Newspaper Page Text
Showing What May Be Achieved
by Nerve and Reiteration.
A LESSON IN PERSEVERANCE.
Going to Prove That Repetition Will
Work Wonders if a Man Has Only
the Necessary Amount of Cheek to
Stand Up and Keep on Talking.
Mark Twain once told a reporter
that if a man says the same thing of¬
ten enough people will begin to listen
to him.
“Now,” said the great humorist,
“there was that story about Hank
Monk. That was the oldest, stalest
driest, deadest bit of alleged humor
that any man ever heard. It had been
circulated around Nevada and Cali¬
fornia until there wasn’t a man left
who would even listen to it. I had
heard It so many times that I knew it
by heart. It told how Hank Monk got
Horace Greeley over the Glennbrook
grade to Placerville.
“I was about to deliver my second
lecture at Platt’s hall in San Fran¬
cisco— the second oue I had ever de¬
livered. It occurred to me that 1
might begin that lecture with the
worst story I had ever heard ami by
telling it often enough start the lec¬
ture with a big laugh. I took that
story and memorized It so that it
would not vary in the telling, and 1
made it just as pointless and just as
dull and just as dry as I could.
“When it came time for me to talk
I stood up and with a few introduc¬
tory remarks began that story. If I
remember it went something like this:
“ ‘Horace Greeley once went over
the Glennbrook grade to Placerville.
When he was leaving Carson City he
told the driver, Hank Monk, that he
had an engagement to lecture at
Placerville and was very anxious to
go through quick. Hank Monk crack¬
ed his whip and started off at an aw¬
ful pace. The stage bounced up and
down in such a terrific way that it
jolted the buttons all off Horace’s coat
and finally shot his head clean through
the roof of the stage, and then he yell¬
ed to Hank Monk and begged him to
go easier—said he warn’t in as much
of a hurry as he had been awhile
ago. But Hank Monk said, “Keep
your seat. Horace, and I’ll get you
there on time!” And he did, too—what
was left of him.’
“Now, that was all there was to the
story. It was bad enough to begin
with, hut I made it Worse in the tell¬
ing. I droned it out in a flat, monoto¬
nous tone, without a gesture to mar its
depressing effect. The people received
it In dead silence. I had insulted every
man in the audience—I had ‘graveled’
them with a story that was not only
stale and pointless, but one which they
had heard at least a thousand times.
I waited a few seconds for the laugh¬
ter, and then I began to hem and haw
and shift my feet. I tried to appear
just as embarrassed as I could, and
after floundering about helplessly for a
few sentences I cheered up a little and
said that I would tell a funny anec¬
dote which might be new to them. It
began:
“ ‘Horace Greeley went over the
Glennbrook grade to Placerville’—
“I told It In exactly the same miser¬
able, pointless way that I had told it
before, and when I got through I wait¬
ed a longer time for the applause, but
there -wasn't any applause. I could see
that several men In the house were
growing quite indignant. They had
paid money to hear a humorous lec¬
ture. I took a long breath and plunged
in a third time, more embarrassed and
flustered and worried than ever, and
by and by I worked around again to
the time when Horace Greeley went
over Glennbrook grade to Placerville.
“This time some of the smarter ones
began to laugh, and this encouraged
me so much that I thanked them and
started right in to tell the story over
again, never varying the delivery so
much as a pause to take breath. The
fourth time fetched ’em, and at the
end of the story they stood up and
whooped and jelled and cheered for
some time.
“You see, I thought that if a man
had sand enough to stand up before an
audience and tell the oldest, stalest
and most uninteresting story in the
world he could make people laugh If
he had the nerve to tell the story often
eneugh. The rest of my lecture went
very well. They were w illing to laugh
at my anecdotes the first time I told
them. Maybe they were afraid I would
tell them a second time.
“I felt so sure that I had discovered
a new phase in human character that
I tried the same thing in New York
years afterward. There was an au¬
thors’ reading bee one afternoon, and
most of the authors read selections
from their works. I sat on the plat¬
form beside James Russell Lowell.
He asked me what I was going to
read. I said that I wasn’t going to
read anything. I intended to tell an
anecdote.
“ ‘Is it a funny one?’ he asked.
“I said it would be If I lasted long
enough.
“I started out without any preamble,
and I told the Hank Monk anecdote.
There was an awful silence at the
end. I took a drink of water, mopped
my forehead and told the story again.
Same effect. Young man, I told that
story five times before I landed ’em.
