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fhc true §Uizen. '$ulli»a n Brothers, Publishers. (j ,,jjscriptiou Rates : - §2 00 - 1 00 three months - 50 One Copy one year - u six months OS ! t I V E L Y C A S H. true cm Volume 8. Waynesboro, Georgia, Saturday, November 9th, 18$9. r€T' In Belgium the population )0 the square mile; theUuited ;;’ e , has only eighteen to the mile. g^T The public schools in Aflan- t l .luring the months of November, December, January and February vi H teach stenography, penmau- .ship ar r d bookkeeping. fgjT The emigration commis- at New York have notified * he steamship companies that a . |iti)( ] (: lX of fifty cents each will be collected from them for every Alien they bring here, children in- ftluded- fjgr Kentucky is beyond all doubt the head-center of the horse industry. Within three weeks, in j 0!]r counties alone, the sales ex ceeded *500.000. Her sales of th irnirhbreds for the present year to over *-1,000,000. The S. T. Coleman & Bur den Company, of Macon, have sold not the r entire notion department toS. Wixelbaum & Co. They will hereafter do an exclusive wholesale sh , )0 business, and assert that it will be the largest in the state. Only 02 passengers out of 550,000,000 persons carried by steam in the 1 'aters of the United States wer e lost during the past year. \nd yet many people who don’t fear the railroad shudder and turn pale when travel on the ocean •becomes necessary. jrtT The Cronin trial at Chicago, as it progresses makes out a had showing againt Burke. I£e has been clearly identified as the lessee of the cottage in which Cronin was murdered. This trial will do much toward- lessening the interests lieietofore manifested in this coun try for 1 he Irish cause. i'lW" At ihe njeventh hour 'Prince Murat refused to marry the American heiress, Miss Cald well. As he was exchanging blood and title for pelf and money he did not think that ins fiance offered a sufficient inducement. Her offer was $10,000 a year during her life. In the event of her death his annui ty stopped. VST After through much trial and great tribulation New York lias managed to raise $2,000,000 for Ihe World’s Fair. Chicago has already planked up $10,000,000 and every days doings is increasing this amount And yet New York seems very confident, doubtless on the idea that merit and not money should win. iW* All the unsold lands in Florida belonging to the Plant Sys tem and other railroads have been consolidated under one manage ment, with headquarters at San- fml. By this management over (5,000,000 acres of land are consoli dated under one management, and the entire business relating to their improvement, sale and lease will be transacted at Sanford. £3?" The cannibals of South Sea island have recently devoured a missionary anu his whole family. The world doubtless owes this peo ple a living, hut it comes pretty dear when it takes tins shape. How many missionaries will be needed to gorge the appetites of this preacher loving people? This sort °fexperience impresses the lesson that “charity begins at home.” ir Pre sident Harrison’s procla mation notifies the people that the ~' ! h of this ij^qth has been set a part as a day «tf thanksgiving, and that they are expected to cease from business and all worldly cares and So to church and offer up the tur- ^ p y gobbler as a thanksgiving sacri- The household that has not 1 f“t turkey on this day will not be U) nsid'.;red grateful for blessings re ceived. HF 1 The registration of Hoitiniore has In one of the Section the * congressman >tes in been completed, districts at the last Republicans secured The recent regis- an in- ira i°n n tlds district shows ^ease of 2,257 in the growth of the " lile population, and a fall- mg off of 1,005 in the colored. The e ll(Kr uts toln the truth when they " ?rteu that negro voters had been ■mporled. Senator Quay was utterly ( omfounded when the president , U(i in '** s presence that he owed ‘ 5 eiec ion to the Lord. The wiley t iekster couldn’t appreciate . c U!ll) iushing cheek and stupen- tr f b-’l’ocrisy. He knew full well *' ie president knew that his 1 t and able management and dis- henient of the corruption fund "» work, and jjy manner of ^ President be drawn to the con- Sl0n th at “the Lord did it.” therefore by reasoning could eJ'* ,^ n est lot of fancy imported a S.ScherePs. Clty CaD be f ° Und &t AN ELECTRIC HORROR. A Horse Is Knocked Donn and Roasted on as Elec tric Wire. New Y t ork, Nov. 4.