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The §n;e <£itizen.
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POSIT IV E L Y CAS II.
CI TIZEN
Volume 8.
Waynesboro, Georgia, Saturday, August 24th, 1889. Number 1
L. C. Hayne, J.T. Newbert,
President. Cashier.
Planters Lean ^ {Savings Bank,
K;1 Broad .St., AUGUSTA,GA,
Capital—All Paid in Cash, $100,000.
*VV itli Stockholders liuhilit v which guaran
tees absolute safety to all depositors.
This is the oldest Savings Rank in this city
with an unbroken record of nearly 20 years.
It transacts a general Banking 'business in
all ot its branches, and is authorized to re
ceive and disburse money, securities or prop
erty in trust, and to act as financial agent for
any person firm or corporation.
Interest allowed on deposits in the
Savings Department. :ipr2t»,’S9-by
gS~ The Democrats of Virginia
ha ve nominated Hon. Philip
VcKenney for gubernatorial hon-
0 ,. ?> The main issue will run on the
color line.
gjff" Commissioner Henderson
has returned from New York. He
expresses a hope that the English
cotton exchanges will ultimately
he forced to grant the reduction on
cotton tare.
fi§T The Rev. Henry Montgom
ery, a colored preacher who lives
near Ponce deLeon, one of the su
burbs of Atlanta, was shot by Amos
Johnson, another negro. When
shot the preacher was stealing
corn from Johnson’s field.
££T Two Mormon emissaries
were picked up by the citizens of
Warren county, and given the
choice of leaving the county or take
a flogging then and there. They
hustled, and when last seen they
were scratching dirt on an air line
for Utah.
t£T There are 40 counties in
middle Georgia, and of this number
32 have adopted the no fence law,
and in each ot the remaining S
counties, there are certain districts
which have also adopted the law.
Without an exception these coun
ties report that the “no fence law”
has given general satisfaction.
Now that the Olive bill is
killed, the Atlanta Constitution
cannot understand how good and
sensible men could haye been per
suaded to swallow it. It helps to
account for it, hy saying that the
people have been deceived by
scheming politicians and design
ing patriots. The entire press of
the state now seem to unite in this
opinion.
'i .’he board of directors of
the New Orleans cotton exchange
have invited all other exchanges
to meet in that city on the lltli of
September, to consult and agree
on a uniform method of adjust
ment in tare on cotton and jute
bagging. Their proposition will be
from a certain date that all cotton
be sold by net weight, allowing 5
per cent, of gross weight lor jute
and O'.j lor cotton bagging.
IfisT* Physicians in Savannah say
that much mortality among chil
dren is caused from damaged milk.
Cows fed on slops do not yield pure
milk, and even where they
drink impure or stagnant water
the milk is not fit for food. Milk
bottles that are not carefully aired
and well washed, breed sick germs
in the milk. All milk should be
boiled, and rubber stoppers and bot
tles should be frequently cleaned
with a solution of cooking soda.
^JET" Mr. Liyingston and his
clique in the agricultural conven
tion got on their time worn politi
cal hobby and tried to ride the
Olive bill through the convention.
There was too much conservatism
and intelligence among the dele
gates, and the attempt resulted in
failure. The farmers may for a
time be led astray, but their sense
is bound to come to the rescue, and
second rate politicians cannot make
them their cat’s paws on all occa
sions.
tW The Central railroad has
generously appropriated .$1,900 as
prizes for the counties making the
best agricultural display at tin
coming state fair. The E. T., Ya. A
Ga. road it is said will also dupli
cate this act of generosity. The
Central has also tendered an excur
sion to a number of delegates ap
pointed by Mr. Northern at Cedar-
town, who will make a general
tour through the West, to see and
study up the agricultural methods
ot that section.
The original “Old Black
Joe” died a few days ago in New
Jersey at a little cabin where he
had lived for years. lie had the
reputation of being the oldest man
in the state, being 112 years old.
He claimed to have been a runa
way slave from Virginia. The in
human treatment lie received dur
ing his days of slavery must have
given stamina to his constitution,
and acted as a Brown-Sequard
E’ixir, elso how could his days
have been stretched beyond a cen
tury.
