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(t played a Low Down Trick on
the Master of the House.
HOT TIME ON A COLD NIGHT.
Troub le Was the Direct Result of
’ ,
ty Man's Craving For Drink
J Thirs Persistence In At¬
nd H i» Dogged
tempting to Satisfy It.
of the old time humorous writ
0ne “Sparrowgrass,” and the fol
was a» "
erS imr y "account 8 ao of his good adventure idea of with his
lb ) w waiter gives a
amusing ng style: s S. had retired.
0ne evening »fi_______ Mrs.
was busy writing when It struck
and 1 water would be pal
glass 5 of 0- ice
Thle So So I i took took the the candle candle aDd and a a
S'ber and went the down kitchen. to the A pump. conn
Our pump is !u
pump in the kitchen is more con
ily Lent but a well with buckets Unfortunate¬ is eer¬
most picturesque. been sweet
our well water has not
Ice ly cleaned out.
it was door
pi rs t 1 hud to open a bolted
that lets you into the basement hall,
nd then 1 went to the kitchen door,
which proved to be locked. 1 hen i re¬
membered that our girl always car¬
ried the key to bed with her and slept
n under her pillow. Then I re¬
cced mv steps.’ bolted the basement
iooT and went up into the dining room
\ is always the case. 1 found when I
s I thirstier
could not get any water was
tan I supposed 1 was. Then 1
thought concluded I would not wake to our do it. girl Then up.
Yhen 1
1 thought of the well, hut I gave that
up on account of its flavor. Then I
opened the closet doors. There was no
water there. Then I thought of the
dumb waiter! The novelty of the idea
made me smile. I took out two of the
movable shelves, stood the pitcher on
the bottom of the dumb waiter, got in
myself with the lamp, let myself down
until 1 supposed I was within a foot
of the floor below and then let go.
\Ve came down so suddenly that 1
was shot out of the apparatus as if it
had been a catapult. It broke the
pitcher, extinguished the lamp and
landed me in the middle of the kitchen
at miduight. with no fire and the air
not much above the zero point. The
truth is 1 bad miscalculated the dis¬
tance of the descent Instead of falling
one foot. 1 had fallen five. My first
impulse was lo ascend by the way 1
came down, hut 1 found that imprac¬
ticable. Then 1 tried the kitchen door.
It was locked. 1 tried to force it open.
It was made of two inch stuff and held
its own. Then I hoisted a window,
and there were the rigid iron bars. If
I ever felt angry at anybody it was at
myself for putting up those bars to
.please Mrs. Sparrowgrass. 1 put them
up not to keep people in, but to keep
people out.
I laid my cheek against the ice cold
barriers and looked at the sky. Not a
star was visible, it was as black as
ink overhead. Then 1 made a noise. 1
shouted until 1 was hoarse and ruined
our preserving kettle with the poker.
That brought our dogs out in full bark,
and between us we made the night
hideous. Then I thought I heard a
voice and listened it was Mrs. Spar
[rowgrass calling to me from the top
of the staircase. I tried to make her
bear me, but the infernal dogs united
with howl and growl and hark, so as
to drown my voice, which is naturally
plaintive and tender. Besides, there
were two bolted doors and double deaf¬
ened floors between us. How could slit*
recognize my voice, even if she did
bear it?
Mr Sparrowgrass called once or
twice and then got frightened The
neit thing i heard was a sound as if
the roof had fallen in, by which I un¬
derstood that Mrs. Sparrowgrass was
'Springing the rattle! That called out
our neighbor, already wide awake. lie
■fame to the rescue with a bull terrier,
‘Newfoundland pup, a lantern and a
revolver. The moment he saw me at
the window he shot at me, but fortu¬
nately just missed me. I threw myself
under the kitchen table and ventured
to expostulate with him, but he would
not listen to reason. In the excite
tuout 1 bad forgotten his name, and
t at made matters worse. It not
was
until be had roused up everybody
sfound, broken in the basement door
Mth au ax. got into the kitchen with
s cursed savage dogs and shooting
r,| a and seized me by the collar that
o recognized me. and then he wanted
o to explain it! But what kind of an
xplanatioD could 1 make to him? 1
° be would have to wait until
j ■'
was composed and then 1
fuiL unders tand the matter
. Thrift,
onal—Eh, yon was a powerful dees
eursH on Thrift” preached the
bbatb. ye
Tother— Ah’m glad ye were
tU profit ~ Tonal—Profit! Why.