—The electric light current this morning roasted a horse to death, threw' the driver to the street and knocked a police sergeant senseless. As in Feek’s case, the deadly current was carried to its victims through a telephone wire. A big pole, carrying numberless wires, stands on Fourth avenue, near the corner of Twenty-eighth street. Some time near 4 o’clock this morning one of the wires, a tele phone line, fell to the street and formed a loop across the down track of the Fourth Avenue railroad. Soon after it fell Thomas Whelan, driver of the Herald delivery wagon, came along. The horse stepped on the apparently harmless wire and instantly came to a .halt, and then sprang aside and fell. The jolt of the vehicle threw' Whe lan to the street, and when he arose to his feet he received a shock which threw him. prostrate into the gutter. Regaining his feet again he un dertook to raise the horse, but as soon as he touched the animal another shock passed through him. He then comprehended the cause and lay still. Citizens attracted to the scene noticed Hashes of the blue flame emitting from the prostrate animal. The Hashes came from all parts of the horse’s body, and the smell of burning ilesh was perceptible half a block away. Whelan w'as assisted to his feet hut the horse was given wit e berth. One man ran to the Thirt, - fifth street police station and re ported the matter and Sergeant McDonald and Roundsman Thomas Cassidy hurried to the scene. They saw the animal still emitting sparks of fire and calling out all re serves, a guard was established at points sufficiently far from the roasting animal to warn all way farers from the nearly fatal spot. Sergeant McDonald undertook to find the deadly wire ami in making a turn around the wagon he came in contact with it in the darkness. The wire struck him on the fore head and he fell te the pavement senseless as though h« had been shot. Roundsman Cassidy went to the rescue of his stricken commander and when he caught, hold of the the sergeant’s leg ire received a shock which compelled (dim to re lease his hold. l The second effort more successful!, and soon scffcer being carried to the sidewalk the ser geant slowly recovered has senses. His head was covered wdtfe blood and above his brow was ti»e aatpriiifc of the wire, while beside it was a gash evidently occasioned by the fail. Aboaut 7 o’clock, up to which time the house continued to roast slowly, it ieciaared to someone to send. io the Manhattan Electric height com pany’s shops in West T wenty-fifth street. Foreman Knight and two linemen visited the scene wearing rubber hoots and gloves, unci found the deadly wire, on the end of which the horse’s body lay. They pulled it down from the pole an;d travel was resumed alter the horse had been dragged off the track. A deep furrow was burnod on the animals hack. Efforts made to find the point where the wire crossed the elec tric transmitter were of no avail.. Quier Arrest. Looses Ills Foot to Sire His Life. Pottsville, Pa., Oct. 28.—An- the high sheriff of drew Sehwilick, a baggage master Sa-\ anu ah News. W. jL. Scott, Grimes cour ty, Texas, came to Georgia a few days ago with a war rant and requisition papers for the arrest, of Dr. Fulghum of Pulaski county, who is wanted in Texas on achargeof murder. It will be re membered that some months ago Deputy Sheriff Kelly, of Grimes county arrested E'r. Fulghum, and when Kelly reached Macon with his prisoner he was arrested by the police on a telegram from Sheriff Hunt, of Pulaski, and Kelly and D Fulghum were put in the bar racks, and later Dr. Fulghum was carried before Judge Roberts of Eastman, on a writ of habeas cor pus taken out by Fulghum’s friends, it being alleged that Fulghum was wanted on a warrant taken out prior to the Texas warrant, which also charged hnu with murder.— Fulton was remanded to the custody of the Georgia authorities, and Kellj had to return to Texas empty handed. Saturday Scott and De puty Sheriff W. E. Booth, of Bibb county, went to Ilawkinsville.