&W" Hon. Lewis Arnheim, a
member of the legislature from
Dougherty, died of consumption in
Atlanta on Sunday. He was a
native of Germany, and coming to
America in 1808 made his home at
Albany. He was altogether a self-
made man, as he started life in this
country both penniless and friend
less. He soon developed into an
excellent lawyer, and his brilliant
and success!ul career in the legis
lature is well known. Though a
mreigner and a Jew, his career fully
demonstrates that in this country
a man’s birthplace and religious be
lief cannot shut him out from high
preferment.
THE HOME OF THE CHASES.
The .Testing anil Brooding Places of the Fowl on
Daufuskie.
j Savannah News, Aug. 12th.
Visitors to Daufuskie island dur
ing the summer tell of the roosting
■ and brooding places of the cranes
on the island. Storks, cranes and
bitterns spend the day along the
estauries of the sea coast and wade
and fly over the miles and miles
of salt marshes. Along about 4
o’clock in the afternoon they begin
to collect in the matted shrubbery
and undergrowth of Daufuskie is
land for the night. They fly singly,
by pairs and in flocks ranging from
twenty-five to fifty.
A gentleman who was maroon
ing on the island a few days ago
said that lie was ignorant of the
sea fowl, and* one evening near
twilight he was returning to his
quarters, and when passing near
a dense thicket, he heard a great
chattering, and many of the voices
ounded like that of humans. Rest
ing on his gun lie listened atten
tively and finally come to the con
clusion that it was a colony of
cranes. lie threw astrick into the
the thicket, when with a wild
shriek and screech some 400 or GOO
cranes flew out, circled about
awhile and having recovered from
their fright settled down again
from sight, still keening up their
continuous chatter and clatter.
Capt. W. S. Thompson says the
cranes find in the dense under
growth of some parts of the island
a secure and almost unapproacha
ble retreat from intrusion, and
they lay their eggs and rear their
broods of young. Few people
have the temerity to inyade the
thicket to disturb eggs or young
birds, for it is not only a home for
the cranes, but a paradise for rat
tlers and moccasins, which are the
only enemies that make much
headway against the cranes. It is
said, however, tiiat one or two sum
mers ago a daring hunter, with
difficulty, forced an entrance into
the thicket and carried off three
barrels of eggs, for which he found
a ready market in Savannah at the
price of hen’s eggs, for which he
sold them, but as the eggs are high
ly prized by epicures he might
have more than quadrupled his
money if he had shipped them
North. The experience was
so perilous and difficult, how
ever, that no one has ventured
into the thickets to disturb the nests
since.
The young cranes are now pretty
well fledged, and most of them
have taken to looking out tor them
selves. Before leaving the nest the
parent birds bring them small fish,
often from a great distance, and
feed the young, and a hunter who
shot a crane on the island a few
days ago, said that she had nearly
200 small minnows in her pouch.
As the young grow older, larger
fish are caught by the parent birds
which are cairied in their bills and
the fish eagle watches the flight of
the stork and crane, and often pur
sues, forces the lightened bird to
drop the prey and with unerring
descent, the fish eagle catches the
fish before it reaches water or the
ground.
The cranes go farther South on
the approach of cold weather, but
if the winter is an open and mild
one they do not all migrate, and
their tall form and snow-white plu
mage, is often seen in winter
though the herbage of the marshes
like a picture.
The crane is pursued vigorously
by the hunter who finds a ready
market for the plumage,as the snow-
white leathers are popular with
the women of fashion, and plumage
dealers in New York have hunters
regularly employed at a salary in the
SouthFlorida and along the Atlantic
and Gulf coasts of the peninsula,
and all through the almost impene
trable lagoons and bayous of the
Everglades who keep up the
warfare upon the birds of
plumage and song all through the
winter, and th!s fact has led to the
agitation of the question whether
a rigid law should not he passed to
punish by fines and penalties all
who are convicted of shooting any
birds except those which are edible.
Poison the fountain, and the
stream is impure; poison the blood,
and its taint is carried through the
entire system—those innumerable
veins and arteries carry disease
and death instead of life and vital
ity. As a result, you have head
ache, scrofula, dyspepsia, kidney
disease, liver complaint and gener
al debility. An inactive liver
means poisoned blood; constipation
means poisoned blood; kidney dis
order means poisoned blood. The
great antidote for impure blood is
Dr. Pierce’s Golden Medical Dis
covery. Acting directly upon the
affected organs, restores them to
their normal condition. “A word
to the wise is sufficient.” The “Dis
covery” is guaranteed to cure in
all cases of disease for which it is
l’ecommended, or money paid for
it will be promptly refunded.