mon r '' ould have
' sloshed
non , t0 ma sax
n the P lat e wi’out a thought
if J 1 . D °* been
tin! for y° u r providen
tkere We acd ° n ? S ~ then--London the * saved me fourpence
Opinion
The Miracle.
tween ,Jat is the difference be
Taiu-v W0 nder and a miracle? I.o
V Ai> i . f youd touch
*od pa ) w* ’ me for $ 5
Wonder L " °°dland—That’s 5 t0 you U wou,d be a
And tf so. Lorain
adracte returned U that would be
jerj n If 6 18 day the ’ twilI and 8obr iety is
gentlv > 8ht thai hov
B| G BATTLESHIPS.
Aa Viewed From the Standpoints of
Economy and Gun Fire,
A very important factor in the ques
tiou of the size of ships is that of
economy. A given amount of tonnage
is more economically assigned to one
ship than distributed among several
Three ships require three captains,
three officers constantly on deck in
charge, three men at the wheel and
three times as many lookouts. While
the same proportion - threefold — of
deck and engineer force may not be
needed, the aggregate crews of three
vessels would nevertheless show a
very considerable percentage in ex
cess of one of the same aggregate ton
nage. All this means much more ex¬
pense for the same carriage of freight
and passengers.
Tlie same order of considerations ap¬
plies to ships of war, but in a less de¬
gree, because naval vessels are not for
purposes of gain. With them the run¬
ning expenses in this particular count
as with merchantmen, but the ques¬
tion of profit is replaced by that of
military efficiency, as ministering to
the safety of the nation or to the as
sertion of national policies.
Suppose one ship carrying twelve
guns opposed to four carrying three
each. With the very wide train ot
modern guns—that is, the long arc of
a circle over which their projectiles
can strike effectively—it is easily feasi¬
ble to bring all the guns of four ships
upon a single opponent. Probably she
on her part may bring also upon each
enemy three guns, a fire power equal
to his, but the concentration of four
fold impact upon a single vessel pro¬
duces upon her crew a corresponding
physical as well as moral impression,
diminishing their military efficiency,
their power of rapid loading and aim¬
ing, not to speak of the proportionate¬
ly greater chances of material injury.
If there be the same number of hits
on both sides the one will have been
struck four times as often as any one
opponent If, as would be very proper,
the one begins by concentrating all her
battery on one or two of her antagon¬
ists she ought to beat them down, but
an appreciable time would he required,
during which the others would be en¬
gaged in unmolested target practice
upon her.—Rear Admiral A. T. Mahan
in Leslie’s.
FALSE COLORS.
Iridescence of the Opal Is Merely a
Matter of Formation.
The opal has no color in the sense of
pigmentation. To break open an opal
in order to observe its hues would he
the equivalent to killing the goose that
laid the golden eggs. Neither golden
eggs nor rainbow hues would be found
Opal consists of hydrated silica, it
is not uniform in texture. If the word
surface may be used for interior con¬
ditions it might be said that the opaline
silica Is in the form of surfaces and
layers that lie compactly against one
another. These layers refract the light
at various angles, giving forth the
colored flashes in the same way that
a pure crystal prism refracts the col¬
ors of the spectrum. Technically speak¬
ing, these layers of silica are said to
possess a different index of refraction
from that of the matrix. As the opal
is moved the various layers break the
light Into colors, which change, of
course, according to the position of the
stone.