When I sat down at last Mr. Lowell
whispered to me:
“ ‘You have cost dear. I have
me
been sitting here and wasting sympa¬
thy on you/
“That's the point, young man. Repe¬
tition will do anything if a man has
the sand to stand up and keep on talk
tog.”—New York American.
SPECULATING ON MARGIN.
American and English Ways of Doing
It Are Very Different.
In America a speculator's capital
(with an exception to be noted below)
is necessarily at least the size of his
margin in his broker's hands, though
it is to be feared that iu only too many
instances it is just this and nothing
more.
On the London Stock Exchange an
i other method prevails which, says
Moody’s Magazine, it is probable has
done more in the long ago past to give
stock speculation its bad name than
I all the episodes of an unsavory nature
which have ever occurred on Ameri¬
can exchanges. In London after the
inevitable introduction to a broker the
new customer gives his order, but
makes no deposit at all.
The broker is supposed to learn
something of his new client’s means
and how far he should be allowed to
commit himself. Twice a month the
English have what they call their set¬
tlement days. A customer long of a
stock whose commitment has gone
somewhat against him is then required
to pay the differences, as they are
called, between his purchase price and
the current quotation.
He must also pay a charge called a
contango for holding the settlement
over into the next fortnightly period
if he does not wish to close the com¬
mitment. As a consequence of this
way of doing business a speculator
may be trading on a few points mar¬
gin in reality or, in fact, on no margin
at all. He may be utterly penniless
without the broker knowing it.
That this method works out with
fewer losses in England than it would
do here is due to the fact that the
social and economic strata to which an
Englishman belongs are much easier
to determine than the corresponding
facts among us, and also that an intro¬
duction means more there than here,
as the introducer is regarded as to a
certain extent responsible morally for
the business deportment of his friend.
It is worth while observing (and this
is the exception referred to abovei
that in certain instances the methods
pursued in American stock exchange
houses are the same as those obtaining
in Lbndon. Little as the fact is known,
it is not an unfrequent custom for very
wealthy speculators to have no fixed
margin or even no margin at all with
tbeir brokers.
If a man of this sort loses on a com¬
mitment he sends his broker a check
for the loss. If he wins his brokers
remit to him for his gains. The bro¬
ker dislikes to offend a very powerful
client by troubling him for funds, and
hence takes risks with his account
which he would not dream of taking
with the account of smaller men. In¬
stances of this sort sometimes become
public in cases where the broker is
forced into bankruptcy, whether owing
to this cause or not.
Could Do For Herself.
She was a very delightful but a very
aged lady—over ninety—and her friends
and relatives and even chance ac¬
quaintances, drawn by her exquisite
personality, all did her homage and,
as the saying is, “waited on her hand
and foot.”
She accepted it all very graciously,
but with some inward rebellion, for to
a very old and close mouthed friend
she once said, with a quaint pucker
of lips and brows:
"I am reminded sometimes of the
old lines:
“Twa were blowin’ at her nose,
And three were bucklin’ at her shoon.”
—Youth’s Companion.
A Word For the Tightwad.
In France they have an expressive
phrase, “liquid mouey.” it means that
part of the family income which is
used for the necessities and luxuries
of life. It is quite apart from and
kept apart from the more serious, sub¬
stantial part of the income, which is
the saved part. In America the entire
income is “liquid, and the man who at¬
tempts to make part of it solid is
called a “tightwad.” A “tightwad”
is really a man who creates a princi¬
pal—a capital, in other words—and he
is the living example of what every
private business must be and of how
the country’s resources should be han¬
dled.—Argonaut.
Voting In Spain.
Voting in Spain is held to be a duty
to the community, not merely a priv¬
ilege of the individual, and neglect of
civic obligations carries its own pen¬
alty. Male adults of legal age and un¬
der seventy, with the exception of
priests, notaries and judges, are re¬
quired to vote in municipal elections.
Failure to cast a ballot is punishable
by having one’s name published as
censure for neglect, by having taxes
! increased 2 per cent, by suffering a
deduction of 1 per cent in salary if
employed in the public service and for
the second offense the loss of right to
bold elective or appointive office.
His Landscapes.
A nouveau riche recently attended a
picture sale. A friend who had noticed
I him at the sale asked afterward, “Did
you pick up anything at that picture
sale, Jorkins?” and the other respond¬
ed: “Oh, yes; a couple of landscapes.
One of ’em was a basket of fruit and
the other a storm at sea.”
Rather the Other.