A Fiend Hong.
On the afternoon of the 17th,
! Walter Asbury alias Berrien, a ne
gro who once lived at Milieu, at
tempted to commit a rape upon a
15 year old German girl, Lula
Kissinan, at Pooler, a station on
the Central, ten miles above Svan-
nah. The screams of the girl
brought aid before the object of the
negro was accomplished, but she
was terribly beaten and bruised.
One eye was closed, and her neck
was so badly wrenched that she
was unable to turn her head. The
floor and furniture indicated a
tierce struggle, and had it not been
tor the determined resistance of
the girl the object of the fiend
would have been gratified. Sever
al posses soon got on the trail, and
in the search it was discovered
that after leaving the Kissman
house, he went about a quarter of
a mile and entering the house of
Mrs. Grayson, beat her over
the head with the but end of a gun
which he seized as soon as he enter
ed the house. Mrs. Grayson for
tunately made her escape and ran
into the street. He then after raid
ing the house went to the home of
Mr. Walls, and was about to assault
Mrs. Walls, when her husband for
tunately came to her rescue. He
then took to the woods. The search
parties during the night found him
at a low dance house only about a
mile from the scene of his villiany.
lie was taken before Miss Kissman
and she at once identified him. He
plead guilty, and begged for mercy.
But the indignant people strung
nim up to a tree, and his body was
soon riddled with bullets.
GUARD AGAINST THE STRIKE,
And always have a bottle of Acker’s
English Remedy in the house. You
cannot tell how soon Croup may
strike your little one, or a cold or
cough may fasten itself upon you.
One dose is a preventive and a few
doses a positive cure. All tiiroat
and lung troubles yield to its treat
ment. A sample bottle is given you
free and remedy guaranteed by
Whitehead & Co., Waynesboro and
E. A. Harris & Co., Midville.
Another Snake Story.
The Athens Chronicle is coming
to the Iront as the narrator of queer
things, its latest is this, quoting its
informant: “Last week I purchased
a lot of watermelons from a country
man, and sent them home. After I
had eaten all the melons but one.
and having an appetite that de
manded more, I placed this one on
the table and cut it. Imagine if
you can, my surprise, when I found
there was no heart to the melon,
but it had a smooth opening on each
side. By placing the two halves to
gether, I could see the space was
made by something round, I began
to look around to try to discover
what could have made the place,
when right under my nose on the
table lay a small snake. It was of
light green color, about 10 inches
long, and had a horned head. T
never saw, or heard of one like it
before. The rind of the melon was
perfect, and it could not have crawl
ed through it. The nearest I can
guess at it is this: It must have been
a very small snake when the melon
was in bloom, and got in one of the
blooms, and when it developed into
a small melon, the snake went into
it.” The Chronicle thinks the above
the hugest snake yarn that it has
ever heard, but prints it as a fact,
on the authority of one whose ve
racity it would not dare question.
HAPPINESS AND CONTENTMENT
Cannot go hand if we look on the
dark side of every little obstacle.
Nothing will so darken life and
and make it a burden as dyspepsia.
Acker’s Dyspepsia Tablets will cure
the worst form of dyspepsia, consti
pation and indigestion, and make
life a happiness and pleasure. Sold
at 25 and 50 cents by Whitehead &
Co., Waynesboro and E. A. Harris
& Co., Midville.
A New Cooking Stove.
Vason M. Barrett, of'Atlanta, has
patented a new stove. A factory
for its manufacture is to be built at
once. The Barrett stove reverses
the principal by which the old-fash
ion stove did Its work. The fire is
placed at the back and near where
the stove-pipe is located. The
draught and the heat has to pass en
tirely around the stove before it
reaches the flue. The soot is con
sumed by the fire, and there is no
clogging. In appearance the stove
resembles one of the ordinary kind
with the pipe fitted on the wrong
end. All the stove dealers in the
city have seen the Barrett stove,and
they all pronounce it the best they
have ever seen.
A CHILD KILLED.