— There they hired a horse and buggy and drove out to Dr. Fulghum’s house, about ten miles from Hawk- insvfile, and found him sitting in ins office Sunday, with a Winches ter ride ly. ng on a, table near him. Scott and Booth made a sudden rush at Fulghum and in the twink ling of an eye had the handcuffs on him. Fulghum told the officers that if he could have gotten his rifle he would never have been arrested. Fulghum was then carried to the buggy and they gave Mrs. Fulghum her husband’s future address in Texas, to which she could send the doctor’s CiOthes. The officers then drove rapidly t hrough the country to Vienua to throw the pursuers off the scent. Sunday night they went from Vienna to Americus and then left Americus for Columbus. At Columbus Officer Booth left Sheriff Scott and Fulghum, and returned to Macon. Sheriff Scott left with his prisoner lor Texas Monday. Chief- of-Police Kenan, of Macon re ceived a telegram from Sheriff Hunt, of Pulaski, io arrest Scott and Fulghum, but the couple never came to Macon, and by this hour are close to Texas. I’lijaDinns Confess. All honest, conscientious physicians who give P.. B B. (Botanic Blood Balm) a trial, frankly admit its superiority over all otner blood medicines. l)r. \V. .1. Adair, wkinart, Ga., writes: “I regard B. B. B. as one of the best blood medicines.” Dr. A. H. Boscoe, Nashville,Tenn., writes: -‘AI reports of B. 1. B. are favorable, and its speedy actions is truly wonderful.” Dr. .T. W- Rhodes, Crawfordville, Ga., writes: “I confess B. B. B. is the best and quickest medicine for rheumatism I have ever tried.” Dr. S. J. Farmer, Crawfordville Ga., writes: “I cheerfully reconuned B. B. B. as a tine tons: alterative. Its use cured an excrescence of the nec c after other remedies effected no perceptible good.” Dr. C. H. Montgomery, Jacksonville, Ala., wrues: “My mott.or insisted on my getting B. B. B. for her rheumatism, as hpr case stubbornly resisted tin usual remedies She experienced immediate relief and her im provement has been truly wonderful.” A prominent physician who wishes his Dame not given, says: “A patient of mine whose ease of tertiary syphilis was surely killing him, end which, no treatment seemed ,’.o check, was entirely cured with about twelve bottles of Jit. B. B. He was fairly m.-ule up of skin and bones and terrible alters.” ‘The Power of Ink. “A small drop of ink,falling., like dew, upon thought, claims that which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think.” wrote Byron. The inspiration of his pen might giv*; the dusky fluid such a far-ref»-;blng power, aud we wish we wer* pos sessed of such an inspiration,, that)] we might, through a like mejiiam, bring into such extended notice the matchless virtues of Dr. Pierce s Pleasant Purgative Pellets, [those tiny, sugar-coated granules Which contain, in a concentrated jform, FreeUieat Htrrinun StuOs Alabama's Exposition. Washington, Nov. o.—President Harrison formally opened the southern exposition at Montgom ery, Ala., to-day, by touching the key of a telegraph wire at the white house connected with the exposi tion building, and thereby starting the machinery in the hall. There is a difference in time of fitty-eight minutes between the two cities, and while it was 12:58 o’clock by Wash ington time when the president touched the key, it was exactly noon in Montgomery. The cabinet was in session when the preside nt w as informed that the connection had been made, and at his Invitation the cabinet repaired to the telegraph office and witness ed the act. The following message was sent to M.C. Burke, president of the exposition: “The president .and the members of his cabinet, who are assembled around the in- Hitrument, send congratulations and litest w ishes fox the success of your the active principle of vegetableexposition.” The extracts that dame nature designed , vaK received: especially to promote a healthy following reply action of bowels. the liver, stomaelj anti Augu«tm’« X«w Orphan Akjlum. Special to Atlanta Const’tution. j Augusta, Ga., Nov. 5—Thj» bid! of C. B. Allen to reppir and rebuild the orphan asylum in accorijlance- witli plans for $53,300, was accepted yesterday, and he was awardild the contract. j j Many people think that the word “battar ; ’ can be used only in connection with [an in toxicating beverage. This is a mtgtaike, as the best remedy for all diseases of the;blood, liyer, kidneys, etc., is Prickly Ash Bitters. It is purely a medicine and every {article used in its manufacture