The iridescence of nacre, or mother
of-pearl, is also a matter of form and
not actual color. In fact, all “change
able” colors are more or less the re
suit of form even where there is pig¬
mentation beneath, such as in certain
ribbed silks. When sunlight bears di¬
rectly upon finely ribbed metal, as a
file, there Is the same play of colors.
In the case of mother-of-pearl an in¬
teresting experiment has been made.
An impression of the pearl was taken
upon pure white wax. It was then
found that the apparently smooth
surface of the pearl had still sufficient
irregularities to impress upon the wax
a surface that resulted in similar color
manifestations.—Harper’s Weekly.
Barbers Ages Ago.
The first barbers of whom there is
any record plied their trade in Greece
in the fifth century B. C. In Rome
the first barbers operated In the third
century B. C. In olden times in Eng¬
land the barber and the physician
were identical. Thus a king’s barber
was also his chief medical adviser, in
the time of Henry VIII. of England
laws were made concerning barbers,
of which the following is an extract:
“No person occupying a shaving or
barbery in Loudon shall use any sur¬
gery. letting of blood or other matter,
except the drawing of teeth.”
The Real Simon Pure.
“The real simon pure” is one of those
phrases which every one understands
and not one in a hundred could account
for. Simon I’ure was a Pennsylvania
Quaker in Mrs. Centlivre’s “A Bold
Stroke For a Wife,” produced at Drury
Lane theater, London, in February,
1718. One Colonel Feignwell passes
himself off as Simon and wins the heart
of a Bristol heiress. Miss Lovely, after
which the real Simon Pure turns up.
All Wrong.
New Curate—Your husband is a con¬
firmed invalid, is he not? Mrs. Billyus
—Confirmed, sir? No. sir; he ain’t
Church of England. New Curate—1
mean is he a permanent invalid? Mrs
Billyus—Permanent? Lor’, no! Doctor
says he can’t last a month.—LoudoD
Telegraph.
There Are Exception#.
Willie—All the world loves a lover
Wallie—Bally lie. ye know. Nellie de
Wink’s pet terrier has bitten me four
times, bah Jove!—New fork Globe.
THE COVINGTON NEWS, WE DNESDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 1912.
A FRIEND IN NEED
Just a Bit of Life as It Cropped
Out on a Railway Train.
A TOUCH OF REAL HUMANITY.
The Rough Looking Man Wno Proved
That His Heart Was Big and In the
Right Place and the Shabby but
Grateful Foreigner He Befriended.
"Whenever 1 hear anything nowa
days about ’man’s inhumanity to
man,’ ” said a Providence citizen the
other day, “I am reminded of a little
incident. 1 was coming back from
Boston with a friend on the midnight
train, and, getting on board at the
Back Bay station, we found a seat
near the rear end of the car.
“Soon after the train pulled out I
happened to look around and saw the
conductor apparently expostulating
with a rather shabby looking specimen
of humanity who was sitting in the
last seat. At first 1 thought the man
was drunk, but as 1 watched 1 saw
that he was a foreigner who couldn't
understand English, ne was holding
out a crumpled one dollar bill to the
conductor and saying ’New York’ over
and over again.
"Finally the conductor shook his
head, said something i couldn’t catch
and went on. The foreigner, a rather
decent looking young fellow, gazed at
him despairingly, then buried his face
in his hands and began to cry. With
the usual callous indifference of the
traveling public to the troubles of any
one else, 1 paid no more attention to
the man and prepared to take a nap
"1 was just beginning to doze when 1
became aware that a man was stand
ing beside me in the aisle, speaking to
me. 1 sat up and looked at him. He
was a rough appearing man, far from
prepossessing, clean shaven, with a
sort of bulldog face.
“’Say, gents,’ he began, ’I want to
know if you wouldn’t like to help a fel
ler out.’
“I stiffened Instinctively, determined
to refuse to let him make a ’touch.