Another child killed by the use of
opiates given in the form of sooth
ing syrup. Why mothers give their
children such deadly poison is sur
prising when they can relieve the
child of its peculiar troubles by us
ing Acker’s Baby Soother. It con
tains no opium or morphine. Sold
hy Whitehead & Co., Waynesboro,
and E. A. Harris & Co., Midyllle.
HE WILL BE RELEASED.
A United suits Prisoner in Fulton County Jail.
Atlanta Constitution, Aug. 17th.
George W. Crawford, the young
man who robbed the United States
mail on the third of August, and
who has since been in Fulton coun
ty jail,will be allowed to die outside
the prison walls.
A number of charitable ladies
have made a practice of visting the
jail for the purpose of singing and
praying with the prisoners. Yester
day they went as usual, and before
leaving they were told that inside
the walls, somewhere, was a young
man dying of consumption.
When questioned, Jailer Poole
said it was all true. He had in his
keeping a young man who was so
ill, that he had been moved to one
of the upper rooms in order that his
last days might be made as comfort
able as possible. The sick man
was Crawford, and a willing con
sent was given the ladies to visit
him.
In a narrow room, with white
washed walls, bare floor and narrow
grated window they found the wreck
of a man. He was lying on a prison
pallet, clean but very hard, and lit
tle suited to the needs of a dying
man. Beside him was his food—a
little water in a prison cup and
some coarse bread in a pan.
There was no need for prison
locks and bars here. Crawford is so
weak that if the doors were left
wide open he would be unable to
walk out unassisted. His voice is
so far gone that he was unable to
tell the story of his troubles. From
another source, however, the
ladies learned that he had been a
mail carrier between Cedar Blulf
and Cave Springs. His health grew
so bad that he was forced to put a
man in his place. On August 3d
he resumed his work and while un
der the influence of whisky robbed
the mail of $S.
The hearts of the kind ladies
were touched by Crawford’s pitiful
condition. He was without friends,
without money and dying. They de
termined to make an effort to have
him die in a hospital, and expressed
a willingness to do all in their
power for the sick man.
When Mr. O. E. Mitchell, of the
United States marshal’s office, heard
that friends had been found for
Crawford,said tha the would do all in
his power to assist the ladies in pro
curing the dying man’s transfer to
t : ie hospital. District Attorney Dar
nell’s consent had to be procured to
the change. It was not difficult to
get it. Mr. Darnell said that his
attention had been called to the
case and he had gone to the jail to
see Crawford. lie found him so
sick, however, that he thought It
would be cruel kindness to turn him
adrift in the streets without money,
to die. He said he would immedi
ately ask Judge Newman’s consent
to the release and attach his own
signature to the document if Dr. W.
A. Chapman would certify to the
man’s condition. He also said that
the government would pay half of
Crawford’s expenses at the hospital.
Dr. Chapman was even more in
terested in the case than the other
gentleman. He said that Craw
ford might die at any minute, and
that lie might live several weeks.
In either case the prison was no
place for him, no matter now will
ing Jailer Poole might be to allevi
ate Crawford’s sufferings. The pris
on was not provided with the neces
sities of a dying man. And the coarse
food and solitude could only inten
sify the death bed agony.
Dr. Chapman gladly wrote a letter
to Marshal Nelms stating thatCraw-
ford was dying, and it would be
cruelty to keep him in prison longer,
therefore reccommended his trans
fer to a hospital.
As soon as Judge Newman signs
the papers to-day, the ladies can re
move Crawford to whatever hospi
tal they may select.
(ieoIoKlnl Survey.
The corps of Engineer M. Prick-
ett’s geological survey have been
around Athens for several days,
and are on their way to the Blue
Ridge belt of Georgia and South
Carolina, to make a suryey for the
government. They came from
Scotsville, and will go from Athens
to Lawrenceyille, and thence to
some point in South Carolina. It
is their purpose to make a thorough
survey with geological tests all
along the foot of the Blue Ridge
through Georgia and Carolina.
Don’t be Humbugged
with the foolish idea that catarrh
cannot be cured! The world moves,
and medical science is progressive.
The proprietors of Dr. Sage’s Ca
tarrh Remedy will pay $500 reward
for a case of nasal catarrh, no mat
ter how bad or of how long stand
ing, which they cannot cure. Reme
dy sold by druggists, at only 50
cents.
Subscribe for The Citizen.
Balloons Bear off a Baby.
