England, ami is induig. d
in by some of (lie women of the West and
South. In 1559 Cardinal St. Croix, who
was a great smoker, introduced tobacco into'
Italy. In 1690 Pope Innocent XII. ex
communicated all who should take snuff or
use tobacco in chinch ; but in 1724 Popp
Benedict revoked :bis bill, as he himself used
tobacco immoderately. Perhaps the mo t
celebrated fem.de smoker was Madame
Dudevant (Sand.) who loved to smoke i
cigar while at work on her interesting novels.
Erni'y Faithful is very fond of stn ik ng
cigarettes. Robert Hall, the celebrated
divine, is said to have preached his moat elo
quent sermons after smoking a pipe in his
ves ry. This was al-o the case with Dr
Parr, who sometimes smoked twenty pines
in an evening mid never wrote.well except
under the influence ot tobacco Bishop
Kennet relates that Thomas II ibbs, the
philosopher of Malmesbury, retired to his
B'udy every day after dinner and had his
candle and ten or twelve pipes of tobacco
laid by him ; then, shutting the door, he
fell to smoking, t linking and wri'mg for
several hours. Although he smoked exces
sively, lie lived to the age of 92 Sr Isaac
Ni-wton was very fond of his pipe, lie
lived to a ripe old age, and lost I u o-,e
tooth, which would seem to disprove 'lie
assertion 'hat tobacco injures toe, teeth.
Alfred De Musfet, Prosper Merimce and
fcuget.e Hue were (xces-ive smokers. Lord
Palmerston was a great smoker and -moked
hts ten or twelve cigars a day to ‘ preserve
HAMPTON, GEORGIA, MARCH 21, 1379.
his health,” lie said ; this, 100, after he had
passed his eightieth year Thomas Carlyle,
in mild weather, like* to sit or walk in his
garden and smoke a long clay pipe. Lord
Lyttqn, Lord Eldon, Louis Napoleon, Moore,
Campbell upd Byron Were mode, ate smokers.
'IV late J M. Kemble, author of “The
Seasons in,England,” was a tremendous
stn ker. Lord Ben cornfield loved the long
pipe in his youth, bat in middle age pro
nounced it “the tomb of love.” He gave up
smoking years ugo to please his wife. John
Milton nev r went to bed without having
first smoked a pipe and drank a glass of
wafer. Addison used to frequent “Button’s,”
where he had a pipe in his month at all
hours. Fielding, the lamoua novelist, both
smoked and chewed.’ Dickens, Jerrold and
Thackeray all puffed. Sir Walter Scott
smoked in his carriage and regularly after
dinner, loving both pipe and cigars. He
gave the following adviee : “Learn to smoke
slowly. Cultivate calm and intermittent
puff's.” Chas. Limb has sung the virtues of
tobacco in his poem “Farewell to Tobacco.”
in which he owns his weakness in the famous
words :
For thy sake, tobacco, I
Would do anything but die.
Bon Jenson loved the“div tie weed,” and
describes its use with the gusto of a con
noisseur. Rev. C. 11. Spurgeon, the cele
brated Baptist preacher of London, is a
gieat smoker. On one occasion Rev. G. II
Pentecost, of Boston, addressed an audience
in Spurgeon’s Tabernacle, in wh ch he de
nounced smoking as an offense in the sight
of God When lie had finished speaking
Mr Spurgeon got up and told his people
that he saw no possible sin -in smoking, and
electrified Brother Pentecost lay remarking
that, as soon as the services were over, he
was going to smoke a eigar himself. Rev.
W. H. If. Murray, of Boston, enjoys a cigar
as well as a good dinner. The same may be
truly said of a great many celebrated divines.
The late Commodore Vanderbilt was an in
veterate smoker, and would smoke and play
whist for hours. U, S. Grant smokes. He
is said to have once remarked that iri the
war the enemy could do him no greater
injury than ‘o sttal his cigars just before a
battle. Edison both smokes and chews.