” ‘There’s a poor young foreigner
back there,’ he went on with a jerk of
his thumb toward the alien, still sit
ting with bowed head, ’and he’s up
against it for fair. He can’t speak a
word of English, and he wants to go
to New York, where be has friends
" ‘He got the idea somehow he could
do it for a dollar, all he’s got: hut. ot
course, be can’t, and they’re going to
put him off the train when we get to
Providence, it’s mighty bard on a fel
ler like him. and there ain’t any tell
ing what’ll happen to him getting put
off in a strange city at 1 o’clock in the
morning. 1 thought maybe you’d be
willing to give a little to help him
along.’
“He stopped, looked ns straight In
the eye aDd smiled sheepishly as if he
were ashamed of what he was doing
We gave him a dollar, and be went on
through the car, and there were few ot
the passengers who didn’t respond to
the appeal. He came back counting
the money, and as be got to our seat I
beard him say:
" ‘There’s a dollar more needed—I’ll
make it qp myself!’ and he pulled out
a couple of fifty cent pieces and added
them to the amount.
“The conductor and the brakemgn
were standing at the door of the car
near the foreigner’s seat.
’“Here,’ said the man who had col
lectedtbe money to the alien; ’give me
your dollar.’
"Dumbly, but trustingly, the young
fellow banded it over, and, giving it
to the conductor with the rest, the bull
dog man said gruffly:
"‘There’s his fare.’
“It slowly dawned on the alien what
had been done for him, and as the con¬
ductor punched the rebate check and
banded it to him the gratitude in his
face was indescribable. He couldn’t
speak, but he took his cap off and
bowed again and again to the official,
but the latter pointed to the passenger
who was sitting in his seat across the
aisle and told the youth that be was
the one to thank.
"The foreigner crossed the aisle till
he stood squarely in front of his bene¬
factor, took off his cap and, with tears
of gratitude in his eyes, bowed again
and again. It was evident enough that
the benefactor was embarrassed by
this unexpected outburst At first he
waved his hand around the car to indi
cate that everybody had had a band in
it. But be couldn’t make the foreigner
understand. The latter kept on bow
ing, whereupon the uncomfortable in
dividual in the seat grunted and turn¬
ed to look out of the window.
"I have never seen.” concluded the
man who was telling the story, “a
kindlier—if I were a girl l should say a
sweeter—act of charity tD my life. Sit¬
ting across the aisle, this hard faced
man had heard the story of the for¬
eigner, helpless, alone and frightened,
and out of pure goodness of heart,
without any necessity for doing ungrateful it. he j
had taken upon himself the
task of soliciting money from the rest
of the people in that car to help out a
man he-’d uever seen before and would
probably never see again.”— Providence
Journal.
The New Star.
“How did yon become an actor? 1
suppose you studied Shakespeare and
other for many weary hours ”
masters
“Not exactly.” responded the promi¬
nent star. "1 became an actor by mak¬
ing a three base hit Id a pinch”—
Pittsburgh Post
The best part of beauty is that which
no picture can express-Bacon.
“ELIMINATION”
Is the slogan of our Bargain Counter of shoes.
We must have room for our swell line of Spring
and Summer slippers hence we are offering our
shoes at prices that will make you glad. Take
the time to see this wonderful opportunity of
buying shoes at unheard of prices.
Heard, While & Co.
Buster Brown Blue Ribbon Shoes for boys and
girls. Buster Brown Hose for everybody.
Interchangeable
Facts Worthy of Careful Consideration
The interchangeable mileage book regulation re¬
quiring the exchange of coupons for tickets has been
the subject of criticism. Much of such criticism
arises because the exact facts and conditions are not
generally known.
In order that the public may be correctly informed
the railway companies make the following state¬
ment, having full faith in the fairness of public
opinion when the matter is thoroughly understood.
