Newspaper Page Text
W ednesday, Sept. ZD.
MACHINE GUNNERS! RELOAD-RELAY—FIRE!
THE
Mess Kit
A Dish Os
Cheery Food
For Thought
Lines Dedicated to
Headquarters Newlyweds
Lester and Janet
Lester is going to take a Trip
Everyone knows you're worthy and Fit,
So Pal, unto yourself you take a Wife
To you our Blessings and Joy through
ife
Each one of us know you'll be staunch
and True
Lemember she travelled far to marry
You,
Just take our Boy Dead, Lady Fair,
And all his troubles help him Bear
Never forget you are his Wife
Eradicate all kinds of Strife
To you our Blessings ond Joy through
Life.
—By Bn. Sgt. Maj. Jeremiah A. McNair. |
Headquarters M. T. D.\
1. W. W’s
I Wonder Why
Private Morse had to do Kay Pee so
often last week?
Someone threw the watermelon rind
in Sergeant Maj MacNalr’s pail of
water?
Sergeant Maj Mirnum sat on the Dav
enport at Mrs. Martin's moonlight cot
ton picking p.irty with a young lady on
each side <>f him, peeling apples and j
throwing the peels over his shoulder?
Corporal Haupt always get “Advance'
Notice’’ when Sgt Maj. Barnum gives
him some work to do?
M ss Dorothy Phillips always address
es corporal Haupt as ’’Dear Mr. Haupt."
Cirnn’i you do hotter than that, I • ro
thy?
Sergeant Major Barnum is growing an
eyebrow on his upper lin? Is It to keep
your nose warm, Ronald?
Corporal Hertzel. Private Sullivan and j
Private Morse were chosen to supply
the 35 necessary girls f.-r partners at the
dinner and donee tendered to Sergeant
Cusick and wife?
The mimeograj h mach’re didn't work
after Piepenbrink used it?
Private Stehr won't tell us who he gets
the stuffed dates and sweater from?
Sergeant Major Wille wanted to sleep
the other night until he heard someone
had a water m elo n ?
Sergeant Fletcher pays the bills at the j
Augusta restaurant and collects from the I
fellows later?
Private Frank receives so many pink i
notes lately—post-marked Beaux. New
York? He expects a vis-tor soon?
Sergeant Cusick runs after Augusta
cars and lets his wife drop her powder
puff?
«
tent Monday nmrning at Rcville when
Beem was at. Jerry MacNalr’s branch
headquorters?
Sergeant, poem we.rs an overcoat ev
ery morning after telling us how cold It
was at Camp Dodge when he was there?
Private Cooper tries to kick all the
stumps when going to town?
Private Benz only brings us a letter
once in a while?
Sergeant. Rose gives us grape- nuts for
brrnkfart on a cold morning? Is it to
warm our brains?
Private Banks has such a Large trunk
and two hats?
GROUP 1
High Notes From Co. 2
Wln-v's th- with our popular
Supply Sergent. Sunmy "Weston" Wer
stein’s Augusta heir-ss? From the out
look ’.u docs, nm tn be worried over
the fair sex deserting him. for we surely
admired the eharming entertainer from
Kierh’s who was seen in his company in
Au'.usta the athur day You cure do
pick ’em right, boy, don’t you, Sammy 0
By the way. his partner, Sergeant Scho
engold who comprises the other half of
the-team of "gould and Weston," '‘Han
cock’s best laugh getters", is now in
New York on a furlough, and we are anx
iously awaiting his return to camp, for
this team of clever entertainers is sure
ly missed.
The cold spell took us all by surprise
the other day. and several of the boys
looked as if they were shaking for the
drinks trying to withstand the sudden
chance of temperature, especially Ser- j
geant Vokclek. But. from the way the
sergeant handle;- his trusty old rifle,
many a Hun will shake in his shoes when
he starts at ’em.
Corpora] Alpetstein has been missing
for some days. He is enjoying a furlough
in the metropolis, the "little" town of
New York.
Pilis From Infirmary
209, First Group
Private Rosner, our human Victrola,
better known as Hasty Mabel, will look
like a zebra in a few days, as he is writ
ing for his stripes.
Private Dennis F. Mohoney solved the
eating problem at last. He is going to
eat out of his wash basin, and use the
half of the mess kit with the handle on
for a spoon. We suggest he see his
friend Stable Sergeant Hogan for a pitch
fork and an >x to complete his mess
gear.
First Class Sergeant Robert F. Cook
sure must have took second and third
when nerve was given out. Last week
ho called a young lody on the phone.