John Swinton smokes moderately. Thomas
Bailey Aldrich smokes the beat Havana
cigars, which, he says, impart a flavor to his
poetry. Oliver Wendeli Holmes loves to
bacco and a good punch. James B. Osgood,
the famous Boston publisher, is a very ner
vous man, and smokes a good cigar fre
quently, biting it in a vicious manner. Oli
ver Ditson, now nearly 70 years old, smokes
at regular intervals during every day.
Charles A. B. Shepard, B. H, Ticknor and
Augustas Flagg are great smokerp. John
Bartlett, author of “Bartlett’s Familiar
Quotations,” finds a good eigar a great
pleasure while making hi* rest-arches. The
late Charles Sprague, who died when over
eighty years rtf age, wap a constant smoker.
He wrote s poem, “To My Cigar,” in which
these lines oegur:
“Yen, social friend, I love thee well,
In learned doctor’s spite ;
Thv clouds all other clouds dispel,
And lap me ia delight."
Jame-» Ru«ell Lowell smokes a pipe.
John G. Soxp both smokes and ehews. Pres
ident Audrew Jackson smoked a cob pipe.
Most of our politicians, law vers, physician*
and many ol the clergv use tobacco. With
these in its favor why should any be against
jt ?— New York Star.
Hssatob MoOrf.xrt.—Some days before
the adjournment of Congress, as Hip story
gopc, good-natured and ponderous Henutor
McCreary, of Kentucky, was waddling down
Pennsylvania avenue, when a dapper young
gentleman, one of that class which delights
“society girls" by exclaiming at intervals
during a fashionable reception : ‘ Have you
tie n very gay this season ?” approached him
with the question : “Ah, Senator, how de
do ; I called on you this morning. Did yon
get my card?”
• Y-s,” B.id the Senator drvly, “I got the
card ; hut what did you mean by writing
•E P ’ in the corner of it ?”
“ih. that.” said the voung gentleman,
evidently delighted at being able to give
information, “'hat, you kno-v, m-uns e»
personne' in other words, ‘left in per-on.’ ’
<-Y>'s, res,” sai l the Senator, medi'alively,
“I we."
The next d y Mr. Md’reery again met.
the young man. and this time going up to
him, said. “ Ah. hv the wav. I called on you
this morning ; id you get my raid ?”
uYee, !-ir ; y-s," wav The reply. ‘‘l got, it ;
bo'. 1 »:tv Senator, what in the work) did
you me i by wiinng *S. B. A N in 'h
corn t of it ?”
‘•What !” ctied t e old gentleman. laugh
i g all over his leg I re, “didn’t you ur.det
st nd that? I’m surprised. AVhat should 1
raeaa but ‘sent by a Digger.’ ”
IVter Cartwright.
Among the most notable of the American
pioneer preachers was P-ter Cartwright,
who was horn in Amherst county, Va.. in
1785, and died at Pleasant Plains, 111., in
1872. When he Was a child his parents re
moved to Kentucky, where, about 1801, lie
was converted through the instrumentality
of an itineiant preacher, and Joined the
Methodist chuich. lie was ordained as
deacon m 180 C, and as elder in 1808. In
1812 tie was appointed Presiding Elder, and
n* *ed i> that capacity fi ty years 5 the hist
forty five in the Illinois Conferee??? During
the ministry he received more than 10,000
tnembeis in the church, baptized more than
12,000 jiersons, and for thirty-three years
preached, on an average, four sermons a
week, f I i-- fifty years of presiding elder, and
his autobiography, edited bv Rev. W. P.
Strickland, I) D., are a perfect storehouse ol
characteristics, anecdotes and rem iusc utces.
Atnnng these wo God the following :
One d iv, on approaching a ferry across
the river Illinois, he heard the ferryman
swearing terribly at the sermons of Peter
Cartwright, and threatening that if he ever
had to ferry the preacher across, and knew
him, he would drown him in the river.
Peter, unrecognized, said to the ferryman :
“81 ranger, I want you to put me across ’’
"Wait till I’m ready,” said the ferryman,
and pursued his conversation and strictures
on Peter Cartwright. Having finished, he
turned to Peter and said :
“Now, I'll put you across."
