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TRENCH & CAMP
. Fcbllahed weekly at (ho Nation*! Camps and Cantonments for the soldiers of the
United States.
National Headquarters
* Hoorn 504, Pulltxer BuUdlnc
New York City
JOHN STKWART BRYAN
Chairman of Advisory Hoard of Co-operating Publishers
Camp and Location Newspaper Publisher
Camp Beauregard, Alexandria, LaNew Orleans Times PicayuneD. D. Moore
Camp Bowie. Fort Worth. Texas Fort Worth Star TelegramAmon C. Carter
Camp Cody. Doming, N. MexEl Faso HeraldH. D. Slater
Camp Custer, Rattle Creek, Mich. Battle Creek Enqatrer-NewsA. L. Miller
Camp Devens, Ayer. Mass. Boston GlobeCharlea H. Taylor, Jr.
Camp Dlx, Wrightstown, N. J.... Trenton Times James Korney
Camp Dodgo, Dee Moines. lowa..Des Moines Register Gardner Cowles
Camp Doniphan, Fort Sill, Okla Oklahoma City Oklahomanß. K. Gaylord
Co-mp Fremont. Pa'o Alto, Cal San Francisco Bulletinß. A. Crothers
Camp Funston, Fort Riley, Kan Topeka State Journal.. Frank P.MacLennan
Camp Gordon, Atlanta, G*Atlanta Constitution Clark Howell
Camp Grant, Rockford, IIIThe Chicago Dally News...,Victor F. Lawson
Camp G/'ene, Charlotte, N. CCharlotte O « jrverW. P. Sullivan
Camp Hancock. Augusta, Ga».Augusta Heraldßowdre Phlnlxy
Camp Jackson, Columbia, S. C. .Columbia State tW. W. Ball
Camp Johnston, Jacksonville. Fla Jacksonville Tlmes-UnlonW. A. Elliott
Camp Kearny, Linda Vista, Cal Los Angeles Times Harry Chandler
Camp Lee, Petersburg, Va. Richmond News Leader John Stewart Bryan
Catnp Lewis, American Lakes, Wash Tacoma TribuneF. S. Baker
Camp Logan. Houston, Texas Houston PostGovt'h J. Palmer
Camp McArthur, Waco, Texas Waco Morning News Charles E. Marsh
Camp McClellan, Anniston, Alaßirmingham (Ala.) NowsF, P. Glass
Camp Mead'-. Admiral, MdWash., D. C., Evening Star Fleming Newbold
Fort Oglethorpe, Go. Chattanooga (Tenn.) Times H. C. Adler
Camp Pike, Little Rock, Ark Arkansas Democrat Elmer B. Clarke
Camp Sevier. Greenville, S. CCharleston, S. C-, News and Courier..R. C. Singling
Camp Shelby. Hattiesburg,. Miss. New Orleans Item James M. Thomson
Camp Sheridan, Montgomery, Ala Montgomery AdvertiserC. H. Allen
Camp Zachary Taylor, Louisville, Ky.. Louisville Courier Journalßruce Haldeman
Camp Travis. San Antonio, Texas.... ) „ « v-,.
Kelly Field and Camp StanleyJ S * n Anton, ° Light Charles a Diehl
Camp Upton, Yaphank, L 1., N. Y.. ...New York World..'.Don C. Seltx
Camp Wheeler, Macon, GaMacon TelegraphP. T. Anderson
Published under the auspices of the National War Work Council, Y. M. C. A. of the
United States, with the co-operation of the above named publishers and paper*
Distributed free to the soldiers in the National Camps and Cantonment* Civilian
subscription rates on application.
Some of the kill-joys who come to
visit the camps as if they were visiting
I a menagerie seem to think there is
■ something sinfully shameful in the
J jokes of the boys. According to the
'shocked appearance of these worthies,
ithe moment a man puts on a uniform,
he ought to be as solemn as on in
spection; and as for a joke, what right
has a man who is going to scent pow
der to let himself smile. There’s a
funeral ahead, they argue: prepare for
it now.
We of the camps should like for a
few of these mortals to spend a few
days in any camp and not laugh—not
because there is anything peculiarly
amusing about sentry-go in the snow,
but because if you do not laugh you
are apt to forget how. This “grim
business of war,’’ as they call it in
Congress, is like any other business.