Twenty minutes later his trunk was sent
to the young lady's How do you
do, Sergeant. It’s a good thing you don’t
know the girl for a month, if you did. her
father would have to get your permis
sion to sit in the parlor.
We hear Private Nier is going to take
dancing lessons. Is it that, he is get
ting ready for the first seargeont’s wed
ding or is it for the purpose of keeping
warm these beautiful nights?
We also regretted to hear that after
being slated for a week of K. P. Pri
vate Niers’ name was taken off the list
in favor of Private Cammy. It sure was
a tough break for Private Nier alright.
We hope he gets the preference next
time.
Private Greenfield has a suggestion for
First Class Sergeant Cook. To find out
how you stand with the girl’s father, try
to borrow money from him. Also tell
him when you marry his daughter you
will expect him to support you and your
wife. Also ask hfm to secure a good
position for his daughter. If you are
still alive by this time, you are in soft,
kid.
This is all from experience. Sergeant.
I only got as far as trying to borrow
money from him, and then had to take a
two block lead on him, and I om still
running, boy.
if Private Greco, the detachment bar-
ber, can only trim the Huns as he can
tri mthe men he sure will make a good
soldier. The last five men he shaved
are in the hospital. Four of them are
doing nicely, the other man will never be
shaved agoin.
Private Quirk, the Shathann Bearcat,
is still taken care of by the folks at
home. The other day he received a reg
istered letter from home which con
tained money. After hearing of this’
Private Cammy wrote Quirk’s parents
asking would they odopt him for the du
ration of their money. Oh! 1 mean the
duration of the war,
The following is a letter found by
Private Greenfield in the Y, M. U. A.,
the writer evidentlly forgot to mail it:
Dear Folks:
Just arrived in camp about four months
ago, and thought I would write to you.
How is Ma and and also the pig? I hope
the cow is still giving the some amount
of milk she used to give.
The fellow that Ilves In the same tent
with me Is lucky. He gets money from
home. I am not hinting that you folks
should send me money, but If there is
any extra money in the house send it
to me. Also let me know in your next
letter if ! should write often for money.
How did Hiram Perkins make out in
the draft? If you send money, send
; about ten dollars. Is he called tn the
colors yet? Gee I am sorry he didn’t
[ come along with me. I don’t seen; to
have any friends here from home.
j Well, folks, it is getting to be about
9 o’clock, so guess I will close and go
to sleep. Don't forget the money. Re
gards to all at home, and also the mule,
and tell her she con't kick me for a while
n.»w. Your son,
WILLIAM.
P. S.—ls there isn’t any extra money
in the house, sell the old couch 1 used to
sleep on, and send me the money. Win.
|
I Cookies From the Cooks’
Headquarters Company,
Second Group, Right Off
the Griddle
This list of high class caterers of the
officers' mess hall No. 102, is undis
putable the appetizing delicacies, coup
led with service a la European and
up-to-date Americanai.se.
j Macris Ze Frenchman, is there with
I ze fried p< tatoes; he has not forgotten
I how to juggle them since he came from
Gay Paree.
Sergeant Moane, direct from Del
monico’s, Jack's, etc., New York City,
could apply his table and general guide
knowledge to some of Augusta's res
taurants.
Lagan, the cook, cannot bo given too
much credit for food eatable. He is
I there with the gravy.
AleDoiiaidd knows how to drive home
the bacon. The boy is gifted.
Wright, the English steward, takes
a roll in bed now and then; with his
won’t, you have a plum, and a plum for
; you. Awh, take the whole lot.
Morris Kapenick is to be credited as
' a good domestic expert; he is cheer
fully recommended as a first class hus
band.
>
i Enlisted Men Mess Hall No. 133. i
■ Sam vycx-ksmen, the peerless cook,
cannot be paralleled when it comes to
making puddings, steaks, roasted, etc.,
We are sure of a good meal when he is
at steak.
George Romas, the Greek strong
man and wrestler is the king of all
; spaghetti winders. Catch as catch can,
he strangles them into perfection.
One round Nappi, the fighting rook
and K. P. foreman, deserves a lot of
credit. He is a very hard and pleas
-1 ing worker. Very patient and fair to
the K. P.’s. Boys, this is an absolute
1 fact.
John Farinacci, Joseph Comi, and
Nick Hapsas are in the same stretch in
the race for supremacy fur go'od eats
and equally fine service. Thu boys
are noted as stewed prunes, puffed rice,
etc., experts.
