Newspaper Page Text
SUPPLEMENT TO THE NEWNAN NEWS — FRIDAY, DECEMBER 15, 1905.
Goto
Holt & Cates
for
Christmas
Goods.
Don’t Miss the
Great Display
of Dolls and
Toys. Gifts for
Old and Young
— ■■■■■ IU4, WkH«, Onn I*m.
Tbe wlon of pure ocean water and
Vie Tarylng ahadea observed where Im
purities are met with are diversified
by the coloring effects of the enormous
multitudes of various forma of organ
— Telegraph Operators’ Rians.
Telegraph operators always have per
sonal signs Which they place on all m»
sages they send or receive. Usually
they use two of their Initials or take
two letters from their names. For lu
lled life which sometimes mask the 1 stance, James Black will probably use
natural color of the surface of the sea
and tinge extensive areas with remark
able colors. Ked appears to be most
frequently met with. In the southern
parts of the Bed sea and In the Ara
bian gulf large areas are colored blood
red by microscopic anlmalculae, and In
the Indian ocean alinllar forms of life
oause, In addition to red, milk white
or yellow spots of great extent, the
"JB” as his sign. In many cases, how
ever, they choose their signs in peculiar
ways.
"We once had a man working here
who signed 'KB' because he hud taken
the Keelcy cure,” anld u Kansas City
chief operator. "He afterward went
back to drinking nnd then used 'IVA,'
deriving it from 'booze.' Another fel
low signed *1*8' because he used to say
appearance of which Is frequently he received a poor snlnry. A woman
alarming to the Ignorant sailor. Off operator wc had herC used to sign
the (iulnca coast ships sometimes np- I 'UK,' her Initials, until one dny her
pear to float In milk. Extensive red ! beuu Jilted her and married another
strenks are also known to occur In the ! girl. After that Hhe signed ‘BU,’ which,
south Atlantic and south Pacific, which
are caused by hosts of small rod Crus
tacea. The "Vermilion tea" of Cali
fornia owes Its brilliant color to In
fusoria. Arens colored green have l>een
noted, especially In the arctic regions,
which are due to myriads of diatoms,
and In some portions of the antarctic
seas diatoms of rusty color muke tho
water a dirty brown.
we understood, meant ‘broken heart.'
In an eastern office where I once work
ed then; was a hoodoo sign. It was
‘KQ.’ The first man who used it there
was killed by a train, the next one
I went crazy and the third died of ty-
[ phold fever. After that nobody In the
office dared use the hoodoo sign. The
| atoiy about Its l*elng a Jonah traveled
over the couutry, and toduy you'll find
very few operators signing ’KQ.’ ”
Here arc some
out of our big sd.
side. Head both
Christmas ideas—
items crowded !
on the other
of the ads for
Dow Meaeral Ilullrr l.oat a Horae.
While In front of Petersburg (leueral
Butler received Information that IiIh
favorite horse, Almond Kye, had beeu
accidentally killed by falling Into h
ravine. Upon the departure of his In
formant he ordered an Irish servant to
go and skin him.
American Kaaberanee.
A promluuut English statesman who
visited this country n few yeurs ago
was talking with friends aliout the na
tional characteristics of Americana and
gHve It as Ills opinion that the western
er Is the most truly humorous of the
What, la Almond Eye dead?" asked I citizens of the United States.
rat
bid
Doll or Toy Pianos.
One of the
most servicable
toys for girls is
s toy piano. Sim
ple and strong in
construction, the
’•fichoemit" piamtwill stand rough
service and hang together, Wt
have sold this make for five years
and believe it tho best of toys.
Povcn different patterns, 11V> to $10.
'What’s that to you? Do as I
you uud ask no questions."
Put went about Ills business and In
an hour or two returned.
I "Well, Pat, where Imve you been all
! this time?" sternly demanded tho geu-
i erul.
"HUuiilug the horse, yor houor."
"Does It take nearly two hours to
perform such an operation?"
"No, y«r houor, but then, you see, It
luck liout half uii hour to catch him,”
replied Pat.
General Butler east upon his servant
such u ferocious look that Pat thought
be meditated skinning an Irishman in
revenge for the deuth of hli horse.