If you look at one side of it all the
"time, you grow stale. If you keep
thinking about the “crosses on the
If you swear under your breath as
you get ready for inspection, and if
you ask your pal what a soldier’s pol
ish has to do with his fighting punch,
be so good as to remember how Brit
ish buttons contributed to British
bravery.
What have buttons to do with
bravery?
More than you think.
For on that desperate retreat from
Mons, when the British had to fight
and fall back and fight to the last
breath of the stoutest old Tommy, the
officers said, “What’s the use of mak
ing the poor devils polish their but
tons and burnish their equipment?
They get little enough rest; give them
what they earn.”
So they told the boys that the rou
tine was suspended until further or
ders and that they need not polish
their buttons any more. Tommy, is
.like every other soldier, and when his
j captain told him he might leave this
off, Tommy reasoned that shoes were
no more important than buttons, c«
equipment than shoes, or face than
equipment. So he let his beard grow
and his equipment get dull. He did
not fight with the mud on his boots
or give a thought to those blasted
buttons of bis. Naturally enough, it
“CONSCIENTIOUS EJECTOR”
A good story is told by Sir Auck
land Geddes concerning an interfer
ing public house loafer and a Cana
dian soldier who bore on his shoul
der straps the initials “C. E.,” which
stand for Canadian Engineer.
The soldier, his face a study in
concentrated wrathfulness, had the
civilian by the scruff of the neck and
was apparently just on the point of
giving him a thrashing when a be
lated policeman put in an appear
ance.
“Now, then, what’s all this about?”
demanded the constable.
“What’s it about?*” replied the Ca
nadian, giving the wretched loafer
an extra shake to emphasize his
i words. “Why, he called me a con
scientious ejector. Now watch him
;being ejected.”
ALPHABETICALLY SPEAKING
K is said be the most important
'letter in the Russian alphabet, but
Jays seem to have predominated late
ly and this probably accounts for the
inability of the Russians to C.
LAJJGH, BLAST YOU, LAUGH!
BUTTONS AND BRAVERY; POLISH AND PUNCH
TRENCH AND CAMP
hill,” you get as morbid as though you
belonged to the grave-diggers’ detail,
and after you have been morbid long
enough, you either go crazy or become
hardened.
Viewed from the other side, the
good humor of the men is a positive
asset to the army. There never was
but one victorious army that never
smiled, and that army was Cromwell’s.
Every other body of fighting men that
won a place in history knew how to
smile, how to laugh and how to make
the very best of the hardships that
came. What helps the army helps the
men who make it up. All things be
ing even, the man who knows how to
smile is a better soldier than the man
whose face is like crepe on a door
knob. The mess that jokes is seldom
a mess that su!ks.
And what is the reason for all this?
Just the plain common-sense maxim
that the man who finds life worth liv
ing will fight harder to live.
was not many days before Tommy re
sembled a hobo so closely that he
could not have identified himself in a
mirror. And when one Tommy saw
the earmarks of the “bum” on his pal,
he decided that something had hap
pened to him and that his pal had lost
his punch. Consequently, when Tom
my had to sustain the next charge of
the Germans, he argued there was r<
use standing if the other man intended
to run. He beat him to it—and that
meant threatened disaster.
At length the amazed officers saw
the connection between button and
bravery. They traced back the changed
psychology of Tommy and they de
termined that no Tommy thereafter
should ever lose heart because his
mess-mates looked like cut-throats'.
Back to polishing. his buttons went
Tommy and back with the polish on
the buttons came Tommy’s old-time
punch.
That is why he is polishing still, no
matter whether he is in billets or
dodging German grenades. And that
is why Tommy’s cousin is polishing,
too. A uniform does not make a
soldier and polished buttons do not
win a bar cr a medal; but the soldier
who looks fit feels fit, and when he
feels fit he is fit to fight!
WOULD SUIT EXPLORER
Hearing that Captain Rolad
Amundsen, the polar explorer, had
visited the American sector on the
western battlefront in Europe, many
of the soldiers in training camps in
this country remarked that “He
would have felt more at home here.”
In one of the camps in Wisconsin the
temperature recorded one morning
was forty-two, degrees below zero.
In other words, the mercury shriv
elled up like the Kaiser’s hopes of
Germanizing the world.