On reaching the middle of the stream,
Peter threw his horse’s bridle over a stak'*
in the boat, aid told the ferryman to let go
his pole.
“What for?" asked the ferryman.
“Well, you’ve just been using my name
improper like, and you said if lever came
this way you would drown me. Now you've
got a chance.”
“Is your name Peter Cartwright ?” asked
the ferryman.
“My name is Peter Cartwright."
Instantly the ferryman laid hold of the
preacher; but he did not know Peter’s
strength, for Peter instantly seized the ferry
man. « wi, hoping him by the nape of {IST
neck, plunged him in the water, saying :
“I bitptitP thee (sp'ash) in the name of
Satun, whose child thou ar' "
Then lifting him up dripping, Peter asked :
•*D d you ever pray ?”
“No ”
“Then it’s time you did.”
“I’ll do no such thing," answered the ler
rymaug
splash, and the ferryman was in
the depths again.
“Will you pray now ?” asked Peter.
The gasping victim shouted : “i'll do
anything you bid me 1”
“Then follow roe—‘Our Father, which art
in H«»v„.’n,’ ” etc.
Having acted as clerk, repeating after'
Peter, the ferryman cried :
“Now, let me go 1”
“Not yet,’* said Peter. “You mast make
me three promises : 1 at, that you will re
peat the prayer, morning and evening. »*
long as you live; 2d, that you will hear
every pioneer preacher tbut comes wiihio
five miles of this ferry; and 3d, that you
will put every Methodist preacher oyer free
of expense. Do you promise and vow? - ’
“I promise,” said the ferryman ; and,
strange to say, that very muo became a
shining light in the church.
What’s <>nk Bui.lkt to a Baskbtvul?—
An incident occurred in the battle of Frank-
Ini which I have uever seen in print, The
s•ngdinary battle was at its height, *<,d now
and then there was a soldier -who would not
face tlie waste, ami. holding to the idea that
“distailfce lends Cbchantment,” on all such
oecJW is would exhibit his laitb in the idea
by taking ‘ 1 g-tuil” lor 't%tf war. tw|pi
case* were getting too numerous
the close ol the battle, and Affcl B ,
A. A. G. of our brigade, was sent badr to
the rear to intercept those seeking for safety
and letuin them to their respective posts of
duty.
Col. B a»id he hailed one fellow who
was making tracks for some place of safety
with all the energy ol despair.
•Halt! I say, and return to your com
mand !”
Ibe flying son of Mais took no notice of
the command.
*• Halt ! I say. and go back to your post!”
Tlie soldier paid no attention to him.
The Colonel dow becume exasperated, and
yelied out :
• 11 you don’t turn and go back to your
ciui inand 1 will shoot yen, sir l”
Without paudng io his light the soldier
ytiled track a' h.m :
“Sln ot and be danged ! What’s cue bul
let io a basketful ?”
Col. I ht him go, arid ufter ihe bat
tle told the iccideut as a good joke.
How Mark Twain Won His
Wife.
Th» turning point in Mr. Clemens’ life
was made in 1868, when be went to the Holy
Land with the excursionists on the steamer
Quakrr City He h. d been in New York
City but a short t me, acting 0- cot respond
ent (or the Alta, when the opportunity oc
curnd to make this trip, which pioved
even a.lire to he the most important one lor
our Bohemian. The proprietors had been
paying so much per left r, in which M’.
C’emeus served up N u w York iu a serin
corona way, jnlko titty M&* to
receive hii urgent request to advance $1,200
to enable him to go abroad with the “inno
cents”—the consideration for th ; s to bo cor
respondence from points of interest visited.
He wrote five nr six letters to the New
York Tribune during the same voyage.
After a little he Ration, natural, under
such circumstances, Mr. Clemens’ request
was granted, and he joined the excursionists.