"Why," said the Briton In explana
tion, "a relative of mine who frequent
ly visits the States for purposes of
siiort tells me tliut lie was entranced
by the reply mnde to him by tho pro
prietor of a hotel In Nebraska when ho
asked If there were any quull in tho
vicinity.
"‘Quail!’ exclaimed the proprietor.
‘I should say so! Why, they've got to
be a regular nuisance round here. My
<*ook complains that she can’t throw n
piece of toast out of the window with
out four or five fat qUHlI fighting to seo
which shall get on It!”’ — Woman’s
Home Companion.
Vnit ore* and a Dead Tiger.
The vulture is seen at Its best when
• dead tiger, brought into camp to be
skinned, Is exposed In the open. Over
head Is a cloudless sky, nnd not u bird
to be seen In that great Void by the hu
man eye. The tiger’s body is thrown
from the pnd to the ground, nnd before
the skin has been removed there above
one nnd nlwnys nearing the earth are
the vultures circling, poising like
things of ulr, now a dozen of them, In
a few minutes a score or two nrul then
a hundred strong. Then, when the
flayed cun-ass of the ti>fer Is left by
those who skinned It, the vultures de
scend. Down they come like feathered
thunder out of the sky, und from east
and west und north und south, the very
embodiment of power while they
whirled nloft and lu their quick de
scent to earth, and now, as they wad
dle around that carrion beast, mis
shapen ghouls, whose ouly apparent
strength Is that of the ravening Juws
which tear nnd gorge the tiger's tlesh,
until within the hour naught of that
splendid brute remulns but a clean
picked skeleton. — Sir Edward Brad-
den's "Thirty Yeurs of Shikar.”
Vali
Blocks and Unbreak
able Toys.
The Antiquity of FnotbnII.
If It Is not the oldest game In the
world football Is not far from It But
It has never been a game In which puny
'Hie Greek game was
When our Juniors see the common ,
white cnhlmge and sulphur wing but- ! nations played
terflles or even the superb Monarch originally culled pheninda, or feinting,
and gorgeous Ajax swallowtails flitting | ln,or “ was called eplskyrus, eplkoluos
, through the fields or at times city «*'<> l"*' 1 !’ harpaston under which
No twttor toy* for *mnll ohildron tlmii ! utroct* they perhaps never iflve thought * name it came to resemble football. The
“ " ■ blocks Ohildron - to the fact that butterflies may he of Koinun game was follls and was less
play contentedly for commercial value. But such Is the i rough. There wiik a center runner In
hours with blocks. I of our <lome stlc butter- harpastou. around whom the game was
Why? B oo a use | ln „ P „ tll)ln | fought out. . One side was given the
blocks allow scoisi ; „ r lc,.* from one to bnl >: the ot,1Pr 8,(10 cllosc " oontor - The
V iVSil diau'TiX several dollars, which collectors gladly ; rtde-with the ball stood some distance
ielV om'lle* pay to Insure the completeness of. their *»»<* a Hue on which ^center
everything from home f ! runner was posted, and at slgfil the
cabinets. Big prlees are paid for some
of the magnificent butterflies of tho
ninrphn hihJ paplllq genera, whloli nre
them repioaolil
to tfnius. JUooks are oducSI Inuni, sttin
ulntc the constructive faculty, provide
touuHoiftciit on* rainy days./ Tliey are
indestructible and make ideal toy*. Wc
show alsmt 20 different kinds.
Architectural
Blocks, in odd
shapes, for build
ing houses.arches,
ole., I ho, 26c, 40o,
70c, i an, i.iio.
Solid Cube
Blocks, cinhosscd nnd printed directly
un the wood, civji not oonio off, can not
lie smashed. 10c, -10c, f>0e, 66o.
Hollow wood blocks.
Humpty-Dumpty Circus, Jointed, . . ...
Clowns, tClcphiuit and Donkey oau be England they.ssy the das’ll once de-
pot In the most comical jxisitlons nnd termlned to build a bridge at Filey,
urc unbreakable. Three sixes, TOO, 1.2ft His Satanic majesty did not start the
bridge for the convenience of the peo-
pie. but for the destruction of ships
and eallore and the annoyance of flsher-
l>nll was thrown past tho middle mnn.