Chicago, Inn., Aug. 19.—At Shef
field park.yesterday, an Italian ped
dler of toy balloons attempted to
serve two puchasers at once, and in
doing so let go his string of bright
colored globes. The cord got twist
ed about the left arm of-two-year-old
Sophie Schwab, and the buoyant
rubber bubbles started heavenward,
taking her along. The bystanders
stood horror stricken as the bal
loons swept close to a tree and the
infant grasped a handful of twigs
and checked her flight. A young
German was ascending the tree in
an instant and then crept out on a
branch nearest the child. At this
moment Sophie’s strength gave out 1
and the balloons,suddenly released,
went again upward at least a hun
dred feet, drifting then out over the
lake. Gust Knoch, a sharp-shooter
grabbed a repeating rifle, hurriedly
jumped into a skiff with two com
panions, and pulled out in lake.
Knoch succeeded in pierceing sev
eral of the balloons, each successful
shot helping the bunch to descend.
Before it finally reached the water
the boat was at the spot and the lit
tle Sophie did not even get her feet
wet.
The Women Prise 11. B. B.
The suffering of women certainly awakens
♦ lie sympaty of every true philanthropist.
Their best friend, however is 15. 15. B. (Bo
tanic Blood Balm.) Send to Blood Balm Co.,
Atlanta, Ga., for proofs.
H. L. Cassidy, Kennesaw, Ga., writes:
“Three bottles of B. B. B. cured my wife of
scrofula.”
Mrs. It. M. Paws, Zalaba, Fla., writes: “I
have never used anything to equal 15. B. B.”
Mrs. C. H. Gay, Rocky Mount, X. C„ writes
“Xot a dav for 15 years was I free from head
ache. B. B. B. entirely relieved me, I feel
like another person.”
James W. Lancaster, Hawkinsville. Ga.,
writes: “My wife was in bad health for
eight, years. Five doctors and many patent
medicines had done her no good, Six bottles
of B. 15. B. cured her,”
Miss S. Tomlinson, Atlanta, Ga,, says:
“For years I suffered with rheumatism,
caused by kidney trouble and indigestion,
1 also was feeble and nervous. B. 15. B. re-
lieuec me at once, although se/eral other
medicines had failed.
Rev. J. M. Richardson, Clarkston, Ark.,
writes: “.My wife suffered twelve years
with rheumatism and female complaint. A
lady member of my church had been cured
by 15. B. B, She persuaded my wife to try it
who how says there is nothing like B. B,’ B.,
as it quickly gave her relief.”
Wlio Is the (Inner 1
In Carroll county there is a tract
of land for which no owner can be
found. The tract embraces ninety-
four and one-half acres of land and
is a fractional part of land lot No.
107 in the ninth district of the coun
ty. When the land in this section
was given out or sold about 1821,
this strip, which is next to the Ala
bama line, was left untaken. For
some unexplained reason this land
has remained unoccupied, and no
notice has been taken of it until
within the last two weeks. About
a dozen people from Carroll county
have been into the secretary ot
state’s office asking about the land,
and one of them offered Ben Davis,
one of the clerks, $100 if he could
find any record of its being given
or sold. The record could not be
found, so the secretary of state will
order the sheriff to sell the land at
public outcry to the highest bidder.
Land in that section is worth about
$10 an acre, but it is thought gold
has been discovered on this strip,
which accounts for the anxiety of
so many to find traces of its being
sold.
WE CAN AND DO
Guarantee Acker’s Blood Elixir for
it has been fully demonstrated to
the people ot the country that it is
superior to all other preparations
for blood diseases. It is a positive
cure for syphilitic poisoning, ulcers,
eruptions and pimples. It purifies
the whole system and thoroughly
builds up the constitution. White-
head & Co., Waynesboro and E. A.
Harris & Co., Midville.
May Be It’s Elixir or Death.
Cincinnati, Aug. 17.—Doctors
have decided that May Steele, named
in recent telegrams, has blood pois
ing. He will sue for $5,000 damages.
Felden Weire, the first man who
experimented here with the elixir,
and whose wonderful cure was tel
egraphed broadcast, is in bed
again. Great hard lumps appear
where the incisions were made, and
he is delirious. Dr. Longfellow,
who made the first experiments, in
a published statement says he has
lost faith in the elixir, and that a lo
cal paper paid all expenses of his
experiments for the first news. Dr.