To the moral and religions people who made
up Ihe party, his presence was 11 ide-irable,
for he still carried his ruining manners with
him, and spoke the Washo vernacular. It
happened that among the passengers there
was an old gentleman from E mira, New
Yoik named Langdnn, who was accompan
ied by his son, a m re boy, and daughter
This hoy conceived u sort of fiiendship for
Mr. Clemens, and associated with him al
most constantly, lie introduced his friend
to his sister, Miss Olivia L. Langdou, and
the light of her eyes purified his lile.
It was a case of love at first sight as far
as Mr. Clemen* was concerned, and the in
fluence of the feeling was most beneficial.
He began to live cleanly in a moral aeo-e,
abandoned cards and gambling and drink,
ami gave up scoffing at ifie religious opinions
of his fellow passengers. He wanted to find
grace with the lady of his love and her
father. Before the. voyage was over he asked
Mr. Langdou for Olivia, and the refusal he
received chilled but did not dishearten him.
He simply told the somewhat indignant par
ent that he could wait, but be was determin
ed to marry b s daughter.
It was said of John Foster, the English
writer ,-m*4 at awe time editor ol the London
Examiner, that his love letter* were the
most remarkable ever penned, because they
were written at the instigation of a young
lady whom he wished to make hi* wife, bui
who knowing bis Imbiluul indolence, and at
the fame time his great talent, refused to
listen to Ins addresses till he had distinguish
ed himself. lie (lid so, and won a bride thut
was proud (>f him. Mr Clemeus’ case was
.hardly a parallel to this, but is similar in
some re-pacts.
V\ e think his “Innocents Abroad” was a
labor of love in a certain degree. It made
him lamous as a humorous writer, (fnd while
si] the world was talking about him and his
book he Came to Elmira, accompanied by an
editorial friend from Cleveland', awl again
renewed his an it for Mas Langdon'i hand.
This time th * oid man listened with more
complacetfey.' The young lady’*
plead.-d for Clemens, and his 0 evelaud friend,
who knew Mr. Lon-don well, *!so Advocated
his claim*. But more powerful pleaders
than all these was the young lady’s heart,
and for her father, the evidences of capacity
VI r Clemens hud giv-n, *nd also of relortna
tion in life. A family meeting was held,
a d into its charmed circle the expectant
bridegroom stepped.
Norn i wo Lost by Couftssy—A cour
teous man often succeeds in lilts when persons
of ability fail Toe e xperience ol every man
furnishes frequent instances where concilia
tory manners have made the fortunes of
phys cians, lawyers divines, politicians, mer
chants, arid, indued, individuals of all pur
suits. In being introduce,! to a s'ranger,
rffibilHy or the reverse crtffcfe# invtwc-
Viwdtfly * p-epo-session iA bis favar, or
awakens unconsciously a prejudice against
him To men civility is, in fact, what a
pleasing appearance is to women—it is a
general passport to favor—a letter of recom
mendation, written in u language that every
person understands. The best of men often
it jure themselves by irritability and conse
quent rudeness, whereas men of inferior abil
i'ie3 have frequently succeeded by their
pleasing and agreeable manners. Of tw.i
men, equal in all other respects, the courte
ous man has twice the advantage, and by
gnat odds the better chance of making his
way in the world.
Thr ways of women are past finding out
It is said that the ladies uf Hartford, Conn ,
have u fasti ion of tying up their taper fingers
when young gentlemen are expected to call,
and when they very naturally ask the cause
tuey b Ulbiagly remark, ‘Y burnt tb‘ in broil
ing steak this morning*” Hi* result is that
scveial young*gentlemen have burned their
fingers, believing the story.
Otir National Emblem.