Plnycrs could be held back from secur-
«» -■/ * *» «*.*.«** *.
feel In wings. These flourish In trop- youths had no rush formation,
leal countries, and It Ip often necessary
for museums to semi out special ex
peditious for them. They range front
$10 to $100 In value.—Baltimore Herald.
H»Uo«k Marks.
Why do huildocks carry thoee pe
culiar black "finger marke” near the
bead? Houie tell us that they are a
memento of the pressure of 8t. Peter's
fingers when he went fishing for the
tribute money. On the Yorkshire coast
never seeming to have learned the val
ue of team work.—Outing.
and 2.26.
•m
••■ad.
Tho word baffled now has a mean
lug entirely different from that ap
plied to It :u»0 years ago. it Is now un
men lu general. In the progress of hie
work Old Nlok dropped his hammer In
to the see. Snatching st It hastily, he
caught e haddock, and all haddocks
derstood to mean thwarted, foiled or the Imprint of hie black fingers
disappointed, but thou It was applied
to the process of degradation by which
e knight was disgraced. A baffled
knight was one who bad been pro
nouuccd guilty of conduct unbecoming
one of Ills order and bad accordingly
been shorn of Ids plumes, bis sword
was hrokeu before Ids eyes, bis knight
Jy robe lorn away, bis spurs cut off
with a cleaver, and after beiug public
ly chastised be was declared to be baf
fled. The word Is used In this sense by
Shakespeare and other writers of thut
time.
About Bnithlnx.
In the ordinary respiration of man
sixteen or seventeen cubic Inches of at
mospheric nlr pas* Into the lungs twen
ty times a minute, or a cubic fool every
five uud one-quarter minutes, 274 cubic
feet In twenty-four hours. The lungs
bold '.’.SO cubic feet. At each respira
tion 1.376 of oxygen Is converted Into
carbonic acid gas. The nitrogen In- I
spins! and expired Is exactly equal.
During the act of Inspiration the lungs
have been found to be the coldest parts
of the body.
to this day.
Acute Sense of Hearing.
“Yes," said the prosperous lawyer In
speaking to a friend, “I had a long
wait before I got any practice, but I
am certainly satisfied now with my
profession and Its emoluments.
"The early days, the waiting for cli-
onta, was hard, though. Why, do you
know that I got so after awhile that
when I heard a footstep on the etatra I
could tell utnety-nlne times out of s
hundred whether or not the person was
coming to my office?"
“Well, that Is strange," replied his
frleud. "Your sense of hearing must
have been very acute:"
"Not so much that,” replied the law
yer. "You see, I made up my mind
that they wore not coming to my office,
and ninety-nine times out of a hundred
I was right.”
A Hank Pessimist.
A Lady Bountiful living In n subur
ban village met nu old man on the road
one day and asked after Ids family, his
health, etc, The old uiuu gave a rather
gloomy accouut of things. He had to
work all day and every day, and be
wns growing old und felt the cold and
was always tired, lie wished be could
rest a bit nfter his long life of labor.
Ho was weary, very weury.
Lady Bountiful reminded him gently
thut every one lmd his share of work
to do In this world, and that It was all
only n preparation of the world to
come, where there will be no tears or
labor.
The old man shook his head and smil
ed cynically.
"That may be for the likes of you,"
he said. "But there'll be work for the
likes of me. It will be the same thing
there: ‘John, clean the sun.’ 'John,
hang out the moon.’ ’John, light the
stars.’ ‘John, stop the wind.’ They will
find something for me to do, ma’am—
you'll see.”
Cnttlns • Games.
It Is said that the stone from which
cameos are cut—onyx and sardonyx—
Is so plentiful on the Uruguay river,
In Brazil, that ships often tnke It away
as ballast. Nevertheless perfect pieces
of large size are costly, a piece suit
able for a large portal costing ns much
as $76. This stone Is preferred for
eftmeos because of Its hardness and
durability and Is suitable for such work
owing to the fact that It comes In lay-
ers of contrasting color, as black and
white, black and cream or red and
white. When the cut figure Is sunk in
to the stone instead of being raised the
cutting Is called an Intaglio. The cost
of these gems Is due to the time and
skill required In the work. Formerly
a small gem might occupy an artist for
a year or more, but with modem ap
pliances the work can be done much
more rapidly. Still the ancient work
bears the palm for artistic excellence.