Elmer Jacobs retains the champion
| ship of Camp Hancock as a ham and
egg expert, in other words, "the ham
| fnat am" with the taste that lingers.
It tasets mighty delicious. Chorus by
everybody.
Louis i Berman (the royal taster)
transferred from O. M. This said gen
tleman tastes of al eatables to deter
mine quality of foodstuffs. Tic* has a
system of training steaks so they won't
bite or talk back.
Frank Farbo, the toe dancer, is still
dancing around the pots.
Chew tobacco Bill is handing out
seconds on the chocolate puddinf.
Last, lut not least, a Ginson, the
news scavenger, or the man of mystery,
with a thousand eyes and ears, sees all.
Hears, all, and knows all.
472ND ENGINEERS HEAD
QUARTERS, SECOND
GROUP
Private Roger’s trips to the Camp Li
brary are becoming more frequent. And
whisper it softly, he is doing the heavy
correspondence act. (Don’t forget, girls,
to write your name on the magazines ’
you send in.)
Private Wiley announce a with bold
apprehension that he has nearly com
pleted his literary pursuits in that dic
tionary appearing novel, "F’ushing to
Front."
Private Stevenson appears in our cas
ualty list of this week as wounded by a
fork in line of duty.
Wanted—A secretary to answer Dinty
Moore’s letters.
FAY r ORITE EXPRESSIONS
“Dinty" More—Sir, I’d life to ask an
other question?
“Pa" Rager—Mas, let me get. you a
girl to write to you.
“Soc” Wiley—My goodness!
- *
“Sandy" Landstrum —Gee. I’m hungry.
“Dick" Farrand—Ker-chowie-ee’J!
“Steve" Stevenson—Let’s go to the
movies.
“Hal" Johnson —Come on, let’s take a
both.
"Mike" Newcomb —Did you ever see
one of those gyrasticutis animals?
“Mas" McCombs—dosh, I wish J were
married.
"Oscar" Brener —Let's have a little
game.
SOMETHING YOU~SELDOM SEE
Wiley without a book.
Our August pay-roll.
"Dinty" Moore without a letter to an
swer. •
Newcomb not looking for a letter.
Anyone complaining about the hot j
nights.
Where was "Dinty” Moore Sunday
night? He woke us up in the m ddie
of the night saying, “Oh you, sugar,
please explain!!!
The bunch had their brain power de- ’
termined at the psychology laboratory i
>
-
■ *'• a-n*
1
W’
■ 1 >*■';
■' A'Mi
/-A
■ K
British Tommie Uncovers German Machine Gun Emolacoment.
"This British Tcnituie. while -u duty, discovered this machinegun buried bv the fleeing Buns near Meterin rs
The soldier was photographed while in the act. of diggng out of the gun with his bare hands ' ~
—— . . , lfc ____________ Ji
last. Thur.'d y. Who wrote the Red
Raven? The Kaffir is a quedrayed.
Nasolean defeated the Austrians at
Waterloo, Crisco is a good dis ufuctant.
The wild west movies at the “Y“ are
getting in their deadly work. “Dinty"
Moore was discovered at 2 a. m. with
1 his O. S. blanket gracefully draped ahnu:
him. impersonating Chief Bald-Eagle
'sitting- on-a-rock-with-his- tail-hanging
over-the-edge.
Pills From Second
Group, Infirmary 109
Kid Horowitz made a heroic effort
to hike to the range but his pep gave
out and here is where trouble begins
‘ Doc" Fishman c.ainis the credit for
bringing him to the range, but Horo
witz co: tends that he only gave him
one finger.
Rosenbaum worked hard at the
range, learning how to jump.
Something is going to happen, out
Sergeant (Adams) gut a perfectly good
hair cut. Where out thou going, John?
Check wants to kr.ow why McKin
stry called the roll three times a day
while away from camp. Tell lorn,
Mack, I don't talk to him. -
Sergeant Neer nnd Private Tolh were
out auto riding along the Walton Way
the other night, we wonder what the
attraction could be as we all know
they a: e bachelors.
Private Wueuschrl and his scrub
squad have taken the i>ri<e in line of
sanitation or pep.
The boys wonder why Private Quinn
was not allowed to ake part in the in
spection Saturday morning. Tell us
< Rod).
’ Bob Trautman < ;:n't understand why
Wuenschel kids him about the inspec
toid. Why his ten; was the neat'st
of the bunch.