Langorgbick, the chemist, who pre
pares nine-tenths of all the elixir
used here, says it is dangerous if
used after an hour, and rank poison
after two hours. The scare amounts
to a craze. There are reports that
the workhouse physicians have ex
perimented indiscriminately with
frightful results.
A DUTY TO YOURSELF.
It is surprising that people will
use a common ordinary pill when
they can secure a valuable English
one for the same money. Dr. Ack
er’s English Pills are a positive
cure for sickheadache and all liver
troubles. They are small, sweet,
easily taken and are for sale by
Whitehead & Co., Waynesboro and
E. A. Harris & Co., Midville.
A SEtJKOES HOT EDITORIAL.
He Predicts the Ultimate Supremacy oT the
Blarks.
Birmingham, Ala., Aug 19.—An
article in the Independent, a paper
at Selma, Ala., edited by a colored
preacher named Bryan, has created
a stir in Alabama. An editorial
in the last issue abused the whites
tor various injustices against the
colored race, and concluded as fol
lows:
Were you (the whites) to leave
this southland, in twenty years it
would be one of the grandest sec
tions of the globe. We would show
you mossbaek crackers how to run
a country. You would never see
convicts half-starved, depriving
honest working men of an honest
living. It is only a matter of time
when throughout this whole state
affairs will be changed and I hope
to your sorrow.
We were never destined to always
be servants, but. Tike all other races,
will and must have our day. You
now have yours. You have had
your revolutionary and civil wars,
and we here predict that at no very
distant day we will have our race
war, and we hope, as God intends,
that we will be strong enough to
wipe you out of existence and hard
ly leave enough of you to tell the
story. It is bound to come, and
just such hot-headed cranks as the
editors of some of our Democratic
journals are just the right set to
hasten it. It is fate.
The whites in Selma are taking
steps to prevent Rev. Bryan, who is
now absent from the city, from
ever coming back. The executive
committee of the White Republi
can Protective Tariff League, with
headquarters at Birmingham, met
here to-day and passed resolutions
denouueing the editorial as incen
diary and dangerous, and tender
ing their moral, and if necessay
their physical aid to stop such ut
terances.
Selma, Ala., Aug. 19.—There
is no race trouble here beyond the
publication of an incendiary article
in the negro newpaper. This pub
lication is only one of a series of
articles which has been published.
Much indignation has been exciied
among the citizens, and a meeting
was held to-night to take measures
to prosecute the offenders. The
city is quiet to-night.
Death ot “Old Black Joe.”
New York, Aug., IS.—The origi
nal “Old Black Joe” died at Mount
Holly. N. J., yesterday in the little
cabin where he has lived for years
just on the outskirts of town. Ills
proper name is Joseph Queen, and
he undoubtedly is the oldest man in
the state, being 112 yearsold. He was
born in Virginia in 1777, and the
fact Is recorded in faded characters
in an old family bible. “Old Joe”
was a runaway slave, and came to
New Jersey 1827, where he was ta
ken care of by some of the residents
of Mount Holly, one of whom is
still living and remembes that the
well along in years When he came
here. For years past the town peo
ple have ministered to his wants and
kept him in comparative comfort,
he was very patriarchal in appear
ance, and his form was bent nearly
doublewith the weight of years. A
monument will be erected to his
memory by the citizens.
Swift’s Specific cured me of ugly
and very painful boils or risings. I
had twenty-three on my back and
neck at one time and a great many
on my body. I took S. S. S. and
two bottles cured me. This was
five years ago, and have had no
boils since.
W. M. Miller,
Arlington, Texas.
W. II. Wight, of Rogers, Ark., a
prominent farmer and stock
grower, says that Swift’s
Specific cured him of tetter
of twenty years standing. Of
course in that time he had a great
amount of treatment, and says the
wonder is that he did not scratch
the flesh from his bones. S. S. S.
cured him quick and permanently.
The continued use of mercury
mxitures poisons the system, causes
the bones to decay, and brings on
mercurial rheumatism. The use
of S. S. S. forces impurities from
the blood, gives a good appetite and
digestion, and build9 up the whole
human frame. Send to Swift Spe
cific Company, Drawer 3, Atlanta.
Ga., for treatise on blood diseases.