The cutting Is now done by holding
the stone against a revolving drill
whose soft steel face Is covered with
diamond dnst. No Bteel Is hard enough
to cut the stone. The utmost patience
and camion and delicate handling are
required, as the slightest slip may be
fatal to the work.
A Wonderful Hide.
The most wonderful straightaway
ride ever made by man was the gallop
of Francis Xavier Aubrey, cl-devant
Canadian voyugeur nnd a famous pony
express rider, from Suntn Fe, N. M.,
to Independence, Mo., In 1863 — 800
miles In five days and thirteen hours.
In 1862 he had covered the snme dis
tance in a little over eight days, and
his record was on the wager of $1,000
that he "could do It In an even eight.”
In the whole distance he did not stop
to rest, and lie changed horses only
with every 100 or 200 miles. He wns n
stocky Fgeneh Canadian, light henrted,
genial, adventurous ami absolutely'
f> irlens. For some time he wns an
onerland freighter, und he also made
the cnorthously difficult*nnd dangerous*
drive of a llock of sheep from New
Mexico to California across the desert*
of the Colorado. He was killed In San
ta Fe.—McClure's Mngaslne.
Conceit.
Conceit U essential to rapid advance
ment- not overconceit, hut conceit In
reasonable volume. The conceit of
youth becomes the assurance of old
age. If you’re master of your conceit,
you have hack of you a slave of unlim
ited assistance, if conceit la your inns-
ter, you’re doomed to failure. But
don’t cultivate self conceit It's a lusty
plant. Give It half a chance and It
will outgrow your self respect—N. C.
Fowler, Jr., In “Gumption."
A SnHMtlrc Sermon,
Tho Bov. Dr. Howard, chaplain to
Princess Augusta, wns so fond of good
living thut he ran Into debt with many
of tho tradesmen In his parish. It was
In their special Interests thut he one
day preached from the text, “Have pa-
tiencu, and 1 will pay you all.” He
spoke at great length on the virtues of
patience and then proceeded, “I now
come to the second part of my dis
course, which Is, ‘and I will pay you
all,' but that 1 shall defer to a future
occasion."—Loudon Standard.
■ulr Aatocrapli Hunter*.
A certain Atossa In early Roman days
seems to have been the mother of au
tograph collectors. Cicero had a collec
tion, which must have been a fine one,
for he speaks of It with particular
pride. The fever, even In thoee far
back days, was contagious. Pliny
speaks of Pompeius Becundus, at
whose house be had seen autographs
of Cicero, .Augustus, Virgil and the
Gracchi, and his own collection was
valued at $16,000 of our money. Then
came the Inrush of barbarians, and we
do not again meet with the collector
until the beginning of the sixteenth
century, when he reappears In the per
son of a Bohemian squire, who kept a
book to record his exploits In the chase
and enriched It with the signatures of
hie great hunter friends.
Correa lu the Coffee House.
Johu Phllpot Cumin, the famous
Irish lawyer, ranks among the wittiest
men the Emerald Isle has ever pro
duced. His wit, however, was some
times turned agulnst himself by the In
tended victim, the following story, tak
en from the volume of biographical
reminiscences entitled "Mrs. Brook
field nnd Her Circle," furnishing an
amusing example of how Curran was
once outdone:
A brisk young widow In some part of
Irelaud. used to preside at the table of
a coffeehouse patronized by Curran.
Her name was Honor, and one day
there was some disputed charge.
Curran slyly winked nt the friend
who happened to be dining with him
and proposed "honor and honesty."
“By all means,” added the widow
briskly, bolding her glass to be filled,
“let us drink to Mr. Curran’s absent
friends."
Daisies Follow Railways.