Pensaka’s girl must of went back
on him :.s he did not get a letter from
her Wednesday, tell Sharkey about it.
Max.
Notes of 15th Company.
Only two of the original five machine
gun instructors are left.
Sergeants Waldenberger, BihJer and
Herrman have been transferred, but
Sergeants Kenneberg am] Rees ar.- still
with us.
Officers Mess, Sth Bat.,
Second Group
Will Sgt. Monitor ple.ise lot his sluff
know when he is going tsend her the I
service pin.
AV’eit is the attraction in town, ("ook j
Say, Mueller, where w<re you L-u t Sat
urday night when you .nrne home at 2
a. m.
Notes From 16th Co.,
Second Group
NOTES FROM I'lth Co.
Mechanic Charles Winkler is now at
work const j uriiug a new orderly tent, I
having made suhh a goorl job < f the sup
ply tent. Let us hope he will not. takcA
as long on this one as ort the last. Say
what you want though, w< have a pearl !
in our chief mechanic.
They say actors never cat. But v. ill
som. l '-dy '-xplain why Private Bon Gold
berg has been on K. P. -■< frequently of
late, He is sick in quarters this nu.rn- '
Ing. Probably the ic*- creum he ate last
Sunday has affected him.
i Sergeant Charles W. Libby- Bft fori
1 Portland, Mo., vostorday c.n a fift'-cn-day
furlough to visit his mother.
Corporal Arthur Anderson is ns wnrre d
looking as ever. Some om. thought it was .
a furlough he needed, but perhaps some ;
little girl in town can tell us more about I
it.
Segeant Harris is very melancholy of.
late. We notice his name was on the
pass list three'nights last week and also
Sunday afternoon. This is very unu.- ual
as upon Investigation we find Sergeant
Harris’ name on the oass list but twice ,
in the past month. What has eomc over •
the old boy. Perhaps he is jn love.
First Class Private Daniel Clark has
received his well-deserved promotion. He -
in now Corporal Clark.
We have the best non-commissioned of- '■
ficer gas instructor in the camp in Pvt. j
Joseph B. Ltonard. In recognition of Ids .
efficient work he has been promoted to
be a corporal.
Private Harry Schroeder has been made '
a corporal. Evidently he has made some ;
impression.
Sergeant Coolman had a visitor Sun- i
day. We would be S'itisfied to l>». con- ;
fined to camp the rest of our lives if j
we had such a visitor every Sunday.
Sergeant Rawland S. Burdette, at his
own request, was reduced to the ranks
that hr- mav be s- ’it over • as soon as '
possible. Three cheers for Sergeant Bur
dette. This spirit will win the war.
Evidently Sergeant Stockert h:m lor tod i
an old girl school chum in Minneanolis.
II- has received no less than a dozen h t- j
ters the past week nost-marked “Pdtnne- ;
apolis." We wish him luck but advise
him not to forget the girl in Arkansas.
Sergeant Frazier, the best looking .‘-■er
geant in camp, is continually moaning
over his letters from Manitowae. The !
handwriting rlenotrs a woman in the case.
We suppose he will be asking for a fnr-
Ipugh one of these days. 1
Who said Corporal Neary was g ing ;
down town for the sole purpose of at- i
tending church services. We know dif
ferent. Watch your step, corporal.
The mess hall is getting very popular
those days as the corporals Insist upon '
doing . P. We wonder what the attraction ;
Is. It surely can't be the rooks, for we
have no female cooks in the army.
First Sergeant Maloney is filling the
bill very efficiently and is constantly on
the lookout for evil doers, so beware of
the wood-pile boys.
In our opinion Corporal Tom Slater has
caught the sleeping sickness since bls
arrival In Camp Hancock. It usually
TRENCH AND CAMP
tal-.-s six pairs of shoes, two rifle butts
and Mechanic Winkler Io wake him up
in the morning in time for reveille.
Short' ('orporal Brooks has at last
succeeded in getting a pair of breeches
slu ri enough and small enough to fit his
girlish form. We can see him on the
wood-pi!<- now with Corporal Lemelson in
the background giving him plenty of pro
fessional advice, but r.o help.
17th Company Speaks
Sergeant William Mas.-u.tti still talks in
liis sl-.i-p as usual, squads right and left
all night.
Sgts. George Clinovodstrio, Masotti,
Grillo and dinrod singing. “I'm Sorry 1
Made You Cry."
Sgt. Reynold.-? always cleaning machine
guns
Bits of Bright Bunk
From 18th Training Co.