An interchangeable mileage book, as its name in¬
dicates. may be used for obtaining transportation
over any line party to the interchangeable book ar¬
rangement. The coupons from these books are equiva¬
lent to cash, and to safeguard their transmission to
the Treasurer of each railroad company, the require¬
ment is made for the exchange of the coupons at
ticket windows for transportation, thus causing the
mileage coupons to be placed in the hand of bonded
ticket agents who must account to the Auditing De¬
partment of each line for their value.
No one w ill claim that it is unreasonable for a rail¬
way company to require a traveler to purchase a
ticket instead of paying the money on the train
The object of this requirement is to have one man,
the ticket agent, handle the money and cell tickets,
either l'or cash or coupons from an interchangeable
mileage book, and thus male a record of what the
Company has sold; another man, the conductor, to
collect the tickets, and thus make a record of their
use, and thereby have an additional check against the
agent, who must account for the purchase price
either in cash or coupons.
The coupons from interchangeable mileage books
represent cash, for the reason that they are the only
evidence of a claim against the railroad selling the
mileage book, and the Company accepting such cou¬
pons for sale of ticket is paid by the road selling the
mileage book only upon presentation of the actual
coupons. This is not alw ays possible w here the con¬
ductor lifts the coupons on the train, because he does
not have the same facilities for safeguarding such
coupons, and should they become lost, the railroad
honoring the mileage book would have no means of
securing proper compensation for the service per¬
formed. The necessity of preserving each coupon is
therefore apparent.
Every well organized business concern adopts
regulations to insure the safety of its cash.
Atlanta & West Point R. R. Central of Georgia Ry. Nashville, Chattanooga & St
Atlanta, Birmingham & At¬ Georgia Railroad Louis Railway.
lantic Railroad. Seaboard Air Line Ry.
Atlantic Coa& Line R. R. Southern Railway Louisville & Nashville R. R.
PAGE THREE.
Attention is invited to the check system in depart¬
ment stores; the cash registers in smaller stores; tne
cashiers at hotels, restaurants, etc., and hundreds of
other devices for the purpose of proper accounting.
THE INTERCHANGEABLE MILEAGE BOOKS
PROVIDED BY THE LINES IN THE SOUTHEAST
GRANT MORE FAVORABLE CONDITIONS TH AN
ARE AFFORDED BY INTERCHANGEABLE
BOOKS IN ANY OTHER TERRITORY, AND
THEY DO NOT REQUIRE THE HOLDER OF A
MILEAGE BOOK TO DO MORE TO SECURE
TRANSPORTATION FOR HIMSELF AND HIS
BAGGAGE THAN IS REQUIRED OF A PASSEN¬
GER WHO PURCHASES A TICKET FOR CASH.
They are good on a greater number of railroads.
There are no restrictions as to the passenger trains
on which exchange tickets purchased with inter¬
changeable mileage coupons can be used.
They give the passenger the benefit of short line
mileage where it would not be practicable in many
instances if mileage coupons were honored on the
train.
The exchange regulation is of benefit to the rail¬
way companies for the following reasons:
It insures proper accounting.
It safeguards the accurate checking of baggage.
It relieves the conductors of much detail labor,
thereby permitting them to give more time and at¬
tention to the operation of their trains, thus insuring
to a greater degree the safety of passengers.
It makes it possible to ascertain the volume of
passenger travel from each station and to determine
the facilities necessary.
The exchange regulation has been the subject of
judicial review before Railroad Commissioners and
State Courts, and the reasonableness of the require¬
ment has been sustained.
The regulations were called into question in a case
before the Interstate Commerce Commission, in
which that Commission said:
“IN A WORD, THE RIGHT TO USE EXCHANGE
ORDERS AND MILEAGE BOOKS IS IN THE NA¬
TURE OF A PRIVILEGE, VOLUNTARILY AC¬
CORDED BY CARRIERS. UNDER THEIR
TARIFFS, AND MUST BE ACCEPTED BY THOSE
WHO USE SUCH SPECIAL FARES WITH ALL
LAWFUL AND NON-DISCRIMINATORY LIMITA¬
TIONS THAT MAY BE ATTACHED TO THEM.”