"Buttercups and dalBles follow rail
roads the world over,” said un en
gineer. "In India, In central Asia, in
Brazil, the parallel rails run continual- |
ly between meadows white and yellow
with home flowers. In the construction
of all foreign railways American or
English engineers have a band. These
men know that good home grass la the
best thing for holding together the
earth on embankments. Grass Is tough
and lasting. It strikes root so easily
that It practically cements the most
flimsy earthworks. So grass seed from
home is sown on railway embankments
all over tbe world by the home en
gineers helping to build them, and thus
In the most tropical places, among gor
geous orchids pud palms and giant
cacti, you will see mt!e after mile of
wholesome, clean home grass, studded
with white daisies and yellow butter
cups.” r '' ’ ' j -
The Care* of Scotlaad.
Among the reasons why the nine of
diamonds has been called the curse of
Scotland are the following:
Diamonds, nine of, called the curso
of Scotland, from a Scotch member of
parliament, part of whose family artns
Is the nine of diamonds, voting for the
Introduction of the malt tux into Scot
land. — "Chronology; dr, The Histo
rian’s Compuniun,’’ Fourth Edition, by
Thomas Tegg, London, 1826.
There Is a George Campbell men
tioned In Burton’s “History of Scot
land’’ as having caused the nine of
diamonds to be called the curse of
Scotland because he stole nine dia
monds out of the royal crown In the
reign of Mary Stuart, In consequence
of which all Scotland was taxed.
laeeaelble to Pala.
A mother’s love for her children is al
ways being illustrated, not only In
books, but In real life. A true story Is
told of a Indy whose baby was very ill
and who sat watching the child with
absorbed attention, every Instant fear
ing another convulsion nnd praying for
deliverance from It. At her side stood
an older child, who had stolen Into the
roonf unobserved and who wss try lug
to prick the little blnck spots in mam
ma's muslin sleeve with n needle he
bad found. Presently the father came
in, and the little child was seen and
sent away.
“What Is the matter with your arm?’’
whispered the gentleman to his wife
when at last they turned to each other
and smiled Ihelr thankfulness that the
baby had fallen asleep.
“I don’t know,” said she. “Nothing
that 1 am aware of.”
She put up her hand and found that
the thin muslin sleeve was soaked
with blood. The little boy had becouio
so absorbed In his sport thnt he had
Jabbed with all his might, and she In
her terrible anxiety had not felt Uio
thrusts.
Cleanlna Men's Clothe*.
A tailor of fifty years’ experience
gives the following Information:
All men’s clothing to be Cleaned
should be thoroughly beuten and brush
ed. Some things ure so dirty It Is ab
solutely necessary to wash them as
any other woolen goods. Iron on tho
wrong side. To remove spots, use tho
following:
Two ounces of hartshorn, un ounce
of castlle soap, a quarter of nn ounce
of saltpeter. Dissolve lu a quurt of
rain water.
He has used many cleaning mix
tures, but considers this the best. Put
a wad of soft cloth (like nu old towel)
under the spot, saturate well aud rub
hard. The secret of success lies In
hard rubbing, which will drive tho
grease through Into the wnd of cloth.
Rub dark goods with dark woolen aud
light goods with light. Press on right-
side with damp cloth between iron aud
garment.—Buffalo News.
UUxbmU.
”1 regret to say,” remarked the young
physician, "that you have peristaltic
neurilemma. Tbe symptoms ere un
mistakable.”
"Dear me!" exclaimed the astonished
patleut. "Wbnt In the world Is
stalttc neurilemma, doctor?"
"It Is, sir, the disease from which you
are suffering," answered the young M.
D. haughtily.—Chicago New*.
The Alexandrite.
Don’t think that your knowledge of
wonder gems Is complete till you have
•een an "alexandrite,’’ green by day
and red by night. And such a green-
perl- olive brouse, with a potent suggestion
that red Is there. Green when held In
the sunlight. In a darkened room with
artificial light a ruby where the emer
ald was a moment before—a tawny
wine red of exquisite tone.
Vkn Death Cool* HI* Silas.
There Is a curious superstition In Ja
maica that If a death occurs in the
house all the water In It is poisoned at
once aud must be throwu away, tbe
reason given being that "death" cools
dered saffron put under the wings will
drive away the pests. Gravel in the
Caaarle*.