Our old top sergeant is now top in
Company 8.. M. G. Bn., at Camp Sheri
dan. Montgomery, AD. We. wish him all
tlie luck in the world.
They sue Faber is an .acting non-com,
but didn’t siy what grade. Here's luck,
Faber.
I’vt. Rcholtzen sure did some ikcklng
the other day. He only g<>t two letters
and ... (I lie had aught to have got five.
W tidni. Lt. Dunkel is <■olo mess of
fs er. lie sure can put out the eats.
daps. Ring and Ziliy are sure gogetters.
R-alls the girls go "Wild, Simply Wild.”
<>ver tlieii., <-v< n come from Savannah to
• • th» io Some of us sure envy these
two darling boys.
Sgt “Smoothe, Top" Alm».erode doesn’t
; • ■ ;,i tin* : aim- since all the old boys have
g !■ awav. YVhat’s the matter, “Smoothe
Top?”
Tax lor sure think a lot of some
one in Belvedere. S. <'. His passes al
ways read that way.
Tlu boys that went to damp Funston
•mi* wi h they were b ek here, anyway
that is what they write.
Rostns are red.
Violets are blue.
I paid for these.
And gave them to you.
I’HOTO-ILAY.
We don’t lu'.ir much of “Cab horse"
-dm-. S'4». T> i;.>-rt has been gone. But.
listen, otir “cab horse" Is still alive and
i fattening up nicely since we took him
times,
\*. liv nocs Corp. Ziliy always want a lat o
I ” aKS?
Sgt. Petty i having a fine time at
('■ nip Lewis. He calls th L God's Coun
try.
GROUP 3
Oblique Traverses From the
Third Group
Serent Sammy of the 30th Company
expected his hett< r-half-1 o-be to arrive
in Align ta on th<- 5:35 p, m. train, but
1 found she wasn't due to arrive til 2:30
a rn. Sammy dragged that box of choc
jA'i.ife', and wedding ling around for
‘ • hours, and then the train was four
j Lr ur • late and Sornmy was minus a pass.
! The course of true love never did run
I smoot h.
‘ Maxie Gnldste.n, lie who yearned for;
Yaphank, is gore to the permanent ner
' sonnei of the Machine Gun school. Man
,tbs- pick and shovel. Max!
II ng a large service flag out in front'
|of Tent 27.
Promotions are fast and furious in the
20th Cornpony, in fa<-t, so fast that Hie
first sergeant can’t keep up to date. He
' i»u? two corporals on K. P. last week.
Wanted: A physically unfit, first ser
i grant.
I ('ornoral Rdd'c Cohan was found in
his straw tick the other morning
, tj-ying tn eat his way out. Eddie thought
be havin'' to eat Shredded wheat,
for breakfast.
S.-rgeant Goklwasser’s mess war-cry,
> "Hey, Sergeants first!" .
! The 34th (.’omnany reports that they
Hiavc found a fighter that trained with a
plow handle. Watch out all you heavy
.vcighi.:, fur he’s going to poire up the
group, so thev ray. They have a cou
n ■ of New York .-’croppers, and from all
)' nor’.' it is a fighting outfit.
Kill him, Joe, knock him for a goal!
if organizing fool all team has a
i oorre-'Dondii'g effect to organizing a
1 Lms-liall team, Sergeant Phillips will be
.on crutches soon,
j ft won’t be teeth this time, Barge!
1 Little Tales from the Moss Hall—
’ Acting C'orporol Jenkins wa- walking
Mm and down the cnrnpanv street. Ha! |
Wb -.! is that horrile sight that meets j
Ii ■ eves' A MATCH'- Conscious of his
new-found rank, proud, probably, as
D'ho :.,” ever was, he ofills a detail.
■ “H.cli. men, come pick up this match.)
!dOI’BIAC'" Lot us draw the veil of ob
w -rit. 1 - over the ungentle end to this
• ptory.’
Qualified os corporal. Height four feet
inches; weight, 175 lbs. avdp., who
! c >Dir: to Hie lieutenant as follows:
“Sir [ .-!< ily love to dr.ll, but please.
Dr. f mu t requisition a smaller rifler if
i do that pre mutation arms.” He has
j '^ h - e and Coolest Dining Room in the City. Specializing in All Kinds Eats ■
v o n | Northern Meat R
j \“Subway"X = d l
X THE PLACE OF EATS X ■
\ 958 BROAD STREET. \
H SPECIAL SUN DAY DINNER 75c 5 RM. to 8 P. M. |
; WE CATER TO NOTE HIGH AVERAGE
SPECIAL PARTIES. IVI KJ SOLDIERS U.S. HEALTH CERTIFICATE.
a nifty new silk uniform that he wore
> one hour during the Jewish holidays. The
M. I’.’s p oked him up, and now he has
110 days K. I’.