is of vegetable origin of known curative quaUties. ! The President and Cabinet: The (50*aHiern exposition managers ex tend to you their most grateful ittoaialM. M. C. Burke, President. PIMPLES Off THE FACE | Demote an impure state of the blood [ ao:lifir-e looked upon by many with j, suspicion. Acker’s Blood Elixir will aecnove all impurities and [ leave Uhe complexion smooth and 'dear. There is nothing that will sw thoroughly build up the constitu- Sikm., purify and strengthen the wlbole system. Sold and guaran tee! by Whitehead & Co., Waynes- t Wks, and !S. A. Harris & Co., Mid- y -file. —When yoci visit Waynesboro be sure ami call at our store and see our goodts and prices before you market. Scherer always keeps the [finest j buy , e j 9ew | ierf . Remember a penny y made^ Winter & Ellis. and best fruits to be foujnd :|ti the ^savec5 is a penr y cnade^ on the Reading railroad, had a thrilling experience at Schuylkill Haven this afternoon. He was crossing the railroad tracks at that point, and his foot caught in a frog. He made an effort to free it, but only succeeded in securing it still more firmly. At the same instant he heard the roar of an approach ing train, and looking up, saw one thundering down upon him at frightful speed. He w aved his arms aloft to the engineer, who put on the air brakes, but obviously to no purpose, as the train was traveling too fast. Sehwilick took in the ter rible situation at a glance. He comprehended that there was no possibility of freeing his foot nor of stopping the train before it should reach him. He determined if pos sible to save his life if he lost his foot. He threw himself at full length to one side as far as the im prisoned foot would permit, his body and the other leg being be yond the reach of the wheels, but, to prevent being struck by project ing portions of the axles, and thus have his whole body drawn under the wheel or crushed in other ways, he laid down flat. Down upon him swept the locomotive. The pon derous wheel caught his leg at the ankle, and crushed his foot to a jelly in a jiffy. With almost super human nerve he dragged his body and the released limb beyond the reach of turther mutilation, as soon as the locomotive had passed, and was soon assisted by onlookers to a neighboring store, where medical attendance was at once summoned. His fortitude commanded the ad miration of the sympathizers pre sent, and although he is almost 55 years of age, the doctors have hopes of saving his life. ALFRED i THREEI C.l UTIOX TO MOTHERS. Every mother is cautioned against giving her child laudanum or paregoric; it creates an unnatur al craving for stimulants which kill the mind or the child. Acker’s Baby Soother is specially prepared to benefit children and cure their pains. It is harmless and contains no opium or morphine. Sold by Whitehead & Co., Waynesboro, and E. A. Harris & Co., Midville. A Horae Jumps from a Moving Train. One day last week a freight train on the Georgia road neared Greens boro in a hurry. One of the cars in the train was loaded with western horses hilled to Orangeburg, S. C., via Augusta. Just above Greens boro a big horse began kicking, and by dint of perseverance rather than design, succeeded in battering down the door. He couldn’t utilize the advantage, being haltered, but there was a little mare aboard which had chewed a rope in two, and now roamed about at her own sweet will. She walked to the open door, looked lingeringly back at the other animals, and deliberately jumped out. The train was moving along at a rapid rate, but the mare was on her feet again in a moment, and immediately sprang between the rails and followed as fast as prac ticable. When the train reached Greensboro the open door was dis covered and one of the horses miss ed. People were just beginning to surmise as to what, had happened, when the little mare hove in sight, coming down the track at a spank ing gallop. Without the slightest hesitation she trotted up to the car door, whickered, was helped in and the train proceeded to Augu.-Ka. PEOPLE EVERYWHERE Confirm our statement when we say that Acker’s English Remedy is in every way superior to any and all other preparations for the throat and lungs. In whooping cough and croup it is magic and relieves at once. We offer you a sample bottle free. Remember, this remedy is sold on a positive guarantee by Whitehead &C<>., Waynesboro, and E. A. Harris & Co., Midville. The Sew Stales. Washington, Nov. 2.