Sometimes a canary’s coat gets a
pale, sickly yellow. Give him half an
ounce of ground red pepper such as Is
used on your table nnd let the bird eat
It as he likes. In a week he’ll turn a
beautiful orange color. Bird lice are
troublesome at times. A pinch of pow-
The 1’olnt of View.
"It nil depends on the point of view,"
he sslil reflectively.
"Whst do you mean?" she asked.
"Well, by way of Illustration," he an
swered, "there's Mrs. Jones next door,
who sings all day long. Looking Rt It
from one point of view, we say, ‘Ilnp-
py woman!’ and from another, ‘Unhap
py neighbors’.’ "
Soch Friendly Friend*)
Maude— Jack Huggins 1ms been call
ing on me for nearly three months. I
expect a proposal soon. Clara—Oh,
Jack never rushes things'. It was at
least five months before he proposed
to me.—Chicago News.
■a* oral Bnooah.
Jolkley—I once heard a man say that
he would rather be an ex-convlct than
anything else he could think of. Polk-
ley—The Idea! How eccentric! Jolkley
—Not at all The man was In the peni
tentiary at the time.—Philadelphia
Ledger.
Heaeonohlo Reqeeet.
Lawyer—Your honor, 1 want an In
terpreter for my client. Judge—What
language does he speak? Lawyer—
He’s a railroad brakeman.—8t Louie
Poet-Dispatch.
Th« TctrUfli Battle.
The Tearless battle was fought be
tween the Spartans on one side and
the Arcadians and Arjlvee on the other
387 B. C. Not a Spartan fell In the
first water he finds, and as no one can
tell—death being Invisible—what Jar
be may choose it Is safest to throw it
all away. Careful people to save trou
ble even carry all water out of the
bouse Immediately before a death Is
expected.
Almir Well Made.
"Miss Deepley does make some of the
most Inapt quotations,” remarked ;
Bragg.
"Yes?" queried Newltt “What, for
Instance?"
“Well, last night I remarked that I j
always avoided political discussion be- |
cause I didn’t want to make a fool of
myself, end she said, ‘One cannot paint
the Illy or gild refined gold.’ "—Phila
delphia Press.
cage every day and a dish of tepid wa
ter for a bath every other day are In
dispensable to the singer’s health and
happiness.
Resinned.
"Now,” said the physician who Is not
ed for his heavy charges, “I must take
your temperature.”
“All right,” responded the patient In
a tone of utter resignation. "Tou’ve
got about everything else I own.
There's no reason why you shouldn’t
take that too."—Paris Journal.
Indian Summer.
Indian summer Is, tho short spell of
warm days in October or November ac
centuated by the first chill of autumn
which has preceded It. Sometimes It
lasts as long as a fortnight, and It has
been observed to recur twice or thrlco
lu a season, though this is quite rure.
An atmospheric phenomenon of the -
same nature has received the name of
“St. Luke’s summer” In Germany, "St.
Martin’s summer” In England; the
feasts of these saints being Oct 18 aud
Nov. 11 respectively. The flame In
dian summer is of un unidentified ori
gin. It hae been established thHt It
does not appear on any record earlier i*
than 1784, but when first recorded it-
was as-a term In general use. The use i-f-
ok the . expression In 1778 by Horace i'
Walpole clearly referred to the torrid *
slimmer of the West Indies and not to v
this pleasant period of tbe northern
autumn, ■ t
The Satan of the Ureeka. V'/V
The Greek conception of the evil one,
whom they call Yoma, makes that per- ‘
sonage oue of the most satanlc of the/,
whole evil tribe. Accordltig to' their -
Ideas of him, he Is 240 miles high and-*
the hairs on his body stand out like- T
palm trees on a mountain side. He-
punishes the doomed being Submitted
to his charge by putting them in beds
of boiling oil, sawing their bodies In
two, pouring molten lead In their ear*
and such other little pranks as palling
out fhfeir tongues, toe and finger nails
and gouging out their eyes. He Is a
heartless old fiend of the most fiendish
kind and has many other exquisite lit
tle tortures laid up for the helpless
wretch consigned to his “chamber of
horrors.”
Tho Coat I* Hot Smell,
With tbe exception of tbe English
penny, the cent Is the largest minimum
unit of money in the civilized world.