News From the 28th
Company, Third Group
The new men who just arrived from
Camp Gordon are as tall as the pipes
that grow in Georgia. They are a snap
py bunch and will soon have the ma
chine gun click.
Traversing With the
29th Company
2. That’s almost as bad as the one
the farmer lad from Georgia gave us
the other day. \Vhen asked where he
belonged, as he was skeltering around,
looking for his platoon, he confided in
all seriousness, that he belonged in the
third Spitoon.
3. Oh, boys, did you notice the vis
ion of loveliness that Sgt. McCarty
has been trailing around with lately?
Stingy, why don’t you introduce a fel
ler. Honest, we’ll bo good. Am I right,
boys? RIGHT. Oh, Gir-uls.
4. There is an epidemic n this com
pany of Clerkitis. We have stopped
counting, but at the last census, if we
remember rightly, Pvt. H. J. Hueller
was the 27th or 37th Engineer of the
Typewriter, and Company Clerk in
this office.
I. Is there no relief? On bended
knees, we beg of thee, Sgt. Leskinsky,
cut out the -ice cream, not that we
like to complain, but the latest photo
of ourselves has caused some comment
on the remarkable- resemblance to
peach, so please hear our plea. Enuf
sed.
6. We hear a rumor that tripods
will be issued to the sergeants of this
organization to mount their pistol;, on.
From the way they’ve been handling
them, the aforementioned pistols must
be heavier than our machine guns. Gee,
it must be nice to be a sergeant.
7. By the way, Sgt. Intemann, what
happened Sunday night? We noticed
you were asleep at 12 o'clock, midnight.
Something wrong with your- watch?
Usually we can find our first sergeant
wide awake and working at all hours
up to 4 a. rn. Oh, boy, nothing to do
till tomorrow.
8. For the information of our South
Georgia member, we wish to state that
if he will find out from some source
where his left foot is, he wjll be taken
out of the Unhandy Squad at once.
Your pardon, that’s not an unhandy
squad. Big Joy, that’s an Awkward
Squad. Does’nt that sound better?
9. Hey Rookie; that stuff you want
for those thumb blisters raised by Lt.
Hines’s Manual of Arms drilling is no
longer called "At Ease Plaster," that's
old stuff now. Come again.
10. We don’t object to Sgt. Larrie
Hoelscher using Love-me Powder or
' wearing a watch, but when it comes
to wearing a Night-Cap; Well, we
wonder where his girl thinks he is
anyhow.
11. Watch for our big DANCE. Sgt.
' Busker, front center. Yo.
Promotions in the 31st
Co., Third Group
Several promotions have taken place.
Corporals Joseph Eilenberg, Joseph
Testai, Claude Van Buren, have |>een
made sergeants.
The following privates were promat
ed to corporals: Jacob Halpern, Orbit
Utley, Frederick Meyer, Allen G.
Jones, Ratlin M. Ehro, William J.
Frown, William Balliet.
Pills, Tablets and Salts From
Third Group Infirmary
Thanks to Captain DeVries, our emi
nent fght enthusiast, the men of the in
firmary are trying their lefts and rights
on each other every morning. We ought
to develop a Benny Leonard out of the
bunch. Mebbe so. Mebbe so.
Sergeant Franklin and Private Wein
' stein use the same fountain pen to write
their love letters. It used to belong
to Private Weinstein, but now they call
it our PEN.
We were all sorry to see Lieut. Mc
-1 (’parrin leave us, but we’re all relieved
Ito hear that he's coming back. He will
have his little jokes.
! How do they do It on 33 a month.
I Smoke six and seven cigars a day. I’ve
never seen him without one. Guess that’s
the reason he never goes to town. Or
else he's true to her. That’s Private
Dever all over.
Private Weinstein reviewed the parade
last Saturday on his bicycle. Coming
bock his tire went flat and he hasn’t been
riding it ever since.
Will someone please help us find out
what that L stands for on Joel Steins’
first name? It may be Lanky, Looney,
Loverne, Lumbago. Let us hear from
you.
Private Kitses has a vocabulary all his
own. And he used It to good advant
ogu on a horse that couldn't understand
him at first, but after a fast run to the
corral they finally go to understand each
each, and Private Kitses found himself
sprawled in the sand. Was marked
quarters next day.