The Swift’s Specific company,
drawer 3, Atlanta, Ga., offer a re
ward of one thousand dollars to
any one who will find by analysis
a particle of mercury, iodide of
potash, or other poisonous substance
in S. S. S.
“That was a very brave act of
yours in stopping the runaway horse
young man. Here’s a $100-bill for
you.”
“That’s a good deal of money for
me.” “Nonsense. When a man
saves my life, I believe in paying
him what it is worth.
To remove paint—Sit on it.
Equally “up In arms”—New ba-
I hies.
Some men never foot a bill with
out kicking.
Not the “ocean grayhounds”—
“Old sea dogs.”
The church contribution box
should be nickle plate.
Regular blockheads—Ornamen
tal figures on the steamship’s bow.
Secretary Rusk should have his
forthcoming book on cattle bound
in calf.
Father—Well did you get your A.
B. ? Son (just graduated)—“Yes
and made a base lilt every time.”
An Ohio chemist who has invent
ed a no w fly paper calls it “The
Faith Cure,” because it means sure
death.
A man never knows what he can
do untill he tries, and then, after
ward, he is often very sorry that he
found out.
Remorse is like a wooden leg. It
may help you on your way, but you
always think how much happier
you would be without it.
Botanist-“This, Miss Dimple is the
tobacco plant.” Miss Dimple—
“How interesting! And when does
it begin to bear cigarettes?”
Two heads are better than one.
The two-headed freak in the dime
museum earns a larger salary than
the one-headed college professor.
Jones—Why don’t you lay by
something for a rainy day ? Brown
—I have done so. I’m keeping the
umbrella Smith loaned me a week
ago.
We believe it was a member of
the Chicago Literary Aggregation
who, being asked if he could read
Greek, modestly replied: “I don’t
know. I never tried.”
Madeline—George, you are not
actually going to kiss me ?” George
—“By Jupiter, I am!” M.—“Then
I’ll tell you oue thing.” G.—What
is that? M.—If you do I’ll retali
ate.
Sophronia—“Yes an agnostic is
one that never affirms, nor denies,
as you say. That is to say, he doesn’t
affirm that you know anything and
doesn’t deny that he knows every
thing.”
Food, fuel and light are the great
necessaries of the people, says a po
litical economist. He is right, but
the working classes, while admiting
the necessity of food and fuel, make
light of oil.
A Boston paper in a fit of enter
prise had two of its reporters dis
guised as beggars and sent out to
ascertain how that class of society
fares. It is thought their success
was so great that they will remain
in the business.
She—“George, why do they cail
Philadelphia the City of Brotherly
Love?” He—Because whenever a
girl promises to be a sister to a fel
low he buys a ticket to Philadelphia
so as to have a quiet place to think
the whole affair over.
A young business man has asked
for four weeks vacation this year.
He says he will spend two weeks
in the country getting rest and re
creation, and two weeks in the city
recovering from the rest and recre
ation that he won’t get.
Stranger—“Did a pedestrian pass
this way a few minutes ago!” Gran
ger—“No sor. I’ve been right outen
this tater patch more’n a nower, and
notter blamed thing has passed
’cept one solitary man and he was
tramping erlong on foot.”
“Papa,” asked Jones’ youngest
olive branch, how do the savages tell
the time of day when they haven’t
either clocks or watches? My son
they count it on their fingers, re
plied Jones, who could not suppress
a smile of pity at his offspring’s ig
norance.
“Mr. Benson I wuz much pained
ter neah ob de suddin death ob yer
wife. Did dey hoi a post motem
zaminatlon.” “Dey did sah, Mr.
Willis; but dey didn’t hoi it till ar-
ter she died. Fool Doctah might er
knowed he couldn’t sabe her life
den.”
Nellie (sympatheticaly)-Yoa poor
dear! What a narrow escape! And
what started the horse?
Gussie (indignantly)—Well—you
well you know, Will was just help
ing me out of the buggy, and the
stupid horse could not tell the dif
ference between—a good night—
kiss and a signal to start And he
just started. Some horses havo so
little—sense.
Tliose of you who are weary and heavy la
den with sickness and care, weighed down
with the infirmities that beset the human
system, can find the one thing necessary to
restore you to bright buoyant health, in Sher
man’s Prickly Ash Bitters.lt invigorates and
strengthens the debilitated organs,aids diges
tion and dispels the clouds arising from a dis
eased liver.