It may have been noticed that thus far I
have made no allusion to the Ameruan
eagle, the national trade-mark* patent ap
plied for, but it is not that T do n >t nppre
ein’e the position that species o r poultry •»-*•
cupies nt «nrh times. He is a hgh old bi-d,
and the committee that selected the eagle as
a national emblem should hav** be-n ane-’ed
for disorderly conduct. O. great bird ! Yo*
live on mice Tou soar aloft na pmi ms ■
airy, until mil see a poor little mouse wi h
one kg broken, and then you swoop down
like a ward constable, and run Ti m in. Yoa
are a nice old bird for a trade- mark tor a
nation of heroes, yon old coward YOll sit
on a rock and Watch a peasant woman hang*
ing out clothes ; when she go-a in t lie hou e
to turn the clothes-wringer, you, great birdj
emblem of freedom—yon, representative of
the land of tin* free arid the hour* of the
brave—you swoop down on the plantation
and crush your talons in the quiv ring fl sp
«t her little baby, take him to your home
high in heaven, and pick his innocent little
eyes out. You bald-hauled old reprobute,
you would turn your tail an I run at the at
tack of a ban tain rooster. O eagle, you o, k
well on dreis parade, but you are a un-uni-*
mous coward and you eat soaks*.
The bird that should have been sel-cbd
us the emblem of our country—the bird of
patience, forbearance, perseverauce, and tbe
bird el terror when aroused—is the mule.
There is no bird that combine* more virtues
to the square foot than the mule. With mi*
mule emblazoned on our banners, we should
be a terror to our foe. We are a nation of
uncomplaining hard woikers So is the
mule. tVe mean to do the fair thing by
everybody. We plod ulong, doing to others
us we would be done *by. rio do‘*s the
mule. We us a nation are slow to anger-
So is (he mule. As a n tion we occasionally
slick our ears forward and fan Aid off our
forehead. So does the mule. We all *w
parties to get on aud ride us long as they
behave themselves. So does the mule. But
when any nation slicks spurs into our S inks
and tickles our heels with a straw, we come
down stiff- legged in front, out ear* too# 1»
the beautiful ueyond, our voice is cut loos*
and is rhritl for war, our Babseqheni end
plays the snare drum on anything that get*
in reach of us. amt strike* terror to the head*
of all tyrants. So does the inule. Wheu
the country is older, and congress has tiuia
to get iu its work, tbe eagle will be super
seded by tbe national trade-mark, and in its
place will rise the mule in all bis glory.—
George W. Feck.
Expensive Politeness*
It is a critical inmneot iu life and clothing
of a man when he gets down on his knees to
look under the sofa for a ball of Zephyr that
n lady trkiud has dropped. It is possible
that he may t»e able to accomplish this and
recover his perpendicular with nothing more
serious than a very red face and a general
•reuse of having done something for which
he should be sent from the room. Bill, io
nine cases out of teri, he never fully recover**
the good opinion of himself that be possessed
before be undertook the recovery of the ball.
It is always just beyond his reach, a and, in a
moment of weakness, he drops on his stom
ach and commences to work himself uuder*
the sofa by a series of acrobatic feats th«6‘
would have won hint an encore on the
He i* so intent dpon the ieeov-ry of Hat
ball that be quits lorgets hi* nppearunca
until he is rc«ninded*l>y a suppressed titter*
from one of the ladies Then be rcs’izes the
situation and commences to back oat. Of*
course, his coat is worked up over bn heat,
ami as he feels a co>d streak creep up hi*
back, he pronounces a benediction on the.
man who invented an Ojiea-back snif. Lie.
■kale* pawitHlp cuusctoas thpt at* tut two
inches of red flannel drawers are vDible be*
tween the tops of his b iota and the oottum
ol his trousers. Th s has the effsfet ol pro
ducing more internal profanity aud still more
v.oient struggles to back out, during which
one suspender breaks uud his collar Outrun
comes out. Wbeu be finally delivers lint.-
sell and stands up in the middle of the room,
you would not recognize to that red-faced ,
wild-eyed man standing there, holding h s
clothes together with oue hand and trying to
smooth down his hair with the other, tbs
smiling, genteel ladies’ man who stoop d
down to pick up that ball of zephyr a mo
ment oelorb.
Is a primary school not long ago the
teacher undertook to co.vej to her pupils
an idea of the uses of the hyphen Btie
wiote on the blackboard * Bird's-nest,” and,
pointing to the hyphen, asked the school t
Wmat is that for T” After a short pause a
small Feuian piped oat : “PUae, ma’an,
for toe bard to roosht on,”
NO. 374