HARDBOILED HAPPENINGS
FIFTH GROUP
By Corporal Henry E. Greene
“Together we stand! !”
Vassals grim, for us to trim.
In Liberties name, on Hell’s hot brim,
Cannons roar, and Aeros soar.
To teach the Hun, to his very core.
Our Countrie’s name has ne'er known
shame,
Right for right's sake, is our aim.
Yanks fighting every day for thee,
sweet Freedom for Democracy.
The 49th, Go., is in the throes of a
K. P. contest. Willie Hughes is in the
lead, with Sam Baker running a close
second. Johnny Austin is the Dark
Horse in the la-’e. Austin being the Dark
Horse Is accounted for. by his having to
clean the Field Range so often. James
Payneand Willie Johnson have been on
detached service for quite some time now.
Who knows the. answer to this one?
Y r ou have to hand it to the 50th, Co.,
for digging up the queer ones. The C. O.
noticing Pvt. Willie Rock's shirt pocket
unbuttoned, took hold of the lapel of his
pocket and asked: "Don’t you want that
button?" Rock turned a cherubic grin on
the C. O. and In all seriousness replied:
“No, Sir, you can have. it. I have lots
more in my barracks bag." Can you beat
it?
Sergeant Pritchard, of the 51st. Go., and
his wife, are the Terpsichorean Wild Cats
of the Group. They start dancing where
other couples leave off, and we are not
so sure hut Sgt. Pritchard will dance his
w'ay straight (or rather round) Into Ber
lin. Let’s see you do It “Sarge", vou'll
have lots of company and SOME RAND.
Who knows Sgt. "Fat" Gazdzik (You
have to sneeze to pronounce his name) of
the 52nd Co? “Fat" has the happy dis
position and a brogue that only a native
born son of Old Erin could imitate, that
Is if the son of Old Erin had lived the
greater part of his life in Poland or Ho
boken, N. J.
Private Evans of the 53rd. Co. heard
that he was to be made Sergeant, and his
enthusiasm ran rampant (whatever that
is) He asked nerly everyone In the Co.
if they had heard the joyous news. Ev
idently Evans feels his coming resp. nsi
bility keenly rvd his wonderful red hair
shines “redder" than ever. Cheer
“Red”! The first fourteen rears are the
hardest.
IT’S UP TO YOU!
By
CORPORAL HENRY E. GREENE
A soldier boy In Khaki clad,
A fearless eye. a smile that’s glad
A stern resolve, unselfish he,
In his great fight for Liberty.
A gaping wound, before he goes,
Is in his heart, but he never shows.
By word or deed, his thoughts or care,
His one idea is, to get Oyer there.
Think well of him, ye slacker man.
For he is way beyond your ken.
He gives hls all, and asks for naught
That Liberty for you be bought,
The day will come, and you will see
This soldier back from o’er the sea
Back home dgain, to his Native Land,
Will you be fit to shack his hand?
WiH you be fit to walk with him.
vynos duty done has been so glrm?
Will you be fit to call him Brother 9
hen though you’er both born of one
mother?
Mark ye, these word's, ano ark the/h
well,
Do yourblt and do not yell.
Give all you’er got and work fn r more
To help your Brother, on foreign shore.
Each effort made by you and me,
Io help his world, to Liberty.
Is a jewel precious beyond all’ prices.
I* or human life, is the sacrifice.
, let ’, s <io our blt ’ ‘■very Mother's son,
And clear the world, of the murderous
Hun,
Each small thing done, by vou and me
Assures the world of Liberty,
From early morn, till late at night
Let s work just as hard, as our soldiers
fight.
Let’s show our Boy's what we can do
To help them win! IT’S UP TQ YOU!!
The 544th. Co., is still unconscious
from the affects of their banquet last
Tuesday night, talking of banquets, this
one was the one. that put the ‘•bang"
in banquet. No wonder they Nicknamed
the Co. The Snappy 54th. The Mess Hall
was decorated until it made Paradise
resemble a "camouflage.”
And the banquet held bv the 55th, Co.
the following night: well, if the 54th.. put
the “bang" in banquet, the 55th., put
’blow ’ m blowout. Shades of Falstaff!
But it was far from a small evening. The
writer knows! It’s a tough life!!