—The fol lowing dispatch was sent from the executive mansion at 4 o’clock this afternoon by Secretary Blaine to Governors Melletta and Miller, of North and South Dakota, Bismarck, North Dakota: “The last act in the admission of the two Dakotas as states in the union was concluded this afternoon at the executive mansion at 3:40 o’clock by the pres ident signing at that moment the proclamation required by law for the admission of the two states. The article, on prohibition, sub mitted separately in each state, was adopted in both. The article pro viding for minority representation in South Dakota was rejected by the people. This is the first instance In the history of the national gov ernment that two states, North and South Dakota, entered the union at the same moment. James G. Blaine.” Advertise in The Citizen. TWO PE it CENT No bette Number 28. With Stockholders liability width r;i:aran- tccs absolute ‘itifety lo all depositors. Tills is the oldest rtavi.igs, Bank iu this city •with an unbroken record of near y 20 years. It transacts a general Banking business in all of its branches, and is authorized tore* ceivc and disburse money, securities or |>roi>- erty in trust, and to act as financial agent lor any person fi-tit or corporation. Intere st allowed on deposits in the Savings Department :ipr3i,'8J-by .AKER, president. WILLIAM B. YOUNG, Cashier. AUGUST A SAVING S BANK, I 811 Solicits tl e account of Private FOUR PER CENT/INTEREST ERGEN INTEREST i>r sixty days. investment 1 can be for use Sf.ei!, Rut No Lilt. s. T Nov. 2.— Charleston, News comes from }8partenburg, one of the! best eot|on growing counties in |his state-, of a new’ cot ton plant which, if 'ti.4 as claimed, will make ii wonderful revolution in the agricultural aifd cotton oil interests of jj;he nation.} T. Ferguslson, and ; experienced cotton planter, claims jo have bred a cotton whfich will produce noth ing but cojt’on seed ^without the lint. * His statei'aent is briefly, as fol lows: He claims tha;t there are male and fr|r.ale cotton plants, the male being jdesignaied, he thinks, by the red ’stalks. Tf.a seeds are vari-coloredj the shades being gen erally blue, green ant? wh.te, and of course, cabcot he distinctly spec! fled. fact Ferguson com- Given thi nrenced sons the male p!a ed seperatel This proc e time agff to pick out hts and with the seed extracted trim them pfanteji anoth er patch s iperatety. | Whsn this crop was ready tor ^picking the male plant: were agjii.n selected and their production o' seeds plant- again. ss of selecting male plants is ke .tup until? at last the lint refuses to germinate, and noth ing rs left in the boots [hut a large amount of si ed. The amoi nt of setfd contained in the bol) ir more t^an equal lo the weight of the lift and seed found in the average sized boll of cotton. Ferguson duce four hu! to the acre ! where only now gathered He has be n very enlSeful in pro ducing the 'esults gi jjen above to obliterate al a boll of cott in a most rei Other expi rieneed p been shown {Ferguson’? ery an 1 are An expert plant and tl the common seed and ly tree from laims thaj he can pro- rdred bus, els of seed by this ne|v discovery hirty-fivej bushels are i with the^lint, n very cr ireful vistiges ht lint from on and Infs succeeded larkable nje'iner. -•ffer3 have ew discov- imieh st.juck with it. .vho was shown the e bolls., s lid the boll has the appearance both on the ex terior :\nd ir tne interim - of a regu lar boll of eo tton after !he lint has been picked out. ! The seed f is a little* larger than are perfect- any semb auce of lint. The bolls; an filled, wit i these seed which are usj numerous!as okra seed iri a pod of osira. The revolution that ’bid be effect ed by this new cotton plant, if it can he cultivated succ s ifu'ly, will be beyond calculation. A DC'AY TO YOUi SEl.F. It is surp: use a comm they can sec,, one for the s er’s Engli 1 cure for sick ising that n ordinar ire a vain ime mom y Pills ar beadach troubles. Tteu y are s easily takei Whitehead < i Co., Wn E, A. Harris New Orib and an & Co., M k people will ' pill when bk English Dr. Ac-k- positive lir a all liver nail, sweet, for sale by n esboro and ville. Avenue Teight ol