Roughly speaking, our cent Is worth 2
kopecks, 2 cent* Mexican, Chinese and
East Indian, 2 atts or mllllemes. It Is
two and a half times larger than the
cent of the Netherlands or the kreutzer.
There are 4 pies, ore, or pfennigs to the
cent or 6 banl, centeslml, lepta, heller,
pennla, centimes or Btotlnkl. A cent
is worth 10 paras Turkish or 10 Japa
nese rln, 11 cash Chinese or 60 parus
Servian. What the trolley car con
ductors of Servla aay when tendered a
five cent fare In paras would probably
not be fit to print.
Reaaaured.
“Ton haven’t married me Just to
pplte somebody else, have you?*’ she
asked, looking anxiously up Into hta
honest blue eyes.
“No, dear,” he absentmlndedly re
plied. "I took you for your money
She Pole oa tho laveetment.
"Here," complained the aggrieved
father, “I have spent nearly $16,000
engagement, and so. Plutarch says, the on that girl’s education, and now she alone."—Chicago Record-Herald
; Lacedaemonians celled it the Tearless goes and marrtee-a $2,600 a year clerk."
; battle. “Well,” said the friend of tbe family,
“Isn’t that all of 16 per cent on your
a safe Opening. Investment? What more do you want?"
HI* Treaanre.
The Count, (who has had s little tiff
with his fiancee, the heiress)—But my
treasure— The Helreea—Tour treasure?
Your Investment you mean.
"It does not follow that a safe open
ing Is necessarily a secure sort of bust
ness,” muttered the burglar as he be
gan bis drilling, "especially as one has
to do so much blowing about it"—Bal
timore American.
How She Liked Him.
"Well, Maggie, you have now been
married a year. How do you like your
husband?"
"Sober, mum."—Houston Poet
Vakoeked.
Lady (hiring cook)—Are you unat
tached at present? Applicant—Ol think
01 am. Ol dressed In a burry, mum.—
Puck.
Welcome Trouble.
Miss Newltt—May’s In trouble. She’s
had proposals from two men and can’t
choose between them. Miss Paseay—
Heavens! And does she call that trou
ble?
Careleeaoese.
The Young Doctor—Just think, six of
my patients recovered this week. The
Old Doctor—It’s your own fault my
boy.' You spend too much time at the
club.
Meaa* of Soeceee.
Stern Father—He who sows the wind
reaps the whirlwind. Prodigal Bon—
Well, be raises the wind anyway.
Two Loves.
“But Emma, how can you prefer the
plain and shabbily dressed Julius to
my elegant and handsome brother?”
“That is quite simple. Your brother
Is In love with himself, and Julius with
me.’’—Paris Journal.
Rick.
“I suppose your Idea of a rich man
Is one who has everything he wants?"
“No; It’s one who has everything I
want”—Philadelphia Ledger.
Madison’* Mint Julep Bet.
Among the trees at the edge of tbe
lawn on the right hand side of the
house aa you face the mountains James
Madison built an icehouse. This was
In 1809, and it was the first icehouse
In Orange county, Va. Ice In summer!
His servants were Incredulous. And he
bet bis overseer an Iced mint Julep on
tbe Fourth of July, against which the
latter wagered a wild turkey. Of
course Madison won the turkey.—Coun
try Life In America.
The Common Mistake.
“Bllggins says that when he went to
school he was one of the brightest boys
in his class.”
“Yes," answered the sporting man;
“that’s where so many of ns fall down
—getting out of our class."—Washing
ton Star.
A spot Is most seen on the finest
doth.—German Proverb.
Tbe way of the world Is to praise
dead saints end persecute living ones.—
Howe.
A Veteran.
Lawyer—The cross examination did
not seem to worry you a little bit
Have yon bad any previous experience?
CUfent—Six children.
A Vast Difference.
She—Mr. Riche says very bitter
things about those lazy sons of bis, but
his wife is always making excuses for
them. He—Yes, she makes excuses,
but he has to make allowances for
them. That's what angers him.
Thoughts go forth to purposes, pur-
poets go forth In actions, actions form
habits, habits decide character, and
character fixes oar destiny.—Try on Ed
wards.