“Don’t you know that tune? I for¬
get the name of it but it goes like
this.” And be whistled it
After he had finished his friend
turned to him with a sigh. “1 wish to
goodness you had remembered the
name and not the tune,” he said.—Lip
pincott’s.
Exactness to little duties is a woa
tierful source of cheerfulness.— Faber, j
(
THE COVINGTON NEWS
Student of Shakespeare.
The office boy sat in the corner busi¬
ly engaged iu reading a book. Strange
to say, it was not “The Adventures of
Bunko Jim,” “Daisy Dean, the Demon
Detective,” nor even a thrilling narra¬
tive of more or less correct life on the
plains. He was reading Shakespeare.
An expression of peace and joy was
ou his face that caused those who
knew him to wonder if he had at last
experienced a change of heart. Ills
eyes sparkled, and his whole expres¬
sion was oue of happiness. Finally he
turned to a worker at another desk.
“Say, Jim,” he said, “I’ve got a ques¬
tion for you. Did you ever read Shake¬
speare?”
“Yep,” was the replj\
“And d'yer know what he talks
about?”
“Yep.”
“Den maybe you can help me.”
“What is it?”
“Well, 1 want to know which was de
man, Romeo or Juliet?”—Youth’s Com¬
panion.
Losing His Mind.
“Mother, guess you’d better send fer
tb’ doctor,” gasped Uncle Charlie Sen
ver as he sank into a chair and rocked
back and forth, holding his gray head.
“Sakes alive! Ye haven’t been and got
the misery in j-er head, have ye, Si¬
las?” gasped his astonished wife, drop
ing a pie tin.
“I dunno what’s the matter, but I’ve
alwus had a hunch my mind ’d go
some time. It’s cum. I guess. 1 no
ticed th’ trouble fust last week when 1
plumb forget to go up an’ swear off
th’ $100 assessment till it was too late,
Then I neglected to go to th’ school
meetin’ last night to fight agin the new
commissioner. But, wuss and wuss, 1
didn’t guess within eleven pound seven
ounces of th’ weight of Wnl Weaver’s
big hog killed today. I guess my mind
has gone all right. I’m about all in.”
—ruck.
Tuning Forks.
The tuning fork was the invention
of John Stone, royal trumpeter, in
1811. Though the pitch of forks varies
slightly with changes of the tempera¬
ture or by rust, they are the most ac¬
curate means of determining pitch.
Tuning forks are capable of being
made of any pitch within certain lim¬
its, but those commonly used are the
notes A and C, giving the sounds rep¬
resented by the second and third
spaces in the treble stave.
An Incentive.
“Won’t you try to love me?” ho
sighed.
“I have tried,” she replied kindly,
but firmly.
“My rich aunt has just died,” he
weut ou.
“In that case, dear, I will try again.”
—ruck.
A Blunt Answer.
Mother (to her daughter)—You’d bet¬
ter accept Peter, my dear. He Is a
nice boy, though he may not be hand¬
some. After all, good looks fade, don’t
they, papa? Father—Rather!—Flie
gende Blatter.
The Ways of Men.
Many a man who would be unable
to find the family Bible if he hunted
all day would have no difficulty In put¬
ting his hand on the corkscrew, even
in the dark.—Chicago Record-Herald.
An Empty Dream.
Bobby—Say, sis, what’s a “empty
dream?” Dotty—One you have when
you’ve been sent to bed without any
supper.—Cleveland Leader.
Do It Now.
Decision never becomes easier by
postponement, while habit grows
stronger every day. Common sense as
well as conscience says, “Choose this
day.”
The feet of Fate are tender, for she
sets her steps not on the ground, but
on the heads of men.—Homer.
1 »*■ *10
Evans Lunsford W.T. Milner.
LUNSFORD & MILNER
Wholesale and Retail
Builders Supplies
Lumber, Laths, Shingles, Sash, Doors, Blinds - - - Paints, Lead, Oil, Lime, Brick, Cement, Mill work a Specialty
A Complete Stock of High Grade Roofings and Wall Plasters
We carry the largest and best assorted stock of Building Material in this section
of the state, and as we buy only from the best mills in the south, our gradings
are considerably ABOVE THE AVERAGE. Estimates and prices cheerfully ^
given. Contract work at closest prices consistent with honest work and material
BE SURE TO SEE US BEFORE YOU BUILD
WE WILL SAVE YOU MONEY, TIME AND WORRY
LAW OF GRAVITY VIOLATED.
Conditions Under Which Water Ac¬
tually Flows Upward.