lot on Kulei. ANS, NOV. Orleans Cottpt. Exchar statement to day base-1 returns of thi. making th<? differen average 2,018,713 balejs of this yeai’s cotton crop, embrapng the from September 1st to* overland to ilovember 505 22-100 pounds pe averages by? sections 534 2-i-lOO pollnds, Lou 1-100, Alabama 500, 71-100, South!Carolina' 4514 5-100, North Carol! nessee 501 5(7-100. Cm September weights, thA average of .. ._ . .. — 4 1.j^o months pc aids per the cotton wit for the together L 400 42-100 bale lighter ARE OU SKE'T If so we will convin Acker’s Eng’ sh Rem lungs Is supt aliens, and all throat and lungtro whoe pmg cough and guaran tee tl give you a s implebott bv Whitehesjd and E. A. H Johnny Bi. ks—Say —If you Pond Chill the dulls, No cure no Frog Pond. rior to ail is a & Co , irris, Mid\ this society >,:> .1 the Soifs of Benja min' Binks—Pejople who fold govern ment efffees junder the present ad ministration! >uy a hit Jure, and i *o back where you t ought and ge t, your 50c pay is the The New go issued a cn official exchanges, weight of >ort receipts )ct/-31sf, and si, ir elusive, bale. The ar;: Texas si arm 499 80 Georgia 45)8 951, Virginia ia 500, Ten- l pa red with CALi •e you that ;dy for the ther prepar- posiijlve cure for ibles,, croup, colds. We e preparation tind will e free. Sold Waynesboro ille. pa what is le cf Frog fails to cure, o the store way to buy BROAD STR Individuals, Guardians, Trustees, paid on Deposits. Accounts writ- allowed on certificates of deposits made, as money deposited with this should necessity require it. | EET. and others. ten up every January and July, remaining ninety days or longer. bank pays a good rate of interest, From Fremont, Nebraska. I have had scrofula until it made my life a burden. I was inexpres sibly miserable sick, weak, sleep less, and unhappy; desiring that the short time which seemed to have been alloted to me on this earth would hasten to an end. I tried doctors’ treatment and medi cine, and travel, but none of these did any good, for the scrofula gradually grew worse. One physi cian who I traveled tar to see, and to whom I paid $159, g av ® ub the case as hopeless after three weeks of treatment, and other as promi nent physicians tried hard to cure it, but was equally unsuccessful. I then gave up all other medicines, and took only Switt’s Specific (S. S. S.) Four bottles of that medicine cured me, and for the past four years I have had as excellent health and I ,am as free from disease as anybody living. Words are inadequate to express my gratitude and favorable opinion of Swift’s Specific (S. S. S.)” The above is an extract from a letter written under date of July 18th, 1889, by Mr. F. Z. Nelson, a prominent and wealthy citizen of Fremont, Nebraska. HIS CHILD GOT WELL. Swift’s Specific (S. S. S.) cured my little boy of scrofula, from which he had suffered a long time. I had tried physicians and great quanties of other medicines without avail. A few bottles of S. S. S. did the work. He is now enjoying, the best of health and has not had any symptoms of the disease for over a year. W. A. Clayton, Addie, N. C. Treatise on blood and skin dis eases mailed free. Swift Specific Co., Drawer 3, Atlanta Ga., A Mormon's Stratagem. Birmingham, Ala., Nov. 3.—A party of Mormon elders created considerable excitement in the northern part of Fayette county last week, and narrowly escaped lynching at the hands of the indig nant citizens. A young woman was going through the country preach ing Morinonism and made a num ber of converts. She was accom panied by two elders who kept in the background and had little to say. A few days ago it was discov ered that the eloquent preacher who was teaching Mormonism was not a woman, but a young man dis guised in female attire. This dis covery caused great excitement among the country people, especial ly those who had entertained the disguised preacher at their houses. Friday night a committee of citi zens waited on the three elders. Some wanted to lynch them on the spot; others proposed a coat of tar and feathers, and the three elders were badly frightened. Cool heads ruled the angry mob, and the elders were allowed to depart on their promise to leave the country in twenty-four hours never to return. They were warned that they would meet with summary punishment if they visited that