U. S. FOR OFFICERS
Have just received a big new shipment by special deliv
ery and can supply you in any number,
each
f Officers’ Uniforms
i Especially do we call the attention of
' the Training Camp Men.
j Come in and select your uniform now
■ —tailored or ready made make a
small deposit. If your commission does
not arrive, you get your deposit back.
Serge Uniforms from s3s.oo up
Whip Cord Uniforms from. . $45.00 up
Garbadine Uniforms from.. $35.00 up
Cotton Uniforms from sl2.so up
3 F. G. WERTINS
Page 5
ATTENTION MEN’!
A girl Is a dear and a Devil.
A sinner and saint in one,
She’s crooked and on the level,
She’s mad and she’s only in fun.
She’s stupid and also she’s witty,
She’s cruel and soft as a dove,
She's ugly and ravishing pretty,
A girl is just something to love.
Aftermath!!
She’s not an Angel, a Goddess, a Lily, 04
Pearl,
She’s just that which is neatest, sweet
est, completest,
A dear little, cute little, sweet little girl
The 55th, Co., won. the machine gurt
competition of the Bth, Group. Alwayi
before a competition this importance
there generally is an incentive brought tc
bear, in order to get the best out of th4
men. The day of the competition
“Stretch" Johnson the Lilliputian cook 01
the company, evidently feared that hi!
company was in danger of not being irf
the running, so he put a whole box ‘oi
pepper in the beans. The rerult is evi
dent All Company Commanders pleas 4
copy!!
Mess Sgt. Lynch of the 56th, Co., had
rightfully earned the title Mother Hub
can’t be beaten. He has long ones, short
ones, fat ones, thin ones, and how they
can cook. Lynch is to i.e congratulated,
not only on his selection of cookie-and the
splendid grub they p.oduce, but also foi
the spotless kitchen and Mess Hall hfl
maintains.
The 58th, Co., sent a. guard down to
the Camp Quartermaster’s last Frida j
night; (we hate to tell this one) and ths
corporal of the guard very carefully in
structed his men c/out halting everjl
one, and every moving vehicle in th4
vicinity of the warehouses, emphasizing
the moving vehicles. One bird wanted to
know if he should halt all the railroad
trains. Must be some relation to the laU
lamented Jesse James, eh?
Wafted on the “cool" breeze of an Au
tumn morning comes this one from the
59th Co.. I’vt. Emile Ortige on leaving
the mess hall had some pudding on hS
plate, and the Sgt. told him he avouW
have to eat it at the next meal. Ortlgo
remonstrated vigorously, but to no avail,
11<- racked hls brain for somt wav to get
out of eating this pudding because he lik
ed it about as well as he does a German,
and finally hit on a happy idea. He
paid one of his "Runkies” a thin smooth
dime to eat it for him. A brand new idea
for a new lucrative business. “Stomach
for rent", would make an inspiring
"shingle” to hang out now wouldn’t it?
ILL-ADVISORY
BUREAU OF KNOWLEDGE—WHAT
YOU WANT TO KNOW.
By A. Ginson.
Dear Editor.
1 am a live guy from a big town, now
that I am here in Augusta, will asH
your advice about how I might enjojl
myself during the week.
Yours respectfully,
R. U. WISE.
Answer.
Mr. R. U. Wise.
Here is an outlined prospectus that
may prove helpful. Take your pick:
Monday—K. P. ,
Tuesday—Guard Duty.
Wednesday--The Range.
Thursday—Trench Digging.
Friday—Garbage wagon.
Saturday—Writing home for money.
Sunday—Confinement to camp.
Respectufully your,
EDITOR.
Editor,
Dear .Sir:
A few weeks ago I noticed in the
group articles a certain Co.'s articles
read as follows. A few shots from
Co. Why! My Co. had that
title a week before they did. It Is a
shame for them to do such a trick.
How can we get hunk?
IZZY Y
Answer.
Dear Izzy Foolish.
I must agree that your Co. has suf
fered a little embarrassment, but you
should not take it so to heart. Pardon
my bold remark. It Is for your own
good. If you must get even, and be
over with, take a few shots back at
'em.
Yours,
EDITOR.
Sweet William was being measured
for a suit of clothes. It was his first
made to order suit, and he was very
proud of the fact. His mother, after
the shopman had made air the neces
sary weird passes with the tape,
walked over to another counter to in
spect some goods. , ,
"This will be a nice suit, my little
fellow.” smiled the counterman to
little William. "Would you like the
shoulders padded?”
.“Don't matter about the shoulders,
was the significant reply, “but you
can pad the trousers.”
Other Machine Gun
News on Page Six