“THE BEST MEANS”
Writing to the editor.of Trench and
Camp a soldier at Camp Sevier said:
"Trench and Camp keeps us posted
on all the live, snappy, up-to-date
news of the camp, as well as war news
in general, besides abounding In
amusement and entertainment.
It is also the best means of letting
Che folks back home know what we
are doing.”
Do you know anything the home
folks would like better?
CANTONMENT TYPES
THE M. P.
NOT Member of Parliament, though mayhap as powerful, nor any of
the other things which humorous and semi-humorous Interpretations
of the Initials make it—hut Military Police. |
'Wearers of the plum-polored, black-collared Robes of Distinction,
where would “us boys” (Including all soldiers under the age of ninety-six)
be without you! Minions of the law sprouting up in the midst of law and
order raised to its highest coefficient! Wheels within wheels! Blessings
Gn you, upright, stern-vlsaged and unrelenting, wherever you may be hold
ing .post,' afoot or mounted!
M. P,, among thosb other above-mentioned humorous and s.-h. desig
nations, might be with a Past. They include some of the pick and
flower of city police forces, from Dan to Beersheba, including N. Y. and
Chi. They have faced the striking rioters with their night sticks, side arms
and solid blue, in many a port and clitne. They have winged the bounding,
burglarious second-etory man and the feather-fingered “dip” in the con
ventional light overcoat. Their quarry has been everything from runaway
three-year-olds to murderers. And some have been clerks and farmers- —-
but they too were Men with a Past in their particular block of quarter
section.
Now they’re in the Army of Freedom. It’s everything from directing
visitors and keeping back the crowd at a regimental boxing match, to
watching the trains for “tea” smugglers. And, considering the vast num
ber of soldiers under their watchful care, the duties of the M. P. along the
more serious lines are light. He stands as a friendly and efficient symbol
of Law-and-Order Imbuing the Army.
WANTED MONEY DIRECT
A Russian peasant in a German
prison camp, having heard that ap
peals for assistance were being an
swered, decided to write a letter and
ask for money with which to buy
food and clothing. Not knowing to
whom else to appeal, he wrote a let
ter to God, asking for one hundred
marks. .
Hlb letter attracted attention at
the censor’s office and was referred
to the War Ministry. The officers
there collected twenty-five marks
and sent them to the Russian pris
oner, thinking they had thereby done
a good turn. The prisoner, however,
waq not well satisfied, as was ap
parent from his reply in which he
thanked God for the twenty-five
marks bat cautioned Him to send
future money direct rather than
through the War Ministry, saying
that the rascally officials there had
kept seventy-five marks and had sent
’him only twenty-five.
COLLEGE MEN DOING BIT
Only six of the seventy-three Har
vard students who won their "H” in
athletics last year are still in the uni
versity. The other sixty-seven are
in the war. More than fifty Yale
p.rofesaprs and instructors are now
engaged In war service. /
A GRAND AND GLORIOUS FEELING
FMHK HIN£S/
IU FtgU) XfrriUUEKT. "VT''-
HAMO- CAM? UXAM VIWBp
The First Strides
.TOMMIE SIZES UP SAMMIE
’E’d rawther ’ave 'is coffee than ’is beer.
’E cawn’t tyke any pleasure dr inkm
tea,
'E calls "The Lunnon Times’’ in
langwidge queer, ;
Official organ—of a cemetery.
’E speaks in such a bloomin' funny
teyc— . _ i I
'E talks of buddies, side-kicks, mutts
and geeks,
But ’e can ’old ’is end up any dye,
And every blinker listens when 'e
speaks. i
i I
So 'ere’s to you, Sammie Wammie, if
you’ll let me call you so.
It seems jolly strange to ’ear you call a
kippy blink a bo, 1
But no matter wot yer langwidge, and
no matter wot you do, ' j
Hi daresay we 'ave some failin’s woi
seem bloomin’ strange to you.
—Detroit Saturday Night,
TENTS PREFERRED
The bitter, cold, winter weather
has caused a great many civilians to
express sympathy for "the poor boys
living out In the fields in tents.”
Soldiers old and new, insist that they
are more comfortable in tents, prop
erly put up, protected and heated,
than they would be in cantonments
or barracks. ’
March 61