locality again. Ha* Arerpted. Col. Buck has accepted the mar- shalship. nis acceptance will create a vacancy in one of the best places in the federal service. The clerk ship of the United States circuit court, which is worth $3,500 per year, is within the gift of Judge Don Pardee, the judge of that court. Col. Buck and Judge Pardee are warm personal friends, and the colonel’s recommendation concern ing his own successor will doubtless go a great way with Judge Pardee. The appointee is therefore almost certain to be Olin C. Fuller, who has been Col. Buck’s deputy clerk for some years. The person who furnishes items to a newspaper is always a valuable friend to the editor. Many persons hesitate about sending personal notes to a newspaper regarding the movements of friends lest the news paper man should think them too anxious to see their names in print. He will think nothing of the kind, but on the contrary he is glad to get such notes. Many seemingly unimportant items when printed are news to a large number of read ers. —Subscriptions are always cash. It is courtship that leads to the matrimonial sea. The corse t is a paradox. It comes to stay and yet goes to waist. “I hear John has a place under the government ?” “Yes.” “Make any money?” “Heaps; $100,000 a week. He’s in the mint.” Shrewd granger—There we are, Maria! Two Hundred ind ninety pounds—that’s 145 apiece, and for one cent, begosh! Since the ladies of Wichita have opened a cooking school, the city council is discussing the propriety of macadamizing the streets with biscuit. Harry—Mrs. Hautmonde is said to he a very self-denying woman, isn’t she? Larry—IdJeed sho is. Why, she denies herself io me every time I call. Don’t hawk, hawk, blow, spit, and disgust everybody wild vour offen sive breath, hut use Dr. Sage’s Ca tarrh Remedy and oral it. 50 cents, by druggists. My dear sir, how much votir daughter has grown this last sum mer. I can scarcely believe it. Why, her dress scarcely reaches to her shoulders. Mrs. Watts—What a sweet child your Willie is. He’s a perfect lit tle angel. I think. Mrs. Potts— No, not quite. He takes after his father in some of his ways. About thrs time of the year the talented theatrical star who started out this season to be his own mana ger pawns his diamond cellar but ton and buys a meal ticket. Almost everybody in this world is susceptible to flattery. The easiest way in the world lo flatter some people is to remark to them how impervious to flattery they are. Mrs. Jones—I want to buy some ribbon. Mrs. Brown—Well, let’s go to the bargain counter. O, no; I don’t want to pay three prices tor it. “I think it is quite pardonable ia a dude to get drunk occasionally,” said Withers. “It’s the only chance he ever has to let people know that ne has any kind of a head on him.” “I saw a goblet to-day made of bone.” “Pshaw! I saw a tumbler made of flesh and ’riood last night.” “Where ?’’ “At the circus.” Jay Gould, says the Baltimore American, began his business ca reer by selling maps. Since then he has been industriously ~rying to get possession of the country rep resented on those maps. “What do you think of charn- nagne at $4 a bottle, Downs?” in quired Mr. Madison Saucer. “I don’t think of champagne at $4 a bottle,” replied Upson Downes, sadly; “I think of beer.” Ella—“I know 1 am ugly, but I love you, Erastus; I have $20,(KK) a year. Will you many me?” .Eras tus—“Yes, darling; I’d marry you if you were twice so ugly—as you are, my beautiful birdie.” “There is a good deal of chance in politics,” said one tra /eling man tc another. “Yes,” said the speaker, who had been defeated at a receat election, “and the chance is very snail.” “Is C.S. Smith reliable?” asked a merchant of a mercantile agency attache. “No; he invariably breaks his word.” “Is that so ?” “Yes; he stutters.” “What makes you look so happy, Fred? Heard good news?” ‘ Yes Overheard my wife tell a neighbor this morning that instead of get ting a new bonnet this fall she intei ded to trim up her last year’s hat and save $10. Ten dollars will pay for 200 beers.” MissSlypp—“Mr. Penfeathei is so easily embarrassed,don’t you thi nk ? I asked him yesterday to tell me just what he really thought of nr.e and he was so taken by surprise that he could not say a word.” Miss Flyppe—“That was not em barrassment, it was merely polite ness.”