“Water seeks its level” is an ex¬
pression heard so frequently as to be
almost trite, and yet the law has its
exceptions. There ure conditions un¬
der which water actually flows up¬
ward and rises above its source. If a
glass tube be dipped Into water the
column inside will be above the level
of the surrounding surface. Moreover.
If a tribe of half the diameter be sub¬
stituted the column doubles its height
The water creeps along the inside of
the tube, owing to tlie adhesion, and
forms a cup shaped depression at the
top.
An explanation is not difficult. It
can be proved mathematically that If
the diameter of a circle be diminished
one-half the circumference is also re
dueed to that extent, while the area is
one-fourth of its former value. The
circumference of the column of water
being reduced one-half, its contact
with the glass, and hence the adhesive
force, is also diminished to that extent,
while the cross section, and hence the
weight. Is decreased to a fourth of
what it was before. Therefore the sec¬
ond column can be twice the height of
the first without exceeding the lifting
power.
! Remarkable ns the underlying prin¬
ciples of this phenomenon undoubtedly
are, nature made use of them long be¬
j fore man made their discovery. Every
tree and flower adds its testimony.
j The core of a tree or plant, instead of
being a single open channel, consists
of a spongelike substance containing
many miniature tunnels, through
which the sap and moisture collected
by the roots flow upward in small riv¬
ulets, rising higher and higher in
sheer defiance of the great law of
gravity.—St. Louis Republic.
His Contribution.
“Have you ever done anything for
the good of the community?” asked
the solid citizen.
“Yes,” replied the weary wayfarer;
“I’ve just done thirty days.”—Phila¬
delphia Record.
*!* -I* v %- *1* *1* 4* '1* *1* *1* *1*
♦I* DR. A. S. HOPKINS, Dentist. *
Nitrous Oxide Gas Administered ►!*
•j* Phones: Office 216, Res. 200-L »
*1* 8 and 10 Star Building.
*1* Covington, Georgia.
*1* ‘I* *1* *1* *1* *!* 'I* *1* *1* *!* *!* *!• *!•
• .ft. • ftY.ft;# ft ft’ ft;,#*
<Jk
W. J. Higgins
DENTIST
Over Cohen’s Store.
Your Patronage Solicited.
Covington - - Georgia
i+m'm • a # #';#’;# • b b b *
A Pressing Club.
Run by a white man of
ience and that knows his
Cleaning, Pressing,
Altering, Repairing.
I will appreciate your work and I
guarantee satisfacton. First room in
basement of Star building.
W. H. BARNETT.
It is the “ARA-NOTCH” in an
Arrow Collar
That makes the “BELMONT”
sit so perfectly
15c. each —2 for 25c. Cluctt, Peabody & Co., Makers
ARROW CUFFS, 25c. a pair
Lee Brothers.
oft^ft^ft’.^ft'v^ftvftvft • ft.ft ft ft ft ft • • • •:• ft ft ft • ft
The News’ Printing plant begins the year 1910
better equipped than ever to turn out your
commercial printing. Give us your next order.
ft ' ft.’. •☆#*#*♦*#*• v *k ' ft ^ft •e#$##«0«eft
♦
$ DR. WRIGHT’S !
♦
I i
I ♦ !
i ♦
♦ ♦ HAIR RESTORER i
i ♦
♦ Relieves dandruff and falling hair. Promoted new growth and !
i restores natural color to gray hair. One of the best hair restorers on !
t the market. Price 50c for large bottles. !
♦
l SPECTACLES •
♦
♦ I make a specialty of testing your eyes by most approved scienti¬ ♦
I fic methods free of charge. I carry a complete line of Spectacles and !
♦ guarantee satisfaction in prices and adjustment.
i i
i TRUSSES ♦ !
♦
i 1 have an experience of twenty-five years in adjusting Trusses. i
♦ If you need a Truss, I am the man you are looking for. I will guar¬
* antee to give you scientific adjustment and satisfactory prices. ♦ !
i i
I ♦ DR. J. A. WRIGHT, Druggis ! ♦
♦ Covington, Ga.
I • ------*■*----’ — *
♦
NICE FRESH GROCERIES
You will always find at my store as nice and fresh Gro¬
ceries as can be found in the city, and when you purchase
them from me I make it a point to get them to your home
just as quick as it is possible for me to do it.
FRESH MEATS
I also have in connection with my store a first class Meat
Market and can furnish you with the choice kind of Meats
you like so well. Giveme an order. I will appreciate it and
will try to please you.
Cigars aud Tobacco. Cash Paid for Hides.
R. F. WRIGHT
Covington, Georgia.
